Full transcript
0:12Darling.
0:15Sorry I was gone so long, sweetheart.
0:17Traffic was just
0:19Oh my gosh.
0:21Darling, honey, sweetie, where are you?
0:25Oh no, no, no, no, what happened?
0:28There's so much blood. Oh my gosh.
0:31Darling, there you are.
0:33>> [gasps]
0:33>> Oh gosh, I was so scared. I saw the
0:35blood on the floor and thought something
0:36terrible had happened. Oh my gosh,
0:38you're covered in blood. Did you cut
0:39your
0:41Is that a dead body?
0:45Darling, we both know I know what a
0:47corpse looks like, especially a fresh
0:50one.
0:53Is that the hunting knife I got you for
0:54our anniversary last month?
0:56I know it wasn't technically our
0:57relationship's anniversary, more so the
1:00anniversary of the day I first started
1:02stalking you, but still.
1:06Oh my gosh, did you kill them?
1:09Oh no, no, no, no, darling, please don't
1:11look so upset. I'm not angry or
1:13anything, I promise, just a bit
1:14confused.
1:18Here, let me hold you.
1:22Shh, it's okay. I don't mind getting
1:25bloody, you know that. Besides, I'm a
1:28pro at removing blood stains, remember?
1:33Just be careful with the knife. I don't
1:35want you cutting yourself on accident.
1:38That's it. Just take a nice deep breath.
1:42>> [sighs]
1:43>> And out.
1:47No, I promise I'm not upset with you.
1:50How could I ever be with my perfect,
1:53wonderful darling in my arms?
1:56There you go. I can feel you breathing a
1:59bit easier now.
2:01Do you feel a bit better?
2:03That's good. Can you tell me what
2:05happened?
2:08Well, yes. I can see that you killed
2:10them. You did a pretty good job of it,
2:12too. These stab wounds look really deep.
2:15Maybe a bit jagged, but that's fine for
2:17your first time. I mean, you should have
2:19seen how messy my first dozen
2:22You know what? Never mind.
2:26Me? What about me?
2:29Oh my gosh.
2:32You're right. This is our neighbor. The
2:34one who hit on me last week when we came
2:37back from the grocery store. They came
2:38over to say hi and started complimenting
2:40me with you right there.
2:42Oh, I was so angry. I mean, hello. You
2:45were standing right next to me, and I'm
2:47so plain. Why would they give me any
2:49attention to me when you so clearly
2:51deserve it all?
2:54Of course, if they had started hitting
2:56on you instead, then I would have taken
2:58care of them myself.
3:01I thought I had made it clear to them I
3:03wasn't interested. But you say they came
3:05to the door to ask me out? Ugh.
3:08Seriously? That's so creepy.
3:11Did they threaten you? Is that why you
3:13killed them?
3:14You should never feel bad for
3:15self-defense, darling, especially
3:17against someone like this.
3:19They didn't? But then why?
3:24You were jealous that they tried to ask
3:25me out and angry that they came looking
3:27for me after I rejected them the first
3:29time?
3:30>> [gasps]
3:31>> So, you invited them inside to talk and
3:34you killed them?
3:36Oh my gosh. Did you kill them in a
3:38jealous rage over me?
3:41Oh, darling.
3:44Of course, I'm kissing you. That's the
3:46most romantic thing anyone's ever done
3:48for me.
3:49Someone tried to ask me out, and so you
3:51ended their life for even trying. Oh, I
3:54love you so much.
3:56I want to hear everything. Absolutely
3:58every last detail. How did you lure them
4:01in? Did you kill them in the front hall?
4:02I mean, you must have. That's where I
4:04saw all that blood. Did they fight back?
4:06Oh, oh, we need to celebrate. Maybe we
4:08could go to that Chinese place you like
4:09or grab takeout and go on a picnic. Or
4:12we could stay in and I could cook your
4:13favorite meal and hand-feed it to you,
4:15of course.
4:16Oh, I just want to spoil and pamper you
4:18all night.
4:20Huh?
4:22Oh, that's true. We probably should take
4:25care of this body before it
4:27Uh, well, you know.
4:29Come on. You grab the arms, I'll grab
4:31the legs. I'll show you how to take care
4:32of the things for next time.
4:35It's really not as difficult as you
4:36think once you've got some practice in.
4:41See, I told you that knife would come in
4:43handy. I mean, I expected to be used on
4:46intruders or maybe cutting vegetables
4:47when we cook dinner, but this is way
4:50better.
4:52Oh, I love you so much, darling.