How to Organize Your Thoughts When Speaking English (Stop Rambling)

0:00When someone asks what you think in an English conversation,

0:04where do you start? A lot of my students, when they first begin working with me,

0:09they tell me that it's just chaos in my mind. I have so many ideas,

0:14so many details. I don't know where to start, what to say first,

0:18or how much to say. And the truth is,

0:21when you try to say it all, it's easy to get lost.

0:25When there's no clear way to organize all those thoughts,

0:30speaking gets much more difficult. And quite often,

0:34that internal chaos can lead to rambling.

0:38Rambling is speaking without a clear direction.

0:41There are too many details, no clear point,

0:45or several ideas all mixed together.

0:48I want you to think about that for a moment. When someone rambles,

0:52the listener has to work harder to understand what really matters.

0:56The main idea, solution,

0:58or opinion can get lost in everything else that's being said.

1:03And when the main point isn't clear,

1:06it's harder for the other person to know how to respond,

1:10which is so frustrating when you know that you have something meaningful to say.

1:15Now, of course,

1:16if you search online for how to organize your thoughts when speaking,

1:20you'll find plenty of fantastic frameworks for organizing a complete

1:25answer, and those can be useful.

1:27But what if the problem happens before that?

1:31What if the hard part is deciding which idea to start with,

1:36which details belong to that idea,

1:39and what can wait for later in the conversation or for

1:44another time? That's what we're going to work on in this lesson.

1:47I want to help you organize your thoughts when speaking English right from the

1:52start so that your main point is clear and you avoid rambling.

1:57So the first step in organizing your thoughts is to decide what to do.

2:02Not what you want to say, but what you want to do. Here's what I mean.

2:07Let's say you're listening to someone speak and several thoughts come

2:12to your mind while you're listening.

2:14Maybe you agree with part of what they've said,

2:17and you have another idea to add. There's also something you disagree with,

2:22plus you have a question. You could respond in several different ways.

2:27So before you start trying to organize all those thoughts,

2:32it's important to decide what do I want to do first?

2:36What matters most right now?

2:39Trying to do all of that makes rambling far more likely.

2:43So instead, decide on the one most important thing.

2:48For example, do I want to add an idea right now?

2:52Do I wanna disagree?

2:54Do I wanna ask a question to clarify or do I wanna go back to something that was

2:58said.

2:59Earlier? For example,

3:00you may decide that adding a point on to what someone else has said is the

3:05most important thing. You wanna support that idea.

3:08So now you know which thought to focus on first.

3:12You need to focus on the point you want to add. And then you could begin with,

3:16"One thing I'd like to add is..." Or maybe you decide that your

3:21question is the most important and that becomes your focus.

3:26And then you can begin, "I'd like to ask one question," or,

3:30"One question I have is..." Again,

3:33this first step isn't about organizing the complete answer.

3:38It's about choosing which of the thoughts in your mind you want to respond with

3:43first, what is most important right now in the conversation. Now,

3:48there's another layer to all of this that becomes especially important in

3:52English conversations.

3:54The truth is different languages and cultures don't always organize

3:59information or ideas in the same way.

4:02So sometimes the challenge isn't simply knowing what you want to do

4:07or say,

4:08it's also knowing how ideas and opinions are often expected

4:14to be organized in English.

4:16This is something we focus on deeply inside my fluency school program.

4:21In fluency school,

4:22you learn a simple structure for organizing your ideas

4:27along with the phrases that help to guide your listener through what you want to

4:32say. So when you're asked for your opinion, especially unexpectedly,

4:37you have a clearer way to respond and make your message

4:42easy to follow. Whether you're sharing an opinion,

4:46explaining something in depth, or telling a story in a conversation,

4:51Fluency School is designed to help you build that skill through guided practice

4:56and feedback.

4:57So if that sounds like something you need right now for your English,

5:01I'll share a link in the notes below where you can get more details. Okay,

5:05so once you know what you want to do in the conversation,

5:09the next step is to choose one idea to start with, just one.

5:14This is where that feeling of chaos can start to become much more

5:20manageable. So I want you to imagine someone asks you,

5:23"What did you think of the proposal?" And while you think about it,

5:27there are several ideas that come to mind,

5:30like maybe the overall idea of the proposal is good,

5:34the timeline seems a bit unrealistic,

5:37maybe you've got some questions about the budget as well,

5:40and you remember the team tried something very similar a few years ago.

5:45So all of those thoughts, of course, are relevant,

5:49but they don't all need to come out at once at the same time in the same moment

5:53of the conversation. So the question to ask here is,

5:57"What is the one thing I most want this person to understand

6:02first?" Maybe your answer is,

6:05"My biggest concern is the timeline." And now you've got your starting point.

6:10Those other thoughts haven't disappeared, and they're not unimportant.

6:16They simply don't need attention right now.

