Почему чужое мнение разрушает твою жизнь? Как правильно относиться к критике и хейту?

0:00How can you ignore the opinions of

0:02others when you're criticized , when

0:04they express negativity , or when they

0:06express hate ? Is it worth it ? Let's

0:09talk about this today . In this video ,

0:11I'll tell you about the correct

0:13approach to criticism , hate , negativity

0:15, and so on . Moreover , I'll share life

0:19hacks on how to benefit from it . And in

0:22cases where it's impossible to benefit ,

0:24how to learn to ignore such negative

0:27opinions , criticism , or hate . Of course

0:29, you shouldn't completely ignore the

0:31opinions of others , because we must

0:33clearly understand that this is

0:35feedback from reality , and it is a

0:37powerful source of development and

0:39improvement . Therefore , in this flood

0:41of negativity , hate , criticism , and ill

0:44will , we must be able to clearly

0:47separate the useful from the unhelpful .

0:50Today , I'll teach you how to use this

0:52powerful feedback channel for your own

0:54benefit . Today , I'll give you three

0:56basic principles or rules for the

0:58correct approach to the opinions of

1:00others . First , separate all the

1:02opinions of others , or all the hate or

1:05negative comments written under your

1:08video or anywhere else under your post .

1:11Separate them into helpful and harmful ,

1:13regardless of their tone . Unfortunately

1:16, when we read such comments , we focus

1:19primarily on tone . What we should focus

1:22on is helpfulness or harmfulness . Or ,

1:23as they say , constructive criticism and

1:26non-constructive criticism . What do

1:28these terms mean ? Constructive

1:31criticism means that you can derive

1:33some benefit from it and improve your

1:35behavior . Non-constructive criticism is

1:38simply trashing . They trash you and

1:39scold you . Therefore , any opinions

1:42under your post , whether under your

1:44interview or anywhere else , even if

1:46they're spoken to you by colleagues at

1:48the office , simply separate them into

1:50helpful and harmful . Try to ignore the

1:54tone itself , whether the feedback is

1:56helpful or critical , the hate is

1:59helpful , or the comment . Write it down

2:01in a separate list for further

2:03implementation and improvement in your

2:05life . Or I'll often write down such

2:07negative feedback on my list of things

2:10to think about . There are things that I

2:13realize the other side might be right

2:16and I might be wrong , but I need to

2:18think about them and see how I can

2:21change my behavior . So I keep a notepad

2:23, I have a list called " Thinking . " I

2:25write things down there . So learn to

2:27ignore tone and separate what's useful

2:30from what's not , and then write the

2:33useful stuff down on a separate list to

2:36work on later . Put the unhelpful stuff

2:40aside for now , and I'll tell you how to

2:41work with it . That list , when you've

2:44taken all that negativity , hate ,

2:46comments , and so on , selected the

2:48useful parts , written them down on this

2:51list , then you take the rest and simply

2:54ignore it . And then the question arises

2:56: Yeah , it's easy to say , ignore it ,

2:58but how do you do it ? And here I'll

3:00give you three more life hacks . Now ,

3:03how to ignore the opinions of others .

3:06And this is exactly the case I

3:08mentioned at the beginning of our video

3:10. How to ignore the opinions of those

3:12around you . First , you need to

3:14understand one important thing :

3:17everyone has their own problems . Just

3:20take a look at yourself and analyze

3:23your day . How much time do you spend

3:27thinking about other people or their

3:30problems ? How much time ? Really look at

3:33the truth . Because in reality , you

3:35don't really think about other people

3:38all day . You have enough of your own

3:40problems . That you don't have enough

3:41problems to think about , that you don't

3:44have enough problems to deal with . No ,

3:46that's not true . When you watch a

3:48blogger , for example , if you yourself

3:50wrote some hateful comment — you just

3:52watched it , you immediately had a

3:54reaction , you immediately wrote it in

3:56the comments and forgot about it — you

3:58need to clearly understand that

4:00everyone has their own problems , and

4:02they definitely don't care about you .

