Full transcript
0:00I got married at a late age . Honestly ,
0:04in this day and age , is there really a
0:06set " proper " age for marriage ? You
0:09marry in your thirties if you do , and
0:11in your forties if you do . But there
0:15was a reason why I ended up marrying
0:18late . Was it because I couldn't find a
0:20partner I liked ? That wasn't it , either
0:23. It’s not like I spent my life
0:26working without ever seeing a man .
0:30Actually , I had a boyfriend I’d been
0:32seeing for three years since my early
0:34thirties . Three years isn't exactly a
0:37short-term fling . Naturally , I thought
0:41about marriage and we even talked about
0:43actually preparing for it . But while I
0:46thought dating just required the two of
0:49us to be happy , once marriage came up ,
0:52realistic issues started popping up one
0:55by one . Why were there so many things
0:57for others to nitpick about just two
0:59people getting married ? That’s when
1:01the real friction began . My father
1:04passed away early . So , my mother raised
1:07my younger brother and me all by
1:09herself . Nowadays , many people accept
1:12single-parent families without much
1:14thought , but the atmosphere wasn't like
1:16this when I was young . There were
1:20people who looked at me with pity , as
1:23if they’d discovered some poor child .
1:27Some people acted normal , but the
1:29moment I made a mistake , they would
1:32immediately bring up my parents . If I
1:35heard those things as a child , imagine
1:38how my mother felt . My mother really
1:41went through so much hardship . My
1:43father suddenly passed away from a
1:45chronic illness , and after that , Mom
1:47kept running the dry cleaners they used
1:49to operate together all on her own .
1:52Could it have been easy , suddenly
1:54taking on the work for two by herself ?
1:57But she couldn't just close the dry
1:59cleaners because it was hard . She had
2:01to feed and clothe my brother and me
2:04right away . No matter how much others
2:07looked down on us , Mom gritted her
2:09teeth and worked , determined not to let
2:11her children be raised that way , and
2:13that's how she raised us . My mother was
2:17someone who believed that just because
2:19our father wasn't there , her children
2:21shouldn't be looked down upon anywhere .
2:25Having raised my brother and me while
2:28steadily running the dry cleaners , she
2:31was the proudest mother in the world to
2:33me . But it seems that to the family of
2:36the boyfriend I’d been dating for a
2:38long time , how much money would be
2:40needed in the future was more important
2:42than the years my mother dedicated . " I
2:44don't think my parents are entirely
2:47right either . " " But since we're talking
2:50about marriage , we have to think about
2:52the practical side of things . " " Your
2:55mother still runs that dry cleaner ,
2:57right ? " " She won't be able to work
3:00forever as she gets older , so my
3:02parents are worried about whether she
3:04has any separate retirement savings . "
3:08But your parents aren't asking out of
3:10concern for my mom’s retirement ;
3:11they’re just worried that they might
3:13have to spend money on her later . Has
3:16my mom ever asked you for anything ?
3:19Have I ever said that you have to
3:21support my mom once we get married ? No ,
3:24it’s not about what’s happening
3:27right now . We’re just thinking about
3:29what might happen in the future .
3:31Honestly , your father has passed and
3:33your mother is alone ; if something
3:34happens later , could you really just
3:36look the other way ? In the end , we
3:38might be the ones who have to take care
3:40of things . That’s just the part my
3:42parents are concerned about . See ? It
3:45always comes back to that . They just
3:48don't want to deal with the potential
3:49expense of my mother being alone . After
3:51my father passed away , my mom ran a dry
3:53cleaner all by herself to raise two
3:55children . She’s never been the type
3:58to ask anyone for help . So , just
4:01because I want to marry you , does her
4:03whole life have to be put on trial to
4:06see if she’ll be a burden ? Why do you
4:09have to put it that way ? Who ever
4:11called your mother a burden ? I’m just
4:13saying this because I’m losing my
4:14mind being stuck in the middle . My
4:16parents keep opposing it , and I want to
4:18marry you , so I’m just asking if you
4:21could be a little more understanding .
4:24What else am I supposed to understand ?
4:26What exactly do you want from me ? Do
4:29you want me to sign a pledge saying I
4:30won't spend a dime on my mom after
4:32we're married ? At first , I thought it
4:35was a reasonable question since
4:37marriage is a reality . But as the
4:39conversation went on , it went beyond
4:42simple concern and shifted toward using
4:44that as an excuse to oppose the
4:46marriage . I never asked them to take
4:49responsibility for my mom , but they
4:51were so worried about her retirement
4:53even before we married ; they were a
4:54family that looked way too far into the
4:56future . In the end , I couldn't just
5:00keep backing down . I couldn't just
5:03stand by while they belittled my family
5:05just so we could get married . I kept
5:07clashing with my boyfriend , and the
5:10talk of preparing for our wedding
5:12didn't go any further . That’s how I
5:15ended up breaking up with the boyfriend
5:17I’d been seeing for three years ,
5:19leaving only scars behind . That
5:21happened when I was 34 years old . After
5:24breaking up with him , I started to
5:26question not just men , but the idea of
5:28dating itself . I became cynical about
5:31the whole concept of relationships . I
5:34didn't think all men were the same just
5:37because I met one wrong person , but
5:39after getting burned like that , my
5:41perspective on people couldn't be the
5:43same as before . I especially didn't
5:47feel like meeting anyone with the
5:49intention of marriage . I wondered what
5:52the point was of someone being nice to
5:54you while dating . At the end of the day
5:57, how someone acts in a critical moment
6:00is their true self . Above all , what
6:03drove me crazy was that " my mom " phrase
6:06he tacked onto the end of every single
6:08sentence . Whenever I asked for his own
6:13opinion , he'd start with " Well , my mom
6:15says , " so how could I not be frustrated
6:17? I didn't ask him to take my side
6:21unconditionally or go and fight with
6:22his mother . If she says something
6:24ridiculous , I just wanted him to say , "
6:26Mom , that's not quite right . " That’s
6:27the only thing I was asking him to do .
