Full transcript
0:01hey
0:02sweetheart can I ask you for a
0:05favor it's kind of a special thing for
0:09me and uh it's something I've never
0:11asked you for
0:14before and I'm going to say right now
0:16that I think it might be difficult for
0:19you okay I don't think you're going to
0:21want to give it to
0:23me but I'm going to ask you for it if
0:26that's
0:27okay and you can say no
0:30of course
0:33always but I just have to
0:36ask if this is something you can do for
0:38me it's going to be very special for me
0:40okay something I'm going to remember and
0:42appreciate for a long
0:44time
0:46okay what I want tonight more than
0:50anything
0:51is if we can fast
0:56forward I want to fast forward through
0:58the part of the night
1:01where you pretend you're
1:05okay cuz no no no hey wait
1:09listen you know I live with you you know
1:13how much I love you you know I see you
1:16every single
1:17day I know how you talk I know how you
1:21move I know how you carry emotions in
1:24your
1:25body so there's no uncertainty for me
1:28here okay there's no no question I can
1:31just see it when you're not okay I can
1:34tell it's right on the
1:37surface and I know it's not always easy
1:40for
1:42you but we all need that right like you
1:47know how some people have dogs that are
1:49trained to anticipate when they're going
1:52to have a seizure and they they let them
1:54know and they help them get down on the
1:56floor and make sure that nothing bad
1:58happens
2:00that's me right now okay that's what I'm
2:01doing for
2:03you and I know that right now you want
2:06to fight me I do I know you want to tell
2:09me that you're okay and I know you
2:11genuinely feel okay like I I I know you
2:13do but I'm I'm looking at you and I can
2:16tell you you're not all right so wait
2:20wait baby hang on let me finish let me
2:22finish remember that I said that this
2:24would be hard and this would be
2:26something that's really special for me
2:28right what am I asking you to do is you
2:31don't even have to believe that I'm
2:33right okay you can just even think I'm
2:36wrong just humor me humor me and let's
2:39skip the part where we argue about
2:44this no hey sweetheart I
2:48know I know you've got stuff to do and
2:51and so do
2:52I but I think this is more important I
2:56truly do helping you deal with whatever
2:59is going on inside you is more important
3:02than work or dinner or errands or
3:05whatever else is going
3:07on it is for me too like I said and it's
3:11okay it's all right to let someone
3:13interrupt sometimes we all need an
3:16interruption okay let's let's take a
3:18slightly longer route okay why don't you
3:21tell me how you feel right
3:25now a little stressed but basically okay
3:30all right um well can I just make some
3:36observations okay thank you I can tell
3:39your patience with me is running very
3:40thin but we'll get to the bottom of this
3:44do you hear how tight your voice is
3:46right
3:48now and when I asked if I could make
3:51observations did you hear
3:53how but this
3:55politely pissed you sounded
4:00okay and will you just just hang on look
4:03let me put my hands on your shoulders
4:05all
4:06right you feel how tight these shoulders
4:09are you feel that they're just I your
4:11shoulders are up by your ears right now
4:12baby look okay well yeah now you're
4:15letting them down and that's good it
4:18feels better doesn't it a little
4:20bit you're holding so much tension in
4:23your body right now that's not
4:26normal and that's what you're like when
4:29you're right at the breaking point
4:32okay so listen okay all right baby I'm
4:35I'm not going to do this anymore I asked
4:37if we could fast forward I get that you
4:39don't want to I'm going to take us there
4:42right
4:43now no no no wait wait wait wait listen
4:46we tried it your way we talked about it
4:48and that's fine now we're going to try
4:50it my way you've told me in the past I
4:54mean usually it's afterwards when your
4:57emotions have come down and your body is
4:59re said you've told me that sometimes
5:04you know I need to take over you've told
5:07me that and you said you want that you
5:09said you want me to give you those
5:11interruptions even when you feel
