Full transcript
0:00A woman changes irrevocably the moment
0:02a child is born . It is such a magical
0:05moment when the child turns one , and
0:07now I can slowly start looking for that
0:09space that is mine . I’ve been offered
0:13various setups hundreds of times .
0:15It’s a super weird moment when you
0:17lose your own style . You don't know how
0:20to express yourself , and suddenly all
0:21the clothes in my closet don't fit me
0:23because that isn't me anymore .
0:26Balancing all these aspects is
0:28difficult , and I think the moment I
0:29realized it was hard was when I started
0:31to manage it . Up until the time of that
0:35first pregnancy . It was true that I was
0:37quite focused on my career . Technically
0:40, I learned how to step into a
0:41character , close that process off , step
0:44out of it , and come back to myself . So ,
0:48I just go to the set of the show and I
0:49give vent to all those emotions , and I
0:51can say all the things I would never
0:53say to my children in real life . Hi ,
1:00I'm so glad you're here . Welcome to the
1:02" Because I Want to Know " podcast .
1:04Together , we explore topics that no one
1:06often teaches us and look for ways to
1:08lead a more conscious and better life .
1:11This is a space where I talk to experts
1:13from various fields and people who
1:15inspire with their stories . Happy
1:17listening . Today my guest is Olga
1:19Kalicka , a film and theater actress
1:21whom most of us have known from the
1:23screen for many years . For a long time ,
1:26we’ve watched her career develop , and
1:28in recent years , also a completely new
1:30stage of her life : motherhood . Olga
1:33shows that you can be a mom , develop
1:35professionally , and try to find your
1:37own definition of balance at the same
1:38time . Today we will talk about
1:42parenthood , balancing it with a career ,
1:44social pressure , single motherhood ,
1:46business , and how not to lose yourself
1:48among all these life roles . I welcome
1:51you warmly .
1:52>> Hi . Good morning . Thank you so much for
1:54accepting my invitation . I am very
1:57curious about our conversation , and to
1:59start it off well , please answer a
2:00question I ask every guest . If you had
2:03to describe yourself to someone who
2:05doesn't know you at all , how would you
2:06do it ? XTB has become a partner of my
2:08channel . I use it myself and I really
2:11like their approach . Taking care of
2:13your finances is something really worth
2:15learning . At XTB , you can gain
2:17knowledge , invest in stocks or ETFs
2:20among other things , and conveniently
2:22manage your finances . You will find the
2:24link in the episode description .
2:28>> I must admit that I hadn't listened to
2:29your podcast before , but I was the
2:31first one to start following you , which
2:33is why I agreed to come over , and I'm
2:35very happy and can't wait to see what
2:40happens here today . Hmm . If I were to
2:45describe myself , I think that mmm
2:54seemingly calm , but a lion inside .
2:59>> Okay . Interesting , interesting . Could
3:02you elaborate on that ? Where does this
3:04lion come from and why ? You know , I am
3:09a Leo by sign , and that has somehow
3:11followed me since childhood , in the
3:13sense that I am very expressive and I
3:15always needed that to be able to
3:16express myself . Um , and now my partner
3:22laughs that I’m so dramatic , and I
3:24love it when he uses that word . But
3:27it’s true to some extent that on one
3:37hand , I can find that balance and calm
3:39in various situations , but on the other
3:41hand , I have a very expressive nature ,
3:43and it’s often visible on me that
3:45something is happening , like there's a
3:47lot , right , a lot on my face , a lot of
3:49those emotions . Does your face have
3:58those so-called subtitles , where it’s
4:00hard for you to hide what you’re
4:01feeling inside in a given situation ?
4:04>> You know , I learned that over time in
4:05this industry .
4:07>> Mhm .
4:08>> I learned to mask it . I don’t know if
4:11that’s the right word . Well , probably
4:13a bit , yes . Mhm .
4:14>> Because it is a world where , um , as a
4:22person who just wears their heart on
4:23their sleeve , who wants the best for
4:25everyone and always wants to tell the
4:27whole truth , I’ve learned that in
4:28this world , it’s not always worth it
4:30and not with everyone .
4:34>> Mhm . And I also had to learn that , just
4:38maybe not literally in conversations
4:40like today’s , because we are in a
4:42fairly safe space that you create . And
4:46also , like , we have some control over
4:48this , right ?
4:49>> Yes .
4:51>> But before podcasts appeared , I mostly
4:53experienced various types of interviews
4:55,
4:56>> yes ,
4:57>> over which I had no complete control .
5:00Right . Mhm .
5:01>> I understand . So I think that really
5:04built up my walls , and now I’m at a
5:06point where I consciously choose who I
5:08put that wall up in front of and who I
5:09don't .
5:12>> Mhm . Good . I think I’ll also ask you
5:16about that industry , about the pressure
5:18, about what you lost there and what
5:20you gained . But first , we’ll go
5:23through some questions meant to engage
5:25our listeners . Is it possible to be a
5:28good mom and at the same time not give
5:30up on your own ambitions ?
5:32>> It is possible . It is possible . In my
5:35opinion , it is , but it’s a journey
5:37and it’s not that obvious , in my
5:39opinion , because it happens on a
5:46hormonal level in a woman’s body the
5:48moment she gets pregnant , that suddenly
5:50her entire focus is redirected to the
5:52child . Mhm . On one hand , you are in a
5:56phase of taking care of yourself and
5:58your body , because you are building a
5:59human being inside it , creating them .
6:06But the closer you get to the delivery ,
6:08and then that moment of birth and all
6:10the attention shifting to the child ,
6:11makes recovering that part of yourself ,
6:13I’d call it the pre-pregnancy self ,
6:15hard .
6:18>> Mhm .
6:20>> It’s like crossing over . I’ve been
6:25observing you for a long time and I
6:26know you love , um , mountain hiking and
6:28all sorts of expeditions , so I would
6:30compare it to having to trek back up
6:32some huge mountain and just ...
6:36>> making your way through to dig back
6:38down to that .
6:39>> Mhm . Mhm .
6:41>> Because it’s something like , a woman
6:43changes irrevocably ,
6:45>> right ?
6:45>> The moment a child is born , I mean ,
6:47even from getting pregnant .
6:48>> Mhm . And I don’t quite have the
6:54feeling , because you can’t go back to
6:56exactly who you were before , because
6:58it’s simply impossible . However ,
7:03there are parts of us women that are
7:05later essential in motherhood to be
7:07able to take care of ourselves . Mhm .
7:15And it seems to me that if a woman
7:17reaches the point where she finds that
7:19balance and is still able to be very
7:21present for the child , giving them a
7:22lot , but at the same time having
7:24moments to set boundaries , like : " not
7:26now , me " – of course I’m talking
7:27about when the child is older , because
7:29we aren’t talking about when the
7:31child is one year old , no , because
7:32that’s not an option ; then you are
7:34totally for the child , because it needs
7:36it and cannot function without you .
7:41>> Mhm .
7:43>> However , when they are older , then you
7:45are able to balance it , in my opinion .