6:19And this is a very important shift. Instead of thinking,

6:23"How do I say everything that's on my mind?" The question becomes,

6:28"What do I want to say first?" And once that idea is clear,

6:32the next decision becomes much easier.

6:36What information actually belongs to that idea?

6:40So let's build on this. You've made the decision about what to do.

6:44You're going to talk about your concern. You've got your idea.

6:48You've decided my biggest concern is the timeline.

6:52All your other thoughts are still there.

6:54You remember that similar project that took four months last year.

6:59You have questions about the budget,

7:01and you know the team is already working on two other projects right now.

7:05So at this point, the key question is,

7:07which of these ideas in my mind or which of these thoughts help me to

7:12explain my concern about the timeline?

7:16The fact that a similar project took four months, yes,

7:20that helps explain why maybe this six week proposed timeline

7:26concerns you.

7:27The fact that the team already has two projects happening right now,

7:31that also might belong to supporting your concern.

7:35But your question about the budget, that's a different issue,

7:38and this is an important distinction.

7:41A thought that you have can be relevant to the conversation

7:47without belonging to the idea that you need to talk about right now.

7:51It is something that you reserve for later. By making these decisions,

7:56you're helping your brain limit the chaos.

7:59You're removing the distractions. So in this case,

8:03your response to that question,

8:05"What do you think about the proposal?" It might sound like this. "Well,

8:09my biggest concern is the timeline.

8:12We only have six weeks and a similar project took us four months last year.

8:18Plus, the team is already working on two other projects right now.

8:22"Now the listener can clearly understand your concern and why it

8:27matters. Again, the budget question can come later.

8:31Following this process,

8:33making these decisions is what prevents rambling,

8:37and instead it helps you to fully express an idea clearly. Now,

8:42one thing that concerns my students when I teach this process is still feeling

8:47like they have to have every thought perfectly organized and ready to say

8:52before they even begin to speak.

8:54And that's not quite true.

8:57Once you know what you want to do in the conversation and you know which idea

9:02you want to share, you can start.

9:05And it's okay if the idea is still taking shape in your mind.

9:09It's okay if you don't have every single part of that idea clearly

9:14formed. This is where we can use the skill of thinking out loud.

9:20For example, you may say, "I'm still thinking this through,

9:24but my biggest concern is the timeline," or,

9:27"I haven't decided completely,

9:30but one thing I'm sure about is..." Now,

9:33thinking out loud can be uncomfortable for some of us,

9:36especially those of us who are more introverted and like to have time to think

9:41and fully process before we speak, but we don't always have that luxury.

9:46So if this is something you struggle with,

9:48I recommend watching another lesson I have on how to naturally think out

9:53loud in English conversations. If it's something that you need,

9:57I'll leave a link to that lesson in the notes below.

10:00But for this particular lesson,

10:01the important thing I want you to remember is this.

10:05Organizing your thoughts doesn't mean planning every sentence before you

10:10begin to speak.

10:12You just need enough clarity to know where you're starting and which

10:17idea you're working with first.

10:20So now let's put all of this into practice and we're going to use a different

10:24example. Imagine a friend of yours asks,

10:27"What did you think of the new restaurant last night?" And in that moment,

10:31several thoughts come to your mind. You think, "Well, the food was excellent.

10:36It was more expensive than you expected. The service was a bit slow.

10:41You loved the atmosphere, and you would probably go back,

10:45but only for a special occasion." So all of that hits you all at once.

10:51Instead of trying to turn all five thoughts into one answer,

10:56start with the decisions we've been working on. First, what do I want to do?

11:01Perhaps in this situation, you want to give your opinion. Next,

11:06what is the one idea you want to start with?

11:09Maybe the key idea is that you liked it,

11:12but you really think it's more of a special occasion restaurant.

11:17And then now, what belongs to that idea? Well,

11:21the food was excellent, which supports why you liked it,

11:25and the higher than expected prices help to explain why you would save this

11:30for special occasions. Now, of course, the slow service and the atmosphere,

11:34these are still irrelevant,

11:36but they don't necessarily need to come into this answer right now.

11:41They can be part of the conversation later. So in that moment,

11:45your initial response might be, "I really liked it,

11:48but I think it's more of a special occasion restaurant. I mean, the food.

11:52Was excellent,

11:53but it was more expensive than I expected." And that's your clear,

11:57well-organized response. So now I want you to practice.

12:01I want you to think of a question in which someone may genuinely ask for your

12:07opinion this week. Before you answer,

12:10take a moment to sort through what comes to your mind and then think through

12:14those questions. What do I want to do right now? What is most important?

12:19What idea do I want to start with? And what belongs to that idea?

12:25And then begin speaking. Now, if you want,

12:28of course you can share your example with me in the comments below. As always,

12:33if you found this lesson helpful,

12:35don't forget to subscribe or follow wherever you're watching or listening from

12:39today. Thank you so much for joining me, and I look forward to next time.