Kroniki Akaszy i ukryta wiadomość. Olga Kalicka jakiej nie znacie

0:00It's such immense pain that you're

0:01almost on the verge of death . But at

0:03the same time , you're flooded with such

0:05love . I had throat problems for two

0:08years . I wore blue . I clung to

0:12everything . I remember one morning when

0:16I felt like , damn it , I'm not going to

0:17get out of bed again . I won't get up

0:20today , not today . Nothing makes sense

0:24anymore , that I don't give a damn about

0:26all these therapies anymore , I don't

0:28give a damn about all the

0:29physiotherapists I go to , the

0:30acupuncturists , the healers , the

0:32shamans . I truly believed in angels . I

0:36still do , and I know they're watching

0:38over me . No way .

0:41Hi , I'm Martyna , and this is my podcast

0:43, " Bez Komfortu " ( Without Comfort ) . Hey ,

0:50before we get started , if you can ,

0:52please give me a thumbs up , subscribe ,

0:54and comment . Small gestures like these

0:57help this channel grow , and I can share

0:59more inspiring stories with you . Thank

1:01you . My guest today is Olga Kalicka , an

1:04actress and entrepreneur , mother of two

1:06: seven-year-old Aleksy , who just

1:08started first grade , and one-year-old

1:11Aniela . Hi Olga .

1:12Hi . Um , just a second ago we were

1:17discussing , discussing , what the , uh ,

1:19order of life roles should be . And now

1:25the question is , how are you feeling

1:27most at this moment ? What is your

1:29strongest role at this moment ? You know

1:32what I think ? It seems to me that it

1:34migrates a bit in my life . So it's

1:38clear to me that first I'm always Olga

1:40myself , then most often Olga my partner

1:42, then Olga my mom ,

1:46and only then an actress , right ? But

1:50sometimes there are months , maybe even

1:52short periods , when being an actress

1:54takes center stage , and then I focus on

1:56my work . But it's amazing in my life ,

2:04I'll tell you , that it all works out

2:06this way , that all these links , these

2:08parts of me , are so completely

2:09interconnected , that I am all of these

2:11things simultaneously and

2:12simultaneously . It's just

2:19that I'm here with you today , and I

2:20know this is part of my work . It gives

2:24me immense joy , because before we even

2:26turned on the camera , we'd already

2:28chatted , and it's like — so — it's like

2:30these two parts of me are merging : the

2:32girly one who loves gossip , and the one

2:34who came here to talk a little about

2:36her work , maybe . But at the same time ,

2:39in the back of my mind , I still

2:40remember that it's Alexy's first day of

2:42school today , and I had to take him out

2:44for lunch this morning , and I was

2:45completely clueless about it . We were

2:47supposed to ride bikes , but we ended up

2:49driving anyway , because if we were

2:50going to go on like this , and as we ran

2:52out , Alex said , " Where's my bag , my

2:54shoes , and so on ? " And on the other

2:56hand , I think to myself , Aniela's good ,

2:58she's probably taking a nap right now ,

3:00so it's okay . You know , it's like this :

3:03the mind is so unsettled , there's this

3:06constant self-disorder . You really

3:11know what I think , I think most mothers

3:12are like that . Because you know how to

3:16navigate between one role and another

3:18and a third , if you really want to

3:19perform all those roles . um , in the

3:21best possible way , because obviously we

3:23always want to do them to the best of

3:25our ability . But actually , I'm also

3:28curious , if you were to take off all

3:30those , um , roles , right ? Because you

3:33said , first of all , I'm Olga Kalicka .

3:36So who is Olga Kalicka without , um , if

3:38she's not a mother , if she's not an

3:40actress , if she's not a partner ? Who

3:43are you ? What do you like ? What's your

3:47core ? I think it's like I'm constantly

3:50exploring it , and I'm constantly

3:52learning something new about myself .

3:56And the more challenges arise in my

4:01life , caused by the roles I fulfill ,

4:07the more I learn about myself . For

4:14example , what I already know about

4:16myself is that , on the one hand , we've

4:18both talked about being lions , so

4:19there's that power that lions have

4:21within us —

4:26that intense expression , that need to

4:28express myself , that need to be with

4:30people . I still have it within me , but

4:37what I've learned over the years and

4:39what my surroundings have forced me to

4:40do is to be able to go deep within

4:42myself and feel such tenderness for

4:44myself . And there are moments when I'm

4:54able to , if all these other aspects of

4:56my life are taken care of and I provide

4:58myself with a backup that , you know ,

5:00everything is safe , there are moments

5:02when I'm alone with myself , able to

5:04feel what I want and what is , where I'm

5:14everything in it , without fulfilling

5:16all these roles . But generally , it's

5:23like we're here on Earth to play these

5:24roles , because it's a kind of theater ,

5:26and we're these pawns who have to

5:28fulfill various tasks here . So whenever

5:33I get angry that reality is sometimes

5:35difficult for me or a challenge , I

5:37think to myself : okay , I'm getting up

5:39for this task , because this is my task

5:41for now . Well , it's a bit like The

5:44Truman Show . I have to go back to that

5:51movie , but you know what , you said

5:52something very interesting here : in

5:54this whole theater thing we call life ,

5:56you actually learn to discover yourself

5:58and who you really are through the

5:59challenges you face . I think that's

6:05very interesting and very true and

6:06beautiful . And I'm curious , then , what

6:11situation , I don't know , maybe in the

6:13last year made you learn more about

6:19yourself . You know what , there are a

6:24whole lot of these situations , because

6:27in the last year and a half , basically ,

6:29because Aniela is now 15 , oh , 16 months

6:31old tomorrow , not the day after . So ,

6:35she'll be eighteen months old soon . And

6:39it's always such an interesting time

6:40for a mother . First , there's pregnancy ,

6:45when there's such total focus on

6:47building a person and all other things

6:49fall by the wayside . Then there's that

6:53first year of a child's life , which is

6:55always a huge transformation for a

6:56woman and makes me think , for example ,

6:58that what I learned , I already thought

7:00I was a mother and that nothing would

7:02change . I'd just be a mother of two

7:05children , no way . And suddenly it

7:08turned out that's not the case at all ,

7:09because every child introduces a new

7:11dynamic into your life . It makes me

7:18think , for example , that Alex is a

7:19volcano of energy , a kid who just

7:21walked in here , I don't know how long

7:23all those tripods would be in place ,

7:25because he'd probably be hanging from a

7:27lamp , right ? And he'd be asking 100

7:32questions and everything . Aniela simply

7:40has such a gentleness and such a

7:41sweetness that she completely softened

7:43me and showed me new qualities in

7:45motherhood

7:51and revealed to me completely different

7:53aspects of what motherhood can be , in

7:54connection with what kind of mother I

7:56can also be .

8:00And that's definitely the last year .

8:04You know , those first six months , it's

8:05all about caring for such a little baby

8:07. There's not much verbal contact , but

8:11a lot of that more magical , energetic

8:13connection , like the baby is already

8:15outside your body , and yet you're still

8:17one with it . It's absolutely amazing .

8:22It really is so magical . But overall ,

8:26she sounds like such a gentle and kind

8:28teacher ; it was all so soft , just as

8:30you described it . But you also told me

8:36something before we turned on the

8:38cameras here , about labor : that for you

8:39, giving birth with Aniela was one of

8:41the most beautiful experiences you've

8:43ever had . I was surprised because it

8:50seemed to me that childbirth couldn't

8:52be such a traumatic event . And the

8:55question is , what kind of birth was it

8:57that made you perceive it so magically ?

9:01I'll tell you , it all depends largely

9:03on our attitude and how we frame the

9:10experience with our own thoughts , as it

9:16were , because I've had two births , and

9:18in retrospect , both were exceptional .

9:23What I managed to do with my second

9:25birth was to demystify my thoughts

9:26about the first and realize that it

9:28wasn't as traumatic as I'd thought for

9:29years . Because when I started to

9:34explore labor in general , what it's

9:41like , what phases it has — even from a

9:43medical , physiological perspective —

9:45what phases it has , what you need to do

9:47in each phase , how to help your body

9:49relax . Because I really wanted to give

9:54birth without anesthesia , both the

9:55first and second time , although the

9:57first time , I don't

10:00know , I just wanted to experience it as

10:03it is .

10:04Oh , wow .

10:05Yup , that's how I felt . I'm generally ,

10:09you know , very cautious with medicine

10:11and medications . I always first seek

10:16out all possible — perhaps not

10:17alternative , because that's always a

10:19tricky word — natural methods .

