Full transcript
0:00Most people think that to be persuasive
0:02, you just need the right words . Yet ,
0:06you've surely met someone capable of
0:08captivating an entire conversation
0:10without speaking louder than anyone
0:12else . Conversely , some people have
0:16excellent ideas , but as soon as they
0:18open their mouths , no one seems to
0:20really listen . Why this difference ? The
0:23answer is simple . Communication is
0:26above all a matter of psychology . Words
0:29matter , but they represent only part of
0:31the equation . What really influences
0:35others is how you convey your message ,
0:37the emotions you trigger , and the
0:39confidence you inspire . If you learn to
0:44master these mechanisms , you will be
0:46able to express yourself with more
0:48confidence , be more respected , persuade
0:51more easily , and leave a lasting
0:53impression , whether at work , in your
0:55relationships , or even during a simple
0:58chat . In this video , you will discover
1:02eight techniques used unconsciously by
1:04the best communicators . Some seem
1:07insignificant at first glance , but once
1:09mastered , they completely change how
1:11others perceive you . And I can tell you
1:15one thing already : the last technique
1:17is probably the one that transforms a
1:19conversation the most . Few people use
1:22it correctly . Yet , it is the one that
1:25creates the strongest bonds . If you
1:28want to develop a presence that
1:30naturally inspires respect , subscribe
1:32to The Stoic Entrepreneur , hit the bell
1:34, and leave a like . Every week , you
1:37will discover psychology , communication
1:39, and personal development strategies
1:42that will help you gain self-confidence
1:44and better understand others . Let's
1:47begin . Imagine two people saying
1:49exactly the same sentence . The first
1:53arrives abruptly , starts talking
1:55immediately , and almost invades the
1:57other person's space . The second takes
2:01a second to make eye contact , displays
2:03a slight smile , and waits for the other
2:05to be available before beginning . The
2:09words are identical . Yet , the reaction
2:12is completely different . Why ? Because
2:17our brain analyzes an impressive amount
2:19of information even before hearing the
2:21first word . In a fraction of a second ,
2:25it subconsciously decides if the person
2:27is a threat , if they are trustworthy ,
2:30or if they deserve our attention . In
2:33other words , the conversation starts
2:35long before the first words . That is
2:38why the first technique is to prepare
2:40the other person for the conversation .
2:43When you want to talk to someone , avoid
2:45popping up without warning or starting
2:48your explanation directly . Approach
2:51calmly , and respect a comfortable
2:53distance . Make natural eye contact ,
2:57then let a slight smile appear . These
3:01three elements send an extremely
3:03powerful message . They silently say , "
3:06You can be at ease with me . " This
3:10simple change completely alters the
3:12emotional state of the person you are
3:13talking to . Psychologists often talk
3:17about first impressions , and that first
3:19impression is built in just a few
3:21seconds . If those first few seconds
3:24inspire trust , your listener will be
3:26much more receptive to what follows .
3:29Conversely , if you seem stressed ,
3:31closed off , or in a hurry , they will
3:34naturally tend to protect themselves or
3:36lose focus . Great communicators know
3:40that the quality of a conversation
3:42often depends on the first ten seconds .
3:44Before looking for the right words ,
3:46create the right conditions . You will
3:49see that exchanges will immediately
3:50become more fluid . But this first piece
3:54of advice only serves to open the door .
3:57The next one allows you to create an
3:58almost invisible connection . Have you
4:01ever felt like you met someone with
4:03whom everything seemed natural ? The
4:06conversations flowed easily . You had
4:09the feeling of being understood , as if
4:11you were on the same wavelength . In
4:14many cases , this is not a coincidence .
4:17Our brain naturally appreciates what
4:19resembles it . This is what is called
4:22the mirror effect . This technique has
4:25been used for a long time in the
4:27psychology of communication , but it is
4:29often misunderstood . Some people think
4:32you have to copy the other person's
4:34gestures exactly . That is a mistake . If
4:38you imitate someone in an obvious way ,
4:40you risk appearing strange . The true
4:43mirror effect is much more subtle .
