Kariera aktorska czy rodzina? Olga Kalicka wywiad W MOIM STYLU | Magda Mołek

0:00I fought against it for a very long

0:02time , against this princess image , and

0:04now I accept that I actually have so

0:05many colors . I'll be honest with you ,

0:09when we were setting up this podcast , I

0:11had this feeling : " Okay , let's meet

0:12after Gdynia , and I'll tell you what a

0:14big deal it was for me , how much

0:16happened there , how many awards . " I

0:21don't always believe that this vision ,

0:23that we must be together until the end

0:24at all costs , is the best way . Right

0:28now , okay , this is the moment for my

0:30professional career . I love life just

0:32for the sake of life itself . I am very

0:34open when it comes to , like , these

0:36supernatural things .

0:37>> Olga Kalicka is my guest today . Good

0:39morning .

0:40>> Good morning .

0:41>> I see you as such a princess . A

0:43princess . Actually , preparing for our

0:46meeting , I wrote down all your roles ,

0:48your jobs , commitments since the age of

0:50seven , and I thought to myself : " the

0:52golden child of Polish series . " You

0:56know that people adore you for your

0:57nobility , delicacy , subtlety , and as I

0:59look at you now , since I have you here

1:02live , it's a different perception . I

1:05absolutely understand this opinion .

1:07>> I am very

1:08>> comfortable with the word " princess . "

1:12It's interesting , because you know ,

1:14today before I came to you , a bit late ,

1:16I was lying at the physiotherapist's

1:18and I was telling him that yesterday I

1:19had fittings for some advertising

1:21campaign and I was trying on a lot of

1:23these princess-like dresses .

1:27>> Oh , really ? And it brought back

1:32memories that since I was a child I

1:33played these princesses and we were

1:35trying on very different dresses with

1:37different cuts and finally we settled

1:38on a dress that was a total princess

1:40gown , and the stylist who was doing the

1:42fittings with me said : " Hey , this

1:44really suits you . "

1:47>> We are kind of ruining your princess

1:49image . On the contrary , and that is

1:50precisely what is wonderful , because I

1:52am kind of breaking away from this

1:54image ,

1:56>> but there is something to it , that in a

1:58way I once joked that blue blood flows

1:59through my veins and there is something

2:01there , that even when I try on such

2:03gowns ,

2:05>> it somehow suits me , even though it

2:06often doesn't suit other people , so

2:08there is something to it . And so ,

2:11indeed , I really fought against it for

2:13a very long time , against this princess

2:15image , and now I accept that I actually

2:18have so many colors .

2:21>> You do ,

2:21>> that I can actually be ,

2:24>> because you are a princess on the

2:26surface , but I think that due to your

2:28age and your experiences , a feminine ,

2:30mature , wise edge is coming to the

2:32surface more and more boldly . Besides ,

2:35you are also at the age of Christ . You

2:37are 33 years old . That sounds serious .

2:40>> Does this awareness change anything ?

2:43>> No , I think I've actually been in a

2:45place of adulthood for a long time now .

2:47Although , of course , there are

2:49situations in life when you catch

2:50yourself thinking , " Oh , no , that was

2:52actually from a child's perspective . "

2:54Right , so let’s step back into the

2:56shoes of adult Olka and see what we can

2:58do here .

3:00>> Quiet over there . I’m digging into

3:03these topics , not you .

3:05>> Can that even be heard ? You think so ?

3:06>> Well , I think it’s audible . Can you

3:08hear it on our mics ? No , you can't . We

3:10apologize , but this podcast is being

3:13recorded in a regular apartment

3:15building where , as you can see , various

3:17things happen . Life is going on here .

3:21Talks about life , life behind other

3:23walls — it's understandable . Alright ,

3:27but getting back to us . Was there a

3:30moment when you felt that ... it was time

3:34to stop being that princess , time to

3:35change something , since you say you

3:37wanted to fight that image ?

3:44>> I remember that during drama school ,

3:46even before starting , since childhood ,

3:48I was mainly cast in those princess

3:49roles , and I remember during the school

3:51entrance exams , something clicked and I

3:53thought , " Aha . " Because even before

4:00school , I played Princess Jasmine in

4:02the musical Aladdin at the Roma Musical

4:04Theatre .

4:05>> I told you , a princess . And it turned

4:09out that the head of my year , Andrzej

4:11Strzelecki , was at the premiere where I

4:13performed . And shortly after that , I

4:18had my drama school entrance exams , and

4:20I remember him asking me about it

4:21during the exam . " Excuse me , did you

4:24play Princess Jasmine in that musical ? "

4:27and I thought , " That's it . " Should I

4:28admit it or not ?

4:29>> I didn't pass .

4:30>> Completely . I was immediately sure I

4:32wouldn't be accepted because of that

4:34very thing . And during school , I tried

4:38so hard to break away from that , from

4:40the whole " being pretty " thing too .

4:43>> Mhm . Well , that's difficult .

4:45>> And a bit ...

4:47>> well , you know , I also remember the

4:49feedback after auditions , that " Ola is

4:51like a porcelain doll . " " She acted it

4:54very well and is a talented girl , but

4:56she's just too pretty for this , " and I

4:58heard that many times . But I have to

5:01say , it makes sense in the film — you

5:02aren't really the prettiest one there .

5:05>> Exactly , and that is the first moment ,

5:07I think , in my professional career when

5:09...

5:11>> I finally had the space to ...

5:14>> not be pretty . It’s obviously a

5:16matter of lighting , the set design

5:18where the shots were taken , and the

5:20overall mood of the film . So , it is a

5:25comedy , but with elements of a very

5:27serious topic , because you play an

5:29extremely active , at times aggressive

5:31character . Olga's , too . Could you tell

5:36us something about her ?

5:37>> Yes . You know , I think it could perhaps

5:41be classified as a dramedy .

5:44>> Mhm . Our director puts it nicely ,

5:46saying it’s a sad movie with funny

5:48dialogue .

5:49>> Yes , because the topic is serious ,

5:51meaning two people meet there . Each of

5:53these people , you and

5:55>> the main character , have things to work

5:57through in this world .

5:58>> They are at a certain point . I think

6:03both my character and Antoni's

6:04character , played by Jędrzej Hycnar ,

6:06these characters meet at a crossroads ,

6:08at a moment where it's unclear what

6:10will happen to them next . And I think

6:18they are both looking for salvation ,

6:19looking for some kind of

6:24>> encounter that might save them , and

6:26they bump into each other . And although

6:30at the beginning it’s not so obvious

6:32that any relationship between them has

6:33a chance to

6:35>> I was actually afraid of you for the

6:36first ten minutes or so of the movie .

6:39>> You are neither a princess nor an angel

6:40there .

6:42>> I'm glad you said that , because I

6:44remember that during the script reading

6:46stage and later during preparations for

6:48this film , I treated this character

6:49very dramatically .

6:52>> Mhm .

6:52>> And I didn't even fully feel like I was

6:54acting in a comedy at all , you know ? I

6:58felt more that it was a very dramatic

6:59story , just with some funny elements .

