How to Find Your Purpose & Design the Life You Want

0:00stuckness always means you're about to

0:02be transformed tell me one of the

0:04scariest thoughts that comes up when you

0:06let your fear speak you are about to do

0:09something stupid the opposite of the

0:12most painful thought in your head is

0:15your next step toward Awakening I would

0:17say you're about to do something really

0:20brilliant feel that yes we're going to

0:23do time travel okay so it's 2034 you're

0:26going to wake up on a day that is an

0:28ordinary day in a perfect life what do

0:31you hear I hear waves and I hear little

0:34kids laughing look at the room look for

0:37the pictures that have that have been

0:38taken in the Years between 2024 and

0:432034 uh two weddings

0:47wow um grand babies M can you feel that

0:51you are creating this future as we got

0:54go through this mhm you are out of

0:56anxiety and into imagination and the

0:59tears in your eyes tell me it's real

1:02yeah you're finding your purpose right

1:05now thank you for um changing my

1:10life hey it's your friend Mel and

1:13welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast I am

1:15thrilled that you're here we're going to

1:16experience something so extraordinary

1:18together and if you're brand new I want

1:21to welcome you to the Mel Robins podcast

1:23family this is the perfect episode to be

1:26listening to right now because we're

1:27going to be digging into the topic of

1:29purpose

1:30of discovering your power you're going

1:32to learn so much from our guests today

1:34this is a woman that I have admired for

1:3619 years she has changed my life she's

1:39going to change yours today and the fact

1:41that you hit play on this episode tells

1:43me that you're the type of person who

1:44values your time and you're also

1:46interested in creating more meaning and

1:48purpose in your life and I love that and

1:51today you're going to get that because

1:54we have the number one life coach on the

1:57planet who is here today to help you

1:59make your life better if you feel stuck

2:02if you're looking for some guidance if

2:04you want to figure out what your next

2:05step is or if you just have this feeling

2:09that something that you're doing it just

2:13isn't working you're just not quite

2:16where you're supposed to be well you're

2:18in the right place right now you're

2:20supposed to be here with your friend Mel

2:22and you and I are in for the coaching

2:25session of a lifetime and let me just

2:27give you the context for how amazing is

2:30if you wanted to hire the person who's

2:33in our studio today you couldn't book a

2:35session with her like that is how

2:37renowned she is but today she has hopped

2:40on a plane and flown across the country

2:42and she is here for you Dr Martha Beck

2:45is the number one life coach in the

2:47world and she's here to speak with you

2:49and me and to help you live your best

2:52life Dr Martha Beck is a world renowned

2:54life coach who holds three sociology

2:56degrees from Harvard she's a six-time

2:59New York Times bestselling author she is

3:01famously known as Oprah's life coach and

3:04she's also been my life coach for 19

3:06years but from afar and this is the very

3:10first time that I'm meeting her in

3:12person through her books her

3:14conversations she has helped me get

3:16clear about what I want and has inspired

3:18me to take bigger and more purposeful

3:20risks and she's here for you to share

3:23her best tactics tools research and

3:25insights that are going to help you have

3:27the Breakthrough that you need and

3:28deserve so please help me welcome the

3:31extraordinary Martha Beck to the Mel

3:33Robins podcast I just have to say I am

3:37unbelievably thrilled that you're here I

3:39just I I can't believe that I'm sitting

3:40across from you actually am like pinch

3:42me pinch me I feel the same way I feel

3:45like I know you because you've been in

3:49my life for so long and I just am

3:52eternally grateful that you got on a

3:54plane and you are taking the time to be

3:57with me and the person who's listening

3:59wow I just I am so honored to be here

4:02and it's like uh we're just looking in

4:04the mirror here because we've both had

4:06parasocial relationships with each other

4:09like I feel like you're talking to me

4:12all the time and it's just such an honor

4:15to be here I am so excited that you're

4:17here because there are just so many

4:18different topics that I cannot wait to

4:20learn from you about from how you find

4:23your deeply personal sense of purpose to

4:27how you can use the tools that you write

4:29about in your new book to manage anxiety

4:32to learning how to live a life that's

4:34truly authentic to you and I thought a

4:37lot about how I wanted to start our

4:40conversation and I'd like to start it by

4:42telling you a personal story so it would

4:45have been early 2005 okay and I was a

4:50young mom with two M and I had left the

4:54practice of Law and I had studied and

4:56become a life coach and I had a small

5:00business coaching individuals and people

5:03that ran small businesses and Oprah

5:06Winfrey was doing a big like event uhuh

5:11and it was at the Boston Convention

5:12Center oh that's right yeah and yeah and

5:15I thought well what better place to go

5:17to prospect for clients who feel stunk

5:20than at an Oprah Winfrey conference and

5:23I walked in and I sat down in a chair

5:27and a woman that I had never seen walked

5:29on stage

5:30and she started

5:32talking and it was you oh my goodness

5:38and there was something about you and I

5:43don't even know what the hell you were

5:44saying you were talking about

5:46purpose and I remember just feeling the

5:50stress of having two kids and trying to

5:54grow this business and my husband had

5:55just been laid off and uh he wanted to

5:58go into the restaurant business and you

6:00were up there and there was something

6:03inside me and you talk I'd never thought

6:05about it as peace but everything went

6:08quiet and I don't even remember a word

6:12that you said but I remember

6:17feeling I want to be doing that and wow

6:20I didn't even know what that meant and

6:23so when you walked off stage I picked up

6:26one of the magazines and I learned about

6:30you and I started reading your column

6:32and I said to myself I'm G to just

6:35figure out how I can write books or how

6:38I can speak to people and this was

6:40before I gave that tedex talk it was

6:43before I had ever done anything wow and

6:47it was you that's incredible and um I

6:52remember I um was sitting there one

6:56night and somebody forwarded me an email

7:00and I was up late at night kind of

7:02working and the kids have been put to

7:03bed and this email comes across my um

7:07inbox and it's from a friend and she

7:09said hey Mel I I you know I work in PR

7:12in New York and I see that somebody is

7:16looking to interview a life coach for an

7:18article in this magazine so I scroll

7:21down and I notice oh well this is two

7:24months old and oh I have none of the

7:26credentials and oh um it looks like uh

7:31the deadline's already passed and then I

7:33said well what would Martha Beck do ah

7:37and I hit reply and I responded and it

7:40was the kind of beginning of everything

7:44changing in my life and it all began

7:47with that moment that I had an

7:49experience with you oh oh my goodness

7:51and I've been waiting 19 years to meet

7:54you oh my heart is just like exploding

7:57right now I just you know I I remember

8:00going out in front of crowds and I'm te

8:02I had terrible performance anxiety but I

8:05would always stop and think somebody out

8:07there feels the way I did once yeah and

8:09I would just think whoever it is and I'd

8:12just say please speak to them and I

8:14don't know what the hell I said either

8:17but it's like throwing a message out in

8:19a bottle and just wondering did anyone

8:21pick it up and then to have you say I

8:25found the message you left in the bottle

8:26and I picked it up and then you come

8:28back to me and it's it's an answer to my

8:32prayers to feel heard and seen the way

8:34we all want to feel heard and seen and

8:37it's talk about full circle moments this

8:40whole day has been just this deep magic

8:43and I really I love you for bringing

8:45that to life and putting it out into the

8:47world well I I love you for starting the

8:51spark and one of the reasons why I was

8:54so excited Beyond just my selfish desire

8:58to have the full circle moment and to

9:00meet you and thank you is that you more

9:03than anybody in the world helps people

9:07get unstuck oh wow it's true like so

9:10much of your work is truly about finding

9:14purpose yeah and learning how to find

9:17your way especially when you have no

9:19peace especially when you don't know

9:22what comes next or life has thrown

9:24something at you can you just expand a

9:27bit about your personal background and

9:29how you got to the point where you were

9:32writing all of these New York Times by

9:33selling books because there was a lot of

9:35personal history that led up to where

9:38you are now I would just love for you to

9:40share a little bit about your background

9:43sure in case the person listening is

9:46getting the gift of meeting you for the

9:47first time oh hello it's so nice to meet

9:50you yeah I I was privileged enough to

9:55have some fairly difficult things in my

9:57life and and one of the hardest probably

10:01the hardest was growing up in the heart

10:03of very Mormon Mormonism with a father

10:06who was one of the great luminaries of

10:10the Mormon faith he defended the faith

10:14um it's called being an apologist so he

10:16was very important to Mormonism and I

10:19think it made him

10:22crazy and part of his crazy was that he

10:26sexually abused me and then I grew up

10:30and um after I was having children and

10:34trying to not tell any lies the the

10:36moment I decided one year not to tell

10:38any

10:39lies the memory of the abuse just

10:42erupted if you've had that happen to you

10:44call someone you need Community um so

10:47you had suppressed all of the memories

10:50of it and then it erupts when you're you

10:53were actually at Harvard at the time

10:54right yeah I was finishing my PhD yeah

10:57um but yeah I had I mean it

10:59literally um I had so much scar tissue

11:02in my body my body wasn't working very

11:04well because of all the scar tissue in

11:06sensitive areas so um I had surgery for

11:10that as well and it that blew it wide

11:13open um and I started having what they

11:16call intrusive flashbacks but at the

11:19same time I was looking at is this

11:22religion like I I look I love my father

11:25he's passed on but I love him and I

11:28really think made him crazy to try to

11:30wrap his mind around telling people that

11:32something was true when it wasn't it

11:34just there were things that were not

11:35true that he found a way to say oh

11:38they're true so I never hated him but um

11:43I realized that without speaking the

11:46truth and living in harmony with my

11:48truth I couldn't survive psychologically

11:51I would have I was very close to taking

11:54my own life couldn't do that to my kids

11:58so I decided to like get therapy do

12:01other things and at that point I started

12:04my family was like in communic like no

12:08this did not happen um they tried to

12:10shut it down I started getting scary

12:13messages um from unknown people saying

12:16you've been spreading rumors about your

12:17father you need to you know I'm going to

12:21you know drag you behind my truck and

12:22tell you tell the truth that kind of

12:24stuff it was like just from strangers

12:26yeah and then 10 years later I waited 10

12:29years and then I wrote a book about it

12:32called leaving the Saints how I left the

12:34Mormons and found my faith because it

12:36was about how I had been set free by the

12:41experience of dealing with that and that

12:43lo and behold I decided I believe that

12:45there's a Divine Consciousness that

12:47loves us all and is always taking care

12:48of us so when that book came

12:52out yeah my family tried to take legal

12:56action to have me put in prison uh um I

13:00lost every friendship I'd had growing up

13:02because everyone was Mormon in that

13:04community and going against the church

13:07and leaving the church is considered the

13:09only sin worse than murder well and you

13:13not only did that but to live in your

13:16integrity yeah and to live your truth

13:18and to set yourself free you also wrote

13:21about it yeah in a book that became a

13:24massive New York Times bestseller I was

13:27hoping no one would read it I knew I had

13:29to write it yes but I was terrified and

13:33pretty much all the things that I

13:35thought would happen happened you know

13:37my Publishers called me after the gys

13:40came out and said why didn't you tell us

13:42about this and I was like I tried they

13:44were like we're getting death threats I

13:46was like yeah I know don't rock the boat

13:50in that in any very strongly committed

13:54ideological Community right yeah so it

13:58was just loss after loss after loss

14:01after loss there was immense fear There

14:03Was Fear for my children whose lives

14:05were threatened anonymously by people

14:06sending me letters and stuff um had to

14:10leave my home at the same

14:12time realized I didn't really like

14:14Academia so I left my job um realized I

14:18was gay oh so there went my marriage um

14:22just everything everything

14:24left and everything

14:27arrived everything painful

14:29that was so hard to

14:31lose I had to let them go and in the

14:35spaciousness that opened

14:38up the thing I call God moved

14:41in

14:44and there's just joy joy joy joy in

14:48letting

14:49go I want that for all of us I do too I

14:53want that so much I want that for every

14:55single person I want that so much for

14:57you yeah how did you go from that

15:03experience in your life and in your

15:05career and in your marriage and publicly

15:09to then making this decision that you

15:11would put yourself out there even more

15:14and

15:15help everyone else find their way

15:17because you have and your work

15:19represents around the world a

15:24pathway towards purpose a a way to find

15:29your authentic self a way to truly find

15:33the courage to speak your truth I mean

15:36that's what you represent in the world

15:38oh thank you you know I was we're in

15:40Boston I haven't been back to Boston for

15:42like 30 years really yeah and I was

15:45living in Cambridge which is right here

15:47when I was my son was prenatally

15:50diagnosed with Down Syndrome so I was

15:52six months pregnant I knew he had Down

15:54syndrome and I had never really

15:56experienced peace

15:59um and I was very very

16:02upset and I couldn't sleep I couldn't

16:04sleep I couldn't sleep and I remember

16:06being in my apartment in Cambridge

16:08curled over my big pregnant belly which

16:12terrified me because I didn't know what

16:14was going to happen to my life and to

16:16him and I was under such a weight of

16:19grief that I did something and you your

16:22new book is like perfect because I just

16:25allowed what was happening to happen I I

16:29said let the world be what it is let

16:30this child be what it is and I sort of

16:32collapsed

16:34forward and I swear to God I felt arms

16:37go around me in that moment and it was

16:41as if something picked me up and I was

16:43curled on the floor but I felt as if i'

