Full transcript
0:00[Music]
0:07everyone at Sam Evans here and you're
0:11watching consulting TV and on this
0:13channel we discuss everything to do with
0:16business and entrepreneurship and
0:18achieving wealth and success as well as
0:20like psychology and philosophy and how
0:23to work on your beliefs and your mindset
0:25because you know it's been my
0:26observation that you know the world's
0:29kind of become divided we think that you
0:31know mindset stuff is not important and
0:33it's all about business and there's a
0:35group of people who think it's all about
0:36mindset stuff and not to do with
0:38business and the truth is you really
0:40need to combine the two to really master
0:42business and achieve wealth and success
0:44and that's what we talk about on this
0:47channel and in today's video we're going
0:49to discuss something which we see come
0:52up a lot and that is how to deal with
0:55friends and family who are against you
0:58becoming an entrepreneur so you know if
1:00you decide you want to be an
1:01entrepreneur or if you decide you want
1:03to start a business and you have friends
1:05and family who kind of you've got
1:07conflict with they don't believe that
1:09your idea is right or they don't think
1:11you can do it or you know Pete or maybe
1:13it's not even friends and family maybe
1:15it's just random people who who are
1:17commenting on your stuff and thinking
1:19that you can't do it but how to really
1:21deal with those people and more than
1:23that like how to understand why they are
1:25saying the things that they're saying
1:27because once you understand why and once
1:29you understand the dynamics of how this
1:31happens it's very easy to see how it
1:33happens and avoid it all completely so
1:36that's what we're gonna discuss in this
1:37video today now a big question we see
1:42time and time again and there's a lot of
1:45resistance and this is a big hang-up for
1:47people is what how do I become an
1:51entrepreneur when my friends and my
1:53family are constantly against me
1:55and at war with it and they're really
1:56just knocking me down and it's ruining
1:58my confidence it's ruining my ability to
2:01start becoming an entrepreneur what do
2:04you say to those people figure out why
2:11figure out why why are they against you
2:16so they would go back and you would tell
2:20them to say hey Wyatt why are you
2:22against me and just ask that question
2:23and open the discussion and see what
2:24happens
2:25yeah like see what their reasoning is
2:27like in a few you know it's it's
2:31important to understand why for almost
2:33everything and I always wondered why why
2:35is everyone against me like I I had
2:39being I've been at University then I'd
2:42been at a at a corporate job I decided
2:45to quit move back home into my parents
2:48carrots and they're like you have to
2:49finish your degree they're like you now
2:51or you're a dropout and they're like
2:53what if your business doesn't work like
2:569 out of 10 businesses fail and like
2:58it's I don't what if you get you know
3:00don't get your hopes up too much and
3:02like I say men or how much how much
3:05other stuff is gonna be against me like
3:06my girlfriend at the time it's just like
3:08well no one no one like we know in our
3:11entire family has either like dropped
3:13out of college like I don't know if my
3:15parents will even agree with like your
3:17decision I was like what's like man
3:19where does all this come from like I was
3:22like maybe I am wrong but like can't you
3:25at least wait until you until you see if
3:28I am or not like how can you predict
3:30what's gonna happen in the future and so
3:33I really it took me a while to
3:36understand why and you know I I would
3:40encourage people to to just ask people
3:42and hear their reasoning and like just
3:45you know write it down like write down
3:46why people think that you shouldn't do
3:48it and then when you start to see that
3:51and when you start to see how like their
3:53reasons then it becomes really clear and
3:56it's because you go like people when
3:59they decide to become an entrepreneur
4:01and start a business they adopt a
4:03different belief system it's like you
4:06know it's it's it really is just like
4:08changing a religion or changing you know
4:12changing a political party like if you
4:14had or if you were always interested if
4:16your whole family believed in Trump it's
4:18like becoming interested in Hillary or
4:20if your whole family believes in Hillary
4:21it
4:21like becoming interested in Trump of
4:24course they're all gonna be against you
4:25because your belief contradicts their
4:27belief and so most people their belief
