Full transcript
0:00Hey Goofy.
0:02Goofy Goober, I'm talking to you.
0:05What's up, Goofy?
0:08Who? You. I'm talking to you.
0:11What's up? Goofy.
0:16What am I talking about right now?
0:18Well, what I'm talking about is
0:21why
0:22are you being all funny with me today?
0:25Hmm?
0:26I didn't know you were a joker.
0:30Oh, how are you being funny?
0:33Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. All
0:35right.
0:36So, you're telling me that you really
0:39don't know
0:40how you're being funny.
0:45Hmm, you really don't know. You're
0:47confused.
0:50Okay.
0:51All right. Let me break it down for you
0:53then.
0:55So,
0:56you've been going all all Hollywood on
0:59me today.
1:01Mhm. Yes, Hollywood. Miss Hollywood in
1:05the building. Yes, Hollywood. You forgot
1:08where you came from.
1:10Acting all brand new like it's
1:12Spider-Man brand new day.
1:14I don't know what's going on with you.
1:19Oh, you think you're not acting brand
1:20new? Really? Okay.
1:23Then tell me this, right? Tell me this.
1:25>> [snorts]
1:26>> I'm trying to call you.
1:28No answer.
1:30I'm trying to text you.
1:31Left on red.
1:33And I hate being left on red. Ugh.
1:36And it doesn't even make sense whenever
1:38you leave me on red cuz you're on your
1:39phone all the time.
1:41Next,
1:43I'm sending you memes,
1:45TikToks, reels, funny stuff.
1:49Not even a reaction.
1:52Not even a little laugh emoji. Nothing.
1:55Well, actually no, I lied.
1:57Because you do react to my TikToks
2:00and my reels.
2:02But you are a mentirosa
2:04and a liar
2:07because
2:08I know what you did.
2:13Mhm, yeah. Yeah, I know. I know. I know.
2:15You do react to them, but
2:18you lied about it.
2:22How
2:23do you think I'm stupid? Hm?
2:26Do you think I'm stupid?
2:29I know.
2:30Cuz
2:31I sent TikToks like literally
2:34um like [clears throat] for example,
2:36this
2:37for the one like literally what 10
2:39minutes ago
2:40I sent you one
2:42and not even 10 seconds have passed.
2:46But
2:47you already liked
2:49the freaking video.
2:51So I know you didn't watch it because
2:53that video was at least 1 minute long.
2:58You tricked and you lied. You liar.
3:05I can't believe you you would do this to
3:07me. I thought we were friends. I thought
3:08we were cool.
3:10But I guess not.
3:12I guess you're going all Hollywood on
3:13me.
3:15You're a goofy goober now.
3:20Busy, you've been busy?
3:22Uh.
3:24Busy, okay.
3:25Okay, so
3:27you know what? Let's just say that
3:29you're busy, right? Forget about
3:30responding. Yeah, you're busy. Whatever.
3:33And forget about picking up the phone.
3:36Cuz you're not even looking at the
3:37TikToks I sent you fully.
3:39Not one.
3:41Not a single one.
3:43You skipped all of them.
3:47But
3:49the fact is you can't be too busy
3:53when you literally don't do
3:56anything.
3:57Like nothing.
3:59You had no plans today.
4:01You stayed at home all day.
4:04You ain't got a job.
4:06You ain't making money.
4:07Um
4:09you ain't got no friends to talk to.
4:12I mean, you probably do, but
4:14usually you go out and do that, but you
4:17ain't doing it now. So,
4:19I know that you can't be too busy
4:21when you literally don't do anything.
4:28>> [sighs and gasps]
4:29>> Okay. Serious So, you're saying I'm
4:31wrong.
4:32Yeah, okay.
4:33You're busy. Sure. Okay, you're busy.
4:36And busy doing what?
4:43Stuff. You're busy doing stuff.
4:46Okay. Okay. What kind of lame ass
4:49excuses that, bro?
4:51Stuff. You're doing stuff. Okay.
4:53What kind of stuff? Hm?
4:59Just stuff? Yeah, okay. Yeah, right.
5:02You ain't doing nothing. You ain't You
5:04ain't doing [ __ ] okay? [laughter]
5:06I don't know why you lying, trying to
5:08act like you're busy. You ain't got
5:09nothing going on, okay?
5:11Cuz last time I checked,
5:13you're always on that damn phone.
5:17Like always.
5:18Always.
5:1924/7.
5:21That's why your screen time be so damn
5:23high. Literally, it's like I never met a
5:25person, never in my life, never ever
5:28have I met a person with a higher screen
5:31time than you do.