7:04Ultimately , I think it became much

7:06funnier during the editing stage , later

7:08in post-production , but I still looked

7:10at her as a very dramatic character ,

7:12because her history was difficult . She

7:18is a girl with a very difficult

7:20childhood , who faced a series of

7:21challenges , and on top of that , quite

7:23strong disorders that she simply

7:25couldn't cope with , and these everyday

7:27challenges were just too much for her ,

7:29like extreme , aggressive ADHD . And also

7:37the spectrum , since it is said in the

7:39film that she is a neurodivergent

7:41person , so well , that's how I looked at

7:46her . And then suddenly it turned out

7:48during filming that we were playing

7:50those first scenes where I am very

7:51aggressive , where I attack Antoni . I

7:54was preparing , you know , with a

7:56stuntman , I had stunt rehearsals to get

7:58ready for those scenes where I attack

7:59him and so on . And for me , it was super

8:02serious . I was looking for logic in it ,

8:04I was looking for as much truth as

8:06possible , and I saw that suddenly the

8:08director started holding me back a bit ,

8:10like : " Olga , take it easy , that’s

8:12enough , " you know ? Like , let's give her

8:15... there’s a moment where he

8:16approaches this character with a foam

8:18pool noodle and starts hitting him with

8:19it . And I had this inner resistance ,

8:22like , how me ? I’m supposed to be this

8:25dangerous character in the film , so it

8:27won’t be believable at all , right ?

8:30And I was looking for it , I believed

8:31you .

8:32>> But then it turns out that it all made

8:34sense after all ,

8:36>> because the fact that I held that truth

8:38within me and I carried that truth , um ,

8:43>> and it collided with telling this story

8:45from a greater distance made it so that

8:49that the truth existed there , while at

8:51the same time there was a bit of comedy

8:53in it .

8:53>> You went with this film to this year's

8:55Polish Film Festival in Gdynia . What

8:58did you bring back ? What kind of

9:00reviews ?

9:01>> Hmm , I’ll tell you honestly , when we

9:03were setting up this podcast , I had

9:05this feeling , okay , let’s meet after

9:07Gdynia , and I’ll tell you how big it

9:09was for me , how much happened there ,

9:11how many awards and all that . So I’ll

9:16tell you now that it was a wonderful

9:17lesson for me

9:19>> in humility ,

9:23>> maybe even more of a meeting with

9:25myself , because I didn't have any

9:27expectations . Yes , in general , of

9:30course , I had some dreams related to it

9:32.

9:32>> You also had resolutions , because you

9:34once decided that you wouldn't go to

9:36this festival as a guest until you went

9:38there with your own film .

9:39>> Yes . And that’s what happened , and it

9:43was fulfilled , my visualization in my

9:44notebook , it all worked out beautifully

9:46, but I didn't write in that notebook

9:48that I would also like to receive an

9:49award or something . So that’s also a

9:54great lesson about how to meticulously

9:56write down all your dreams later on .

10:00But it was such a lesson for me , you

10:02know , about me , about what I also want

10:04from this profession , what it is for me

10:06, that

10:09>> and what is it for you , um ,

10:14>> that for me , you know what , it’s a

10:16story about how I love fulfilling these

10:18dreams and I adore this profession and

10:19it is wonderfully rewarding , because

10:21the festival audience was incredibly

10:23supportive and I received a lot of

10:24congratulations , people who simply

10:26stopped me on the street and said they

10:28had already seen the film , that they

10:30thank me for it because it’s

10:31important .

10:36>> to them and it did something to them

10:38inside . However , I was observing what

10:42was happening

10:45>> within the environment internally ,

10:47>> yes . On one hand , there were a lot of

10:49fascinating conversations there , uh ,

10:51really cool ones . I'll tell you about

10:53one shortly that was especially

10:55important to me , because it was

10:56probably the most vital feedback I

10:58received . But I was also observing

11:00myself to see to what extent I really

11:02have a need to be there .

11:04>> Mhm .

11:05>> And to what extent what I have is

11:07enough for me . Meaning , I'm here with

11:10my film , I'm happy to stay for a talk ,

11:12I'm happy to chat with people for a

11:14while , but it's not

11:16>> the most important thing ,

11:17>> the most important , it's not a struggle

11:19for me to have someone notice me or to

11:21meet someone .

11:22>> Honestly ,

11:23>> everyone knows you . Oh , come on . Who

11:25else could you possibly meet ? You know

11:27what ,

11:27>> but that meeting with that important

11:29person and that opinion , who was it ?

11:31>> It was a lady , I don't even know her

11:33name . I should check that , by the way ,

11:36but that wasn't the most important part

11:38. What was more important to me was

11:40that we talked about the film . She had

11:45seen the film and told me that she

11:46worked for 10 years in a psychiatric

11:48hospital and now has her own center ,

11:50where she works with neurodivergent

11:52children who have the exact same

11:53disorders as the character I was

11:55playing .

11:58>> And she told me something like this —

12:00she caught me in the crowd and said : "

12:02You know what ? I read a few reviews and

12:06saw that there are people saying you

12:07overacted , that what you do there isn't

12:09real . But I'll tell you that I work

12:13with such people every day . And what

12:16you did was spot on with what I work

12:18with on a daily basis . And now I'm

12:22taking this film and I'm going to show

12:23clips from it to the parents of the

12:25children I work with ,

12:28>> so they have a chance to see it in a

12:29slightly different light . And that was

12:33something , you know , I get chills just

12:35saying it , because for me , there is

12:37nothing more valuable . I tell you , that

12:43was probably the most valuable

12:44conversation I had there , because it

12:46was confirmation for me that how I did

12:48my work , delving into this character ,

12:50getting close to her , trying to

12:52understand and defend her , and finding

12:54that truth in her — it was a terribly

12:56deep journey for me , truly into myself .

13:02>> So , sometimes our attitude is verified

13:05by life itself . We land in some space

13:10just to hear the words of that one

13:12person , not the film industry patting

13:14you on the back and saying , " Well , Olga

13:16, you've moved up a level , " but people

13:18who work every day with individuals

13:20with disorders

13:23>> like your character . "

13:25>> For one , yes , exactly . Yes , because ,

13:27you know , people in the industry will

13:29always have different opinions on the

13:31subject . Some will tell me , wow , that

13:33it's something new , you did something

13:35completely different , that you managed

13:37to create such a character , that I was

13:39cast that way , and that's all true . It

13:41also took huge courage , you know , from

13:43the producers and the director , to give

13:45me the chance to play a role like that .

13:47They cast me in a non-standard way . Was

13:49, Sim , Artur Barciś are in this film ,

13:51so a wonderful cast .

13:53>> Wonderful and I really think it's a

13:54really cool production and it's a

13:56decent movie . Mhm .

13:59>> However , how many people were moved

14:01after the premiere of this film , uh

14:05>> those are the countless people who

14:07write to me and say that it is

14:08important to them .

14:10>> And for you , is this a break from that

14:12" princess " image ?