5:14fine you told me not to listen to you
5:17when you fought with me remember
5:19that and we even yes we even have a safe
5:22word right
5:24so that's what's happening now okay
5:29please just lie
5:31down lie down on the couch that's
5:35it that's it hey
5:39baby my sweetest dearest
5:44darling listen to me
5:46again I wasn't
5:49asking lie down on the
5:53couch there you
5:57go okay now listen
6:00we're going to take this in stages give
6:02your mind time to shift gears a little
6:03bit okay first I'm just going to put my
6:06hand right here on your
6:09chest just put there you go put your
6:12hands on
6:15mine you look frantic right now you your
6:19eyes are bugging out of your head Just
6:20Close Your Eyes here I'm going to put my
6:22other hand over your eyes there you go
6:26so eyes closed put your other hand on my
6:29hand on your ch
6:30chest I'm just going to press down
6:32gently
6:34okay this is just a little taste of
6:36what's to come letting you relax into
6:39it you feel that feel that
6:44weight that is good for you and there's
6:46about to be a lot more of
6:48it how does that make you
6:52feel you don't
6:54know well fair enough but I can tell you
6:58that I'm already you feeling your heart
7:00slow down I can feel it in my hand your
7:02heart's beinging
7:03slower so now we're just going to do a
7:05little body scanning
7:08okay are you still letting the tension
7:10out of your
7:12shoulders yeah you're not feeling it
7:14there so much anymore okay good
7:18great how about in your
7:23jaw yeah we try to just let that all
7:27hang loose just let your mouth hang open
7:29it's fine
7:30fine just feel that tension draining out
7:32of your
7:35Jael okay how about in your stomach like
7:38in your lower abs and you hold tension
7:41there
7:42too let that
7:46out baby are you doing it are you
7:50listening do
7:52it deep breath in and then just let it
7:55out you have to
8:00you know your heart rate is already half
8:03of what it was before and your breathing
8:05slowed
8:07down and the tension is let's say making
8:11its way out of those places where you
8:14hold it good that's
8:17good so you ready for the full
8:21treatment it's time for Squish therapy
8:24you
8:27goof wait what
8:30oh you're all fixed now everything's
8:33just completely
8:35better oh you're welcome yeah that's it
8:39you just want to get up
8:40now no hang on hang on I'm keeping my
8:43hand over your eyes what are you saying
8:45you're saying you're
8:47done you're back to normal just with
8:50that little one minute treatment is that
8:52right you don't need anything
8:56else
8:58darling are you you just trying to get
9:01away from some help that you know you
9:05need no no that's not it look I don't
9:09care I'm coming I'm coming down here we
9:11go no no no no you stay right there I'm
9:15just going to put all my weight on you
9:19there we go there just lie completely on
9:23top of
9:26you I can feel the air just being pushed
9:29out of your lungs
9:32yeah I am just going to stay here I stay
9:35right on top of you and just squish you
9:38down into the
9:43couch come on wet baby come on stop no
9:48your little protests are sounding more
9:50half-hearted by the
9:53second no I'm not going anywhere neither
9:56are you I'm staying right here staying
9:58right here on top of you until your
10:01whole body chemistry changes I would say
10:03now we're not even 10% of the way
10:07there you are not going to do anything
10:11but lie here and let your husband's big
10:16strong heavy body push you down into the
10:20couch that's all you get to
10:23do what for how
10:27long baby
10:30H how long do you
10:33think until I say so that's right and
10:37hey for extra credit when am I going to
10:40say
10:43so when you're all better yeah sure I
10:46also would have accepted when I feel
10:48like it but that's basically the same
10:51thing
10:53yeah so I want you to try to breathe
10:56deep taking a deep breath m
11:00mhm now let it out and all of my weight
11:04there you go all my weights just going
11:05to squeeze those
11:07lungs yeah I don't even have to do
11:10anything I'm going to lie here and let
11:12gravity do the
11:14work you are going to get squished into