4:04So don't worry . This is the first way

4:08to ignore other people's negative

4:09opinions . The second way . Keep in mind

4:13that people who judge you are often

4:16more likely to judge themselves , and

4:19their comments , even if they've written

4:22mean comments , are more directed at

4:25themselves . It's as if they're looking

4:28into a mirror . They see themselves and

4:30their shortcomings in the mirror and

4:33express their hatred and resentment

4:35specifically at those qualities they

4:38possess . So , don't take everything

4:40personally . For example , if I harbor a

4:43certain hatred , dislike , or negativity

4:46toward laziness , then when I see

4:48laziness manifesting itself , I'll

4:51definitely comment and say , " You're

4:53lazy ; I'll write some offensive word . "

4:56But that doesn't mean I'm referring to

4:58that person . I mean I hate the laziness

5:01that manifests itself in them . But I

5:04hate my own laziness . And so , this

5:07negativity is directed more at laziness

5:09than at that person . So keep in mind

5:12that when people judge you , they're

5:15often not judging you , but the

5:17qualities they see in you , as if in a

5:20mirror , that they don't like . Third .

5:23Third . Always remember that it's always

5:27those beneath you who are discussing

5:30and judging . Because those who are

5:32cooler than you , who are more

5:34successful than you , they definitely

5:35don't care about you . Consider this :

5:39the people whose opinions you should

5:41listen to , the people whose opinions

5:43you should value , simply don't care

5:45about you . They won't write you hate .

5:48So always keep in mind that anyone who

5:51writes you hate , indignation , criticism

5:54, and so on , are usually people beneath

5:57you . And those , uh , who are cooler than

6:00you , they don't care about you . In that

6:02case , is it worth listening to the

6:05opinions of people and worrying about

6:07the opinions of those whose opinions

6:10you don't value and who are beneath you

6:13? When people ask me , " How should I

6:15treat the opinions of loved ones ,

6:17friends , relatives , and so on , when

6:19they express negative opinions ? " But

6:21the rules I've outlined here also apply

6:24. It's very common for someone to be

6:27having a bad day , in a bad mood , with

6:29their own problems , and they simply

6:31take it out on others . Therefore , when

6:34someone says something negative to you ,

6:36first , consider whether it's actually

6:39helpful , whether it's truly

6:40constructive . If it is helpful , try not

6:43to pay attention to the tone and thank

6:47the person . Once you thank the person

6:49and show that you've accepted it , they

6:52won't insist further . Second , sometimes

6:55someone says something negative , and

6:59you can't figure out whether it's

7:02helpful or not . In that case , here's a

7:05good life hack : ask them directly : "

7:08What are you suggesting I do ? " Or what

7:11do you want me to do ? It often happens

7:13that if someone offers unconstructive

7:16criticism , they can't offer a plan ,

7:19they can't really formulate what they

7:22want from you . They're simply angry or

7:24negative , so it's easier for you to

7:26ignore them , and you understand what it

7:28means — either they have their own

7:30problems in the country , or they're bad

7:32, and so on . Just , uh , distance

7:35yourself , and so on . But if they tell

7:38you specifically what to do or what

7:40they'd like you to do , then you can ask

7:44clarifying questions and , uh , benefit

7:46from the negative feedback . And it's

7:49very important to remember that in

7:52order to solve any problem , it's

7:55crucial to follow two rules . First ,

7:57look at the problem . Second , don't look

8:00away . Very often , when a stranger

8:02expresses something negative , it's

8:05enough to simply look them in the eyes ,

8:07show that you understand , or even just

8:10ask them directly : " What do you want

8:13from me or what do you want ? " And this

8:16is quite enough to stop their

8:18aggression . In general , if you're

8:21interested in this topic and want to

8:23learn more , head over to my Telegram

8:25channel . I'll leave the link below . We

8:27can talk and discuss this in more

8:29detail there . So don't worry , I've

8:32given you three ways to deal with

8:35negative opinions from others and how

8:38to ignore them . So move forward . The

8:41dogs bark , but the caravan moves on . I

8:44wish you good luck .