Full transcript
0:00so to me that's a transformational
0:01life-changing mindblowing way to think
0:03about life it's to connect more deeply
0:05with them to remind himself what was
0:07truly important and one of the
0:09fascinating things about markus's
0:10meditations is how often he returns to
0:12this very
0:13[Music]
0:16theme for the most part we can't change
0:18the world but we can change ourselves
0:20and specifically the stoics would say
0:22can change how we think about the world
0:24and that's really what stoicism is it's
0:25a philosophy really it's a set of
0:27thinking exercises perspective shifts
0:30that allow you to see things differently
0:33and thus allows things to go differently
0:35I'm Ryan holiday I've written about sto
0:37philosophy now for almost 15 years I've
0:39talked about it everywhere from the NBA
0:41to the NFL Special Forces sitting
0:43Senators that's what we're going to talk
0:45about today some of the best stoic mind
0:47shifts from Marcus's meditations to
0:50senica's letters to the life of ko to
0:53the example of Zeno these are going to
0:55be important exercises from the stoics
0:58the stoics tried to apply that if you
1:00apply can allow you to change yourself
1:02and the
1:06world poverty isn't just having too
1:09little this is one of the insights from
1:10senica he's saying that it's not just
1:12having too little although having too
1:14little is a problem and we wouldn't want
1:15to make light of that form of poverty
1:18but he says poverty is also not having
1:20enough and senica would have met
1:22extremely wealthy and rich people Markus
1:24would have met extremely wealthy and
1:25rich people I myself have met many many
1:28rich people but they don't feel rich not
1:30just cuz they have extravagant tastes
1:32they're insatiable but also because
1:34they're comparing themselves to people
1:36who have more so it doesn't matter if
1:38you have a billion dollars if you wake
1:40up and go but I'm only 30th on the
1:43Forbes list and these people have more
1:45or not even financially these people get
1:47more attention than me these people are
1:49more respected than me these people have
1:52more fun than me this comparison makes
1:55us poor because we don't have a lot
1:57compared to what we wanted we don't have
1:59a lot compared compared to what we used
2:00to have we have a little compared to
2:03what we could have or we have a little
2:05compared to what other people have and
2:07so when you realize that there are
2:09impoverished rich people it should
2:11change your perspective it should free
2:13you to realize that having more and more
2:15and more is not likely to solve your
2:17problems it's not likely to feel good if
2:19you don't feel those things now when by
2:22the way you have
2:25[Music]
2:26enough Marcus really in meditation says
2:29the things you think about determine the
2:30quality of your mind since your life is
2:32died by the color of your thought that's
2:34such a perfect way to put it he's saying
2:36like if all you look for is the bad in
2:38people all you're going to see is the
2:40bad in people if all you see is darkness
2:43and awfulness and evil that's what your
2:46world is going to look like and it's
2:47funny right that Marx has his reputation
2:49book two of meditations he's saying like
2:51you know the people today you're going
2:52to meet are annoying and obnoxious and
2:55jealous and all this right and that it
2:56seems like Marcus is doing exactly what
2:58he's saying not to do but then he goes
2:59goes look these people just don't know
3:01any better their souls are cut off from
3:04truth he said he says you're made to
3:05work with them nothing can implicate you
3:07in ugliness so the stoics are saying
3:09that what we think about what we look
3:11for in this world determines what we're
3:12going to be able to see and that is the
3:14discipline of perception that's the
3:16power that we have our mind dies what
3:19our life will look like it's the the
3:21lenses through which we look at the
3:23world if we look for beauty in the
3:25mundane as Marcus does repeatedly
3:26throughout meditation we'll see that if
3:28we look for the evidence of goodness in
3:30people if we see Our obligation to to
3:32help and to work with them we'll see
3:34that if you decide to see agency and
3:36Power in yourself in in every situation
3:39you're in you'll find it even in the
3:41darkest hardest
3:44[Music]
3:46circumstances anxiety isn't this thing
3:48that you eliminate that you avoid it's
3:50something that's inside you in
3:52meditations markis writes today I
3:54escaped my anxiety and he corrects
3:56himself he actually wait no I didn't I
