Friends Power Hour

0:05no one told you that was gonna be this

0:10[Music]

0:14way

0:22[Music]

0:25i'll be there

0:30[Music]

0:38[Music]

0:42oh

0:43[Applause]

0:45just cleansing myself i uh i

0:48i well i felt something was it like a

0:51sneeze only better

0:54no no i mean i mean like a thing on my

0:57body

0:58what was it well i i don't know it's

1:00it's kind of in a place that's not

1:03it's not visually accessible to me and i

1:06was

1:06hoping maybe you guys could could help

1:08me out why

1:12come on you guys it's no big deal

1:16huh what is it is it a mole

1:23no it's too wrinkly to be a mole ew is

1:26it what a pimple

1:31no it's fancier than a pimple

1:35look ross why don't you just go

1:43okay well it's definite two more weeks

1:45of winter

1:46hi ross you remember susan

1:50how could i forget ross hello susan

1:54good shake good shake

1:58so uh we're just waiting for dr oberman

2:01dr openman okay and is he

2:03she of course she

2:07she uh familiar with our special

2:10situation yes and she's very supportive

2:13great okay that's great

2:17no one oh thanks

2:35[Laughter]

2:41that opens my cervix

2:52so is there like a story or do they just

2:55start doing it right

2:56oh never mind okay now wait a minute

3:00that is the craziest typing test i've

3:02ever seen

3:04all i say is she better get the job

3:07looks to me like he's the one getting

3:08the job

3:12okay here i come here i come see i'm

3:14coming to fix the copier

3:15i can't get to the copier i'm thinking

3:17what do i do what do i do

3:21so i just watch him have sex

3:27and then i say wait here's my line you

3:29know that's bad for the paper tray

3:34nice work my friend thank you wait wait

3:36wait wait you see me again

3:37hang on the guy's butt's blocking me

3:41there i am there i am there i am

3:46you were right apparently it's it's

3:49about a young girl who moves to the big

3:51city

3:52you know in search of stardom but ends

3:53up having sex with a lot of guys

3:56yeah i got four stars oh wait a minute

4:00those aren't stars anyway you want to

4:03take a look

4:04well i'm not really in a sexy mood right

4:07now

4:09hey what's going on well

4:12remember the first time you saw jaws how

4:15long it took to go back in the water

4:20we can't let this tape wreck valentine's

4:23day you don't know

4:24you didn't see it childbirth is it's a

4:26natural thing it's beautiful

4:28oh beautiful really look really you

4:31think this is beautiful

4:33oh

4:37oh my god no wonder my mother hates me

4:43see honey there's don't touch me move on

4:48oh you are a petty man you are a

4:51petty petty petty petty

5:00you are so just doing this out of spite

5:03no no no i'm i'm gonna wear this all the

5:05time i love this shirt

5:08you have not worn that t-shirt since you

5:09were 15. it doesn't even fit you anymore

5:12oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh look

5:16okay okay

5:25[Applause]

5:28if you don't mind i'm gonna take the

5:30rest of my stuff

5:32and relax

5:35in my favorite shirt

5:39you have a pleasant evening

5:50janice

5:54all right

5:58well well there you go

6:08[Applause]

6:09[Music]

6:12here's the thing janice you know i mean

6:14it's like we're different you know i'm

6:15like the bing bing bing you're like the

6:17boom boom

6:19my boom ow i'm so sorry are you okay

6:22now um it's just my lens that's my lens

6:26um

6:31i hit her in the eye i hit her in the

6:33eye this is the worst

6:35breakup in the history of the world oh

6:37my god

6:40okay how many of those have you had oh i

6:43don't know

6:44a million

6:48well i told you it was chandler who was

6:50smoking

6:52the pot but

6:55it was me i'm sorry it was you

7:00and dad you know that mailman that you

7:01got fired didn't steal your playboys

7:04ross did

7:11yeah well hurricane gloria didn't break

7:13the porch swing monica dead

7:18ross hasn't worked at the museum for a

7:19year

7:22monica and chandler are living together

7:27boss married rachel and vegas and got

7:30divorced

7:31again i love shaku stone

7:38i wasn't supposed to put beef in the

7:40trifle

7:43i want to go nobody is allowed to climb

7:46on the dinosaur

7:48but of course this went right in one ear

7:50i love how he cares so much about stuff

7:53if i squint i can pretend he's alan alda

7:59oh good another dinosaur story

8:03[Music]

