Full transcript
0:00You never ever wanted to be healed.
0:05I want to feel healed. I just I just
0:07want to be, you know,
0:09>> [music]
0:09>> I want to stop uh
0:11I want to stop running. I can feel where
0:13I'm not taking [music] care of myself
0:15and I'm I'm eating food that makes me
0:17sick. It's a self-soothing like five,
0:19six times in a day.
0:21And then I have all this shame around
0:23it.
0:24>> What I want you to realize, Philip, none
0:26of those are the problem. They are the
0:28[music] solution.
0:30I just want to be happy. Your nature is
0:32freedom. But you're psychologically,
0:35emotionally telling yourself that you
0:36can't do something, then because of our
0:39nature of freedom, the inclination is
0:42towards that. That's the frustrating
0:44thing is that I'm I'm having this new
0:45awareness and I have moments where I
0:47feel bliss and beauty and I write these
0:49songs and everything makes sense. Most
0:53human beings in their identity are
0:55defined by something they're not. I'm
0:57not good enough. I'm not loved.
1:02I'm not valued. I feel the one of the
1:04most pivotal moments that has defined
1:07Philip's persona is
1:13Dude, I'm just I'm cracking up, man.
1:15When I when I got the email from
1:17Cambria,
1:19I brought my whole family and all the
1:21kids and I read the email and my
1:2311-year-old was like, "Dad, you're about
1:26to get crowned.
1:28For real." And that's what we say in our
1:30house and we'll watch highlights and
1:32I'll be like, "Babe, come watch this
1:33Danica Patrick. She's about to get
1:35crowned. Watch this."
1:36And my my daughter my 14-year-old be
1:38like, "She got crowned. Get crowned."
1:41It's like a thing in our house.
1:45I love it. It sounds like you have a lot
1:47of fun in that house. I'm really really
1:49I'm just touched and flattered that
1:51uh my work has meant that much to you.
1:53You obviously have such a a spirit. I
1:56know you're not without your challenges
1:57and we'll get to that today and I I
1:59appreciate the video you submitted which
2:01everybody does, you know, prior to
2:03coming on the on the show and I just
2:06feel
2:07very fortunate that
2:09you know
2:10such lovely beautiful bright souls like
2:13yourself have found my work and it's
2:16it's helped in whatever way it has and
2:18let's see if we can't do a little bit of
2:20fine-tuning, shall we? Yeah, dude. Yeah.
2:23Please, dude. And I I definitely love
2:26the fact that your kids are using the
2:27expression you got croned.
2:31Yeah. They're like get croned, Dad. Get
2:33croned. This is going to be a one off.
2:36Yeah. on YouTube and my son will be like
2:40get croned. Get croned. Get croned.
2:43We're now going to have to start a
2:44hashtag. #gotcroned. Yes, dude. It's
2:48like not got milk, but it's got
2:49[laughter] croned. Got croned.
2:51Yeah, dude. Amazing. I've gone on so
2:54many walks with you, bro, just listening
2:56to every podcast I can get my hands on.
2:59I think I first heard you on the know
3:01thyself.
3:02Oh, yeah. Okay.
3:04>> 90 seconds in, dude, I've been looking.
3:07I've been looking.
3:09>> [clears throat]
3:09>> I've been looking, man.
3:11And
3:12uh then I find you who's like yeah
3:17it's not outside of you and I'm LIKE UH
3:19GOSH.
3:22IT'S JUST BEEN AMAZING, DUDE, for 2
3:24years now just going on walks and
3:26listening to your podcasts, your
3:28interviews
3:29and and I teach a home school group that
3:32I volunteered to teach and I work with
3:34the homeless and I just and I speak at
3:36schools and I've been trying to teach
3:38your teachings and I've been trying to
3:41convey what you convey
3:43and
3:44yeah, so this is just a gift. So, thank
3:48you.
3:49Well, thank you. You are clearly a very
3:51beautiful joyous spirit and I think this
3:54is going to be a wonderful conversation.
3:56Thank you
3:57for the kind words. Thank you for
3:58including me in your family, in your
4:00community, the work that you do with
4:01others. Obviously it shows the size of
4:03your heart. And um
4:06I know that you're a musician and one of
4:08the things that
4:09really touched me about the video you
4:11submitted is that you said
4:13your motto and see see if I can remember
4:16it cuz I know you're very kind in the
4:18way you remember my quotes, but it's
4:19like if nobody loves you, I do or
4:21something like that. Yeah, if no one
4:23else loves you, I do. That's my motto.
4:25>> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's that's
4:27pretty damn evident from the start of
4:29this conversation. So
4:31um I've got a little inclination that
4:34maybe just maybe some of that love
4:37could be potentially redirected towards
4:40yourself, but let's see how we do. Does
4:42that make sense? Yeah, that does make
4:44sense. Yeah.
4:45>> Yeah.
4:46So tell me I I for the you know,
4:48beautiful millions of people out there
4:50in the world who hopefully your story
4:52will touch cuz this video and all of
4:54these episodes just seem to be getting
4:56exponentially
4:58more uh
4:59um
5:00momentum, which is really touching cuz I
5:02know it's changing people's lives and I
5:04just want to first of all acknowledge
5:06you for
5:07coming on here, wanting to have a
5:08conversation and share your story cuz as
5:10human beings I believe that one of the
5:12things
5:13uh that changes
5:15um
5:16our lives more than anything is learning
5:18and vicariously experiencing other
5:21people's stories, woes, and
5:22breakthroughs.
5:23So give for myself as a refresher bit, I
5:26just watched your video again and the
5:29viewing audience just a little bit of uh
5:32you know, background on Phillip and the
5:33things you struggle with cuz I know like
5:35all of us it hasn't been that easy.
5:38Yeah, thank you, man. Thank you. Um
5:41I've honestly had like a magical life,
5:43bro.
5:44Um
5:45I've had so many miracles in my life, so
5:48many good things happen.
5:51Um
5:51>> Yeah.
5:52And uh
5:53and which is kind of been the
5:54frustrating part of this healing journey
5:56is
5:58being aware that with Anyways.
6:01Yeah, so when I was really little, we
6:02were in a car accident. I was 19 months
6:04old. Well, with me and my couple of of
6:06my brothers and our mom passed in that
6:08car accident.
6:10Your brothers passed, too? Or no, they
6:11were okay?
6:13Just my mom. My baby brother was in the
6:15front seat. He was 6 months old. This
6:17was back in '91, so the the seating laws
6:20were different. And he had serious brain
6:22damage, so he was
6:24They thought he'd be a vegetable. I
6:26mean, he's a whole miracle story, but he
6:28was really badly damaged. We He stayed
6:31in the hospital when we went to Oklahoma
6:33to bury mom. Mhm.
6:36And uh I don't remember
6:39the car accident now,
6:41but my mom who adopted me told me that I
6:44would tell her what happened in the car
6:45and that
6:47um
6:48you know,
6:50that mom's head was down and that her
6:51eyes were like blinking a lot. And so I
6:55don't remember that, but for a time, I
6:57guess I remembered it cuz my mom who
6:59adopted me would say, "Yeah, you would
7:01you told me this happened." And
7:03I do remember going to court because we
7:05had to demonstrate that we could
7:06unbuckle ourselves cuz that was part of
7:08the court proceedings was why were the
7:10kids unbuckled? And you know, the other
7:12side trying to find fault with
7:15with our mom, I guess.
7:17So that was an experience and then my
7:19dad remarried.
7:21And the woman he had married he married
7:23adopted me and my brothers. Mhm. Um
7:26she's an amazing woman.
7:28Um but it was really difficult
7:31in that household cuz my my dad had five
7:34boys and then his wife passed and he
7:36remarries and he he adopted his new
7:39wife's daughter who became my sister.
7:41And she adopted me and my brothers. And
7:44then they had two more daughters
7:45together. So there was eight kids total.
7:47>> Wow. Okay. And I'm the fifth
7:49>> you and you and two You were the
7:51youngest?
7:52No, I was the fourth of the five boys.
7:54>> Oh, I got it. Got it. Okay.
7:56But [clears throat] but you're So when
7:57the car accident, there were two
7:59brothers and the other two were just at
8:00home or school or whatever.
8:01>> One was at school and one was with a
8:03babysitter, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So
8:05carry on. So big family. Yeah, big
8:07family and you know, um
8:11my mom and my dad did the best they
8:13could. I mean, I look back and they're
8:14just My dad's so hard working. He was a
8:17bishop in our church from when I was in
8:19kindergarten to high school. Mhm. Always
8:22working. My mom always making sure we
8:25had meals and I always had birthday
8:27presents and Christmas presents and new
8:29clothes for school.
8:31Um but as I look back on my on my
8:33childhood,
8:35it was beautiful and I had a great
8:37childhood, but I know looking back when
8:39I was a kid, I was very scared a lot.