6:30" Well , she’s lived longer and knows
6:31more than we do , so she’s just saying
6:33that . " " And it’s not like everything
6:36my mom says is wrong , is it ? " " I don't
6:38mean to look down on your family . " " And
6:41you really need to stop taking
6:42everything my mom says the wrong way . "
6:45See ? " My mom " again . I just asked for
6:48your opinion , and not even ten seconds
6:50into your answer , your mother has
6:51already entered the chat . That’s just
6:54amazing . Honestly , at this point ,
6:56shouldn't we just book an extra seat
6:59for her whenever we go on a date ? Since
7:02her opinion is going to pop up no
7:03matter what we talk about , let’s just
7:05go as a trio from now on . On top of
7:08that , they were busy belittling me and
7:10even trying to assert dominance in what
7:12you’d call a power struggle . At first
7:15, I thought this was just part of
7:17getting married , but once I gave in ,
7:20they kept demanding more , as if testing
7:23to see how far I’d bend , and at some
7:25point , I started to come to my senses .
7:30If it’s this bad before marriage , I
7:31wondered how much worse it would get
7:33afterward , and I knew I couldn't live
7:35my whole life bowing down and being
7:37controlled . So , in the end , I broke
7:40free from not just the boyfriend , but
7:42that whole family . I’m talking about
7:45it so calmly now , but back then , since
7:47we’d been together for three years
7:49and were even preparing to marry , I
7:51think it felt even more devastating
7:53because I didn't want to give up easily
7:55. Anyway , after that , I focused hard on
7:59my career . I wiped thoughts of dating
8:02and marriage from my mind and just
8:04decided to live my life and take care
8:07of myself . I even swore to myself that
8:09I’d stay single forever . But my mom
8:12and younger brother kept trying to
8:14persuade me not to completely shut
8:16people out every time they saw me . They
8:20weren't telling me to get married right
8:22away , just to keep an open mind in case
8:24someone good came along . I wanted to
8:27lock the door and throw away the key ,
8:30but my family clearly felt differently .
8:33Since I was working at a decent
8:35mid-sized company , it’s not like I
8:37didn't have suitors . There were even
8:39people who only cared about my job when
8:41they asked to be set up . But whenever
8:43things progressed , the issue of
8:45providing for a widowed mother always
8:47came up . In the end , nothing ever
8:49really worked out . The company is fine
8:53but the mom is an issue , or I’m fine
8:55but the family background is an issue ;
8:57after going through that a few times , I
8:59really started to think about marriage
9:02very carefully . We live in an age where
9:04marriage is no longer a necessity . If
9:07there’s someone decent , you get
9:09married ; if not , you don’t , so I
9:11wondered why I had to keep going
9:13through all this just to get married .
9:16But my mom wanted me to build a stable
9:19family . The bigger problem was that she
9:22seemed to keep thinking it was her
9:24fault that I hadn't . No matter how much
9:26I told her otherwise , it seemed like a
9:28mother's heart isn't something you can
9:30control . So , even though I told her I
9:33was done with matchmaking , she kept
9:36finding new ones and pushing them onto
9:39me . It was while my mom kept pushing
9:42those matchmaking dates that I met my
9:45current husband . Actually , I was 39
9:48years old at that time . I had also
9:50already let go of any lingering
9:52attachment to marriage by then . At 39 ,
9:54it’s not like anyone's going to
9:57arrest you for not being married , and I
9:59didn't have the energy to struggle to
10:02meet someone at this point . I only went
10:05because my mom kept insisting I meet
10:07him just once , but life really is funny
10:10like that . My husband , whom I met
10:13without any expectations , felt like
10:17destiny to me . He said he came knowing
10:21all about my situation . But the things
10:24that had been such a bother in previous
10:27matchmaking dates , he accepted as if
10:30they were no big deal . " But I don’t
10:33really care about things like that . " "
10:36It’s not like your family having a
10:38hard time was something you chose ,
10:40right ? " " You aren't struggling now , and
10:42we can just earn well and live well
10:43together in the future . " Still , there
10:46are many people who don’t think that
10:48way when the talk of marriage actually
10:49comes up . At first , I also thought they
10:52were truly okay with it when they said
10:54they were . But later on , they would
10:56always start by asking if my mother
10:58lived alone . Actually , I grew up with a
11:01single mother , too . So I understand
11:04that heart well , and if I were to
11:05criticize that , I’d be spitting in my
11:07own face . Ha . I felt a bit strange
11:10hearing him say that . Everything I had
11:13to struggle to explain and make others
11:15understand every time I met someone , I
11:17didn't have to with this person . He was
11:20someone who stood on my side and spoke
11:22up for me from the very start . On top
11:24of that , he mentioned that since
11:25we’re both getting older , he wanted
11:27us to get married as soon as possible .
11:29When I first heard that , I did feel a
11:32bit uneasy . I mean , no matter our age ,
11:36I wondered if he wasn't rushing things
11:38a bit too much . Since I had been hurt
11:41so deeply by marriage once , how could I
11:44not think that ? But the trust my
11:46husband gave me was just so immense .
11:49Because of that , the feeling that he
11:52was rushing things quickly took a
11:54backseat . My mother-in-law was also
11:57incredibly happy to see me . She even
12:00went as far as to say she really wanted
12:02me to become her daughter-in-law . " I've
12:06wanted to see you ever since he first
12:08told me about you . " " Seeing you in
12:11person , you're even better . " " I really
12:13hope you two work out . " Oh my , Mother ,
12:16we haven't even known each other that
12:18long , why are you already saying things
12:20like that ? What’s wrong with that ?
12:22We’re both old enough to know better ,
12:24so why beat around the bush ? I’m only
12:27saying it because I like you . My oldest
12:30got married early and gave me heartache
12:33, and my youngest has been worrying me
12:35to death , so I'm very concerned .
12:38That’s why I’m just so happy right
12:40now . My husband had an older brother .
