Full transcript
0:00Hey, Tony Gaston here popping in now.
0:02Y'all got to forgive me cuz driving my
0:05Sprinter and it's raining and I got my
0:10little,
0:11you know, head in. But want to talk
0:14about this because this is, you know,
0:16going on. We see it all the time and
0:19it's a question that I get all the time
0:22is he likes you but he won't commit.
0:27And here's why.
0:29Now, I was doing a series before Tyler
0:34Perry interrupted the series with his
0:36lawsuit accusations and so that took up
0:40three videos and I was doing a series on
0:43relationships and we was touching on
0:45these things and this where we was about
0:46to go and I and I touched on how we live
0:50in this microwave society. We live in an
0:53instant gratification society. We live
0:56in a social media society.
0:59All of these things play a part. All of
1:02this comes into play. And when a man has
1:08been single and then he gets in a
1:10relationship,
1:12it becomes ever increasingly hard to
1:16settle down because
1:19there's so much choice in our world.
1:23Like when our grandparents and even when
1:26our parents were getting into
1:28relationships, there wasn't as much
1:30choice because you choosing out of the
1:33people who live on your street. You
1:35choosing out of the people who go to
1:37your school. Today you're choosing your
1:41partner out of the entire country
1:45because you can be in California and be
1:50following someone that you are low-key
1:53obsessed with who lives in
1:57New York or North Carolina.
2:01So now when you meet somebody,
2:07you're not just
2:09they're not just dating you. They're
2:12dating you, but they got 50 people that
2:16they follow online.
2:19And
2:21this
2:23paralysis by analysis comes into play
2:26and men start to say, "Okay,
2:29I like her. Great personality, great
2:32attitude, amazing relationship with God,
2:36but
2:37I'm not sure if she's the one. I'm not
2:40sure if she's pretty enough. I'm not
2:42sure if she's fit enough. I'm not sure
2:45if she's fun enough. I'm not sure if her
2:50hips are going to spread too much when
2:53she gets pregnant. I'm not sure if she's
2:56going to change and become too much of
2:58this or too much of that when she gets
3:01comfortable, when she gets complacent.
3:04and a man starts to overanalyze and he
3:08gets so so scared about committing
3:10because he's like, "What if I commit?"
3:14And I vow to be 100% faithful. And then
3:17I meet somebody and she's cooler, she's
3:21prettier,
3:22she's fitter,
3:25and now I've already locked in and
3:27committed to this one woman. And what a
3:31lot of men today don't really realize is
3:34because the world is so
3:37is so superficial where you can go to a
3:41restaurant and get order what you like
3:45and if it's not made to perfection,
3:49you get to eat a few bites,
3:53become satiated,
3:55and then turn it back in and get your
3:57money back.
3:59If you buy a car and it's not 100% what
4:05you like, you can take it to the chop
4:08shop, take it to the to the place and
4:12get a wrap put on it. You can get a new
4:15wrap on your car every year. Any color
4:19that you can dream of, there's a wrap
4:22for it. You can change the tires. You
4:25can put lights in the roof. You can cut
4:27a sunroof in it. You can turn it into a
4:29convertible. You can make it muscular.
4:32You can make it slim. You can do
4:33anything you want to do to it. So, we
4:35have this world that now has so much
4:38convenience and so much technology that
4:42you can do anything that you can dream
4:45of. And when you in a world like that,
4:48it makes it hard to settle for somebody
4:52who can't really change too much. And
4:56then when a human changes,
4:58most often the change is not really a
5:01good change. So a woman can go get
5:05veneers and now she went from God's gift
5:08of teeth to chicklets in her mouth.
5:13She can go get a BBL. And now it looks
5:17like she has a soggy diaper on. She can
5:20go change this or change that and look
5:23worse than she did before. cosmetic
5:25surgery. So, that's not foolproof today.
5:30And men are becoming ever increasingly
5:34afraid.