8:42Um
8:43There is There was physical abuse in the
8:45home.
8:46Um
8:48When I was three and a half or four, um
8:52there was an experience with my mom
8:54where I was pushed down the stairs and
8:56my collarbone broke.
8:58Um by your mom by the Okay. Yeah, by by
9:01yeah, by my mom. So the physical abuse
9:03came from the parents, older brothers,
9:05both? Yeah, from my mom, yeah. Okay.
9:09Okay. Sorry. Um No, that's okay.
9:12Uh
9:13And uh I just I remember I mean, there's
9:16so many there's so many good things to
9:17remember, too. Like But I I went to bed.
9:20I I remember I'd wake up cold. Sometimes
9:22I'd wrap up in the in the uh
9:26um
9:27It's okay.
9:30It's okay.
9:33I remember waking up in the middle of
9:34the night a lot looking for something
9:36dry to sleep in. So, I tried either the
9:39shower curtain or
9:41um like we had this cover on our couch
9:43that was too big for the couch. So,
9:45sometimes I'd go wrap up in that.
9:47Um
9:49Yeah. Really just a you know, a busy
9:51life, a lot of things, a lot of great
9:52things in life. Like my childhood was
9:54beautiful in so many ways.
9:56But, I do remember as a kid just kind of
9:59surviving and um
10:01Yeah. hungry a lot. Um
10:04One time I had snuck, this crazy drawer
10:07where we'd put leftover
10:08um ketchup packets or barbecue sauce
10:11packets from McDonald's. Mhm. And one
10:14time I had gotten caught sneaking those
10:17in the bathroom and I would eat eat the
10:19barbecue sauce and I'd put it in the
10:21laundry hamper.
10:23>> [laughter]
10:25>> Good luck What better way to destroy the
10:27evidence?
10:28>> Yeah, I mean, just genius.
10:30>> [laughter]
10:32>> Uh and I got in pretty big trouble for
10:34that. Um Yeah, especially if it was with
10:36the whites.
10:37>> [laughter]
10:39>> Yeah.
10:40Barbecue sauce.
10:42>> [laughter]
10:42>> Yeah.
10:43Um we grew up I grew up in a Mormon home
10:46which had had its beautiful parts in so
10:49many ways, you know.
10:50>> Mhm. Um but definitely a lot of high
10:53standards. Yeah. Um
10:56The other thing that was that was really
10:58difficult when I was 13, looking back
11:01now I can see what was happening. I was
11:02being groomed by a woman
11:05uh in her 40s
11:07um who was Just a friend of the family
11:09or Yeah. [snorts]
11:11Okay. And she would touch me
11:14um
11:16and then it it eventually led when I was
11:1814, there was a um
11:20a a sexual experience Mhm. that I I
11:24didn't I didn't understand as a
11:2514-year-old. Yeah. She went and
11:28confessed to our local church leaders
11:31and they brought me in
11:33and I was put on what's called
11:35probation.
11:36So, I wasn't allowed to take the
11:38sacrament. I wasn't allowed to pray in
11:41public.
11:42Um
11:44So, I just remember feeling really sick.
11:46Like, I didn't want to eat.
11:47Um
11:49I just felt really guilty.
11:51Um
11:53Uh
11:55And then uh
11:56and then I went on a mission for my
11:57church.
11:59Mhm. Um cuz I really believed it. I I I
12:03really felt like and I can see now where
12:06by doing things in the church, it would
12:08get the approval of my community, my
12:11parents, my family. Yeah. Um and I gave
12:15it everything I had and I and I and I
12:16believed in it and I really felt like
12:18the best thing I can do for the world is
12:20go knock doors and help people and give
12:22them this message. And
12:25um it was on my mission where I first
12:27hurt my back. And it wasn't even a big
12:29deal. I was just jumping over a ditch
12:31and I felt something in my back and I
12:33came home and I had my first back
12:35surgery.
12:36Um
12:37And then,
12:39you know, I I married my high school
12:40sweetheart. We have a beautiful family.
12:43Mhm. And I I joined the army when I was
12:4630.
12:48And um I came home from army training
12:51and then I decided to quit my job cuz I
12:53realized I was miserable and I started
12:55doing music full-time.
12:57And that's when I first started really
12:59sitting with all these things that had
13:00happened cuz I I really want to make
13:02music that helps people. Yeah.
13:05I I really
13:06I want to I want to help people heal as
13:08best I can. Um especially my own
13:11siblings who I know are
13:14all carrying different things and um
13:16Yeah. I was realizing
13:19the religion I'm in, I'm limited in how
13:21I can help people. Yeah. I just want to
13:24be able to help people. Mhm. And the the
13:27addicts that I'm
13:29I'm wor-
13:30sitting with and the homeless that I'm
13:31visiting and
13:33and and the people in these mental
13:35health facilities, what I'm offering
13:37with religion isn't
13:39what they need right now. Like they need
13:41something else and I started to realize
13:43I didn't really have anything to help
13:45them with. Mhm. And that's when I
13:47started realizing I didn't even know how
13:48to help myself really. Like
13:50>> Yeah.
13:51And so I tried to process these things
13:54and
13:55I just it was a really scary thing to
13:57start to realize as I did more research
14:00into my own religion that it's not what
14:01I thought it was and it was this
14:03scary scary experience because I was
14:07worried would my wife see me the same if
14:09I'm not Mormon. Would my in-laws accept
14:11me? Would Yeah.
14:12>> This is the the one thing I was good at
14:14was being
14:16a member of this church and teaching and
14:19sharing.
14:20And now I'm realizing that none of it is
14:21what I thought it was and I started to
14:24hit me when I talked to a uh
14:26a trauma therapist and she said
14:30cuz I had always carried the guilt of
14:32that experience those experiences when I
14:34was a teenager
14:36and she said, "No, you were abused. Like
14:38that's you didn't you weren't able to
14:40consent." And I was like 31 years old
14:43when this hit me and I was like
14:45"Oh my gosh. Like what? What is this?"
14:50I really thought that I was guilty
14:52before God that I had
14:55>> done this thing and
14:57that's when I pulled my kids out of the
14:58church and I and I started to get angry
15:00about all this and I started to
15:03And now I'm at a place where
15:07I just I want to feel healed. I just
15:17Um
15:18I just I just want to be, you know, I
15:21want to stop uh
15:23I want to stop running and
15:25>> Yeah.
15:27Um I can feel where I'm not taking care
15:30of myself and I'm I'm eating food that
15:32makes me sick and sometimes I'll have
15:34three or four Dr. Peppers in a day. Mhm.
15:37And and and sometimes like a a sexual
15:40release or self-soothing like Mhm. five,
15:43six times in a day. Mhm. And then I have
15:45all this shame around it and
15:49and uh
15:50I I I want to help others heal. I want
15:53to heal and I've been listening to you
15:56for years and I that's been the
15:57frustrating thing for me is I I know
16:00like what happened happened and couldn't
16:02have happened any other way because it
16:04didn't and Mhm.
16:05>> this is all just a story and and you
16:09know, these are all gifts and every
16:11trigger is a gift and yes
16:13Mhm. and why am I back in the drive-thru
16:15again and like why Mhm. Uh and I can
16:18look back on these events in my life and
16:21I can also see miracles. Mhm.
16:23>> And so it's like
16:25like pick a story, bro. Like
16:28Like I just
16:29I just want to be happy and I just
16:32um
16:33you know, I
16:34uh
16:36I I just I want to I want to be and and
16:39>> Yeah.
16:40and that's the frustrating thing is that
16:42I'm I'm having this new awareness and I
16:45have moments where I feel bliss and
16:47beauty and I write these songs and
16:50everything makes sense and it's like, oh
16:52my god. Like being in that car with my
16:55mother, what a gift that was. I got to
16:58be with her when she moved on. Like a
17:00lot of people don't get that gift and
17:02Mhm.
17:02>> I'm trying I've been trying to reframe
17:04all these things and and make them
17:06beautiful. Yeah. And um
17:10but then I then I find myself back
17:13to using marijuana every day and just
17:15wanting to feel good, just wanting
17:17Mhm. believing these lies that I know
17:19are lies, that if I just take some THC
17:23uh then I can relax. And if I just
17:26drink the Dr. Pepper uh
17:28then I'll feel better. And almost this
17:30feeling like if I don't get it, like
17:32this
17:34like I don't know, like this scary
17:36feeling. Yeah. I know that's not
17:39healthy.
17:40And I just want to be real. I want to be
17:43honest, and I want to honestly help
17:45people without an agenda. I just want to
17:48be able to
17:49And when I when I began my music
17:51project, it's called Love the World.
17:53That's what my LLC is registered as. I
17:55kept going back between heal the world
17:58or love the world. Should it be heal the
17:59world? And finally I was like I don't
18:02even know how to heal myself. Like
18:04>> [laughter]
18:05>> Yeah, yeah. heal the world. Like, come
18:06on, bro. So I was like, I don't know how
18:08to heal nobody, but I know how to love.