12:44He got married in his early thirties
12:46and had been married for quite a while ;
12:49he was my brother-in-law . My
12:52brother-in-law and his wife were the
12:54same age . They met in their late
12:57twenties and got married as soon as
12:59they saved up enough money in their
13:01thirties . My brother-in-law was five
13:04years older than us . They had one
13:07nephew , and instead of enjoying their
13:09honeymoon phase , they had a son who was
13:12already 13 . It was a boy . But seeing my
13:16nephew for the first time , I realized
13:18you really can’t ignore the power of
13:20genetics . He looked exactly like my
13:23brother-in-law . My brother-in-law had a
13:26gentle look , and he had an image very
13:28similar to my husband's . My husband
13:31also had a face as gentle as his
13:32personality . So , seeing the three of
13:35them standing together was quite a
13:36sight . With my husband , brother-in-law ,
13:39and nephew , it was like they were
13:41wearing signs saying they were from the
13:43same family . They looked so much alike
13:46that anyone could tell they were family
13:48. Besides looking alike , my husband was
13:52incredibly fond of his nephew . It
13:56wasn't just the usual affection for a
13:58nephew ; from where I stood , it seemed
14:00quite excessive . Taeyoung , this is what
14:03you said you wanted last time , right ? I
14:06forgot the name , so I saved a picture
14:08and bought it for you . Go ahead , open
14:11it up . I spent so much time asking the
14:13staff at the store just to get this .
14:16Whoa , Uncle , how did you remember this ?
14:20Awesome ! Are you really giving this to
14:22me ? Uncle is the best . You're the only
14:25one for me , Uncle .
14:27Only when you want something , huh ?
14:29Whenever I call , you hang up saying
14:30you're playing games , enough already .
14:33Next time you want something , tell your
14:35mom and dad first . Since I always buy
14:38you things , you only think about what
14:40you can get out of me when you see me .
14:42But Mom and Dad won't buy me anything
14:44no matter how much I ask . Uncle , Uncle ,
14:47look at this . It moves even when I do
14:50this .
14:51Ooh , Taeyoung , looking cool ! Hey , stay
14:53right there . Uncle will take your
14:55picture . Seeing that , I thought he
14:58would definitely be a great father when
15:01we have our own children . He’s not
15:03someone who gets annoyed by kids . Since
15:07he’s the type to take such good care
15:09of them , I never had a single doubt
15:10about that . Whenever Children's Day
15:14rolled around , I never forgot to get a
15:16gift for my niece , and I made sure to
15:17visit my brother-in-law's place to see
15:19her at least twice a month . Even I
15:21sometimes wondered why he was so
15:24obsessed with his niece . But it was
15:26still heartwarming to see . We were
15:29planning to get married , and I was
15:31thinking that if we wanted children , we
15:34needed to start soon . After all , I
15:37wasn't 20 or 30 anymore ; I was
15:38approaching forty , so I couldn't help
15:41but feel a sense of urgency . But seeing
15:45my husband being so family-oriented
15:47made me think that starting parenthood
15:49a bit late wouldn't be so bad if we
15:51were doing it together . I really loved
15:54that my husband was so fond of children
15:56. I bragged about it to my mom so much ,
15:59you have no idea . " Mom , he really seems
16:03to love kids . " " You should see how much
16:06he dotes on his niece . " " He buys her
16:09Children's Day gifts without me even
16:11asking , and he's always suggesting we
16:13go visit her at his brother's place . " "
16:17I'm so glad that if we have a kid later
16:19, he doesn't seem like the type to find
16:21childcare annoying and dump it all on
16:23me . " " You were the one who said you
16:26weren't going to get married , and now
16:28that the date is set , you come here
16:30every single day to brag about your
16:31husband . " " Oh , that's wonderful . " " Liking
16:35kids isn't something you can just force
16:36. " " If he's like that with his niece ,
16:39he'll surely be even better with his
16:40own children . " " Why are you being so
16:43grumpy just because I'm getting married
16:44? " " So , you know what ? " " Mom , I want to
16:47have two kids . " " Given my age , I'm not
16:50sure if even one will be easy , but I
16:52think it would be nice to have two of
16:53them growing up in a lively house . " " He
16:56said he wants two as well , so in our
16:58hearts , we're already planning for two .
17:00" " Oh , my . " " You're already there . " " Mom ,
17:03you're all set . " " Well , as long as you
17:05two are on the same page , that's all
17:06that matters . " " Just don't go dumping
17:08both of them on me later when it gets
17:10tough . " I once brought that up at my
17:12brother-in-law's house , too . I
17:15mentioned without much thought that we
17:17wanted to have children after we
17:18married , but my sister-in-law's
17:20expression wasn't very good . Her
17:23reaction was so strange that I wondered
17:25if I had said something wrong . But I
17:28couldn't just ask her right there why
17:30she was acting like that , so I let it
17:32slide . On the way home that evening , I
17:36casually asked my husband about it . " By
17:40the way , didn't you think your
17:41sister-in-law's reaction was a bit
17:43weird when I said I wanted two kids ? " " I
17:46wondered if I’d spoken out of turn . " "
17:49She was fine at first , but when that
17:50came up , her face suddenly hardened ,
17:52and she kept saying that things don't
17:54always go according to plan . " " Ah , I
17:56should have told you about that
17:58beforehand . " " My brother and
18:00sister-in-law have been trying to have
18:02a second child for a long time . " " It’s
18:04not just been a few years ; they've been
18:06trying for almost ten , but it just
18:08hasn't happened . " " I heard they haven't
18:10completely given up yet and are even
18:12preparing for IVF . " " Oh , is that so ? " I
18:16thought you were planning to have only
18:18one , since Tae-woong is already 13 . I
18:22didn't know that , so I was excitedly
18:24talking about how we wanted two , which
18:26must have been hard for her to hear .
18:30You didn't know , and she didn't say
18:33anything mean to you , did she ? She just
18:36must have mixed feelings hearing that
18:38since she's been trying for so long
18:39without success . I guess so . Still ,
18:43since she's been trying for 10 years , I
18:45really hope it works out for her this
18:46time . But honestly , I was a little
18:50confused too . She was 44 years old . Her
18:56oldest is already 13 and grown up , so I
18:58couldn't understand why she'd want to
19:01start over with a newborn in her mid -
19:0440s . The kids would be over a decade
19:08apart , so I wondered if she really
19:11needed a second child that badly . But I
19:15have no right to interfere in someone
19:17else's family affairs , do I ? Even if I
19:20couldn't understand why they wanted a
19:22second child , it wasn't my business
19:25anyway . Anyway , we had a smooth wedding
19:29ceremony . So many people came that day
19:32to bless us . I was the one who said I
19:35wouldn't get married . I said I'd live
19:36alone . I had said that so confidently ,
19:40but actually wearing a wedding dress
19:42felt so strange . My mom was beaming all
19:47day , and I was so busy greeting people ,
19:49taking photos , and smiling that I don't
19:52even know how the ceremony went by . And
19:56as for what happened before , she came
19:58to congratulate me , maybe because it
20:00was just the situation and not that she
20:02actually disliked me . Congratulations
20:05on your wedding . It must be so hectic
20:07today . Still , the ceremony went well ,
20:10and it was nice to see you two together
20:12. We're truly one family now . Thank you
20:16, sister-in-law . It's been so hectic
20:18since the morning that I couldn't even
20:19greet you properly . I'm so happy you
20:22came to congratulate me . I still feel a
20:26bit dazed , wondering if I'm really
20:27married . It's always like that on the
20:30day . I don't remember anything from my
20:34wedding day either . Only when you look
20:37at the photos later . You'll realize , "
20:39Oh , that's how it was . " Just enjoy
20:41today and don't worry about anything .
