I’m 65. If I Could Go Back to 50, I’d Ruthlessly Cut Out These 5 Things

0:00I'm 65. If I could go back to 50, there

0:04are five things I would ruthlessly cut

0:07out of my life.

0:09Not because they destroy your life, they

0:11are much more subtle than that. They

0:14quietly take your time, energy, and

0:17happiness. And I didn't realize it until

0:20I was 60.

0:22Some of these things I kept far too long

0:25and I cut too late, and I paid for that.

0:28I can't go back and recover those years,

0:32but at 65, I can decide what I'll not

0:35carry into the next decade.

0:38So, here are the five things I wish I'd

0:41ruthlessly cut at 50. Number one, toxic

0:44relationships. Assess everyone in your

0:47life, including family members and close

0:50friends. Does spending time with them

0:53drain your energy?

0:55Do they respect your boundaries, or do

0:59they just make you feel crap in general?

1:02Time is your most precious asset. Every

1:05minute you spend with someone who only

1:08takes from you or makes you feel bad

1:12is it's a minute stolen from you.

1:15You don't owe them all your time and

1:18energy.

1:19I know it's not always easy if it's a

1:22close family member or a very long time

1:26friend.

1:27You may still feel that you have

1:30obligations to them.

1:32But you can find a way to minimize

1:34contact while fulfilling those

1:37obligations. You don't have to feel

1:39guilty for protecting your peace.

1:42So, it's worth asking whether you're

1:44still seeing someone because you enjoy

1:47their company or just because you've

1:51known them for years, for example.

1:53Number two, regret. You've made

1:56mistakes. I know I have.

1:59Far too many to mention in this video.

2:02But here's how I try to think of them

2:05now. They were experiments. Some of them

2:08didn't work. Some of them did.

2:11But I learned something from all of them

2:13and that helped me make the next

2:15decision.

2:17What can I use from the experience and

2:21learn from it next time I'm facing a

2:24similar situation?

2:26You'll have moments you wish you could

2:29change, things you maybe should have

2:31done differently, um words you should or

2:37shouldn't have said.

2:39But you can't jump into a time machine

2:41and whiz back and change what happened.

2:45So living with regret is like having a

2:49ball and chain permanently attached to

2:53your leg.

2:55It drags along,

2:58weighing you down, sapping your energy.

3:01If you can put something right, by all

3:03means do it. If you owe someone an

3:07apology, yes, give it.

3:10I'm not saying the mistake didn't matter

3:13at all or that you should pretend it

3:15never happened. You've got to be

3:17accountable for it.

3:19But once you've learned the lesson, you

3:21don't have to keep punishing yourself.

3:24Then forgive yourself from it. Move

3:27forward and I'll share how I do that

3:31later in the video.

3:33You've got to focus on what's in front

3:35of you, not what's in the rearview

3:37mirror. Number three, believing it's too

3:40late. It's not too late to begin

3:43something new. You can create a

3:45different life for yourself or build

3:47something meaningful at any age.

3:50What often stands in your way is your

3:53mindset.

3:55The thing that's going on between your

3:57ears.

3:58There there are plenty of examples of

4:01people who changed career in their 50s,

4:05um starting a business maybe in their

4:0660s.

4:08Some of them even go off to university

4:10for the first time in their 70s.

4:12Now, you might look at those examples

4:15and say, "Well, they're exceptional."

4:19Perhaps they are.

4:21But, you don't have to build a

4:22successful business or write a

4:25best-selling novel

4:27to make a meaningful change to your

4:30life.

4:31It might be something really simple like

4:33learning to paint watercolors or one of

4:36my favorites, baking sourdough bread. Or

4:39maybe you want to start volunteering.

4:41The point is that you are still allowed

4:45to begin. It's okay being a learner

4:48again.

4:50You don't have to do any of those

4:52things, but don't decide you can't

4:56before you've even tried just because of

4:59your age.

5:01I started this YouTube channel at 63.

5:05If I told myself that my best years were

5:07behind me,

5:09"I'm too old,

5:10can't be asked to learn." You wouldn't

5:13be watching this video.

5:15I had to learn how to make a video, talk

5:18to camera, and find out whether anybody

5:22was interested in what I had to say.

5:25Each day, I'm still learning.

5:28I learn something new.

5:30I know that age can place genuine limits

5:33on you, but it doesn't mean every

5:35opportunity has disappeared.

5:38What's the thing you want to try that

5:40you keep telling yourself you're too old

5:43to do?

5:45Give it a go.

5:46Number four, comparing. I'm thinking in

5:49particular of comparing yourself with

5:52your younger self,

5:54that younger version of you, or maybe

5:57with people in general.

6:00Too many people over 50 talk about the

6:02good old days,

6:04remembering their younger selves through

6:07rose-tinted spectacles.

6:09Now, I'm going to ask you a question.

