Отношения с женщиной с ребенком. Девушка с ребенком? Личный опыт

0:01If you're considering a relationship

0:02with a woman with a child , you should

0:04definitely find out how many men she's

0:06had in her bed since the divorce . You

0:09need to say this carefully , in a

0:11relaxed atmosphere , but you definitely

0:13wanted to feel desirable and beautiful

0:15again after the divorce . Well , any

0:19normal girl wants intimacy . How did you

0:21even get through that period ? She'll

0:23probably say , " Oh , I never had anyone .

0:26I was just coming to my senses , I just

0:28had no time for men . " It's unlikely

0:30there'll be any casual encounters . So

0:32you can say , " Come on , come on , we're

0:34adults , normal people . You're a

0:37striking , vibrant , vibrant woman . Now ,

0:39if you told me you'd been sitting

0:41around knitting socks for a year , I'd

0:43never have believed you . But I'm not

0:46talking about finding a husband , I'm

0:48talking about meeting , flirting , some

0:50kind of romantic affair . Well , in your

0:54case , who was it ? A new acquaintance or

0:57maybe a man from the past ? Even if she

0:59denies it , he says , " No , no , I told you

1:02, there was no one . " You can tell him , "

1:04Listen , I think we're communicating

1:05honestly . " With this kind of

1:07communication algorithm , 90 % of women ,

1:09if they've had someone , will definitely

1:10admit it . Yes , they might understate it

1:13, but they'll still admit it . If you

1:15find out that she immediately ran to

1:17dating sites or started sleeping with

1:19someone for health reasons , right now

1:20ending communication with her , because

1:22a decent woman , especially a mother ,

1:24will not engage in casual relationships

1:26. A sane woman will only let a man

1:29approach her when she sees a potential

1:31husband in him . Now pay attention . This

1:34is a very common scenario when a woman

1:36continues to sleep with her ex-husband

1:38after a divorce . This happens much more

1:41often than you think . And a woman will

1:43never tell you about it . But I'll give

1:46you a hint . This happens in cases where

1:48the ex-husband is a sweetheart , he's

1:51been left on a short leash . He comes

1:53running at the first whistle , well ,

1:55under the pretext of helping with the

1:56child , carrying groceries or fixing an

1:58outlet . He flies to her at any time of

2:00the day or night . He still loves her .

2:03And so women often use such exes ,

2:05satisfying not only financial but also

2:08physiological needs . It is precisely

2:11with such submissive , convenient

2:13ex-husbands that women continue to

2:15sleep until they finally find a

2:17replacement . Let's move on . If you

2:19liked a woman with a child , then be

2:21sure to find out who her Ex . If she's a

2:24widow , try to understand whether she

2:26was able to survive the loss of her

2:27husband . The thing is , it's impossible

2:30to compete with a dead man , because

2:32he's always perfect . And if she

2:34couldn't completely let go of her ex ,

2:37then she won't be able to love you .

2:40Another scenario . She says , " My husband

2:43left me . " The question arises : why did

2:45he leave ? If he left for another woman ,

2:47then that's fine with us , because good

2:49and kind women are often left for new

2:50emotions . But what if he left for

2:53another woman because the relationship

2:55was unbearable ? She completely screwed

2:57him , drove him under the baseboard , and

2:59he just ran away flashing his heels .

3:01You should definitely find out about

3:03this . There's a third option . She left

3:05her husband herself . If he drank and

3:07beat her , well , the reason is more than

3:09valid , she'll say so . She won't hide it

3:11. Well , clarify , did he drink every day

3:13or a couple of times a month with

3:15friends ? Because some women An

3:16alcoholic is any man who drank beer on

3:18Friday after a hard week at work , and a

3:21tyrant is someone who forbade him from

3:23hanging out at clubs with his divorced

3:25girlfriends . Problem women masterfully

3:28rewrite history to appear martyred and

3:31suffering in the eyes of a new man . But

3:36the worst scenario is when a woman with

3:38a child divorces her husband . And you

3:41ask her why ? Well , what was the reason

3:43for the divorce ? You were left alone

3:44with a child . Well , I realized we were

3:46different people . I stopped feeling for

3:48him . He wasn't developing , there was

3:49little romance . We were living like

3:51neighbors . This is a classic excuse

3:54when a woman is simply bored . And in

3:58such a case , to test her thoroughly ,

4:00you should ask : " What have you done to

4:02fix this , to improve the relationship ?