3:58discarded it because it was within me
4:01and when you shift you go yeah the
4:02airport is not making me anxious this
4:05other person is not frustrating me or
4:07stressing me out because they can't do
4:09it that to me they are outside me I am
4:12doing it to myself it's my expectations
4:15that are the problem it's my inability
4:17to accept things that is the problem
4:19it's not your parents that are
4:21frustrating you they're just doing what
4:22they do just like the airport is doing
4:25what it does and so understanding that
4:26we're the source of the frustration it's
4:28a little frustrating yeah but it's also
4:30very free because it means we can stop
4:32it it means that we can choose to
4:34discard it as Mark cus said and that's
4:37actually one thing that I realized
4:38during the pandemic right I was
4:39traveling less I was doing less and yet
4:42I still had this anxiety and of course
4:43there was some anxiety cuz what was
4:45happening in the outside world was a bit
4:47crazy but it was realizing that I was
4:49the Common Thread amidst all of these
4:52so-called causes of anxiety it was
4:57me I was probably 19 or 20 years old and
5:01I was talking to Robert Green one
5:02greatest authors of all time 48 Laws of
5:04Power and I was thinking about becoming
5:06a writer and I had some time left on my
5:09contract at the company I was working
5:11and he said look what is this next year
5:13going to be for you he said is this
5:14going to be a live time or dead time and
5:17what he meant by that was was I going to
5:19going to burn out this year of the
5:20contract was I just going to sit there
5:22or was I going to spend every minute of
5:25that year becoming better reading better
5:27reaching out to people building Rel
5:29relationships trying new things
5:31experimenting and he was totally right
5:33that year after I told myself in my head
5:35that I was going to quit but before I
5:37put in my notice was one of the most
5:38productive years of my life I've had so
5:40much done I have relationships to this
5:43day that came out of that experience and
5:45most of all what I took was that that
5:47sort of difference between alive time
5:49and dead time and how essential it is
5:51look when you're stuck in traffic is
5:53that going to be aive time or dead time
5:54for you you're stuck at the airport are
5:56you going to sit there and order a pizza
5:59or you going to going to walk around the
6:00terminal listening to a podcast are you
6:02going to make a phone call that you've
6:03been putting off are you going to sit
6:04down and write that article or that book
6:06that you've told yourself you're going
6:07to write what are you going to do with
6:08time when you are not as much in control
6:11that is the critical
6:15question one of the key stoic practices
6:18of premeditation murum is thinking about
6:20what could go wrong think about what you
6:22maybe don't want to think about that's
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7:22stoic one of the big stoic shifts is
7:24realizing that postumus Fame is
7:27worthless right Marcus aurelus was
7:28incred L famous in his own lifetime they
7:30built statues of him these statues were
7:32in people's houses he was the head of an
7:35Empire of millions and millions of
7:37people he would have known that the the
7:39Deeds of other Emperors and conquerors
7:42had had lasted throughout history but he
7:44also stops himself and goes wait they're
7:46not around to enjoy this you know what
7:48good is it to Alexander that Alexandria
7:51is still named after him in fact in
7:53meditations Mark says Alexander the
7:55Great and his mule driver they both died
7:57both entered the Earth in the same way
8:00his point was that how many people
8:01remember just a couple Emperors before
8:04him he says who remembers now the name
8:05of VES passan and he lists not just the
8:07emperor but influential advisers the
8:10celebrities of that time and he says
8:12they're all forgotten and his point is
8:14is not just that most of us even the
8:16famous people even people like Marcus
8:17are inevitably forgotten right we might
8:20be talking about him here in this video
8:21but most people just know him as the old
8:23guy in the movie Gladiator if anything
8:25at all but he says also he says the
8:27people in the future are not magically
8:29going to be smarter or better than the
8:31people are now right so this idea that
8:32you're going to be Vindicated by the
8:34future is also an empty and a silly hope
8:37and again even if you are Vindicated in
8:39the future it won't do you any good
8:41because you won't be around to enjoy it
8:43so do what's right now because it's