7:47>> Okay , I understand . And when do you
7:51feel that you started to come back to
7:53yourself a bit and think about your
7:54ambitions , and not just about the
7:56children ? You know , I’m now back in a
8:02place where I’m starting to come back
8:03to myself again .
8:06>> Aha .
8:07>> After the second delivery .
8:08>> Mhm .
8:09>> Because I have this feeling that the
8:11moment of pregnancy , and then that
8:13first year of a child's life , it's just
8:15such a magical moment when the child
8:16turns one . At least I really feel it
8:21that , Aha , okay . So they turned a year
8:26old , and now I can slowly start looking
8:28for that space that is mine . And
8:34honestly , I thought it would be a bit
8:35like , once you have the second child ,
8:37it’s all downhill , that you already
8:39know what's what .
8:41>> And generally , that is the case .
8:47However , this transformation of a woman
8:49happens every single time , and that’s
8:51what I learned with the second
8:52pregnancy , that once again my inner
8:54world was turned upside down , and I
8:55learned new things about myself all
8:57over again . and I had to rediscover
9:05myself . Even on such a , you know , very
9:09down-to-earth level — like clothes , how
9:11I express myself , what I put on , and
9:14how I feel in it .
9:24>> Because it suddenly turned out , and I'm
9:26sure all moms will understand me here ,
9:28that there's this super strange moment
9:30where you lose your style , where you
9:31lose , you don't know how to express
9:33yourself , that suddenly all the clothes
9:35that were in my closet didn't fit me
9:36because that wasn't me anymore , because
9:38there's a moment when a woman simply
9:40undergoes a transformation and I am
9:42someone else , and I put those clothes
9:43on like I’m stepping into my old self
9:45, you know ?
9:53>> Mhm . I understand . Like a new stage and
9:56a bit of a re-evaluation of life .
10:01There’s something to that , and I
10:02wouldn’t be talking about it if not
10:04for the fact that I’m in this
10:05wonderful situation where two of my
10:07friends were pregnant at the same time
10:08as me . I mean , I gave birth last .
10:14>> And that is just the most wonderful
10:15thing in the world , and I wish that for
10:17every woman , because thanks to that , we
10:19were and are still in the loop . We have
10:23our WhatsApp group , and we are able to
10:25constantly talk through these different
10:27stories , like the one I just mentioned ,
10:29and suddenly it turns out that it
10:30wasn't just me , but my friends were
10:32going through the exact same thing ,
10:34right ? That , like , your body changes ,
10:39you don't fit into most of your
10:41pre-pregnancy clothes , you don't know ,
10:43everything is so new , and you're just
10:45trying to find yourself in this body of
10:47yours .
10:49>> Mhm . So , it's like a new identification
10:51of yourself .
10:52>> Completely .
10:54>> I , for example , felt something like
10:56that around the age of 25 , when I’d
10:58hear it before from the women close to
11:00me , saying : " Listen , once you turn 25 ,
11:02everything will change for you . " I'd
11:06say : " What are you telling me ? 25 ,
11:08what’s the difference , it’s just a
11:10number , surely nothing will change ? "
11:12But damn , there is something to it . I
11:14feel like I also passed that stage and
11:16suddenly started paying attention to
11:17completely different things in life . I
11:20started caring about different things ,
11:22and those values changed a lot . So I
11:24assume that this is yet another stage
11:26that changes you again .
11:28>> Yes . And I’ll tell you more , now that
11:31you mentioned it , it reminded me ,
11:33because I was 25 when I was pregnant
11:35with Alexia . Mhm . And I also remember
11:43that , in fact , I was already pregnant
11:45on my birthday , which nobody knew yet ,
11:47so that was also quite interesting , but
11:49for me it was really with double the
11:51intensity , right , because I entered
11:52that new stage you're talking about ,
11:54and additionally I became a mom , so I
11:56think it was , you know , strongly
11:58magnified . And if you were to ,
12:03>> but then , honestly , I think that
12:05turning 30 was for me a moment
12:07>> of another switch ,
12:08>> of such a switch . I really felt that ,
12:11you know , now it begins .
12:14>> I probably had that .
12:16>> And if you were to name , let's say , the
12:18biggest changes you noticed in yourself
12:20, felt after the first pregnancy and
12:22the second ?
12:25>> Everything changed .
12:27>> I know . Uh , you know , I think that for
12:33sure the biggest change , uh , between
12:42that first motherhood and the second
12:43one is that now there is a lot of peace
12:45in me , that the stages the child goes
12:47through , and the mom with them , and the
12:49mom also goes through herself , were no
12:51longer a surprise to me . Not that much .
13:02Maybe it was a bit of a surprise that
13:04it really always happens the same way ,
13:09but I knew what to expect and I was
13:11very driven by the fact that this
13:13passes , that these various stages pass ,
13:15you know , those difficult , initial ones
13:17, I don't know ,
13:22>> colic , not sleeping at night , feeding
13:24and so on , that it all passes and
13:26thanks to the fact that I knew it would
13:28pass soon , I was able to focus on the
13:30here and now and on experiencing it
13:32with my whole self ,
13:36>> and not searching for solutions to
13:41everything all the time .
13:43>> Sometimes there are moments where you
13:44have no solutions , you just have to go
13:46through it
13:48>> and it lasts . So , like , that kind of
13:53trust , I think that is the quintessence
13:55of this more conscious motherhood .
14:01Would you like to have more children ?
14:06>> I can't say . No , it's funny , because
14:08it's mega interesting , because after
14:10the first child I said I would never
14:12have any more children , and all my
14:14friends said : " Yeah , sure , never , never
14:17say never . " Mhm .
14:19>> Then when Aniela was born , on one hand
14:21I had this feeling : " Oh , and now
14:22everything is as it should be . " Just
14:26like I used to , when I was a child , a
14:28little girl playing house , I always
14:30imagined that first I would have a boy ,
14:32then a girl , and that's it . No ,
14:35>> oh , so your vision actually came true .
14:37>> Completely , I mean , let's say I had
14:39some minor , you know , turbulence , but
14:41in general
14:42>> in general , ultimately yes .
14:44>> The picture is relatively similar . M ,
14:46however , y well , I'll tell you honestly
14:52, I love this motherhood . I find myself
14:54very fulfilled in it and
14:56>> But it shows later
14:57>> m and for me , it is also for me , just
15:02like that , m , from the side of this
15:04femininity and the strength it gives .
15:09>> It is amazing to me and , I would say ,
15:11so alluring . But on the other hand – m
15:17also – I am already fulfilled as a mom ,
15:18so I don't want to say that never again
15:20, because I experience something in
15:28life where my mom always says : " What is
15:30meant for whom , will come to pass , " and
15:32that is the absolute truth , in the
15:34sense that I just don't know , and
15:35anyway , regardless of how I plan my
15:37life , whatever is meant to happen will
15:39happen . So if another little soul is
15:43meant to come to us , then you're
15:44welcome . If not , then it just won't .
15:48Just in such trust in the universe and
15:49that whatever will be , will be .