16:45been picked up like a baby and held and

16:48I don't know what that was but it was

16:49unlike anything I'd ever experienced and

16:53I don't know how long it lasted because

16:54it was it felt outside of time and it

16:57was just

16:59overwhelming and after it ended my

17:04entire life was about I have to get back

17:06there and that is to this very day what

17:10I'm doing here well and that's the work

17:12that you do with people around the

17:14world you well I think you succeed in

17:17helping us come home to ourselves yeah I

17:20can't believe you haven't been back to

17:21Boston yeah it was it was a difficult

17:23City for me yeah well then I are or at

17:28least you have't been around TOA you

17:29haven't been back to Cambridge I did

17:31today and it was really what was that

17:33like oh everywhere I went I was tapping

17:35my younger self on the shoulder because

17:37I was there from the time I was 17 till

17:39I was like 28 and I would just tap my

17:42younger self on the shoulder and say hey

17:44I'm from your future and I I know with

17:47100% accuracy you're going to get

17:49through this and you're going to be

17:51happy and I just kept telling my younger

17:53selves that all morning going around

17:55with my wonderful

17:57partner it was was time travel it was

18:00magic I had three social science degrees

18:03from Harvard and what they taught they

18:05taught me well it was a brutal education

18:08but it one thing was very true and that

18:11is I'm a social scientist by training

18:14you can't really know what another

18:17person's life is like for them so the

18:19only truth story you can tell is your

18:21own never presume to tell another

18:24person's story if I'm going to speak the

18:26truth I speak it from my own experience

18:29because I will not impose that on you

18:31but if you're you're invited to come

18:32share if you feel the same thing but

18:35that's why I had to tell my own story

18:37because standing on some pedestal and

18:39saying I know these things because I'm a

18:40social scientist I know I found

18:44the way out of suffering because I was

18:46suffering horribly here's the path I

18:48followed if it feels good to you come

18:50with me I love you good

18:53luck and what's available to the person

18:56listening right now or to somebody that

18:58they love

19:00if they're suffering deeply in this

19:02conversation

19:04today you're okay right now Mel and I

19:08we're here we got you there is a

19:10community of love it's invisible but if

19:13you feel it with your senses in your

19:15heart something will start to shift

19:18because we've got you and it's going to

19:19be okay just this moment a breath at a

19:23time we got you I believe you yeah it's

19:27true and and I also believe that you're

19:30going to walk us through exactly how we

19:33can believe it for ourselves too I

19:35that's that's my dream that's the Dream

19:39well that's what we're going to do today

19:41and so I would love to have you just

19:44talk a little bit about how you think

19:46about the experience of being stuck yeah

19:49in life and even moments in your life

19:52where you have felt stuck yeah and we'll

19:56just start there oh yeah well the story

19:58just told you I felt completely and

20:00totally stuck I mean my advisers at

20:02Harvard even the doctors told me I was

20:04throwing my life away by keeping uh my

20:07son and I'm very pro-choice by the way

20:10but that he was diagnosed like a week

20:12before my sixth month I had already

20:14really bonded to him so I felt stuck

20:17then and and here's the thing the

20:20release came from a surrender to what

20:22was but then being caught by some force

20:25that is not something we really talk

20:27about in our culture and over and over

20:29in my life when I've gotten stuck when I

20:32was you know the daughter of one of

20:34mormonism's most famous defendants and

20:36then I'm dealing with memories of sexual

20:39abuse and the whole religion is you know

20:43vested in keeping me quiet I felt very

20:45stuck then and when my whole family and

20:49all the friends I'd had as a child sort

20:51of wrote me off and I've never spoken to

20:53them again that felt very I felt very

20:56stuck but I've come to to have a really

20:59delightful relationship with the feeling

21:02of being stuck and now I even know the

21:04brain science behind it when you have a

21:07really big need or desire and you're

21:10really feeling stuck I call it an impass

21:13this is when your brain the feeling of

21:16just bumping up against it that is the

21:19brain saying I'm about to give you a big

21:22Leap Forward I'm about to tell you

21:24things that will blow your mind so be

21:27stuck get right down in the mud with it

21:29say I hate this I'm miserable and then

21:32say screw it and go for a walk or go for

21:36a ride in the car or if you can't get

21:38out of your house watch the birds

21:39outside your

21:41window there is a part of your brain

21:43that will actually take the the impass

21:45the

21:46stuckness and you will come eventually

21:50to an idea you have never imagined

21:53before like and I compare it to the

21:56caterpillar cannot imagine being a

21:59butterfly but that is its

22:01Destiny stuckness always means you're

22:04about to be

22:05transformed so embrace it with both arms

22:09enjoy it lean in you're going to love it

22:12it's so hard to do though and I I mean

22:14and you literally coach people through

22:17this and I think about moments in my

22:18life where I have felt so stuck and also

22:21directionless right like I don't know

22:25what I should be doing next Y and so

22:27could you speak speak directly to the

22:29person who's listening yes that feels

22:32that right now like they're not only

22:34feeling that frustration and is this all

22:37my life is going to be in the sense that

22:39there's something else but I don't even

22:40know how to access it yep okay so two

22:44things you have two best friends that go

22:47with you everywhere one is your body the

22:51other is suffering and these are your

22:53allies and our culture really discounts

22:55both of them we need to get a little

22:57Wilder as I say in my little online

22:59community called Wilder and the way you

23:01get Wilder is you sink into the body and

23:04you feel for suffering so if you

23:07wouldn't mind I don't do hypothetical

23:08work so I want to just work it on you so

23:11what I do with myself and what I would

23:12do with you if I were coaching you I

23:14would say In This Moment is there

23:15anything in you that is not peaceful yes

23:19okay where in your body do you

23:21experience most of the not piece I feel

23:25it as like this tension in my chest like

23:28it's right between my breast it's almost

23:30like this like plate right in here o

23:33yeah okay and and when you start to

23:35describe it you're you're actually will

23:37be using the language of the body okay

23:40this tells everyone in the world no

23:42matter what language they speak ah we've

23:44all felt that ah yes the the armoring of

23:47the heart the flinching away when you

23:50focus on that what emotion comes

23:53up and there are four categories mad sad

23:56glad and scared scared okay okay so

23:59breathe into that so now you have your

24:02friend suffering saying I'm afraid and

24:05you have your friend body

24:07saying it doesn't need words

24:10it's okay this is helping you find your

24:14way through life so the first thing you

24:15do is in your phrase let it let it be

24:19okay let the emotion be bigger just let

24:22the the fear the scaredness be there let

24:25it be huge let it fill your internal

24:28space let it leak over into the world

24:30let that plate armor in your chest

24:33really really get as big as it wants to

24:35be it's like a nuclear Cloud now

24:40fantastic now it's like yeah okay let it

24:43let it let it you should write another

24:45book called Let

24:46It what happens when you relax into it

24:49is you're no longer resisting the lesson

24:52that is coming from your you know fear

24:55is another word for anxiety so you're

24:58it's coming from your anxiety it's

25:00coming from Life

25:02circumstances so

25:04now if that were a being you loved and

25:08you asked it first of all say be

25:11yourself I have no resistance to you

25:13come in sit down with me the suffering

25:16yes be huge be yourself be huge be scary

25:20I have zero resistance to this yeah and

25:22then this will take too much time for

25:24the broadcast but you say you say to

25:26yourself tell me every everything write

25:29it all down tell me everything you're

25:31feeling you know what's interesting

25:33about inviting the suffering in as a

25:36person and taking the feeling in your

25:38body and visualizing it into something

25:41bigger is the second that you said that

25:44the kind of tension in the chest

25:47mushroomed into this like nuclear Cloud

25:50yeah which

25:52ironically made it feel smaller well

25:56look at the amount of energy you had

25:57compacted into your chest when you let

26:00it go there's a kind of release yes

26:04you're not having to hold all that pain

26:06anymore you're just letting it be and

26:08what ended up happening because this is

26:10a particular fear about something going

26:12on in my financial life okay is that the

26:15second that I kind of imagined it big

26:18and you invited it in to sit with me it

26:21immediately started talking oh really

26:23yes and it brought me right back to 15

26:28years ago when I was on the brink of

26:30bankruptcy really and like I'm afraid

26:32because I've been in a place where I've

26:34felt out over the tips of my skis I've

26:36been in a place where I've been really

26:39scared and struggling financially and

26:42it's not at all the same situation but

26:45it's triggering yes it is it and if we

26:48were um working this in person I would

26:51have you write down or tell me every

26:53thought that is causing suffering

26:55because here's the thing there are two

26:58two sources of suffering one is clean

27:00and one is dirty the clean suffering is

27:02like if I punched you in the head it

27:04would hurt that's just clean

27:06suffering but dirty suffering comes from

27:08our thoughts about events so then you

27:11would think she hates me why did she do

27:13that did I deserve it she shouldn't have

27:15done that so there would be this storm

27:17of thoughts and we all have different