10:22And only when they run out do I open

10:24myself to medicine , because it's there

10:26for a reason , and I completely bow to

10:29it , because sometimes there's just no

10:31other way , and it's great that these

10:33medications exist and you can take them

10:34. But I always decide on all natural

10:37methods first , and I also felt that I

10:39wanted to experience these births very

10:41naturally . And look , when I gave birth

10:44to Alexei , I wasn't completely

10:46conscious yet . M. Well , I still had to

10:50go through this whole path of personal ,

10:52spiritual , I don't know , esoteric ,

10:54energetic , and all that . But it was

11:00Alexei who put me on this path . You see

11:03, it's very interesting , so he was the

11:05first impulse , because he wasn't so

11:07challenging at every stage of his life .

11:10He

11:14was both a man and my beloved little

11:15son , so he was challenging , and he has

11:17so much masculine energy within him

11:19that it's simply amazing . And he made

11:25me simply learn something new about

11:27myself over and over again , with him ,

11:29at every stage , to explore how I felt

11:31about it . I , you know , sought advice

11:36from different people ,

11:40and I still do , and with him , it wasn't

11:42so organic for me , but rather always

11:44such a big challenge , but after all ,

11:46he's still my mirror , right ? And he

11:52often simply showed me things I didn't

11:53want to know about myself , things I

11:55know a little more about today . But

12:01getting back to childbirth , because I

12:03want to finish this thought , it's also

12:05like , it was a difficult experience for

12:06me , I didn't know what to expect either

12:08. Well , I didn't get a doctorate in

12:11that at the time , you know ? I didn't do

12:13this work before giving birth , so I

12:15didn't know , so it all surprised me ,

12:17and I kind of had the attitude that if

12:18every woman has been through this , I

12:20will too . And it turns out that when

12:24you prepare for it to the fullest and

12:25know what's going to happen , what you

12:27can do about it , what the options are ,

12:29and so on , it turns out it doesn't have

12:31to be like that . And with all that

12:39preparation and knowledge , despite the

12:41immense pain , the experience of being

12:43on the verge of life and death . And

12:49what I said in front of the cameras ,

12:51but I want to repeat , is that it's such

12:52immense pain that you're almost on the

12:54verge of death . You think so because

12:59it's such pain , but at the same time ,

13:01you're flooded with such love and the

13:03power of a woman who gives life ,

13:09that it's as if you transform that pain

13:11into this damn love that's

13:12indescribable . It's so immense that you

13:17can't even comprehend it . As we sit now

13:23, it's unfathomable until you feel it ,

13:25how immense it is , and it's as if

13:27you're transforming yourself to bring

13:28life into the world . It's so strange ,

13:36even as I'm talking about it now , but

13:37once you experience it , you'll feel

13:39that it's an experience that no one can

13:47take away from you , and yet it will

13:49always stay with you . And now , every

13:53time I look at my daughter , I think to

13:55myself : " You are part of me , and it's

13:57the same with Alexei . You are a piece

14:01of me , and I felt it in my body

14:06through conscious preparation for it ,

14:08right ? But also as if experiencing it

14:10at every stage , right ? So , it's as if

14:13this natural birth also allowed me to

14:15experience it fully .

14:17If you're still listening to this

14:18conversation and think it's valuable ,

14:20I'd be grateful for a comment and a

14:21thumbs up .

14:22Wow . I mean , it sounds like this , and

14:25really , how do you describe it ? This is

14:29probably the first time I've seen such

14:31a perspective , this almost mystical , um

14:33, of this birth , because it is , because

14:35it is one of the most mystical

14:37experiences of my life . I don't know

14:43how to put it into words , but I think

14:44it's like you talk about your

14:46experiences related to , I don't know ,

14:48meditations , in which you are very

14:49strongly connected to the source . It's

14:55like this , it's similar . But then

14:59there's this physical , this physical

15:00aspect ,

15:03well , you can feel it as if later with

15:05your body , through this ,

15:07you're still constantly on this

15:08borderline , that on the one hand ,

15:12there's no longer a moment in labor

15:14that every midwife knows when , that the

15:16baby will be born soon , because the

15:18woman says she can't cope anymore .

15:21Yes .

15:22Yes . That at some point you give up

15:24because you think to yourself , " I can't

15:25cope anymore . " That it's like , " I'm

15:28just going to die soon and let this

15:30baby be born , but I can't , I can't

15:31anymore . " And that's when , and right

15:35after that , the baby is born ,

15:40because that's just it , that's it ,

15:42that's this magical , mystical border

15:44between life and death ,

15:48when you feel like you're letting go

15:49and giving life . Well , it's , I don't

15:52know , it's just like that ,

15:57Olga , but for me now ... I just feel what

15:59you're saying in my whole body , because

16:01it really reminded me of how , for

16:03example , we really want something in

16:05life , whether it's our goals , our

16:07professional dreams , Whatever it is ,

16:09we're pushing so hard , we just want it

16:11with all our being to make it happen ,

16:13and it's just — there's no way —

16:15there's this resistance all the time .

16:21And very often , it's only when we let

16:23go that this situation suddenly arises .

16:27Literally , like a beautiful , beautiful

16:29analogy , in my opinion .

16:31Yes . And it's the same , and it's like

16:33in childbirth , and you know , it also

16:35applies to m . I was just talking about

16:38the fact that when , I don't know , I had

16:40another theater premiere or some

16:41important project , it was also born .

16:44Mhm . And it's also about sometimes you

16:49have to let go of a lot of things , but

16:50there's that moment when you have to

16:52move forward , that is , push , right ?

16:56To move it forward , because it depends

16:58on you , right ? How a given situation

17:01resolves . So , I think that in general ,

17:08in our lives , it's a bit about having

17:10this method — I think it's probably the

17:12late Professor Łomnicki's , which we

17:13were told about in college . Mhm .

17:20I hope that Now , I'm not lying , but I

17:22think Łomnicki had a rule , excuse me ,

17:24I'll swear , it , let it go , which

17:26was based on building the role , right ,

17:28and the fact that in a given character

17:34there were moments when you had to burn

17:36it out , then let it go , and then burn

17:37it out again a little , and then let it

17:39go . I mean , and in my opinion , it's

17:42like that in life . You have moments

17:44when you have to let it go , and then

17:46you have to push , because otherwise you

17:47won't move forward .

17:48Yes , I absolutely agree with that . But

17:51you know what , in the context of what

17:52you're

17:55saying , it also really reminded me of

17:57the fact that you yourself said that

17:59for years you had a really big period

18:00of stagnation when it came to your

18:02professional sphere in the context of

18:04acting . And you said something like ,

18:09and I quote , I had a lot of work . It

18:14was about this kind of internal work ,

18:16to dig into certain things . And now , in

18:19fact , you have your first leading role

18:24in a movie since the girls from Dubai .

18:26Well , that's a huge success .

18:28Rodzinka.pl is back on screens , and I'm

18:31curious . We'll also talk about your new

18:34film in a moment , because I'm very

18:35intrigued by it . But now I'd like to

18:42ask you what you had to understand and

18:44what you had to change and transform

18:45about yourself for this role to come to

18:47you , for your professional life to take

18:49off . You know what , I think it was

18:59mainly like this , m , that y , when

19:01Aleksy appeared , it was like the first ,

19:03m , the first moment when my old world

19:05collapsed , the one I'd built on the

19:06idea that I was Olga the actress , that

19:08I was fulfilling my dreams since

19:10childhood , that I had a great career ,

19:12that I graduated from my dream

19:14university , that I was on Dancing with

19:16the Stars , that I simply hosted a

19:17mega-show on Polsat , that I was

19:28somewhere very , very , very outside .

19:32Everything in my life was outside , and

19:34nothing was inside . And suddenly a

19:37child appeared , who made it completely

19:39inside , inside , and within me . No ? And

19:43it changed me every day , that I didn't

19:45even know what was happening . No , I

19:47mean , when I understood , okay , I'm

19:49pregnant , but pregnancy isn't an

19:51illness , right ? And that was the first ,

19:56very powerful moment when I had to

19:58reevaluate my life ,

20:01that I was bringing a second life into

20:03the world , for which I was responsible .

20:06So it was like some of my

20:08responsibilities and whims and desires

20:10faded into the background . Was

20:13that difficult for you ?

20:17You know what , probably not entirely ,

20:20because I always wanted children ,

20:24but this all happened quite quickly , so

20:29I think it was harder for me that I had

20:31to adapt to it all quickly , right ? And

20:34that was the first moment . And then

20:37motherhood happened , which happens all

20:39the time and which challenges me very

20:40strongly at various stages and gives me

20:42something like this , that there was

20:44this big moment when I was just a

20:45mother , mainly a mother . And I worked

20:48because I had to work to afford to — I

20:50don't know — provide everything for my

20:52child and I felt it , yes , but on a

20:54basic level . But I had to work , I

20:57couldn't stop , but I was mainly a

20:59mother , and that was tiring , because I

21:01felt like I really wanted to be a

21:02mother , but I didn't want to be just a

21:04mother .