4:47Observe the pace at which your
4:48interlocutor speaks . Are they calm or
4:51very dynamic ? Do they take the time to
4:54think before answering ? Do they speak
4:57with a lot of energy or in a measured
4:58way ? Without acting , slightly adapt
5:02your own pace . Do the same thing with
5:05your posture . If they are relaxed ,
5:08there is no need to remain completely
5:10rigid . If they speak softly , avoid
5:13responding with excessive energy .
5:16Little by little , your behaviors will
5:18naturally start to converge . Why does
5:21this work ? Because our brain
5:23unconsciously interprets this
5:25synchronization as a sign of
5:26familiarity . And what is familiar
5:29generally seems safer . This is the
5:32reason why some people inspire
5:33immediate trust without even knowing
5:35how to explain why . It unconsciously
5:38creates this feeling of harmony . Be
5:41careful , however , the goal is never to
5:43manipulate someone . The real objective
5:45is to show that you are fully present
5:47in the conversation . When you are
5:49sincerely interested in your listener ,
5:51this synchronization often happens on
5:53its own , and that is precisely what
5:55makes it so powerful . But even if a
5:58person feels connected to you , that
6:00won't be enough if your voice
6:01constantly betrays doubt . That is
6:04exactly what we are going to see now .
6:07Before going any further , I would like
6:08to address everyone who sometimes feels
6:10that their fear prevents them from
6:12taking action . If you overthink until
6:15you end up doing nothing , if you
6:16hesitate to speak up , to defend your
6:19ideas , or to step out of your comfort
6:21zone , I've created a guide just for you
6:23. Transform your fears into confidence
6:26right now . You’ll discover simple
6:29methods to take action despite fear ,
6:31along with two exclusive bonuses . 30
6:33progressive challenges to build your
6:35courage and anti-block scripts to know
6:38exactly what to say in difficult
6:40situations . The link is available in
6:42the description . Now imagine two people
6:45presenting the exact same idea . Both
6:48have the same amount of knowledge . Both
6:50use almost the same words . Yet , one
6:53seems credible while the other appears
6:55to lack confidence . This phenomenon is
6:58much more common than you might think .
7:00The reason is simple . Our brain doesn't
7:03just judge the content of the message .
7:05It also evaluates how that message is
7:07delivered . A hesitant voice full of "
7:10ums , " interrupted sentences , or
7:12constant apologies sends a signal of
7:15doubt . And when you seem to doubt
7:18yourself , others unconsciously start to
7:20doubt you too . Conversely , someone who
7:24speaks calmly with a controlled pace
7:26and a steady voice immediately inspires
7:28more credibility . This doesn't mean you
7:32have to speak louder . True leaders
7:34generally don't need to raise their
7:36voices . They speak slowly when the
7:39subject is important . They articulate
7:41clearly . They let their sentences
7:43breathe . They give the impression that
7:45they are in control of the situation .
7:47The most interesting part is that this
7:49confidence doesn't always depend on how
7:51you feel . Psychological research shows
7:55that our posture , our breathing , and
7:57how we speak also influence our own
8:00mental state . In other words , you don't
8:03need to wait until you feel totally
8:05confident to speak with assurance .
8:08Start by adopting the behaviors of a
8:10calm person . Breathe more deeply . Slow
8:13down your pace slightly . Remove
8:16unnecessary filler words . Embrace the
8:18brief silences . Very often , your brain
8:21will end up following your behavior .
8:24It's the exact same principle as an
8:26athlete who appears serene before a
8:28competition , even when they feel
8:30intense pressure . Confidence isn't
8:33always an emotion ; it's often a habit .
8:36And the more calmly you express
8:38yourself , the more others will want to
8:40listen to you . But despite all this ,
8:42there is still one mistake that most
8:44people make without even realizing it .
8:47They think that speaking more will give
8:49them more impact . In reality , it's
8:52often the opposite , and the next
8:54technique will completely change how
8:56you communicate . Many people think that
8:58a successful conversation depends on
9:00the amount of things they manage to say
9:02. They want to respond quickly ; they
9:04want to show that they are smart . They
9:06want to fill every second of silence .
9:09But paradoxically , it is often this
9:11urge to talk too much that reduces
9:13their impact . People who truly master
9:16communication understand one essential
9:18thing . Silence can be a tool of power .
