Full transcript
0:00some feelings are like old familiar
0:03friends depressions like that for
0:07me the other thing about depression is
0:09it kind of collapses
0:11time I'm not you I don't live in this
0:14magical world where everything always
0:17works
0:18out there
0:21is much
0:23pain
0:25and I don't know how to not notice it
0:29most of the time
0:30[Music]
0:33most days
0:36[Music]
0:42feel I don't feel
0:44anything when I'm not in it I don't
0:46remember
0:48it remember the darkness but
0:51it's different to feel it
0:55again you find your whole days blending
0:57together to create one endless and
0:59suffocate
1:01when you don't have a voice you have to
1:02scream
1:04[Music]
1:05somehow I need it to
1:08stop I need everything to
1:13stop some help my
1:18recovery in the of the
1:22sea in the
1:26oan shut the [ __ ] up leave me alone
1:30leave me the [ __ ]
1:31[Music]
1:36alone people life it never
1:41stops so you find yourself trying to
1:44remember the things that made you
1:46happy the episode starts it can be slow
1:48at first intrusive thought I don't want
1:51to be here but then it's gone B it away
1:54like a fly or a bad smell when it hits
1:56you fully though you really in it it's
1:59everything it's who you are do
2:01[Music]
2:10nothing
2:13I'm I broken down feel like
2:19nothing nothing ever works out you know
2:21like think a whole freaking universe is
2:24against me because it felt better than
2:27nothing that thorough [ __ ]
2:30shame was so much better than that
2:33horrible empty
2:37nothing maybe I'm tired of playing Suzie
2:40[ __ ] Sunshine all the time huh think
2:43of
2:43[Music]
2:45that I'm
2:48[Music]
2:50de I felt so afraid of so many things
2:54for so
2:55long I mean I don't even think I can
2:58ever remember not being afraid
3:01slowly your brain begins to erase every
3:03memory that ever brought you
3:06[Music]
3:07Joy and eventually all you can think
3:10about is how life has always been this
3:13way and we'll only continue to be this
3:16way all I see is Sky and water to the
3:20Horizon and it's
3:23like how much longer have this
3:25[Music]
3:28one
3:31the worst part of depression is that
3:34even though you know you're depressed
3:36you're unable to stop yourself from
3:38getting
3:40worse on the outside you look the same
3:42smiling and pretending so much work but
3:44inside it's a different story you never
3:47really know what's going on inside
3:49someone else's
3:56head