21:07Right ? And I felt like my life wasn't

21:10just about motherhood , right ? Just like

21:13before , it was just about acting , and I

21:15often felt like it wasn't just about

21:17acting ,

21:18right , and like some kind of

21:20professional success , and so on . So I

21:23think that first pregnancy , and Alexy's

21:25family , had a profound effect on me ,

21:27and it completely shook me up . Then

21:31there was the breakup , which I've

21:33already talked about a thousand times ,

21:34so I don't really want to go back to

21:36that , because it's

21:38already been covered , but every breakup

21:40,

21:43whether with a partner or a breakup in

21:45the sense of someone dying , completely

21:50reevaluates your life , right ? And it

21:52also makes you have to meet up with

21:54yourself somewhere , like I did with

21:55that . I have , so who am I if the other

21:57person isn't there , right ? Because that

22:00happens with every breakup . So it's

22:04always a culminating and difficult

22:06moment . And then there was the moment

22:11when I was alone for years , when I had

22:13to face various life experiences and

22:15challenges completely alone , I don't

22:16know , understanding that my mother

22:18isn't sick . Because so what if you're

22:23sick ? You have a small child .

22:25Who cares ? That you have a 40 - degree

22:29fever or that you can't speak , because

22:31I was constantly sick , and I had , for

22:33example , eight weeks of long-term care

22:35and couldn't heal . Do you understand

22:38that ? My body so desperately needed to

22:40tell me to stop for the thousandth time

22:42. No , I get chills when I talk about it

22:45, because these are moments like these ,

22:48because I finally had to realize that

22:50if I take iProm again , it won't do

22:52anything . No , because it's just some

22:55kind of calming agent , and I had to

22:57meet someone . So much with my body ,

23:00what it's saying to me . Then , I don't

23:03know , a code of emotions appeared , yes ,

23:05a book that came to me , and I started

23:06to explore the meaning of all these

23:08psychosomatic things that were

23:10appearing in my body . Now my throat

23:12tightens when I talk about it , because

23:14that was also a moment when I worked a

23:15lot with the throat chakra . The throat

23:18chakra , which is responsible for truth ,

23:21for expressing yourself , for being who

23:23you are , for your creation . I had

23:26throat problems for two years . Why

23:29didn't I have a job ? Because it was all

23:32blocked , right ? I wore blue , damn it ,

23:36for three months , because the throat

23:38chakra is blue , so to strengthen that

23:40throat chakra , I wore blue , you know ? I

23:46tried everything , all sorts of methods ,

23:48exploring it from the medical

23:49perspective , but above all , because I

23:51went to an immunologist , sir , I've been

23:53sick for eight weeks . He says , " Well ,

23:57but the tests don't show anything here .

24:00" " You know , all these tests are okay .

24:05I already knew it wasn't about my tests

24:07and it wasn't really about , you know ,

24:09something , damn , anything . No , I

24:12searched because I wanted to find

24:14something , but there was nothing there .

24:16Jesus , Olga , when you talk about it ,

24:18tears came to my eyes , because what

24:24you're saying , I think it can really

24:26touch a lot of people , because what the

24:28body does often , in my opinion , when we

24:30are in such a disconnected state , in a

24:32constant rush and so on , well , these

24:34are diseases . For example , I also had a

24:39situation where I was sick very often ,

24:41and it was just like , I don't know ,

24:43colds , flu , just constantly from one to

24:45the next . And I'm also very curious in

24:51this context that , okay , so you started

24:53looking , so you go to an immunologist ,

24:55he tells you everything is fine , you

24:57start wearing blue , you start , you know

24:59, trying various methods . What was one

25:05such The thing you caught , and you just

25:11felt yourself starting to breathe

25:13deeply and that you were starting to

25:14open up here , that your voice was

25:16coming back . You

25:22know what , I think that at that stage I

25:25became very close with my friend

25:26Marysia , who practices Ayurveda , and I

25:29think , and I also had Michelle around

25:31me , who practiced medicine , Chinese

25:33acupuncture , and so on . And I think

25:39that's where it all started . So , I

25:41first focused on how to heal my body ,

25:43but without taking more medications ,

25:45that is , from the natural side . And

25:50then a lot more followed , because

25:52there's Chinese medicine , you know , one

25:54organ affects another , and so on . It's

25:57the same in Ayurveda . I started , I

26:01stuck to a pattern , for example , an

26:03Ayurvedic morning , like rinsing my nose

26:05with a neti cup , drinking hot water ,

26:07then turmeric mustache , ear candling ,

26:16and everything else , because those were

26:17the moments that made me I was stuck in

26:19some kind of frame . I really needed

26:25that at that moment , to have some kind

26:26of ritual that would make me feel safe ,

26:28that would do me good . And that's where

26:32it all started . It was like I was

26:33always close to yoga , but at that time ,

26:36for example , Maria was also leading

26:38these yoga meditations , the ancient

26:39ones .

26:41My friend Marysia .

26:43Yes . And Marysia always says that when

26:46she went to India , she learned yoga in

26:48a village where she was the only white

26:50person and the first one they had ever

26:51seen there , right ? So she brought back

26:56this kind of ancient yoga , which

26:57focused very much on working with the

26:59chakras , well , not on the breath of

27:01fire . And I also did a lot of breathing

27:10exercises constantly , these various

27:12Ayurvedic rituals that made me feel

27:14safe , because it was something I had

27:16control over , and I didn't have control

27:18over many things back then . And I'm

27:25also the type of person who likes to be

27:26in control , right ? I like it when

27:28things are So I know everything , what's

27:30going on more or less where , right ? So

27:33I focused on little things that made me

27:35feel like I had it . So I think that's

27:41it , but Agnieszka Maciąg's book

27:42definitely helped me a lot .

27:45Oh my , we're on the same path . I know ,

27:49that's why I don't , it was the book

27:51Your Inner Power ,

27:55which completely awakened my inner

27:57power , which made me start to

28:03understand that what I was feeling was

28:05okay , that various intuitive things

28:07were coming to me — because , you know ,

28:09I was also very religious from

28:10childhood , right , and I was raised in

28:12the Catholic faith — and it was like I

28:14also believed very strongly in angels ,

28:16I still believe in them and I know they

28:18watch over me . Well , no , but it was

28:21also like I had somewhere that I wasn't

28:23completely on track with the teachings

28:25of the Church anymore , and it was a bit

28:27like Agnieszka connected exactly what I

28:34needed , that it exists , what I believe

28:36exists , but there's something more , and

28:38that it's like it's mine . My attitude

28:41and this path of mine , somewhat

28:43energetic , started with that . I'll tell

28:45you more . Damn , I don't know if I'm

28:47revealing any secrets , but when we

28:54moved into our new house , it turned out

28:56— and this was after Agnieszka's death

28:57— that my neighbor was her son .

29:03Really ?

29:05And recently , I received an email

29:06because I was in her Facebook group , so

29:08was I. And I

29:11received an email with a webinar she

29:13used to do , which he's now resending .

29:16And I came out and said , " Hey , you sent

29:18me an email . " And he said , " What do you

29:21mean ? Are you in that group ? " " I say , '

29:23Yeah , so look what it's like . ' And I've

29:27never met Agnieszka , but today , as I'm

29:29sitting here , I think it all started

29:31with her , and I think it's a good book .

29:35I don't know where you can even find it

29:37now , because they're not so easily

29:38accessible anymore , but I think this

29:40book is good , a good start for people

29:42who feel like they're in a similar

29:43situation to us , but don't know where

29:45they are or where to start . Because if

29:49we told them today , ' Take Dispenza . ' No

29:51, I think so , well , damn ,

29:53I told you that before we turned on the

29:54camera . I really admire you for being

29:56able to handle it all . Besides , before

29:58I got pregnant with my second child , my

29:59partner and I had this idea that we

30:01would go to a workshop on Dispenza and

30:03Moments and we started Googling the

30:04dates , and a moment later we found out

30:06I was pregnant , and it was like , there

30:08was absolutely no time for it , so we'll

30:09definitely come back to it . But we have

30:12these books at home , and my partner

30:13went through them , and there's a lot

30:15And for me , for example , I find them

30:17very difficult . I get stuck somewhere

30:20halfway through and I can't get it . For

30:23me , it's very complicated , although

30:25it's actually simple , right ? I mean ,

30:28yes , I think that what's complicated

30:30there is the Polish translation is very

30:32difficult and very angular , which makes

30:34it much easier for me to listen to and

30:36read in English . Much easier , really .