14:13>> Definitely yes . It is certainly for me ,

14:18hm , it's that I've known for a long

14:20time that I'm capable of much more in

14:22this industry ,

14:26>> but it's about not getting offers , that

14:28there's no director or screenwriter who

14:30would want to risk working with you

14:32because , for example , you haven't

14:33played some crazy role yet . As I've

14:36watched this film world for years , I

14:38see , and by the way , more than once a

14:40guest from the acting world has sat

14:42here in your place , saying : " I got such

14:44a role , I played it . " It was a

14:46breakthrough role in my career , and

14:47then all the scripts were about the

14:48same thing .

14:51>> So you first have to show that you can

14:53do something , and then hope that some

14:54other director will risk a different

14:56image or different possibilities for

14:57the same actress .

15:00>> Exactly , that's exactly how it is . But

15:03it's also about the fact that very

15:05little depends on me in this industry ,

15:06and that even if I

15:10>> first of all , that someone even invites

15:12me to a casting , right ? So they are

15:14already thinking outside the box ; this

15:16time it was Krzysiek Łączak , with

15:17whom I had another casting for a

15:19completely different production a

15:20moment earlier , but he remembered me

15:22from that casting somehow and , just in

15:24a burst of emotion , he was doing it a

15:26moment later . I don't know if , had it

15:27not been for that casting , he would

15:29have even thought of calling me , you

15:31know ? So that's the first thing . The

15:34second is that it really takes a lot of

15:36courage , just like you said , because

15:38well , there is a risk later

15:41>> also a business one ,

15:42>> totally business-related , because

15:44that's what this industry is also about

15:45,

15:46>> yes

15:47>> so I'm happy that I managed to do it

15:49now , and I also see that even just the

15:51trailers , you know , not everyone has

15:54seen this film , you had the occasion ,

15:56opportunity , space , now it is , now it

15:58is in theaters ,

16:01>> but you have to choose , buy a ticket ,

16:03and go . Yes .

16:05>> So , indeed , it is , um , also such a

16:08choice . And I think that the trailers

16:13themselves , which appear somewhere in

16:15the space , for example on social media ,

16:19>> make it so they show me in a completely

16:21different way .

16:22>> But when I think about you , well , I

16:24think most people look at you through

16:26the prism of the show " Rodzinka , "

16:27you've been there for many years . It is

16:31, you know , this production has grown

16:33into your biography and you into this

16:35production . You are simply , you are

16:39grown together . And this character ,

16:43Magda , also goes through all the stages

16:46. Is family ? Now we are moving on to

16:51private topics , does family make sense

16:53to you ?

16:54>> Oh , the most .

16:55>> You are one of three sisters .

16:57>> Mhm . um you have parents , you have , um ,

17:02access to a world that was orderly .

17:05Your parents are together , your dad

17:07went through a serious illness , but , um

17:09, you are still together .

17:12>> Um , you in your private life have these

17:14blocks arranged differently now . It

17:17didn't work out as you probably dreamed

17:19as that princess in your private life .

17:23So you are already separated from the

17:25father of your first child and you have

17:27a new partner and a new life now . Is

17:31this a burden in the modern world ,

17:33which , as we know , is diverse ,

17:39>> for you as a woman who grew up in such

17:41an ideal world , that your world and

17:43your family look different now , that

17:45this somehow strips you of that ideal

17:46that you probably had in your head ? I

17:54used to have one , but that was a long

17:56time ago , and now for many , many years

17:58I have arranged my own puzzles and

18:00blocks in my own way , differently . And

18:09I don't always think that , um , that

18:11vision of , you know , always together

18:13until the end and so on , at all costs ,

18:15is sometimes the best path . I have

18:21experienced that and family certainly

18:29makes sense , but I am in a place where

18:31I already have my own family , and of

18:33course , I meet with my family , meaning

18:35my parents , my sisters . However , I

18:39place my energy into my family , my

18:41partner , and my children . So , family of

18:44origin is important , but family by

18:46choice , that is , the one you start as

18:49an adult ,

18:50>> that is , um , here is the energy center .

18:55>> That's right , that is most important to

18:57me , and I also have this feeling , this

18:59conviction that it is the woman who

19:01fuels the home hearth , and I feel that

19:03a lot , and now I am in a bit of a place

19:05of searching for myself . It's super

19:09interesting , because when you also have

19:11two children , right ,

19:13>> you know that there are ,

19:14>> that there are three children , not two .

19:16You told me about that before we turned

19:18the camera on , and that is wonderful .

19:20>> I’ll just remind you that — I don't

19:22know if I've said this here before , I

19:23think I have — in one of Andrzej

19:25Saramonowicz's films there's a line

19:27where one of the characters , who has

19:29two children , says that one child is

19:31just one child , but when you have two ,

19:33you don't have two , you have 11 ,

19:34because 1 plus 1 equals 11 . We all know

19:37this , and every parent who welcomes a

19:39second child knows that things fall

19:41apart . And I understand you’re at

19:43that stage .

19:44>> It’s a bit like that . I see that the

19:47family is , like , still rearranging

19:49itself .

19:50>> Rearranging , rearranging .

19:52>> And there’s also this feeling that I

19:54think I was reborn again when I gave

19:55birth to my second child .

19:57>> How old is the little one now ?

19:59>> 16 months . I always laugh that before a

20:02child turns 2 , you just state their age

20:04in months , right ? Well , yeah , she’s

20:07almost a year and a half . And I think

20:11another transformation happened to me

20:13here .

20:16>> With the arrival of Aniela . At the same

20:20time , this film came along , which was a

20:22huge physical and mental challenge for

20:24me , because on set

20:26>> I got onto the set when Aniela was six

20:27months old

20:30>> and went straight to throwing pasta at

20:31my acting partner ,

20:32>> right ? And there was , you know , a very

20:35high energy charge there . And at the

20:36same time , I was breastfeeding Aniela ,

20:38and she was waiting for me in the

20:40trailer .

20:41>> Uh-huh .

20:43>> And between scenes of , you know ,

20:45aggression , fights , struggles , swearing

20:48, and just all the chaos that this

20:50character carried , Aniela was my solace

20:52, my little angel . But did you pass

20:57through some kind of buffer zone from

20:59the set to nursing the baby ?

21:01>> You know , I spent quite a lot of time

21:03before filming started preparing for

21:05that .

21:05>> Okay .

21:07>> And I think that brought so much into

21:11my life . Because there is this amazing

21:19woman named Anna Skorupa , and she is an

21:21acting coach , and Ania generally helps

21:23actors just explore and prepare for

21:24roles . But I called her because I just

21:33felt like I had to , and I said to her :

21:35" Do you have children ? " She said : " Yes ,

21:39can you help me ? " How can I manage to

21:47breastfeed my child while playing such

21:49a role , so that the baby doesn't feel

21:50rejected and the character's energy

21:52doesn't rub off on her ? Because she is

21:58a tiny , defenseless baby , isn't she ?