5:37Oh, okay. Now Now Now I'm being
5:40dramatic. Now I'm being dramatica.
5:43Because your screen time isn't high.
5:45It's not. Really? Is it not? It's not
5:47high. Okay. Sure, buddy. Sure. See, this
5:50is why I call you a goofy goober.
5:52Because
5:54if you didn't know, but let me remind
5:56you again, okay? Let me remind you
5:57again.
5:59You got a 40-hour screen time in 1 week.
6:05Uh-uh, da-da-da, don't even try to lie.
6:07Don't even try to lie. Just shh.
6:10You got a 40-hour hour screen time.
6:144 0 40.
6:19It's 40 hours.
6:24Oh. You're going You're going to say I'm
6:26lying again? Okay, here. You want to see
6:28that? You you you Ma- Matter of fact,
6:30here. Pull out your phone. Let's see it
6:32right now. Prove me wrong.
6:38Yeah? Mhm, right now. Prove me wrong.
6:40Let's see if you're right.
6:42And then you can tell me I'm wrong all
6:44day long.
6:47Psh, don't lie and say that you you
6:49don't know how to do it. Just go to your
6:51settings, type in screen time.
6:54Mhm, yeah, go ahead and do it right now.
6:55Do it. Go ahead.
6:58Yeah, you're almost there. Good. Good.
7:01And then
7:03press it.
7:04And then tell me what it says.
7:10It says 1 hour? Yeah, okay. Nice try,
7:13goofy. Show me the screen.
7:17Huh!
7:18Now would you look at
7:21>> [clears throat]
7:21>> that.
7:24I was wrong.
7:25It wasn't 40 hours.
7:27It's 45.
7:28It's even worse.
7:33>> [sighs and gasps]
7:38>> Hey, you don't got to be mad at me. I'm
7:40just saying like that's what the data
7:42says. You be on that phone 45 hours in
7:45one week.
7:47And the week didn't even finish yet.
7:49It's only Thursday.
7:50So.
7:52I'm just saying.
7:53That's what the numbers say. I don't
7:54make the rules. I'm just telling you how
7:56it is.
8:02Now you're finally asking me what I'm
8:04doing.
8:05So yes, I do have something better to
8:07do. But
8:10I wanted to hang out with you.
8:12That's why I'm here.
8:14But jeez, man, you acting all brand new
8:16today like you don't even know me.
8:18Like you don't even want to hang out
8:21[clears throat] or nothing.
8:22Treating me like a fan.
8:24I don't know what's going on. Like damn.
8:26Okay. Spider-Man brand new day. Forget
8:29about it then.
8:30I just
8:32Man, I just wanted to spend some time
8:34with you.
8:35That's all I wanted. Just to spend some
8:37time. I wanted to chill. I wanted to
8:40hang out.
8:41Watch a movie. Something, you know.
8:45Spend some time together.
8:47>> [sighs]
8:49[gasps]
8:49>> Because it's um
8:52It's been a minute since we actually
8:54hung out for real. Like it has been for
8:56a while.
8:57We haven't seen each other since, you
8:59know, school started and things got
9:01busy.
9:05Again, here we go again with the I'm
9:07busy BS. Too busy for me, huh?
9:12That's so mean. Why are you so mean to
9:14me?
9:15Like genuinely mean. I'm hurt.
9:18All I wanted to do was was to hang out
9:20with you.
9:21That's it. Spend some time. Do something
9:23fun.
9:25We don't even got to go out. We can just
9:27kick back here at home. With us
9:29together.
9:30Watch a movie, chill on the couch, play
9:32a game.
9:33Play on the switch.
9:35Super Mario Kart, something.
9:37You know, like
9:39It's been I know and I know summer just
9:42ended, but we barely even saw each other
9:44this whole summer and we live together.
9:47So, that's what I'm saying, like
9:49I don't know. It's been a while since we
9:50hung out and that's all that I wanted to
9:52do.
9:53I just wanted to hang out, but you're
9:55over here being a bozo, being a big
9:58fat-headed meanie.
10:05I'm fine.
10:06Am I really, though? I'm pretty sad cuz
10:08I wanted to hang out.
10:11>> [sighs]
10:12>> Also,
10:13I think
10:14you're lying to me.
10:18Why?
10:19Because
10:21so, um
10:24Tell me if I'm wrong, which I'm probably
10:26not. I'm probably right, but
10:29earlier, you've been laying on the couch
10:31for the past, what? 4 hours on your
10:34phone.