9:24Imagine a person who asks an important
9:25question during a meeting . They ask , "
9:28What do you think of this strategy ? "
9:31Then immediately , they start speaking
9:34again . They explain their point of view
9:36, they justify their idea . They almost
9:38answer their own question themselves .
9:41The problem is , they never gave others
9:44time to reflect . Now , imagine another
9:48person who asks the exact same question
9:51. They look at the participants , they
9:54wait . A few seconds pass . At first ,
9:59this silence might seem uncomfortable ,
10:01but gradually , someone speaks up . Then
10:05a real discussion begins . Why ? Because
10:09silence creates psychological space . It
10:12gives others the opportunity to
10:13participate . In a conversation , the one
10:17who controls their need to talk often
10:19controls the dynamic more . Confident
10:22people don't feel the obligation to
10:24fill every void . They understand that
10:26certain pauses give more weight to
10:28their words . When you tell an important
10:32story , a short pause before a key
10:33sentence increases attention . When you
10:36express a strong idea , a silence after
10:39your words allows others to better
10:41integrate it . When someone asks you a
10:44difficult question , taking a few
10:46seconds before answering shows that you
10:48are thinking instead of reacting
10:50impulsively . It is a major difference
10:53between a person who simply seeks to be
10:56heard and a person who seeks to have
10:58influence . Nervous people often talk to
11:01decrease their own discomfort .
11:04Confident people accept silence because
11:07they know their value doesn't depend on
11:09constantly talking . This does not mean
11:13becoming cold or distant . The goal is
11:15not to create awkward silence . The goal
11:18is to master your rhythm . A
11:20conversation is not a race where the
11:22person who speaks the most wins . It is
11:25an exchange where the one who knows how
11:27to listen , reflect , and choose their
11:29words creates the most impact . And
11:32precisely , this ability brings us to
11:35the 5th technique . Because powerful
11:38communication is not just about knowing
11:40how to speak , it is also about knowing
11:42how to receive the other's message .
11:46Have you ever talked with someone who
11:47looked at their phone while you were
11:49speaking to them , or with someone who
11:51was simply waiting for you to finish so
11:52they could give their own opinion ? Even
11:56if they didn't say anything negative ,
11:58you probably felt something . You didn't
12:01feel truly listened to . And that is
12:04exactly the mistake that many people
12:06make . They think they are listening
12:09when , in reality , they are only waiting
12:10for their turn to speak . The 5th
12:14technique is therefore active listening
12:16. The best communicators are not those
12:19who speak constantly ; they are those
12:21who make others feel understood . Active
12:25listening consists of being totally
12:27present during an exchange . This means
12:29letting your interlocutor finish their
12:31sentences , and not mentally preparing
12:33your response while they are speaking .
12:36Observe their expressions , and ask
12:38questions that show your interest . For
12:42example , instead of just answering " I
12:45understand , " you can say , " So if I
12:47understand correctly , what really
12:49affected you was this specific
12:51situation . " This little reformulation
12:55shows one important thing . You didn't
12:58just hear those words , you tried to
13:00understand their experience , and that
13:02difference is huge . Human beings have a
13:06fundamental psychological need : to feel
13:09recognized . When a person feels heard ,
13:13they naturally lower their defenses .
13:15They become more open , they share more .
13:19They develop trust in you more easily .
13:23It is for this reason that some people
13:25seem to have a natural charisma . It is
13:28not necessarily because they tell
13:30incredible stories or have an
13:32exceptional personality . It is often
13:34because they give others a rare feeling
13:36. " When I talk to this person , I feel
13:41like I matter , " and this feeling
13:43creates a much stronger connection than
13:46any persuasion technique . However ,
13:50there is a trap . Some people think that
13:54being a good communicator means always
13:56being pleasant , accepting all opinions ,
13:58and avoiding any conflict . But
14:01constantly seeking to be liked can
14:03destroy your influence . That is what we
14:06are going to see with the next
14:08technique . There is a big difference
14:10between being respectful and absolutely
14:12wanting to please . Many people are
14:15afraid to express their opinion . They
14:17change their way of thinking depending
14:18on the person in front of them . They
14:20say yes when they think no . They avoid
14:23giving their true opinion for fear of
14:24being rejected . In the moment , that may
14:27seem like a good strategy . After all ,
14:30fewer conflicts mean fewer problems .