27:19storms but most of our pain most of our

27:22suffering doesn't come from events it

27:25comes from our thoughts about events m

27:28so as your pain tells its story you are

27:31un blending from it and you said it's

27:34not the same situation at all you're

27:36able to see that that means you have a

27:38little

27:39perspective but don't shut it down don't

27:42say oh you don't need to worry this is

27:43different

27:44no suffering is your ally it will tell

27:47you everything you need if you let it

27:50speak and I'm going to ask you because

27:52you're good at this stuff tell me one of

27:55the scariest thoughts that comes up when

27:57you let your fear

27:59speak um that you've just spent 15

28:03years getting yourself out of financial

28:05debt uhuh and making yourself feel safe

28:10because you've been really good about

28:12savings and you are about to do

28:16something stupid okay you're I'm GNA

28:20boil that down to you're about to do

28:22something stupid and all the alarm is

28:24attached to it right yes here's the deal

28:27here's how suffering is your friend it

28:29always tells you the opposite of what

28:32you actually need to know so it's very

28:35specific it's not just oh let it go

28:38it'll be fine that thought that caus the

28:41more suffering it causes the more it's

28:43getting your attention but it's

28:46backwards so so what is the back like I

28:48can't even wrap my brain around this I'm

28:50like wait so what is backwards about

28:51it's about to I would say you know

28:54you've spent all this time getting

28:56yourself out of debt and now you're

28:57about to do something really

29:00brilliant feel that yes yeah the

29:05opposite of the most painful thought in

29:08your head the opposite of that thought

29:10is your next step toward Awakening oh my

29:14God that's beautiful it always works can

29:17we try that with a breakup yes please so

29:21I watched my daughter go through just a

29:24wildly painful heartbreak this summer

29:27ouch and and the biggest fear is that it

29:32was two it was like I'll never find love

29:33again yeah or I've made a huge mistake

29:37and I blew it and so if we take this

29:41truth and wisdom and you invite the

29:43suffering in and let's just take the

29:46statement that a lot of people feel I'll

29:48never find love again I'll never find

29:51somebody who loves me yep what is the

29:54opposite of that so you have to really

29:56listen to The Suffering till the point

29:57where you're sick of it because before

30:00that you're going to cling to this

30:01thought it's part of your ego trying to

30:03defend itself but as we know trying to

30:05cling to things to defend yourself is

30:07the way into misery so I'll never find

30:11love again it will sound radical but the

30:13opposite would be I will always find

30:16love again now if you sit with that and

30:20start to look for ways it could be

30:22true oh I will always find love I love

30:25that tree outside the window I love my

30:28cat I love my mother I love oh there's

30:30just love everywhere when you say I'll

30:34always find love I'll find it

30:36everywhere everything starts to love you

30:38back try this try this go into a coffee

30:42shop or someplace you like to go to like

30:44have

30:45lunch go in thinking your most painful

30:48thought I'll never find love again I'll

30:50never find love again and watch how

30:51people react to you okay the next day go

30:54in again but this time you have to

30:56repeat the opposite I'll always find

30:58love everywhere I'll always find love

31:01everywhere and watch how people react to

31:03you they will open doors for you they

31:05will give you free stuff they will smile

31:08I'm telling you people talk about me

31:11being woo woo it's just what happens go

31:14test it well I also think there's a lot

31:16of science to this there is yeah because

31:18aren't you training your mind to show

31:20you what you're looking for like if

31:22you're AR you more open to it is that

31:24also because I believe in both the magic

31:27and the spirit

31:28wo and you can explain it and you do in

31:32your work over and over again about how

31:35this is also a tactic to reprogram your

31:38spirit and your brain to be open to this

31:41yeah selective attention you've probably

31:43seen that experiment where they have six

31:45people bouncing a basketball and you

31:47tell someone watching the film count the

31:49times they bounce the ball in the middle

31:51of the film a person in a gorilla suit

31:53comes in and does a little dance and

31:55then leaves and people watching that

31:57film

31:58don't see the gorilla because they're

32:00busy watching the times the ball bounces

32:01and the gorilla is not subtle it is

32:04right in the middle of the frame it's

32:06big we don't see what we don't pay

32:08attention to so if you are constantly

32:11saying ah I'm not going to find love I'm

32:13not going to find love the only things

32:15you'll see will be things that make you

32:17jealous and hurt and sad and if you walk

32:20around thinking I'm going to see love

32:21everywhere always it happens the other

32:26thing is mirror neurons

32:28other people's brains if if you took a

32:30sip of water my brain would actually

32:32have the same activity in it as if I had

32:34taken a a sip of water our brains are

32:37constantly moving to reflect one another

32:40so when you walk around going there's

32:42love everywhere a person meets your eyes

32:45and suddenly sees love everywhere you're

32:48giving them a different

32:49brain by going around thinking I'll

32:52always find love I just everything that

32:57comes out of your mouth is like oh my

32:59God I I felt my chest

33:02collapse like almost like falling

33:06backwards like a trustfall when you said

33:08you're about to make the most brilliant

33:10decision yeah and I think you're right

33:13look how aware you are look how

33:14experienced you are of course you're

33:16going to make a brilliant decision but

33:17what I love about this conversation is

33:19that when you see somebody that you care

33:21about who's stuck or going through

33:23heartbreak yeah or who is afraid because

33:25they're taking a risk yeah when we see

33:28that person from the outside we credit

33:31them and give them the benefit of all

33:35the things we know to be true which is

33:37yes this is breaking your heart in a

33:40million pieces and yeah there's love all

33:44around you and there is love in your

33:46life and you will absolutely find love

33:49again yeah and you will be loved but

33:53it's hard for you as the person stuck in

33:56it yeah is being stuck different than

34:00not having a purpose or very related

34:03yeah because people the biggest reason

34:05people consult me is a sense of losing

34:08of not having a purpose and they'll put

34:10that above things like heartbreak or you

34:13know disease like not having a purpose

34:15is really a big problem and it's really

34:18related to being stuck because our our

34:21knowledge of the direction we want to

34:22take is informed by a sense of purpose

34:25and when we don't have a sense of

34:26purpose we have no way of knowing where

34:27to to go and that gets us stuck I do

34:30seminars in Africa and one of the things

34:32we do is we take people rhinoceros

34:34tracking because that's an obvious thing

34:36to do right if you don't have a sense of

34:38purpose the rhinoceros is your purpose

34:40you learn to see every sign it leaves on

34:43the earth and everything and then we

34:46take them back to the camp and we say

34:47now you're going to track your purpose

34:49the way we track the Rhino and the way

34:51you've track the track of your purpose

34:54is joy in the body oh oh a sense of Joy

34:59lifting or lightness relaxation in the

35:02body is a track and it said it never

35:05says here's what you're going to be in

35:0620 years or even 20 minutes it says

35:09here's your next step forward so with

35:12this financial

35:14situation you're about to make a

35:16brilliant

35:17decision how does that if you say that

35:20what happens in your

35:22body I feel that freedom and peace and

35:26ease that you talk about so the Buddha

35:28used to say um and he said it a lot

35:31wherever you find water you can know if

35:33it's the ocean because no matter what it

35:35looks like the the ocean always tastes

35:37of

35:38salt and when you find Enlightenment you

35:42will always recognize it no matter what

35:43it looks like because Enlightenment

35:45always tastes of Freedom o not giddy Joy

35:50not Bliss Freedom it can be scary as

35:53hell to serve your purpose but it's free

35:56you are free So when you say you felt

35:59lighter and Freer that's a track so now

36:03okay you know that that's what you're

36:05going to follow instead of the thing

36:07that says oh my God I'm going to make a

36:09terrible decision or I'm always going to

36:11be alone or or it's never going to work

36:12out for me or I'm never going to be good

36:14enough like that is one lane yeah and

36:17using these tools you're now accessing

36:19and flipping the suffering yeah and

36:21you're tracking what brings you more

36:23freedom in the body more joy in the body

36:26so if you're making the decision okay

36:27I'm going to put this money in this

36:29account or in that account literally sit

36:32there and say okay if I make decision a

36:35what happens in my body shut down if I

36:39make decision B what happens in my body

36:42little bit lighter so I always say to

36:45people think of the worst experience you

36:48had and then feel that how that was in

36:50your body and give that a a score

36:53negative -10 on the happy meter then

36:56remember the most peaceful and free

36:58you've ever felt that's a positive 10

37:01and everything in between zero is

37:03neutral so you may make a decision with

37:05this financial thing where it's just a

37:08that's plus one that's minus three okay

37:11it might be subtle but as you learn to

37:14feel what sets you free what removes

37:17suffering and replaces it

37:19with that's how you know the next step

37:22and as the steps start to add up you go

37:24oh my God that's my purpose is

37:27everybody's purpose different yes

37:30absolutely you said that with such

37:31certainty yeah yeah it's as individual

37:34as our fingerprints and how do you

37:36define purpose that which brings you the

37:39mo the greatest satisfaction and joy as

37:43a being on this Earth and that allows

