Full transcript
0:00How do you make Obama's eyes light up?
0:01Shine a flashlight in his ears.
0:05>> That's pretty good.
0:06>> Love him or hate him, but there's one
0:08thing almost nobody disagrees on. Obama
0:11might be the funniest president in
0:12American history.
0:16>> You know, there's a Snapchat [music]
0:17filter that gives you a flower crown.
0:19>> Of course, I know that student.
0:21>> And here's 18 minutes of proof.
0:23>> I'm all right with the president wearing
0:25jeans. I'm not all right with the
0:28president wearing those [music] jeans.
0:32>> Can I just say something? I think that's
0:34mean and I don't think there's anything
0:35wrong with the jeans you wear.
0:39>> Jimmy, I think they've got a point.
0:42>> For years, people questioned whether
0:44Obama was even born in America. Rather
0:46than getting defensive about it, he
0:48turned the whole thing into a hilarious
0:50joke at a presidential dinner. Tonight,
0:52for the first time, I am releasing my
0:55official birth video.
1:01[music]
1:06>> I want to make clear to the Fox News
1:09table that was a joke.
1:13>> But he didn't stop there. He also made a
1:15hilarious video where he's trying to get
1:16his driver's license just like everyone
1:18else. And you can probably guess exactly
1:21where that goes.
1:29>> Finally. So, I'm going to be in DC for a
1:32while and I thought I'd take up driving
1:34again.
1:34>> What's the name?
1:35>> Barack Hussein Obama.
1:37>> Thanks.
1:39>> Well, since you don't have a driver's
1:40license, you're going to need a birth
1:42certificate.
1:43>> Really?
1:44>> Really?
1:47>> It's real. Is it?
1:50>> It's real.
1:51>> But is it?
1:52>> It all started after Donald Trump spent
1:54weeks saying Obama wasn't born in the
1:56US. At a 2011 dinner, Trump was sitting
1:59right in the audience and Obama had
2:01prepared something specifically for him.
2:03What followed is one of the most talked
2:04about moments in the history of
2:06political comedy.
2:07>> Donald Trump
2:09is here tonight. [applause and cheering]
2:12Now, I know that he's taken some flak
2:15lately,
2:16>> but no one is happier. No one is prouder
2:19to put this birth certificate matter to
2:22rest than the Donald.
2:25And that's because he can finally get
2:27back to focusing on the issues that
2:29matter.
2:31Like did we fake the moon landing?
2:37What really happened in Roswell?
2:40And where are Biggie and Tupac? Say what
2:42you will about uh Mr. Trump. He
2:45certainly would bring some change to the
2:46White House.
2:50>> 5 years later at the 2016 dinner, Obama
2:53couldn't resist doing it again. By then,
2:55Trump was actually running for
2:57president.
2:58>> You know, I've got to talk about Trump.
3:00Although, I am a little hurt that he's
3:01not here tonight. We had so much fun the
3:03last time. And it is surprising. You got
3:06a room full of reporters, celebrities,
3:08cameras, and he says, "No."
3:11>> Is this dinner too tacky for the Donald?
3:16What could he possibly be doing instead?
3:18Is he at home eating a Trump steak,
3:22tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel?
3:25What's he doing?
3:26>> Obama even pointed out that Trump didn't
3:29really have much experience dealing with
3:30foreign leaders. Well, at least not in
3:32the traditional sense.
3:34>> The Republican establishment is
3:36incredulous. They say Donald lacks the
3:38foreign policy experience to be
3:40president. But in fairness, he has spent
3:42years meeting with leaders from around
3:45the world. Miss Sweden,
3:48Miss Argentina, [cheering] Miss
3:51Azeraijan.
3:53And there's one area where Donald's
3:54experience could be invaluable, and
3:56that's closing Guantanamo because Trump
3:59knows a thing or two about running
4:01waterfront properties into the ground.