30:39So when it comes to dispenza , I think

30:41you're absolutely not the only one . And

30:43I think a lot of people have this

30:45problem , that sometimes , in general ,

30:47when you read one sentence from this

30:48book , you have this feeling that , ' Jeez

30:50, I have to concentrate so hard to even

30:52understand what's written there . ' And I

30:54remember reading this book , at one

30:56point I started to wonder , and I said ,

30:58' I don't know if I'm some kind of , I

31:00don't know , I don't get it , or if I

31:01have some kind of difficulty , you know ,

31:03with logical understanding , or if it's

31:05just how it is . ' "

31:06I immediately had the thought , aha , so

31:08this is reading comprehension , which I

31:10didn't grasp in high school . Yes ,

31:12that's that moment during my final

31:13exams . Am I understanding it , right ?

31:15Yes , definitely . So , do you remember

31:18the moment when you worked through all

31:26these different programs you had inside

31:28you and felt it click , and suddenly an

31:30offer came , a casting call , an

31:32invitation ? I think I think there were

31:38a few moments like that , a flash of

31:45light , let's say , no , but I definitely

31:47had a few of these group meditations ,

31:49some kind of ceremonies of various

31:51kinds , which made me feel that when I

32:00entered such deep meditations , I simply

32:02felt that , for example , I was leaving

32:04with the intention of , oh , that I

32:06wanted to receive some signs when I was

32:08finally on this path , and so on . And

32:11something kept coming to me like ,

32:12you've been on this path for a long

32:14time , start taking action , right ? That

32:15I had something like that . Or , for

32:18example , with this voice , that I had

32:19been struggling with this throat chakra

32:21for a really long time , and suddenly a

32:23musical came to me to do . At the

32:26Kwadrat Theatre . Interesting , by the

32:30way , because it was " Sisters " — a play

32:32about nuns , and there were a lot of

32:34different themes , related to angels , to

32:41some kind of connection with the

32:42mountain , right ? And at the same time ,

32:48opening the throat chakra and singing ,

32:50which I've always had , since childhood ,

32:51I loved singing and did it , but it was

32:53always marked by some kind of great

32:55stress . So it really opened up , so I

33:01think this play , even though it was

33:03just a play , was also a kind of bridge

33:05for me , because I entered it with the

33:07intention that from now on , it would

33:09all move forward , right ? That I

33:14wouldn't stop anymore .

33:15I even wrote it down because that's how

33:16I wanted to start , speaking about these

33:18sisters .

33:18Yes ,

33:19yes , because I know you set the

33:21intention for yourself before this play

33:22: for your voice to open , for your

33:24throat chakra to simply

33:27open enough to be able to speak your

33:29truth .

33:30Exactly , that's exactly how it was . And

33:32somewhere , that performance was a kind

33:34of bridge for me . Besides , it was also

33:36a performance . During rehearsals , I met

33:38my partner . Well , during those

33:43rehearsals , I also participated in

33:45various group ceremonies , which gave me

33:47, um , well , confirmation that I was in

33:49a good place . I remember having

33:55interesting experiences , uh , having

33:57Akashic Records readings . These are the

34:01kinds of things I can probably only

34:03share on your podcast , because normally

34:05there's no space for discussing such

34:06things , but with you , you know , I

34:08absolutely love you all . On

34:10Friday , I have a guest from the

34:12chronicles , I'll be talking about the

34:14kasha chronicles . And that was

34:17interesting , because once I went

34:18through that , you know , meditation and

34:20natural medicine , and at the same time ,

34:23kind of psychology , in the sense of

34:25therapy — my kind of conventional

34:26therapy , you know , which I went to

34:28every Monday at 3:00 PM and so on —

34:30well , I was also , well , searching . I've

34:34always been drawn to these alternative ,

34:36interesting , different magical methods ,

34:38specifically astrology . So I went for

34:42an Akashic Records reading , and I

34:44remember asking this very question : " I

34:46think I'm ready to meet someone . " It

34:48was , you know , after about two years . I

34:51said , " I think I'm ready to meet

34:52someone . " Or will it happen anytime

34:55soon ? And then this girl told me that

35:01this person is already there , but I

35:02don't see him yet , because I still need

35:04to raise my vibration to see him . And

35:11now I had this experience : I've just

35:13started doing meditations specifically

35:15for opening my heart . I also meditated

35:18a lot on the " Loving Heart " with

35:19Klaudia Pingot , right ? The kind that

35:22really raises vibrations .

35:25And she said it , and I was a little

35:26confused about what she meant , that

35:28he's there , but I don't see him . You

35:30know what happened a few weeks later ?

35:34Something tempted me to dig through my

35:36other Instagram messages in that , you

35:38know , hidden folder ,

35:42and there was this message from him

35:44that he'd written a few weeks earlier ,

35:46which I hadn't seen because it was in a

35:48pile of hundreds of messages from all

35:49sorts of weird people , or not weird at

35:51all , right ? I just didn't use that

35:56filter at all , and suddenly , during the

35:58sisters , not between rehearsals , we had

36:01a break . I was sitting there , saying , "

36:03Let me go in and see what's there . " And

36:06there it was , you know , there are these

36:08little windows , right ?

36:10And you only see a fragment of

36:12someone's face ,

36:13and I saw this window , I mean , this

36:15circle , and I looked , and I thought , "

36:17Oh , I know this guy . " I clicked , I

36:21looked , I don't know him , but damn , I

36:23know him , I know him , and I know him

36:25very well , right ? And I just remember

36:32it like it was yesterday , that I was

36:33just flooded with this torrent , like ,

36:35it gave me chills , oh

36:39no . And I thought , this is

36:44really him .

36:45And he wrote me some incredibly strange

36:47message . But wait , just to be clear ,

36:50you two have never met before ?

36:51No , we haven't . I'll tell you , we

36:54didn't have any mutual friends ,

36:56nothing like that .

36:58So you just saw this one circle among

37:00hundreds of messages in the " others "

37:02folder ,

37:04and I clicked it .

37:06I know , it's there , you know ? These are

37:09stories people tell , and it's kind of

37:11mine . And then there was him , he wrote

37:15this message so strangely that he saw a

37:17huge , like , huge change in me , and he

37:19doesn't know how I did it , but I did it

37:21well , and he liked it , and he decided

37:23to write it to me because he has this

37:25project now , where he writes nice

37:27things to people , right ? I mean , it was

37:30kind of — you know , it was strange to

37:32me too , because it could have been

37:33taken completely for granted , that it

37:35was incredibly creepy , that a guy would

37:36write something like that , and who

37:38knows , no . But on the other hand , I

37:40looked at that photo and I said , " This

37:42is my person . "

37:42And what did you reply to that ?

37:45We started talking about Dispenza then ,

37:46because I remember when I read it ,

37:48because I was in the middle of reading

37:50Dispenza , and I was writing to him , I

37:52think I posted something on Stories ,

37:53and he commented that I was reading

37:55this book . I said yes , and I texted him

37:57that I couldn't get through it at all .

37:58So we started talking about it ,

38:00generally about therapy . He told me he

38:02was a Buddhist , that he meditated a lot

38:04. So that's what we mostly talked about

38:08, and it was like we had a lot of

38:10topics like personal development , right

38:12? I was like , " Oh , damn , he's done

38:16therapy , but it's awesome , right ? " I'm

38:19done therapy , he's done therapy , that's

38:21already a lot , that this is some kind

38:23of starting point , right ? Yeah ,

38:28and it was great , and we wrote for a

38:29long time , because he was on a long

38:31journey , and I think he traveled for

38:33about a month and a half . Y and I said ,

38:36" Okay , well , that first coffee was so

38:39eagerly anticipated ,

38:41right ? " And then it was like , when I

38:45saw him at that first coffee , I was

38:47sitting there thinking , " I don't know ,

38:49I don't know , and on the other hand ,

38:50you're going to be the father of my

38:52child , but I really don't know , right ? "

38:56And it was such a strange feeling , this

38:58thought that we were going to have a

39:00child together , when I had absolutely

39:01no plans to have any more children ,

39:03right ? Like , and at the same time , I

39:06was 100 % sure it was him , and on the

39:08other hand , I wasn't , and I had this

39:11feeling , it really will be you . Super

39:14weird . Then , probably on the second or

39:19third date , he started telling me some

39:21story about being with friends , about

39:23attending a wedding abroad , and he was

39:25telling me about him , and he was

39:27telling me about this couple , and I was

39:29like , damn , I know these couples . And

39:35it turned out that my best friend ,

39:37Marysia , has a friend , and that's the

39:38girl my partner was talking about at

39:40the wedding . Oh , wow .

39:44And I said to her , " Listen , we have to

39:46check this . You have to check who this

39:49guy is , right ? " And from that

39:51perspective , I checked to make sure

39:53everything was okay , that he wasn't

39:55some internet creep . Because , you know ,

39:57it's difficult these days . There are so

40:01many people , and I'm sure you also have

40:02thousands of different messages in your

40:04folder from very different people who

40:06don't know exactly what they want from

40:07you .