4:05" " Well , name the specific steps . Well ,

4:07and if you didn't do anything , then

4:09maybe that's why you divorced your

4:11husband . In short , if you find out that

4:14her husband is a more or less normal ,

4:16standard man who brought home money ,

4:17behaved more or less adequately , and

4:19she just got bored , she can't give a

4:21clear , understandable reason :

4:22immediately put her on the black list .

4:26Because if a woman was able to devalue

4:27and dump a father , the father of her

4:29child , due to a lack of butterflies in

4:30her stomach , then in a few years she

4:32will treat you much worse . Let's move

4:34on . If you are considering a

4:37relationship with a woman with a child ,

4:39then you must understand in advance

4:40that her ex-husband has every right to

4:42see the child . He can call , come , take

4:46the child on weekends , discuss his

4:48treatment , school with your woman . He

4:51will come to your home to pick up the

4:53child , stand on the doorstep . I know

4:55many examples when a successful

4:56relationship with a woman with The

4:58relationship with the child was falling

4:59apart due to the ex-husband's

5:01inappropriate behavior . And keep in

5:03mind , just because the ex-husband isn't

5:05in her life right now doesn't mean he

5:07won't show up . Maybe he's currently

5:11hooked on some student from Mlotki , and

5:13as soon as they break up , he'll start

5:15pestering your ex . So he asked the

5:17woman point-blank : " How are you

5:19communicating with him now ? How often

5:21does he see the child ? Is he in a

5:23relationship or has a family ? What

5:25happens if he wants to see you more

5:27often ? " " Let's move on . If you want to

5:30start a relationship with a woman with

5:32a child , then the most important

5:33question , the most important one , is

5:35whether she still has feelings for her

5:37ex ? The difficulty is that if she still

5:40has feelings for him , she will never

5:43admit it to you . No girl will say , " You

5:46know , I sleep with you , but I cry at

5:48night because of my ex . " Of course , she

5:51will go into complete denial , say that

5:54she hates him or doesn't care about him

5:56. And you must have colossal experience

6:00to distinguish lies from genuine

6:02indifference . And why is this important

6:06? Because if he has even a drop of

6:08affection left , then one fine day , when

6:10her ex-husband calls her , everything

6:12seems to be fine , and suddenly he calls

6:14and says , " Listen , I get it , let's try

6:16again for the sake of the child . " Let

6:19me come over now and talk . " She will ,

6:20without a second thought , pack her

6:22things and leave you in one day . And

6:24society will support her in this .

6:25Everyone will say : " She returned to her

6:27family . She returned for the sake of

6:28the child . She's a great girl . " But the

6:31fact that she betrayed you , no one will

6:33say a word about it . Therefore , you

6:35should find out how much time has

6:37passed since the divorce , how satisfied

6:38she was with the relationship a year

6:40before the divorce . But if she says

6:42that everything was great , well , it

6:44turns out that she didn’t want to

6:46leave him , since everything was great .

6:48And in this case , where is the

6:49guarantee that she won’t come back to

6:50him as soon as he invites her back ? And

6:53this , by the way , is a very common

6:55scenario : as soon as the ex-husband

6:57finds out that his wife has another man

7:00, he becomes jealous , makes advances .

7:03His possessive instinct kicks in . Well ,

7:05something like : " My toy , I won’t give

7:07it to anyone . " That's it , things are

7:09getting worse . You must be prepared for

7:11such a turn of events . And if you see a

7:13woman trying to hide the fact that

7:15she's having a relationship with you

7:17from her ex-husband , that's a bad sign .

7:20She's probably leaving the door open

7:22for him . Let's move on . If you're

7:24considering a relationship with a woman

7:26with a child , she should let you know

7:28right away that she's open to having

7:30children together sometime in the next

7:32couple of years . But if a woman starts

7:34whining , " Oh , I'm not ready yet , I need

7:37to get this guy on his feet first . Okay

7:40, maybe in five years , I want to live

7:41for myself for now , it's too early . "

7:44Just turn around and walk away . The

7:46relationship ends there , because who

7:48are you to her ? A slicker , a

7:50comfortable , safe man who will fill

7:52financial holes , do renovations , or

7:55take you to the seaside . If a woman

7:57truly loves you and sees Jacques for

7:59you , then she'll naturally want a child

8:02too . But any normal woman with a child ,

8:05if she really likes you , if she's a

8:07decent person , she'll usually mention

8:09it herself , without any leading

8:11questions , just casually . She'll say , "