4:05Obama was so confident back then about
4:08one specific thing regarding Trump's
4:10future. Well, we all know how that one
4:12aged. Uh,
4:13>> I'll leave it to you to speculate on how
4:15this whole race is going to go. I
4:17continue to believe Mr. Trump will not
4:19be president and the reason is because I
4:20have a lot of faith in the American
4:22people and I think they recognize that
4:24being president is a serious job.
4:26>> A few moments later.
4:28>> Well, I just had the opportunity to have
4:30an excellent conversation with
4:31President-elect Trump. Uh Obama built a
4:35reputation for staying cool and calm no
4:37matter what was thrown at him. That calm
4:39eventually inspired a whole comedy
4:41character, an anger translator who says
4:43what the president is really thinking.
4:46>> It's uh it's just that I was uh hoping
4:49that uh well that we could I want to
4:52make this clear. Have a
4:54>> Okay. Uh Luther, are you available to
4:57translate?
4:58>> Yes, ma'am.
5:00>> Was hoping we could spend some time
5:01together. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME WE HAD
5:04SEX, WOMAN? RE-ELECTION NIGHT. WHAT DOES
5:06A BROTHER NOT NAMED BILL CLINTON HAVE TO
5:08DO TO GET SOME IN this house? But then
5:10Obama took it to the next level. He
5:12actually invited Luther, the anger
5:14translator, to join him on stage at a
5:16real event to express what he was really
5:18feeling. What happened next was
5:20absolutely hilarious.
5:22>> I'm a mellow sort of guy, and that's why
5:24I invited Luther, my anger translator,
5:28to join me here tonight. Hold on TO YOUR
5:31LILY WHITE BUTTS.
5:35>> In our fastch changing world, traditions
5:37like the White House correspondents
5:39dinner are important.
5:40>> I mean, really,
5:42what is this dinner?
5:46AND WHY AM I REQUIRED TO COME TO IT?
5:50>> The non-stop focus on billionaire donors
5:52creates real problems for our democracy.
5:54>> AND THAT'S WHY WE RUNNING FOR A THIRD
5:56TERM.
5:56>> NO, NO, WE'RE NOT.
5:57>> Which we're not. WHO THE HELL SAID THAT?
6:00>> And then Obama starts talking about
6:02climate change. He gets more and more
6:04upset about it, which is exactly what
6:05the anger translator is there for. And
6:07what happens next between the two of
6:09them is absolutely [music]
6:10priceless.
6:12>> But we do need to stay focused on some
6:14big challenges like climate change.
6:16>> HEY, LISTEN Y'ALL. IF YOU HAVEN'T
6:17NOTICED, CALIFORNIA IS BONE DRY.
6:22IT LOOKED LIKE A TRAILER FOR THE NEW
6:23MATT MAX MOVIE UP IN THERE. Instead of
6:26doing anything about it, we've got
6:28elected officials throwing snowballs in
6:30the Senate.
6:30>> Okay, this Okay, I think I got it, bro.
6:32>> It is crazy.
6:34>> What about our kids? What kind of
6:36stupid, shortsighted, irresponsible boy?
6:40>> Oh, oh, wa. [screaming]
6:42Hey,
6:43>> what? Okay. No. Hey, all all due
6:45respect, sir. You don't need an anger
6:48translator.
6:50You need counselor.
6:52You know, I'm I'm I'm out of here, man.
6:54Quick pause before we keep going. I just
6:57started this channel and I post two new
6:59videos every week. If you're enjoying
7:01this, do me a quick favor and hit
7:02subscribe. It really means a lot.
7:05>> Which you like better, these
7:07or these?
7:09>> Joe, they're the same.
7:10>> They capture different moods.
7:13>> Obama and Joe Biden weren't just working
7:15together. They were genuinely close
7:17friends. But wait until you hear how he
7:20thanked Joe in his final speech.
7:22>> I love Joe Biden. I really do. I And I
7:25want to thank him for his friendship,
7:26for his counsel, for always giving it to
7:29me straight, for not shooting anybody in
7:32the face.
7:34[cheering]
7:36>> Thank you, Joe.