40:08That's why I was surprised that I

40:10clicked on his message . Because you

40:11clicked , because I know how much you

40:13know , I can have different messages in

40:15this folder , and it's impossible to

40:16read . I think I had this kind of check

40:19inside me : is

40:22this really

40:23safe ? Because I didn't have any

40:26experience with him , there was no one

40:28who knew what he was talking about , and

40:30how did I figure it out and get the

40:31answer that yes , he's okay , that

40:33everything is okay with him , that he's

40:35a great guy . Wow , what a relief . And

40:41suddenly , from that moment on ,

40:43everything flowed so smoothly , and I

40:44feel like I made a quantum leap , too ,

40:46because when I let go in this

40:48relationship and we started building it

40:50together , I saw that you can create a

40:52completely honest relationship with

40:53another person , where they still

40:55challenge me completely sometimes ,

40:57because I was always , you know , a lion ,

40:59right ? So if I'm like this here , like

41:04this there , it's not like that , it's

41:06like this . And he says to me , " Honey ,

41:08this is probably not the way we choose

41:10to communicate in our relationship . "

41:11Right ? And with his calm , stoic , Libra

41:15attitude , he sits there and says

41:17something to me . I feel like , " How can

41:19that be ? " And I feel like saying , "

41:21What's that ? " And it's like a challenge

41:25, and I think it's another quantum leap

41:27, when you connect with another person

41:28and they simply challenge you , and you

41:34have to move forward together . If

41:35you're thinking about someone while

41:37listening to this conversation , it's

41:39not a coincidence . Send them this

41:40episode . That's what interests me ,

41:43because I'm looking at two people who

41:49simply found each other in some totally

41:50twisted and strange way that

41:52theoretically had no right to happen .

41:57And I wonder what this relationship

41:59means to you , what has it taught you ?

42:05You know what , this is definitely the

42:11first time I've been in a relationship

42:13where I'm able to not immediately

42:14respond to , for example , I don't know ,

42:16an invitation , but just say , " Wait ,

42:18I'll arrange things with my partner

42:20first and let you know . " It's so much

42:27that suddenly we're , in a sense , one ,

42:29even though each of us has a lot of

42:31freedom . I mean , we both went through a

42:37long journey before we met . M. And it's

42:42like this : I remember drawing it out to

42:44myself before I met him . I had my own ,

42:47you know , notebook , all sorts of things

42:49, of course , I wrote down what my

42:51partner should be like — it all worked

42:53out . But I remember drawing it out to

42:55myself , right ? That this is my

42:56collection , this is his collection , and

42:58this is our collection , right ? That

43:02each of us in this relationship must

43:04have the freedom to be who we are , to

43:06accept each other , but we have a lot in

43:07common ,

43:12and I'm still learning about that ,

43:14because we're also very different in

43:15many ways , very , very different indeed .

43:19He , I am , he says I'm exalted , that I'm

43:22outspoken , not all my emotions . If I'm

43:25dissatisfied with something , well , damn

43:27, it's immediately obvious , isn't it ?

43:29When I'm happy , I'm just overjoyed . Oh

43:33God , no ,

43:34Leo ,

43:35not like that . And he's not like that .

43:38I have to drag him out . But you're

43:40happy , but you're really happy . Did you

43:42just say you're happy , but it's really

43:44about your body and so on , no . So

43:47there's a lot about trusting that what

43:53he says is true , not what I think he

43:55thinks . Oh Jesus , that's very , very

43:59profound . And

44:02very often he says to me , " See , now

44:04you've drawn your own conclusions about

44:06what I think , even though I didn't say

44:08it at all and it's not true , right ? " So

44:13he's teaching me not to think for him ,

44:15what he thinks . On the other hand , I

44:23see it too , but I'm getting chills now

44:25because I want to say this : that we're

44:27amazing parents together , that we've

44:29found a huge amount of fulfillment and

44:31joy in raising children in this , that

44:33we're ultra-compatible on this . He also

44:42has this approach to parenting , with

44:44this incredibly open mind , that the

44:45child should experience a lot . You know

44:49, for example , there's this father who ,

44:51when Aniela was just starting to walk ,

44:53and I , you know , I kept checking on her

44:55so she wouldn't fall off the couch ,

44:56right ? And he says , " Wait . " And he'd

45:01let her fall a little , holding her ,

45:02showing her how to get off the couch . I

45:05said , " She can't walk yet . Why are you

45:07teaching her that ? It doesn't make

45:08sense . It hasn't been two weeks . Aniela

45:10was the first child the physiotherapist

45:12there has seen . My friend says she's

45:14never seen a child like her who can't

45:15walk , who doesn't fall off the couch ,

45:17she just climbs down it . She couldn't

45:19walk yet , but she could get off the

45:20couch without falling , no . I was like ,

45:23damn , okay , I'll back off a bit , I'll

45:25see how he approaches it , because I

45:27already had some visions about it , you

45:29know , some habits of mine after the

45:31first child and so on . And he went into

45:34it all with such an open mind , which I

45:36love about him . Because he has this way

45:39of having to experience everything

45:42and test everything , and it's so

45:44annoying sometimes .

45:46I know ,

45:47and it's so frustrating because I think

45:49, why are you testing this ? I tell you

45:51that's the way it is . I say , but I have

45:53to test it empirically , I have to

45:55approach it empirically . I have to then

46:00like this : when I hear from him

46:02empirically , it makes my blood boil

46:04sometimes , but then I think : okay , wait

46:06, because he often has a much fresher

46:08perspective on many issues , and we

46:09learn a lot from him , and that also

46:11makes us have such great power together

46:13in this , in this joint action , you know

46:15.

46:19Gosh , how cool is it , what you're

46:21saying . You know , it's cool for me for

46:25several reasons . Firstly , because I

46:28have exactly the same relationship

46:30dynamic . I mean , I'm you , and my

46:33partner is a real person . Um , but the

46:38second thing is that , you know , uh , uh ,

46:41it seems to me that , uh , for a long

46:42time I grew up thinking that my ideal

46:44partner should be someone who is just

46:46like me , that he is the perfect match

46:48for me precisely when we are the same .

46:53And now , looking back , of course , it

46:56seems to me that different things work

46:58for everyone , and so on , but this

47:02learning from another person is

47:04different . approach — as you were

47:07talking about , how he was kind of

47:09making Aniela fall off the couch — well

47:11, that's exactly what Marcel would do .

47:14I mean , write it all down , paint it all

47:16over , 100 % . And I think it can so

47:23enrich your worldview and who you are ,

47:25that you learn that not only your truth

47:27is true , but also the other person's

47:33completely . Yes . I also remember that

47:36at the beginning ,

47:36and I'll only finish this , that I also

47:38think it translates into other

47:39relationships and my approach to other

47:41people

47:42completely . Yes . I also remember that

47:45at the beginning , my partner questioned

47:47my very strong attachment to my work .

47:51And I , at the stage of building a

47:53relationship with him , kept asking

47:55myself : who am I if I'm not an actress ?

47:59Who am I if I'm not Alex's mother ? Who

48:03is my partner's partner , right ? And

48:08also that he constantly shows me —

48:10because he has a very normal job , he

48:12doesn't work on YouTube , so generally ,

48:14he's not from the artistic field — and

48:16he often gives me so much . To

48:22understand that my work ethic is that ,

48:24well , actors in drama schools are also

48:26somewhat raised on the principle that

48:28an actor saves the world , not just when

48:30they play a role and so on . But the

48:34truth is , it's work , work is work . And

48:37he also taught me that , well , it's

48:43still just my job , it's a big part of

48:45me , but he also showed me that I have

48:47it a little differently than he does ,

48:49because my work is extremely important

48:51to me and allows me to fulfill myself

48:53and is a very big and important part of

48:55me . And thanks to him , I allowed it , I

49:03checked it , and I know it's true . So , I

49:05had it since I was a child ,

49:07and it was very much mine , but as if it

49:09were mine , because it was mine and

49:11that's it . I didn't know why .

49:13So you didn't even ask yourself

49:14questions , I just

49:15wanted to do it since I was a child and

49:17I did it since I was a child .

49:18But he asked me such questions . But I

49:21wonder if if you weren't doing it , what

49:22would you be doing ? No , maybe it would

49:24give you even more joy , or maybe So you

49:26don't burn out like that ? Because

49:29acting is also very energy-draining ,

49:31isn't it ? And it's working on emotions

49:34non-stop .

49:35Yes .

49:39So it's very exhausting work , and he

49:40often explored it and made me realize

49:42that this is completely my destiny for

49:44this incarnation . Here we can post our

49:53insays — that , um , that I , um , if I

49:55want , I really feel like I should be a

50:03kind of guide for people , but not in

50:04such an obvious way . Because I

50:09absolutely don't feel like an expert to

50:10sit and tell people how to live , but

50:12for example , I feel like I can inspire

50:14them to do something by taking on

50:16different roles .