15:53>> And what would you say y you've learned
15:54about your femininity over the last few
15:56years ?
15:59>> That weakness can be my greatest
16:00strength . That precisely in this
16:11femininity and this delicacy , those are
16:13the aspects and colors I never want to
16:15abandon , because it seems to me that m
16:23I was in a survival mode for a very
16:25long time , m I was in a mode of
16:26achieving goals , dreams , planning for a
16:29very long time , y you know , just when
16:31the first pregnancy appeared , right ?
16:35Yes .
16:36>> And it sort of seemed to me that , you
16:38know , everything is possible , that I
16:40can achieve anything and so on , and
16:42that's true . However , I was in such a
16:47strong task-oriented mode for most of
16:49my life , and that probably also helped
16:51me be in the place where I am today ,
16:53right ? But on the other hand , it seems
17:00to me that this feminine strength is so
17:02beautiful and so enormous , and it gives
17:03me so much that feeling that I also
17:05have a partner with whom I can be a
17:07woman . That is just amazing . Mhm . And
17:16do you feel that this survival mode ,
17:22how did it affect your femininity ? What
17:26did this survival mode proverbially
17:28take from you , and what did it give you
17:29, besides the place you are in now ?
17:33>> I think that is a moment when you are
17:35in a very masculine energy , right ? that
17:37you are in a
17:40>> m , let me ask right away , do you feel
17:42that this masculine energy was your
17:44nature , or rather a created shield to
17:46survive ?
17:47>> Definitely a shield created to survive .
17:50>> Okay .
17:51>> Yes , definitely . And only now , well ,
17:56let’s say , for about three years ,
17:58I’ve had this feeling that this
18:00energy started circulating as it should
18:02, meaning that there is this yin and
18:04yang , right ? that there is enough of
18:08both feminine and masculine energy . And
18:10I also notice something , that this
18:15feminine , this masculine energy is also
18:17essential for us , because we like , we
18:19women like to be proactive , right ?
18:22Especially now , when more and more is
18:27being said about the fact that we also
18:28have this power , right ? and that it is
18:33known that everything has evolved , that
18:35we as women achieve success , manage
18:37people , and so on . And so we need this
18:42masculine energy for that . I think that
18:44, for example , in motherhood , I also
18:46really need this masculine energy .
18:47Precisely for setting boundaries for my
18:49children , right ? Especially for my
18:51older son , who already needs it too .
18:56And that is when I turn on this
18:58masculine energy . Uh , however , it seems
19:03to me that the most important thing is
19:05this balance , to be able to allow
19:06yourself to say , hey , I don’t have
19:08the strength for this today , I won’t
19:10save the world today , right ? And I
19:14think that’s what it’s all about .
19:17If you like what you are hearing and
19:19want to belong to our conscious
19:20community , subscribe to the channel ,
19:22leave a like and a comment to stay up
19:24to date . On my channel , you will find
19:27all sorts of content from health to
19:28sports , fashion , and entertainment , so
19:30it would be cool for you to be a part
19:32of it . So , returning to the question ,
19:35what did this survival mode take from
19:37you , and what did it give you ? Because
19:39you know what , I think it took away a
19:41bit of my access to myself , because it
19:47was really only when I connected with
19:49the feminine energy within me , and also
19:55with that little Ola inside , only then
20:03did a lot of things let go and . I have
20:09this feeling that I stopped chasing ,
20:15that suddenly the professional world ,
20:17which was ultra-important to me before
20:19and was basically almost at the very
20:21top — it was mega important to me ,
20:23those dreams and so on . Now I see it as
20:29an element of my work , in which I
20:31really want to fulfill myself , but
20:32it’s not my whole life , right . So I
20:40think it gave me that moment where I
20:42also had to collide with a very hard
20:43wall and that blind running , to feel
20:49that that there is more than one Olga
20:55inside me , right , that there are a few
20:57pieces there that need to be cared for .
21:02>> So how do you balance your professional
21:04life with your family and private life
21:05right now ? At what stage are you
21:10currently , and maybe what goals do you
21:11have when it comes to your profession ?
21:15You know , it's never easy and I think
21:19that when children come along , it's ,
21:24well , it's a classic situation that
21:26women go through . Meaning , when I go to
21:28work , I feel like I'm missing out on
21:30something at home , that I should be
21:32home with the kids , and when I'm home
21:34with the kids , I think to myself : " Oh
21:35God , I should be doing something , going
21:37to work already and fulfilling myself
21:39professionally , and my friends are
21:41doing this and that . " Yeah
21:43>> uh , and I think that Instagram is a
21:45huge trap here too , because we
21:46constantly feel like we have to do more
21:48, something more , someone else is
21:50already doing this , she already fits
21:51into her clothes , and she doesn't fit
21:53into them at all . That is , it is a very
21:55big trap in that . So , in general ,
22:02balancing all these aspects is
22:04difficult , and I think the moment I
22:06realized it was difficult made me start
22:08coping with it . Because well , I learned
22:17this in therapy too , that until you
22:19find that problem , you know , and accept
22:21that it is that way , you won't move
22:23forward .
22:27>> And I think that's the case here . And
22:29now I have full acceptance that when I
22:31am at work , I am not at home . And sure ,
22:34a lot of different emotions come up
22:36because of that . However now I'm really
22:42managing to do it . I also had the
22:44chance to , well , I just did my homework
22:46with my first child ,
22:47>> so it's a little bit easier now . M
22:49>> Above all , I now know how to ask for
22:51help . And that is something I think
22:56most mothers struggle with , especially
23:03those raising children on their own ,
23:05that asking for help is , damn it ,
23:07really hard . It really took me several
23:12years to ask and not try to repay
23:14everyone a hundredfold for everything .
23:19And now I can do it . I can also better
23:25plan this reality , and for example ,
23:27always in my schedule , let's say a
23:29weekly or monthly one , depending on how
23:31I manage , or a day-to-day plan , because
23:33sometimes that happens too , I also try
23:40to plan these moments of reset for
23:42myself . Even if it's just , let's say , a
23:47ninety-minute massage in the whole week
23:49, I know then , and I schedule it ,
23:51that's my time , I turn off my phone ,
23:53and I inform everyone around that I'm
23:55unavailable then .
23:58>> This is one of the methods for
23:59ambitious people who have to schedule
24:01their rest into their daily plan .
24:03>> Yes . Yes .
24:04>> And it is , it works .
24:05>> Yes . And it really does work . And once
24:07I finally grasped that this is how I
24:09need to do it , it just started working .
24:15Hmm , and above all , you know , without a
24:18super wonderful nanny who simply helps
24:20us and takes care of our children .
24:24Truly fantastic . Hey , I have to tell
24:27you , it's a total relief , because I was
24:29driving here to you today and I got a
24:31bunch of photos from a forest trip ,
24:34>> that my kids are just having a picnic
24:36and an expedition and so on . And it’s
24:41that moment when you feel such relief
24:42that the kids are in good hands , and
24:44you have space for yourself and I ... ...
24:47>> they are having adventures .
24:48>> Yes .
