Full transcript
0:00Okay, so today's lesson is going to be
0:02how to kill the nice guy in you. All
0:04right?
0:05So, [sighs]
0:05bit of introduction, I used to be a nice
0:07guy. Yeah, yeah. For the people that
0:09follows me on Twitter, I don't think
0:10they know
0:11>> [laughter]
0:11>> they believe that, but whatever.
0:13And it's very hard to unwire that,
0:16especially when you've been conditioned
0:17all the time and all these years
0:20to be polite, have manners. It's not a
0:21bad thing to do or to be with other
0:23people, but when it comes to woman, that
0:25will play against you. And the thing is,
0:27I was raised Catholic. I spent my whole
0:30primary years in Catholic school. So, if
0:32you're a Christian and you think that
0:33like you can't not be a bit more,
0:36let's say, um
0:37polarizing, you can. But, you need to
0:40put yourself in the shoes of someone
0:42that is willing to change, willing to
0:43break your inner boundaries. Because
0:45really, you have the key to your own
0:47prison. But, you know, you need to find
0:50them. All right? Before I give you a few
0:52examples on how I broke the nice guy in
0:54me.
0:55Think about it this way.
0:58The way you how you can break the nice
1:01guy in you is by being a bit of more
1:03obnoxious. Be
1:05unfiltered, not only what you say, but
1:08in also in what you do.
1:10Because it is a great litmus test
1:13as to where you stand with the chick.
1:15All right? So, say for example, you say
1:16something that is borderline and the
1:19chick be like,
1:21"Ah, [ __ ] this guy. I ain't you know,
1:23this is not for me."
1:24Well,
1:25great. You basically cleared her out of
1:27your, you know, of your prospect list.
1:29Why?
1:30Because
1:33if you say something that is a bit,
1:36>> [clears throat]
1:36>> let's say, vulgar or trivial or
1:38whatever, what happens is
1:40it will filter out the people that are
1:42just wanting your attention for nothing,
1:43all right? Like they don't take you that
1:44seriously. But, if a girl really likes
1:46you, she'll give you always the benefit
1:48of the doubt. Or she's like, you know,
1:50like when Chad says something, right?
1:52And you're like, and he can get away
1:53with everything. Well, because the girl
1:54likes him, no matter what he says, it
1:55doesn't matter because it's coming from
1:57him. And then you have the girls in the
1:59middle. So when you're being ballsy,
2:01when you take risks, what it does is
2:04that the girl in the middle on the fence
2:06is like if you do it and you say it with
2:07confidence, what happens is that oh my
2:10god, you can actually say that in
2:11confidence? I mean that they he got away
2:13saying that before. Must have high value
2:16because if she doesn't know exactly
2:17where you're coming from and you are
2:19brash or you're very much
2:21in your face and being so comfortable
2:23with it, it means that you were already
2:25socially accepted. Women project social
2:27acceptance in your behavior because
2:30that's the way they function. They
2:31function as I can only be having a
2:33certain way if it has been socially
2:34accepted. So for you to be having a
2:36certain way and get away with it by you
2:39being comfortable and you not
2:41backing down whenever you do or say
2:43something, they'll feel oh he must be
2:44high value because he got away with it.
2:46So it's EV plus, expected value plus. So
2:49by you being ballsy, by you being brash,
2:50by you taking risk, what it shows to the
2:53girl is you're used to doing that [ __ ]
2:54All right.
2:56So I'll give you a few examples as to
2:59how over the course of the years
3:00different experience, positive and
3:02negative,
3:03that actually played well for me. Okay?
3:07So
3:08before I say anything here, this is a
3:09disclaimer. This is not for you to
3:12sexually assault women. Okay? But I
3:14understand how the line can be very
3:16blurry. And the thing is sometimes you
3:18have to take a little bit of risk. And
3:20the thing is even in me too and
3:22everything,
3:23the guys are not taking any risk anymore
3:24and the women hate it because, you know,
3:26it just shows that they're kind of
3:28feminine. Anyway, so the first one. So I
3:30was at university in France and
3:33um I remember there was this girl
3:35walking in front of me.