14:33But over time , something happens .
14:35Others unconsciously sense this lack of
14:38authenticity . They feel that this
14:40person is seeking approval more than
14:42the truth . And a person who constantly
14:45seeks to be validated gradually loses
14:47their influence . Leaders are not
14:49respected because they agree with
14:51everyone . They are respected because
14:54they have a clear vision and know how
14:55to express it intelligently . This does
14:58not mean imposing your ideas or
15:00despising those of others . A person
15:03with strong communication can say , " I
15:04understand your point of view , but I
15:06see the situation differently . " This
15:09sentence seems simple , but it shows two
15:12powerful qualities : open-mindedness and
15:14self-confidence . You acknowledge the
15:17other person without abandoning your
15:19own convictions . It is this combination
15:21that builds respect . In professional
15:24life , those who dare to express their
15:27ideas are often the ones granted more
15:29credibility . In personal relationships ,
15:32authentic people create stronger bonds
15:35because others know they aren't playing
15:37a role . Confidence does not come from
15:40everyone liking you . It comes from
15:43knowing who you are , even when some
15:45people don't agree with you . Powerful
15:48communication therefore requires
15:50courage — the courage to speak . The
15:53courage to listen , but above all , the
15:55courage to be authentic . And yet , there
15:59is an even deeper dimension to
16:01communication . A skill that allows you
16:04to understand what words don't always
16:06say . This skill separates good
16:09communicators from true leaders . That
16:12is what we are going to discover in the
16:13next part . Imagine a simple situation .
16:17A friend comes to talk to you about a
16:19problem . He starts to explain what he's
16:21going through , but you notice something
16:23in his face . His words say , " It's fine ,
16:26it's not a big deal . " But his tone of
16:29voice is different . His gaze avoids
16:31contact . His energy seems lower than
16:34usual . A person who masters
16:36communication doesn't just stop at
16:38words . They observe what is happening
16:40behind the words . This brings us to the
16:437th technique : identifying the emotions
16:45of the person you are talking to . Most
16:48conversations remain superficial
16:50because people only respond to the
16:52content . Someone says , " I had a bad day
16:56. " The classic response is often , " Oh ,
16:58okay , it happens . " Then the
17:01conversation continues . But a person
17:03with more developed emotional
17:05intelligence will seek to understand
17:07what lies behind that sentence . They
17:10might reply , " I get the impression that
17:12this day really affected you . What
17:14happened ? " This difference seems
17:17minimal , but it completely changes the
17:19quality of the exchange . Why ? Because
17:23human beings don't just seek solutions ;
17:25they also seek to be understood . Very
17:28often , when a person shares a
17:30difficulty , they aren't immediately
17:32asking for advice . They first want to
17:35feel that someone acknowledges what
17:36they are feeling . This is a frequent
17:39mistake in communication . We want to
17:42help so badly that we jump straight to
17:44solutions . Someone expresses
17:47frustration and we respond immediately :
17:49" You should do this , you should try
17:51that . " But sometimes the best response
17:56is not a solution ; it's emotional
17:58validation . Saying , " I understand why
18:01you feel that way . That must be
18:04difficult to go through . I see why this
18:06situation affected you . " These phrases
18:09don't necessarily solve the problem ,
18:12but they create something even more
18:14important : a sense of security . The
18:17person realizes they aren't just being
18:19heard ; they are being understood . And
18:22when a person feels understood , they
18:24naturally become more open toward you .
18:27It’s a principle used by great
18:29negotiators , leaders , and people who
18:31work in human relations . Before trying
18:35to influence someone , you must first
18:37understand their emotional state .
18:40Because a person dominated by a strong
18:42emotion doesn't just listen with logic ;
18:44they listen with their feelings . If you
18:47ignore this dimension , even the best
18:50argument can fail . But when you learn
18:53to recognize emotions , your
18:55conversations change completely . You
18:57become someone that others want to come
19:00back to . You become someone they feel
19:02confident and comfortable with . And
19:04that trust is one of the most powerful
19:06foundations of charisma . However , there
19:09is one last technique that might seem
19:12simple , almost trivial , but has immense
19:14power over human relationships . It
19:17allows you to create positive emotion
19:20and make conversations memorable . Think
19:23of someone you enjoy talking to . Why do
19:26you like speaking with them ? Is it only
19:28because they possess great knowledge ?