8:04one of those gonna become extinct

8:10if i was a superhero who could fly and

8:12be invisible

8:13that would be the best

8:20what does rachel see in this guy

8:25i love rachel

8:29i wish he was my wife

8:44who's singing look at this clown

8:47just because he got a bigger boat he

8:49thinks he can take up the whole river

8:51get out of the way jackass

8:56names in both coast guard anyway

9:01that is the coast guard what are they

9:03doing out here

9:04coast is all the way over there so we

9:07just ignore the boats all right we're

9:09not finished with our lesson yet

9:10all right okay i'm just gonna go over

9:12the basic point one more time you ready

9:14come on race not again i got it okay

9:16let's start sailing

9:17and i wanna go over there where that

9:18boatload of girls is

9:22oh okay is that what you want to do you

9:23want to go over get a little shout out

9:24to the old hot chicas huh

9:26okay let's do that sailor joe quick

9:29question though

9:31what's this called uh boat bro wrong

9:37how do you get the main sail up uh

9:40rub it

9:48no

9:51[Applause]

9:54[Music]

9:55[Applause]

10:02wow

10:06did the tv wake you no when you put your

10:09feet up on my bed

10:10you tugged on my catheter

10:17ouchy

10:20what are you doing here keller well i

10:22came with rachel who who should be back

10:24any second

10:26so what's new oh i had a little heart

10:28attack

10:30right is it painful what the heart

10:32attack is sitting here talking to you

10:37let's see if we can get that rachel back

10:38in here so what's new with you guys

10:41knocked up any more my daughters lately

10:43nope just the one right

10:47all right the the important thing is to

10:50take your time

10:51you want to hit them all and you want to

10:54mix them up you got to keep them on

10:55their toes

11:00[Applause]

11:02yeah for some people all right

11:07you could uh start out with a little one

11:11a two a one two three

11:15a three a five

11:19a four a three two

11:22two a two four six two four

11:26six four two

11:30two or seven

11:33five seven six seven seven

11:37seven seven seven seven

11:49[Music]

11:50[Laughter]

11:53ross hey roomies

11:59love what you're done with the place

12:00well here i know i know it's a lot of

12:02boxes but again i

12:04i really appreciate you guys letting me

12:06stay here not a problem

12:07and listen hey since you're gonna be

12:09here for a while i was thinking we uh

12:11put your name on the answer machine oh

12:12no

12:13oh i uh i hope you don't mind but i kind

12:15of already

12:16jazzed it up a little check it out

12:26we will we will call you back

12:31hey it's pretty cool

12:37you're fake laughing too right the tears

12:39are real

12:42hey everybody happy thanksgiving no no

12:44no no no no

12:46what are we keeping thanksgiving a

12:47secret this year

12:50no we were playing this game i learned

12:51to work you have to name all the states

12:53in six minutes

12:54what that's like insanely easy no it's a

12:57lot harder than it sounds you always

12:59forget at least one or in some cases

13:0214. it's a stupid game and i wasn't

13:06playing against other people so

13:07technically i didn't lose

13:08what you forgot 14 states nobody cares

13:12about the dakotas

13:15oh okay time's up okay all right i got

13:1748.

13:18oh it's not bad babes oh i got tired of

13:21naming states so i decided to list

13:23the types of celery and

13:26i have one regular salary okay so

13:29rachel's got 48

13:31and phoebe has the lead in

13:35vegetables joey say hello to the new

13:38champ of chandler's dumb states game

13:41well how many you got 56.