37:45you to contribute the most satisfaction

37:47and joy to the rest of the world that's

37:49your purpose it's where your deep

37:51gladness and the world's deep hunger

37:54meet a theologian said that once I think

37:57it was FR bner and how do you discover

38:02this you talked about the Rhino hunting

38:04and then you take people back and say

38:08okay we're going to do that exact same

38:09process do you look backwards and start

38:11to look for tracks and clues in your

38:14past or do you look forward well you do

38:16you you re you realize what feels like

38:19the way forward and what is not the way

38:21forward and it's really simple if it

38:24sets you free even a little bit go there

38:26that's your purpose if it traps you if

38:29it makes you feel encased no matter how

38:32slightly that is what uh my friend Boyd

38:34who tracks with me calls the track of

38:36not

38:37there so we go through life banging into

38:41suffering and oh my

38:42God and that is just the track of not

38:45there after you learn to track Joy you

38:49won't even pay much attention to all of

38:51that noise you'll be so focused

38:53following your joy and then you'll look

38:55up and go oh my God that's where I'm

38:56headed

38:58like think of your story of of being in

39:00the audience at the O you know I I I'm

39:03so glad we're going there because I I

39:05have been stuck so many times in my life

39:07and a lot of times and I know you find

39:09this with people too when you're stuck

39:12you're stuck and you're pretty convinced

39:14you are yeah and you're scared you're

39:16going to stay there and when you hear

39:19somebody like you yeah say we got to

39:23track your joy you got to move toward

39:24Freedom when you're that stuck at sort

39:27of like what the hell does that even

39:29mean like I I I can barely get out of

39:32bed I don't like the job that I have I

39:35can't make pay my bills yeah so and

39:38that's kind of where I was when I was

39:41sitting in that audience and and you

39:43gave me a taste of that oh there's

39:46something that feels different here I'm

39:48going to move toward this and that the

39:50simple tool I came up with was what

39:53would Mara Beck do and I'll just do that

39:55because the woman has life that feels

39:57different than mine and so I'm going to

39:58just kind of move toward that even

40:00though I don't even know what she would

40:01do I'm just going to guess what she

40:02would do and so if if the person

40:05listening yeah is in it with us and

40:09they're also like okay yeah but what do

40:12I do when I wake up what do I do in my

40:15life right now to find these small

40:18pockets of joy in my day because I'm

40:20assuming that's where you start no

40:22actually it's not it's not in the day

40:25than God it's always in this moment and

40:26it's always was inside the self there is

40:29no such thing as an a circumstance that

40:31will set you free all your feeling of

40:34captivity is always coming from the Mind

40:38from the fear-based

40:39mind when you set yourself free in your

40:42mind like I was bedridden for 12 years

40:44with a whole bunch of autoimmune

40:46diseases a lot of which they told me

40:48were uh incurable and Progressive I

40:51don't have any symptoms but that didn't

40:54start after like for 12 years I was in

40:58constant chronic pain and severe

41:00disability okay like I raised my kids on

41:03a king-size bed and I felt very very

41:07stuck and then I realized that the

41:09feeling of being stuck was torture and

41:12that I could shift the feeling so it

41:15always starts what am I thinking I'm

41:17thinking I'm stuck I'm stuck there's

41:19nowhere to

41:20go that causes suffering what's the

41:23opposite I'm free I'm free I could go in

41:26any direction

41:28and then find a way in which that may be

41:31true even if you just find one

41:33little motive it in in what looks like a

41:36sea of pain once I got on a plane and I

41:40was at the airport and this guy started

41:42talking to me he was a professional

41:44hockey player he said here's the thing

41:47the net is small and the goalie is big

41:50in hockey but you can't ever look at the

41:53goalie you look at the five little

41:55spaces where the putt can go because

41:57where your eyes go the putt goes so I

42:00get on the plane and the guy beside me

42:02says I'm a Whitewater rafter and let me

42:04tell you there are times when it just

42:06looks like all rocks and just a little

42:08tiny bit of water but you never look at

42:10the Rocks because where your eyes go the

42:13boat goes I was like okay something's

42:16happening I get off the plane I go take

42:19a horse riding lesson and my teacher

42:21says always look where you want the

42:23horse to go where your eyes go the horse

42:25goes and I was just like I get it I get

42:26it my attention Goes My Life

42:30goes if you feel stuck I'm there for you

42:35tell me

42:36everything and when you're done telling

42:38me everything I'll say where are you

42:42free and when I started finding the

42:44places I was free one by one these

42:47incurable symptoms

42:50disappeared I'm

42:5261 uh last month I I went on a walk in

42:55England and I walked 6 75 miles in 6

42:59days um after being told I'd never walk

43:02again it's because I know how this thing

43:06works and we can use it to lock us down

43:09or we can use use it to set us free no

43:13matter

43:14what what were some of the little things

43:17when you started doing this for yourself

43:19after being bedridden for 12 years yeah

43:23that were pockets of freedom for you

43:25just to give the person listening like a

43:27sense of what you're talking about I

43:29started looking at the things that hurt

43:31most because it was like having knives

43:33stuck in me these thoughts that I

43:35thought um and everybody has these I'm

43:38not good enough people you know this

43:41person doesn't love me I'm life is a

43:44and then you die whatever it was

43:46I'd be like life is a and then you

43:48die all right I'll never get out of this

43:50bed okay that hurts I'll always get out

43:54of this bed

43:57that can't be true I'm lying wait wait I

44:01can read a book and be a million miles

44:03away I can go I can watch a show and

44:05space travel I can talk to a friend and

44:08feel everything they're feeling and be

44:10at the dance where they're dancing and I

44:14am free because the human imagination

44:16can do

44:18anything that's where my attention went

44:20and that's where my life went CU

44:23everything else just hurt too

44:26much how long did it take I'm like I'm

44:29I'm sitting here asking these questions

44:30on behalf of the skeptic CU you want to

44:33believe that it's going to work right

44:35but your mind is so against you at times

44:38oh yeah that even when you get these

44:41little morsels where you feel like it is

44:44true if I watch a movie I'm no longer in

44:46this bed because my mind is in the movie

44:49yeah and it's a small way to find

44:51Freedom and as I start to unshackle

44:53myself from these painful thoughts and I

44:55bring freedom into to my experience

44:58things open up yeah and the the thing to

45:01notice is just does it feel a little bit

45:03better does it feel a little bit Freer

45:05what's happening when people feel stuck

45:07is and I don't want to get all brain

45:09sciency but honest to God there's a

45:12little spiral that happens in a part of

45:13our brain that it's such a strange thing

45:16that part of the brain believes that

45:18it's stuck and also believes that

45:20nothing that contradicts it is true at

45:22all so you get into this tiny I call it

45:25an anxiety spiral and it believes that

45:28only it is real and people who have like

45:32um strokes and they can only use that

45:33part of their brain they believe that

45:36half the world doesn't exist because

45:38they're only perceiving it with the

45:39anxious mind and nothing else exists but

45:43if you can go from I'm always going to

45:45be stuck in this bed to I'm always going

45:48to be free in this

45:50bed then part of your brain lets go of

45:54the anxiety and it turns to the part of

45:56the brain that is

45:57creative and that is the part that a lot

46:01of people don't understand that the

46:03opposite of your worst thought is not

46:05this Serene Bliss or calm it is that you

46:08suddenly walk into the zone of the human

46:10imagination at its most creative and it

46:13can solve anything well that is the

46:17topic of your new seventh instant New

46:21York Times bestselling book beyond

46:24anxiety and I would love to have you

46:27explain that tool of flipping from that

46:31kind of anxiety spiral yeah to how you

46:36tap into the creative brain because when

46:38you are stuck when you do feel like you

46:40don't know what your purpose is yeah

46:42anxiety does take over oh yeah because

46:44you're so worried what if I never get

46:46unstuck what if I never figure it out

46:48what if I die and I wasted all this time

46:50what if I never even figured out who I

46:52was or what I was meant to be and this

46:54is where all your work with people

46:57and what you've written about for

46:59years really helps people figure out and

47:03so what do you want us to know about

47:06curiosity and creativity especially for

47:08somebody who's stuck here's the first

47:11thing you need to know anxiety always

47:15lies but only always and wait what does

47:19that mean but only always I just like to

47:21say it it's like um you know you're

47:23you're a thing that makes you feel

47:25entrapped is always bad for you but only

47:27always and it's just a joke it's a way

47:30of because people think ah yeah that's

47:31sort of no I really mean it all your

47:33anxiety is lying oh no it isn't I put

47:36that at the end of the book If I put it

47:37at the beginning people would have said

47:39f you and just thrown it at the wall

47:41right because it feels so convincing

47:45that your most frightening self hating

47:49thoughts are the

47:51truth and it's lying so that's the first

47:54thing just hear me now under understand

47:57me later I'm stealing that I am stealing

48:00Hear Me Now understand me later that is

48:03amazing okay so you nailed it in your

48:06book let them because let them the a

48:10phrase where you you're you're in this

48:11tense State you're trying to control so

48:13the the the anxiety Spiral goes fear

48:16control back to fear again and it just

48:18spins and it gets bigger and bigger and