8:46right because you want to do it don't do
8:48it because you're trying to build this
8:50Legacy for the future don't defer the
8:52love of your family don't defer being
8:55present don't defer your health right
8:58because you're stri driving to make this
9:00thing that's going to last for eternity
9:02it won't and even if it does what good
9:04will that
9:08do you take away power over events by
9:11expecting them senica says it's what
9:13Catches Us off guard what we refuse to
9:15prepare for what we refuse to think
9:17about that's what lands heaviest so the
9:19Stokes practice premeditation warm so
9:21they're prepared so they can take
9:23advantage in advance of the opportunity
9:25to plan prepare to be resilient to
9:27stiffen themselves up so the blows of
9:29Fate don't land unexpected and
9:31unnecessarily
9:32[Music]
9:35hard there's a tax on everything the
9:38stoics would say there's that expression
9:40about death and taxes well senica says
9:42it's not just that there's the taxes
9:44that the government levies on you but
9:45there's all sorts of taxes in life
9:47delays are attacks on travel haters are
9:50attacks on putting things up on YouTube
9:52there's attacks on money too right the
9:53more successful you are the more you end
9:55up having to pay but Senus is we have to
9:57learn how to pay the taxes of Life
9:59gladly not just cuz most of the taxes in
10:02life are progressive in the sense that
10:04the more good stuff you have the more
10:06fees and problems that come alongside it
10:09but also because it is a fact of life
10:12and so when we see that these taxes are
10:14a fundamental part of our existence we
10:16accept them sure do we try to mitigate
10:18them as best we can of course but we
10:21accept that there are taxes on life and
10:23then the more good things we have the
10:25more success we have the more money we
10:26make the more taxes we're going to have
10:28to pay
10:29[Music]
10:32one of my favorite lessons from epic
10:34teus he says it's impossible to learn
10:36that which you think you already know
10:38whenever I'm around people that are much
10:39better than me at something when I'm
10:41like embarrassingly bad at something I
10:43have no fear or Shame about asking
10:46really stupid questions if I'm remotely
10:47unsure about something I'll ask I don't
10:49care if I look stupid which is actually
10:51another really important lesson from
10:52epic tius he says look if you want to
10:54improve you have to be content to look
10:56stupid or foolish you have to be willing
10:58to be embarrassed or to be awkward or be
11:00uncomfortable with something or you
11:01can't get any better so I'm not afraid
11:03to ask questions I'm not afraid to look
11:05like an idiot I'd rather look like an
11:07idiot then chop off my hand or have
11:09something fall on me or screw it up so
11:11that's how I think about it I'm not
11:12afraid to ask dumb
11:17questions people suck it's just a fact
11:20and one of the fascinating things about
11:21markus's meditations is how often he
11:24returns to this very theme he opens the
11:26book with a catalog of the kind of
11:28people you're going to meet in the day
11:29frustrating people jealous people stupid
11:32people dishonest people aggressive
11:34people it's just a fact even his famous
11:37passage about how the obstacle is the
11:38way the impediment to action advances
11:40action you know what he's talking about
11:41talking about difficult people he's not
11:43saying you write them off he's not
11:44saying you cut them out he's not saying
11:45you give up on Humanity he's saying that
11:48difficult people are an opportunity to
11:49be kind to be patient to be good to get
11:53the most out of them the obstacle is the
11:55way even is about this very idea
11:57difficult people exist and we have to
11:59put up with them and figure out a way to
12:00work with them and we have to rise to
12:03the occasion of the people that we
12:05interact
12:06[Music]
12:09with people don't seem to understand
12:11this one really important thing it's
12:13that you have a superpower you have the
12:15power mark C says to have no opinion he
12:18says remember events things are not
12:20asking to be judged by you you don't
12:22have to have an opinion about this he
12:24says you can just see it as it is you
12:26can think nothing of it you don't have
12:28to lab it you don't have to put it in
12:30categories you don't have to say it's
12:31fair or unfair positive or negative
12:34smart or dumb just accept it as it is
12:37the stoics try to see the world as
12:39objective try not to insert opinions or
12:42judgments on top of things CU this is
