Full transcript
0:00okay today I'm going to show you how to run the perfect first date now the reason why this is important for me to deliver to you is because nobody has failed on first dates more than me I've had to do this from the ground up and the reason why I really want you to internalize these truths and listen to
0:16me on this one is because not only have we put now 525 guys together in this movement but I'm getting guys saying things like this the other day one of the guys goes I've had more success in the past two weeks than I've had in the last two years years so because I've done first dates hundreds of times
0:33because I've had to learn from the ground up what to do versus what not to do I'm going to show you the exact steps that a guy has to take in order to make sure that she likes you she's laughing the whole time and she wants to keep seeing you this is very important and this took me 10 years to like discover
0:48when I tell you that I put almost every single day into this for the past 10 years literally 10 years from ages 18 to 28 improving my dating life figuring out how to navigate female nature and the language of women this is why I'm able to put things into such a step-by-step process for you so let's dive in okay this is going to take
1:09me a little bit of time to dissect but I'm going to write down all of the things that I do and all the things that I even notice that I do consciously and subconsciously on these dates to help myself get the best chances of success so first off step one okay and keep in mind I'm actually drawing from
1:26conclusions of like past dates that I had so like the date that I'm referring to is probably from like a couple weeks ago specifically there was a lot of different attraction mechanisms I was using and working in my favor to make this work so the first thing that I would recommend do not try to plan dates don't try to plan okay boyfriends
1:49plan things guys who are already attracting women and already have dating options say let's go do this now hey let's go to this restaurant right now hey let's go to this coffee shop now Sushi question mark now question mark send that's how guys who actually have options talk and text message so that's
2:11step one do not plan anything so the other day when I was on a date I text her that morning I said brunch right now question mark and she goes like right now right now and I go yeah right now send and then I picked the location and we met up so step one do not plan anything planning stuff looks like you
2:30don't necessarily have high status or things going on it looks like you are really trying to set this up to make sure that she likes you so don't do that so number two what is the mindset you have the entire time on the first date or on a date in general the mindset that you have on these dates is you are
2:47demonstrating value the whole time you are coming right out of the gate demonstrating as many attraction mechanisms and masculinity characteristics as possible everything that you you have working for you in your favor make sure you you put it in your favor the clothes you wear okay you want to obviously demonstrate looks potential money or resources potential
3:09status you want to make sure you look good you pick the right clothes you're charming and captivating that day all of those things go into it so the mindset is you are demonstrating as much survival value as humanly possible the entire time so that way you're satisfying hypergamy that's step two step two is purely just getting your
3:27mind on point now step three let me give you an example of what to do when I got actually I'm not even going to call this step three this is just a preliminary step in case this happens so some of you you're going to set a date and you're going to get to that restaurant or you're going to get to that place and
3:46they're going to put you on a wait list and they're going to say hey yes we can have your table ready for you but it's going to be 30 minutes okay so from there now you have time where you're going to have to figure out something to do so I'll give you an example of what I did because this is exactly what
3:58happened to me I got there my date showed up and then we get to the front desk and they say yes we'll have your table ready in 25 minutes okay cool so I was like okay here's what we can do I was like We'll Walk downtown a little bit through some of these shops because there's different men's clothing stores
4:13and different clothing stores in general that was kind of around us so I wanted to do that because it's something to do so active masculinity now we're walking we're walking and talking to get to know each other you're not stagnant just sitting there passively now you're walking okay but here's where you need to be saving disposable income I'm going
4:33to tell you this a lot of the attraction mechanisms that I tend to try and demonstrate that helps a woman feel safe when she's with you is showing potential resources or resource potential and it doesn't have to be anything super expensive right you just have to show abundance if I buy five chocolate bars and I show a woman that I want to try
4:54every flavor what she sees is five chocolate bars it's only 10 bucks but she sees five of them so most guys they're just going to buy the one flavor that they tell themselves I'm going to try this one if I say I want all of them to sample she sees abundance she sees a guy who's not in scarcity you only had
5:10to spend $10 and it's moving mountains for you because it comes from a point of options it's all part of frame so I'm going to show you how this ties into frame through the whole first date so when I had to walk through these shops what I instantly wanteded to do so things don't get stale I wanted to find some clothes