4:31is that the right way to live is to go
4:34to school go to college and didn't get a
4:37job and then work on your job and save
4:39and then buy a house and then get
4:41married and then retire someday and then
4:44die like that that's what most people
4:46think that like life is supposed to be
4:48this like that's hey love life and if
4:51you go against that then it's it's
4:54really like having clashing religions or
4:56clashing political preferences like your
4:58belief contradicts their belief and when
5:01two beliefs contradict then the only way
5:04they can validate each other is by like
5:06by saying one's wrong one's right and so
5:10it's really important to just understand
5:12why yeah and then when you understand
5:14why it's it's becomes really clear and
5:18then you just don't get into the
5:19arguments anymore and you just leave it
5:21alone
5:21like when I decided to become an
5:23entrepreneur I would always like preach
5:25to my family that they should all be
5:27entrepreneurs and being entrepreneur was
5:29the right way to be and that everyone
5:31who wasn't entrepreneur was wrong all
5:33right because I was like this is the
5:34right way I've found it clearly to the
5:36other side at that point yeah because I
5:39I needed people to be with me because I
5:41didn't have enough confidence and myself
5:42to stand alone and so you know I would
5:45try and like convert my friends I'd try
5:47and everyone I talked to I try and have
5:49these conversations with what and they
5:51would often be conversations which ended
5:53up in arguments because you know it was
5:56like who's right who's wrong and then
5:58when I see like when I really understood
6:00it all I was like why can't why don't I
6:03just leave it alone
6:04I can be their friend I can still be a
6:06member of their family and I can do what
6:08I want I can start my own business be an
6:10entrepreneur but I shouldn't attack them
6:12for having a job and if I don't do
6:14anything then probably they won't do
6:15anything and we just don't talk about it
6:17so I learned to only talk to
6:19entrepreneurship in business with
6:21business people and I would talk about
6:24normal things with like normal people if
6:27we call them that and so you know when I
6:30went out with my friends we just talked
6:32about normal stuff we wouldn't even talk
6:33about business
6:34and still to this day if my friends call
6:37me oh we hang out like it's just normal
6:39conversation and never talk about
6:40business at all if someone's really
6:42interested in talking about business
6:44I'll tell it to them but I don't force
6:46it down anyone's throat so I heard do
6:50you say something in that last part and
6:52it's when people go and they ask the
6:55question well why do you think I should
6:58not be an entrepreneur oftentimes people
7:01regurgitate that stat they've heard nine
7:03out of ten businesses fail and for some
7:05family members they just don't want to
7:07see you go through the pain because they
7:08know that that's the common stat what
7:11would you say to those people who who
7:14who face that challenge they're like
7:15well nine out of ten businesses fail
7:17what are you supposed to say to your
7:18parents who who question that and just
7:20want to save you from getting hurt
7:22I'll just say but how do you know - not
7:26that one
7:31it's a good answer but then people who
7:34say that to them the parents and I I
7:37think you're right I know you're headed
7:39but they're gonna be like well what if
7:41you are part of the nine right just to
7:43play devil's advocate that's that's
7:44probably how that conversation would go
7:46yeah but then you'd say well white why
7:48don't you believe in me that I could be
7:49that one like you know people people
7:54when they see they see numbers like that
7:57and they think that those numbers exist
8:00that way because like nine out of ten
8:03people try really hard and the truth is
8:06is that most of those nine like they
8:07never did anything well in my in my
8:10experience everyone who tries hard
8:13enough is exist for and the other people
8:16never really tried so it's a statistic
8:18which doesn't mean anything which like
8:21it's just been falsely analyzed like you
8:24see nine out of ten you think that like
8:26nine Richard Branson's like stepped up
8:28to the plate tried to do it and failed
8:30it's like it's like nine people like
8:32never even tried more than like one
8:34month and then the other guy he just
8:36stuck to it like I think anyone can be
8:39successful in business if they just
8:41stick to it long enough and try it's it
8:44just takes time it takes effort and then
8:47then the odds start to change like every
