Full transcript
0:00Would you like a raise at your job? You want to have better friends. Well I'm
0:04guessing that more effective listening is one of the key things that you would
0:08need to get there. And in this video we're going to identify the six most
0:12common barriers to effective listening so that you can overcome them? Let's get
0:18into the details.
0:23Hello again friends. Alex Lyon here and this channel is here
0:26to help you increase your personal impact as a leader so that you can bring
0:32out all the best and the people around you. And part of good leadership is great
0:37listening. A lot of times if you're like me you have these barriers that come in
0:43that affect your listening skills in a negative way. So we're going to go
0:47through the six of the most common barriers and I'd like to ask you to see
0:51yourself in this list. Which ones of these are you most likely to get caught
0:55up in and I would love to hear your comments in that section below at the
0:58end of the video. So the first barrier is distractions. This is very common if you
1:04have your phone out on the desk when you're trying to listen you can very
1:08likely be preoccupied by that. If you are distracted by noise or another
1:12conversation coming from a different room, that can throw you off. For me my
1:17golden retriever is absolutely gorgeous and beautiful and fun and so if she's
1:21trying to play with me while I'm talking to my wife or my son then she's gonna be
1:26a distraction. So what you have to do is manage these distractions. Turn the phone
1:31off and put a completely way so you can't even see it. Close the door.
1:34Move to a different location. Put the dog in the other room for a little while so
1:39you can focus and not be distracted. The second most common barrier is
1:44preoccupation. It's very related to the first but in this case the preoccupation
1:48is happening in your mind. So you might be already thinking about something else
1:53when you enter the conversation. You might have anxiety about something. You might
1:56thinking about what you're gonna do in the future, in a little while. And that
2:00can preoccupy you. You can also do what we call "drift." So the person says one
2:05word and for whatever reason that pops out and then you go off in your mind you
2:09drift off in another direction on whatever that word
2:13means to you. That can be a huge distraction as well as preoccupation.
2:18The third most common problem and barrier is listening too much to the
2:22details and the facts in a conversation or if you're listening to some content
2:26in the workplace setting. So a lot of times we get focused on the details and
2:31when I try to follow every single move, I get a little bit lost and I lose the big
2:36picture. So the solution here is to back up a little bit and listen for the
2:40overall big picture and not worry so much about the details. You can always
2:45ask follow-up questions later if you've missed something but if you're listening
2:48for the overall message then you're much more likely to tune in and really focus
2:55on what the person is saying. Another barrier to effective listening is the
2:59topic maybe this topic is just boring to you. Maybe you don't care about it. Maybe
3:05it's something that you actively do not like. And that is going to be very
3:09difficult. The solution here is to develop a curiosity and just make your
3:14mind up that you're going to take an interest in what the other person is
3:18saying. There's a comedian Jerry Seinfeld, I quote him often in my videos because I
3:23think he's really funny. He also has a lot of insight but he says
3:26that if you're talking to someone who is completely boring and very ordinary you
3:31can still find something interesting in the most ordinary person if you just
3:35take an interest in what they're saying. So curiosity and taking an interest is a
3:41choice and that's one of the things that I will recommend to you if you're not
3:45really into the topic that the person is talking about. The next big barrier to
3:50effective listening is called the rebuttal tendency a lot of times instead
3:55of listening carefully we're figuring out what we're gonna say next and we're
3:59getting ready to jump in. And if we're thinking about what we're gonna say next
4:02and maybe we want to debate them or have a little comeback then we're not really
4:06gonna focus very much on what they're saying. So don't worry so much about what
4:10you're gonna say next. You can figure that out and there can be a pause in the
4:14conversation that's not a bad thing. That's often a good thing. You don't want
4:18to worry about that just focus on them and worry about your response for
4:22later. And the final barrier to effective listening is unfortunately sometimes
4:27it's the speaker. Sometimes the speaker him or herself is
4:31boring or uninteresting or they're doing something distracting that's
4:35throwing you off they say "um" a lot. Maybe they're a soft talker. Maybe you just
4:40can't get over something about them. And what I like to do in this situation is
4:44try not to be too judgmental of the speaker and I try to have a little bit
4:49of compassion for the person as a human being and not worry about how
4:54they're performing as a communicator, but just tune into who they are as a person
4:58and care a little bit more about them. And that helps me become a better
5:02listener in the moment and get over that barrier. So here's a list of barriers and
5:07I'm wondering where you see yourself in this list which one or more of these are
5:11you most likely to be distracted by or put off by? Which of these are your
5:15biggest barriers? I would like to hear that comment in that section below and I
5:21look forward to reading those. So thanks. God bless and I will see you in the next video.
5:25. . . list of barriers is going to affect you and make you . . .
5:32. . . and part of good leadership . . .