20:44Yes . Oh , and I heard from my husband .
20:48That you and your husband are planning
20:50for a second baby . I hope it works out
20:53for both of us and we have kids around
20:55the same time . It would be nice to rely
20:58on each other when things get tough .
21:00Since this is my first , I'd have a lot
21:02to learn from you too . I hope we both
21:05have good news soon . Oh , yes . That
21:09would be nice . I thanked her and
21:11brought up what I had said before again
21:13. That it would be great if we both
21:16started raising our kids around the
21:17same time . But my sister-in-law didn't
21:21seem too happy to hear that . For a
21:24second , I wondered if I’d said
21:25something I shouldn't have . Still , it
21:28was my wedding day . I couldn't just
21:31obsess over her expression all day , so
21:33I decided to just focus on the good
21:35things and move on . And it was truly
21:38wonderful . The wedding ceremony itself
21:41was so happy . In the past , I got hurt
21:44so much , hearing all sorts of things
21:45just for trying to prepare for a
21:47wedding that didn't even happen . But as
21:50I stood there next to my husband after
21:53the real ceremony , I remembered those
21:56times , but strangely , they felt like
21:58nothing . Back then , it felt like the
22:01world was ending , but looking back now ,
22:03it was just something that passed . So ,
22:06I had a very grand thought all by
22:08myself . Oh , I must have gone through
22:11those hard times to meet my husband now
22:13. When people are happy , their thoughts
22:15become really simple . Everything good
22:18feels like fate , and it feels like
22:20there was a reason for all the past
22:22suffering . Thinking that way , I just
22:25felt grateful whenever I looked at my
22:27husband . Above all , we were a perfect
22:30match in every little thing . That was
22:32the case even when we chose our
22:33honeymoon destination . Vietnam was the
22:36place we both wanted to go . I mean ,
22:38since even that matched , imagine how
22:41happy I must have been inside . We ended
22:44up going on our honeymoon , and while I
22:47wished we could have left a day after
22:49the wedding , plane tickets didn't
22:51exactly work out as we wanted . In the
22:55end , we had to leave for our honeymoon
22:57almost right after the ceremony . And
22:59there , I experienced something I
23:02couldn't have even imagined . Well ,
23:04thinking about it now , maybe it wasn't
23:07exactly something I couldn't have
23:08imagined . They say people should live
23:11with some doubt , but back then , I had
23:13nothing to be suspicious of . I met a
23:16good person , my mother-in-law liked me ,
23:19and we even held the wedding without
23:21any major issues . If things go too
23:25smoothly , one might think it’s
23:28strange , but how can you think like
23:30that when you’re so happy ? You just
23:35enjoy it . Anyway , since we arrived at
23:38our exciting honeymoon destination , I
23:40thought all we had to do was enjoy our
23:42time together . We didn't even have any
23:45plans for the first day . I was so
23:48exhausted after the flight . Wow , I
23:51didn't think I'd say this on my
23:53honeymoon , but right now , I can't see
23:55anything , Vietnam or otherwise . I’m
23:58seriously so sleepy . Can’t we just go
24:01to our hotel first ? Let’s lie down in
24:04bed for an hour or two after checking
24:06in , then head out . I was thinking the
24:09exact same thing . If we try to do
24:12everything on the first day , we’ll
24:14both collapse on the street . Let’s
24:17just go in , get some sleep , and head
24:19out when we wake up . Even if we miss
24:21something today , we’re here for a few
24:22more days . It was our honeymoon in
24:25Vietnam , and since I just wanted to get
24:27some sleep , we checked into the hotel
24:29and fell right asleep . We didn't wake
24:33up until late afternoon , and not
24:35wanting to waste the day , we went out
24:37to a cafe and checked out the nearby
24:40beach . We didn't do anything
24:43spectacular on the first day . But I was
24:45happy anyway . Just the fact that I was
24:48on my honeymoon with my husband made me
24:50happy . After wandering around , we
24:52returned to the hotel for dinner , and
24:54by then , it was already dark outside .
24:57We had slept during the day , but that
25:00was just because we were exhausted , not
25:02for any romantic reason . So , once
25:05evening came , I finally realized this
25:07was officially our first night as a
25:09married couple . The wedding was over
25:12and we were finally on our honeymoon .
25:14Being alone in the hotel at night made
25:17my heart flutter for no reason . I
25:21thought it was silly to feel this way
25:22at my age , but I guess a honeymoon is a
25:24honeymoon . So , we set the mood to enjoy
25:28a glass of wine . Then my husband went
25:31into the bathroom to wash up first . I
25:34was left alone , looking at the wine and
25:38the room , wondering what kind of
25:41surprise would make him happy . When I
25:45actually tried to think of something , I
25:47started worrying about everything . I
25:49didn't want to make too much of a fuss ,
25:53but I also didn't want to just sit
25:56there on our first night . As I was
25:59pondering over things , my husband's
26:01phone suddenly started vibrating . At
26:05first , I thought it was my phone . But
26:08it turned out to be his . I thought it
26:12would stop ringing soon . I had no
26:15reason to go through his phone while on
26:18our honeymoon . But it didn't stop at
26:22one ring ; it kept ringing while he was
26:25in the shower . I wondered who would be
26:29calling at this hour , so I took a quick
26:32look . The name on the screen was my
26:35mother-in-law . The moment I saw that ,
26:39all my thoughts about planning a
26:41surprise vanished . She knew we were on
26:45our honeymoon , so she wasn't the type
26:48to call repeatedly like this . I started
26:51to worry that something might have
26:53happened . I was about to pick up the
26:57phone when the call disconnected . As I
27:01was deciding whether to call her back ,
27:04a text message came through . The
27:08content of the message was truly
27:10bizarre . You must get her pregnant .