10:38I did did did did I'm getting there. I'm
10:39getting there. I know you were there on
10:41the couch and I saw you, but
10:44I was busy working, so I couldn't
10:46really, you know, do anything.
10:49But, I knew you were there for 4 hours
10:50cuz that's how long I was locked in for.
10:56Hold on. Let me finish. Let me finish.
10:58Okay?
10:59And then after that, you went in your
11:00room, then I came out. Then I realized,
11:03damn.
11:05I finished working and then you went
11:06back to your room.
11:08And I know you It's like, what?
11:11Midday now or no, a little past midday.
11:14You always take a little afternoon nap.
11:17Cuz you be a tired girl. You be sleepy.
11:20You be a nappy girl. I know.
11:22So, then you went back to your room, you
11:24took a nap, apparently or
11:26you supposedly went to go take a nap.
11:31How do I know? I mean, I just told you.
11:33You nap like literally every afternoon
11:35if you could.
11:37And you're home today, so I knew you
11:38were going to do it.
11:40And also
11:41a big, really big sign that I know
11:43you're about to take a nap is
11:46you turn on your essential oils
11:48humidifier.
11:50And I know that, you know.
11:52Every time you turn it on
11:55it means you're about to knock out and
11:57take a nap.
12:00And I know you well enough to know
12:02because I pay attention.
12:04And you only turn it on whenever you're
12:06about to go to sleep.
12:08And also, I can hear it from my room, by
12:09the way. And I can smell it.
12:12Sometimes it smells good.
12:14Sometimes it smells freaking terrible.
12:17Like freaking terrible.
12:23What do you mean, how?
12:25I mean, I can hear the hum, you know,
12:29whenever it turns on.
12:31And then
12:33the smell, like
12:35what is it? The other day you used
12:37lavender. Smelled great.
12:39Smelled great.
12:41And then another time
12:43I don't even know why you did this, but
12:46you put like like some spices in there
12:48or something, like it smelled like
12:50lemon.
12:51And then you put in what, turmeric? It
12:54smelled ugh, like
12:58it smelled disgusting.
13:00Like
13:01if I could
13:03like put it into something
13:04it smelled like
13:06lemon rinds, lemon rinds.
13:09But after like it's been used up, then
13:12it smells bitter and nasty. That's what
13:15it smelled like.
13:21Oh, really? It's supposed to detoxify
13:23and cleanse?
13:25Yeah, all right, buddy. I don't believe
13:27It wasn't cleansing nothing. It's more
13:29like clogging clogging my nose killing
13:32my killing my sinuses cuz
13:36that smell is horrible.
13:38Absolutely horrible.
13:42Anyway.
13:43So
13:45after all that
13:47you still busy? You still want to go
13:49with that lie?
13:50Or do you want to fess up and tell the
13:52truth?
13:53Hm?
13:58Hm, now you admit it.
14:01See? Was that so hard?
14:04Was it so hard for you to just tell me
14:06the truth that you actually weren't
14:08busy?
14:13Okay, whatever.
14:16>> [sighs]
14:16>> I know I caught you. So tell me
14:19why are you avoiding me?
14:22Did I do something? Did I upset you?
14:30Okay. So you're just feeling like a bum
14:32today.
14:33That's it?
14:38Okay, just one of those days where you
14:40didn't want to talk to anybody.
14:42I get that. I feel that. Sometimes I do
14:45feel like that.
14:46But I mean, are you referring to like
14:49literally everybody?
14:51Everybody and that includes me
14:54even though we
14:56live together?
15:00Yeah?
15:02>> [sighs]
15:04>> Wow.
15:05Okay.
15:07Okay, well that's um that's honest. I
15:10respect it. I understand.
15:13But damn, still hurts.
15:16I got to accept it though.
15:20It's is personal.
15:22Yeah, okay. It's a little personal. Just
15:24a little bit.
15:27It's not, huh? Mhm.
15:29Yeah, okay, [clears throat] buddy. Okay.
15:35Now I'm getting sleepy and I want to
15:36take a nap.
15:38Okay, you know what?
15:40Forget it. How about this?
15:42You and me.
15:44You and I.
15:45Let's just be bums together then.
15:50Mhm. Yeah, you heard what I said.
15:53Let's just be bums together. I wanted to
15:55chill today anyway.
15:57I don't want to do anything either.
15:59So, that's why I'm giving you this
16:01option.
16:02That we can do together.
16:04Cuz I still do want to spend time with
16:05you.
16:06And we can do anything.