22:02And thanks to Anna , I learned how to

22:04click over . Oh ,

22:09>> meaning how to leave the character at

22:11the door and come back to myself . She

22:15taught me a bit about health and safety

22:16. I mean , we learned it together . She

22:19walked me through it . You know ? But

22:22it's still my internal work , figuring

22:24out how to let go of this being , this

22:26character , right ? Between scenes ,

22:29because sometimes it took , I don't know

22:31, 15 minutes . And honestly , it was a

22:35huge lesson for me that this is my

22:37profession , it's my job , but it's not

22:39my whole life .

22:43>> And that's what this festival was about

22:44for me , too .

22:45>> But maybe that's how it is for you ,

22:47because I'm constantly trying to

22:48scratch away at the princess in you . Uh

22:50, probably rightly so . Do you think so ?

22:56>> Yes , probably right , because I feel

22:58like the princess is only on the

23:00outside , that inside — to start

23:01repeating myself — there was born a

23:03woman who knows what she wants , and you

23:05are still very young , and you can do a

23:07lot in this industry at your age , but

23:09you don't have to at all . So when I

23:20look at you , I think of you as someone

23:21who is already so grounded and

23:23self-aware that you choose your

23:24professional work or where you appear

23:26by viewing everything external through

23:28the lens of your loved ones ' needs

23:29first . Two small children , a

23:37complicated personal situation . Are you

23:40happy ? I know , but still , when you

23:43>> it's known you have to share care with

23:48a parent of one of your children , I

23:49don't believe it happens without a cost

23:51. After all , these are emotions .

23:54>> These are emotions and there is always ,

23:56always some cost . And when I also

23:58choose a moment that for a while now ,

24:00okay , this is the time for my

24:02professional career , because a role

24:04like this comes my way , right ? Because

24:06that's kind of how it is . I , of course ,

24:09believe that exactly what I am ready

24:11for at that moment comes to me ,

24:13>> that's for sure .

24:15>> But of course , I also have to decide

24:17whether to take it or not . And here ,

24:20for example , there was a heavy burden

24:22of that responsibility . Would it

24:25disrupt our My partner always says so

24:27nicely that it's our family ecosystem .

24:30>> Mhm .

24:32>> And it was known that it would disrupt

24:33it a little . It was known there would

24:36be a cost . Yes , my physical one . You

24:38bore it .

24:39>> Well , no , we all bear it in a sense .

24:41Because I wasn't at home for those

24:43shooting days , or however many it

24:45finally was . Yes . And it could be a lot

24:47, it could be a little . However , that's

24:50really how it is now . I wish I had so

24:54many offers coming in that I could say ,

24:56" I'll do this one , but I won't do that

24:58one . " No , because that would be

25:01wonderful .

25:02>> But that’s not the case .

25:03>> But that’s not the case either .

25:04>> Do you also act in the theater ?

25:06>> Yes . I mean , I haven't acted for a long

25:08time ; I stopped during my pregnancy ,

25:10and in two weeks I'm returning to one

25:12of the shows , " Nunsense , " after a long

25:14break .

25:14>> Mhm . That musical brings back very good

25:21memories for me and it brought a lot of

25:23joy , and I've also had a lot of really

25:25difficult , heavy situations in my life .

25:31I also sometimes choose what feels

25:33lighter for me , what will be easier for

25:35me to handle . On the other hand , I

25:38often look at things through the lens

25:39that I like challenges , so when I

25:41decide on something , I want it to be ,

25:43for example , like this role — an acting

25:45challenge for me —

25:46>> and then I know I can bear the cost . I

25:49make an agreement with my partner , and

25:51he goes along with it with me . However ,

25:56I am definitely at a point , despite my

25:58age , where I realize that there is

26:00nothing more important to me than

26:01relationships , and that I would never

26:03put my career before my family .

26:08>> That's nice .

26:10>> I know it's — I know it's — you know ,

26:12it's sometimes difficult ,

26:15>> but already Mhm . But has it already

26:17happened that life put you in a

26:18position ,

26:19>> and you've already had to choose ? No.

26:20In the case of that offer , I choose

26:23family .

26:26>> I get a lot of offers like that —

26:27things I've played somewhere before ,

26:29similar things , which I know won't be a

26:31big acting challenge for me . And then I

26:36decline . In the last month , I actually

26:38did decline .

26:39>> Can you — is it okay to decline like

26:41that ? Won't it backfire later , like ,

26:43will they stop calling ?

26:44>> I don't know , but at most they'll stop

26:46calling .

26:47>> Do you have a Plan B ? You know , I think

26:54I have a sort of trust in the universe

26:55that whatever is meant to happen in my

26:57life really will happen .

27:00>> Well , in the worst-case scenario , I

27:02won't be an actress . And well , I won't

27:05be , and I'll still be myself . I don't

27:08know . These are , you know , these are —

27:11I actually like these philosophical

27:13questions , because — you know , I — I

27:16love life for life itself . And even

27:20though it's really demanding for me

27:22sometimes , and sometimes I'm really

27:24exhausted , and as you say , two kids is

27:26a lot — it's totally like that . But on

27:30the other hand , I love life for life

27:32itself .

27:32>> Where were you hiding out ? Under a rock

27:34somewhere .

27:36>> I have a lot of philosophical questions

27:38here . You can choose as many as you

27:40want .

27:42>> If you find an empty one , that's a

27:44question for me , but I can already see

27:46you haven't . What's up ?

27:48>> Would you want to have a friend like

27:50yourself ? I have a lot of friends and I

27:58think we often exchange that with each

28:00other , even today in passing I caught

28:02up with my friend and told her that I

28:04am I am naked before you . I can tell

28:13you anything . I know that we stand

28:16before each other in such truth that I

28:18am not afraid of a relationship like

28:20that

28:22>> and she feels the same way with me . So

28:26it seems to me that it is , that it is

28:29the greatest value , so

28:31>> that you know , that you have proven

28:32yourself in friendship . Yes , that my

28:37sincerity and the heart that I give to

28:39my friends , it also comes back to me

28:41and it is simply an endless circle of

28:43that energy . Well , I have such luck

28:51with people , you just can't imagine my

28:52birthday , that moment when all my

28:54closest ones just show up and the cake

28:56comes , and I just start crying that

28:58everyone is here

29:02>> with me ,

29:03>> right ? and side by side , simply with me

29:10>> on this path that I am also going

29:12through by myself , one that is totally

29:14interesting and it , well , it moves me .

29:18My closest people move me .

29:22>> When was the moment you started looking

29:24inside , at yourself , into yourself ?

29:27What happened ? What had to happen ? Well

29:30, you know what , I think I mean , I've

29:35always liked to explore that , but I

29:44think my first child was that moment

29:46where I just had to , it slowed me down .

29:53I simply had to stop and see anew who I

29:55even am . and to get to know myself at

30:02all . It is also true that I think

30:06parenting teaches us fully who we are ,

30:08what we took from our family home , how

30:10much of it we want to repeat , and how

30:12much we really don't want to repeat ,

30:14that we repeat it only in a completely

30:15different dimension . No , because that's

30:23also very common , so I think that

30:24parenthood just forced me into that

30:26development . And then

30:30>> well

30:32>> I felt such a fascination with

30:33exploring myself and how exploring the

30:35nature of the mind works . you know how

30:39it works now I have it that it just

30:43fascinates me .

