Full transcript
0:01The story of a UOC priest’s wife in
0:03London recently came to light . She
0:06revealed that her husband had been
0:07beating , strangling , and throwing her
0:09out of the house for years . When she
0:12went to her confessor with this , he
0:14advised her to be patient and humble .
0:17How should we correctly understand
0:19humility so it doesn't become a weapon
0:21against the person themselves ? It is
0:27important to realize that sometimes
0:29certain concepts get confused . Humility
0:32is one thing , and cowardice is another .
0:36It is one thing when a person humbles
0:38themselves , and another when someone
0:40humbles you , saying , " Be humble . Accept
0:44what is being done to you . " The
0:46confessor told the wife : " Stay where
0:49you are and endure the beatings . "
0:51Because the confessor himself had never
0:54endured beatings , and it did not affect
0:57him . The woman was the one suffering
0:58the beatings . He advised her to endure
1:01it . But if he himself were being beaten
1:03, would he stay there and endure it ? We
1:07must be careful . It's quite simple here
1:10. If we see that it's possible to yield
1:13on something , it's better to yield ,
1:16even if justice is on our side . And in
1:19doing so , we show a certain spiritual
1:21mercy to our neighbor . By yielding , we
1:24do not surrender this person to the
1:26demon of anger . Even if you are right ,
1:30yield , and then , in a couple of days ,
1:33when your neighbor has calmed down ,
1:35explain your point of view , which seems
1:37correct to you . That is where your
1:41humility will lie . But if you yield a
1:44second and third time and see that the
1:47other person is abusing it , then you
1:49should stand up and put that person in
1:51their place . Otherwise , you are
1:55becoming the cause of that person's sin
1:58. By not yielding in such a situation ,
2:01you prevent the other from sinning .
2:05Christ possessed extreme humility , yet
2:08at one point He took a whip , overturned
2:10the merchants ' tables , and gave them a
2:13scolding . Was He not humble ? Of course ,
2:19He was . But humility is one thing , and
2:22cowardice is another . We , as spiritual
2:25guides , must be careful when advising
2:27someone to be humble , only when we see
2:29that the person is capable of
2:31overcoming the temptation . We can tell
2:34them : " Be patient , show humility . " But
2:38if it could cause harm , we should
2:40recall Christ's example , that one does
2:42not always have to turn the other cheek
2:45. When a soldier struck Him on the
2:48cheek , Christ objected and demanded an
2:51explanation . Therefore , we must
2:55understand where the line is drawn ,
2:57otherwise we risk becoming guilty of
2:59another person's sin . These are obvious
3:03things . Let us not dress up our
3:06cowardice as humility . If a woman sees
3:10that her submissiveness makes her
3:12husband behave even worse and the
3:14children are being traumatized , she
3:16should be firm and resist her husband's
3:19misconduct to save both herself and the
3:21children . Let her seek advice from a
3:25confessor on how to act in a given
3:28situation . If the confessor lacks the
3:31gift of discernment , then she should
3:33leave him and go to another . We are not
3:36married to our spiritual fathers . You
3:39need to leave one and go to another . If
3:43, say , a spiritual father sees that
3:45this woman is a strong person and
3:47capable of overcoming all these
3:49torments , in that case he will tell her
3:52: " Stay , endure , and you will attain
3:54holiness . " But if this suffering is
3:58causing her harm , and the spiritual
4:00father , seeing this , continues to tell
4:02her : " Stay and endure , " then that
4:04priest who told her to " keep enduring , "
4:06thereby allowing the husband to get
4:08worse , will go to eternal torment .
4:12Instead of admonishing the man and
4:14explaining to him that his behavior is
4:16wrong , the priest , by giving such
4:18advice , conversely convinces him that
4:20he is right . As a result , the woman
4:24stops resisting . Of course , each case
4:27is individual , so spiritual fathers
4:29must be very careful about the advice
4:31they give to their spiritual children .
4:35Another common mistake is when a person
4:38is cowardly by nature , but says : " I am
4:40humble . " No , you are not humble , you
4:43are a coward . Who told you that being
4:45humble means bowing your head so that
4:47everyone can wipe their feet on it ? If
4:51we are humble , and they come at our
4:53country with tanks and weapons , will we
4:55tell them : " Come , come " ? If someone is
4:59truly cowardly by nature , what should
5:01be done ? Then a spiritual father or a
5:04friend must protect this timid person .
5:07It is one thing when someone is
5:09cowardly , and quite another when a
5:11person decides to retreat and refuse to
5:13fight . Let us not forget that we also
5:16have the Prophet David , who was a great
5:19warrior , but wrote some of the best
5:21hymns to humility . He fought and at the
5:25same time was humble and became a saint
5:27. camera .