50:22I have something like that within me ,

50:24and I know that this is very much my

50:25path and that this is very much one of

50:27the tasks I have to handle here ,

50:30that is , your life mission . It's

50:32my mission .

50:33Okay , then I'm very curious what

50:39mission you fulfilled in your latest

50:41role . Olga in the film " Make It Sense ?

50:44" Because I'll just say that I watched

50:46it , unfortunately I haven't had a

50:48chance to watch the whole film yet , but

50:49I've watched the trailers and I have a

50:51very strong impression that this is a

50:52completely different role . This is a

50:54completely different role . This is a

50:56completely different role . This is a

50:58completely different role . This is a

51:00direct connection to the previous one ,

51:01but it's directly related . Thanks to

51:07having such a partner , I managed to

51:09create health and safety at work , which

51:11allowed me to create a role that is

51:13completely different from my own , and

51:15at the same time , emerge unscathed .

51:19Wow .

51:21And that relationship is one thing , two

51:23things . I approached it professionally

51:28to the fullest because I won the

51:29casting two years earlier , when I

51:31didn't even know I was having a second

51:32child . I found out we were making this

51:39film , that we managed to find the money

51:41and so on , financing for this film , the

51:43moment I found out I was pregnant , it

51:45was all within a week , and I thought to

51:47myself , " Aha , cool . " So I started it

51:50quickly . I had to count on Aniela being

51:526 months old if she was born on time ,

51:54that she would be 6 months old if I

51:56were to come on set . And then what ?

52:02Then I had some very serious

52:03conversations with my partner , who told

52:05me : " Okay , but we have to think about

52:07how your separation from the baby will

52:09affect her future relationship building

52:11and the attachment style she'll develop

52:13at 6 months old . " Which completely

52:20devastated me , because I thought to

52:22myself : he doesn't want me to make this

52:24film , he wants to block me , and I'm a

52:26mother , but I'm also ... You know , it

52:28triggered a series of enormous fears

52:30that I had to deal with . So I did

52:37everything and absolutely did

52:38everything to combine my role as a

52:40mother , which was very strong at that

52:42time because I was still breastfeeding ,

52:44and that was extremely important to me ,

52:46and I really wanted to breastfeed , and

52:48at the same time , Aniela really didn't

52:49want to take a bottle or anything else

52:55and was very attached to me . At the

52:59same time , I really wanted to do this

53:00film because I knew , firstly , that this

53:03was a role completely for me , and I

53:04felt it deeply . Secondly , I knew it was

53:08a role I'd never played before , and

53:10it's rare for an actress to get a

53:11chance to play something that doesn't

53:13suit her physical abilities and isn't ,

53:15like , as they say in this industry ,

53:17someone is cast on terms . So , if I'm

53:21sweet and beautiful , then I'll play

53:23sweet and beautiful , you know ? And in

53:27this film , I'm ugly , vulgar , unstable ;

53:36everything is simply contrary

53:39to my physical abilities , isn't it ? So

53:42I knew it would be a huge opportunity

53:44and a great chance for me . And I knew I

53:48could play it well , but at the same

53:50time , I knew that what I was building

53:55with my child during the breastfeeding

53:57stage was extremely important for her

53:59entire life . Because , at the same time ,

54:04looking at it from an energetic

54:05perspective , breastfeeding isn't just

54:07about giving food to your child , but

54:09also about the energy and the energy

54:10flow that you give to your child . You

54:14and your child are in a kind of

54:16constant symbiosis , right ? So how do

54:20you get into extreme emotions ,

54:22ultra-aggressiveness , because this

54:24character was incredibly aggressive ,

54:26vulgar , constantly pissed off , and not

54:32convey it during breaks ? Because Aniele

54:35was with me in the camper on set for 12

54:37hours with a nanny , so that whenever I

54:39had a break , I could go and feed her ,

54:41cuddle her , soothe her , whisper to her ,

54:44and everything . How do you do that

54:49while constantly clicking through and

54:51not selling her this energy , this

54:52character , right ?

54:55Mmm .

54:56By breastfeeding . Oh my God , Olga , I

54:58hadn't even thought of that , but now

55:00that you say it , it seems so absolutely

55:02logical . How did you do it ?

55:05I found Anna Skorupa , and she was a

55:07godsend for me too . The woman who

55:10prepares actors for the rohms .

55:14Eh , but it turns out she's just like us

55:16,

55:19a little crazy .

55:20Yes . And after the first phone call

55:22with her , even though I knew we had

55:23very little time , I knew she was

55:25totally available , that getting through

55:27to her would be a miracle , that she

55:28would even take anyone on board ,

55:30because she was simply extremely busy .

55:32Um , she's an acting coach , but when I

55:34heard in the first conversation that

55:36she was a mother , I asked her directly

55:38if she was a mother , and she said yes ,

55:40and I told her : " Listen , I'm a mother

55:42too . My baby is six months old , I

55:44really want to play this role . Help me ,

55:47how can I do this so that I can switch

55:49from one to the other and not ... sell

55:50out ? You know , it happened in the first

55:54conversation , and such energy just

55:56flowed between us , and she also guided

55:58me through it . M tried it with me at

56:04the stage , like , preparing ...

56:06preparations for the film E , and she

56:10was in constant contact with me . And

56:15sometimes there was also , for example ,

56:17a scene in which my character Y lost ...

56:19that she loses her father during the

56:21film , it was an extremely difficult

56:23scene for me and very , very powerful ,

56:25so energetic . And I remember that I had

56:34just come off the set and I knew I had

56:36to go feed Aniela immediately , and I

56:38said , I call her , and she just

56:40immediately started doing exercises for

56:42me , strictly based on experience , like

56:44in Meditation , to return to my body .

56:48Well , it's all a bit about me lending

56:54my body to some entity ,

56:59like my character , right ?

57:06So I bring it into my body , consciously

57:08lending my body so it can express

57:09itself , but then I have to take it out

57:11of myself , because otherwise , it stays

57:13with me .

57:18Mhm . And when I understood this on an

57:22energetic level , it was a game changer

57:24for me . And I'm no longer afraid of

57:27roles . I know now that I can simply

57:30play anything , because I already know

57:32how to do it . I have this feeling that

57:37now , as you're telling me this whole

57:39story and looking at it from this

57:41perspective , it's as if all this had to

57:43happen , that you had to , as it were ,

57:45start developing spiritually , somehow

57:47energetically , to reach , let's say ,

57:49this woman , because you gave birth to a

57:51child , and because , look , if you hadn't

57:53given birth , you might have actually

57:55simply taken on this role .

57:59But of course , yes . I would have

58:01approached her the same way I

58:02approached casting .

58:04And then she would probably have been

58:06completely different . And you know what

58:08I mean .

58:08Right . And now , look , you say that now ,

58:13after this contact with Ms. Anna , you

58:15feel you can play any role , that you

58:17simply have this courage to fulfill

58:19your mission .

58:23Absolutely . Absolutely . And I'll tell

58:27you more , I just met , and during the

58:29making of this film , I met this

58:31interesting man who is now retired . Mr.

58:35Marek , who is a bioenergotherapist , a

58:37radio aesthete , you know , he works with

58:40a pendulum , white energy therapy , and

58:42so on . And he said something like this .

58:45And you , as you know , it was a casual

58:47conversation . I met him by the way , you

58:49know , he says something like this .

58:52Because as an actor , you have this

58:53great opportunity to have several

58:55incarnations in one incarnation . And I

59:03was right then in the middle of

59:04preparing for this film , where I

59:06realized that I I lend my body to

59:07various experiences that are partly

59:09mine , because I have to force them

59:10through my body .

59:13I have to find something for myself ,

59:15too , no ,

59:16but they're not entirely mine . And it

59:20all came together for me . It's

59:22incredible . It really is a story . Wow .

59:28It's very interesting , and today I feel

59:30incredibly brave telling you about it .

59:34Because it's also like , you know , I

59:36don't know which journalist I could

59:37tell something like this to when

59:39talking about a film . You know ,

59:43I actually wrote down one question : I'd

59:45like you to tell me something about

59:46this role that you haven't said

59:48anywhere else , so I guess I don't have

59:50to ask that question anymore .

59:52Yes .

59:53Well , no , it's a beautiful perspective .