48:20they attempt to control gets bigger and

48:23let them as a way out of the Spiral and

48:25it's genius it's genius so you know that

48:29it's genius you have it tattooed on your

48:31bodies you know so um let them kind of

48:36relaxes the spiral and then when you say

48:38Let me let me do something given that

48:41this person or this world event is

48:43happening the way it's happening MH Let

48:46Me Assume My response ability my ability

48:49to respond given that my mind is

48:54free Okay so let me do what now you are

48:59using the part of your brain that

49:01creates and there's tons of evidence

49:04showing that anxiety shuts down

49:07creativity what there's not a lot of

49:09studies about is creativity also shuts

49:12down

49:13anxiety so if you can go into that

49:16creative space you will be you will go

49:18for three or four hours and then realize

49:21I haven't been anxious for three or four

49:23hours so when you sit down to write and

49:26and you um you know you shared with me

49:29that you have dyslexia right so the

49:31written word has not always been your

49:33friend but you create these amazing

49:36books think about being inside that

49:39creative process I don't know how you do

49:41it for me it's always somebody sitting

49:44aside across from me who's in prison

49:46what do you mean well um I once met a

49:50warden from a woman's prison and this is

49:53when I was doing my Oprah Magazine

49:55column and she told me that when they

49:56tossed the cells the most common thing

49:59they found were copies of my column from

50:02Oprah Magazine and I remember crying

50:05going back to my hotel room and crying

50:08because I was I I felt such tremendous

50:11empathy with someone sitting talk about

50:14stuck no options I think the part of me

50:19that was so trapped and found its way to

50:22Freedom has always been trying to find

50:26the trapped part of other people and say

50:28we're going to get you out of here wow

50:32yeah over the years you've worked with

50:34so many people what are the kind of top

50:37most painful thoughts like if you gave

50:39if you had like a list of ones you hear

50:41over and over and we all kind of think

50:44we're the only one yeah right and so I

50:47think it would be very validating for

50:49someone listening to hear just some of

50:52the top things that are the most painful

50:55thoughts people have shared with you

50:56over the decades and how you flip it

50:59okay so number one off the charts is I'm

51:02not good enough I'm not you know I'm not

51:05valuable I'm not worthy and it can be

51:07imposter syn syndrome it can be jealousy

51:10it can be whatever but the root of it is

51:13I'm not good not even enough I'm not

51:17good the biggest lie ever

51:20told go to a nursery in a hospital and

51:23pick up a baby and tell me which one of

51:25them isn't good

51:28if we knew ourselves to be that

51:33precious we would automatically live our

51:36purpose if we could experience ourselves

51:39as being these innocent creatures that

51:41are bumbling through life and I just I

51:44feel like the powers that be the Divine

51:46force of the universe is just going oh

51:50sweetie oh honey how could you think

51:54that don't you know I mean I remember

51:58looking at some horses once and going oh

52:00they're so beautiful and and this woman

52:01who was with me knew horses and she said

52:03well that one's sway backed and that one

52:05and I'm like shut up they're all perfect

52:08they're all beautiful and I when you

52:11step out of suffering enough times you

52:15sit down and say I'm not good enough

52:17immediately flips to oh my

52:20God I'm so

52:23good not I haven't had to earn it it's

52:26not something I

52:27did my favorite spiritual teacher Byron

52:30Katie says if you understood how

52:32important you are you would shatter into

52:35a billion pieces and just be

52:38light and she had that experience um and

52:42I believe she went beyond suffering and

52:45I've come out of suffering over and over

52:46again like someone surfacing out of deep

52:49water you know and taking a breath of

52:51the truth there is no word to describe

52:55how utterly precious you are you have no

52:59like Hear Me Now understand me later I

53:01had a near-death experience once what

53:04happened oh my

53:06God I mean I've written about it I've

53:08talked about it I wasn't dead I was in

53:10surgery for actually scars that were

53:12inflicted by sexual abuse when I was a

53:14child they had started to I was getting

53:17flashbacks and the scar tissue had

53:20started bleeding internally it that

53:22happen that H it did with me it's it's

53:25actually not that common for post

53:27post-traumatic stress syndrome to reinli

53:31wounds that were inflicted on you at the

53:33time of the trauma wow to get your

53:35attention because suffering is always

53:37trying to say here here look here so I

53:40was in the

53:42surgery and um I opened my eyes I sat up

53:47I looked around and then I thought wait

53:49a second I'm lying down I'm my eyes are

53:51taped shut what's happening and I looked

53:53at the surgeons and I was sitting up and

53:56my body was lying down and they were

53:58working and I was like I became very

54:01confused and I lay back down into my

54:04body and I looked up at the surgical

54:06lights which were very very bright and

54:09then in between all of them and you got

54:11to understand this was a time of Maximum

54:14suffering for me I was in physical Agony

54:18I three little kids under five all kinds

54:21of

54:22nonsense they say we only see a

54:25trillionth of the available light

54:27spectrum and it was the whole thing it

54:29was the most beautiful thing even for

54:34years if I even read about somebody

54:35seeing this light I would just ball like

54:38a baby it is so

54:40beautiful and it started to grow and

54:44just Infuse things and then it touched

54:47me and I was utterly home I was utterly

54:50loved I was utterly I belonged I there

54:54was I had nothing to prove I was

54:57absolutely included in this love and it

55:00was laughing with me and it was like you

55:04said you wouldn't forget but you totally

55:06forgot this didn't you and I was like

55:08yes I really thought life is a and

55:11then you die and that's all there is and

55:13I we were laughing together and I was so

55:16happy that I started

55:18crying and the one of the surgeons saw

55:22the tears and thought that I could feel

55:23the surgery but I was numb kidding and

55:26so he said she's in pain she's in pain

55:29and the anesthesiologist went to

55:31increase the medication uhhuh and later

55:35when I I said I want to talk to the

55:37anesthesiologist because I thought that

55:38might be a drug effect it was not a drug

55:40effect and I wanted to quiz him and he

55:44said what happened in there and I sort

55:47of told him and he said I went to

55:48increase the medication and a voice said

55:50to me don't do that she's crying because

55:53she's happy and he was just haale

55:56because he thought he'd done the wrong

55:57thing and he said did I do something

55:59horrible I was like no no I said you

56:03know how many times that's happened to

56:04me in 33 years of practice I said no and

56:07he said once and then he kissed me on

56:10the forehead and went

56:12away but when the light touched me and

56:15was and sort of suffused me it just said

56:19you're about to go through some really

56:20hard stuff and I was complete loss of

56:23all my family members my job my industry

56:26my home all my friends totally gone and

56:31it said and is that because you left the

56:32church yeah yeah I left

56:36everything and it said I just you're

56:38about to go through something really

56:39hard just remember I'm always always

56:42with you and I came out of that surgery

56:45and my it was kind of like um the

56:48experience in Cambridge where I just

56:50said okay that light is with us I am

56:53going to live as if I can see it all all

56:56the time and then I had a son with Down

56:58Syndrome who told me at a friend's

57:01funeral that he can see it all the time

57:04he said life isn't so sad after the

57:07light comes and opens your heart and I

57:09was like who told you that and he told

57:12me that when he was 13 a light had

57:14appeared in his

57:16bedroom and filled him with peace and

57:19told him I'm your teacher you can do

57:22this wow and I said you know I can see

57:25the lot I I said the light told me it's

57:27always with us even though we can't see

57:29it and Adam said oh I can see it and I

57:33was like what now you can he was like

57:36yeah can't you I was like no where is it

57:39is it up there in here and he said Mom

57:42it's

57:43everywhere it's

57:45everywhere you have this

57:48incredible um exercise that you walk

57:51people through that I do think can help

57:54you feel and see the light and it's

57:59called ideal Perfect Day the ideal day

58:02yeah can you walk us through it sure

58:04it's really simple and now we're you got

58:07you're grounded in your body this is the

58:09track we have to follow the track this

58:11is how you track forward so we're

58:14recording this in 2024 end of

58:172024 how far would you like to go in the

58:19future we're going to do time travel so

58:21you I don't do hypotheticals I want to

58:23know what you're you're going to do um I

58:25I immediately thought a decade 10 years

58:28okay so and is that a good thing okay 10

58:31years okay so it's 2034 okay and think

58:34about you don't have to say it think

58:35about the age you'll be and the age your

58:38husband your children will be sort of

58:40move your mind forward like a calendar

58:43now here are the

58:44instructions your life is absolutely

58:48what it was meant to be every expression

58:50of your greatest joy and your greatest

58:54fulfillment this you're going to wake W

58:56up on a day that is an ordinary day in a

58:59perfect life in an ideal life so what

59:03I'm going to do is I'll prompt you with

59:04a few things and I want you to let your

59:06senses answer these questions not your

59:09mind so your mind can't time travel it

59:13it will tell you it can but it can't

59:14only the body can time travel and this

59:16is how it goes you wake up on this

59:20morning and you don't even open your

59:22eyes you listen what do you hear on this

59:26day an ordinary day in your perfect life

59:30in

59:322034 what do you hear you want me to

59:35tell you yeah um I hear