7:37>> He also showed the actual method they
7:39used to keep drones out, and it's not
7:41exactly what you'd expect.
7:43>> Back here in our nation's capital, we're
7:44always dealing with new challenges. I'm
7:46happy to report that the Secret Service,
7:49thanks to some excellent reporting by
7:50White House correspondents, they're
7:52really focusing on uh some of the issues
7:55that have come up. Some of you know a
7:56few months ago a drone crash landed out
7:59back. That was pretty serious. But don't
8:00worry, we've installed a new
8:02state-of-the-art security system.
8:07Obama carried a Blackberry long after
8:09the rest of the world moved on to
8:11smartphones. So, when he finally got
8:13upgraded to a proper presidential phone,
8:15you'd think that would be an
8:16improvement. Turns out a presidential
8:18phone isn't quite the same thing as the
8:21phone you or I carry around. And what he
8:23could actually do with it will surprise
8:25you.
8:25>> I was this cool high-tech guy when I got
8:27there, right?
8:28>> Yeah.
8:28>> And I was the first president to have a
8:29Blackberry. And so years pass [laughter]
8:32and this year they said, "Good news, Mr.
8:35President. We're going to give you a
8:36smartphone instead of a Blackberry." I
8:38thought, "All right, this is cool. I've
8:40been seeing Malia and Sasha doing all
8:41this. Michelle's got [music] three of
8:43them. She's texting and all this. So,
8:45I'm excited. I get the thing and they're
8:47all like, "Well, Mr. President, for
8:48security reasons, it is a great phone.
8:50State of the art, [music] but it doesn't
8:52take pictures. You can't text. The phone
8:54doesn't work. You know, you can't play
8:56your music on it." So, so basically,
8:58it's it's like Does your three-year-old
8:59have one of those play phones where it's
9:01like,
9:02>> you know, it's got like they gave the
9:04president.
9:04>> It's got it's got like the stickers on
9:06it.
9:07Public events don't always go smoothly
9:10and sometimes someone in the crowd
9:12decides to make themselves heard. How he
9:14handled that kind of interruption is
9:16something you really want to see.
9:17>> Who love this country just as much we
9:20do.
9:26>> I'm sorry. Who's who who that back
9:29there?
9:32What what the heck are you talking
9:33about?
9:35>> [applause and cheering]
9:35>> Obama and his wife Michelle always had a
9:38special connection. The funny way they
9:40tease each other in public shows what
9:42their marriage is really like. My
9:43brilliant and beautiful wife Michelle is
9:47here tonight. [applause and cheering]
9:50She looks so happy to be here. That's
9:52called practice.
9:54>> So when Ellen DeGeneres asked him
9:56straight out what the secret to a long
9:58marriage is, Obama gave an answer that
10:00was way more honest than anyone
10:02expected. What do you all what do you
10:04and Michelle disagree on?
10:06>> Well,
10:07>> like what do you fight about?
10:08>> You know, after uh about 15 years, I
10:10finally figured out that she's always
10:12right.
10:13>> So, [cheering]
10:16[applause] so then [music]
10:18surprisingly, we just stopped fighting.
10:20>> There's no more fighting.
10:22>> Obamacare is great and it's really
10:25working. Sign up now.
10:30>> No.
10:31>> No. On Conan O'Brien's show, Obama
10:34talked about family life at home. You'd
10:36think being president would earn you a
10:38little respect at the dinner table.
10:39Turns out it doesn't work that way at
10:41all. And what his daughters actually
10:43think of his day job is pretty humbling.
10:45>> I'll tell you a quick story. We have
10:46dinner together. My wife asks my two
10:48daughters, "Malia, [music]
10:49how was your day?" She'll say, "Tell us
10:51about it." Four-year-old Sasha, how was
10:53your day? They asked my wife, "How
10:55[music] was your day?" Then finally, my
10:56wife says, "Well, let's ask daddy how
10:58his day was." Mhm.
10:59>> And uh my fouryear-old will say,
11:02"Boring."