13:46bill look at lizzy like she's a

13:4812-year-old girl

13:50yeah you know what i know what you mean

13:51i do that too

13:55i beg your pardon no no i'm not i don't

13:57mean i

13:58i see her as a 12 year old girl i mean i

14:00have a son

14:01who's um six and i still think of him as

14:04a baby you have a son

14:05yeah well my my ex-wife and i uh share

14:07custody of ben

14:09and um uh and just so you know carol and

14:11i are in excellent terms as i'm sure you

14:13are with your wife so

14:15i'm sorry it's unbelievable

14:20don't worry about it i just didn't

14:22realize you were married

14:23oh we were but that was just a

14:29i mean that was just a big drunken

14:31mistake

14:35you're back

14:39you two were married oh whoops i'm sorry

14:42you were talking about emily

14:50ross did i ever tell you about the time

14:52that i went backpacking through western

14:56europe

15:03okay get ready to see some begging

15:07oh you came on to ross

15:10what well i'm so happy

15:14what are you talking about you use the

15:17europe story

15:18that's the magic story you use when you

15:20want to have sex

15:24how do you know about that story how do

15:26you know about that storm

15:29i heard it from my friend irene who

15:31heard it from some guy

15:33some guy

15:38no no she told me that his name was ken

15:41adams

15:47argentinosaurus not to mention cold

15:52soros

15:54and that's just the herbivores i'm not

15:56even going to discuss the carnivores

15:58their heads are already too big which is

16:01ironic considering their stunted

16:02cerebral development

16:09really

16:12but all kidding aside in much the same

16:15way that homo

16:16gaster is now thought to be a separate

16:18species from homo erectus

16:24what he said erectus

16:27you're you're kidding right no you

16:29really said it

16:33and while there are certainly vast

16:35differences between these mesozoic

16:37fossils

16:38and the example of homo erectus

16:43correct us

16:45[Music]

16:46your tailor is a very bad man

16:53frankie what are you talking about hey

16:55what's going on

17:01joey's taylor

17:06took advantage of me

17:10what no way i've been going to the guy

17:12for 12

17:13years oh come on he said he was gonna do

17:15my inseam then he ran his hand up my leg

17:18and then there was definite

17:20what cupping

17:27that's how they do pants

17:31first they go up one side they move it

17:33over then they go up the other side they

17:35move it back and then they do the rear

17:40what ross will you tell them isn't that

17:43how taylor measures pants

17:44yes yes it is in prison

17:48uh would you take one of us uh

17:52yeah sure

17:55click it didn't click

17:58i heard it see i heard it but there was

18:00no flash why won't you take our picture

18:04oh yeah i'll i'll take i'll take your

18:05picture

18:08um your finger was covering the lens ooh

18:11you ansel adams get out of here

18:17all right why don't you go up on stage

18:18i've got a picture of you doing the

18:19speech okay

18:29[Music]

18:39will the owner of a 1995 buick lesabre

18:42please see the front desk your car is

18:44about to be towed

18:46isn't that isn't that the the the short

18:49story you were writing

18:51yes yes it is the short story that i was

18:54writing

18:55in a minute well let me read it no

19:00come on hey uh why don't you read it to

19:08her

19:12[Applause]

19:14all right

19:25it was summer

19:29and it was hot rachel was there

19:36a lonely gray couch

19:41oh look cried ned

19:44and then the kingdom was his forever the

19:46end

19:50you take that back no take it back no

19:53what are you gonna do make me hey man i

19:56work out

19:59so do i i do pilates i do yoga

20:02bring it on put the plates back in the

20:05just put the plates back in the boxes

20:09did you just push me uh yeah i think i

20:11did all right that's it

20:12okay forget the bubble wrap there is a

20:14time

20:18crazy

20:20[Applause]

20:24oh my god shouldn't we stop this out of

20:27your mind let's throw some jello on them

20:46well just until we find an energy source

20:49to

20:50replace fuel oh

20:53well i'll write you every day

20:5615 yemen road yemen

21:02goodbye goodbye

21:22janice there you are there you are i had

21:24to have one last kiss and

21:25and also also you said you were gonna

21:27leave right after i got on the plane

21:30no no i i want to see you take off

21:34well then i guess i'm going to yemen

21:38i'm going to yemen

21:42when we get to yemen can i stay with you

21:53where the hell is everybody why don't

21:58you

21:58like me

22:01[Music]

22:04chapter one my first period

22:13well i bet you're all thinking that now

22:14would be a really great time for an

22:16intermission huh

22:17oh yes god yes

22:20well you're not gonna get one because in

22:23life there are no intermissions people

22:27now chapter seven divorce is a

22:30four-letter word

22:33how could he leave me

22:37i don't know you seem lovely

22:42how bad is it not that bad yet but it

22:45keeps getting darker for the next four

22:46hours

22:47so how dark is it gonna get well you got

22:49sprayed with two

22:50twos and i'm a four yeah

22:54but your back's a zero you're gonna want

22:56to even that out

22:57really you might want to get back in

23:00there

23:02[Laughter]

23:06okay

23:11wait wait a minute there's no light on

23:13the back wall how do i know when it's

23:15going to start

23:20hello

23:34the same thing happened again you got

23:37two more tools

23:38i'm an eight oh i'm sorry

23:42excuse me we had this cart

23:45yeah well i had a 24 inch waist you lose

23:47things now come on

23:48get out of my way i'm sorry you know

23:51maybe i wasn't being clear

23:53uh this was our car hey hey hey there

23:55aren't any clothes in it

23:56hey hey hey hey quit making up rules let

23:59go

24:00come on

24:03all right listen mincy if you want this

24:05card you're gonna have to take me

24:06with it

24:30okay um uh more clothes in the dryer

24:37i'm fine i'm fine

24:40yeah so i'm waiting for an elevator hey

24:46ray

24:46can i borrow your eyelash curler i think

24:48i lost mine yeah

25:03[Applause]