24:49>> They are on a trip in the forest after
24:50all .
24:51>> I'll tell you more , she took both of
24:53them to the pool and I was like , woman ,
24:55how did you do that ? I mean , for me , it
24:58still is . I understand , I know it might
25:01sound silly , but it's such a big
25:03logistics task . I mean , it's really
25:06always a challenge , right ? The pool . My
25:09one child , my son , is truly quicksilver
25:12, that's what I would call him . So
25:17he’s everywhere , right ? On every
25:19cabinet , under the ceiling , on the
25:21ladders and so on , you know ? And in all
25:25that , there’s a one-year-old who
25:26needs a lot of attention , so managing
25:28that is quite an effort . So when our
25:33nanny does it , and she does it simply
25:35wonderfully , and then I see happy
25:37children , I feel that it’s alright
25:38and it’s okay . And it also took me a
25:43moment to realize that it wasn't me who
25:45took them to the forest today , but her .
25:49>> But they had a great time , and I can
25:51come to you and we can have a great
25:53conversation that might sow some seed ,
25:55I don't know , of hope , inspiration ,
25:57whatever , for someone .
25:59>> Mhm . So , if you had to say what that
26:03mode you've already escaped from gave
26:05you , though I think you still see some
26:06benefits in it .
26:12>> You know what , I simply wouldn't have
26:13survived in another one . So sometimes
26:18there are situations in life where you
26:20have no choice , you have to roll up
26:22your sleeves and move forward .
26:26There’s no time there to , you know ,
26:28get stuck in some rut . The only
26:33condition is that sooner or later , you
26:35must give yourself that time . Mhm .
26:40>> Because if you don't realize in time
26:41that you are already neck-deep in mud ,
26:46then it’s just harder to dig yourself
26:48out of it , right ?
26:51>> So , I’m at the stage now where if
26:53something happens , I’ll just dip my
26:55toe into that mud . I realize my foot is
27:00dirty , I wash it off , and I move on .
27:02Yeah ,
27:04>> I had to realize , you know , that I was
27:06in it up to my neck .
27:07>> Mhm . I’m thinking that maybe that
27:12helped you a bit in motherhood with
27:14that organization , with being
27:15disciplined regarding the kids , and
27:17with the strength to handle two of them
27:18. You know , it’s different now ,
27:25because the responsibilities for
27:27childcare are just distributed a bit
27:29differently , and first of all , I’m in
27:31a different place . I simply take joy in
27:34spending time with them . I just spent
27:3810 days on vacation with the kids and I
27:40truly had a wonderful time
27:43>> and I understand that you can’t call
27:45it a holiday , and that’s totally true
27:47. Because the responsibilities are the
27:50same , the external conditions change ,
27:55but I had a lot of fun spending time
27:57with them , that they are , you know ,
27:58cool little people .
28:01>> Yeah . And they came from you , too . So
28:05it’s like , I always say that my son
28:09is my great teacher , because he just
28:11challenges me at every step and of
28:14course , from the bottom of my heart , I
28:16am very grateful to him for that . Mhm .
28:18>> But it also generates a series of
28:20challenges in everyday life , right ? On
28:26the other hand , Aniela is such a
28:27sweetheart , who in all of this , she
28:29just disperses that energy , she enters
28:31the chaos and just dissolves it all . So
28:36>> it’s
28:37>> interesting , you know , the contrast
28:39between a girl and a boy . It’s
28:42interesting in general , because I
28:43didn’t think it was like that , and I
28:45remember one of my friends told me that
28:46you’ll see , being a mother to a
28:48daughter and being a mother to a son is
28:50completely different . I totally agree
28:53with that today , because it is , it is a
28:55different kind of love . It is
28:58completely , it is just different .
29:01>> It’s different to have a daughter and
29:02different to have a son . So I am very
29:04grateful that I could experience both
29:06of these .
29:09>> Before we move on to career and life in
29:10the media , one last question about
29:12motherhood . Are there things you miss
29:16from your life before motherhood ? M you
29:23know , I think I miss that m although I
29:33don’t know , I actually wanted to say
29:35it , but it wouldn’t be the truth . I
29:38wanted to say that I miss that kind of
29:40freedom , where , you know , I don't have
29:42to plan anything , where I don't have to
29:44explain myself and so on , but on the
29:46other hand thanks to motherhood , I feel
29:52so much more complete that I wouldn't
29:54trade it . Mhm . The only thing is , it's
29:58true that sometimes I have this need , I
30:03don't know , to go away somewhere with
30:05my girlfriends , do something , and it's
30:07possible , but for example , I know it's
30:09not right now , you know , because
30:10Anielcia is still little . I think she
30:13needs a bit more time before I can , I
30:15don't know , go away for longer than two
30:17days , let's say .
30:22>> But this is , again , exactly what I said
30:24at the beginning , that it will pass .
30:29And I wouldn't trade this motherhood ,
30:31and I'm happy because it , because it
30:33develops me to the max ,
30:39>> because the different stages you go
30:41through with a child make it so you
30:42constantly have to learn more about
30:43yourself . And that's what gets me
30:51excited about life in general , that we
30:53come here to this earth and we
30:54experience things and learn lessons and
30:56we just keep on growing . I love that ,
31:02although sometimes it's obviously not
31:04very easy , right ?
31:06>> Yeah , but still , it's developing
31:08>> to the max .
31:09>> Yes . I even listened to an interesting
31:12conversation today where they were
31:13saying that in life , there's no time to
31:15be bored if you're exploring yourself ,
31:17because there's always something to dig
31:18into .
31:20>> Totally , I totally agree with that . The
31:24coolest moments for me are when I check
31:26in with my therapist sporadically now .
31:29I'm no longer in regular therapy like a
31:31few years ago , just every now and then .
31:35And so we had this meeting recently and
31:37I was like , everything's cool ,
31:39everything's fine , but you can always
31:44dig something up , right ?
31:47>> Yeah , damn , there's always something
31:48you find where you say , " Oh , I thought
31:50it was this , but it's actually the
31:52other way around . " No , so that's , but
31:56that's fascinating . I love that in life
31:58.
31:59>> I I agree with that . It fascinates me
32:01too . All right , let's move on then to
32:04this industry and a bit about the
32:06pressure , because I was also intrigued
32:07by what you said , that in everyday life
32:09you're a person who wears their heart
32:11on their sleeve . You want to tell
32:14everyone the truth , and yet in this
32:16industry , you can't quite afford to do
32:18that . Could you expand on this topic
32:20and also what you've learned over the
32:22years about this industry ?
32:28>> You know , it's like this , that I am
32:33constantly , like , looking for a path
32:35for myself that will be as close to me
32:37as possible , as much in harmony with me
32:39as possible , because I — the longer I'm
32:41in this industry , and I’ve been in it
32:43for a very long time — the more , at
32:51every step , when I do something against
32:53my will , I either end up sick or I
32:55regret it later . Mhm . And it’s like I
33:01keep learning over and over again that
33:03I really must be completely in harmony
33:04with myself on this path . And and there
33:12are , like , two aspects to my industry .