27:14Pregnancy is the only answer . Do your
27:16best . Do you understand ? That was
27:18exactly what it said . I couldn't
27:20understand it at first when I saw it . I
27:23just stared at the message , wondering
27:26what it meant . I could concede that
27:29maybe she just wanted a grandchild , but
27:32the way it was phrased was baffling .
27:36The strange thing was that my
27:37mother-in-law had never once pressured
27:39me about getting pregnant . In fact , she
27:43told me that family planning was
27:45something we should decide on our own
27:46and that she respected my opinion .
27:49Since I’m not exactly young , you’d
27:51think she would’ve brought up kids ,
27:53but she never pestered me first . But
27:56why would that same mother-in-law tell
27:58my husband he absolutely must get me
28:00pregnant , and why would she say
28:02there’s no other answer but pregnancy
28:04? It just doesn’t make any sense . I
28:08couldn't think any further about the
28:10text because the water in the bathroom
28:12stopped , and my husband came out after
28:14showering . So , I hurriedly put the
28:18phone back where it was and acted like
28:21I hadn’t seen a thing . I’m all done
28:26. You go ahead and wash up now . You
28:28said you were tired earlier , are you
28:30feeling okay now ? Hmm . I feel better
28:32after sleeping for a bit . Oh , and while
28:35you were showering , your mom kept
28:37calling . It rang a few times and then
28:40stopped . I hope everything is alright ,
28:42right ? You should check just in case
28:44it’s something urgent . Why would Mom
28:48call at this hour ? It’s probably
28:50nothing . I pretended I hadn’t seen
28:54the text and went to shower , but my
28:56mind was incredibly cluttered . Just a
29:00while ago , I was excited and nervous
29:02about our first night , but now those
29:04three lines of text wouldn’t leave my
29:06head . The part about there being no
29:09other answer but pregnancy really stuck
29:10with me . Still , I didn’t want to jump
29:13to wild conclusions based on one text
29:15message . I decided to wait and see what
29:18my husband had to say . So , after I
29:21showered , I acted like nothing was
29:23wrong and asked what his mother had
29:25said . Why did your mother call ? Was she
29:30calling to ask if we arrived safely on
29:32our honeymoon ? Yeah . It’s nothing .
29:34Just asking if we arrived safely . She
29:36said since we’re on our honeymoon , we
29:38shouldn’t worry about anything and
29:40just have a good time . I guess Mom
29:42called a few times for no reason and
29:44worried you . Everything is fine , so
29:46don’t worry about it . Honey , why
29:48don’t we order something to get in
29:50the mood ? We didn't get to eat properly
29:52because we left in such a rush . As he
29:54tried to change the subject , that was
29:56the moment things felt off . If I
29:59hadn’t seen the text , I might have
30:01just brushed it off . But I had already
30:04seen the content . His mother clearly
30:06said he must get me pregnant no matter
30:08what . She said there was no other
30:11answer but pregnancy , so since he was
30:13saying something else , it was clear
30:14that there was something going on
30:16between them that I didn't know about .
30:19I didn't want to make him clam up by
30:21pretending I knew already , so I decided
30:23to keep pretending I hadn't seen it . I
30:26buried my uneasy feelings deep inside
30:29and acted like everything was normal in
30:32front of him . And so , with that text
30:35message lingering in a corner of my
30:37heart , I finished the rest of our
30:39honeymoon . Ever since we got back from
30:42our honeymoon , I’ve been keeping a
30:44close eye on my husband and
30:45mother-in-law . It’s not like I was
30:48blatantly digging for information .
30:50Since they didn’t know I’d seen
30:52that text message , there was no reason
30:54for me to let it slip . I just pretended
30:58not to know anything , watching to see
31:00if they’d bring up pregnancy again ,
31:02if my mother-in-law would pressure me
31:04to have a baby , or if my husband would
31:06act differently . But strangely enough ,
31:11nothing happened . Our daily lives were
31:14so peaceful that I wondered if I’d
31:16been nervous for nothing . My
31:19mother-in-law was the same as ever , and
31:22so was my husband . If anything , the
31:24lack of any incident just made me feel
31:26even more uneasy . I would have
31:29preferred if someone had done something
31:31so I could either understand why or
31:33confront them , but with only that text
31:35from our honeymoon stuck in my memory ,
31:37I couldn’t find any answers . Still , I
31:41didn’t want to come clean to my
31:43husband and tell him I’d seen his
31:45text . He’d already lied to me once
31:49before . So , I figured it was better to
31:52wait a little longer rather than
31:53showing my hand first . A month went by ,
31:57then two , and still nothing happened .
32:01But strangely , time didn’t make that
32:04uneasy feeling go away . So , exactly
32:07three months in , I decided to stir the
32:09pot . I wasn't actually pregnant , but I
32:12lied and said that I was . I never
32:14thought I’d be the type to tell a lie
32:17like this . But I figured if there was a
32:20reason my mother-in-law had been so
32:22insistent about me getting pregnant ,
32:24she’d react in some way once I told
32:26her I was . I felt like I just had to
32:29see for myself if there was something
32:31going on or not . I have something to
32:34tell you today , but don't get too
32:36excited yet because it's not 100 %
32:37certain . My period was a bit late , so I
32:41just took a pregnancy test . And it
32:44looks like it came out as two lines . I
32:46need to go to the hospital to confirm
32:49it , but I think I’m pregnant . Really ?
