Full transcript
0:00Yo, whether you're walking into a party,
0:02leading a meeting, or going on a first
0:04date, everybody wants to feel cool. Not
0:06just liked, but someone who people
0:09unwillingly and unknowingly gravitate
0:11towards. But here's the catch. Most
0:13people, they try to trace cool by
0:15copying trends and wearing the right
0:18thing or saying the right thing. That's
0:20BS. They try to be good and agreeable,
0:23someone that people like. And in doing
0:25so, they lose what actually makes
0:26someone cool, what actually makes
0:28someone magnetic. Because coolness, it
0:30it isn't random. It's not a combination
0:32of luck and looks or whether you're born
0:35with money. It's a specific set of
0:36traits that across cultures and
0:38generations people agree on. So, if it's
0:41just that, then all you have to do is
0:43adopt those specific set of traits or
0:45lean more into them and you'll become
0:47cool. So, I'm here to help you out. I
0:49broke it down. And I went meticulously
0:51in depth to figure out what cool is and
0:54how you can achieve it until you're not
0:56just the coolest in the room, but you
0:58might just accidentally develop a
1:00cult-like following in the process.
1:05But first, what even is cool? A recent
1:08study across 13 countries and 6,000
1:11people found that coolness, it looks the
1:13same literally everywhere that you go.
1:15That means that cool, it isn't personal.
1:17It's a universal truth. And cool people,
1:19according to the data, they share six
1:22core traits. They're extroverted. They
1:24show up and they take space. They're
1:26hedonistic. They chase pleasure and they
1:28make things fun. They're powerful. They
1:30feel control of themselves in the world.
1:31They're adventurous. They try new things
1:33and they take risks. They're open.
1:35They're curious and they embrace new
1:37experiences. And they're autonomous.
1:39They're independent. They're
1:40self-contained. They're unbothered. All
1:42your favorite artists, all your favorite
1:44designers, musicians, whatever, they all
1:46have some sort of combination of these
1:48traits. Even that popular person in your
1:51social circle, that one person who
1:52smoothly connects with strangers, has
1:54all these crazy stories to tell, they
1:55have these set of specific traits. And
1:57for the most part, people, they they
1:59understand this. They get this part. But
2:00right here is where they make the
2:02biggest mistake. They confuse being good
2:05and being cool. They see their super
2:07popular friend, that one musician that
2:09they look up to, and they go, "Everybody
2:11likes them. They must be really good."
2:14No, that's not that's not how this works
2:15at all. The biggest mistake that people
2:17make is believing that being good and
2:18being cool can exist at the same time.
2:21But they can't because good, it's about
2:23safety, rules, and consistency, and
2:25being cool, it's about risk. Coolness
2:29requires you to step outside of what's
2:31expected, which means by definition,
2:32you're stepping away from what is good.
2:34Good is safe. cool is risky. Here's how
2:37I look at it. Take a look at this chart.
2:39Everything, I'm talking everything, even
2:42you can be plotted on this graph. And
2:44it's important to understand this chart
2:47because being cool, being magnetic, is
2:49all about positioning and identity. Who
2:51you are, what you represent, what
2:53character traits you have. So by better
2:55understanding this graph or the things
2:56around us that we widely accept as you
2:59know cool or corny or trying too hard or
3:03wholesome we can literally adopt the
3:05traits of the things that we want to be
3:08in order to be treated like those
3:10things. So let's take a look at this
3:12chart. The x-axis moves from good on the
3:15left to daring on the right. The y-axis
3:18moves from tryhard at the bottom to
3:19authentic at the top. the ultimate form
3:22of cool, the most powerful superpower
3:24that all your idols have. They live in
3:26this top right quadrant. Let's break it
3:28down. Being authentic and trying too
3:30hard, they're mutually exclusive,
3:31meaning they they're opposite of each
3:33other. Next, we can also assume that
3:34being good, oh my god.
3:39Next, we can assume that being good and
3:40being risky also are mutually exclusive.
3:42They can't exist at the same time. A
3:45good example of this is Kanye West. Uh
3:47oh, I said his name. Oh my god, he's
3:48going to appear. He has a cult-like
3:50following of people that support him.
3:52People think he's really cool, but is he
3:53necessarily a good guy? I don't. And at
3:56first glance, that seems to be it. If
3:57you're authentic and daring, you're
3:59cool. You're magnetic.
4:01Wrong. There's a huge plot twist. Uh-oh.
4:03There's a Z-axis. We turn this whole
4:05thing around. This entirely new part of
4:07the graph is the most important part.