11:18the tiniest little flattest little
11:23puddle
11:26and what's that
11:29yeah I know it gives you a Head
11:31Rush and that's good for you it's
11:33oxygenating your brain it's opening up
11:36all those blood
11:38vessels I mean I'm not a doctor but this
11:41is what I assume is
11:43happening
11:44so I also want to draw your attention to
11:47how deeply down into the couch you're
11:49sinking you're just getting pushed down
11:52into it aren't
11:54you when I get up or I should say if I
11:58get up whenever I see fit for that to
12:01happen I feel like I'm going to have to
12:03pry you up out of the couch and there's
12:05going to be a imprint where your body
12:07can
12:12Nestle oh you know squish therapy just
12:16to be totally honest with
12:18you it's for me as much as it is for
12:22you the feeling of your sweet little
12:24body underneath mine slowly getting back
12:28in touch with
12:30relaxation and
12:32pleasure and deep
12:35breathing that feeling for me oh that's
12:39like Chef kiss I live for that live for
12:43feeling you get back to where you're
12:44supposed to
12:45be you know it's not just about you I
12:49want to make you feel better and I'm
12:50going to make you feel better and I know
12:53that you already feel so much better
12:55even if you want admit
12:57it but it's also about making me feel
13:01better I mean after all I get to watch
13:03you to look at you and you know how much
13:07joy it brings me to see
13:11you feeling the way you're supposed
13:14to getting in touch with yourself
13:17again I'll watch you and see you feel
13:21good see you feel good when you drink a
13:23sip of coffee
13:26or sit in your little cozy chair
13:29by the window in the
13:32sunlight or when I see you step out of
13:35the shower and you're all clean and
13:37fresh you're toweling
13:41off well yeah that makes me feel good in
13:46all kinds of ways to see
13:48that as you well know as you well know
13:54baby oh what do I mean oh you don't
13:58understand you sure you sure you don't
14:00know at all what I
14:03mean it's funny it is so funny baby what
14:08you understand and what you
14:10don't it's like sometimes you're psychic
14:13you know what I'm going to say before I
14:14say it and you cut me off sometimes when
14:17we're arguing you know everything you
14:21know everything I'm going to say and you
14:23know why I'm wrong and you're already
14:25two steps ahead of me and hey I'll be
14:28honest sometimes you're right sometimes
14:31you're way ahead of me cuz you're very
14:34smart you're very
14:37clever but then sometimes you just don't
14:39know what I mean you don't know what I
14:42mean when I say that I I see you in your
14:46little
14:47towel and I feel good feel really
14:52happy you just don't know what that
14:54means to
14:56you okay okay what what do you you mean
15:00what what am I embarrassing
15:04you oh this is part of Squish therapy
15:07too I get to lie on you and tell you how
15:10beautiful you
15:11are and tell you how
15:15much let's call it pleasure I get out of
15:20looking at you when you're right in
15:22front of
15:23me and thinking about you when you're
15:27not cuz you know sometimes
15:31I'm I'm at work or you're at work or
15:35you're out doing whatever and I just
15:37start thinking about you and
15:40well let's just say it fully occupies my
15:44mind thinking about you
15:48you you know sometimes when I'm thinking
15:51about you I think about this I think
15:53about how much I like getting to lie on
15:56top of you and squeeze you into a tiny
16:00little
16:01pancake little little puddle of pancake
16:06batter just a
16:08little tiny thing underneath me getting
16:11squished into the couch getting all the
16:14air squeezed out of your lungs getting
16:16that blood rush up in your head I think
16:19about that
16:22and
16:24um you know what's silly can I just make
16:27a confession to you
16:29is so
16:30silly sometimes when I think about that
16:34I envy myself I envy my past self cuz I
16:40think oh he got to lie on top of you and
16:43he got to do anything he wanted with
16:46you what a what a lucky
16:50dog and sometimes I remember the things
16:52that I did things that I didn't do and I
16:56think about what I could have done or