18:11I know how to stick with people. I know
18:13how to hold people.
18:14Yeah.
18:16I just for some reason, I don't know why
18:18I haven't found that for myself yet.
18:20Even though intellectually I
18:22I've listened all your stuff, and I've
18:24the Tony Robbins and Brené Brown, and
18:26I've done ketamine, and I've met with a
18:28therapist for years, and the life
18:30coaching, and the
18:31the journaling, and the mindfulness, and
18:33the like
18:35Uh
18:36what am I missing? And I and I hear you
18:38in my head, the only thing that's wrong
18:39with you is the fact that you think
18:41something's wrong with you. And I cry.
18:43And that changed me. Yeah. And then I
18:46come back to this
18:48state again. And then I got Joe Dispenza
18:50in my head, like, yeah, that's the
18:51familiar pathway. So try something new.
18:54You know what I mean? Like
18:58Peter
18:59I I just need to get crowned, man. I was
19:01going to say, that's the only thing
19:02missing. That's the only thing missing
19:04is being crowned, right? Let's see if we
19:05can't handle that today.
19:07Listen, you are a sweetheart. I love the
19:09energy. I love the enthusiasm. You
19:11clearly have a boundless capacity to
19:13love, which is beautiful.
19:15Um just again for the reference for
19:17people listening, you know, you talked
19:19about Dr. Pepper, you know, sexual
19:22release, whether that's through porn or
19:23just self, you know, um satisfaction.
19:27You had uh junk food, but then
19:30you have made steps, right? Cuz you were
19:32at one point addicted to opioids. Yes.
19:35Okay.
19:36>> Yeah, and I haven't used those since
19:37December of 2023. Which is Yeah,
19:40amazing.
19:41>> Great. It's Yeah, it's Yeah.
19:43Yeah, any other substances?
19:45No, like marijuana is I got a a medical
19:48marijuana card, and the only other
19:50substance is my wife. So, when you say
19:53when you when you say porn, like she has
19:55been so sweet, so
19:59attentive and giving
20:02to where I I don't watch porn. I have my
20:06own material of my wife. And that is my
20:10sexual outlet. It's like my I I call it
20:13like my cheat code.
20:16But ironically, compared to most men,
20:18not cheating cheat code, yeah. Right,
20:21yeah. And she's so giving, and every day
20:24she's like, "Do you need Do you need
20:25something?" Like, "Do you Do you"
20:28And I've just I'm at a place where it's
20:30like, this isn't on her, like Yeah. It's
20:33like
20:34you'll never get enough of what almost,
20:36you know, works, like you say. So,
20:37that's when I knew I I don't know why I
20:40keep going. But that's Those are the
20:41substances. Marijuana, Dr. Pepper, food,
20:44and intimacy with my wife, or
20:47intercourse, not intimacy. Yeah, yeah.
20:49Okay. Well, I appreciate the
20:51vulnerability. I appreciate
20:53um your willingness to share your story,
20:56and clearly some of the events that have
20:57transpired that you shared will have uh
21:00contributed to this identity that, you
21:03know, I I I love how well versed you are
21:05with my work and the quotes, and life
21:07will present you with people and
21:08circumstances to reveal where you're not
21:10free and what happened happened and all
21:12the things you said, the only thing you
21:13think is wrong with you is thinking
21:15there's something wrong with you. So,
21:17these are all great, but knowing those
21:19things clearly doesn't it it's it
21:22they're accurate but insufficient is the
21:24way that I put it, right? Meaning that
21:25they're not quite getting to the core of
21:27what's going on for Philip.
21:29So, hopefully today we can um we can
21:31access that, okay? Yeah, please, dude.
21:34Yes.
21:36Let's [ __ ] go.
21:39So, [clears throat] a very subtle
21:40distinction that I I feel is
21:44often
21:45um
21:46first of all, never discussed and
21:48perhaps never even known is with regards
21:52to addiction itself. Right? So, if you
21:54were to look at weed
21:57Dr. Pepper, junk food, sex, how how
21:59would you classify those things in the
22:01realm of addiction? That they are the
22:05what?
22:06Uh they are the
22:08the fix. They're the They're the
22:10addiction. They're the Yeah. So, so
22:13typically in the realm of addiction and
22:15you know, I've helped people in a a
22:16myriad of different ways with all sorts
22:18of different substances. Most people
22:20will say even think I have an alcohol
22:21problem. I have a marijuana problem. I
22:23have a cocaine problem, right? So, we
22:26tend to look at
22:28the substances as {quote} {unquote} the
22:30problem. Make sense, right? Like you're
22:33whether you're articulating it that way
22:34or not, you're looking at, "Okay, I do,
22:37you know, relieve myself five times a
22:39day. I have three or four Dr. Peppers. I
22:41smoke weed every day." They they are
22:44albeit perhaps not declared this way,
22:47they are perceived as the problem in
22:48Philip's life. Correct? Yeah, right.
22:52Now, what happens and why this is a
22:54powerful distinction is when we look at
22:55something as a problem, we generate
22:58resistance internally to it.
23:00Yeah? Right. Make sense? Whenever we
23:03have resistance to something, what that
23:05actually does is it exacerbates the
23:08desire for it.
23:11Yeah, okay. Do you see that? You
23:13tracking? Yeah, definitely. Now, the
23:15reason we do that is because our essence
23:18is freedom.
23:19So, think about it this way. If who we
23:21are is freedom, meaning we're able to do
23:24anything, your nature is freedom,
23:27but you're psychologically, emotionally,
23:30intellectually telling yourself that you
23:31can't do something, then because of our
23:35nature of freedom, the inclination is
23:37towards that.
23:39Do you Do you follow that energetics?
23:41>> Oh, okay. So, you're saying
23:44I've labeled it as bad, so I don't So, I
23:47shouldn't have it, but by saying I
23:49shouldn't have it, my soul is like, "No,
23:51I'm free. I can have whatever I want."
23:53Right. That's the light way of
23:55expressing it. So, now, here's the aha
23:57moment cuz you're very smart.
23:59What I want you to realize, Philip,
24:01whether it's sexual addiction, Dr.
24:04Pepper, junk food, weed, whatever
24:06substance, even back in the day,
24:08opioids,
24:09listen carefully. None of those are the
24:12problem.
24:14They are the solution.
24:20Now, let that land.
24:22Everything that you're partaking in that
24:24you call an addiction is not a problem,
24:27it's a solution.
24:33Okay.
24:35I mean, I trust you. I'm going with you
24:36on this. Yeah. So, so stay with me.
24:40So, if everything that you're choosing
24:43unconsciously, so in the world of like
24:45ego, we typically are driven by what I
24:48call unconscious reactions. So, right
24:51now, those solutions that I'm reframing
24:54for you are unconscious reactions to the
24:56ultimate addiction, which is to the idea
24:59of our self.
25:01Okay.
25:02So Philip at the subconscious level of
25:06his own personality will have
25:08narratives, pieces of code which we're
25:10going to reveal today
25:12that generate the internal experience of
25:15suffering from which you try to escape.
25:19Okay.
25:20>> The means of escape is the solution to
25:22your suffering.
25:25Okay.
25:26>> Yeah.
25:27Now if we don't deal with the internal
25:29suffering, then it doesn't matter how
25:32much you try to avoid the solutions,
25:35you're being informed by suffering and
25:37there is no mammal on the planet that
25:39does not try to escape suffering.
25:43Right. Okay.
25:45So
25:46the first reframe for you is your your
25:49unconscious programming is doing the the
25:52right job.
25:57You follow? Meaning So this is a way of
25:59acknowledging your conditioning without
26:02wanting to perpetuate it or condone it,
26:04right? Meaning Oh, Philip at the deepest
26:07level and we've got all the evidence, at
26:09least I do, as to why your suffering is
26:11doing what every human being who suffers
26:14does, which is get away from suffering.
26:18So
26:19in that particular timeline of
26:22existence, what you're doing is {quote}
26:24correct
26:26for the instinct of a mammal.
26:30Okay.
26:33You follow? Yeah. Okay. So you're
26:35>> So first of all what what I'm By doing
26:37this, what I want to help you to do is
26:39to eradicate, mitigate the judgment and
26:42shame that you have about your chosen
26:45forms of solution.
26:48Yeah. Okay. Does that help soften start
26:51to at least go, "Oh, I'm actually doing
26:55what any mammal would do when in a
26:57position of discomfort? I'm finding
27:00comfort." Okay. Yeah.
27:03Yeah. So, how does that feel super Yeah,
27:06how does that feel?
27:07So, it feels like
27:11I don't I just feel like I have more
27:12compassion for myself. Like So, you're
27:15saying I've just been surviving.
27:17Correct.
27:18>> And none of these things are bad, but
27:20No. because I have this subconscious
27:22something that's happening, these are
27:24naturally a solution for that suffering.