32:53Wait , does that mean it happened right
32:55on our honeymoon ? It’s only been
32:57three months since we got married . Wow ,
33:00hold on , are you really pregnant ? Calm
33:03down for a second . I said I haven't
33:05confirmed it at the hospital yet , I
33:07just took a test . I wasn't sure if I
33:10should say anything , but I wanted to
33:12tell you first . Should we tell your
33:15mother too ? Yeah . Of course . My mom
33:18will be thrilled when she finds out . I
33:21mean , if you're really pregnant , we had
33:23a baby right after we got married . I
33:25don’t know what I should be doing
33:27first all of a sudden . When are you
33:28going to the hospital ? I'll go . So , I
33:31told my husband and my mother-in-law
33:33that I thought I was pregnant , even
33:35though I was lying . Inside , I was a
33:38little nervous . I wondered if I was
33:41overreacting , and if nothing was truly
33:43wrong , then I was just being sensitive
33:46over a single text message during my
33:48honeymoon . But , contrary to my worries ,
33:52the answer came very quickly . It was
33:54that afternoon . Suddenly , my
33:57sister-in-law showed up at our house .
34:00And she even brought her son , Tae-woong
34:02, with her . When I opened the door , her
34:05expression was completely different
34:06from usual . Her face was stiff and she
34:10was fuming , so I had no choice but to
34:13ask her what was going on .
34:16Sister-in-law , what brings you here ?
34:18You even brought Tae-woong . But why the
34:21look on your face ? Did something happen
34:25? Sister-in-law , you raise Tae-woong
34:27from now on . I’ve packed the
34:30essentials , so I’ll send the rest of
34:32his things later . Anyway , I have no
34:35intention of taking Tae-woong back , so
34:37that’s that . What ? Sister-in-law ,
34:41what are you suddenly saying ? Why
34:44should we take Tae-woong ? Is this
34:45because you have an emergency and need
34:47us to watch him for a few days ? Wait ,
34:49sister-in-law , what are you doing ? You
34:52should have called me first . What are
34:55you thinking , bringing him here like
34:56this ? Please , don't do this in front of
34:59the child . Take Tae-woong back with you
35:01. Let’s talk about this with my
35:03husband later . Why ? Did I come when I
35:06shouldn't have ? And my brother-in-law ,
35:09how can you tell me to take Tae-woong
35:11back ? You know perfectly well how much
35:14I’ve endured until now . Enough . I
35:18can't take it anymore , which is why I
35:20came here today . At that moment , I
35:23realized that my sister-in-law wasn't
35:26just talking nonsense . My husband
35:29didn't look like someone hearing this
35:31for the first time . Instead of asking
35:35what kind of nonsense she was talking
35:37about like I was , he looked flustered
35:39and kept stuttering , " Sister-in-law ... "
35:41Sister-in-law , please , just go back
35:43today . Doing this won't solve anything ,
35:47and it will just make things worse . Oh ,
35:50enough . Why do you keep telling me to
35:52go back , brother-in-law ? Hey , if I’ve
35:54raised him all this time , can’t you
35:56raise him now ? I heard you're pregnant .
35:59I tried everything for 10 years to have
36:01a child and couldn't , which broke my
36:03heart , yet you get pregnant right after
36:05getting married at that age . I’ve
36:08been stuck raising a child who isn't
36:10even mine for 13 years , so how can I
36:12not be furious knowing you’re about
36:15to have your own child and live happily
36:17? I couldn't fathom what she was saying
36:20. She clearly said it was my husband's
36:23child . That meant Tae-woong , who I
36:26thought was my nephew , was actually my
36:28husband's son . It made so little sense
36:31that I couldn't even process it . But I
36:34wasn't the only one . Tae-woong ,
36:37standing next to me , had turned pale in
36:39an instant . At 13 , he’s old enough to
36:42understand everything now . He’s not
36:45at an age where he can’t understand
36:48why his mom is angry . It’s absurd
36:51enough that his parents weren’t his
36:53real parents , but that his biological
36:55father was the man he called " uncle "
36:57his whole life — does that even make
36:59any sense ? I was stunned , and so was
37:03Tae-woong , so we couldn't say a word ,
37:05but my sister-in-law just kept pouring
37:07out what she wanted to say . I’ve
37:11raised him for thirteen years , so now
37:13it’s your turn . You’re already
37:16pregnant anyway , right ? This works out
37:18well . You said you wanted to raise two
37:20kids . You should raise your own
37:22husband's child . I already raised the
37:24hard part , so how easy will it be for
37:26you ? Sister-in-law , please calm down .
37:30The child is right here listening to
37:31everything . Tae-woong , go into your
37:33room for a moment . Honey , look at me .
37:37From now on , answer my questions
37:38directly without saying anything else .
37:40Is Tae-woong really your son ? I
37:44honestly thought I was having a
37:45nightmare . My husband already had a
37:49child , and the boy I knew as my nephew
37:52was that child ? What kind of crazy ,
37:55impossible dream is this ? So , I had
37:57nothing more to ask my sister-in-law . I
38:00immediately grabbed my husband . I
38:03demanded he tell me everything from
38:06start to finish — what on earth she was
38:09talking about and if Tae-woong was
38:11truly his son . But the moment I looked
38:15at my husband’s face , I realized the
38:17answer was as good as given . If it had
38:20really been the first time he heard it ,
38:22he would have jumped up before I did .
38:24But my husband couldn't do that . He
38:27couldn't speak for a long time , and
38:30only then did he start telling me the
38:32truth . It wasn’t that I wanted to
38:36hide it from you forever , but this has
38:39been so complicated within the family
38:41for so long that I didn’t know when
38:44or how to tell you . So , please don't
38:47get excited and just listen to my side
38:48of the story first . He said he had a
38:51girlfriend he dated for a long time
38:53before he met me . But he said he fought
38:56with that girlfriend every single day .