8:14You know , I'd like to have another

8:15child ; I want my son to have a brother

8:17or sister . " So , it's important to her

8:19that a man knows this . A woman with a

8:22child is usually in her early 30s . In

8:25most cases , if she says , " Let's have a

8:27child not now , but in five years , " that

8:30means never . She's not planning one

8:32with you at all . So , if you're

8:34considering a relationship with a woman

8:36with a child , you should definitely

8:38find out why her relationship didn't

8:40work out before you . After all , you're

8:43likely not the first person she's tried

8:45to get to know since the divorce . Of

8:48course , no one will tell you the

8:50absolute truth , but it would be very

8:52interesting to hear her version of

8:54events . They were childish , greedy , and

8:57they didn't accept the child . Based on

8:59this information , you can already draw

9:01certain conclusions . Perhaps she was

9:03too pushy . Perhaps she was trying to

9:05turn a man into an ATM . Perhaps her

9:07child doesn't accept strangers . You

9:10need to get to the root of the problem .

9:13Because if you don't , nothing will work

9:15out with her either . You'll simply

9:17follow the same scenario . So if you're

9:20sitting there now , wondering whether or

9:23not to start a relationship with a

9:25woman with a child , ask yourself : why

9:28are you even considering this

9:30particular woman ? You need to have a

9:34solid , logical argument . If your answer

9:38boils down to " I like her , " then that's

9:39, not an answer . The truth is

9:42that in 90 % of cases , it's not the man

9:44who chooses the woman with the child ;

9:46it's the woman who chooses him . Men are

9:49simply in short supply ; they don't have

9:51any good options . And then , at work , or

9:55on a dating site , he meets a pretty ,

9:59proactive woman who makes advances .

10:03It's so unusual . The man simply falls

10:06for her demo mode and availability . He

10:10just goes with the flow . At first , he's

10:14just texting the woman . Well , the child

10:16isn't mentioned in the text . Then they

10:19go to a cafe . The child isn't there

10:21either , by the way . The child isn't at

10:22the hotel either . He stole her bra .

10:25Still no child . And then what do they

10:28do ? They move in together . And the man

10:30is suddenly shocked . It turns out the

10:33child will be around all the time now .

10:35And yes , the child can get sick , be

10:37capricious , demand attention , or even

10:40be jealous of the mother . It turns out

10:42that a relationship requires full

10:44contact with the child , its cries ,

10:46illnesses , and upbringing . After which

10:49the man starts to freak out , even

10:51though everything was obvious from the

10:52very first day . I think you need to

10:54think about this in advance , but this

10:56isn't the kind of situation where

10:58problems can be solved as they arise .

11:00Let's do a simple test . A man meets a

11:03woman with a child , falls in love , and

11:05everything is great . But if you ask him

11:07in the first six months of their

11:09relationship , like , " Listen , would you

11:10have liked to have met her earlier ? "

11:12Well , so that she wouldn't have had

11:14children , so that the first child would

11:16be yours together ? Almost any man will

11:19say , " Of course . " Well , that's the

11:21harsh , unpleasant truth . There are no

11:26men or women who sit there and burn

11:27with the desire to raise other people's

11:29children . And if a man subscribes to

11:33this story , there are four possible

11:34reasons why he's doing it . Option one :

11:37he's simply too lazy to look for a

11:38woman . Option two : he wouldn't have

11:41been able to pursue a woman of his

11:42caliber if she hadn't had children . She

11:45simply wouldn't have chosen him . Option

11:47three : the man's gone crazy . Hormones

11:50are going crazy . And the fourth , most

11:52rare scenario . The woman is truly

11:55worthy and kind , and the man feels

11:57compassion for her . He sincerely wants

12:01to help her , and he begins to treat her

12:03children like his own . Well , not right

12:05away , gradually . It happens . But let's

12:08be realistic about such relationships ,

12:10such women , they are rare . Therefore ,

12:11this is the most unpopular scenario of

12:13all possible . I will probably surprise

12:16many now , but there is one huge plus in

12:18a relationship between a woman and a

12:20child . Look , when you choose a

12:23twenty-five-year-old girl with no

12:24experience of family life , it's just

12:26random . She's had three boyfriends .