33:16Because on one hand , it's the showbiz
33:18industry , from which I sort of keep my
33:20distance a little bit , because I don't
33:21really have the space for that in my
33:23life anymore . I'm not really into going
33:28to red carpet events anymore .
33:30>> Mhm .
33:32>> Unless
33:33>> Exactly , space in your life or space in
33:35your head ?
33:37>> M , in my head . In my life a bit too ,
33:40because technically , these are choices ,
33:42right ? Do I prefer to spend this
33:44evening with my children , or go to an
33:45event .
33:46>> Yes .
33:46>> Well , I’ll usually choose the evening
33:48with my children . And there are moments
33:50when I do go out somewhere . Because , I
33:53don't know , that’s also what the
33:54production of a given project I’m in
33:56expects , right ? And then it’s a bit
34:01different , because I’m also promoting
34:03my work , let's say , on set , and it’s
34:05extremely important to me then , and I
34:06also give a lot of myself . I wanted to
34:11say 100 % , but that’s another lesson
34:13I've learned , which is that your 100 %
34:15doesn't always have to be for everyone ;
34:17sometimes less is enough . When you give
34:20your 50 % for someone , that’s already
34:22100 % , right ?
34:24>> So I’ve also learned that I can’t
34:25give more than I have . So when I am in
34:31a good place , I have lots of energy ,
34:33strength , and so on , then I’m very
34:35happy to share that . For example ,
34:38that’s why I am here today
34:41>> with you , because I had the space for
34:42it in my head and in my heart . M , but
34:50there were months where I absolutely
34:52didn't , and you know , various proposals
34:54and requests appeared , m , for this type
34:56of talk or for visits to some red
34:58carpets , and I just refused immediately
35:00because I knew I didn't have the
35:01strength for it , because it also costs
35:03a lot , and I understand that from the
35:05outside it looks like something , you
35:07know , a snap of the fingers , easy . Oh ,
35:13someone dressed her , someone did her
35:15makeup , and she just went and stood on
35:17the red carpet . Well , no , it has its
35:22cost , and often a very high one . And
35:28then there are the interviews on top of
35:30that , and it's often the case that not
35:32everyone is so kind , and often the
35:33questions I get , I have no control over
35:35how they'll be edited or what headlines
35:37they'll put on them later . And over
35:46time , I simply learned that even though
35:48it's uncomfortable for some people , I
35:50often decline various conversations ,
35:55which used to be very difficult for me .
35:56Because I was the kind of person who ,
35:58you know , if someone asked me for an
36:00interview . Sure , you know . But then it
36:03turned out that their intentions
36:04weren't always pure or good .
36:07>> Mhm . I was just about to ask , how long
36:09did it take you to learn how to say no ?
36:14Because when you're growing in the
36:15media industry , whether as an actress
36:17or as an online creator — since you do
36:19create content on Instagram , you're
36:21active there , so you also act as an
36:23influencer , in a way . People like us
36:28often care about gaining that reach .
36:32Let's not kid ourselves , interviews and
36:34red carpets give you that spotlight .
36:37You're in the public eye , people can
36:39keep talking about you . And if you say
36:42something , something slightly
36:44controversial , or not quite what you
36:46should , then that's it , and many people
36:48really care about that . So my question
36:54is , did you have a stage in your career
36:56where you wanted that spotlight , wanted
36:58people to talk about you , and when did
37:00that change , and how long did it take
37:01you to learn to say no ?
37:05>> Mhm . You know , I think that up until my
37:11first pregnancy , it's true that I was
37:13quite focused on my career , and that
37:15was important to me and . I used to go
37:19to various places back then and so on ,
37:21but those were also the kinds of tips I
37:23got from people in the industry : " go
37:25there , they'll get to know you there . "
37:28But in the end , I'd go and feel like , I
37:30don't know anyone here . I have no need
37:35to talk to people I don't know if they
37:36don't want to talk to me . I just
37:40totally didn't get what everyone kept
37:41saying , you know , that if you care and
37:43they don't let you in the door , climb
37:45through the window . I never ended up
37:48climbing through that window anywhere .
37:49>> Mhm .
37:50>> Because , because I somehow never felt
37:53it . And it was also always hard for me
37:57to deal with various arrangements , like
37:59" come here and we'll do this , and it
38:01will be like that , and then you say
38:03this , and in the interview you say that
38:04. " I've been offered various setups
38:10hundreds of times , but I just can't do
38:12that . I just
38:18>> I always intuitively had to be at peace
38:20with myself . Whenever I did something a
38:22bit against my gut because someone
38:23advised me , like maybe you should go
38:25there ? It always ended badly for me . M
38:29>> so I realized it pretty quickly . Then a
38:31moment came when I simply didn't have
38:33the time for it either . And I decided
38:38that I'd rather stay at home with my
38:39child . So it changed later on and now
38:45I'm kind of in a place where I don't
38:47deny it , because there are people who
38:48love it . they just love the flash of
38:53the cameras and so on . And I won't hide
38:56that I sometimes like it too and it
38:58sometimes gives me pleasure . But for me
39:00, the context is what's important .
39:03Meaning , if I go there , I have
39:04something to say , something to convey ,
39:06I want to share something . For example ,
39:09I found out yesterday — this interview
39:11will be released in a while , but for me
39:13, it was yesterday . I found out that
39:17the film I acted in last year made it
39:19to the Gdynia Film Festival .
39:22>> M. Into the Perspectives competition .
39:25Do you know how important that was for
39:26me ? Do you know how much I can't wait
39:28to go to the Gdynia Film Festival for
39:30the first time in my life ? Even though
39:33I've been in this industry for so many
39:35years , I promised myself even before
39:37college that I would go to this
39:38festival if a film I starred in
39:40appeared there . And that has happened
39:44now , and for example , I know there will
39:46be red carpets , I know there will be
39:47interviews . I know that I'll have to
39:51take care of it , you know , and spend a
39:52lot of my energy there too . But I'm
39:56super happy about it because this film
39:58was so special to me . I did something
40:03completely new there , something no one
40:05knows me for , because I didn't even
40:06know myself from that side . When I saw
40:11a few clips after the first edit , I
40:16just thought , damn , it's cool that it's
40:18going to be something new , you know ,
40:20that it's really a new creation , right ?
40:29And that gets me super excited . So this
40:33life in the spotlight and these various
40:35aspects of the flashes are , uh it just
40:40depends , right ? But on the other hand ,
40:43I don't deny and I totally understand
40:45online creators . I sometimes have
40:48exactly what you said , that I care
40:49about the reach , because I also create
40:51things and I really want it to reach as
40:53many people as possible .
40:56>> Of course , me too . So , for example ,
40:58here I am with you today and I think ,
41:00damn , I really want as many people as
41:02possible to hear this conversation ,
41:04right ?
41:04>> Mhm .