27:27Correct.
27:28And when you frame it that way, as you
27:30just said beautifully, and it you know,
27:32it brought up an emotion for you, you
27:34can find compassion for yourself. Oh,
27:37I'm hurt,
27:39suffering, and all I'm doing, albeit at
27:41some degree unconsciously,
27:44is finding some relief.
27:47Yeah. Yeah. With like So, for example,
27:50if you're if you're you know, you've got
27:53three kids, you said? Five.
27:54>> You got You Oh, you got five kids.
27:56>> Yeah. Okay, sorry. So, you cuz I know
27:58you said the two daughters and the son
28:00were saying get cramp. Thank you.
28:02Safety in numbers in your family,
28:03apparently.
28:04>> [laughter]
28:04>> All right. So, So, if let's say um you
28:08know, your son had burned his finger,
28:12right? Just whatever. It was holding
28:13trying to make a fire for the family, or
28:16was pouring a kettle and grabbed the
28:17piece of metal, and then he went to the
28:20cold tap.
28:22Would you Would you shame him for
28:24putting his finger under the cold tap?
28:26Oh, no. Of course not. No. Do you see?
28:30Yeah.
28:31Isn't that Isn't that interesting?
28:35Oh my gosh.
28:38>> [laughter]
28:39>> So, that's level number one, right? So,
28:42first of all, huh?
28:44No, it just reminded me of Liar Liar
28:46with Jim Carrey when the guy walks in on
28:48the bathroom and he's like, "What are
28:49you doing?" He's like, "I'm kicking my
28:51ass. Do you mind?"
28:53>> [laughter]
28:54>> Yeah, you're very good at that. Welcome
28:56to Welcome to your humanity, yeah. I've
28:59yet to meet a human being who doesn't at
29:01some level beat the [ __ ] out of
29:02themselves, yeah. [laughter] Yeah.
29:05I'm doing my best to, you know, one mind
29:07at a time liberate souls. But anyway,
29:10um so, first level, oh my gosh, Philip,
29:14albeit not necessarily a conscious
29:16choice, which is what we're evolving to
29:18versus unconscious reaction, right? We
29:20want to move into conscious creation,
29:22which we will do by the end of this
29:24conversation, you have my word.
29:26But right now, we first of all want to
29:28see that within the realm of what I call
29:30this old operating system of humanity
29:321.0 mindset,
29:34that entire structure of programming is
29:38its sole imperative is survival.
29:41Now, why is it based in survival?
29:42Because the underlying fundamental code
29:45is in some sort of inadequacy,
29:48insecurity, or scarcity, meaning we're
29:50living in a confined view of ourself
29:53that creates suffering
29:55from which we seek relief.
29:59That's just 101 existence. That's a
30:01whole world out there, Philip, just not
30:03you, right? Yours manifests as what you
30:05call, you know, addiction. Someone might
30:07be listening to this who's like, "That
30:09dude drinks three to four Dr. Pepper's a
30:11day? [ __ ] A, welcome to my world,
30:13dude." Like, you know, "I'm doing
30:15cocaine every hour." Or, you know, I
30:17mean, there was There was someone who
30:19was drinking 99, you know, Cokes a day
30:21that one of my Ayurveda doctors was
30:23helping, right? So, relatively speaking,
30:26yeah, doesn't really matter. Everybody's
30:28got their own form of addiction because,
30:30you know, my quotes better than anyone,
30:31apparently, and the one I have about
30:33addiction is there's no greater
30:35addiction than the idea of ourself.
30:39Mhm.
30:40That's your addiction. Yeah. Yeah.
30:44What we want to be able to do today is
30:46we want to reveal what is that idea of
30:48Philip that creates the suffering that
30:51is the precursor to the unconscious draw
30:54naturally to a form of relief which you
30:56found in you know these four sort of
31:00predominant choices, right? Right. And
31:03and the other thing that really hurts
31:05me, Peter, which I know you're about to
31:07help me with is my my my 9-year-old
31:10daughter or my 6-year-old daughter.
31:12They will come to me and give me love.
31:15They will kiss me on the cheek.
31:17And they will hug me and I'll just feel
31:19in my body like anger.
31:22And I I I don't like I don't understand
31:26why my sweet little girls are just
31:28trying to love their dad and I feel this
31:32frustration, this Yeah. anger and I
31:36don't get it. Like what?
31:38>> That's okay. We'll get to it. Don't
31:39worry. It's very clear. It'll all become
31:41crystal clear by the time I'm
31:43I'm done with your Dr. Pepper drinking
31:45ass.
31:46>> [laughter]
31:49>> Such a wild guy. Three to four cans a
31:51day. Oh my god, you're out of control.
31:53>> [laughter]
31:54>> I live on the wild side, man.
31:56Exactly.
31:58I should introduce you to some people
32:00I've helped. No.
32:02All kidding aside, I don't want to in
32:03any way adjust you you're just so fun to
32:05be with and I don't want to dismiss the
32:07you know the the
32:08the struggles that you've been through
32:10and the the the amount of love that you
32:12still bring to other people even in the
32:14face of your own suffering. It's it's
32:15really inspiring. So Thanks, bro.
32:17>> But now at least you're starting to see
32:19the cascade of how
32:21subconscious constraints lead to
32:22thoughts, feelings, and then behaviors
32:25um or actions which create outcomes,
32:27right? Yeah. So in this case what we're
32:29doing is I'm reverse engineering which I
32:31do with everybody back to the
32:33subconscious programming that
32:35fundamentally got triggered, not
32:37created, but stimulated in childhood,
32:40right? This is the much more esoteric
32:42understanding for the more advanced
32:44listener. Is my assertion is that we are
32:46here to transcend the constraints with
32:49which we arrived.
32:51Okay, it's not because your mom died in
32:54a car accident when you're 19 months.
32:56It's not because you were groomed and
32:58then sexually abused by a woman when you
33:00were 14. Those are
33:03the {quote} {unquote} catalysts
33:05to trigger the underlying constraints
33:08with which the soul Philip arrived that
33:12he's here to fundamentally transcend. I
33:15know that's
33:16quite a mouthful, but you're familiar
33:17with my work, so hopefully you're
33:19tracking. Oh, yeah, dude. I've been
33:20looking forward to this part for years,
33:22bro.
33:23>> [laughter]
33:23>> Okay.
33:24We could even argue that this was the
33:26reason you incarnated to be groomed.
33:29Dude, I'm I'm here for it, man.
33:32I [laughter and gasps] know.
33:33I know. Okay, beautiful. So,
33:35let's go back to those events and
33:36they're certainly two or three and it'll
33:38also tie into why your beautiful six and
33:40nine-year-old daughters come and kiss
33:41you on the cheek and yet you feel
33:43internally a form of resistance, which
33:46we already we we already spoke to,
33:48right? Right? We've got the the
33:50substances and you've got resistance.
33:52You're In your own words, you said,
33:54"Yeah, you're seeing them as bad,
33:55right?" Yeah.
33:57And so now the frustration or even the
33:59anger that you experience when your two
34:01beautiful daughters come to give you
34:03love will make a lot of sense by the
34:06time that you start to see who is Philip
34:08in the way that he has defined himself.
34:11Okay? Okay.
34:12So now, ironically, it wasn't so much
34:16what I hear in your story. It wasn't so
34:18much,
34:19you know, both events that you have kind
34:21of highlighted, the mom dying, which is
34:23of course tragic and and and I I'm
34:26really sorry you went through that, and
34:28certainly the sexual abuse, which I've
34:29helped a a of people go through.
34:31I feel the one of the most pivotal
34:33moments actually that has defined
34:36Philip's persona is the when you got
34:41um
34:42excommunicated shall we say the probate
34:44that you had to experience from the
34:45church.
34:47Yeah.
34:48Because what was that like? What when
34:51that 14-year-old and it's coming to the
34:53surface now for you, what what did you
34:56decide at that moment that that meant
34:58about you?
34:59Um
35:00that I was
35:02not worthy.
35:04Not worthy is a nice way of saying it.
35:06What else? That I was I was bad. That I
35:08was
35:10evil or
35:12Yeah. Not good.
35:15When I listen to your video, it gives me
35:17chills cuz for whatever reasons that I'm
35:19blessed with the ability to listen to a
35:20story and immediately hear the
35:22underlying subconscious constraints that
35:24confined people
35:25all I could hear
35:27was somebody who fundamentally thinks
35:30they're a bad person.
35:36What is that like to live inside of
35:37that, Philip?
35:42It's okay. Just let let it all out. Keep
35:44feeling it.
35:49It's okay.
35:53That who you are for yourself is bad and
35:56relative to your community
35:59your family
36:00Yeah, it's it's scary. It feels like I'm
36:03constantly going to get found out. Like
36:05people are
36:06constantly going to like when when they
36:08do they won't like me anymore. They
36:10won't love me. It's it's it's
36:12exhausting.