12:29Well , at least she says she's had three

12:30. She went to the movies with them . You

12:32have no idea how she will behave in

12:35everyday life ? Will she have postpartum

12:37depression ? Will she become a dependent

12:39on you , will she become hysterical . But

12:41if you're choosing a woman with a child

12:44, you can learn from deep within ,

12:48understand how she copes with stress ,

12:49how she behaves after giving birth ,

12:51whether she neglected her husband , how

12:53often they argued , whether she's the

12:54first to make peace . You can understand

12:58her past family life down to the

13:00smallest nuances and details and figure

13:02out what kind of wife she'll be . You

13:05can predict , well , 98 % , what kind of

13:08relationship you'll have with her . With

13:10a childless woman , there's no

13:12predictability . There's only hypothesis

13:15. And in my practice , I've seen many

13:18cases where , unfortunately , more or

13:20less , well , normal women couldn't cope

13:22with motherhood and broke down . There

13:25were even cases where they went crazy .

13:27And not because the husband didn't help

13:28. He did , and it didn't work . It didn't

13:30help anyway . After giving birth , she

13:32was a completely different person . So ,

13:34if we were to ask a man in this

13:36difficult situation , " What would you

13:37choose ? A woman with a child , well , not

13:40yours , but she's behaving perfectly ? "

13:42Or consider his current situation : your

13:44child , a woman , but she's already being

13:46examined by a psychiatrist , well , just

13:47based on my feelings . I think the

13:49choice would be obvious to him . No ,

13:51he'll stay where he is because his

13:52child is close to him . But still , if he

13:54had a choice , if we could turn back

13:55time , who knows what he'd do ? My

13:57position on relationships between a

13:58woman and her children is this : If the

14:00choice is between a suitable , adequate

14:02woman with a child and a problematic ,

14:04toxic woman without children , the first

14:06option is 1,000 times better . But if

14:09you're under thirty , then you probably

14:11shouldn't even think about it yet . Why

14:13do men choose women with children for

14:15relationships ? Many are surprised by

14:18this . They don't understand the

14:19reasoning behind it . And I'll tell you

14:21the mechanics now . There's a

14:23hypothetical Oleg . And this Oleg , his

14:26whole life he could only count on women

14:28who were rated 6 out of 10. Well , in

14:30terms of visuals . And then suddenly he

14:34meets a woman who's a 7 , and she's

14:36ready to be with him . Well , it's no

14:39secret that a woman with a child lowers

14:41her standards a bit after a divorce .

14:44He's never had a woman like that . And

14:48he starts to suffer , like , damn , come

14:50on , a child , I don't know , well , she's

14:52a good girl . But what should I do ? If

14:54we'd asked this man a month ago : "

14:56Listen , are you ready to consider a

14:59woman with children or not ? " If he was

15:01ready , then under what circumstances ?

15:02He would have said : " No , no , bro , no , I

15:04don't want to , I won't . " But a month

15:06has passed , he looks at her , at her

15:08figure , at her smile , at her face . He's

15:11like : " I want to so much , but I don't

15:12know how to get it . " What happens next ?

15:15There are only two options . Only two .

15:17If a man is cynical and stupid , he'll

15:20just , oh , sleep with her and find some

15:23excuse to disappear . If a man is naive

15:27and good-natured , he'll become attached

15:29not only to the woman , but he's never

15:31had such a woman in his arms , ever . The

15:34significance is very high ; he'll also

15:36become attached to the child . And then ,

15:39if the woman's behavior suddenly starts

15:41to deteriorate , he won't be able to do

15:43anything about it . All he can do is

15:45endure . I'll repeat it again . Whatever

15:49woman you choose , including one with a

15:51child , you should have a long list of

15:53reasons for choosing her . But don't you

15:56think it's strange that when we make

15:58any decisions in life — what school to

16:00send our child to , what vacuum cleaner

16:02to buy , what car to buy — we can study

16:05the issue in detail , weighing the

16:06options . You're like , " Uh-huh , yeah ,

16:09all the pros and cons . " Sometimes you

16:11spend months making decisions , and when

16:14we need to figure out how our personal

16:17life will turn out , he's like , " Ah ,

16:20here we go . Why ? Who knows . Don't you

16:23think it's weird ? " But maybe we need to

16:25stop living like this ? And what do you

16:27need for that ? Practice . A four-hour

16:30lecture , the dad of online dating . Gain

16:33experience , finally become an expert . A

16:36link to my lecture , which you'll like ,

16:39is in the first comment .