19:31Not necessarily . Often , what we
19:34remember most about someone isn't
19:36exactly what they said , but the emotion
19:39we felt in their presence . That is why
19:42this final technique is to add a touch
19:44of humor . Be careful , it’s not about
19:47becoming the person who is constantly
19:49trying to make everyone laugh . It’s
19:52also not about telling jokes every 5
19:54minutes . Effective humor in
19:56communication is much more subtle .
19:59It’s a way to bring in some lightness
20:01. A funny remark in the right context ,
20:04a little self-deprecation , a
20:06spontaneous reaction that brings a
20:09smile . These small moments can
20:12completely transform an interaction .
20:14Why ? Because laughter creates a
20:17positive emotional association . When
20:20someone has a good time with you , their
20:22brain naturally associates your
20:24presence with that pleasant sensation .
20:27This is one of the reasons why some
20:29people are naturally well-liked . They
20:32don't just make conversations useful ;
20:33they make them enjoyable . Imagine two
20:37people giving exactly the same advice .
20:40The first speaks in a cold and
20:42mechanical way . The second explains the
20:45same thing with a bit of energy , warmth
20:47, and a touch of humor . Which one will
20:50be more memorable ? Most likely the
20:53second one . Because communication isn't
20:56just an exchange of information ; it’s
20:58an exchange of emotion . Great leaders
21:01understand this . They know how to
21:03inspire because they don't just share
21:05ideas , they transmit an energy . They
21:08make others want to listen to them .
21:10They create an experience . Of course ,
21:13the humor must remain natural . Forced
21:16humor can have the opposite effect . The
21:19goal is not to constantly seek approval
21:21. The goal is simply to allow the
21:24conversation to be more human . A person
21:28capable of making others think , feel ,
21:31and sometimes smile possesses
21:33exceptional influence . Now , let’s
21:37recap the eight principles we have
21:39covered . First , prepare the other
21:41person for the conversation . Even
21:44before you speak , your body language is
21:46already conveying a message . Your gaze ,
21:49your smile , and your approach can
21:52immediately create a climate of trust .
21:56Second , use mirroring intelligently —
21:58not to play a role , but to create a
22:01natural connection with the person
22:03you're talking to . Third , speak with
22:07confidence . Your voice , your pace , and
22:10your posture greatly influence how
22:12others perceive your message . Fourth ,
22:16master the silence . Pauses do not
22:19diminish your impact . On the contrary ,
22:22they can give more power to your words .
22:25Fifth , develop your active listening .
22:29People who know how to listen naturally
22:31become more appreciated and respected .
22:35Sixth , stop constantly trying to please
22:37others . Express your ideas with respect
22:41and stay true to your values . This is
22:44how you build a real presence . Seventh ,
22:47learn to recognize the emotions of
22:50others . Logic sometimes convinces , but
22:53emotion creates the connection . And
22:56finally , add a touch of humor . Because
22:59a memorable conversation isn't just an
23:02intelligent one ; it’s one that makes
23:05you feel something . Communication is a
23:09skill that can completely transform
23:11your life . It can help you create
23:14better relationships , defend your ideas
23:17, gain confidence , and inspire more
23:19respect around you . But remember one
23:23important thing . The best communicators
23:25don't just seek to speak better . They
23:28seek to better understand others ,
23:31because ultimately , positively
23:33influencing someone isn't about
23:35controlling their mind . It’s about
23:38creating a connection strong enough for
23:41your message to truly be heard . If this
23:45video provided value , subscribe to the
23:47Stoic Entrepreneur and hit the bell so
23:49you don't miss any new videos on
23:51psychology , self-confidence , and
23:53personal development . And now , I
23:57recommend that you watch another video
23:59on the channel . It will teach you how
24:03your body language can strengthen your
24:05influence , even when you aren't saying
24:07a word . See you in that next video .