11:04[laughter] And uh and my wife will say,
11:07"Well, that's not nice." You know,
11:09actually, people come and and listen to
11:10[music] daddy speak and and the two of
11:12them fall out of their chairs. They
11:14think that's the that is the funniest
11:16thing. The notion that somebody would be
11:18interested in what their father has to
11:19say.
11:20>> Kids just don't care. Yeah. Yeah, they
11:22they
11:23>> ever been tempted to just jump up behind
11:24a podium in front of your kids to tell
11:26them, you know, go to your room,
11:29>> that great using the great Barack Obama
11:31voice,
11:31>> my fellow Obamas. [laughter]
11:34>> Every Thanksgiving, the president
11:36officially saves a turkey on live TV.
11:38Obama always brought his daughters
11:40along, but what he loved doing to
11:42embarrass them on live television is
11:44classic dad behavior.
11:46>> It is hard to believe that this is my
11:47seventh year of pardoning a turkey. Time
11:50flies. Even if turkeys don't.
11:54[laughter]
11:57>> That was good. That was good.
11:58>> I thought it was pretty good.
12:01>> I know.
12:03>> But one year, the girls suddenly had
12:05other plans right when the ceremony came
12:07around. How a good dad handles that
12:09situation is exactly what you'd hope
12:11for. embarrassing my daughters with a
12:14corny copia of dad jokes about turkeys.
12:19Malia and Sasha, by the way, are
12:20thankful that this is my final
12:22presidential turkey pardon. What I
12:24haven't told them yet is that we are
12:26going to do this every year from now on.
12:29[laughter]
12:30No cameras, just us every year.
12:34No way I'm cutting this habit cold
12:36turkey.
12:39When Steve Harvey sat down with him, it
12:41was really just two dads talking about
12:43raising daughters. What he said about
12:45how he protects his girls from going on
12:47dates is genuinely funny.
12:49>> Uh, two things. [music] One is Malia and
12:51Sasha are very sensible. So, I I trust
12:54them to make good good decisions. And
12:56the second thing is, uh, I've got men
12:59with guns following them around all the
13:00time.
13:02So, that that kind of makes me a little
13:04less nervous about could I use them? Can
13:07I what did I got to do? Get some of
13:09these.
13:10>> This is This is the main reason I ran
13:11for re-election.
13:13>> Cuz you know what's coming? I knew it
13:14was coming. I said
13:15>> Obama also once did an impression of his
13:17teenage daughters glued to their phones.
13:19And every parent will know exactly how
13:21accurate it is.
13:22>> As the father of two teenage daughters,
13:25I know the whole time you were just
13:27like, "And then he said,
13:31"Girl, I couldn't believe it.
13:39Dick Cheney once publicly criticized
13:41Obama, but his reply became an instant
13:43classic. A few weeks ago, Dick Cheney
13:46says he thinks I'm the worst president
13:49of his lifetime,
13:51which is interesting because I think
13:53Dick Cheney is the worst president of my
13:55lifetime.
13:58Matt Damon campaigned for Obama back
14:00then, but later he said he was
14:02disappointed with his performance. But
14:04Obama had a comeback for that, too.
14:06>> Just the other day, Matt Damon, I I love
14:09Matt Damon. Love the guy. Matt Damon
14:12said he was disappointed in my
14:14performance.
14:15Well, Matt, I just saw the adjustment
14:18bureau, so right back at you, buddy.
14:22>> Obama had a long history with CNN, and
14:24he used every chance he got to make his
14:26true feelings about them clear. Saturday
14:28Night Live, Sicily impersonates CNN
14:31anchor Brooke Baldwin, which is
14:33surprising because usually the only
14:35people impersonating journalists on CNN
14:37are journalists on CNN.
14:43>> At another dinner, he joked about
14:45reporters who used to cover him and how
14:46they'd all left him for new jobs. But
14:48the last name on that list gave him the
14:50chance to roast CNN one more time.