36:14I keep having to prove something to
36:15people.
36:16Yeah.
36:18Yeah. Yeah.
36:22Yeah, I get it. Just stay there for a
36:24minute. Like you've been walking around
36:26your how old now? 36? 30 36, yeah.
36:29Yeah, for over three decades that who
36:32you are for yourself
36:34is that you're just bad.
36:38And there could be other words that come
36:39to mind. You're rotten, you're trash,
36:41you're dirty is another word that I
36:43feel.
36:45Does that resonate?
36:46Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
36:50I mean, that's just dirty, right? What
36:52you went through that you you know, you
36:54don't belong now in the church. Yeah.
36:57>> You're so filthy.
36:59Yeah.
37:06What are some of the ways that when you
37:08live inside of that prison that you have
37:10learned to compensate? Um
37:13to
37:15like especially when I was in the
37:16church, I I studied the scriptures more
37:19than anybody and I memorized scriptures
37:21and I volunteered for every class and I
37:23said yes even when I didn't want to.
37:26And
37:28um
37:29and I
37:31did the things that nobody else wanted
37:32to do and I volunteered in nursery and I
37:36basically just abandoned myself trying
37:39to prove to everybody in church like see
37:42I'm I'm a good guy.
37:43>> [laughter]
37:44>> Yeah. Um All the while reinforcing what?
37:47That I'm bad.
37:50Now look at that. Look at all the
37:51energy, the effort, the time, the the
37:54the abandonment as you said, the way you
37:56compromised yourself, the exhaustion you
37:58put yourself through.
38:00Always always reinforcing the very thing
38:04that you were desperately trying to
38:06escape.
38:14Yeah.
38:16It's a lot, I know.
38:19It's okay.
38:21Now now you're starting to see
38:25the cause of the addiction, the home of
38:28the addiction.
38:32Yeah.
38:34Yeah.
38:36I just always trying to make
38:38people like me and feel safe around me.
38:42And then I say and do things and then
38:45like 10 minutes later be like, "Wait,
38:47why did I do that?"
38:49Uh
38:51But now but I but you're saying it's
38:52because it's because I was trying so
38:54desperately to prove that I wasn't bad.
38:57Yeah.
38:59Unconscious reaction.
39:01Meaning it's not something you believe.
39:03People talk about limiting beliefs. This
39:05is way below limiting beliefs. This is
39:08far deeper.
39:09You've heard me say it cuz you're
39:10familiar with my work. This is the you
39:12that you are for yourself.
39:16Philip isn't walking around believing
39:18he's bad.
39:20Right.
39:20>> Philip, in his own definition of
39:22himself, is bad.
39:29And that's why you can't see it. Yeah.
39:33I mean, look at the way you describe,
39:35defined Dr. Pepper, weed, sex,
39:40right, and junk food. How did you
39:42describe them? That you saw them. I
39:44said, "You create resistance cuz you
39:46think that they are
39:48bad.
39:50No surprise in the choice of words.
39:56Oh, and now I can see where I tried to
39:58make sex not bad cuz it's my wife.
40:01Right.
40:02That's
40:04>> [laughter]
40:06>> Okay.
40:07We don't see the way the world is, we
40:09see the way that we see the world.
40:13Yeah.
40:15Isn't that powerful? Yeah.
40:18It's not the world that we see, it's the
40:21way that we see.
40:23Now, if who you are is bad, so let's
40:25just take one let's just take let's stay
40:28as objective as possible.
40:31In the world of pure physics,
40:34is Dr. Pepper bad?
40:37No, it's just a drink.
40:38>> No, it's Dr. [ __ ] Pepper. Yeah.
40:40>> [laughter]
40:43>> Right? Yeah. Yeah. So, what I want you
40:46to understand is and again, I'm not in
40:47any way dismissing the fact that like I
40:49don't you know, I don't promote sodas,
40:52you know, this is by no means a
40:53commercial for Dr. Pepper. They'll
40:56suddenly be reaching out to Peter Crone.
40:58We'd like to sponsor your podcast. I'm
41:00like,
41:00no, I'm not interested.
41:02My friend Philip told me you're bad.
41:04>> [laughter]
41:08>> No, but we we understand also in the
41:10realm of physics. Like let's take a more
41:12bigger example, okay, this might be
41:14harder and especially for the listening
41:15audience.
41:16Is heroin bad?
41:20No, right?
41:22>> No, it's heroin. Yeah.
41:24Now,
41:26I want you to be able to understand
41:27whether we take you know, a slightly
41:29more mild you know, substance like Dr.
41:31Pepper or heroin. I'm not saying that I
41:33suggest anybody do them. Everything in
41:35the world of karma, cause and effect,
41:38has impact.
41:40Everything.
41:41Sure.
41:42>> Right? Yeah. You know, you could say
41:43that the guy who goes to the gym who
41:45used to be an addict, who now goes to
41:47the gym for 3 hours a day and he jogs
41:49and he's training for like his fifth
41:51marathon of the year and it's only like
41:53coming up to the end of April whenever
41:55it is. Like
41:56that that might look like, oh, the
41:57dude's really fit. I would still say
41:59that he's being driven by an addiction.
42:01Do you see? Yeah.
42:04It's like Shakespeare said, nothing in
42:06nothing is either good nor bad, but only
42:09thinking makes Is so. Yeah. Yeah.
42:12>> Isn't that beautiful? Dude, yeah. In the
42:14realm of physics, you know, somebody
42:16like myself with a very sensitive
42:18constitution cuz I would like to declare
42:20that I take immaculate care of myself.
42:22If I were to drink two or three Dr.
42:24Peppers a day, it would definitely make
42:26a mess, you know, in what you know, it's
42:28just my I don't drink soda. I just don't
42:30want to touch it, right? So, but for
42:32somebody who's accustomed to it, maybe
42:34their body has adapted to the point that
42:36well, it doesn't have the same degree of
42:38impact.
42:40But, the cause and effects are over the
42:41long term, again, like smoking. If
42:43someone has got a constitution like an
42:46an ox, they might be able to smoke for
42:48decades and be okay. Somebody who's more
42:50sensitive, you know, they might develop,
42:52you know, lung cancer or, you know,
42:54whatever it is that they're going to
42:55develop. So, we want to stay in the
42:57realm of physics, right? Okay. Where
43:00people suffer is in the realm of
43:02perspective.
43:04Right? You're not a victim of
43:06circumstance. You're not a victim of,
43:07you know, sex, Dr. Pepper, junk food,
43:10and freaking marijuana. You're a victim
43:13of a perspective that you're looking
43:14through.
43:15So, is this why cuz I've noticed that
43:18often times I will turn to these things
43:19when things are great.
43:21I'll get out of an assembly with all
43:23these kids or a assisted living facility
43:26and I'm on cloud nine
43:28and then I want, you know, the double
43:30cheeseburger or the vape the THC vape.
43:33Is that Are you saying it's because
43:36innately there's a part of me that's
43:37like, oh, no, no, no, no, I'm bad,
43:39remember? Correct. We always have to
43:42think about the thermostat in a house.
43:45If the thermostat in a house is set to
43:4770°,
43:49if it suddenly gets cold outside and it
43:51starts to drop to 68, 67, what will it
43:55do?
43:56It'll kick in and put it back to the
43:59Correct.
44:00Conversely, you know, if it gets too hot
44:02outside,
44:04it will turn on the AC and bring it back
44:06down.
44:07So, think of that in terms of the same
44:10for our own identity. The way that we've
44:12defined ourselves at a very deep
44:14subconscious level has to constantly be
44:16rectified.
44:19I see. Okay.
44:21So, you The good news is you're never
44:23going to get too far off, you know, like
44:25those substances can accumulate over
44:27time, like you know,
44:29somebody will say, "Oh, you know, weed
44:30is a gateway drug, right?" And then you
44:32become like you get into the heavier
44:34stuff as you go. But really the gateway
44:36drug is is this as I declared this
44:38ultimate addiction is the idea of
44:40yourself. So, sometimes it becomes
44:42slippery where and I don't want to get
44:44too into the linguistics of how these
44:47codes define personality. That's what I
44:49You know, for people who are interested,
44:50that's what I do in the mastermind. I
44:52know you're in freedom membership,
44:54right? But the mastermind is where I
44:55help people understand and I'm going to
44:57give like a little insight today.
44:59Most human beings in their identity are
45:01defined by something they're not.
45:05Now, what does that mean? I'm not good
45:07enough. I'm not loved.
45:11I'm not valued or worthy, right? Can you
45:14see that? Yeah. Yeah. When a human
45:17being's identity is defined by what
45:19we're not,
45:21our
45:22our compromise and coping strategy tends
45:25to be try and become that thing.
45:29To compensate.