59:56Thank you so much for sharing it ,

59:58because I also realize that these are

1:00:00very intimate things and very , very

1:00:02yours . And I really like that you show

1:00:11a completely different side , an

1:00:13Olga that nobody knows , I have the

1:00:15impression that's

1:00:16completely true . The funniest thing

1:00:20about this The whole point is that I

1:00:22thought exactly that , and we got an

1:00:23internal link to watch the film before

1:00:25the premiere , so I could replay it and

1:00:27see how they edited it all , how it

1:00:28turned out in the end ,

1:00:31and what you felt . And yes , I think

1:00:34it's good . I think this film gives a

1:00:37lot of hope . I think it touches on very

1:00:40important topics , like the

1:00:42neurodiversity of my character , because

1:00:44that's also a big part of it , like her

1:00:46being neurodivergent , having extreme

1:00:48ADHD . I also have someone like that in

1:00:53my immediate circle , so this topic is

1:00:55kind of close to me . It's true , I don't

1:01:05have these disorders , but I had to

1:01:06explore them for years , and thanks to

1:01:08that , now , getting into this character ,

1:01:10I also experienced how neurodivergent

1:01:12people experience it . I mean , I tried ,

1:01:17well , not to explore all of this , so

1:01:19that was also very interesting . At the

1:01:22same time , on the other side was

1:01:24Jędrzej , who played a man with deep

1:01:25depression . So , this film may be

1:01:33comedic , but at the same time , it deals

1:01:35with very serious topics , bordering on

1:01:37these . And that's what makes it not

1:01:44just a comedy , but a film that has a

1:01:48certain weight to it . And I'm very

1:01:52happy about that , and I think that in

1:01:54the end , this film really gives a lot

1:01:56of hope . But I wanted to say that when

1:02:00we watched it together with my partner ,

1:02:01he's sitting there and I'm thinking to

1:02:03myself , he's about to tell me , wow ,

1:02:05he's never seen me like that , and he

1:02:07says , " Well , you're basically just

1:02:09before your period . " So I say to him , "

1:02:13What , how could you ? " No. And that's

1:02:16also the essence of him , that he treats

1:02:23it all so lightly , right ? That we're

1:02:26talking here about how I've done big

1:02:28things , that I've survived , that this

1:02:30is such a role and everything . And at

1:02:32home I have , and at home I just have my

1:02:35partner , who is so easy going . He says

1:02:38to me , " Oh , cool , cool movie , fun to

1:02:40watch , cool . " What's

1:02:43your love language ? Actually , I think

1:02:47it's changing now , because I always

1:02:49thought that practical help , and I

1:02:51remember that when I met my partner , so

1:02:53I say , you know , because my love

1:02:55language is practical help , and now I'm

1:02:57telling him again , " You're not telling

1:02:59me you love me , you love me . "

1:03:01Honey , but you told me your love

1:03:03language is practical help . Look , I did

1:03:05the shopping , I unloaded the dishwasher

1:03:07, something , and something starts to

1:03:09come back to me . I'm like , okay , that's

1:03:15why I asked , because I think Leos like

1:03:17to have words of affirmation like that ,

1:03:19too , like , " You did great , " " You're

1:03:21brilliant , " and so on , " reinforcement , "

1:03:23it's such a nice word . But you know

1:03:27what , I also remember that at the

1:03:29beginning of our relationship , I was

1:03:30saying that I really didn't want empty

1:03:32words ,

1:03:34because I'd experienced that many times

1:03:36, and that once I was together so

1:03:38deeply , I didn't really need those

1:03:43words of reassurance . I need action . I

1:03:48need to know that the other person

1:03:49cares about me and takes me seriously

1:03:51and wants to build a life with me . And

1:03:56then I kind of love that caressing , but

1:03:58I think I also get a lot of that at

1:03:59work afterward . It's just that this

1:04:03industry is like this , that I can kind

1:04:05of get some support here , no , no . And

1:04:12at home , despite everything , I might

1:04:14need it on the surface , but underneath

1:04:16it all , we have a safe relationship ,

1:04:18even a bit boring — as Piotr Mosak puts

1:04:20it , because my partner unfortunately

1:04:22often speaks his language , even though

1:04:24we don't know each other — it's like we

1:04:26have a lot of boredom in this

1:04:27relationship , which makes me feel safe

1:04:29in it .

1:04:35But I think it's also worth it — I say

1:04:37this to myself too — that it's worth

1:04:39looking at relationships from this

1:04:40perspective : if there's such good

1:04:42boredom , if there's such peace , then

1:04:44there's nothing wrong with it . Because

1:04:48I think that we , too , in this world ,

1:04:50you know , oh , I don't know , about ,

1:04:56let's say , showbiz , yeah , and

1:04:58everything around us , we're a bit used

1:05:00to such extreme emotions , and no , and

1:05:02for example ...

1:05:05I feel , because we're constantly

1:05:07discussing this topic , no , that my

1:05:08partner is telling me exactly that , you

1:05:10see , and you Now you're looking for the

1:05:12extreme , and there's no need for that .

1:05:15Yes . Now imagine , for example , that you

1:05:18have a partner who , like , you're coming

1:05:21home after an event , or , I don't know ,

1:05:23after some film promotion , or after

1:05:25recording some , you know , very long set

1:05:27, and so on , and at home you're back on

1:05:29a rollercoaster , you know , it's crazy ,

1:05:31and so on . Well , that can be very

1:05:37difficult , in my opinion , and it's easy

1:05:39to confuse such excitement with

1:05:41something that could be simply toxic ,

1:05:43right ? I completely , completely agree

1:05:50with that , and now I even appreciate

1:05:52that when I'm at a wall , at an event ,

1:05:54which I'm not a fan of , because it also

1:05:56involves such a huge drain on energy .

1:06:03And now , for example , this month , I

1:06:05have a lot of that coming up because of

1:06:07the film promotion , and I'm standing on

1:06:09this wall , or giving interviews , and so

1:06:11on . I have to be careful to stand this

1:06:14way , not that way , because if they take

1:06:16a bad photo of me , they'll write

1:06:18something like that , and I'm standing

1:06:20there , and I think to myself : " Oh my ,

1:06:22I'll come home , put on my tracksuit ,

1:06:23sit on the couch in front of the TV ,

1:06:25we'll watch our anti-aging series and

1:06:27it'll be great . " Not that I know he's

1:06:30waiting at home and that I know what

1:06:31I'll find at home ,

1:06:32right ? That you don't have to wonder ,

1:06:34right ?

1:06:34Yes . And that's simply

1:06:36great value .

1:06:37A lot , and that's what I was looking

1:06:39for . But we also didn't say one more

1:06:42thing , um , we also didn't say one more

1:06:44very important thing , um , which is

1:06:46about your film , that is , that it got

1:06:48into the Perspektywy competition in

1:06:50Gdynia , which is a very big success .

1:06:52Yes . And that was one of my dreams ,

1:06:54which I've been writing down for years ,

1:06:56every full moon and every new moon . Yes

1:06:58, because it was also always a ritual .

1:07:00I still do it . My friend Mersia also

1:07:04taught me that , to always write mainly

1:07:05about this on noob , um , write two

1:07:07sheets of paper , on one what I'm saying

1:07:09goodbye to and burn that sheet , and on

1:07:11the other On the second page , I write

1:07:13everything I'm just starting . And I

1:07:16always wrote that it's already

1:07:17happening and that I'm there and doing

1:07:19it . And for years , I wrote it and I

1:07:22haven't stopped , so that if I ever go

1:07:24to the Gdynia festival , I'll simply go

1:07:26there exclusively with my film , as if

1:07:28I'd never been to this festival before ,

1:07:30even though actors always dream of

1:07:32going there , even for a moment , to see

1:07:34something — a film , a director ,

1:07:36something . I never did , because I said

1:07:40I'd go there if my film , in which I

1:07:42play the lead , was there . And it's

1:07:45happening now . And it's really about

1:07:51how persistently you have to strive to

1:07:53fulfill these dreams , that it really

1:07:54doesn't happen often right away , and

1:07:56that I've really been in this industry

1:07:58since I was seven . I started acting

1:08:04when I was seven , and now I'm 33 , and

1:08:06this is the first time I've succeeded .

1:08:09And I've been dreaming about this for ,

1:08:11honestly , I don't know . 15 years , right

1:08:13? That's really on my dream list . So

1:08:16I'm very happy about that . I think this

1:08:24film also deserves to be in a

1:08:26competition like this , because it's on

1:08:27the one hand a festival film , and on

1:08:29the other hand , a bit commercial ,

1:08:31because everyone who watches it will

1:08:32find a part of themselves in it , and

1:08:34these are themes that touch us all

1:08:36somewhere . And it's not a film about

1:08:46love , and those are usually the most

1:08:48common . This relationship that Jędrzej

1:08:55and I are creating in these roles has

1:08:57no romantic traits at all , which I also

1:08:59think is cool and interesting , that

1:09:01it's not about love . Well , I don't know

1:09:10what to tell you . I'll tell you when I

1:09:12get back from Gdynia . Firstly , I can't

1:09:14wait to go to the cinema to see this

1:09:16film . And secondly , it's wonderful to

1:09:19hear it . You really know , because I

1:09:29think it's often easy for all of us to

1:09:31say that or to infer that someone's

1:09:32success just happens , that you know ,

1:09:34it's very nice to say : " Oh , someone had

1:09:36overnight success , " or something like

1:09:38that , you know , like someone comes in

1:09:40and something just happens , and you

1:09:42show that from your perspective , it was

1:09:44actually a regular job and not giving

1:09:45up on that dream , even though it wasn't

1:09:47happening , wasn't happening . " I don't

1:09:57have an audition for the summer , " or ,

1:09:58you know , " I don't have a role . " So

1:10:00what can you think at a time like that ?