25:12yes yes

25:17you and and you

25:21yes but you cannot tell anyone no one

25:22knows how

25:24when it happened in london

25:27in london

25:31the reason we didn't tell anyone was

25:32because we didn't want to make a big

25:34deal out of it

25:35but it is a big deal i have to tell

25:38somebody

25:40i'm not gonna hit you why not you'll

25:42feel better i'll feel better and you

25:44know you want to i can see it in your

25:45eyes

25:47no i don't a little bit no a little bit

25:52no a little bit more okay oh hit me give

25:55me the bag hit me

25:56joey give me the bag hit me joe i'm not

25:58kidding hit me no hit me hit me hit me

26:12[Applause]

26:14you don't i'm sorry it was a reflex

26:17oh my god this this really hurts i

26:20couldn't help it

26:21when a fist comes at your face you duck

26:23look

26:24oh what is the matter with you

26:29you was supposed to talk why didn't you

26:31die why don't we talk about this on the

26:33way to the hospital good good yeah maybe

26:35while we're there they can check your

26:36reflexes

26:40full points yeah come on if you get five

26:43cool points you get to make someone take

26:45off one item of clothing

26:46it hasn't happened yet but we're all

26:48very excited

26:50okay come on daddy needs a new pair of

26:53electromagnetic microscopes for the

26:55prehistoric forensics department

27:03okay take pinkie tuscadero up to

27:06inspiration point collect

27:07three cool points yeah which gives me

27:11five and let's see who is going to lose

27:13their clothes

27:14um i think i pick our strip poker

27:17sponsor

27:18mr joey tribiani

27:23all right relax it's just a shoe

27:28okay your band is playing at arnold's

27:30collect three cool

27:31points which means i have five

27:34and that means i get joey's boxers

27:40you know i rarely connect with someone

27:42this much on the first date

27:46me neither i i've had a really good time

27:50too you know

27:54are you gonna eat that bread oh i i just

27:57like the smell

28:02you make me laugh

28:03[Music]

28:05would you like to move over to the couch

28:08mm-hmm

28:13maybe i'll just turn down the lights a

28:15little

28:16how about all the way okay

28:27wow cool poster or should i say

28:30groovy poster

28:34so uh dad where were we

28:40she wants it i'm going in

28:54what the hell are you doing

28:57say something clever

29:01okay doesn't have to be clever just has

29:04to be words say

29:06some words any

29:09words will do

29:13oh my god this is the longest that

29:16anyone has not

29:18talked ever

29:22there is nothing you could say to make

29:24this worse so

29:25just say something

29:30i i i haven't had sex in a very long

29:33time

29:38yeah you really shouldn't have said

29:39anything okay

29:41you have 30 seconds

29:45the lightning round begins stop it

29:50now what was monica's nickname when she

29:52was a field hockey goalie big fat goalie

29:54correct

29:58rachel claims this is her favorite movie

30:01dangerous liaisons correct

30:02her actual favorite movie is weekend at

30:04bernie's correct

30:07in what part of her body did monica get

30:09a pencil stuck

30:10at age 14. oh

30:15you know

30:19her ear

30:23all right monica categorizes her towels

30:26how many categories

30:27are there okay everyday use fancy guest

30:30fancy guest two seconds die 11

30:3411 unbelievable 11 is correct

30:40this is a two-way street

30:45really really

30:48now this all better be here when i come

30:50back

30:52yeah of course i can control myself

31:08stop staring at me

31:21what just a tiny little

31:30oh

31:32[Music]

31:38i'm not even sorry

31:41see i don't know for me it would have to

31:43be chantal oh

31:48she had the smoothest skin i mean when i

31:50stuck that dollar bill in her g-string

31:53and grazed her thumb phase three

31:56i just achieved phase three really i am

32:00totally picturing you with all those

32:01women

32:04that's that's not phase three well i'm

32:06there too

32:09well are we all together like in a group

32:11stop it you're killing me i think i just

32:14moved on facebook

32:15oh what is that what is that well i

32:17don't want to have a relationship ever i

32:18just want to have sex with strippers and

32:20my friends

32:22all right ladies here's what we're going

32:23to do you are going to take off my

32:25clothes

32:27you two go get the oils and you just

32:30constantly scream at the top of your

32:31voice chandler's the king chandler's the

32:33king

32:35i i want to be with her i like her oh

32:37that's fine go with your instincts go

32:38with your instincts

32:42how do i look oh um i don't care

32:45[Laughter]