45:29>> So, if I'm If I'm not good enough, I'm
45:33going to as a strategy for survival
45:36become a people pleaser, perfectionist,
45:38work hard as a an attempt to become
45:42enough. Do you see that? Yeah. Yeah.
45:44Make sense, right? It's logical. Right.
45:48With somebody like yourself, there's a
45:49shadow side of what I call these
45:51negations of self, which is well, I am
45:54something negative.
45:56So, the antithesis of I'm not good
45:58enough is I am bad.
46:01So, Philip's identity has fallen into
46:04the shadow side, which is why you
46:06struggled with it for so long, or it's
46:08manifesting in a way that will
46:10you know, you're 36, but over time that
46:12would lead to physiological issues and
46:15you know, you've got a beautiful doting
46:16wife and lovely kids.
46:18But for most people in the shadow side
46:21of a compromised
46:24constraint of oneself, there tends to be
46:26a lot of destruction, right? Divorce,
46:29sickness, disease, loss of jobs, all the
46:32things like that, right? Yeah.
46:35Yeah.
46:36Do you see? So, now
46:38So,
46:39why I'm so happy that you're here today
46:41and you clearly have such a beautiful
46:42powerful spirit, which is why you
46:44haven't cascaded too far down the I am
46:48bad, you know, route, which a lot of
46:51people when they're in that tend to
46:53fulfill on.
46:55So, what I want you to understand is
46:57first of all, you're doing a a hell of a
46:59job to have kicked the opioids and to
47:01still be making a huge difference for
47:03the homeless and the people that you,
47:05you know, touch, which is beautiful. So,
47:07I just want to acknowledge that, okay?
47:09Thanks, bro.
47:10Yeah, of course. So,
47:12but now you start to see, oh, if who you
47:15are, not what you believe, but who you
47:17are is that I am bad,
47:20you can now see the cascade, right?
47:22Yeah.
47:24Yeah.
47:25Yeah. Yeah. So, when my my daughters
47:28come to love on me,
47:30Yeah.
47:31it's it it's me saying, why are you
47:34loving someone bad?
47:36Is that what you think?
47:37>> make sense. Yeah. It doesn't resonate.
47:40It doesn't align. And so, your
47:43fundamental identity at the deepest
47:45level has to
47:47do something in order to prevail, to
47:50sustain itself. See, the ego of every
47:52human being fundamentally is fictitious.
47:56Right.
47:57Uh so, in for it to prevail, it has to
48:00keep finding evidence or create its own
48:04to exist.
48:06Isn't that nuts?
48:08Yeah.
48:09It's nuts, man.
48:12Yeah, and you wonder why people out
48:13there are [ __ ] do you know, excuse
48:14my French, but you know, both sick and
48:17tired of being sick and tired, but they
48:18don't believe they have the life they
48:20want and they keep wondering why they
48:21the the self-fulfilling prophecy is
48:24leading to all of the discomfort and
48:26suffering that they have. Well, you're
48:27just constantly being right about your
48:30own identity.
48:32Yeah.
48:34>> [laughter]
48:35>> Bonkers, isn't it? Yeah, I've been so
48:38good at it though.
48:40Why here?
48:42Everybody's so good at being, you know,
48:44wrong about themselves. I mean, that's
48:46the human disposition. That is the
48:48insidious nature of what I call the 1.0
48:51mindset. That's why I've created the new
48:52operating system for humanity.
48:55To break out of the world of limitation,
48:57fear, suffering, disease, and scarcity.
48:59That is the world that we have. And then
49:01on top of that, we just have the myriad
49:02of forms of coping strategies and
49:05survival techniques to try and mitigate
49:07it. All of which do nothing but
49:09reinforce it. And you have the mad world
49:12[ __ ] show of planet Earth that we
49:14currently have.
49:16So this is why I've had my spine fused
49:18after three surgeries is cuz I I keep
49:22I've constantly been in an environment
49:24where I've been living in a world where
49:27I'm bad
49:28and
49:30and my body's just been carrying that
49:32weight is what you're saying. Just an
49:35absolutely unnecessary burden from which
49:38you can never escape.
49:40Right.
49:42Yeah.
49:44>> [laughter]
49:45>> God.
49:47Oh, man, this is why I love you, bro.
49:50Dude, I'm telling you, man. Yes. Okay.
49:53Okay. So, that's level one there. So,
49:55now we're getting down to the deeper
49:56level. So, where was Philip born? Dude,
49:59I've been waiting for this for years,
50:01bro. Okay. [laughter]
50:03I was born in North Carolina, Peter.
50:05Okay.
50:06So, Philip,
50:08this is your moment. If I cut you open,
50:12am I going to find a physical
50:14manufacturing label, pick your material,
50:16wood, metal, plastic, that says on it,
50:18Philip, born in North Carolina, he is
50:21bad?
50:23>> [laughter]
50:25>> No, man. No, you won't.
50:28>> [laughter]
50:32[clears throat]
50:33[laughter]
50:35>> Oh, man. Go ahead. My bad. Go ahead. No,
50:38no, no. This is
50:39>> [laughter]
50:40>> My bad.
50:42Hey.
50:45Just got to help yourself. This guy.
50:47This guy. He's on fuego.
50:49>> Okay. Okay. No, man. No, you won't find
50:51it there. It's not in there.
50:52>> No, it's not part of his physiology,
50:53right? But we if we could read the
50:55genome, we'd understand your body
50:56constitution, your eye color, all the
50:58things, right? Somebody would be able to
51:00read that. So, where therefore does I'm
51:02bad exist? Because for over three
51:05decades, three and a half, it has
51:06dictated your thoughts, your feelings,
51:09your actions, and now these {quote}
51:10{unquote} addictions that you've been
51:11dealing with. So, where does the I'm bad
51:14live?
51:15In my head. In the conversation.
51:18Exactly. And where did that
51:21predominantly get formulated from?
51:25What what would you say was the most
51:27pivotal experience
51:32that you've already referenced and that
51:34I I I repeated for you?
51:35>> From the experience when I was when I
51:37was a teenager and experienced sexual
51:39abuse.
51:39>> Yeah.
51:40That you got probation and that you were
51:42basically {quote} {unquote} kicked out,
51:44shamed. Yeah. And that young boy
51:47then at that moment decided what that
51:50meant about him.
51:52Yeah.
51:53And that's when I started to do all the
51:55church stuff and got way into
51:56everything. Of course, which was the
51:58compensation, which is the logical
52:00progression because at the deepest level
52:03of who we are, we want to experience our
52:07essence, which is unity.
52:10Yeah. Yeah.
52:12So just as I said earlier, your nature
52:14is freedom. When you have resistance to
52:16in this case, you know, substances, your
52:20inherent freedom doesn't like not having
52:23freedom, so you're drawn to them.
52:26If you experience from your essence
52:28unity, but now you experience the
52:30feeling of separation or
52:32excommunication,
52:33what are you going to do?
52:35Try and get back to it. Of course.
52:38That's all any human being is doing. We
52:40want to experience our own divine
52:42essence of unity, which we can never
52:44access cuz we look through the illusion
52:46of a separate ego.
52:50>> [laughter]
52:51>> BRO, I'M TELLING YOU, MAN. YES.
52:55OH, get crowned, Phillip. Gosh.
52:58>> [laughter]
52:59>> So it lives in your head in what form?
53:02You said a conversation language, right?
53:04>> yes. In sound. In sound. It's literally
53:06So who you are is a divine essence of
53:08pure possibility, limitlessness,
53:11absolutely boundless potential that's
53:13being confined, imprisoned by sound. In
53:17this case, sound that who you are is
53:19bad.
53:21Yeah.
53:22So if it is just sound, if it is just
53:24language, it's literally words saying
53:26that you are bad, is it true that who
53:29you are is bad?
53:32No.
53:34Not at all. Oh, man.
53:38>> [laughter]
53:40>> Oh.
53:42Welcome to freedom, my man. [laughter]
53:47Thank you, bro.
53:48Oh.
53:49Just sit with it. You have been living
53:51in one of the most common, insidious,
53:54destructive lies. It's a lie.
53:58And what's so beautiful about you, I've
54:00never met anybody on this show who's so
54:02committed to truth.
54:05Thanks.
54:06>> why this is going to be just such a such
54:09a joyous transformation for you. Oh.
54:12Yeah. You You can't overcome a lie.
54:17Dude.
54:20Yeah. That's why I've been doing so much
54:22damn research. Good night.
54:25Oh.
54:26>> Yeah.
54:27And now I don't have to.
54:29>> [laughter]
54:31>> You can drink MORE DR. PEPPER.
54:37OH GOSH. I highly don't recommend it.
54:40But anyway, so
54:42But what's the difference now? If you
54:43did
54:45So now we want to make We want to make
54:46the collapse. Okay.
54:48>> If you were from this position of
54:51realizing that you're not bad, if you
54:54drank Dr. Pepper, what does that mean?