6:12What good old days were they?

6:15Because I remember the power cuts of the

6:171970s.

6:19I remember the 15% mortgage rate I had

6:22to endure when I bought my first house

6:25in the 1980s.

6:27And I can't forget the recession of the

6:30early 1990s.

6:31I started a business then and nearly

6:33went bust twice during that one.

6:37Now, that's not me looking back at a

6:39golden age, I can tell you. I remember

6:42the anxiety of wondering whether

6:45the business would even survive, and how

6:48the hell was I going to pay the

6:50mortgage.

6:52The good old days. Yeah, right.

6:55Now, I know there are things you could

6:57do when you were younger that you can't

7:00do now.

7:02Take lifting weights, for example.

7:05I was never somebody who could bench

7:07press 100 kilos,

7:09but I certainly can't get anywhere near

7:12close to that now.

7:14And, given a choice, I use machines in

7:18the gym, not free weights, because I

7:20want to protect myself from injury.

7:23These days, it's a 56 kilo, that's about

7:26120 lb, on the seated chest press, just

7:30in case you're interested.

7:32You can spend your time feeling envious

7:35of the young.

7:37And you can be upset about what you've

7:40lost,

7:41your hair,

7:42your looks,

7:44your slim waist.

7:46But that mindset will only lead to

7:49endless frustration.

7:51The truth is,

7:53you've evolved. We all do.

7:56Because you've lived an actual life.

8:01You're not supposed to be who you were

8:03at 30 or 40.

8:06I make different choices at 65 because I

8:09have a much better idea of what I want

8:12and what I don't want.

8:15That's the point of this video.

8:17And that knowledge and experience of

8:19life is something that my younger self

8:22did not have.

8:24It didn't matter how fit or energetic he

8:28may have been, he hadn't lived life yet.

8:32You have something that your younger

8:34self didn't have.

8:36Experience and perspective.

8:40Use them wisely.

8:41For me, YouTube is an outlet for sharing

8:45what I've learned in life.

8:47And also for sharing what I've learned

8:49in business. Now, your outlet may be

8:51something entirely different. Just find

8:54a way to use what you know. Don't let

8:57all that experience go to waste because

9:01you think your contribution is over.

9:05Be an elder, not an oldie. Number five,

9:09emotional and mental baggage. The

9:11grudges and resentments you've been

9:14holding for 20, 30, 40 years.

9:18The promotion you didn't get.

9:20The recognition somebody else got. The

9:23business partner you think stabbed you

9:25in the back.

9:27I have to admit I used to think that way

9:29a lot.

9:31It wasn't my fault, it was them. Of

9:33course it was. It couldn't possibly be

9:35me, right? Exactly. It's very easy to

9:39build a story in your head about why

9:43someone else was to blame.

9:47I'd often go over an old conversation or

9:50experience and think about what I should

9:52have said.

9:54Years and years after the other person

9:57had probably completely forgotten about

9:59it.

10:00I was still having the argument with

10:02myself.

10:03Holding on to old pain.

10:06And And look, the reality is that won't

10:08change the past, but it can screw up

10:11your present.

10:13In my last video, I mentioned a simple

10:16exercise that I did. Here it is again in

10:19just a little bit more detail.

10:21When I was 60, we downsized. And before

10:24we moved, I had a little bonfire in the

10:26barbecue in the garden.

10:29I wrote the names of people that I felt

10:31had wronged me on small pieces of paper.

10:34Some of these people hadn't been part of

10:36my life for many decades, yet I was

10:38still holding on to what had happened.

10:42I'm thinking about old teachers, bosses,

10:45colleagues, business partners, and

10:47former friends.

10:48And some of those grudges went all the

10:50way back to my teens.

10:52Now, so what I did was

10:54I threw each name

10:56into the fire and said, "I forgive you."

11:00But I didn't stop there.

11:02I'm not perfect.

11:04And I haven't always treated others

11:06well.

11:08>> [snorts]

11:08>> I thought about the people I'd wronged.

11:12And some of the names were the same as

11:13the ones that I had written down

11:16earlier.

11:17And I threw them into the fire and said,

11:20"I'm sorry."

11:21Now, it didn't change what had happened.

11:23How could it? But it helped me stop

11:25carrying those old arguments around in

11:27my head. You don't need a barbecue to do

11:29this, but if there's a name you've been

11:31carrying

11:33in your head for years,

11:36think about whether it's time to put it

11:37on a piece of paper and burn it. So,

11:40those are the five things I would

11:42ruthlessly cut.

11:44You'll have your own list, I'm sure.

11:46Please share it in the comments. It

11:48might help someone. And I'd also be

11:51interested to hear what you have to say.

11:54If this video resonated with you, watch

11:56this one next. It's about the things I

11:59don't care about now I'm 65.

12:02Thanks for watching. I'll see you next

12:04time.