59:38waves and I hear little kids laughing ah

59:42okay so smell the air don't open your

59:45eyes it what what do you smell

59:48salt coffee I'm seeing a theme

59:51here all right open your eyes look at

59:55the sheets what color are they white

59:59look at the floor what what does it look

1:00:01like wood yeah it's a wide planked wood

1:00:04floor that's sort of

1:00:07uh it's kind of um it's not shiny it's

1:00:11like worn cool look over across from you

1:00:14in the bed who's there if

1:00:17anyone Chris loaded question okay great

1:00:21um look at the look at the room what do

1:00:25you see the whole room

1:00:26um it's very um like

1:00:32uh like just kind of modern and unfussy

1:00:36and beautiful and are there photographs

1:00:40on the walls no there was a there was

1:00:42like a painting or a photograph okay

1:00:45what does it look like it's um it was

1:00:48like a a big beach scene ah this theme

1:00:52is strong very strong all right are

1:00:56there windows in the room uh there's one

1:00:59okay get up and go to the window and

1:01:01look out what do you see your life is

1:01:03perfect what do you see the ocean okay

1:01:06it could also be like the Alps and the

1:01:08Sahara like you can see anything there

1:01:10are no rules here okay it's just

1:01:12imagination yeah but you see the ocean

1:01:14MH um is it like a tropical Ocean or is

1:01:17it Northern no it's sort of Northern

1:01:19okay Rocky or just

1:01:23Sandy don't think just the ocean cool

1:01:28all right so you go into your bathroom

1:01:32uhhuh it's the perfect bathroom look at

1:01:34the design of the everything in the

1:01:36bathroom and then look at yourself in

1:01:39the mirror and you are your healthiest

1:01:41most

1:01:42radiant um physically fit

1:01:46self take that in you are looking

1:01:51fabulous yes and so you do your morning

1:01:54stuff take shower or whatever

1:01:56then you go to your closet and open the

1:01:58door this is very

1:01:59important the clothes in your closet

1:02:02reflect everything you do in your

1:02:05perfect life because you have to wear

1:02:08different things like so I always ask

1:02:10people look at the

1:02:12shoes what kinds of shoes do you have oh

1:02:16they're all like flip-flops and birken

1:02:17socks there's no like strappy sandals

1:02:20heel nope um hiking boots a not at this

1:02:24house woo you have more than one house

1:02:27see how that came in this is fabulous so

1:02:30this is your beach house yes clearly and

1:02:34you do not do Formal Wear No at the

1:02:37beach house so what you're G to do now

1:02:40Chris is still in the bed maybe you go

1:02:42into the kitchen and you walk through

1:02:45this

1:02:46house look as you walk through the house

1:02:49see if there are pictures of events that

1:02:51have happened like like right now I can

1:02:53see a picture behind you of a wonderful

1:02:56family trip to the the ocean look for

1:02:59the pictures that have that have been

1:03:00taken in the Years between 2024 and

1:03:042034 uh two weddings awesome yeah cool

1:03:09um

1:03:11wow um grand babies M oh good is it

1:03:16their laughter you can hear yeah Oh I

1:03:18thought so I love it I love

1:03:21that can you feel that you are creating

1:03:25this future as we got go through this MH

1:03:29you're you are out of anxiety and into

1:03:31imagination and the tears in your eyes

1:03:33tell me it's real yeah you're finding

1:03:37your purpose right now and the things

1:03:41that bring tears to your eyes are the

1:03:42real purpose forget career forget money

1:03:45forget all that when you're

1:03:47dying it's the pictures of your

1:03:49grandkids you're going to look at like

1:03:50it's it's the the hugs they give you

1:03:53it's stuff that the society says isn't

1:03:55valuable because there's no money

1:03:56attached to it that's when I

1:04:00walk people through this we go through

1:04:02the whole day who's in the

1:04:03kitchen and walk all the way I won't do

1:04:07it now because it would take the whole

1:04:08session but you go through the whole

1:04:10morning and see I'll ask you what do you

1:04:12do in the

1:04:14mornings um well you know what's

1:04:16interesting is um I walk the beach I

1:04:20have uh a big thing of water I uh

1:04:25practice yog yoga I read on the

1:04:28porch

1:04:31um who's there I'm just hanging my

1:04:34family and my parents a that's can you

1:04:39feel how free that is yeah like you

1:04:45because you've done so much in the world

1:04:47that says you know be a lawyer be that

1:04:49you go all that stuff that was harsh and

1:04:51cruel and sort of tried to knock the

1:04:53sentimentality out of you it was pushing

1:04:56you away from your purpose and into fear

1:04:58into anxiety because when we leave the

1:05:01track of our joy a natural response is

1:05:05to be terrified and then we get stuck in

1:05:08that spiral and we can't come back but

1:05:11when you begin to create which you just

1:05:14did with your senses and your

1:05:16imagination not verbal mind don't be

1:05:19counting things and measuring how it's

1:05:21going to happen no that's all left

1:05:24hemisphere thinking

1:05:26senses and joy that's how you track your

1:05:31future and as you track it you create

1:05:34it I wanted to ask you about the senses

1:05:37yeah

1:05:39because what happens when you tap into

1:05:44that

1:05:45creativity and you really navigate

1:05:49through a day like that using only

1:05:52senses because I did catch myself at

1:05:54times and I'm sure as you were listening

1:05:56and you were imagining your ideal day

1:05:59you caught yourself thinking too yeah

1:06:02and it takes you out of the feel yeah

1:06:05why do the senses matter and why do they

1:06:09help you unlock your sense of purpose

1:06:11and joy and tap into this creativity I'm

1:06:15so glad you asked and again I don't want

1:06:17to get all sciencey here but the left

1:06:19hemisphere of the brain which is

1:06:21glorified by our society that left

1:06:24hemisphere is what talks and counts and

1:06:26measures time and thinks of problems and

1:06:29tries to like get what it wants and it's

1:06:32very fear-based so it gets stuck in

1:06:35anxiety when you go to the senses if I

1:06:38asked you you know imagine the taste of

1:06:40lemon immediately the the right

1:06:42hemisphere would start to light up the

1:06:44senses and our sense of being in place

1:06:47activate the right Hemisphere and so

1:06:49does

1:06:50imagination so and creativity like sums

1:06:53it all up so any artist is just in the

1:06:56present moment very much in contact with

1:07:00what we're making and not stuck in fear

1:07:04at all the interesting thing is that

1:07:06after you come out of a session of that

1:07:09because your right hemisphere doesn't

1:07:11track time and you go back into the

1:07:13verbal left hemisphere it will say well

1:07:15that was

1:07:16nothing that that didn't even happen

1:07:18there was no time I don't know what you

1:07:20were doing what what is that about So

1:07:23when you say you know I say oh yeah

1:07:25pleas and white light and everything and

1:07:27you're like uh how does that add up it's

1:07:30the right hemisphere that gives us our

1:07:32sense of meaning our sense of connection

1:07:35our sense of joy and the mind that goes

1:07:41no that actually is a completely

1:07:43different part of the

1:07:44brain but as I said anxiety shuts down

1:07:47creativity but creativity shuts down

1:07:50anxiety so while you were doing the

1:07:52ideal day how anxious were you zero yeah

1:07:55nothing yep just pure feeling yeah and

1:07:59that's how animals live you know they

1:08:02don't have I remember watching this

1:08:04movie about bears it was called

1:08:08bears and it there's this grizzly mama

1:08:12who comes out of hibernation she's got

1:08:13two Cubs and she's in the Sun and

1:08:16they're nursing and she's like you know

1:08:18how I don't know if you nurs breastfed

1:08:20your kids you got oxytocin like

1:08:22squirting out of your ears it's the

1:08:24cuddle hormone and

1:08:26the narrator says the mother bear is

1:08:29happy but she's worried about her milk

1:08:31supply and I'm watching it I'm like no

1:08:34she's not she's most definitively not

1:08:37worrying about anything look at her

1:08:41face it's just

1:08:43language some scientists some

1:08:45psychologists set out to to discover why

1:08:47we have all species on Earth there's a

1:08:49certain proportion of us that take our

1:08:51own lives on purpose no other animal

1:08:54does that that we know of and the answer

1:08:57to why we do that is

1:08:59language because of the way we think in

1:09:02language and time we can construct a

1:09:06future that is so painful to live with

1:09:08that it outweighs our fear of

1:09:11death a structure made of nothing but

1:09:14words and thoughts can torture us until

1:09:17we want to die and I lived that way for

1:09:21about 32 years and then I decided I was

1:09:25going to live in that the awareness of

1:09:28that light was that surgery the moment

1:09:32that you made the decision that you were

1:09:34not going to live like that anymore

1:09:36pretty much I came out of it and that

1:09:37was when I took my first um what I call

1:09:40an Integrity cleanse I decided not to

1:09:42tell a single lie for a year not a lie

1:09:45of any kind what was that like

1:09:48like you know don't believe in My

1:09:51Religion there that goes okay those

1:09:52friends don't like me now they think I'm

1:09:54the devil okay bye

1:09:56that goes in because I wouldn't say to

1:09:57them you know I really you know I see

1:10:00why I would just go no what you're

1:10:03saying makes no sense to me at

1:10:05all and

1:10:07so I came out of that with a a model

1:10:10which is burn every bridge but

1:10:13love like if there's a bridge that's

1:10:15connecting you to suffering and tragedy

1:10:18and pain and lack of authenticity it

1:10:21will kill you burn

1:10:23it I much more more gentle with clients

1:10:27I just say maybe for try a day where you

1:10:32don't lie at all and just notice the

1:10:35places where you have been lying and

1:10:38don't lie to yourself what do people

1:10:40discover when they even just go through

1:10:42a day yeah and they don't tell a lie and

1:10:45I realize there's a difference

1:10:47between being harsh and truthful yeah

1:10:51and telling the truth with a little bit

1:10:52of compassion yeah you learn to be very

1:10:54gentle

1:10:55about the truth but what do people what