54:57It means I drank Dr. PEPPER. EXACTLY.
55:00[laughter]
55:05SO NOW GET THIS ONE. When your six and
55:08nine-year-old daughters come in and kiss
55:10you on the cheek,
55:12what now becomes available from this
55:14space?
55:16Oh.
55:19Oh.
55:20I can just receive their love.
55:23Yep. Oh. And I can kiss them back.
55:27Yep.
55:28Oh.
55:30They just got their dad today.
55:33Yeah.
55:36Isn't that special?
55:40Yeah, I was telling my wife Danny. I was
55:42like, I just know he's going to say go
55:44meet your daughters and I'm so ready for
55:46it.
55:47Yeah.
55:49I'd say go meet your daughters, go meet
55:50your wife, go meet your son. Yeah.
55:54I would I'm excited to meet myself. You
55:56know, I've been a good guy this whole
55:57time.
55:58>> [laughter]
56:02>> You really have.
56:04Such a good guy who tried so hard. He's
56:07such a good guy that he tried so hard to
56:09disprove his own lie that HE WAS BAD.
56:12>> [laughter]
56:18>> DUDE.
56:21OH MY GOSH, PETER. YES. DUDE, I got
56:25crowned, bro.
56:27>> [laughter]
56:28>> Yeah. Going to have to get you a
56:29t-shirt. I knew this was coming. We
56:32might have to do that for everyone who's
56:33on the show.
56:35Yeah.
56:36Oh, man. Yes, I get to meet my
56:38daughters.
56:40How special is that?
56:42As you, as the boundless, loving,
56:44beautiful soul that you truly are.
56:49Really feel it. Your nature
56:52is love.
56:56What's What's Tell everybody your motto?
56:59If no one else loves you, I do.
57:02Now, apply that to yourself.
57:04Yeah.
57:05God.
57:11You really You really had it. The way
57:13that you saw the world was nobody else
57:15loved you. How could they? You're bad.
57:18That's why I would go and visit people
57:20in jails and state the state prison.
57:24And I've wanted to do this
57:26I've wanted to do this this like one of
57:27my secret like dreams and goals is to
57:31create a non-profit
57:33where we have health professionals when
57:36the politician committed adultery or the
57:38teacher had inappropriate relations with
57:40the student or somebody killed somebody
57:42and all of society is looking at this
57:44person and judging them.
57:47And every time that happens all I can
57:48think to myself is
57:50I don't know but I this is a human
57:52being. How much How much were they
57:55hurting that they ruined their life like
57:57this?
57:59And so I think what
58:00what I hear you saying is the reason I
58:02was drawn to those people is because I
58:04was looking for myself. Both looking for
58:06yourself but also the beauty of the fact
58:09that you could recognize within them
58:11that which you were struggling with
58:12yourself.
58:14Yeah. And that's what bred compassion.
58:17I guarantee you as a generalization
58:20there's not anybody in prison that I've
58:22helped a lot and we gift a lot of my
58:23courses to inmates that doesn't think
58:26they're fundamentally bad. Society has
58:28confirmed it.
58:30But it's the chicken and the egg, which
58:32came first, right? I would assert that
58:34that soul incarnated with the story they
58:36were bad and then had to curate the
58:37events to confirm it.
58:39Frequency precedes form. That's how
58:41powerful we are.
58:43Didn't matter where you looked, Philip,
58:45you were always going to see bad.
58:48And then you try to compensate which of
58:50course is logical and because you're a
58:52beautiful soul and you didn't want to
58:53experience suffering, everybody as I
58:55said is trying to mitigate their own
58:57suffering. Oh, man.
59:00Yeah. And now where's the suffering? Oh,
59:03it was just a story. It's It's not even
59:06It isn't.
59:08So then who needs marijuana? Who needs
59:10Dr. Pepper? Who needs junk food?
59:13Oh.
59:15And even if you have it periodically cuz
59:17there may still be what I call karmic
59:19momentum in your physiology, meaning
59:20your physiology like, you know, when
59:22people have a lot of imbalances in their
59:24gut, they might be drawn to certain
59:26foods. You know, when women go through
59:27pregnancy, there are certain
59:29inclinations towards tastes and you
59:31know, so your physiology might still
59:33inform a habit.
59:35But now you get to have conscious
59:37choice.
59:39Is choosing Dr. Pepper junk food
59:41marijuana in Philip's best interest when
59:44who he sees himself to be is this
59:47boundless limitless being who warrants
59:49love?
59:50Who is love? Of course not. Yeah.
59:53Exactly. But now it's a choice as
59:55opposed to before it was an unconscious
59:57reaction. Right.
59:58>> Which had its own undeniable momentum
1:00:02that was very hard to overcome. Some
1:00:04people do it with willpower. You managed
1:00:05to do that with your opioids.
1:00:07But you can never over time overcome
1:00:10that which is persistently there.
1:00:13That's what I said, you know, you can
1:00:14never get something of enough of
1:00:16something that almost works. Yeah. Yeah.
1:00:20But now you get to make a choice for
1:00:23yourself from love.
1:00:25Right. I get to take care of me.
1:00:28What a novel thought.
1:00:30>> [laughter]
1:00:31>> Yeah, cuz I'm the good guy. I'm a good
1:00:34guy.
1:00:35>> [ __ ] A.
1:00:37Been a good guy the whole time.
1:00:39You have. And just And just because this
1:00:42is an important distinction
1:00:46that will give you power.
1:00:48You have been a good guy all the time.
1:00:49You are a good guy and and not or or but
1:00:55by virtue of being human you have the
1:00:58capacity
1:01:00to experience yourself as bad and act
1:01:03accordingly.
1:01:04I see. Okay, yeah. Yeah.
1:01:07I It's important that we integrate that
1:01:09versus dismiss it. So that like you
1:01:12said, if there's karmic momentum if
1:01:14something happens, I don't fall into a
1:01:16cycle of ah
1:01:17See I I [ __ ] up. I need to be crowned
1:01:19again. I'm such a bad guy. I knew I
1:01:21couldn't keep it up. All of those
1:01:23stories would only be reinforcing the
1:01:25underlying bad that you haven't
1:01:27incorporated or included.
1:01:30Right. Okay.
1:01:31>> Can you feel the power in that? Because
1:01:33otherwise, if you walk around now Philip
1:01:35as a good guy, you leave yourself
1:01:37ironically more vulnerable again. Cuz no
1:01:40one can sustain that. Right. Right.
1:01:43Okay. Yeah.
1:01:45Okay. That makes sense.
1:01:47So, the way I would say to the deep
1:01:49energetic level is who you are is love.
1:01:53And love makes space for all of it.
1:01:55Yeah.
1:01:57Yeah. Dude, you talk my language, bro.
1:02:01Yes, love.
1:02:03Yes. When you go into these
1:02:05incarceration facilities or you see
1:02:07homeless, you don't judge them, do you?
1:02:08No.
1:02:10No, but objectively the way that they've
1:02:12ended up where they are is because of
1:02:13consequences and actions that, you know,
1:02:16according to society aren't agreed upon
1:02:18or they're frowned upon, right? But you
1:02:20come in with no judgment. Because in
1:02:23that relationship, you're making space
1:02:26for their indiscretions. You're making
1:02:28space for their shortcomings. You're
1:02:30making space for their humanity. Yeah.
1:02:34Now you get to make space for Philip's.
1:02:38So, now I'm going to blow another part
1:02:40of your mind. Are you ready?
1:02:41>> Dude, I'm ready, man.
1:02:44You never, ever wanted to be healed.
1:02:51Because there was nothing to be healed.
1:02:53You just wanted to be held.
1:02:56For your imperfections.
1:03:00That 14-year-old, wherever you were and
1:03:02you had this big, you know, brouhaha
1:03:04scene and you were put on probation and
1:03:07all the things, that 14-year-old wanted
1:03:10somebody to hold him and say, "It's
1:03:12okay.
1:03:14You're not bad for what happened." And
1:03:16in fact, it took, you know, as you said,
1:03:1717 years later whenever you're 31 and a
1:03:20therapist said, "No, you were abused."
1:03:22That was the first time you got a
1:03:24glimpse of like, "Oh, I didn't do
1:03:26anything wrong." Yeah.
1:03:30So again, your journey for healing
1:03:33perpetuates what? The idea that there's
1:03:36something to be healed.
1:03:39>> [laughter]
1:03:46>> Oh, man, Peter.
1:03:49Oh.
1:03:51I I So, okay. I was going to say I am
1:03:54healed, but that would just perpetuate
1:03:56that I was broken.
1:03:57I'm just I am.
1:04:00You are.
1:04:01And then depending on what lens you look
1:04:02through based on the narratives and the
1:04:04stories that we typically curate from
1:04:06our childhood, we will form a life to
1:04:10represent that.
1:04:11So if you're always looking to be
1:04:13healed, then you must say fundamentally
1:04:15there's something wrong with you. No,
1:04:16you went through what you went through
1:04:18and by the way, it's already finished.