32:50there's lorraine okay now remember no

32:53trading

32:53you get the pretty one i get the mess hi

32:56jelly

33:01well well look what you brought

33:04very nice and what did you bring

33:10she's checking her coat joey i'm gonna

33:14go watch the cab smell

33:15off my hands will you get me a white

33:17zinfandel and a glass of red for jets

33:25janice janice

33:30oh my god

33:38hey it's princess in comment okay hey

33:42hey

33:42babsteen was a very well respected

33:50come astronomer

33:55i can't believe this all right well you

33:58know

33:59i guess we know what we have to do to

34:00get down yeah i guess we don't have a

34:05help choice please help us

34:08we're stuck up on the roof and we can't

34:11get down

34:14ross i was thinking we'd just go down

34:18the fire escape

34:21i know i wasn't finished

34:26but don't worry we're gonna go

34:30down the fire escape

34:34what the hell was that a lesson

34:37in the importance of unagi

34:43you're a freak perhaps

34:49now i'm curious at what point during

34:51those girlish screams would you have

34:53begun to kick my ass

34:58all right so we weren't prepared

35:02i'm sorry i had to take such drastic

35:04measures to make my point but i

35:06look i just want you guys to be safe oh

35:14danger

35:16huh unagi

35:31salmon skin roll

35:37bob here oh hi

35:40so uh you met someone huh yes yes i did

35:44in fact i had sex with him two hours ago

35:50so uh how was he

36:03oh bob he was nothing compared to you

36:10i divide my lip to keep from screaming

36:11your name

36:15well that makes me feel so good

36:19it was just so awkward and bumpy

36:23well maybe he has some kind of uh new uh

36:26cool style

36:27that you're not familiar with and uh

36:29maybe you have to get used to it well

36:30there really wasn't much time to get

36:32used to it if you know what i mean

36:34can you hear anything oh yeah somebody

36:37just said can you hear anything

36:44hey joey's ass

36:49what are you doing well even when they

36:51got in that big fight and

36:53broke up and we were all stuck in here

36:54all night with no food or anything

36:56well when ross said rachel at the

36:58wedding i figured it was gonna happen

36:59again

37:00you know so i hid this in here

37:03candy bars crossword puzzles oh man

37:06lamps fine

37:10condoms

37:13and you don't know how long we're gonna

37:15be in here

37:17we may have to repopulate the earth

37:21and condoms are the way to do that

37:26everyone i would like to make a toast

37:30to rachel and joey

37:47l is for life and what is life without

37:51love oh my god are we supposed to answer

37:57o is for

38:01oh wow

38:06the v is for this

38:10very surprising turn of events

38:14which i am still fine with by the way

38:19e

38:24is for how extremely

38:28normal i find it that you two

38:34are together please tell me you know

38:37which one is our baby

38:40well that one has ducks on his t-shirt

38:42and this one has clowns

38:44and ben was definitely wearing ducks or

38:46clowns

38:49oh oh wait that one's definitely ben

38:51remember he had that cute little mole by

38:53his mouth

38:53yeah yeah hey ben remember us

38:58okay the mole came off what are we gonna

39:01do

39:02what are we gonna do uh uh we'll flip

39:05for it

39:05ducks are clowns oh we're gonna flip for

39:07the baby you got a better idea

39:09all right call it in here

39:12pets heads it is yes

39:18we have to assign heads to something

39:21right okay okay uh

39:26dox's heads because ducks have heads

39:30[Laughter]