3:37Oh, she was blonde, she was fit,
3:38everything, whatever. Anyway, and
3:41she was rolling her ass.
3:43So I was walking past, you know, and
3:45it's like just behind her and I slapped
3:47her ass.
3:48And she looked at me and she's like
3:52Who said that you suck my ass?
3:55And I said to her in French, let me
3:56translate that a bit. It's like when you
3:58roll your ass like that, you're only
3:59asking for it, you know that.
4:01And then I give her that look, you know,
4:02it's that composite look.
4:06And then she's like, okay, now he gets
4:08me, I get him. And because I held the
4:11[ __ ] line, she realized that
4:13actually, oh, he's one of them guys. And
4:15that same day
4:16>> [laughter]
4:17>> I ended up in the car at the parking lot
4:19of Carrefour. You know, Carrefour is a
4:20bit like, think about Walmart in the US
4:23or think about Sainsbury in the UK.
4:26Bang, you're out.
4:28Yeah, and then there was a bit of fun in
4:29the car and, you know, and there was
4:31like at one point a a mother with her
4:33kid just parking next to us and the kid
4:35was trying to see and it's like
4:37you know, and she's like the mom was
4:38like, no, no, no, move away, move away.
4:39Anyway, ended up being my girlfriend for
4:42a few weeks.
4:43Then nothing happened. But then you may
4:45say to me, well, not my type of girl,
4:46course, not my type of girl. Well, the
4:48thing is, you know what, that girl is
4:49actually right now I can't really talk
4:51about that girl. I mean, I'm still
4:52friends with her, but
4:54she's in the public eye and she's having
4:56a high-profile job. And she's currently
4:58married to actually a guy that's in the
5:00top 1%. So, it's not because she looks
5:04proper that she has not done that type
5:07of [ __ ] but you know, she went through
5:08a bad boy phase. And that's coming from
5:10me that I've been always taught to be
5:13respectful. It's like, yeah, okay, the
5:15more respectful you are to a woman, the
5:16more that she'll think that you're a
5:17[ __ ] okay? That's the first thing. The
5:19second story is in England. I was at a
5:21bar after work drinks and
5:24I saw all these girls, okay, think about
5:26like a prototype, like Essex girls,
5:28whatever, like Essex girl, I can't like
5:30the girl that I trust a bit slaggy.
5:33And a pure slaggy, you know, all the
5:34extensions, the fillers, you know,
5:37Barbie doll [ __ ] Anyway, and they
5:39were like three out of four of them were
5:41wearing like cougar tops. Like cougar
5:43tops and
5:44I said, I I need to take a picture of
5:45that. But I tried to sneak one picture,
5:47you know, just kind of like
5:49And then one of them
5:50found me
5:52taking the picture and they said, "Are
5:53you taking a picture of us?"
5:55And [sighs and gasps] then I was caught
5:56off guard, right? I was I thought I was
5:58being, you know, how you call it, uh
6:02quiet and discreet. Uh so much for that.
6:05So, "Are you taking a picture of us?" I
6:06was like, "Well,
6:08isn't that what you're supposed to do
6:08when you're having a safari?" Looking at
6:10their dress and chewing with them, you
6:12know.
6:14>> [laughter]
6:14>> And the funny thing is they laughed.
6:16They laughed because I thought, "My god,
6:17the cheek this guy has to even say and
6:19do something that is not socially
6:21acceptable and actually just go and roll
6:24with it." You know, that's the thing.
6:26All right. Third one is
6:28This one was like going on a date.
6:30That's why I [ __ ] hate dates and
6:31[ __ ] It's like because it's very
6:34uh
6:36plain and boring and, you know, you
6:38can't do as many crazy shits what you do
6:40on night game. Anyway. And
6:43with this one is like I knew that she
6:44wanted to take it slow in terms of, you
6:46know, getting to know one another. I
6:48need to feel emotionally safe. Yeah,
6:49yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not your [ __ ]
6:51nanny, [ __ ] But, anyway, I pretended
6:53that actually.