16:07We don't got to do anything crazy. So,
16:10let's just stay at home
16:12and let's just be bums together.
16:15What do you think?
16:19Yeah.
16:20Okay, good. So,
16:23can I come in or do I have to sit
16:25outside the door?
16:26Hm?
16:30Okay, perfect.
16:32Don't mind if I do.
16:39Hm.
16:40Something looks different in here.
16:44Your your um your bed.
16:46Did you do something different to your
16:48bed? It looks
16:50It looks bigger, like a lot bigger now.
16:52What happened?
16:56You added more plush stuff?
16:59What?
17:00Hold on.
17:01>> [snorts]
17:01>> What is this? Hold on. Now I got to lay
17:03down on this.
17:10Oh, wow. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on
17:13there.
17:14This is
17:15Mhm.
17:17This is incredible.
17:19No, like this is actually incredible.
17:21What what is this?
17:23What material is this? Like
17:25it's so soft
17:27but it's breathable
17:29and it's not too hot.
17:31It's actually really cold.
17:33Like actually pretty freaking cold.
17:35Like you don't even have to turn on the
17:36fan whenever you take a nap or go to
17:38sleep. It's It's pretty cold. Like wow.
17:41What is this? I'm amazed.
17:47You don't even know what it is. He just
17:48ordered it. Wow, that's funny. Okay.
17:51Well,
17:52whatever it is, it's working.
17:55This is
17:56This is so amazing. Like
17:58I could take a nap right here.
18:04So you were trying to take a nap. Okay.
18:08Okay.
18:09Great. Well,
18:11yeah, this is like literally perfect to
18:12take a nap.
18:14And now you get to do it with company.
18:17With me.
18:18You're welcome.
18:20Is it soft like like everywhere?
18:23Like it's soft everywhere?
18:26The pillow is, too? Okay, hold on. Let
18:29me Let me check that out.
18:34You're right. You're right. It is so
18:37soft. It is.
18:39>> [snorts]
18:40>> Okay, come. Come.
18:42Come. Come here. Come lay down with me.
18:45Come. Come lay down.
18:48No, you're laying down over there. Come
18:50over here.
18:51Scoot. Scoot your booty over here. Come
18:54over here. Lay right next to me.
18:59Okay, good.
19:01This is nice.
19:04>> [sighs]
19:04>> See? This is
19:06This is all I wanted to do today.
19:13Good.
19:14I told you it was nice.
19:15You had me in the hallway talking to a
19:17door.
19:19Whenever we could have just done this.
19:23Whatever. Embarrassing. Yeah, you can
19:25call me whatever you want. What?
19:28I wanted to do this with you.
19:30There's a difference.
19:33This is just
19:34This is just so cozy. You know what I
19:37mean? Like it's so freaking
19:40cozy.
19:42I could literally
19:45Oh man, I could take a nap right here.
19:48I really can.
19:52Hey.
19:52Hey.
19:54Wait, are you? Did you almost just fall
19:57asleep right now?
20:01Wow.
20:02You literally just laid down.
20:04How are you already about to go to
20:05sleep?
20:07>> [laughter]
20:08>> That's so funny.
20:11Yeah, but I bet it is comfy. I know.
20:16Okay, come here.
20:18No, just just come here.
20:21Can we um
20:22can we cuddle?
20:25Yeah. Okay.
20:28Come here.
20:34Wow, this is amazing.
20:36Soft bed, a cold bed. Both of our
20:40pillows are cold on both sides.
20:44We're cuddling.
20:47This is amazing.
20:53Yeah, I know. It is cozy.
20:56I'm glad you like being the little
20:57spoon.
21:00Yeah, I do.
21:01I do like being the big spoon.
21:07Yeah, it does feel nice to be cuddling
21:09each other.
21:10It feels amazing.
21:16It's okay. You don't have You don't have
21:17to apologize.
21:20But just don't leave me on read next
21:21time, okay? You were being very mean.
21:24I don't like it whenever, um,
21:26you leave me on read. It's not fun.
21:30I thought you were avoiding me or
21:31something.
21:37Okay, well, it's nice to know that you
21:39weren't avoiding me, but
21:42you were still being mean.
21:44Now, you got to make it up to me now.
21:51Well, what do I want?
21:53Well,
21:55this is what I want.
21:56And I'm going to take my time getting
21:58it.
22:04There.
22:05Now I got my payment back.
22:10>> [sighs]
22:11>> You know what? Never mind. I lied.
22:15I kind of want some more.
22:17So, come here and give me some more.
22:20Give me all of you.