38:59At first , since they had been together
39:01so long , he even considered marriage ,
39:03but as the fighting continued , he
39:05realized marriage wouldn't work out . He
39:09loved her , but he didn't have the
39:11confidence to live with her for the
39:12rest of his life fighting constantly ,
39:15so he decided he would just date her
39:17and then end it . But maybe she sensed
39:20his feelings , because one day she told
39:23him she was pregnant and insisted they
39:25get married . My husband told her back
39:29then that even if he died , he couldn't
39:30live with her if it meant fighting like
39:32that , so he refused to marry her . He
39:35told her they should break up and also
39:37suggested that they terminate the
39:38pregnancy . He said he told her that
39:42they still had a lot of life ahead of
39:43them , so they should just end it here
39:45and live their own separate lives . But
39:48his ex-girlfriend ended up giving birth
39:50to the child alone . And the child born
39:53that way was Tae-woong . The most absurd
39:55part was what came next . My husband's
39:58ex-girlfriend suddenly gave birth to a
40:00child and dumped it on my in-laws . She
40:03said she couldn't raise the child and
40:06just left it there , so suddenly my
40:08in-laws had my husband's child . At that
40:11time , my brother-in-law and his wife
40:14were already married , but they hadn't
40:16been able to have any children . Seeing
40:19that , my mother-in-law suggested that
40:21maybe they should be the ones to raise
40:23Tae-woong instead . My brother-in-law
40:27hesitated at first , but since it was
40:29family and they wanted a child , he
40:31agreed to raise him , and that’s how
40:34they took Tae-woong and raised him as
40:36their own son . Brother-in-law , you need
40:40to get your facts straight . You talk as
40:42if I just jumped at the chance to take
40:43him in because I wanted to . You know
40:45exactly what your mother said to me .
40:48She told me not to drag things out when
40:49I couldn't even have a child . She said
40:52he was family blood anyway and he’d
40:54be like my own child once I started
40:56raising him ; the three of them ganged
40:58up on me and made it seem like my
41:00inability to conceive was my fault , so
41:02what was I supposed to say ? It wasn't
41:06like some leftover household item that
41:08she was telling someone to take if they
41:10needed it — telling me to just raise a
41:12child like that , she didn't seem like
41:13the mother-in-law I used to know .
41:17Tae-woong was even registered under
41:19their family records , so he grew up
41:21knowing the two of them as his parents ,
41:24and he lived thinking my husband , his
41:26real father , was just his uncle . Now
41:30everything makes sense . Watching you
41:33cherish Tae-woong so dearly , I thought
41:35you were just a person who really loved
41:37kids , but you were that way because he
41:39was your own son . I even bragged to my
41:42mom that you’d be a great dad when we
41:44eventually have our own , it’s just
41:46ridiculous . Even if we decided to raise
41:50him as my brother's son , he's still my
41:51child ; how could I just act like I
41:53didn't know ? That’s exactly what’s
41:56so creepy about it — you didn't have
41:58the guts to admit you were the father ,
41:59but you couldn't stay away because you
42:01loved your kid so much , so you just
42:03hovered around acting like an uncle .
42:05Only then did all the things I thought
42:07were strange start coming back to me
42:08one by one . I saw with my own eyes how
42:11terribly my husband cherished Tae-woong
42:14. When I saw him constantly fussing
42:17over birthdays and Children's Day , I
42:20thought he just loved kids , and when I
42:23told him he’d be a great father , he
42:25just stayed silent . Have you ever seen
42:29such a cowardly , deceitful swindler ?
42:31You know that text my mother-in-law
42:33sent . " You must get her pregnant , no
42:35matter what . " " Pregnancy is the only
42:37answer . " I wondered back then what
42:40exactly that was the answer to , but now
42:42I understand why that message felt so
42:45unsettling . The " answer " they were
42:47thinking of was my pregnancy . It seems
42:50they thought that if I got pregnant ,
42:53they would have me trapped . Then they
42:56were planning to come clean and tell me
42:59Tae-woong was actually my husband's
43:01biological son , put him on my husband's
43:03family register , and expect me to raise
43:05him . So , they couldn't just come out
43:08and tell me right after we got married .
43:11Because I might have freaked out and
43:12run away if I had known the truth . They
43:15needed to wait until I was pregnant
43:17with my husband's child so I couldn't
43:19escape . But as luck would have it , I
43:22saw that message . A message that was
43:24deeply unsettling and strange . That's
43:28why I pretended not to know after we
43:29returned from our honeymoon , waiting
43:31for an opening , and even lied about
43:33being pregnant three months later .
43:37Honestly , I didn't think something
43:39would come out of it this quickly . I
43:42was just planning to confront them if
43:44my mother-in-law or husband acted
43:46differently than usual . But it was my
43:50sister-in-law who immediately bit the
43:52bait when I mentioned the pregnancy .
43:56She must have been jealous that I got
43:58pregnant on the first try , while she
43:59couldn't conceive despite all her
44:01efforts . But does that give her any
44:04reason to drag Tae-woong over and dump
44:06him on me ? I never criticized her for
44:10not having kids , and I certainly never
44:13asked her to raise Tae-woong for me . I
44:16think my mother-in-law originally
44:18intended to wait a little longer . She
44:21told her not to bring Tae-woong
44:23immediately just because I said I was
44:26pregnant , but to wait until I was truly
44:28trapped before forcing her nephew onto
44:31me . But my sister-in-law ignored her
44:35and rushed to our house . As soon as she
44:39heard I was pregnant , her pent-up
44:41frustration must have exploded , so she
44:43brought Tae-woong along and told me to
44:45raise him since he's my husband's son .
44:48It's just absurd , isn't it ? They had a
44:52whole plan to deceive me , but because
44:54they weren't on the same page ,
44:56everything came to light . So , I had no
44:59reason to hide it anymore either . I
45:01told them right away that I wasn't
45:03pregnant . But it’s a good thing my
45:06sister-in-law came today . Thanks to her
45:09, all my questions have been answered .
45:12So , let me tell you the truth as well .
45:14The fact that I was pregnant was a lie
45:16from the start . I never went to the
45:18hospital , and I never even saw two
45:19lines on a pregnancy test . What ? Wait a
45:22minute . What are you talking about ? You
45:25clearly said you thought you were
45:26pregnant . Why would you lie about
45:28something like that ? Did you use a
45:31pregnancy to test us ? Yes , I tested you
45:33. On the first day of our honeymoon ,
45:36you got a text from your mother saying
45:38we absolutely had to conceive . It said
45:40pregnancy was the only answer , but you
45:43lied to me and said your mother told us
45:46to enjoy our honeymoon . Then what was I
45:48supposed to believe ? So I kept my mouth
45:50shut for three months , watched you , and
45:52then decided to throw out the pregnancy
45:53claim . I wanted to see what would come
45:56out if I said I was pregnant , given
45:57that I had seen that text . Damn it , how
46:00could you tell a lie like that , no
46:02matter what ? I was so happy because I
46:04really thought you were pregnant ; you
46:06should have just asked me if you had
46:08seen the text . Why are you testing me
46:11like this ? Are you really asking me why
46:13I’m questioning your lies ? You hid
46:17your own child and married me , you jerk
46:20. This is a fraudulent marriage . It’s
46:24not like you just forgot to mention it ;
46:26the whole family knew and planned to
46:28wait until I got pregnant to reveal it .