41:08>> Well , I think that these are just
41:10stages , you know ? A lot depends on that
41:14. It’s like with cycles , like a
41:17woman’s monthly cycle , right ? You
41:21have an upward trend when you’re
41:23super motivated and just cook these
41:24beautiful meals and do a thousand
41:26things , and then that week of the month
41:27comes when you just want to bury
41:29yourself under a blanket .
41:32>> Yes .
41:32>> And for me , it works the same way with
41:34this industry .
41:35>> Mhm . I understand . You mentioned a new
41:38role , that you saw yourself in a new
41:40role . That also really interests me ,
41:47because for me , the acting profession
41:49is something I know there’s not the
41:51slightest chance I could ever handle ,
41:53because stepping into a character's
41:54shoes is something practically
41:56impossible for me . I don’t understand
42:03how you guys do it . If you could tell
42:07me about your favorite role and why it
42:09was your favorite , and about the one
42:11that was the most difficult , the
42:12toughest , and the one you wouldn't
42:13necessarily want to repeat .
42:20>> You know , there have been many
42:21different favorites , both theatrical
42:23ones and some from series . Of course ,
42:28the role of Magda from " Rodzinka.pl " is
42:31close to my heart . Because she has been
42:34with me for years and Magda and I had
42:35this love-hate relationship , you know .
42:39There were years when I was totally
42:41grateful to be in that show , and there
42:43were years when I was totally annoyed
42:45that I was labeled as just being Magda
42:47from " Rodzinka.pl " and nothing more ,
42:49even though I’m a staff actress at a
42:50theater , I’ve played so many cool
42:52roles , I graduated from drama school ,
42:54and so on . So that’s a character that
42:58has stayed with me for a long time . I
43:01think the character that was super
43:03demanding for me at that stage was the
43:07character I played in " Girls from Dubai
43:08. " Yes , I think so .
43:10>> It cost me a great deal , but that was
43:12also because
43:15>> first of all , I was at a point in my
43:17life where I was very fragile . I think
43:22that helped me touch those shades of
43:23the character , but on the other hand ,
43:31it cost me so much and I didn't fully
43:33take care of my professional well-being
43:34, and it took me quite a while to kind
43:36of dig myself out of that .
43:40>> What does it mean that you didn't take
43:41care of your professional well-being ?
43:45You know , I’ve learned that now , so
43:46I’m wiser about it . And while doing
43:50this next role I mentioned earlier ,
43:52which you will all be able to see in
43:53the movie " Maens , " even though it was
43:59something completely unlike me , I
44:05prepared very meticulously from a
44:07coaching perspective . I actually had an
44:13acting coach , and I technically learned
44:15how to step into the character , and
44:17then close that process , step out of it
44:19, and return to myself . And I think
44:27that's a great art , and I think with
44:29every role it will be the same for me .
44:32I will have to do it from scratch every
44:34single time . And that is what's amazing
44:37about this profession , that you will
44:38never play the same thing twice in the
44:40same way . Only that every role is
44:43starting all over again and again . It's
44:46a bit like how you prepare for
44:47interviews , and every time you have
44:49someone different on the other side ,
44:51right ? And you have to start it all
44:53over again . You won't follow the same
44:55pattern with every person , right ? But
44:58it is still somewhat similar . Hmm , so
45:02that’s one aspect . However , the
45:05safety part is basically that um that
45:12very strongly , especially with such
45:14difficult roles , you have to be careful
45:16so that well , you know , you base it on
45:21your own emotionality .
45:22>> Yes . I actually want to ask about that ,
45:25how you get into a role to adopt those
45:27traits and not live with them
45:28afterwards . What does that process look
45:32like when you have to get into a
45:34certain role , and how , for example ,
45:35does a coach help you ? Well , sometimes
45:39it happens that it carries over a bit ,
45:41especially at the rehearsal stage , at
45:43the stage of preparing for the role .
45:47Because you're with it all the time for
45:49several , a dozen hours a day , you're in
45:51this character who , I don't know , has
45:53nervous ticks , or is super expressive ,
45:55or is aggressive and so on . And then
45:57you come home and you're like , " Oh , oh ,
46:00okay , okay , stop , stop , that's not me ,
46:02you know . "
46:03>> Mhm .
46:04>> And so I have actually experienced a
46:06few times that it is like that . And ,
46:10just like Ania , who worked with me
46:15during this last role , she was the one
46:17who taught me that hm it can act a bit
46:24like constellations .
46:26>> Mhm . that is , you step into the field
46:30of that character and then you
46:31experience those things , but then the
46:33safety part is that I step out of that
46:35field , right ? And sometimes it's like ,
46:40I don't know , the moment of washing off
46:43makeup , taking off the costume and so
46:45on , when you do it very consciously ,
46:46that can already be that safety .
46:51>> Mhm . But when it starts to blur and
46:54you're somewhere in between and you
46:56take on those traits , that happens . And
47:01no one on the sidelines is keeping
47:03watch . Or you don't have , I don't know ,
47:06a super aware partner who will tell you
47:08, " Hey , come back to where you are . "
47:12Exactly ,
47:13>> or I don't know , a friend , a mom ,
47:15anyone who will notice it from the
47:17outside and catch it quickly , right ? I
47:20think that can also be dangerous . Mhm .
47:23But we also learn that in drama school ,
47:25don't we ? That's what we learn in
47:28college . Well , people also take various
47:30acting courses and so on , although it's
47:32a bit harder there , right , because
47:34there's much less time . However , in a
47:36sense , school teaches that too . But
47:40it's just like with therapy . You
47:42supposedly have all the tools , and then
47:44some crisis situation happens in your
47:46life , and you don't always manage to
47:47use all those tools , right . And
47:49sometimes a helping hand from someone
47:51on the sidelines is much more important
47:53,
47:53>> right ? Than the theory . Tell me , how is
47:56it playing a mom in Rodzinka.pl ?
48:02Because you are such a no-nonsense mom
48:04there . I mean , I can do all the things
48:08there that I wouldn't do at home ,
48:10because it's not NVC , and generally
48:11it's not the language of communication
48:13we use at home with our children . So I
48:19just go to the Rodzinka set and I give
48:21vent to all those emotions and I can
48:22say all the things that I would never
48:24say to my children in real life , right .
48:28>> So in a sense , it's liberating .
48:30>> Mhm . And I'm also glad , you know , the
48:35truth is that playing comedy is also
48:37about the characters always having to
48:39be a little exaggerated ,
48:44>> that makes sense , right ? And just so
48:47you can actually laugh at it , because
48:48if we played it
48:51>> like it really is in life , we wouldn't
48:53always find it funny , would we ? So it's
48:58great that you can turn those various
49:00crisis parenting stories into something
49:02funny .
49:05>> Mhm . You mentioned in one of our
49:10conversations that when you started
49:12playing in Rodzinka.pl , your role
49:14models were , for example , Kożuchowska
49:16or Agata Kulesza . Are you a role model
49:21for anyone on set now ?