5:27that I liked so when I went through all these shops there was a pair of pajama pants and they had cactuses on them so I bought a pair so now um buying a pair of pants it's resources okay it shows like I'm willing to spend money on myself women like to see that and the whole tone of voice the whole time is like oh
5:47feel how soft these are right these are so soft and she's giggling at them because I'm a grown man wearing pajamas that have cactuses on them she thinks it's hilarious so now we're focusing on the vibe the energy she's feeling the pants it's funny all of that stuff is important okay so that's what you want to do if they say hey you're on a wait
6:04list is you want to get out of the location and typically most restaurants will send you a text message update when your table's ready perfect go get out of that scene or that situation and go walk and go get to know the girl on the go way better okay now step number three when you sit down at that table when you
6:22get served I don't care if it's coffee if it's coffee you say oh my gosh I'm so tired I'm so tired I need this caffeine I need this caffeine and she laughs because she just thinks it's funny if it's food you sit down you say oh my God I'm so hungry oh I can't wait to eat oh
6:37my God I'm going to eat all of the food in here whatever you want to say is fine what I'm getting at is this they want to watch a guy eat and they laugh at quantity they laugh at quantity and volume of food I have tested this if I skipped lunch and I have dinner plans with a girl and I order two double-sized
6:56bacon cheeseburgers and let's say an appetizer and she watches me eat all of it and all of the fries she is laughing the whole time that I'm able to eat two meals they giggle they laugh it's instant like almost dad energy because sometimes dad likes to just sit down and eat they love it they laugh the whole
7:15time so you order options and you make sure that you tell her that you're hungry and you lean into that because it's funny and it's masculine now step number four now here's the funniest thing about this too actually before we get into step number four the funniest thing about this is if you have your together in life you make good
7:32money and she sees you're willing to let loose like this like you're still a kid at heart that is going to work so many brownie points in your favor she sees you're not structured and rigid and corporate she sees you still have a personality that's funny and light-hearted so important step four abundance and options so what I do when
7:53we sit down as I say oh have you ever been here before I haven't been here before maybe she has maybe she hasn't it doesn't matter here's what I tell her say I like abundance or I tell her I like options I like I like to have options of food I go here's what we're going to do we and notice I'm leading
8:06this we are going to just order a bunch of a bunch of I'll tell her we're going to order a bunch of stuff even look at the way I'm saying it we're just going to order a bunch of stuff let's just start picking and I like maybe we'll Scoot a little closer to her and we'll share a menu and I'm like oh we're
8:20going to get this so let's say it's like a breakfast place or a brunch spot oh we're going to get this omelet and then we're going to get these cheesecake pancakes oh my God look at this friend toast we got to try this French toast too oh my gosh they have a these waffles oh they're banana waffles oh my gosh we
8:35got to get banana waffles right so now I'm like okay we just picked four things you're going to see why I I will pick four or five meals and maybe just take the rest home or just let it go because I'll show you this in a second this comes down to abundance this comes down to resources and this comes down to
8:51options because I'm willing to spend a whopping 3030 extra dollars on a couple more meals which isn't that much keep that in mind it's not not like you have to break the bank here you have to just show you're willing to spend a little bit of money because now she sees abundance of calories she sees a guy who
9:06likes food naturally she's going to like food because everybody likes food she sees you're not cheap she sees you're not trying to take shortcuts and just get by she sees a man who's coming from a place of no scarcity she sees a man who's coming from a place of abundance and a guy who's willing to invest into
9:24her and into that date financially which is going to help her Trust your judgment because you're checking a lot of boxes that tend to help a woman analyze your survival value okay so that's next step number four you're going to order a bunch of food to show no scarcity and abundance of options now step five this
9:45is important why did we do that there's a second reason why we order a bunch of food we order all of it for both of you okay so you now you get to order for her and yourself meaning you lead all of it you lead the whole interaction so this is one thing that I struggled with really hard when I
10:07would see other content creators over the years talk about this there's other content creators I've seen and they go when you're on a first date just order for the woman that you're with and even pick out the meal for her and I thought that was complete because I'm like okay number one what if she doesn't like the food and she just feels as if
10:24she has to go along with this just cuz I thought number two it seems really try hard like you need to almost micromanage and control every little detail and number three I just thought that it seemed really like fake almost like it was like when I would hear that because here's the thing I would test some of these things or
10:45debate testing it on a date and like what I call it for myself is I call it my own internal cringe radar I have a very good one I know when something is not on point and the vibe is off and when something is on point and the vibe is on so I would hear these things and I'd be