30:47>> I find what you’re saying fascinating

30:49, because a beautiful young woman with

30:51a long-standing career , a theater

30:53school graduate just a few years out of

30:55studies , decides to have a child , and

30:57now this age-old question always arises

30:59: career or family for a woman ? Let's

31:05be honest , men have it much easier , but

31:07we truly face that dilemma . We are the

31:10ones who are pregnant , we are the ones

31:12in postpartum , we are the ones taking

31:14care of a toddler and a young child . It

31:17is always the mother’s role . She is

31:19the lead parent up to a certain point

31:20when it comes to the children . So there

31:24is no room here for that acting , Warsaw

31:26red-carpet lifestyle . There isn't ,

31:30there simply isn't any time or energy

31:32for it . As for the Warsaw acting and

31:35red-carpet scene , that's truly a no ,

31:37and I realized a long time ago that

31:39it’s just not for me at all ,

31:41>> that I completely don’t fit in with

31:43it , and that it would have to be some

31:48kind of massive , rare event for me to

31:50go out anywhere .

31:52>> But was the decision to have children a

31:54natural one ? Was it a need of that

31:56moment ? Hmm , you know , I actually

31:57remember that ever since I was a child ,

31:59I knew I would have kids . And I

32:02remember playing house as a child . It

32:05was one of my favorite games , you know ?

32:09And I always used to play that first I

32:11have two children , a son and then a

32:13daughter , because he would be the older

32:15brother and he would look after , you

32:16know , stuff like that . I remember it .

32:19>> Be careful what you play . It all

32:24completely and beautifully came true

32:25later on , so even though this role of

32:27being a mother surprised me in a

32:29certain sense , however ,

32:33>> the pregnancy was unplanned .

32:35>> You know , I’ve already spoken about

32:37this many times , so it’s no secret

32:39that it wasn't , like , planned for the

32:41here and now , that it was meant to

32:42happen . Even medically , it was highly

32:47unlikely that it could happen at that

32:49moment , yet it did . Which was also , at

32:54the same time , a huge sign for me that

32:56this was the moment , and I truly

32:57believe that what is meant to happen

32:59for us in our lives , happens .

33:03>> And where does that conviction come

33:04from in you ?

33:07>> I don’t know .

33:08>> I just have this trust ,

33:11>> but in God , in what ?

33:12>> You know ? For many years , just

33:18generally in God , in the universe , in

33:20this energy that occurs , because I

33:22don't close off my way of thinking . I

33:28am very open when it comes to those

33:30various , let’s say , supernatural

33:32things , and what I believe in , and so

33:34on . So , I'm quite open to the fact that

33:38I generally believe in a higher power .

33:41And do you trust yourself ?

33:46>> Yes , but again , for me it's about how I

33:48listen to myself , meaning do I listen

33:50to what my body tells me , or do I

33:52listen to those voices inside me ? But

33:56it's incredibly difficult to separate .

33:58You'll probably understand me here ,

34:00that it's very hard to separate what is

34:02some kind of fear of yours and what

34:04your mind is suggesting , telling you : "

34:05Don't go there , don't go there , "

34:07because

34:07>> i-is it intuition

34:10>> and is it intuition , or are these my

34:12fears speaking first , like my patterns

34:14and automatic reactions that speak

34:15first ?

34:17>> Or maybe the body speaks first ? So I

34:21think this is something I'm constantly

34:23learning , and I think it's a

34:24never-ending journey for each of us to

34:26just find our way in all of this . But

34:34darn , somehow I've said this before too

34:35, and I don't want it to sound like

34:37that , but it's interesting because

34:38today I feel like I'm afraid to say

34:40something because I've already said it ,

34:42and a thought occurred to me because

34:43they saw and heard .

34:47>> But I think it's more about the fact

34:48that if I've already said it , it means

34:50it's the truth . You know what I mean ,

34:56that there's no ... It really comes from

34:58within me , that I truly believe to the

34:59max that there are angels standing

35:01there and they often guide me , and I

35:03just send out a request along the lines

35:05of " let what is best for me and all

35:06beings around me happen , " you know ? And

35:13I simply believe that what happens , is

35:14meant to happen for me . Even those

35:17difficult moments ,

35:18>> especially those difficult ones ,

35:20>> those moments of disappointment , tears ,

35:22sadness .

35:24>> Especially those difficult ones , they

35:26are mainly there so that I can do some

35:28work on myself and , you know , meet

35:30myself .

35:31>> What do you think about the saying ?

35:32Suffering ennobles . I understand it and

35:40I think there is a lot of truth in it .

35:45I-I mean I don't know what another path

35:51is , because I also , in a way , arrived

35:53at many things through pain and

35:54suffering , yes , and

35:57>> psychological ,

35:58>> yes , and that kind of meeting with

36:00oneself in those difficult moments . For

36:04me , I believe there is also another

36:06path , that one can reach enlightenment

36:07simply by being a fluttering butterfly

36:09throughout one's life , somehow touching

36:11it . However , I think that , after all ,

36:19bouncing back from those most difficult

36:21events is what makes you fly high .

36:25>> Who or what do you need most at that

36:27point to bounce back ? Well , I’ll tell

36:32you , I’m lucky because , as I’ve

36:33told my friends , I have an amazing

36:35therapist , and now I think we’re more

36:37at the stage of being friends . We’re

36:42more likely to just call each other now

36:44than have an actual therapy session .

36:52But having someone that wise by your

36:53side , who is simply able to distinguish

36:55for you sometimes what what is your

37:03true self , and what is made up of all

37:05those fragments of fears and unresolved

37:07, unsettled matters within yourself .

37:13>> Well , that is probably the most

37:14valuable thing for me .

37:15>> Can you recognize love ? I think so , but

37:23I think it’s also darn , you see ,

37:30because it’s like this : when I’m

37:32very close to myself and I’m

37:34operating from a place of love for

37:35people , then it’s very easy for me to

37:37sense if it’s mutual . And I’m not

37:44even talking about romantic love , but

37:45just that energy of love that we humans

37:47can send to each other . No , but if

37:53I’m lost within myself , distracted ,

37:55totally exhausted , overworked with

37:57responsibilities , and generally hanging

38:00by a thread , and this hurts , that I

38:01can’t get up , and so on , then it’s

38:04hard for me . Then I don’t recognize

38:10anything ; I just run on autopilot to

38:11make it through , right ? But obviously ,

38:16I’m asking about that romantic love ,

38:18because you met someone important ,

38:20significant enough to your existence

38:21that you are together , and a daughter

38:23came into the world . So , were you able

38:28to recognize that moment ? I read that

38:32you met on Instagram . It was simply

38:35someone who sent you a

38:38>> message that landed in that folder for

38:39unfollowed accounts . Am I quoting that

38:41correctly ? Yes , yes , yes , yes , yes , yes

38:45.

38:45>> And you opened it , you read it . Well , I

38:50know that today there are various

38:51options , various philosophies , and

38:53various paths and ways to find someone

38:55for life , but there must have been

38:56something there for you that made you

38:58open it and that the story has such an

39:00end . No , I don’t know if it’s a

39:04happy one , you have to insert that

39:05yourself .