16:58what I should should have
17:00done but anyway I'm making this too much
17:03about me how do you feel baby how do you
17:05feel right
17:07now
17:11better you know you said you felt better
17:13before would you say you
17:16feel even better
17:20now listen to you maybe yes I'm going to
17:25take that as a yes I'm going to tell you
17:28that you do you do feel even better now
17:31than you did
17:32before and I'm not even going to make
17:34you admit that when you said you felt
17:36better before you hardly felt any
17:39different you were just trying to get
17:40away from
17:42me doesn't matter now cuz you didn't get
17:45away from me and you're not going to get
17:47away from
17:48me
17:50ever I am going to lie on top of you and
17:54just squeeze
17:57you oh and I'm going to enjoy every
18:00second of
18:03it in fact I might need to just grab the
18:07sofa and squeeze down extra tight like
18:13that because I know that sometimes just
18:16take something extra you know a little
18:19extra something little extra
18:21squeeze squeeze all that tension and
18:24anxiety out of
18:26you no it's not better
18:29baby yes there we
18:32go there's my sweet little thing being
18:37more honest with me now than you were 10
18:39minutes
18:40ago and how about that how about that
18:43that's all it took 10
18:45minutes 10 minutes to turn you from a
18:49tense anxious stressed little animal
18:54into a well I don't think we're all the
18:57way there yet but
18:59I'm going to
19:01say
19:02happy I'm going to say
19:05relaxed
19:08gentle patient little
19:11kitten you are patient for me aren't you
19:16kitten yes you
19:18are you let me cuddle you and squish you
19:21and squeeze you for as much time as I
19:24need don't
19:25you yes good answer your answers are
19:29getting better and better
19:31baby now let me give you a harder
19:34question why do you do
19:37that why are you so patient with me why
19:40do you let me do what I want to do
19:43instead of doing what you want to do
19:47why oh
19:51sweetheart thank you for saying
19:53that I do think I know what's best for
19:57you maybe not all the times I'm not
19:59saying I'm
20:01perfect but right now right
20:04here I mean I I was right this is a
20:09layup
20:11like you needed this and there was no
20:15way in hell I was going to let you get
20:17away without accepting
20:20it and while I love it when you're all
20:25sweet and gentle and compliant for me
20:28while I really really enjoy that I will
20:31tell you that I
20:34understand that if I want to get the
20:36kitten I got to go through the cat I
20:39know that and you are a fierce little
20:42cat sometimes aren't
20:43you Fierce Little Alley Cat sharp claws
20:48sharp teeth you ever triy to help an
20:50alley cat that didn't want to get
20:52helped yeah you're not going to walk
20:54away unscathed but hey all a day's work
20:59for your husband that's what I'm here
21:01for I don't mind if you slash me up a
21:04little bit I am going to find my little
21:08kitten in there every single
21:11time you like that you like that one I
21:14call you
21:15kitten good well that makes sense I
21:18mean swear I could feel you
21:22purring what
21:26what you want my aren't
21:29you why don't you say that why don't you
21:32say it back to
21:33me I want you to whisper it in my
21:37ear tell me you're my
21:41kitten oh that makes me
21:45happy well if you feeling fully squished
21:51out if you're feeling better maybe you
21:55even want a little more air than you're
21:56getting right now with my full weight on
21:59you I do have one request one more
22:04request and baby like I said before this
22:08would make me so so
22:11happy you want to know
22:15okay can we please fast forward
22:21again I just want to fast forward like
22:25an
22:26hour to the part of the evening
22:29where
22:31you have really really focused in on
22:36making me
22:37happy and doing everything I
22:41want and you look at me with those those
22:47big beautiful eyes you look right at me
22:50and you
22:51say
22:54please and I say please what get
23:00and you say come on please and I say
23:02please
23:05what and you look at me and with not
23:09even a shred of resistance left you say