1:10:57do you find that when you go through a

1:10:59day of Integrity yeah and you tell not a

1:11:02single lie what are the things that come

1:11:04up for people over and over again over

1:11:06and over you notice that you are lying

1:11:08to fit in that it's all about what I

1:11:11call the Social self that um you know

1:11:15not to lie about things like did I leave

1:11:17the stove on but when you're with

1:11:20someone who says um oh I just love you

1:11:24and you feel that they

1:11:26don't just noticed oh I would have gone

1:11:29along with that and kind of believed it

1:11:32before oh okay and I would during that

1:11:35year I was so clumsy so people would say

1:11:37oh I really miss you and I would say

1:11:39something like I miss the concept of you

1:11:42as a friend and and people were so put

1:11:45off and so offended but I was in agony

1:11:49and I had to get out and every truth I

1:11:53told it they it's true the truth will

1:11:56set you free but it's the truth about

1:11:58little things like am I lying to make

1:12:01the other person feel

1:12:02good you can say what you're going to

1:12:04say but know that you're telling a lie

1:12:07yeah and don't tell it to yourself and

1:12:09that will set you free some of the work

1:12:12that you've done that has truly changed

1:12:15my life is about learning how to follow

1:12:17your

1:12:18Northstar and finding that true north

1:12:21yeah can you explain to the person

1:12:24listening and

1:12:26they're in a place in their life where

1:12:28they don't even know who they are like I

1:12:31it's kind of an odd thing to say but I

1:12:33think it's a very common experience to

1:12:34go I don't even know who I am like or

1:12:36I've lost myself in this relationship

1:12:38I've lost myself in work I I I have lost

1:12:41a sense of what's actually important to

1:12:43me yeah yeah everybody gets lost and the

1:12:47thing is that we live in a cloudy world

1:12:50it's very hard to see the North Star if

1:12:54it's cloudy all the time and the

1:12:55thoughts we are told to think are like

1:12:57clouds so if you think the thought I'm

1:12:59not good enough that's a huge Cloud Bank

1:13:02as long as you believe that you won't be

1:13:04able to see the stars so where does that

1:13:07leave you well it leaves you with

1:13:09several inbuilt compasses that are

1:13:12always turning toward True North no

1:13:15matter how cloudy it gets the most

1:13:17reliable one is your body you it will

1:13:20give you suffering as a gift to stop you

1:13:23from going any direction but Norm

1:13:25let me make sure I got this so

1:13:29suffering is a gift because it stops you

1:13:33from going any direction other than your

1:13:35true north it's almost like it spins the

1:13:37compass it just says not North

1:13:40absolutely not North and so do you and

1:13:43what you've been teaching us is invite

1:13:45the suffering in and then tell and then

1:13:49flip it to the opposite and it will say

1:13:51pain pain pain pain you you hear it out

1:13:54and and then you get to the core of it

1:13:56and you say the opposite of that is

1:13:59North the opposite of that is my truth

1:14:02is My Destiny is my purpose and I know

1:14:05it will be hard to imagine that it's

1:14:09very hard but just sitting with it the

1:14:12reason I wrote about anxiety is that I

1:14:14WR I'd written a book about

1:14:16integrity and people came to me and they

1:14:18said well I'm in total Integrity now I

1:14:19don't lie at all but I'm afraid all the

1:14:21time and I was like well you can't tell

1:14:24the truth and be afraid all the

1:14:27time but I only know that because I've

1:14:29spent like hours and hours and hours

1:14:31meditating and looking at every thought

1:14:33that scares me and saying okay is that

1:14:36true right

1:14:38now the other day things were going on

1:14:41in the world that I didn't like and I

1:14:44was meditating and I was saying to

1:14:46whatever that's what I call God whatever

1:14:49I was like how can I be at peace even in

1:14:52the middle of this and AO voice inside

1:14:55me said you mean your

1:14:58bedroom come into the present moment

1:15:01come into what's actually happened come

1:15:03into the things you thought would

1:15:05annihilate you and notice that they all

1:15:08helped you be free and so then I wrote a

1:15:12book about anxiety because I realized

1:15:13that physically in the brain people are

1:15:15getting stuck there and so you have to

1:15:17use creativity to pull yourself out and

1:15:20then you can see the truth because it

1:15:22feels wonderful so the body will go ah

1:15:26not North and you go what's a slightly

1:15:30improved thought I'm okay right now okay

1:15:34more North I've been okay A long time

1:15:37more North I'll always be okay even when

1:15:41I die oh do

1:15:43North you know I I have I don't know why

1:15:46this sense of someone

1:15:48listening that

1:15:50is really scared to either end of

1:15:54relationship ship yeah or to quit a job

1:16:00and start something yeah or to do like

1:16:03you did and say this doesn't work for me

1:16:05and I'm going to tell you and risk

1:16:09having people say well then I don't love

1:16:12you anymore and they do and they do yeah

1:16:16um how can you use this true north to

1:16:21help you make the right decision even

1:16:23though in that moment it always feel so

1:16:25wrong you know what I mean like ites it

1:16:28feels scary it feels very frightening

1:16:31and you tell yourself a lot of stories

1:16:33about if I lose this if I let go of this

1:16:37I will suffer it will be

1:16:38horrible and if you look back at like

1:16:42now I'm old enough that I can look back

1:16:43on the history of things that I thought

1:16:45would destroy me and I always thought if

1:16:47I lose this horrible things will happen

1:16:51and it turned into if I don't lose this

1:16:54horrible things will happen oh crap if

1:16:56I'd stayed in the things that I walked

1:16:58away from oh my God that was horrible

1:17:01and it also could be um if I go

1:17:05wonderful things will happen to me if I

1:17:07let go of this amazing wonderful things

1:17:10could happen to me don't look at the at

1:17:13the goalie look at the

1:17:15spaces and feel in your body that your

1:17:18body is saying yeah that feels truer

1:17:20that feels

1:17:21more check your breath like if you're

1:17:24used to watching your breath in

1:17:26meditation you'll notice that when you

1:17:29say a true thought your body

1:17:32goes and your just literally

1:17:36expands that thought may go against

1:17:39everything everybody in your life has

1:17:41always told you where it all comes down

1:17:44is believe that thought against

1:17:48everything else it is so hard to do it's

1:17:53so hard and that's why my most recent

1:17:56craze is

1:17:58community and you talk in your work a

1:18:00lot about the sense of community and

1:18:02separation from Community we are social

1:18:06primates we need each other a horse in

1:18:10catastrophe will look for a safe place a

1:18:12social Predator like us will look for a

1:18:16safe person a safe safe

1:18:18other and when I did that when I left

1:18:21everything I was very much I have to do

1:18:23this alone and I thought that was really

1:18:25true because our society is

1:18:26individualistic I have to do this alone

1:18:29right and it was almost like a challenge

1:18:30I'm going to do this alone and it was

1:18:33horrible and it took me years because I

1:18:35had so little trust in other people

1:18:38because they did diss me they did tell

1:18:41me I was the Antichrist they did my

1:18:44family tried to have me put in prison

1:18:47like the people I loved most were doing

1:18:50these things and it was

1:18:51horrific and um I didn't trust Community

1:18:56for for some years after that and then

1:18:59over time I realized that I was lying to

1:19:01myself thinking I'm not securely

1:19:04connected to

1:19:05anyone and then sitting with I am

1:19:08securely connected to

1:19:11everyone a part of me Rose up then that

1:19:15knows that and is looking at you in the

1:19:18audience and there are 3,000 people and

1:19:20maybe they everybody else is asleep but

1:19:22I am connected to you because we're all

1:19:26connected to each other and that it's

1:19:29not what our society tells us which is

1:19:31why my online community is called Wilder

1:19:33it's a Wilder way to be to know that you

1:19:37are securely connected to everyone and

1:19:40if they don't love you just look at them

1:19:42and say oh sweetheart and let them and

1:19:45then you say let me know that I am

1:19:48connected to you and when you come back

1:19:51and a few people came back to me after

1:19:5330 years or so

1:19:55I am loving you the whole way and then

1:19:58your heart never

1:20:00breaks in a way that feels

1:20:03toxic it breaks

1:20:06open um

1:20:09just

1:20:10beautiful a lot of people wake up in a

1:20:12life that just doesn't feel good to them

1:20:14oh yeah and what would you

1:20:18say to that person right now

1:20:21congratulations this is very exciting oh

1:20:24my God God this is the best thing that

1:20:26could happen to you why because it means

1:20:29that you know I always wonder

1:20:31caterpillars they come out and they're

1:20:33like I'm going to get bigger I will be a

1:20:34bigger caterpillar Munch Munch Munch and

1:20:36then I wonder what what are they

1:20:38thinking the day they go wait I will

1:20:41make a tiny sleeping bag out of my own

1:20:42saliva and I will go in there and

1:20:45completely dissolve because that's what

1:20:46they do in there theyve they melt into a

1:20:49liquid some species if you cut open the

1:20:52Cocoon it's liquid inside and when it's

1:20:55totally disaggregated when it's complete

1:20:59bug

1:21:00soup it triggers this response and the

1:21:03DNA starts reconstructing a butterfly

1:21:05out of those same cells but it's the

1:21:08caterpillar's gone and the Butterfly is

1:21:09not there

1:21:10yet when you think what is this life

1:21:14this is not me it's you knowing it's

1:21:17time to

1:21:18transform and I would say if you came to

1:21:22me let's make your cocoon we're going to

1:21:24create a safe space with safe people

1:21:27join something join a book club join a

1:21:28church join an online community join

1:21:31something because you're going to need a

1:21:33cocooning space and you need people

1:21:34around you you can trust and those

1:21:36people are there find them your heart

1:21:39will lead you to them you'll recognize