6:54Uh that was part of the game. And then
6:55what I did is
6:57I poked the boundaries.
6:59I went to see what I could get away
7:00with.
7:01Because people say, "Oh yeah, you got to
7:02respect a woman's boundaries." No, no,
7:04no, no, no. A woman boundary is a
7:06function upon her attraction to you. The
7:07more attracted she is to you, the less
7:09boundary she has. Simple as that, right?
7:11So, the more boundary she has with you,
7:12that means that she's not that attracted
7:14to you because if it's not you, someone
7:16else will have less of a boundary. The
7:17idea and the fallacy that guys think is
7:20that woman's emotional state being
7:22constant because their emotion will
7:23define the scope of the boundaries she
7:25has with you. So,
7:27she went along at first, but then she
7:29was like, "No, no, no, I can't do it
7:30anymore." And I was like, "All right,
7:32fine, fair enough." And then we ended up
7:34on a date. I'm never going to see her
7:35again. But, the point being is
7:37>> [snorts]
7:37>> you cannot know exactly how you can
7:40navigate with a girl
7:42by not poking those boundaries because
7:44when you poke those boundaries it's a
7:45way of you challenging her verbally. And
7:47when you challenging her verbally, it
7:49shows to her that you're not showing
7:52that you're not taking what she says at
7:53face value. When you always take what a
7:55woman says at face value, it shows a
7:57nice guy-ism.
7:58All right?
8:00And it will work it won't work, okay?
8:02But the main reason why I say do those
8:05type of stuff, be willing to break the
8:07conventions, it is because those
8:09conventions are what are conditioning
8:11you to be too nice, to be too
8:13respectful, to be too pandering
8:16indirectly, really. And this is not like
8:19a
8:20advice for people that are been more
8:22advanced in game or intermediate. It's
8:23an advice for beginners because when
8:25you're a nice guy you're a beginner,
8:27okay? So you need to break that nice guy
8:29[clears throat]
8:30cocoon and you must not hide your dick.
8:33And when you do that,
8:35you're not looking for positive
8:37outcomes. Great if you do have positive
8:38outcome, but you're not looking for
8:39them. You're looking
8:42to get yourself comfortable in situation
8:44where there's going to be pushback and
8:46that you need to hold the [ __ ] line
8:48because otherwise, whether it is in
8:50texting, whether it is in your dates,
8:52whatsoever, you'll be looking at
8:55filling the rapport gap because you want
8:57to make it work. And what happens is
8:58when you want to make it work then
8:59you're not a challenge to the girl.
9:01That's why they [ __ ] hate nice guy
9:03because they're boring, because they
9:04don't create any emotional ups and
9:06downs. And then you cannot be
9:08emotionally relevant, therefore you
9:09cannot have a second date or you cannot
9:10have anything going forward. And for you
9:13to be able to get to the next stage, you
9:15need to put yourself out of your comfort
9:17zone. You need to test and you need to
9:19challenge the stuff that have been
9:20taught to you. Okay?
9:23It's the same thing like let me try and
9:25find another example. Imagine someone is
9:27trying to sell you something and they're
9:29being overly nice. Then you know that
9:31the person is so desperate to sell you
9:34that [ __ ] because he's trying to seek
9:35that rapport with you. But, however, if
9:38let's say you deal with someone that is
9:40kind of like almost rude to you, I mean,
9:42it's pretty good coming from a
9:43Frenchman, right? Then, you already
9:45understand or feel that he doesn't need
9:47your money.
9:48And when he doesn't need your money,
9:50you're more likely to trust him. And
9:51well, it's the same thing with girls.