46:33In my eyes , you were tricking me into
46:35this marriage from the very start . My
46:38husband kept saying it was all a
46:39misunderstanding . He claimed he didn't
46:42marry me to deceive me , but since
46:44Tae-woong had been living as his
46:46brother's son for so long , he didn't
46:48want to complicate things before the
46:50wedding . But that sounded even more
46:53ridiculous to me . If it really had
46:56nothing to do with anything , why would
46:58you plan to put Tae-woong back on your
47:00family register after I got pregnant ?
47:03That’s not a misunderstanding ;
47:05that’s intentional deception . If I
47:08had known before the wedding , I would
47:10have reconsidered the marriage entirely
47:11, yet the whole family conspired to
47:13hide it — how can you call that a
47:14misunderstanding ? So , I didn't just
47:18stop at arguing with words . I went
47:20ahead and met with a lawyer to talk
47:22things over . At first , I kept calling
47:25it a " fraudulent marriage , " but after
47:28consulting , I realized what I was angry
47:30about and how the law handles it are a
47:32bit different . I explained that my
47:35husband intentionally hid his
47:37biological child , who existed before
47:40our marriage , and that the whole family
47:43planned to reveal it only after I got
47:45pregnant . Ultimately , I was told that
47:48instead of hanging onto the simple term
47:51" fraudulent marriage , " it would be
47:53better to frame it as a grave
47:55circumstance that makes continuing the
47:57marriage impossible due to this
47:59deception . So , from that point on , I
48:02had no intention of listening to his
48:04excuses . I had already started looking
48:08into how to legally settle things one
48:10step at a time . Once I met with a
48:13lawyer and tried to end our marriage ,
48:15that family started pointing fingers at
48:18each other . I told you clearly to wait
48:22just a little longer . You only made up
48:25that you were pregnant . It wasn't even
48:28confirmed by a doctor ; we were going to
48:30figure it out ourselves and tell you ,
48:32but look what you've done by charging
48:34in there with the kid ! You endured for
48:37over ten years , couldn't you wait a few
48:39more days instead of blowing things up
48:41like this ? Are you really saying this
48:44is my fault , Mother ? If you hadn't
48:48brought Tae-woong to me in the first
48:50place and told me to raise him , I
48:52wouldn't have spent 13 years raising
48:54someone else's child . And you ,
48:57brother-in-law , you knew he was your
48:59son , yet you just stood by acting like
49:02an uncle . Now that everything’s blown
49:04up , why are you all making me out to be
49:05the only one at fault ? Who could have
49:07known my sister-in-law would just storm
49:09in and tell everyone everything ? I
49:12wasn't planning on hiding it from her
49:14forever , I was going to tell her when
49:16the time was right . But your
49:17sister-in-law brought Taeyoung over and
49:20just told you to raise him out of the
49:22blue . If someone said that to you ,
49:24wouldn't you flip out too ?
49:25Brother-in-law , no , you jerk ! Are you
49:28even in a position to talk to me like
49:30that right now ? You can't even thank
49:33the person who raised your child for 13
49:35years , and now you blame me for causing
49:37your divorce by running my mouth ? If
49:39your marriage was that precious , you
49:41should've told your brother from the
49:43start that Taeyoung was your son . Why
49:45couldn't you do that , and now you're
49:47acting crazy with me ? They're busy
49:50arguing over who's less at fault , but
49:52to me , it doesn't really matter who
49:54started it . Whether the sister-in-law
49:59spoke up early , the mother-in-law
50:01planned it , or the husband hid it until
50:03the end , the fact remains that they
50:05were all in it together to deceive me .
50:10And as funny as it is to say it's
50:12fortunate , I wasn't even actually
50:14pregnant . So there was nothing holding
50:18me back . I had no intention of just
50:21letting the wedding costs and all the
50:23money spent on the marriage go as if
50:24nothing happened . It wasn't like I
50:28broke the marriage , nor did I know
50:31about his biological child beforehand
50:34and then change my mind later . My
50:38husband hid the important truth from
50:41the start , and since the fault was
50:43entirely his , I could sue him for the
50:46damages I suffered from the marriage .
50:51Only then did my husband start begging
50:53me , saying he was wrong . He even asked
50:56me to come back . He claimed he didn't
50:59mean to deceive me from the beginning .
51:02He said that if you leave out the
51:04Taeyoung issue , didn't we have no
51:05problems between us ? He promised to
51:08live without secrets from now on and
51:10tried his best to hold onto me . But the
51:13more I heard those words , the more
51:15absurd it sounded . " If you leave out
51:18the Taeyoung issue , we were fine . " I
51:20mean , that Taeyoung issue is the
51:21biggest one , so what exactly does he
51:23want me to do ? Above all , how could I
51:26ever trust or rely on someone who lied
51:28to me from the start ? I learned long
51:32ago that if I start giving in once , I
51:34could end up bowing down for the rest
51:36of my life . I knew this wasn't right ,
51:39so getting out was the only way . So , I
51:42eventually went through with the
51:44divorce lawsuit . Whether my husband
51:46begged me to return or my mother-in-law
51:49said anything , my heart had already
51:51moved on . As I went through the
51:54necessary procedures , I secured alimony
51:56, got what I was entitled to , and ended
51:58the marriage . I married late and
52:03thought I’d finally enjoy newlywed
52:05life , but I ended up back in my
52:07mother's arms . It’s funny , right ? I
52:11don't even know anymore if I just have
52:14no eye for men or for people in general
52:16. Anyway , one thing has become certain .
52:20I’m really not going to meet any more
52:22men . Even if Mom brings up another
52:26blind date with some " great guy , " I’m
52:28just going to bolt the door shut this
52:30time . I’m not even going to think
52:33about marriage anymore . Two times is
52:36more than enough for me . There’s no
52:39need to go for a third just to see if
52:41it’s a human victory or a human
52:44defeat . Thank you for listening until
52:46the end to my absurd story of going in
52:47circles and ending up alone . That is
52:49all .