8:50day you you you're in business in your
8:52your trying things every day you pick up
8:55a book and you learn those odds starts
8:56decking and I think that once you reach
8:59a point the odds are like a hundred
9:00percent you're going to achieve
9:02something because it's just impossible
9:04for you not to once you understand the
9:06rules of the game once you have worked
9:08on yourself and you're you know you're
9:10motivated and you're you know you're
9:12taking action but there's no way that
9:14you can't be successful it's that's the
9:16way that's the way I see it hmm and how
9:19do you get that across the people
9:20because there always be excuses people
9:22always have something or just don't care
9:23about their opinion like that at the end
9:26of the day you're never going like if
9:27you convert them it's it's like it's
9:29going to be one hell of a job it'll
9:31probably be more of a job to convert
9:32them than it will be to be successful
9:33yourself so either way I saw it the way
9:37I still see it is like find out why and
9:41then you can see that it's like a belief
9:44it's a
9:44leaf our system and then like don't feel
9:47like you need to change their beliefs
9:49like they can believe whatever they want
9:50and the only way to really prove who's
9:53right and who's wrong is to just do it
9:55and be successful and come back be like
9:58I told you so
9:58or what I like to do is just don't even
10:00say anything because the success speaks
10:03louder than anything it does now did you
10:06find when you didn't have the support of
10:08your friends and family did you have to
10:10get in to say another entrepreneur group
10:13another another group of people that did
10:15believe in you and we're going through
10:16the same things yeah it was that was
10:20important I found like you know people
10:24throughout my journey like one of the
10:26best things I ever did the first best
10:28thing I did was buying some books and I
10:30know it sounds so basic it's like books
10:32you serious it's like yeah that's
10:34they're really good and that's actually
10:36how successful people get really smart
10:38they don't they're not born smart they
10:40just read more stuff than you and they
10:42learned more and so that's the first
10:46step by books second step would probably
10:47be by like a training program or go to a
10:53seminar or something because when you go
10:56to those things when you get into those
10:57groups you you meet other people and
11:00then you know you'll hear other people's
11:02stories and what's worked for them what
11:04hasn't worked for them and you know you
11:06find like a community of people and it's
11:09really encouraging when you start
11:10finding people who have like succeeded
11:13and what I strongly recommend is don't
11:16like don't be in any communities where
11:18people aren't succeeding like you need
11:20to leave those never join any groups or
11:23never be a part of anything where the
11:24people aren't winning but you want to be
11:26in ones where people are winning because
11:27that's that thing that someone said one
11:30time like you're the some average of
11:31five people you spend the most time with
11:33that there's a lot of truth to that and
11:35you want to be with winners and you want
11:38to be in a program which is winning and
11:41you want to read books which winners
11:43have read you don't want to read books
11:45and join programs we're like people who
11:47haven't won have used that stuff yeah
11:49yeah the worst thing you want to do is
11:51take a book recommendation from someone
11:53who
11:53not successful yeah or anything else for
11:56that matter typically they'll tell you
11:58like an xbox game or right into fear bug
12:01it wouldn't be a book at all but yeah
12:04that's that's kind of what I've seen too
12:06is because people will say well that's
12:09easy you know for you to say I'm not in
12:11a city that has a bunch of successful
12:13entrepreneurs I'm like well okay is
12:15there a library around you you know can
12:16you get access to books because they can
12:18be those people for you it's whoever you
12:21spend your time with or who have you're
12:22spending your time with reading and
12:24that's why the supplement it and
12:25obviously like live events I think are
12:27probably better to some degree but
12:31certainly most successful people are
12:34generally well-read there are exceptions
12:36but I would say that's been read is
12:39elitist readers are leaders mmm where'd
12:42that come from I have no idea
12:44yeah it's a good one I like do like that
12:48but yeah I mean that's that's basically
12:51how you could circumvent it I know the