39:34kind of scary-ass clowns came to your

39:41okay all birthday phoebe okay okay if i

39:43were omnipotent for a day

39:45i would want um world peace no more

39:48hunger

39:50good things for the rainforest and

39:52bigger boobs

39:55well so you took mine

39:58chandler what about you uh if i were on

40:00nipping in for a day i'd

40:02make myself op-nipping it forever see

40:05there's always one guy

40:06if i had a wish i'd wish for three more

40:08wishes

40:12joey hey buddy hey joey what would you

40:14do if you were omnipotent

40:16probably kill myself

40:20excuse me hey if little joey's dead then

40:23i got no reason

40:27joey uh omnipotent

40:31you are you're awesome

40:36hi we're buying the house next door and

40:38we were wondering if we could just take

40:40a look around

40:40oh sure i'm showing it to someone else

40:42right now but please look around

40:43thanks i feel like we're cheating on our

40:46house

40:48and if we're gonna cheat shouldn't it be

40:49with like a hot younger house that does

40:51stuff that our house won't do

40:55ours is so much better this living room

40:59is smaller

41:00the dining room looks like a cave what a

41:03hole

41:04so what do you think love it

41:08well we already have one offer on it and

41:09i think the lady upstairs is going to

41:11make another one

41:12so they could be our neighbors what are

41:13they like oh the woman upstairs is very

41:15nice

41:15she and her husband have two kids uh

41:17he's on wall street and she's

41:19oh my god

41:21[Applause]

41:33sure

41:35[Music]

41:41[Applause]

41:48[Applause]

41:51what happened i don't know you fell

41:54asleep

41:55that is all yeah

42:01all yeah well uh i better go yeah i

42:03think that would be best yeah

42:05all right i'll talk to you later okay

42:07but not about this

42:08no never never

42:12uh bye no touch no touch

42:23great nap it really was

42:31[Applause]

42:37sometimes i come in here just to get

42:39away from it

42:42hey a nickel

42:53oh my god

43:01are you all right yeah

43:05what happened oh man

43:08he promised he wouldn't take the chairs

43:12what the hell happened how are you

43:13locked in or where the hell's all of our

43:15stuff

43:17well this guy came by to look at the

43:18unit and he said he didn't think it was

43:20big enough to fit a grown man

43:23you got involuntarily i was trying to

43:26make a sale

43:28oh if i ever run into that guy again you

43:31know what i'm gonna do

43:32bend over

43:35well you know there are other ways you

43:36can win back your money how about a

43:38little uh a little blackjack and not my

43:40game

43:41okay uh how about how about you know

43:42what we can play a new game a new game

43:44it's fun

43:45well what's it called cups

43:50i don't know how to play i'll teach you

43:52come on come on it's really easy really

43:53really fun

43:54all right okay here you go

43:58i have two queens what do you have a two

44:00and a five oh

44:01you win 50.

44:05really oh yeah okay let's play again

44:07ready

44:11what do you got four and a nine you're

44:14kidding right

44:16no why well that's a full cup

44:21damn i am good at cops

44:26you win well what did you have well it

44:28doesn't matter nothing beats a

44:30three and a six that my friend is d cup

44:35um i'm sorry do you do you have a

44:38problem with me

44:38i don't know do i do i

44:42i think you do

44:45apparently you were um a little mean to

44:47him in high school a little mean you

44:49made my

44:50life miserable i'm i'm i had no idea i'm

44:52sorry i

44:53well you should be screw it bring on the

44:56yams

44:58well but you've worked so hard yeah okay

45:04uh will i i just want to say that i'm

45:06real sorry for whatever i

45:08i did to you in high school oh it wasn't

45:09just me hmm we had a club

45:12you had a club that's right the i hate

45:15rachel green

45:16club oh my god so would you all just

45:19join together to hate me who else was in

45:21this club

45:22me and ross

45:30no need to point she knows who ross is

45:40oh my god it's her it's that victoria's

45:42secret model something

45:44something good acre hi mom it's jill

45:47she's right it's jill

45:50oh my god i am trapped in an atm

45:53vestibule with jill

45:55goodacre is it a vestibule

45:58maybe it's an atrium oh yeah that is the

46:01part to focus on you idiot

46:05yeah i'm fine i'm just stuck at the bank

46:07at an atm vestibule

46:09jill says vestibule i'm going with

46:12vestibule

46:14i'm fine no i'm not alone

46:18i don't know some guy oh some guy

46:23some guy hey jill i saw you with some

46:26guy last night yes

46:28he was some guy

46:36five correct questions wins the game the

46:39lightning round begins

46:40now what is joey's favorite food

46:42sandwiches correct

46:44chandler was how old when he first

46:45touched a girl's breast 14

46:47no 19. thanks man joey had an imaginary

46:51childhood friend

46:52his name was maurice correct his

46:54profession was oh space cowboy correct

46:58what is chandler bing's job

47:05oh gosh this has something to do with

47:07numbers and processing

47:08well and it carries a briefcase yeah 10

47:10seconds you need this or you lose the

47:11game

47:12it has something to do with transponding

47:14oh oh

47:15he's a transpons monster

47:19that's not even a word

47:30[Applause]