9:53And I remember I was working in
9:55cybersecurity a few years ago, and um
9:58there were ex-Salesforce people
10:01that came into the company. It was a big
10:02company that got bought out by Oracle,
10:04but I'm not going to say any more about
10:05it. But, anyway, and they came in and
10:07they had that arrogance. They had that
10:09type of entitlement. But, why? It's
10:11because they were trained at Salesforce.
10:13Salesforce was a hot [ __ ] back then. And
10:15Salesforce being the hot [ __ ] back then,
10:16they didn't need to beg and plead for
10:21the sale because everybody was buying
10:23Salesforce. It was hot as cupcakes.
10:26Well, that's the same thing. If you
10:27don't believe you're Salesforce, then
10:29you're more likely going to show that
10:32you're some type of small-ass vendors
10:34that is desperate for to get business.
10:36And nobody likes to do business with
10:37someone that is desperate. Okay, well,
10:39it's the same thing. Being a nice guy is
10:40showing desperation. Even though you may
10:42not necessarily be desperate, that's
10:43what you convey. That's what you
10:44communicate. That's why it's important
10:46for you to basically embrace a bit more
10:48of that rudeness. Embrace a bit more of
10:49that obnoxiousness. And then, what
10:51happens is whenever you have interaction
10:52with girls and there are conflict,
10:54you're not going to try to always
10:55appease the conflict. You're willing to
10:57creating more tension than the tension
10:58she creates. You're actually showing
11:00her, "I've got the [ __ ] balls and
11:02I've got the backbone to sustain that
11:03shit." So, that is very important. And
11:05the last thing I want to focus on is
11:07like, you can learn as many
11:10micro-tactics, text game this, or like,
11:13"Oh, I'm going to use that line." And
11:14and this and that. But, if your
11:16hardwiring or your software and whatever
11:19is inside your head is still conditioned
11:21by that nice guy syndrome, it will fail
11:23because whenever it's going to be
11:24tension, whenever there's going to be a
11:25test, whenever there's going to be an
11:27uncertainty, you'll default back to that
11:29mode of thinking. And this goes back to
11:32conversation I had with a guy recently
11:34saying
11:35because I said to him, "Stop trying so
11:37hard." because he was looking at the
11:38macro tactics and everything. And I
11:40said, "Just don't think. Just do what
11:42you want to do." So, he was being
11:43authentic, really. But because he's
11:45still hardwiring into the I'm not taking
11:48a risk. I don't want to break rapport.
11:50Then he placates and panders to the
11:52woman. So, even though he knows the
11:54tactics, the strategy, and everything,
11:56if his meta is not right, then you're
11:59going to default to that mode. And
12:02that's why you need to strengthen your
12:05mental frame, okay? That's why I created
12:08Masculine Meta is to make sure the guys
12:10have that self-certainty, that how they
12:13value themselves, how they can be
12:16courageous, how they can self-accept
12:18themselves, and how they can have that
12:19masculine frame, that leadership, and
12:21inspire respect.
12:23So, then afterwards, whenever they
12:25operate the game tactics, whatever, it
12:28flows smoothly, all right? But again,
12:31this advice is not for advanced or
12:34intermediate because also it will depend
12:35upon the girls, you know, what I say, if
12:37you deal with higher-up girls, type of
12:39stuff, you're more likely going to have
12:40to be indirect. You're going to have to
12:41be more subtle. But when you cannot
12:44break the inner boundaries that stop you
12:46from being ballsy, then what's going to
12:49happen is you're always going to fail at
12:52the first hurdle.
12:53Okay?
12:55All right. I hope that was helpful. And
12:56if you want to check that course
12:58Masculine Meta, that is there to break
13:00you of that nice guy syndrome. I left it
13:02on the link down below alongside the
13:03fraternity community link, which once
13:05you get Masculine Meta, you have access
13:07to the fraternity. And if you want to
13:08also improve the game side of things
13:11with not only tactics, but just mindset
13:13and just frameworks,
13:16I left the closer link down on the
13:18description below.
13:19Anyway, on this one, I'll see you next
13:20time.