49:23>> Oh dear , I don't know . I don't know , I
49:27definitely know that with Emma , who
49:29plays my daughter , we've developed a
49:30very nice relationship . She is such an
49:34amazing child in general . She is just
49:39so gifted , the way she is , how natural
49:41she is , you know , in those scenes , that
49:44it all just ,
49:47>> but the way I was watching it , I was in
49:49shock that a child of that age could
49:51act so well . Because she has emotions ,
49:54you know ,
49:55>> she just has it in her , you know ? She
49:58just has it in her , she is so natural
50:00at it , it’s truly amazing and it’s
50:02just wonderful to watch . It’s
50:08wonderful to watch how she’s learning
50:09this craft , how she works with the
50:11camera , how she started to become aware
50:13, you know , of where the camera is ,
50:15where her positions are , that the
50:16microphone is here , it’s just amazing
50:18to me , really . And it’s great to
50:24watch that . Actually , there’s also Oh
50:28no , I can’t say that . I’ll come to
50:30you next time and I’ll tell you . Well
50:33, because we’ve already filmed the
50:35next two seasons of the series , but
50:37there is information there that I
50:38wanted to share , but I can't . And so
50:42>> unfortunately . All right , let’s move
50:45on a bit to this internet creation , to
50:47the other side of your work , basically .
50:51How do you look at it ? Do you have any
50:53goals , for example , regarding your
50:55online activity ? How do you find
50:57yourself in that world ? Do you feel
51:01safer there than in your profession ? Do
51:05you feel like you can express yourself
51:07more , say more , be more honest ?
51:11>> I definitely feel like I have more
51:12control over the things I publish . At
51:19the same time , it’s interesting
51:21because I was talking about exactly
51:22this with my friend today while driving
51:24to you , and I told her that it’s
51:25super difficult because there are so
51:27many things I would like to say that I
51:29can’t say for many reasons . Reasons
51:35like it could be interpreted in
51:36different ways , someone could write
51:38articles about it , that I have children
51:40who will soon have their own phones and
51:41will have peers who will send them all
51:43sorts of content , right ?
51:48>> Yes .
51:51>> And there are many aspects of my life
51:52that I would really like to talk about
51:54and . For example , there are tons of
51:57profiles that I follow – various women ,
52:02but not only women – and I think to
52:05myself that they are incredibly helpful
52:07to me . And I , creating online , would
52:10also like to be that helpful to someone
52:12and contribute something , but at the
52:14same time I have to calculate , you know
52:18, what the cost would be .
52:20>> Mhm . Mhm .
52:21>> M. So there are moments when I can be
52:26honest , but there are aspects of my
52:28life that , even though I want to very
52:30much , I cannot touch upon . And I think
52:34it’s also that if I only and simply
52:38created online , but wasn't an actress
52:40at the same time , then the weight of it
52:42would be different and it would reach a
52:44different audience . But you know , I
52:48post a funny reel about me reserving
52:50lounge chairs by the pool while on
52:55vacation . I get four different messages
52:58from three gossip websites . Is it true
53:01that I reserve them or not , can I
53:03comment on the subject because they
53:04would like to write a news piece about
53:06it , and what I really think , and how
53:08many chairs I reserved , and so on . Do
53:12you understand ? So , like , that is the
53:16scale .
53:18>> Uh-huh . So then I think , Goodness
53:23gracious , if we're making a big deal
53:25out of me filming a funny reel about
53:27reserving lounge chairs , then how am I
53:29supposed to talk about any , I don't
53:31know , big and important topics that
53:32have happened in my life . I just can't
53:38do it . So that's the aspect that tires
53:43me in a sense , but as much as I can , I
53:45really try to be as honest as possible
53:47and stay true to myself in what I
53:49create .
53:53>> I see that many people appreciate you
53:54for that too , that your work is
53:56authentic and it's clear that you're
53:58yourself there and expressing yourself .
54:00>> Yes . And I really see that too , and I
54:03get tons of messages like that from
54:04women , right ? Mainly , because I have
54:06mostly women on my profile , and mostly
54:08moms . And I'm very happy about that ,
54:16that I managed to gather such a super
54:18cool group of women who really have the
54:20drive , who write to me about how I've
54:27inspired them to do something . And that
54:30is the most important thing to me ,
54:32because on the other hand , it's a huge
54:33privilege to be in the position I'm in .
54:37I really wouldn't want to waste it on
54:43creating content that isn't very useful
54:45. Do you know what I mean ? That , like
54:49>> without any value . I have this feeling
54:52that I would like , of course , sometimes
54:54to be a bit humorous , and sometimes an
54:56ad will appear there .
55:00>> And I think that even such humor adds
55:02to you , as you are a very recognizable
55:04person in Poland , and I think that
55:06because of that , you give off a sense
55:08that , hey , I'm human . Yes .
55:10>> Hey , let's laugh together .
55:11>> Yes , yes . Me too . And that is also , you
55:15know , for example , the whole topic of ,
55:17like , recovering after pregnancy ,
55:19postpartum , and so on . I really wanted
55:24to talk about that too , because it's
55:26still talked about very little , and
55:28maybe I observe a lot of such content
55:30so I see it , but most women don't see
55:32it because I'm kind of deep into this
55:33topic . I needed to understand what was
55:38happening to my body and I needed to
55:40understand every stage of pregnancy ,
55:41then postpartum , and breastfeeding and
55:43everything , like , I wanted to delve
55:45into it , so these contents come to me
55:47according to the algorithms . But there
55:51are tons of women who don't follow such
55:53profiles on a daily basis , and this
55:54information doesn't reach them , and
55:56then I still feel that , well , these
55:58things are talked about too little .
56:03>> I'm not in that world , so I don't know .
56:06I think that if I were in your place , I
56:08would also do a lot of research ,
56:10because before I do anything , well , I
56:11like to know , right ? I like to know ,
56:14especially when it comes to the body .
56:20However , it seems to me that the fact
56:22that you are an inspiration to women ,
56:24that you are a well-known and
56:25recognizable person , talking about such
56:28human things , about our organism , our
56:29female body , about femininity , about
56:31how it regenerates , what you can look
56:33like — you know , it's very ... you create
56:35a lot of comfort and it's a kind of
56:37safe space , isn't it ?
56:41>> Yes , in that regard , yes . But you know ,
56:45I also had to go a long way so that the
56:47things that sometimes bombard me from
56:49the outside wouldn't affect me , you
56:51know , because there really is a large "
56:53other " messages folder . There are
57:00thousands of very strange , different ,
57:03unpleasant , offensive , sexist messages ,
57:05you know . And today I go in , delete ,
57:11and leave . Right , but before I got to
57:16that point , you know , I went through
57:18various phases of trying to understand
57:20it , trying to enter into some
57:21discussions with someone , and so on . It
57:26took me a long time , you know . And now ,
57:30like , I also have this feeling that I'm
57:32doing , that I'm in the place where I
57:33should be , simply , and that I'm doing
57:35it for ... wait , it's said so nicely ,
57:41like ... I didn't want to say for the
57:43greater good , because that's so ... I'm
57:48losing my words . The point is that for
57:51mo ... I mean , I'm doing it for my own
57:58growth and development and the growth
57:59of other beings , you know ? Meaning that
58:03for me , it's not just creating some
58:05content and posting whatever , but
58:07behind it flows a very big intention
58:09from my heart as well . That's important
58:14and very nice . Alright , let's move on
58:17to questions from the viewers now , as
58:19you always have the opportunity to
58:21leave your questions for my guests on
58:23Instagram , so if you were to answer a
58:24few .