12:53answer seems simple now that you've been
12:54through it but some people you know it's
12:57really hard for them because they
12:59respect the opinions of the people that
13:01they love them and bend their life so
13:02long but have you found like if someone
13:05is still after years still against you
13:09in that in that manner what do you do do
13:13you just I think that like the way the
13:15only way someone's ever against someone
13:17is a few judge thing so like if you
13:19judge other people and you think like
13:21they're the way they're living life is
13:23wrong then they're going to think that
13:25the way you live life is wrong and so I
13:27found that like I clashed with everyone
13:30when I was trying to clash with him you
13:32know I thought my way was right I
13:34thought the way that they were doing
13:35things was wrong and because I walked
13:38around like that and you spoke like that
13:40and everything then of course I came
13:43into conflict and I was also asking for
13:46their advice like they're going to give
13:48their advice based off their belief
13:49systems in their life they're not going
13:51to give me advice based off like what
13:54I'm doing so of course I'm gonna get
13:56advice that doesn't serve what I'm
13:57trying to do and you need to just let go
14:00of it like like I constantly used to
14:04talk to my friends and family about the
14:05sort of stuff
14:06and then I was just like why like why
14:09don't I talk to have my business people
14:11for talking to business stuff then I
14:12have my friends for talking about just
14:14friend stuff and I've just I just
14:16separated the two and if a friend wanted
14:18to talk about business stuff fine
14:19we would but I would never try and like
14:22you know force this upon them and that's
14:25when it just all stopped and still to
14:26this day like I don't think a lot of my
14:28friends or family know what I even do
14:30and they have no idea really and it's
14:33totally fine but I would tell them if
14:34they were interested but if they're not
14:36interested I don't care like most of the
14:39time people are trying to force a
14:40message on like deaf ears you know right
14:43yeah so do you ever do you ever have
14:46being in the position of success that
14:48you've had especially the early age do
14:50you have friends that reached out then
14:52that weren't previously interested now
14:54they've become interested because we
14:56like about 15% 15% I didn't have a mini
15:00friend so it was like I had a small
15:01group of friends which we have really
15:03good friends with which was about 10 12
15:06people and Sony like 2 or 3 ya know for
15:11a lot of people 2 is when you get that
15:13success it's a lot of people do it to
15:15prove people wrong right they they want
15:17to be successful because they want to
15:18prove people wrong but I think that the
15:21best combination is when you're doing it
15:22for yourself and maybe to prove people
15:24wrong - it's a secondary motivation as
15:27far as as far as that goes because yeah
15:29if you do get flack in the beginning it
15:32can feel good and probably should be
15:34celebrated to be able to to some degree
15:36feel like you have proven people wrong
15:38yeah I think there's got to be a deeper
15:40reason than just proving people wrong
15:42also you could win in like they might
15:45still think that you're wrong like it's
15:47a silly thing to do you should base your
15:49decisions off you like you I just wanted
15:52to impress myself like I I wanted to
15:56stick it to some people who said I
15:57couldn't but for the most part I just
15:59wanted to satisfy me like because I had
16:02always told myself I can't do anything
16:03and then so you know I just wanted to
16:06prove that may like maybe I can and I
16:09just wanted to satisfy myself and I
16:11wanted to get into a competition with
16:13myself every day how can I get better
16:15every day you know how can I get you
16:18know better at this and satisfy myself
16:20and
16:20to be at each night feeling happier so
16:22knowing that how do you determine your
16:24growth how do you know you're growing
16:25each and every day what's your process
16:27for measuring that and making sure that
16:29you are on that path you know you want
16:33to constantly be improving and like
16:35growing as a person like financially
16:38with health with everything and I I've
16:42always I've always said that there's no
16:44such thing as staying still in life
16:46you're either moving forward or you're
16:48falling backwards so like I don't think
16:50you can just just maintain a flat line
16:54but if you think you're just maintaining
16:56then you're really losing and so you're