39:06>> Mhm . Happy , happy ,

39:07>> happy .

39:08>> You know , I think I was captivated by

39:10the truth

39:11>> in what he wrote

39:13>> and overall by this whole meeting with

39:15this exceptional person , because this

39:23is such a valuable meeting for me , such

39:25a life-changing one , romantic , of

39:27course . However , here it was more a

39:38need for growing together , and that’s

39:40something that no one can take away

39:42from us — that we learn so much from

39:43each other , and my partner teaches me

39:45that , you know , I was always such a

39:47dreamer ,

39:52>> a princess .

39:59>> There’s a bit of that princess thing

40:01in me , like from Disney , you know , him

40:02on his white horse , flowers everywhere ,

40:04me in that dress , and all that ;

40:06that’s still in me somewhere , but he

40:08often brings me back to earth , saying :

40:10" Stop , today we’re talking ; I’m

40:12telling you what I need , and you’re

40:14telling me what you need — what I can

40:16agree to , what I don't , what you agree

40:18to , and what you don't . " It’s

40:27interesting , because he very often

40:28reminds me that I’m just Olga to him ,

40:30not Olga the actress , Olga the public

40:32figure , and so on .

40:35>> You needed that .

40:37>> So much . I’m really happy about it ,

40:41because he brings me back to life , to

40:43being here and now .

40:46>> More than the kids ?

40:48>> Well , I think both at the same time .

40:50Mhm .

40:52>> The kids are on a different level , but

40:54with him , he’s the one who reminds me

40:56of those kinds of values . He is often

41:00the one who reminds me . Are you sure

41:03you want it this way ?

41:05>> Shouldn’t we take a breather now ? And

41:10of course , when I need help , he’s

41:11there and he’ll help me , but it’s

41:13not from that place — he won’t treat

41:15me like a princess , like " you sit there

41:17, I’ll do it . "

41:21>> But

41:22>> so that Disney stuff didn’t work out

41:23here ?

41:24>> No , not at all . And I think that’s

41:26exactly why it makes sense .

41:29>> Yeah .

41:30>> I can already feel the indignation on

41:31the other side . They’re thinking : " Oh

41:33no , oh no , our princess can’t be a

41:35princess at home . "

41:37>> No , well , okay , that would have been

41:39too much ,

41:40>> too sweet .

41:41>> Mhm . No , besides , I think I’m only

41:47just now starting to really understand

41:49and learn what partnership truly is and

41:51what it’s actually about , and what ...

41:53because you know , the fact that I’ve

41:55worked on myself and I know what I want

41:57and don’t want is great , but then a

41:58person appears in front of you and

42:00that’s such a challenge ; the closer

42:02you get , the more things trigger that

42:03you had no idea were even in there .

42:11>> Buried . Inside you . Exactly , those are

42:15the roles , those are the lessons .

42:17>> And when do you rest ? Because if you

42:20have work , and at home , I understand

42:22you’re being confronted too ,

42:24>> right ? But we know how to rest together

42:26, you know .

42:27>> Okay . That’s also great , that we

42:29really do . I think there’s just so

42:34much maturity in this relationship , and

42:36this sense that sometimes when

42:37there’s no energy , well , there’s no

42:39energy , so we just let go and stay home

42:41and rake leaves , you know ,

42:44>> in the garden . These are our things ,

42:47right ?

42:49>> So we kind of rest together . I’m also

42:53learning that I don't always have to

42:55rest by myself . I used to think , oh , I

42:57need to have this time alone because

42:59it’s my time , and that’s when I

43:01recharge and so on . But now , for

43:04example , I draw from this time together

43:07>> and it can also be non-overstimulating .

43:10>> Like this tapping .

43:11>> Well , I admire you for that too ,

43:13>> you know . I’m admiring myself today .

43:16I’m having such a day today ,

43:17everything has happened already . And

43:20the day isn’t even over yet . Sorry .

43:24Should we cut this or not ?

43:27>> Let’s not cut it . Maybe , maybe such

43:29moments are , you know ,

43:31>> don't cut it ,

43:32>> no , because it is

43:36>> it is tangible proof that life will

43:37always demand its due . life , what is

43:44everyday , what is reality , that you can

43:46sit on that cloud , hang on that swing ,

43:48wear those little dresses , princess ,

43:51but it will remind you : " Hello ,

43:54>> yes ,

43:54>> here is life , and now what will you do

43:57with what I bring you ? "

44:00>> Yes , exactly , and I think the sooner we

44:02realize that this is the most important

44:04part of us here on earth , right ? that

44:09life that is truly real . Well , I think

44:14motherhood shows us this very clearly

44:15and distinctly .

44:18>> Let’s pause on that for a moment ,

44:20because you are a very young person ,

44:22still a young mom . You have small

44:26children , you’re a young person , and

44:27you don’t , you don’t fit into the

44:29standards of today's world of your

44:31peers or women younger than you . The

44:34trend today of not starting families ,

44:36not having children , as you know , is

44:38huge . Girls in their 20s , well , those

44:41in their 30s probably have a different

44:43attitude , but you were 27 when you had

44:45your first child .

44:47>> 25 when I got pregnant ,

44:48>> so 26 when you gave birth to

44:50>> your son . Well , you were a very young

44:54person by the standards of today's

44:56parenting , and it's surprising and very

44:58heartening that it happens somewhere ,

45:00it’s possible . And what do you think

45:06about these decisions of contemporary

45:08women , that they decide to be alone ,

45:10prefer to be single , prefer , it is so

45:16offensive to such women , saying " have a

45:19dog and a cat instead of a child . "

45:21>> Absolutely . I don’t overthink it at

45:23all . I have this feeling that everyone

45:27really has their own path , and if

45:28someone feels that way , then what’s

45:33it to me ?

45:34>> Mhm . I I love my life the way it is ,

45:39even if it is sometimes a huge

45:41challenge for me , and and that early

45:43motherhood was also a challenge for me ,

45:45and I also know that I am a completely

45:47different mom to Aniela than I was to

45:49Aleksy . Completely . They are two

45:53different women altogether .

45:55>> Mhm . And I realize that , but if I

45:57hadn't gone through that with Alex , I

45:59would never in my life have been such a

46:01mom to Aniela . That's why I know it had

46:04to be that way in my life

46:07>> and I totally , like , go along with it ,

46:09and generally , as life carries me , I

46:11just go with the flow . Of course ,

46:14holding onto some remnant of hope that

46:16I have any control over anything at all

46:18, though not much , but I absolutely do

46:20not judge . Mhm .

46:22>> You know , it's so individual and I

46:27think you also have to feel to the max

46:29that you just want to be a mom . I

46:34always felt that and I still feel it ,

46:36and it is still such an important piece

46:38of me .

46:40>> Mhm . It's so edifying for me and and I

46:44just can't imagine it any other way .

46:48>> Is it true that an important person in

46:49your life was Agnieszka Maciąg ? Mhm .

46:53We never met . I recently said this in a

46:58podcast that her books fell into my

47:00hands exactly at that moment in life

47:02when I just needed them very much . So

47:07>> meaning back when it was hardest .