1:10:02You know , it's easy to give up .

1:10:04Yes , that's exactly how it is . And I

1:10:08think it's a result of my childhood ,

1:10:09where I was also very hardworking ,

1:10:11because from a young age I was striving

1:10:13for all of this . And I've always really

1:10:22cared about it , and I've always loved

1:10:24it , and I've learned that things don't

1:10:26happen immediately for me , and I really

1:10:27sometimes had to wait a long time for

1:10:29different roles and for my dreams to

1:10:31come true . And I'm proof that , beyond

1:10:41the talent I think I have — and I

1:10:43generally think highly of myself and

1:10:44believe I'm truly capable of playing

1:10:46anything that comes my way — there's a

1:10:48whole series of things that have to

1:10:49come together in this industry . But

1:10:57it's also really hard work , and I'm

1:10:59kind of at the point where I think to

1:11:01myself , " I've worked so hard , and now

1:11:02I'm going to ask for my reward . "

1:11:06But that's very much

1:11:08me , that's also the moment where I kind

1:11:10of want to start taking it easy , no way

1:11:12. And I absolutely don't rest on my

1:11:16laurels , and every role is also an

1:11:18opportunity for more work , and this one

1:11:20also showed me that , so what if I've

1:11:21already worked so hard , I also had to

1:11:23prepare for this , and I also had to put

1:11:25in the work to pull it off , no ,

1:11:28this project . But it's not like I don't

1:11:33have it anymore , I already know my

1:11:34worth .

1:11:36If you're still listening to this

1:11:38conversation and think it's valuable ,

1:11:39I'd be grateful for your comment and a

1:11:41thumbs up . I think what you're talking

1:11:47about is also very important ,

1:11:48especially when we start working on

1:11:50ourselves , doing something , you know , I

1:11:52don't know , some spiritual , energy

1:11:54therapies and so on , to find that

1:11:56moment where you stop pushing forward

1:11:58all the time and say , " Okay , now I'm

1:11:59opening myself up to it really coming

1:12:01to me . " But I also think it's very

1:12:10important to pay attention , because

1:12:12today this word , I don't know ,

1:12:13manifesting and so on , is a bit cliched

1:12:15in this context , that people often

1:12:17perceive it as , " I'll just sit down ,

1:12:19start thinking , and something will come

1:12:21to me . " Well , no , life is such that for

1:12:28something to come to you , you actually

1:12:30have to take some steps towards that

1:12:32situation in order to ,

1:12:36or sometimes you have to close

1:12:37something , so that something can open

1:12:39up . Exactly , because I also often think

1:12:42that there's this trap of wanting to

1:12:44move forward , wanting to advance ,

1:12:46wanting to achieve more things , but in

1:12:48reality you're stuck in a certain place

1:12:50. Entangled in things you shouldn't

1:12:52have been involved in for a long time ,

1:12:54because they're actually blocking you .

1:12:57By the way , this is a topic that comes

1:12:59up very often . I recently experienced

1:13:01Helmingsar settings for the first time .

1:13:04I mean , I used to be in one-on-one

1:13:06sessions , and now I'm in group sessions

1:13:08, and it's also an interesting , quite

1:13:10controversial topic . I've been planning

1:13:14to do this for several years , just to

1:13:16experience it , but actually , after

1:13:18watching " The Other Me " on Netflix ,

1:13:20which we briefly talked about before

1:13:22the cameras rolled , this series somehow

1:13:28inspired me to go for these settings .

1:13:35And I saw there , while also

1:13:36participating in other people's

1:13:38settings , that sometimes we're blocked

1:13:40by things we have no idea about . It's

1:13:46our past stories , our ancestors '

1:13:48stories , stories from a previous

1:13:50incarnation . Um , and if you're open to

1:13:57looking more broadly , to looking deeper

1:13:59at something that once seemed absurd to

1:14:01you , and today you think to yourself : "

1:14:03Okay , maybe what I'm saying is true ,

1:14:05then explore it , go there , because

1:14:07sometimes

1:14:12we don't even know that we're stuck in

1:14:14life . Um , and that's also a bit about

1:14:18this film , uh , that I've been making

1:14:20recently , that you can get stuck in

1:14:22some place in life . Um , and sometimes

1:14:25it's enough to change just a little bit

1:14:27to change a lot , to

1:14:29take some first step ,

1:14:30right ? And that's also very , very much

1:14:32what this film is about . Um , Olga , one

1:14:36more question that I really like , and

1:14:38someone close to me asked me some time

1:14:40ago . Which situation in your life had

1:14:45the greatest impact on where you are

1:14:47today as a person , but also

1:14:48professionally ? And I mean a situation

1:14:55that at the time seemed completely

1:14:57tragic to you , but today , when you look

1:14:59back , you know that it made sense and

1:15:01that this is what happened . It was

1:15:08supposed to happen so that you could be

1:15:10who you are today , play the role of

1:15:12Olga in the film Maens , and simply feel

1:15:13like a happy and fulfilled person .

1:15:20There was this one morning when I was

1:15:26still alone , after breaking up with

1:15:28Alex's dad . I had been alone for a long

1:15:35time , but I was still in a place where

1:15:37I was forcing myself to do it , and I

1:15:39remember this one morning when I felt

1:15:41like , damn it , I can't get out of bed

1:15:43anymore , that I can't get up today , I'm

1:15:49done . And I think it was a moment when

1:15:56I felt like nothing made sense anymore ,

1:15:58that I didn't give a damn about it

1:15:59anymore . I didn't give a damn about all

1:16:03these therapies anymore , all these

1:16:05physiotherapists I go to , acupuncture ,

1:16:07healers , shamans , bioenergy therapists ,

1:16:10and everything , everything . And I

1:16:15remember that day and that morning , and

1:16:17it somehow came to me , and I remember

1:16:19that later , of course , I had to get up

1:16:21because I had to take Alex to preschool

1:16:23and leave the house . And how I left him

1:16:28in In that kindergarten , I had a very

1:16:35long walk alone , and something came

1:16:37over me that I already have so much ,

1:16:38because I have people around me .

1:16:45And I think that if it weren't for the

1:16:47people close to me , my friends who were

1:16:49with me — really , gosh , well , when I

1:16:56was alone — my family , and now my

1:16:58partner , I definitely wouldn't be here

1:17:00today in this shape . Because I'd

1:17:06probably still be somewhere in this

1:17:08industry , probably still giving various

1:17:10interviews and so on , but definitely ,

1:17:11if it weren't for all the people who

1:17:13also accepted my various states , my

1:17:15explorations , my asking questions ,

1:17:26questioning everything , searching for

1:17:28answers , then I definitely wouldn't be

1:17:33here . So , I don't think this is just

1:17:39one situation , because I've had a

1:17:40series of them , but I remember the day

1:17:42when it came over me , like this

1:17:44gratitude that first there was a moment

1:17:46— the only one I've actually had in my

1:17:48life — that made me wonder , what's the

1:17:50point of me getting up today , right ?

1:17:55I've reached this point , this wall , no ,

1:17:57this wall , that , damn it , I can't go

1:17:59any further , but I had no choice . And

1:18:04you see , sometimes the salvation is

1:18:06this child who makes you have to get up

1:18:08anyway .

1:18:12So , this also showed me that asking for

1:18:17help , which I hated , turned out to be

1:18:19the only right thing , right ? That when

1:18:22you're simply in a place like that , you

1:18:24ask for help .

1:18:26And if you have people around you who

1:18:28help you and are kind to you , then it's

1:18:30really what you said .

1:18:32Nothing is more important to me . Now ,

1:18:34you know , we recently celebrated our

1:18:36birthdays , so you know how it is . It

1:18:37always makes me reflect . I don't know ,

1:18:41for me , this birthday and the week

1:18:43before it is always like ,

1:18:46wow , and there's always so much going

1:18:48on . And on this birthday , as usual , a

1:18:51lot of people spontaneously showed up

1:18:53at my house and we managed to throw a

1:18:55party , and I stood before blowing out

1:18:57this candle and , as usual , I was

1:18:58blowing out this candle . I burst into

1:19:01tears ,

1:19:02simply saying that there's nothing more

1:19:04important to me in life than

1:19:05relationships . There simply isn't .

1:19:09Thank you so much for this beautiful ,

1:19:11honest , and real conversation . Wow . I

1:19:15think this is a completely different

1:19:16side of Olga Kalibka . Thank you so much

1:19:19.

1:19:19Thank you .