16:58either climbing up or you're falling
17:00down and so you know you've got to have
17:03something to chase like you've got to
17:05have a carrot in front of you know on a
17:07stick in front of you all at all that at
17:09all times and I like to just put that as
17:11a better version of me so I'm always
17:14chasing me in one year me and three
17:16years me in ten years and I'm chasing
17:18that and I'm trying to I'm trying to
17:20become that person and and when you set
17:25out to make those targets I know that
17:28you said you re examine yourself each
17:30and every day and that's kind of how you
17:31you you look at it you look at your
17:33vision board you see what your goals are
17:35and then you kind of adjust accordingly
17:37now is there specific do you ever take
17:40those big goals and separate them into
17:42like two little things like in order to
17:43get to this goal this is what I need to
17:45do today to become a better person this
17:46is what I need to become do tomorrow
17:49etc etc yeah I mean the main thing is
17:53that you sit like some sort of vision
17:54like this is where I want to be in one
17:56year this Rhona be in five years and
17:58whatever and then you want to kind of
18:00break that out in two months and then
18:02you can break it out in two weeks and
18:04then you can break it in two days and I
18:07mean one thing I've always said is that
18:09you can have a bad day but you can never
18:13have a bad week and so like you know
18:16sometimes you fall off sometimes you
18:18might break your habits and stuff but
18:19it's all about the average it's all
18:21about like the consistency and provided
18:23your weeks alike all on track and
18:25provided your months are on track then
18:27you should always become the the person
18:30which you're aiming for you've just got
18:32to make sure that you don't
18:34they have more than one bad day mmm yeah
18:38because that can snowball pretty quick
18:39one day becomes to two days becomes a
18:41week week becomes a month month becomes
18:43a year just like that it's gone yeah
18:45interesting so it kind of any last
18:48summary for people who are still dealing
18:50with with family issues and need to let
18:53go what what would be the first thing
18:54you would consider ask ask them why and
18:56don't like attack just just ask what
18:59like a lot of the time people who voice
19:01are concerned they just want to be heard
19:02so I'd listen to them and I just write
19:05it down on it and then I would analyze
19:07it and look at why are these people
19:09saying this ok well it's because this is
19:11what they believe to be true and these
19:14things are their beliefs and what I am
19:17saying opposes their beliefs and so if I
19:20try and say these things are true then
19:22it means that they have to agree that
19:24what they're believing in is a lie right
19:26and it's very hard for someone to do and
19:28so it's you don't want to like you don't
19:32want to have conflict with your family
19:33you don't want to do anything in the way
19:36to do that is just to be quiet about it
19:38don't ask for their opinion because
19:41often your family isn't going to give
19:42you any good opinions and you know don't
19:45ask your friends for their opinion
19:47either like I whenever I ask my family
19:50or my friends for their opinion it was
19:52all I always got something bad and it's
19:54because they didn't believe what I
19:56believed and it's because they weren't
19:57living the like the life and the vision
20:01which I had like they were 9 to 5
20:04employees and they believed in
20:05qualifications and you know traditional
20:08jobs and I was out a dropout living in a
20:11garage trying to create something new so
20:14when I learned there I just lifted alone
20:16and I if I wanted to talk about business
20:19and just and you know just talk like
20:21crazy about business stuff I would save
20:23that for my business friends and I just
20:26just keep it quiet
20:27and if someone says something bad but
20:29just don't listen to them like you know
20:31if Warren Buffett calls you out Penny's
20:33got some advice and it's negative I
20:34probably listen to that but if some
20:36random person who doesn't know anything
20:38or most importantly if some broke person
20:40has some advice and they think they're
20:42wrong they think you're wrong don't
20:44listen to them
20:45but listen to people who are very
20:46successful and very wealthy but don't
20:49listen to people who wear your out or
20:51worse below because their their advice
20:54is really what you should go against not
20:56what you should listen to
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