47:08>> Yes . Yes . I remember that her book "

47:15Your Inner Power " really awakened that

47:17inner power of mine at that stage , just

47:19the way she wrote it and how I felt

47:20that it was exactly for me . So so it

47:28was important .

47:29>> Agnieszka combined the worlds of

47:31spirituality . It was no problem for her

47:34, to meditate and at the same time

47:38believe that there is something more

47:40above us . Whether you call it God , or

47:43energy , or the universe , though she

47:45probably most often spoke directly

47:47about God . For you , was that compatible

47:52, because you are , as I understand from

47:54what I've read , a believer or a

47:56religious person , or has that changed ?

47:59>> It is interesting at all to be in such

48:01a public space and give such various

48:03interviews and conversations at the

48:05stage of life you are in . And then

48:07suddenly you go back to those

48:09conversations from , I don't know , six

48:10years ago , let's say . You think to

48:12yourself : " Wow , I thought that way then

48:14, today I don't think like that at all .

48:15" No ,

48:16>> well , that is the natural path of human

48:18development and beautiful on the other

48:20hand . I just think

48:22>> and Agnieszka really had something like

48:24that in her in her , she , she combined

48:28it all so nicely , and she saw meaning

48:30in it , and I did too

48:32>> I saw meaning in it and I still see it

48:34somewhere . But right now , for example ,

48:38I really resonate with , like , Buddhist

48:43philosophy . I’m really exploring it

48:46deeply , because I like to know , I like

48:48to draw from various sources . And

48:51suddenly it turns out that it all

48:53actually is

48:53>> one

48:54>> very much one .

48:56>> Exactly . And and and that the meaning

48:58is one .

49:00>> Mm . And it's also cool , for example ,

49:02because of that , I have conversations

49:04with my son , who experienced some

49:06difficult situation at school . I tell

49:09him : " Son , it's just like when we watch

49:12those cartoons , and you saw that

49:14cartoon , that , um , some master of the

49:19wind or something like that . " " And that

49:21he has to master the power of his mind

49:23to be able to control the wind . " I say

49:26to him : " My son , you first have to

49:28master your own mind . " " And he says : ' Is

49:30that like a Jedi ? ' " " Yes . " I say , yeah ,

49:34that that is exactly who we are , right .

49:40And later , all this different knowledge

49:41that I’m exploring , picking up on

49:43various things , I then have to figure

49:45out how to tell a seven-year-old so

49:47that he gets it . I recently had a

49:52fantastic conversation with him about

49:54that , about religiosity too . On the way

49:58to my nephew's daughter's christening ,

50:00and at the same time , well , it's

50:01probably not a secret anymore , because

50:03I think I said it somewhere , that my

50:05partner is a Buddhist . Because of that ,

50:09we have quite a big family mix-up . So

50:11we're driving to this christening and

50:12Aleks asks me what a christening is . So

50:14we start telling him . But my partner

50:17also explains that , well , he sees it

50:19differently , that he believes that ,

50:21like , we , that it is precisely our work

50:23with the mind . Everything that happens ,

50:26that he doesn't surrender it to any

50:28higher power .

50:30>> And then Alek asks me : " But what is the

50:32mind ? "

50:33>> Exactly .

50:35>> And my partner answers him : " The mind

50:37is what sees through your eyes and what

50:39hears through your ears , but it cannot

50:40see itself . " We stopped the

50:43conversation there , because Alex looked

50:45out the window and was like looking

50:47into the distance , and I saw that it

50:49was processing for him , but that he

50:50wouldn't take in any more today , and

50:52the next day we're driving to school in

50:54the morning , and he says to me : " Mom ,

50:56so the mind is the soul . " So you know ,

51:03I have chills , my heart is just

51:04pounding , because I think to myself

51:06that for such moments I have a

51:08fascination with exploring this life at

51:09all , because then I talk to my

51:11seven-year-old who tells me the mind is

51:13the soul and for me that makes sense .

51:18Hm . I understand you completely .

51:22>> Well , that's beautiful , actually . It's

51:26interesting that I often use the phrase

51:28" that makes sense , " and I only just

51:30realized it now , when this film ,

51:33>> yes , this film has that title , and the

51:35title was changed , and actually , it's

51:37good they changed it .

51:38>> And what was it originally ?

51:39>> A Bit of Sense .

51:42>> This Olga , since we're back on the

51:43topic of the film for a moment , she is

51:45a burden to those around her .

51:50>> Were you , Olga , the real you , ever like

51:52that ? I don't know .

51:56>> Are you a " do-it-myself " type ?

51:58>> Yes .

52:00>> Are you a " I'll handle everything

52:01myself " type ?

52:04>> Are you a " I have a problem , so I'll

52:06sit with it myself " type ? Since

52:11childhood , I remember being a little

52:13old soul and a " do-it-myself " kid .

52:15Because if you're 7 years old and you

52:17start working ,

52:18>> Mhm .

52:21>> So , indeed , those two funny

52:22descriptions really stayed with me .

52:26>> Can you imagine your seven-year-old

52:27Alex going to perform in a play now ?

52:29>> No. He asked me recently what I was

52:31doing when I was 7 . I said I was

52:33already performing on stage back then ,

52:35and he couldn't believe it , you know ? I

52:39myself , looking at him , only now truly

52:42understand how much organization it

52:44required of me , being really tiny . You

52:51know , I would go to the theater , change

52:54costumes , run onto the stage , learn

52:56choreography and songs ; those were huge

52:58things , and indeed , the theater and

53:00musical world really raised me .

53:04>> But I understand , in terms of

53:06discipline . Very high discipline . Mhm .

53:10But you know , it was mainly

53:11self-discipline because I wanted it so

53:13much and I cared about it so much ,

53:15simply because I loved it . I loved it

53:19so much that I cared to the max that

53:21everything happened exactly as it was

53:23supposed to .

53:24>> But didn't Aniela start performing

53:25earlier ? Yes , she really has such a

53:29resume , you know ,

53:33>> unrepeatable .

53:34>> Unrepeatable . Basically , you could

53:38write that she worked during the

53:40prenatal period , being in my belly .

53:42>> And since when has she been on the set

53:44of * Rodzinka * ?

53:45>> Oh my , I don't know . She was probably

53:47about 10 months old , or nine , something

53:49like that .

53:50>> Is it good to have your child with you

53:51at work ? It is work . I made those

53:54decisions very consciously , and this is

53:59a unique project . Meaning , working on *

54:03Rodzinka * is a bit different for me than

54:05anywhere else ,

54:07>> and , like , the production really took

54:09care of our comfort , so I simply felt

54:11safe with those people .

54:13>> Holding her in your arms , are you at

54:14work , or how does that feel to you ?

54:16What is this ? Is this a change for you

54:18as an actress ?

54:20>> I'm not an actress at all then . I'm

54:22totally focused on Aniela , you know ?

54:24It’s good enough that I know the

54:26script and that's it ,

54:28>> because it's absolutely , it's all about

54:30her , and I'm very okay with that ,

54:34>> because there's this old truth on film

54:36sets that it’s hardest to work with

54:38children and animals on set , right ?