4:09And without understanding this, you
4:11can't achieve total coolness. You can't
4:13or this is the key to captivating people
4:15without even saying a word. Mystery. The
4:17biggest reason why your favorite artist
4:19or that super popular person in school
4:21is so cool is because they have an
4:23element of the unknown. They don't
4:25reveal everything. And this is important
4:27because sometimes you can fall into
4:28being cool. You can get lucky. You can
4:29get invited to that one party and be
4:31like, "Oh, shoot. I'm one of the cool
4:32kids now. Um, I'm not so sure about
4:35that." But the way you stay there, the
4:37way you stay in that magnetic zone is
4:39mystery. That means for you the trick
4:41isn't to water yourself down so that
4:43everyone understands you but to double
4:45down on your quirks and to let others
4:47meet you there. And as France Kofka, one
4:50of the coolest writers in history once
4:51said, "Don't bend, don't water it down.
4:54Don't try to make it logical. Don't edit
4:56your own soul according to the fashion.
4:58Rather follow your most intense
5:00obsessions mercilessly." That means
5:02speaking in secret languages, using
5:04underground codes, starting inside
5:06jokes, and deliberately holding back,
5:08keeping your sense of privacy, creating
5:10gaps and silences that deliberately keep
5:13you from being flattened and obvious and
5:15predictable. That's why Frank Ocean
5:17stays in his top spot. He has a huge
5:19group of unrelenting supporters because
5:22he's an enigma. The market can't fully
5:24grasp who he is. He lives in his own
5:27world. He releases music when he wants
5:28to. He's rare. Or look at the person at
5:30the party who's captivating and doesn't
5:32say very much. Or the Instagram with
5:34zero posts. There's something so
5:36entrancing about that. There's something
5:38so magnetic about that. Like who is this
5:40person? Mystery is magnetic. Mystery is
5:43cool. As human beings, we're drawn to
5:45what we fully can't understand. It's why
5:46you develop crushes on people. A crush
5:49is built on a lack of information. It's
5:51you projecting what you want to see onto
5:54someone else. When you see that one boy
5:57in the hallway and he's so hunky and
5:59strong, he's got these massive biceps
6:01and you bet he's a gentleman and like
6:02he'll take you out, but you haven't
6:04talked to him once. Well, you know,
6:07you're projecting onto him. Pause. You
6:10are
6:12you're projecting onto him. I think the
6:14same thing goes to like horror movies.
6:15You ever notice that when they reveal
6:17the monster in a horror movie, all of a
6:19sudden it becomes less scary? That's
6:21because your brain fills in these gaps
6:23of mystery. Mystery has a biological
6:26effect on your brain. It entrances
6:28people and the less they give you, the
6:29more magnetic they become. To develop a
6:31cult-like following to lure people in
6:33when you enter a room, you're aiming for
6:35that furthest up utmost rightmost part
6:38of this three-dimensional graph
6:40simultaneously being the most authentic,
6:42being the most risky, and being the most
6:44mysterious. Doing this will naturally
6:46make you super cool. The people who
6:48water their personality down to be
6:49understood by everybody, those people
6:52aren't cool. The truth is the only way
6:54to be totally magnetic, to be totally
6:56cool, is to stop trying to be what what
6:58you think people want. Coolness isn't
7:00about bending into something so that
7:02people can digest you. Pause. It's about
7:04embracing yourself fully, speaking in
7:07your own language, keeping your edges
7:08sharp instead of sanding them down. The
7:10people around you who stand true to who
7:12they are, who don't dilute themselves
7:14for approval, are the ones who last.
7:16Those those are the ones who stay
7:17relevant and who stay cool. That's what
7:19makes them unforgettable.
7:21The coolest people in this world,
7:23they're the people who are
7:24unapologetically themselves, and that's
7:26what keeps them cool.
7:33Thank you so much for watching. I
7:35really, really appreciate it. Just
7:36finishing this video up right now. I'm
7:38in my room right now. Got some paintings
7:39right here. Got made this in fifth
7:41grade. That's my dad's. Um,
7:44if you want to support the channel,
7:46there'll be memberships right there. If
7:47not, you know, hit the sub button. I'll
7:49see you next week. I make videos every
7:50single week because it's uh super
7:53rewarding. I love doing it. Um I like
7:56I've always enjoyed writing and all that
7:58and um so this is a good way for me to
8:00to to make kind of like a visual essay.
8:02So I really really appreciate it. Um
8:04peace and love. I'll see you next week.