58:26>> I'm scared because I haven't read them ,
58:28>> because I didn't send them to you .
58:30>> Oh , no , okay .
58:32>> What do intimate scenes look like
58:34behind the scenes ? It's always
58:41>> damn , in the show we even asked one of
58:42the crew guys to record us while Maciek
58:44and I were choreographing a scene , just
58:46us rolling around in bed and stuff . No ,
58:52it was just so comical . Maybe I’ll
58:56manage to put together some footage for
58:58my Instagram to show you , because
58:59it’s interesting . For example , on "
59:04Rodzinka , " Maciek and I have known each
59:07other for half our lives , so it’s a
59:09different kind of work ; sometimes we
59:11choreograph it — you put your hand here
59:13, I put mine there — and sometimes we
59:15just say , " Okay , let's go , it'll work
59:17out . " No. And we just know our limits ,
59:23we know what we can allow ourselves to
59:25do . We're also doing a comedy series ,
59:29so there's a lot of , you know , ease in
59:31that , but there are different
59:33situations and different intimate
59:35scenes , and . For example , on the set of
59:38" Girls from Dubai , " there were actually
59:40rehearsals beforehand and specific ,
59:42like , concrete choreography , making
59:44arrangements with your partner . Now
59:48there is often something called an
59:49intimacy coordinator on set , which is a
59:51person responsible for looking after
59:53the actors ' boundaries , yes , for what
59:55you can and cannot do . And I think that
1:00:01because there's quite a lot of talk
1:00:03about this now in the acting world , um
1:00:10it's getting easier to establish these
1:00:12things so that we just don't overstep .
1:00:15>> Mhm . in certain aspects ,
1:00:18>> how do actors ' partners react to
1:00:19kissing scenes and intimate scenes ?
1:00:23>> My current partner hasn't watched any
1:00:24production I'm in . Really , so I don't
1:00:29know .
1:00:32>> Oh wow ,
1:00:34>> you know what ? He said that he has
1:00:36enough of me in real life and he
1:00:38doesn't need to watch me on screen . Wow
1:00:40, that's interesting . It shocked me so
1:00:44much at the beginning of our
1:00:45relationship that he had no curiosity
1:00:47at all to even see it . But he says , "
1:00:50Why ? I want to be with you every day . I
1:00:54want to experience you fully here and
1:00:57now , not somewhere where you were
1:00:59someone else . " Well yeah , so that’s a
1:01:03very interesting approach of his ,
1:01:05however it depends . There is no single
1:01:11answer here . I think it’s very much
1:01:13about trust in a relationship .
1:01:16>> Um , that's tough , I find it hard to
1:01:18imagine , actually . So that’s , damn ,
1:01:20that’s very interesting . You
1:01:22surprised me that he hasn't watched a
1:01:23single film .
1:01:24>> It still surprises me too , and I keep
1:01:26asking him . The premiere of another
1:01:28film is coming up now . I tell him
1:01:30there's a premiere , and he's like , " aha
1:01:32. " I say , " Well , you're coming with me .
1:01:35" " Do I have to go with you ? " " Yes . " Like
1:01:38, " No , well , if you don't want to , then
1:01:40don't go . "
1:01:41>> Oh , geez . So what ? Will he go with you ?
1:01:44He'll overcome it .
1:01:44>> Maybe he'll go ? I don't know . It will
1:01:46be at the end of September .
1:01:47>> Record a reel . Like the first reaction
1:01:50of my partner to me on
1:01:52>> He's not there at all on my socials ,
1:01:54and he says he lives very well with
1:01:56that ,
1:01:58>> that I don't share him , and that was
1:02:00also a totally conscious decision of
1:02:02ours , you know . Mhm .
1:02:05>> He doesn't have a problem with me
1:02:07showing Aniela on socials , for example ,
1:02:09but he wants to remain anonymous .
1:02:11>> Mhm . We respect that .
1:02:15>> Have you ever turned down a role
1:02:16because of overly daring scenes ? I
1:02:20haven't had such an offer . I was at
1:02:25castings for one such film that was
1:02:27very daring , and I went to the casting
1:02:29even though I knew I probably wouldn't
1:02:30have decided to do it anyway . Anyway ,
1:02:36that was a pretty daring film . Mhm .
1:02:40>> And I decided I'd go to the casting ,
1:02:42but just if I succeeded , then I would
1:02:44think about it .
1:02:45>> Mhm . Okay . Okay , that's not too much
1:02:47for me .
1:02:48>> Do you have a motto or life principle
1:02:50that you follow every day ?
1:02:52>> I always stand up for myself .
1:02:54>> And do you have a ritual before going
1:02:56on set or before playing an important
1:02:57scene ?
1:02:59>> Not always . Meaning not on every set .
1:03:01Because , for example , in " Rodzinka , "
1:03:04it's such a natural environment for me .
1:03:07We all know each other for years , I
1:03:09feel very safe there and so on , so I
1:03:11don't need any rituals there . Actually ,
1:03:16when I was making my last film , I did
1:03:18have a fairly big ritual related to
1:03:24that occupational safety I mentioned ,
1:03:26because I was still breastfeeding
1:03:28Aniela then , and it was very important
1:03:30to me that it didn't cross over in any
1:03:32way , that I ... Because I also believe
1:03:34that this energy also affects what
1:03:35happens in the body . I mean , we know
1:03:39what cortisol does to us , if only on
1:03:41that level . So if that's the case , then
1:03:43it means those other emotions also have
1:03:45some kind of influence . Well , it was
1:03:46important to me . So I would go into a
1:03:51short meditation to firmly separate it ,
1:03:53where I am and where the character is .
1:04:00It's based on the principle that I
1:04:02simply lend my body to this character
1:04:03for that time , but then I take her out
1:04:05of me . Mhm .
1:04:09>> But for example , even before talks like
1:04:11today , I don't know if you noticed or
1:04:12not , but right before turning the
1:04:14cameras on , I closed my eyes for a
1:04:16second . And it's just a kind of quick
1:04:23connection and a request to the
1:04:24universe for guidance , so that what
1:04:26needs to appear in this conversation
1:04:27does , which might be important for
1:04:29someone , and that I'm asking for that
1:04:31kind of support , you know ? I also
1:04:38really believe in angels and so on , so
1:04:40I totally trust that they're watching
1:04:42over me so I don't say something stupid
1:04:43.
1:04:46>> Okay . Alright then . Actually , a really
1:04:49nice ending . Thank you very much for
1:04:51the conversation .
1:04:52>> Thank you too .
1:04:53>> I think a lot of value can be taken
1:04:55from it . Let us know how you liked
1:04:57listening , and we'll hear each other in
1:04:59the next episode . Bye bye . M.