5:36Now, we just filmed our pilot for the
5:40YouTube dating show, and
5:45I'm a married man, so I can't look at a
5:48woman the way a single man can, cuz I
5:50can't make a move, and I can't have that
5:52woman or be with that woman. But it was
5:56women on the show and then it was women
5:59helping produce the show. And as I'm
6:02looking around, you know, for the women
6:05who were single, it's like all of them
6:08were
6:10viable
6:12potential partners for a man. And each
6:17person is just slightly different than
6:20the other person.
6:23All of their energy is good. All their
6:26attitude good, all their mindset's good.
6:29So it's like any one of them could be a
6:33wife
6:35and what do you choose? So then it
6:37becomes this thing of because men are
6:40visual creatures, women are visual as
6:43well, just not as visual as men.
6:46But it becomes this thing. It's like,
6:47okay, the man is talking to himself and
6:51it's like, do I choose big butt and a
6:54smile? Do I choose height? Do I choose
6:59smarts? Do I choose career? Like, what
7:02do I choose to settle down with when it
7:05comes to a wife?
7:08And that's the thing. It's really fear.
7:14what y'all call FOMO, fear of missing
7:17out.
7:19A man
7:21doesn't know, men of today, most men of
7:24today don't know how to
7:28accept good enough.
7:31They don't know how to evaluate and
7:33analyze
7:35when a woman is enough. And just like
7:40their food, just like their gym, just
7:42like their car, they want every single
7:45box to be perfect. It's like a man
7:49doesn't want a car that has a good paint
7:51job and then uh so so engine. And so
7:56it's like with a human, not everything's
7:59going to be perfect. A woman can have
8:02great skin,
8:04pretty smile, but not really have a
8:08shape. A woman can have a shape and then
8:12not have the greatest skin. A woman can
8:16have the hair and not have the greatest
8:19smile. It's like no human that is
8:24rocking what God gave them is going to
8:27be 100% perfect. And so that is why he
8:30likes you, but he's not committing. He's
8:34afraid that if he commits, another
8:37woman's going to come along and have
8:39that one or two things that you don't
8:41have. And he is scared that he's going
8:44to be torn and feel like he's missing
8:47out and it's going to make him want to
8:48cheat. And then that cheating is what's
8:53going to
8:54set y'all up for failure. that curiosity
8:59and can't force them to think away. You
9:02can't really change them. You can't make
9:04them do what you want to do. But it's
9:07what you got to realize. So sometimes if
9:09you're a woman and you're in that
9:10position, you got to put your foot down.
9:13You got to have an ultimatum and you got
9:15to have a timeline. And after you cross
9:19two years and this is your life, it's
9:21okay to say, "Hey, you know, if I'm not
9:23the one, let me know. But I just can't
9:26keep my life on hold for your
9:29indecisiveness.
9:31So it's like just be straight up with
9:34me. Yes, it's going to hurt like nothing
9:35else in my life, but you know, I just
9:38can't sit and wait forever because I
9:42don't want to be in sin and fornication
9:45and I want to be married and I want to
9:47settle in and I want to, you know, start
9:49a family with
9:52the person I'm spending my life with.
9:54So, you know, at the max I can do is
9:58like another 12 months. Like, it's okay
10:01to say that once you cross a threshold,
10:04especially once you cross 12 months and
10:07you're if you 25 and older, it's okay to
10:10say it and it's time to say it. But hey,
10:12this Tony Gaskins, all the important
10:14links in the description, God bless you.
10:15Shout out to the Blessed Tribe. Shout
10:17out to Tony Gaston Family Foundation uh
10:20donors. You make everything possible for
10:22my boys summer program. We gearing up
10:25for a trip here in a couple weeks. Got a
10:29little training camp coming up July 5th
10:31and 6th. God bless y'all. Now, when you
10:34see this, I might be out of town, me and
10:36my wife. Just a, you know, mommy and me,
10:40you know, husband and wife little little
10:42time before July gets real busy and then
10:46back to school August. So, God bless
10:49y'all. I'm not here on here in the
10:52flesh. We'll talk soon.