11:02on a date and I'm like man there's no way I'm comfortable doing that I'm not going to say oh you know you're going to get the grilled cheese and tomato soup and I'm going to get you know the cheeseburger and it's like well what if she doesn't want that or like that and yeah sure you showed that you have you
11:15know enough leadership capability to make that decision but it's like for what she could also look at the menu and be like you know I'm really in the mood for french toast instead so how do I get around that how do I make sure I'm still leading how do I make sure I'm still ordering for the both of us so that way
11:30she almost just gets to sit back and enjoy the show enjoy the date without thinking too much I order for both of us but I make sure there's a bunch of options so my energy when we are picking out the food on the menu is I want to make it feel like we're a couple I want to make it feel like we're together so
11:46we're looking at one menu together I'm like oh we're going to get the French H and we're going to get the pancakes oh doesn't that omelet look good and she goes oh yeah that look that that looks so good that omelette looks so good I go okay we're going to get the Omelette too oh look at these cheesy hash browns I
11:59think we should get these cheesy hash browns too and then she goes oh yeah I'll try those too well okay cool there's like three four things here on the menu that she's like yeah I'm going to try well okay naturally she's taken care of so now it's not try hard now it's not like you're trying to micromanage the situation and all I had
12:15to do was spend an extra 30 35 bucks well who gives a crap if that's what it took to make sure that I get a second date and more opportunities to see her that is way better than just buying one meal each missing a lot of these things that I'm showing you and then she doesn't want to see you afterwards and
12:31then you wasted the money anyways because you bought a meal for both of you and then she doesn't want to see you after well it's better to spend just a little bit extra to go above and beyond to show that you actually care and give a about the girl instead of acting like you know you don't care about her
12:45like it's better to just overinvestment she's going to love seeing that so I order for both of us so then when the server comes back I'm like I I'll order
13:05for both of us we're just going to share a bunch of food so we're going to get this and this and this and this and this and the server is writing all this down smiling and laughing and a lot of times the girl will be smiling and laughing too because it's just so much quantity of food a lot of times the girl will
13:19even take a picture of all the food and show her friends because she thinks it's awesome that a guy is investing in her that way so that's number five okay remove the ego control of thinking you need to order the meal for her and then it's so rigid no order the meal for both of you but make it multiple options so
13:35it feels natural don't try to do stuff that's not accustomed to your personality because if you pick a meal that she doesn't like it might come off kind of weird that you didn't just let things happen the way it should when you're ordering okay so that's number five now number six this is important too and I actually discovered this one
13:53by accident but I realized that it was actually good so towards the end of one of my dates I had to go to the bathroom once but see I didn't want to make it so that way the girl would have to pay but I really had to go to the bathroom so I didn't know what to do so I was like I
14:09just pulled out my credit card and I gave it to the girl and I'm like if our server comes make sure that you take care of this or make sure that uh were paid up something like that or I said you can give her this well what did this do this one happened by accident I was like oh my gosh so when I came back I
14:24noticed she was really happy about that because it signaled trust it almost made her feel like we are a couple right and now it's like I'm transitioning my resources of my credit card to her and putting enough trust in her even though I don't necessarily know her to a super high level yet but it shows it like hey
14:44you know even though I'm going to the bathroom I'm still competent enough to think about the future to not put you in a state where you're going to now have to pay for us and make me look bad so it shows competency it shows that you're thinking ahead it shows that your brain is proper ly thinking about these
15:00things and she likes that so this totally made her smile so now I I would do this a lot or if I have to go to the bathroom I'm going to just give her my card because it looks like what you're actually signaling is you're signaling a lot of Competency there you're basically saying hey I understand as a man it's my
15:18job to pay for the date I understand that that's going to help her feel taken care of I understand that she's going to like how that feels so even though I have to go to the bathroom right now and it's at the end of the date my brain is still thinking about this in a way where if the bill comes I'm not going to put
15:32her in a position where she has to pay I'm just going to take care of it that's what you're doing is you're signaling competency now number seven when you leave a tip on the bill right so when you leave gratuiti leave 30 to 50% yes leave 30 to 50% leave a really big tip because it shows abundance and
15:52it shows status it shows that you don't care it shows that you're not cheap women do not like cheap men women do not like guys who feel as if they need to hoard their money and not share displays of not caring or displays of resources in any way shape or form right if you go
16:13to the checkout buy all five chocolate bars if you go on the date you buy five meals for both of you whatever the case may be I know that some of you are going to type in the comments right now and go I don't want to do that or I don't like that that's fine more options for me I