47:36oh

47:37[Music]

47:39hello

47:42hello

47:46phoebe joey what's going on

47:50what

48:03to scare chandler oh my god

48:06monica's gonna totally freak out well

48:09then help me get it off

48:10plus it smells really bad in here

48:14of course it smells really bad you have

48:15your head up a dead animal

48:28oh my god oh my god

48:31who is that it's joey

48:35is it no sharing no switching and don't

48:38come crying to me

48:40if you eat your piece too fast

48:49oh

48:53all right you're gonna give me some of

48:54your piece

48:56no switching no sharing don't come

48:58crying to me

49:01i may just sit here and have my cake all

49:03day just sit here in the hallway

49:05and eat my

49:14oh hey look there's a piece that doesn't

49:16have floor on it

49:17stick to your side

49:32all right what are we having

49:35maybe now's not the right time to be

49:37starting a family

49:40so you have to tell monica you don't

49:41want to have a baby right now

49:48goodbye

49:50[Applause]

49:53okay it's baby time pants off bing

49:58didn't see you there geller

50:02yeah ross is here so

50:05uh uh-huh yeah uh and i was really

50:08hoping that maybe

50:09you know i could hang out huh you know

50:12what what are you uh

50:13what do you feel like doing well uh

50:17we're gonna have sex i don't feel like

50:20having sex

50:24uh maybe uh i don't know maybe we can

50:27watch a movie or something

50:28uh let me put it this way we're having

50:31sex whether you're here or not

50:33pants off bing oh my god okay i know

50:36this

50:37give me a second tell it to the time

50:38turtle shut up i dream of drinking yes

50:41yes you're back in the lead uh i'd like

50:42to spin the wheel

50:52super speedy speed round is there a

50:54hopping bonus of course

50:57[Laughter]

51:01who invented bifocals ben franklin

51:03correct which monarch has ruled great

51:05britain the longest queen victoria

51:06correct again

51:07but you forgot to switch legs between

51:09questions oh so no hopping bonus oh

51:12every time now

51:15over to chandler i'd like a google card

51:18are you sure yes no

51:22google oh my god

51:26congratulations ross because chandler

51:28you've been bamboozled

51:32this is the best game ever

51:36some kids messed up the homo sapien

51:37display what do they do

51:39well they painted over the word sapien

51:41for one thing

51:44then they rearranged the figures let's

51:47just leave it at that

51:49so do you want me to watch bin for you

51:51yes that's what i was gonna ask

51:52thank you whoa wait hello what about me

51:56you you want to watch ben

52:04yes that'd be great no i just asked

52:06monica because i know how

52:07empty her life is

52:13hey hey ross yeah i get a science

52:15question

52:16if the homo sapiens were in fact

52:19homo sapiens

52:23is that why they're extinct

52:28joey homo sapiens are people

52:32hey i'm not judging

52:35was it really that good we got honorable

52:38mention in the brother sister dance

52:39category

52:41look it's almost fake midnight do we

52:43really have any other choice

52:46okay let's do it mom and dad are gonna

52:49be so

52:55[Music]

52:59seven faced

53:03[Music]

53:09[Music]

53:22[Music]

53:26it's

53:28[Music]

53:32[Applause]

53:36can't hold her own head up but yeah

53:38jumped

53:39oh my god i left the water running right

53:42you did not leave the water running

53:43please just just pull yourself together

53:45okay wait did

53:46i leave the stove on you haven't cooked

53:47since 1996.