12:44the path to peace it's the path to
12:46wisdom and of course being agnostic in
12:49this way allows you to get to work doing
12:52what you need to do rather than wasting
12:54your time labeling judging and having
12:56opinions about stuff that is not up up
12:59to
13:02you epic says every situation has two
13:05handles one will bear weight the other
13:07won't so what are you going to grab this
13:09by how are you going to choose to see it
13:11how are you going to choose to try to
13:14carry it it's the same thing a different
13:16perspective life is like that we can
13:18look at it one way or we can choose to
13:20look at it another way we can choose to
13:22look at something as an obstacle or we
13:24can choose to look at something as an
13:26opportunity we can see chaos if we look
13:28close we can see order if we look from
13:30afar we can see disadvantage if we look
13:32at it one way we could see Advantage if
13:35we look the other we can see obstacle
13:37from this perspective opportunity from
13:40the
13:43other Marcus talks about how things can
13:46get in the way of what we're trying to
13:48do our actions can be impeded but we
13:50have this superpower we have this
13:51ability that we can always accommodate
13:53and adapt and adjust he says the Mind
13:55adapts and converts to its own purposes
13:57obstacle or acting what the hell does
13:59that mean well he says the impediment to
14:01action advances action what stands and
14:03the way becomes away this is STO
14:04philosophy this idea that the obstacle
14:06is the way basically what it meant for
14:08the stoics was that every situation big
14:10ones small ones fortunate unfortunate
14:13ones good ones bad ones positive
14:15negative every situation was simply an
14:18opportunity for us to step up and be
14:20excellent or practice
14:24virtue it's strange that the stoics have
14:27this reputation for being un feeling for
14:29being emotionless because actually four
14:31of senica's best and most moving pieces
14:34of writing are actually known as his
14:36consolations these letters that he's
14:37writing to friends in one case to his
14:39mother people who have lost someone
14:41right and he's consoling them in their
14:43grief that's what it's about and I
14:45actually read these essays whenever I've
14:46lost someone or I'm trying to comfort
14:48someone who's lost someone they're
14:50they're great anyways the the part that
14:51hit me the most he writing this letter
14:53to the daughter of a friend who has died
14:56and he's saying look your father loved
14:59you very much loved you more than
15:02anything in the world what do you think
15:03he would want from you right now of
15:05course he wouldn't want you to be happy
15:06that he's dead and he be touched that
15:08you miss him and care about him but
15:09would he want his memory of you senica
15:12says to make you miserable to make you
15:15bereft with sadness and filled with pain
15:17no it's the exact opposite he'd want you
15:19to think about him and be happy to
15:21remember good times to be filled with
15:23joy right that's what he would want and
15:26so of course we're always going to feel
15:27grief when we lose someone and when we
15:29think of someone we lost but to remember
15:31what they would want us to remember it's
15:33such a wonderful little insight about
15:36grief and it's such a good insight to
15:37the stoics too because if the stoics
15:39were unfeeling and didn't have emotion
15:41senica would just say get over it don't
15:43feel it but that's not what he's saying
15:44at all instead he came up with this
15:45great way of thinking about
15:49it I'm looking here at this Cemetery in
15:52New Orleans obviously every single
15:54person in it died eventually death
15:56happened to them but senica wants us to
15:58ruin remember that death was happening
15:59to them always all 61 or 80 or 90 or 17
16:03of the years that they were alive they
16:06died every second every minute and then
16:08eventually that stopped happening so to
16:10me that's a transformational
16:12life-changing mindblowing way to think
16:14about life not that death is something
16:15in the future that happens once but that
16:17death is something that's happening
16:18always and every second every minute
16:20that passes every year that passes now
16:23belongs to death it's As Dead As any of
16:25the people in this Cemetery you'll never
16:27get it back which is why you should live
16:29it embrace it and don't waste it while
16:30you have
16:33it every day I send out one stoic
16:36inspired email to hundreds of thousands
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16:49[Music]