54:41That it's about some higher philosophy .

54:45>> I think that if we were acting with a

54:46stranger's child , in the sense that ,

54:48you know , a child normally cast for a

54:50movie , it would be much harder , because

54:52that child would be separated from its

54:54mother , right ?

54:58>> And it would have to hug me , which is

55:00kind of against nature , so I was also

55:02kind of stepping away from that .

55:06>> Mhm . And since my partner didn't have

55:12any problem with me taking Aniela to

55:13the set , we decided that this would

55:15just be best for all of us .

55:18>> Will you return to foreign productions

55:20someday ?

55:21>> I didn't go to one casting recently .

55:23>> You’ve acted in German , you’ve

55:25acted in Russian .

55:25>> And this casting was supposed to be in

55:27Italian .

55:28>> Oh , you didn't go because ...

55:33>> Well , exactly , damn , I don't know . I

55:39think it’s probably about those

55:41choices , you know , family life and

55:43career , that maybe , in the end , it

55:44could have been worked out , but at that

55:47specific moment when I was , when that

55:49casting came , a few weeks ago , I was

55:50also in such an overload at work that I

55:59just couldn't handle the idea of

56:01leaving and working somewhere else . I

56:06just think this is a stage where I'm

56:08not ready for such long trips yet . I

56:13think when Aniela is older and I can

56:15take her with me and have a bit of a

56:16different time with her , then okay , or

56:18that she will be ready for it too . You

56:23know , I'm still young , I still have

56:25plenty of time for such things .

56:27>> That's true . I don't know , when you sat

56:29down here , I looked at you with

56:31admiration , and after this conversation

56:33, I look with even more .

56:34>> You don't admire me anymore . I look

56:37with even more , and I wonder what to

56:39wish for you , because I have the

56:40impression that you have this core

56:42inside you , an inner compass , that

56:48protects you , guides you , tells you

56:50what to do , and . And despite this aura

56:55of a very subtle , delicate person , you

56:57really know what you want , and it

56:59doesn't have to please anyone , and you

57:00don't care about that at all . And I

57:05know it will be hard for you , but on

57:07the other hand , it will be easy for you

57:08. So

57:10>> Thank you for saying that , because

57:11it’s important to me , too . Because

57:14you know , conversations like this — um

57:16— not just surface level , but like the

57:18one with you , are always a kind of

57:20challenge . You know , I’m very honest

57:23in these conversations because I

57:25don’t know how to be otherwise , and I

57:27feel that if I come here and give my

57:29time , energy , and myself .

57:35>> It’s so this conversation might reach

57:37someone who feels me in this talk ,

57:38maybe sees themselves in it , maybe has

57:40a similar story or something ; so that

57:42our conversation can carry something

57:44good forward . But I won't hide the fact

57:51that it takes a lot of courage , because

57:53I know that , well , there are tons of

57:55people watching from the sidelines who

57:57might not be happy that I'm saying

57:58these things , right ? They might not

58:01like it .

58:03>> I am aware of that . Yeah . Oh well ,

58:09I’ll keep doing my thing . I’ll keep

58:15doing my thing because , as long as my

58:16heart leads me and I know I’m where

58:18I’m supposed to be , I believe it will

58:20always stand the test .

58:23>> Mhm .

58:23>> And that , simply put , what is real will

58:26defend itself . I’ve already spent so

58:28much of my life pretending . I really

58:31don’t want to pretend to be anyone

58:32anymore . I’m very sorry for the noise

58:35from behind the wall .

58:36>> Well , I’ll tell you , for me , it’s

58:38also a challenge , because for a change ,

58:40I don’t have ADHD or anything like

58:41that . Although maybe I do , maybe it’s

58:43time to get a diagnosis instead of just

58:45saying that , because it might turn out

58:47that ...

58:48>> Anyway , you know , for me , it’s

58:50difficult because ...

58:53>> because all the time , but it’s also

58:55wonderful , because you have to keep

58:57calling yourself back to yourself ,

58:58right ? [ inaudible ] of what you’re

59:03saying .

59:04>> And here I’m going to repeat myself

59:06again . I’m just having a day of

59:08repetitions , because that’s life ,

59:10because it will constantly discipline

59:11us , it will call us to order , or it

59:13will say : " Well , what will you do about

59:15the fact that I’m bothering you now ,

59:17right ? " You have some goal , you’re

59:20stubborn about something , you’ve

59:21already chosen it and you have to get

59:23there ,

59:25>> and then something gets thrown in your

59:27way and you think : " Aha , okay , maybe

59:29not then . " And in such situations , what

59:31do you do ? Do you push yourself and

59:33struggle to get your way , or when you

59:35know life is throwing obstacles in your

59:37path , do you let go ?

59:39>> It varies , it really varies . It varies .

59:42Before we turned the cameras on , I told

59:44you that sometimes I feel like I

59:45already have so many tools to deal with

59:47various situations .

59:48>> Mhm .

59:50>> And sometimes I just don't have the

59:52strength to use such a tool , you know ?

59:54That sometimes I'm , for example , so

59:56overloaded and I sort of know I could

59:58do a meditation , that I could , I don't

59:59know , calm my nervous system , because

1:00:01it's – I don't know – I can use it , I

1:00:06did a Reiki course and I can use Reiki

1:00:08energy , but I don't do it anyway ,

1:00:09because I just don't have the strength

1:00:11to , like , pull myself together , even

1:00:13though I know all that and I have it .

1:00:15So it's also sometimes about the fact

1:00:17that , well ,

1:00:18>> we are human , too .

1:00:21>> I also have this opinion after years of

1:00:23searching , that there are so many of

1:00:25these tools and more and more of them ,

1:00:27and there is only one thing missing .

1:00:31Time for it . No one will give that back

1:00:33to us , right . So you have to remember .

1:00:36Time is the most valuable currency

1:00:38today , it's the most important , because

1:00:40it allows you to build relationships ,

1:00:42draw from them , and no tools will find

1:00:44their application if there's simply no

1:00:46time and space for it , and that's it .

1:00:49Well

1:00:50>> yes

1:00:51>> so , well

1:00:53>> we wish everyone

1:00:54>> yes

1:00:55>> time ,

1:00:56>> yes , time for yourself , time for others

1:00:58, time for relationships , time for love

1:01:01, time for rest

1:01:04>> or just not to waste it on what , on

1:01:09what makes no sense .

1:01:11>> M

1:01:11>> what you don't see the point in , right ?

1:01:13>> Yes . Not that it makes no sense , but

1:01:15what you don't see your own

1:01:17>> sense in . I would like you to sit here

1:01:21in 10 years in this chair and tell me

1:01:23who you are today , or back then . You're

1:01:26invited .

1:01:27>> Thank you very much and I accept the

1:01:29invitation right now , because I'm

1:01:31already curious who I will be , or how ,

1:01:33what will be in 10 years .

1:01:34>> Then we'll see each other ,

1:01:36>> see you .

1:01:36>> Thank you . M.