53:50is the window open because if the

53:52windows open a bird could fly in there

53:53and

53:54oh my god you know what i think you're

53:55right i think you know what listen

53:57listen

53:58a pigeon no no way no no an eagle flew

54:02in

54:03landed on the stove and caught fire

54:08the baby seeing this jumps across the

54:12apartment to the mighty birds aid

54:14the eagle however misconstrues this as

54:16an act of aggression

54:18and grabs the baby in its talent

54:20meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment

54:21with water

54:23baby and birds still ablaze are locked

54:25in a descript

54:26swirling around the whirlpool that fills

54:29the apartment

54:33boy are you gonna be sorry if that's

54:34true no but you know

54:36condoms only work like 97

54:40of the time what what

54:45what well

54:48they should put that on the box

54:54they do no they don't

55:03well they should put it in huge black

55:05letters

55:07okay russ come on let's just forget

55:08about the condom oh well i may as well

55:11have

55:14listen you know what i was really

55:16freaked out too when i'm not hey well

55:18i'm not freaked out

55:21i'm indignant as a consumer

55:26you know what let's let's talk later no

55:28no i want to talk

55:29now okay in fact i want to talk to the

55:33president of the contest oh yeah will

55:36come on up

55:37up yes

55:41here we go pivot pivot

55:56shut up shut up shut up

56:02okay i i don't think it's gonna pivot

56:04anymore you think

56:09all right let's uh let's bring it back

56:11down and try again

56:14oh

56:21okay yeah i think it's really stuck now

56:25i can't believe that didn't work i know

56:27me neither

56:28i mean you had a sketch

56:32okay you know what did you mean when you

56:34said pivot

56:40she's just getting dressed

56:45is it wrong that i was totally aroused

56:47by that

56:53[Applause]

56:56okay buddy boy here it is you hide my

57:00clothes

57:00i'm wearing everything you own oh my god

57:07that is so not the opposite of taking

57:08somebody's underwear

57:10look at me i'm chandler could i be

57:13wearing any more clothes

57:17maybe if i wasn't going commando

57:22yeah i'll tell you it's hot with all

57:25this stuff

57:26on i uh i better not do any i don't know

57:28lunges

57:32okay okay enough but not for the bunty

57:35no i'm sick oh come on

57:36miss isn't there any way that you can

57:38just let me off the

57:40no no oh my god

57:43did she get off the plane did she get

57:45off the plane

57:48i got off the plane

57:59[Applause]

58:01he got off the plane

58:09[Applause]

58:15i do love you oh i love you too

58:19and i am never letting you go again okay

58:21cause this is where i want to be

58:23okay no more i don't want to mess this

58:25up again no me neither

58:26okay we are we're done being stupid okay

58:30it's you and me all right this is it

58:32this is it unless we're on a break naked

58:36guy's bathroom

58:41oh look there's there's monica and

58:43chandler hey

58:44hey you guys hey

58:54[Applause]

59:02oh

59:14yes i know and joey knows what ross

59:16doesn't know so you have to

59:27actually it looks really good

59:36you can't smelly cat what

59:39are they feeding you everybody smelly

59:42cat smelly hair

59:45it's not your fault monika

59:48they won't take you to the vet tanner

59:52[Music]

59:54obviously not their favorite pet jelly

59:58may not be a bed of roses rachel

1:00:01you're not friend to those with noses

1:00:04ross those are the only lines we have

1:00:06sorry okay

1:00:09back to the chorus everybody smelly cat

1:00:12smelly cat what are they feeding you

1:00:17smelly cat smelly cat

1:00:20it's not your fault

1:00:31[Applause]

1:00:40oh i missed you i missed you too

1:00:47oh so nervous about that letter

1:00:53but the way you owned up to everything

1:00:55it just

1:00:57showed me how much you've grown you know

1:01:02i suppose you have ross you have you

1:01:07should give yourself

1:01:08credit i mean my mom never

1:01:11thought this would work out she was all

1:01:15once a cheater always a cheater

1:01:20oh i just wish we hadn't lost those four

1:01:23months

1:01:25but if time was what you needed just to

1:01:27gain a little perspective

1:01:32we were on that break

1:01:36coffeehouse you bet and for the record

1:01:39it took two people to break up this

1:01:42relationship

1:01:42yeah you and that girl from the copy

1:01:44place which yesterday you took full

1:01:46responsibility for

1:01:48i didn't know what i was taking

1:01:49responsibility for okay i didn't finish

1:01:52the whole letter what i fell asleep

1:01:55you fell asleep it was

1:01:585 30 in the morning and you

1:02:02had rambled on for 18

1:02:05pages front

1:02:08and back oh

1:02:11and by the way y-o-u apostrophe-r-e

1:02:15means you are y-o-u-r means you're you

1:02:19know i can't believe i even thought

1:02:21of getting back together with you we are

1:02:23so over

1:02:26fine by me oh ellen hey

1:02:30hey those little spelling tips will come

1:02:31in handy when you're at home on saturday

1:02:33nights playing scrabble with monica hey

1:02:35sorry i just feel bad about all that

1:02:39sleep you're gonna miss

1:02:40wishing you were with me oh no don't you

1:02:42worry about me

1:02:43falling asleep i still have your letter

1:02:48and wait just so you know it's not that

1:02:51common

1:02:52it doesn't happen to every guy and it is

1:02:54a big deal

1:02:57i knew it