1:21:41them mine were mostly authors of books

1:21:43who'd been dead for centuries you know

1:21:46but as a coach or as coaches we get to

1:21:50say we'll help you build the Cocoon and

1:21:53then we're going to watch you Mel

1:21:55you know which is it's about grieving

1:21:57the loss of the life you thought you'd

1:21:59have grieving the people you love who

1:22:01aren't coming with you grieving the loss

1:22:04of your identity grieving the loss of

1:22:06your physical ident whatever and then

1:22:09when you're completely relaxed when

1:22:11you've said let them to absolutely

1:22:13everything something will

1:22:16go I think I'll change my hair it's

1:22:20always one of the first things people do

1:22:22is they change their hair really yeah

1:22:26it's because haircuts are one of the

1:22:29primary signs of identity this is social

1:22:33science so when people change their

1:22:36hairstyle it's a real um it's a signal

1:22:40to the rest of society in the world this

1:22:42is who I am now and then they start

1:22:45rearranging their Furniture then they

1:22:47start they sell their car and get

1:22:49another one you're nodding has it

1:22:50happened to you the furniture

1:22:52rearranging when I have been the most

1:22:54stuck in

1:22:54miserable especially when I have no

1:22:56money yeah I literally rearrange the

1:23:00furniture wherever I live all the time

1:23:02yeah all the time yeah and it became

1:23:05like a joke in our family because the

1:23:07kids would come home from school and

1:23:08they'd be like how did you move the

1:23:09couch by yourself and I'm like I'm got a

1:23:12lot of energy really stuck right now so

1:23:15I'm GNA think my life will feel better

1:23:17if I push the couch against that wall

1:23:19and look where you are right now

1:23:22millions of people listening to you

1:23:23guess what it's true you had a lot of

1:23:26energy you moved the couch you shifted

1:23:28the inside as you shifted the outside

1:23:31and this is what is happening right now

1:23:33which is pretty freaking awesome Mel

1:23:36well you know what I love is that you

1:23:38have so many tools because you're

1:23:41validating the experience and and

1:23:43actually applauding its arrival yes of

1:23:46being stuck or feeling like you your

1:23:49life doesn't fit yeah or having no

1:23:52purpose and Martha Beck is literally

1:23:54giving you a standing ovation and saying

1:23:56welcome to the transformation it's so

1:23:59exciting and get ready for the haircut

1:24:01and the furniture moving around as

1:24:03you're shifting energy and recognizing

1:24:05this but even just that

1:24:08exercise of the ideal day yeah gets you

1:24:11out of the thinking trap and into what

1:24:15you write about in your book beyond

1:24:17anxiety which is asking what can I

1:24:19create yeah and that

1:24:21exercise through your senses and

1:24:23visualiz of the ideal day yeah you

1:24:27experience something different yes

1:24:29completely before it exists yeah and so

1:24:32if

1:24:34somebody's hanging on to every

1:24:37word right now what is the most

1:24:41important step that they could take away

1:24:44from this

1:24:45conversation I think it's shifting from

1:24:48what do I do now to what do I make now

1:24:54what can I do now what can I make now

1:24:57the moment you ask what can I make you

1:25:00you awaken your creativity and your

1:25:02anxiety as you think it through just

1:25:05notice the anxiety will go to zero and

1:25:07you will start making communities you

1:25:09will start making art you will start

1:25:11making pies you will start making

1:25:13friends you will start making things

1:25:15because we are endlessly generative

1:25:17beings and when we think in anxiety we

1:25:21generate anxiety when we think about

1:25:23danger and isolation we generate them

1:25:26when we think about invention and

1:25:29Imagination and sensory Delights and

1:25:32cuddles and puppies and like I mean it

1:25:35sounds so cheesy but let's make a world

1:25:38that is joyful and abundant and

1:25:40beautiful and we can do it just by

1:25:42saying instead of oh God what do I do

1:25:44now what can I make now and the moment

1:25:47you really literally like put something

1:25:50in your hands and start making something

1:25:52your whole brain will be different and

1:25:53then your whole life will be different

1:25:55oh I love that do you have something

1:25:58that you recommend when you're working

1:26:02with somebody who just has a lot of fear

1:26:04yeah so you can do the visualization you

1:26:08can understand the true north you can

1:26:13truly keep asking yourself what can I

1:26:15create but then the fear and the anxiety

1:26:18and you're just so like like you and I

1:26:20have been right for years in our life

1:26:24yes decades yeah so the first thing it's

1:26:27not enough to say go get oil oil paints

1:26:29you'll feel good no there are three

1:26:32steps and I remember them with the

1:26:33acronym cat k a t so a is Art making

1:26:38things and T is transformation and

1:26:40Transcendence but K is

1:26:43kindness and everything depends on

1:26:47kindness there's something I call kissed

1:26:50k i s t kind internal selft talk when

1:26:54you're afraid just say these things you

1:26:56don't have to believe them say it to

1:26:58yourself all day long I'm here it's okay

1:27:02you're all right I've got you you're GNA

1:27:05get through this I've got you I'm here

1:27:08it's okay maybe let's get a blanket

1:27:12would you like some tea tell me

1:27:14everything I'm listening oh that sounds

1:27:17like it hurts you're loved I'm here

1:27:21you're okay that's how I got en out of

1:27:24the deepest like most horrific fear and

1:27:29let me tell you it was bad and that was

1:27:31the only thing that brought me back from

1:27:33the darkness and so when I'm working

1:27:36with people I used to be all like let's

1:27:37build your ideal life and now I'm like

1:27:40good we know your ideal life

1:27:42now tell me about your

1:27:44fear tell me everything you're going to

1:27:48be okay we've got you I've got

1:27:52you yeah

1:27:55you know you you started by saying that

1:27:57you went back to Cambridge yeah where

1:28:00you were when you were 25 years old and

1:28:03we expecting Adam which is also the

1:28:06title of the first book of yours that I

1:28:08ever read yeah and

1:28:12um what would you go back and

1:28:17tell yourself at that

1:28:21age I would say not a single painful

1:28:24experience you're having will ever be

1:28:27wasted Hear Me Now understand me

1:28:30later nothing is ever wasted nothing

1:28:33you've never made a wrong choice you're

1:28:36only here to experience life as this

1:28:38sort of hapless little

1:28:41creature nothing you do is wrong because

1:28:44you're here your soul is here to

1:28:45experience life and your soul is not

1:28:48afraid to suffer but it's Destiny will

1:28:52always be Joy and it will there will

1:28:55only be more joy because of everything

1:28:57you've suffered it's all precious it's

1:29:00all good you've never put a foot

1:29:04wrong wow yeah if the person listening

1:29:09who just spent a bunch of time with us

1:29:11takes just one thing from this and you

1:29:13could wave a magic wand and pick what it

1:29:15would be what do you want them to take

1:29:20away you're safe

1:29:24I was listening to the sound of the

1:29:26planets these NASA spacecraft go by and

1:29:30they get R radio waves and can transform

1:29:32them into sounds you can NASA space

1:29:34Sounds go Google it it's great and my

1:29:37son Adam walked by and he did a double

1:29:40take and he can barely talk but he came

1:29:42into the room and he said what are those

1:29:43sounds I have those sounds in my body

1:29:46and we were

1:29:47like you do he was like yeah we said

1:29:49well that's the planets and he was like

1:29:50oh the

1:29:51message and he said like and we were

1:29:54like what he said the message like the

1:29:58call we said oh message he said yeah and

1:30:02I said so the planets are sending us a

1:30:05message and he said yes always and I

1:30:09said what's the message and he said that

1:30:11we're

1:30:13safe we're safe I know it doesn't feel

1:30:16that way but you're safe you're

1:30:19safe even if it looks really dark and

1:30:22dangerous there is a deep deep way in

1:30:26which you are always safe always loved

1:30:30always held always

1:30:32cherished and there's a ton of us out

1:30:35here for you better believe it what are

1:30:38your parting

1:30:39words I love you m I love you

1:30:43person I

1:30:46do I love you thank you for um changing

1:30:50my life oh thank you for changing mine

1:30:54you're beautiful and you're

1:30:58beautiful

1:30:59wow Martha Beck what fun what fun and um

1:31:05in case no one else tells you today I

1:31:08wanted to be sure to tell you what

1:31:10Martha told you to which is I love you

1:31:12and I believe in you and I believe in

1:31:14your ability to create a better life and

1:31:17there is zero doubt in my mind if you

1:31:19take anything that Martha shared with us

1:31:22today and you pour pour it into yourself

1:31:25you will and I also want to thank you

1:31:28for watching all the way to the end I

1:31:30cannot wait to see what happens in your

1:31:34life when you use all of the insights

1:31:37and the tools that Martha just shared

1:31:40with you I especially can't wait to hear

1:31:42the details of your ideal day and I'm

1:31:45excited for the people in your life that

1:31:46you share this with this was a really

1:31:50incredible conversation and I hope you

1:31:51truly lean into it and one more thing

1:31:54hit subscribe it's one way that you can

1:31:57show me and my team that you really love

1:32:00the fact that we're putting up videos

1:32:01every day that we're giving you access

1:32:03to world-renowned experts like Martha

1:32:05Beck and that we're giving you resources

1:32:07that you can share with the people that

1:32:08you care about and I know you're the

1:32:09kind of person that loves supporting

1:32:11people who support you so thank you

1:32:13thank you thank you for being here with

1:32:15me thank you for watching these videos

1:32:16and sharing them I really love doing

1:32:18this and I love spending time with you

1:32:21and let's spend some more time together

1:32:23if you want to watch another video this

1:32:24is the one that I recommend and I'm

1:32:26going to be waiting for you in it as

1:32:28soon as you hit play I'll see you there