14:53>> Key staff are now starting to leave the
14:54White House. Even reporters have left
14:57me. Savannah Guthrie, she's left the
14:59White House press corps to host the
15:00Today Show. Nor O'Donnell left the
15:04briefing room to host CBS this morning.
15:08Jake Tapper left journalism to join CNN.
15:11[cheering]
15:15Comedian Larry David is famous for
15:17making any conversation awkward. He
15:19asked Obama a simple question about
15:21something that sounded totally normal.
15:23But this time, Obama turned the tables
15:25and Larry didn't see it coming.
15:27>> I do wish [music] we had more time in
15:29the Alps. A lot of stuff we could be
15:30doing. People go skiing, take some
15:32hikes.
15:33>> Really? You ski?
15:34>> Why would you assume I don't ski?
15:37>> Do you ski?
15:38>> Yeah.
15:39>> All right. So, you think you can ski and
15:41I might not be able to ski?
15:42>> Well, no.
15:44>> What would lead you to assume that I
15:46don't ski?
15:49>> Larry, is it because
15:50>> No. No.
15:51>> Is it because
15:52>> No. Oh no. Serene Bob.
15:56>> Is it because I'm from Hawaii?
15:58>> Obviously. Yes.
16:00>> Hawaiian ski, too. Larry.
16:01>> Hawaiian ski.
16:02>> Yeah.
16:02>> Ah, who knew?
16:03>> I knew.
16:04>> Oh.
16:04>> A voter walked past Obama one day while
16:07his girlfriend stood [music] right next
16:08to the president. What the guy jokingly
16:10said put Obama in a pretty awkward spot.
16:13And you won't believe how he handled it.
16:18You know,
16:20>> I really wasn't planning on
16:22>> I am sorry.
16:25>> Now, there there's an example of a
16:26brother. Just this embarrassing for no
16:28reason.
16:29>> Embarrassing.
16:30>> Just for no reason. What's up?
16:33>> You're going to kiss him.
16:35>> [laughter]
16:37>> Take care.
16:40>> Obama went on Zack Galifanakis's comedy
16:43show where the whole point is asking
16:45mean and absurdly awkward questions. But
16:47when Zach hit him with the most out of
16:49bounds one yet, you have to hear it.
16:51>> I have to know what is it like to be
16:53[music] the last black president.
16:54>> Seriously, what's it like for this to be
16:56the last time you ever talked to a
16:58president?
16:58>> It must kind of stink [music] though
16:59that you can't run, you know, three
17:01times, you No, actually I think it's a
17:03good idea. You know, if I ran a third
17:05time, it'd be sort of like doing a third
17:07Hangover movie. Didn't really work out
17:09very well, did it? Now, I have to say
17:10that I've seen this show before, and
17:12some of the episodes have probably been
17:13a little bit better than this.
17:15>> Obama's response said it all. And
17:17judging by the look on Zach's face and
17:18his reaction, he definitely felt that
17:21one.
17:21>> For example, the one [music] with
17:23Bradley Cooper, that was a great
17:25>> movie. I really love
17:26>> He kind of carried that movie, didn't
17:27he?
17:28>> Which which film are you seeing us? Uh
17:30th those Hangover movies. Uh basically
17:33[music] he carried them.
17:34>> Yeah, everybody loves Bradley. Good for
17:36him.
17:37>> Good-looking guy.
17:38>> Being like that in Hollywood, that's
17:39easy. Tall, handsome, be short, fat, and
17:42smell like Doritos and try to make it to
17:43Hollywood.
17:46>> So, how does an interview like this
17:47actually end? The final stunt they
17:50pulled right before the camera cut off
17:51was something nobody saw coming.
17:53>> I'm going to press this.
17:54>> Don't touch that, please.
18:00Thanks for the [music] interview and um
18:02thanks for letting me shoot my uh show
18:03here all these years.
18:05>> You've been shooting these shows here in
18:07the diplomatic room. Who gave you
18:09permission to do that?
18:11>> Bush.
18:12>> And with that, I just have two more
18:14words to say.
18:17Obama out.