1:04:20Right. It happened forever ago.
1:04:2322 years ago you had this moment with
1:04:25this 40-year-old woman. 22 like
1:04:28even physiologically, you're not the
1:04:30same
1:04:31person as you were when you started this
1:04:33conversation cuz cells have died and new
1:04:35ones have been born.
1:04:38That 14-year-old, with all due respect,
1:04:40he died, you know, 22 years ago.
1:04:43You're just holding on to the story as
1:04:44evidence to sustain your ego's identity.
1:04:50Yeah.
1:04:52It's got What What What does literally
1:04:54literally What does what you went
1:04:56through when you were 14 have to do with
1:04:58today?
1:04:59Nothing.
1:05:00Nothing. Now we can embrace the human
1:05:03part, which is it had everything to do
1:05:05with your identity until we just
1:05:07revealed it, which was it confirmed
1:05:11a story that you were bad, that you're
1:05:13dirty, there's something wrong with you.
1:05:15You know, we didn't go through all of
1:05:16them cuz they're bedfellows to me.
1:05:18But they're all sort of associated,
1:05:20they're relative, right? Yeah. Yeah.
1:05:23Being bad, dirty for what happened,
1:05:25there's something wrong with you. I
1:05:27would throw in you're not wanted, right,
1:05:29which is being sort of discarded from
1:05:31the church.
1:05:33So you can write all of these I mean
1:05:35this is recorded, you can watch it, but
1:05:36I I just want to share them with you so
1:05:38you can investigate the same process I
1:05:40took you through which is is it true
1:05:41that you're bad? No. Is it true that
1:05:43you're not wanted? No. Is it true that
1:05:45you're dirty? No. Do you see? Is it true
1:05:47there's something wrong with you? No,
1:05:48they're all lies.
1:05:50But they are all the fundamental
1:05:52addiction that was the precursor to the
1:05:54solutions you found to mitigate
1:05:57suffering. Wow, yes.
1:06:01And in the absence of those, my friend,
1:06:03if it's not true
1:06:05that you're not wanted, if it's not true
1:06:08that there's something wrong with you,
1:06:10if there's not true that you're bad, and
1:06:12if it's not true that you're dirty,
1:06:14they're all gone,
1:06:16you literally don't have those ways of
1:06:18relating to yourself.
1:06:21Who does Philip get to be?
1:06:27>> [laughter]
1:06:28>> I don't even know, man.
1:06:30It's so exciting.
1:06:31>> That's a very accurate answer. Yeah, you
1:06:33don't cuz I'm introducing you to a world
1:06:34with which you're not familiar. Welcome
1:06:36to 2.0 world, my friend.
1:06:38>> Yeah. Wow.
1:06:40Oh. Now I just want to write. I've been
1:06:43dealing with writer's block, but now I
1:06:45just Well, I'll tell you what right now,
1:06:46whatever it is that you do, and again,
1:06:48I'm not familiar with music, it just got
1:06:50exponentially more powerful. Oh,
1:06:52[ __ ] Can you feel that? Yeah.
1:06:56Yeah. And here's a really funny thing
1:06:58that I want you to understand and I
1:06:59can't categorically say is true. My
1:07:01guess is because when we shift our
1:07:04internal terrain, the way we view
1:07:05ourselves, and the fundamental
1:07:08way that we relate to who we are, like
1:07:11your energetic signature has shifted
1:07:14today. That informs your physiology.
1:07:17So, I've worked with people who may have
1:07:19been addicted to cigarettes for 40
1:07:22years. We had someone in my mastermind
1:07:23who smoked 120 cigarettes a day.
1:07:26After our conversation, that next week
1:07:28she had three, and the week after she
1:07:30hasn't touched a cigarette again.
1:07:32Wow.
1:07:32>> Because her physiology, the form that is
1:07:36informed by your view of yourself, now
1:07:39is going to have different
1:07:42proclivities, different tendencies,
1:07:43different uh preferences.
1:07:46So, I wouldn't be surprised, again, I
1:07:48don't know, it may not be instant, that
1:07:50your body no longer even wants
1:07:53marijuana, it doesn't like the taste of
1:07:56Dr. Pepper, and it certainly would never
1:07:59drive through a McDonald's drive
1:08:01drive-by.
1:08:03Yeah.
1:08:04Do you know
1:08:05>> Yeah. Do you Can you see that? Because
1:08:07Because your your your physical form as
1:08:10an extension of your energetic
1:08:11signature,
1:08:13it it doesn't align anymore. It's like
1:08:15it's physically impossible, not
1:08:17physically impossible, but for me to go
1:08:19into like a fast food place. Like it
1:08:21does it doesn't align with who I am in
1:08:24the way that I view myself, or the way
1:08:26that I revere the opportunity that is to
1:08:29be me as a human being.
1:08:31Right. It doesn't align anymore. Yeah.
1:08:34Do you see? Yeah.
1:08:36So, no longer those things no longer not
1:08:38bad, they never were, they were just the
1:08:40extension of the bad through which you
1:08:42viewed yourself.
1:08:45They They're just something that
1:08:47probably won't even resonate with the
1:08:49frequency, albeit only like 10, 20, 15
1:08:52minutes old, but as you continue to
1:08:55embody that,
1:08:56you won't be drawn to substances like
1:08:59that.
1:09:00Yeah.
1:09:01That makes sense.
1:09:02>> is that? Dude, that's awesome. That's
1:09:04what I wanted. Like I just want to drink
1:09:06water and eat produce and be healthy and
1:09:09feel good.
1:09:10Yeah. But I didn't want that before.
1:09:12Like I wanted it, but I didn't I I
1:09:14craved something different. And you're
1:09:16saying now with the new
1:09:18me, a new energy, a new frequency, that
1:09:21those things will just be not even
1:09:23relevant anymore because now I'm just a
1:09:25different person.
1:09:26>> You won't even attract them into your
1:09:27field because it's not who you be.
1:09:32It would.
1:09:33Yeah.
1:09:34>> And and again, just to make space for
1:09:36the phenomenal being you are, if
1:09:39occasionally there might be this like,
1:09:41"You know what? [ __ ] it. You're out with
1:09:42the family. I'm going to have a Dr.
1:09:43Pepper." And you haven't had one for a
1:09:45month or a few weeks. Like who cares? It
1:09:47doesn't have to know be bad. Do you know
1:09:49what I'm saying? Yeah, just is.
1:09:51It just is.
1:09:55Yes.
1:09:57I was going to say how do you feel, but
1:09:59I think it's pretty much Dude, you're
1:10:01the freaking man, bro. I love you so
1:10:03much, bro. Thank you.
1:10:06Thank you.
1:10:08You're a sweetheart. I I just feel so
1:10:10blessed to get to do what I get to do,
1:10:12especially with people like you who
1:10:13showed up, you know,
1:10:15borderline only an hour ago, who thought
1:10:17that there was something wrong with
1:10:18them, they were bad, they're broken,
1:10:19they have addictive problems, and had
1:10:21all sorts of shame and guilt to the
1:10:23absolute boundless joy that is now
1:10:26evident in every cell of your body. I
1:10:28mean, what a gift.
1:10:30Dude, yes. Oh.
1:10:34Yeah, you are a sweetheart, and the
1:10:36world just became a much brighter place
1:10:38because
1:10:39>> Oh. Philip didn't try and heal himself
1:10:42anymore. He held the part of him that
1:10:43got hurt once. Which everybody can
1:10:46relate to.
1:10:47And that's going to make you not only a
1:10:49better husband, a better father, a
1:10:51better friend, a better musician, and
1:10:53the people whose lives you've yet to
1:10:55touch, that don't even know you exist, I
1:10:57just want to acknowledge you for the
1:10:59difference you're going to make that you
1:11:01don't even know yet.
1:11:03Dude, thank you, Peter. Thank you.
1:11:05There's not one human being alive, you
1:11:07know, of the millions who will get to
1:11:09listen to this, who don't have their own
1:11:11form of addiction. It may not manifest
1:11:13in choosing substances as a solution to
1:11:15mitigate suffering, but it is
1:11:17nonetheless the addiction to thinking
1:11:19that they're not loved, that they're
1:11:21they're worthless, that they're not
1:11:22safe, that nobody loves them, that
1:11:24they're not going to be okay.
1:11:26And so, thank you for your courage and
1:11:28vulnerability, your absolute beauty of
1:11:30spirit that allowed you to share things
1:11:33that are going to touch the lives of
1:11:34millions of people in their own form of
1:11:35addiction that I hope after this
1:11:37conversation, they now get to transcend
1:11:39and see as a fundamental lie and that
1:11:41beneath that
1:11:43is the pure love,
1:11:45freedom, possibility of the essence of
1:11:48who we all are.
1:11:49>> [music]
1:12:00[music]