16:25guess like you got to understand how women look at at these things they look at a guy who's not in scarcity so when you also see or when you also show that you're willing to give a 30 to 50% tip she's going to sit there and go wow he's generous if he's willing to invest in a stranger like that he's probably willing
16:43to invest in me like that if I were to be with him she's sitting there going our kids would probably be taken care of because this man is not going to hoard all of the resources for himself so all of these little things I'm telling you the way that I make sure that these dates go good and that they want to keep
17:00coming back is I make sure to show that I'm willing to invest in them which is why they are willing to invest in me now here's where this gets good these other couple steps are important so that way she doesn't feel as if you're trying to do this just to pay for stuff to win her over because framing is everything so
17:17number eight here's the funniest thing about this when the date is over and you walk out okay no hugs goodbye on the date there's even sometimes where there will be so much tension between us in a good way like good emotional tension where we're walking out of the restaurant and she's trying to poke fun at me and I'll play back and I'll poke
17:40fun at her you know if I said things like uh yeah you know I all the other uh everybody online or all of the online videos I've seen everybody says you know don't don't trust the the girl in the red dress right don't trust the woman in the red dress I don't know if I can trust you whatever the case may be play
17:57back with her a little bit have that good Dynamic so I'm doing a lot of this verbally but what I'm going to tell you is this no hugs goodbye on the date I am creating space physically so all of this is going down verbally but I'm sitting away so that way she can't necessarily gauge my interest level so when you guys
18:18leave that restaurant or when you guys leave that date No hugs goodbye you're creating space okay and what you can even do on the date is you can play around where you're laughing you're joking maybe you're poking fun at other people or you guys have little inside jokes about what's going on around your circumstance and around your situation
18:38and the environment that you're in all of those little things make her feel good it makes her feel some sort of emotional pull towards you but here's the thing number eight No hugs goodbye and then on top of that since I show that I'm willing to invest in her but I don't necessarily need a hug goodbye I
18:56don't need to ask her when I'm going to see her the next time is any of that stuff number nine then step nine is I just say goodbye right I go all right well I'll catch you later that's it casual all right I'll catch you later it was nice meeting you that's it no it was great meeting you no I can't wait to see
19:13you again no oh when are you free next none of that I say goodbye great meeting you and then I leave why because guess what happens then she can't necessarily gauge your interest level she's going to say well does he invest in all First Dates like like this does he treat all of his first dates this way did he
19:32invest in me and pay for five meals like this because he really likes me or is this just the way he lives she's going to go is he wealthy is he of high status does he have a lot of abundance mentality why is he willing to do all this for me but now he doesn't even ask when he's going to see me again she
19:48can't see your interest level she can't read your interest level so by you just saying bye and I'll see you later you would be surprised how many women as soon as they drive home 30 minutes go by and they will send you a text message that says had so much fun on the date can't wait to see you again
20:05next or next weekend if you're free you are my first priority to go get drinks with or she will say thank you so much for the date I had an amazing time smiley face and she will initiate the contact First and I have seen this happen within 20 to 30 minutes after leaving I've even seen this within 5
20:21minutes after leaving and she gets in her car she instantly will start thanking me for the date and how great of a time she had because you have to understand women today it's very very hard for them to find masculine men who know what they're doing and I'm not just talking about masculine men as in you have big muscles and you have a beard
20:36I'm talking about masculinity in all of the elements I just taught you today coming from abundance coming from a place of survival value coming from a spot where you're showing that you're willing to share resources showing that you're not cheap showing that you're willing to invest in her all of these little things matter so that's how I do
20:55it and then she can't read your interest level because she doesn't know if it was good or not because you didn't give her a hug goodbye and all you said was all right I'll catch you later you didn't try to set a second date so now she wants to see you again and she goes well whoo he was willing to invest in me like
21:07that I better make sure I win him over on a personality level so he wants to see me more and this is how you run a perfect first date this right here has done more for me than any other tactic or any other uh what's the other word for tactic strategy that any other content creator I've ever heard over the
21:24years this right here showing abundance showing that you're not in scarcity showing that you're willing to invest in her bringing good survival value to the table and then creating space on the date so you're not super close and she has a reason to want to like scoot next to you a little bit so yeah keep that in
21:39mind this is how I run it if you like this video hit the like button comment and subscribe and we'll see you in the next one