Why Needing Love Keeps You From Receiving It

0:00I don't do relationship. I don't see a

0:01good one. Why would I choose it? The

0:03universe is there going, hey, we've got

0:05all of this to gift you and you're like,

0:07nope, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing

0:09that. And you are refusing. Maybe you

0:11don't need a relationship. You could

0:13just choose one. If you come out of the

0:15need and into the choice universe,

0:19different reality. If you're not

0:20choosing for you, you're not honoring

0:22you. What if it was time to stop lying

0:24to yourself? And what if it was time to

0:26find out who you are? What if you

0:28actually chose a relationship where you

0:31just enjoy each other? That would be

0:33something different.

0:38I was talking about relationships to

0:40Gary Douglas in Sydney, Australia many,

0:43many years ago. My point of view was I

0:46don't do relationship. I don't do

0:47relationship because I don't see a good

0:49one. Like that I was literally like no,

0:51I'm not doing it. I don't see a good

0:53one. Why would I choose it? Now, there's

0:56a couple of things with that point of

0:58view that were very much limiting me.

1:00One is there was no question. It was

1:02just a conclusion. Number two is I was

1:06using everybody else's choice in this

1:09world as a reference point to what I

1:12could choose. So, two things I started

1:15to look at was okay, anywhere that I'm

1:17creating a conclusion in my life doesn't

1:20create anything greater. You literally

1:22can't go beyond it. You go, I'm not

1:23doing it. You know, no thanks. The

1:26universe is there going, hey, we've got

1:28all of this to gift you and you're like,

1:29nope, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing

1:31that. And you are refusing. You

1:34literally are refusing to re receive. So

1:37everywhere that you've been refusing to

1:39receive, we destroy and uncre it, right

1:42and wrong, good and bad, pock shorts,

1:44boys, prosid, and beyond. my backend

1:47girl has put the um link down below

1:49there the clearingstatement.com which

1:51you can find out more about that there

1:53if you choose. So

1:56this tool Gary said to me he started

1:58talking to me about it and uh and

2:00there's a you know there's a whole lot

2:01of stories that went with it but one of

2:03the things I realized was I was looking

2:06I thought I had this point of view that

2:08you had to look at somebody else in

2:10order to fulfill you like to complete

2:13you. I mean every Hollywood, Bollywood

2:15film, etc., you know, has that energy

2:18with it where you require your other

2:20half. You know, every fairy tale that

2:22you grew up with, it's like the prince

2:24is coming to get you and he's white

2:26horse, etc. You know, you'll be saved

2:28being a woman, it's like you need to

2:30have a man um you know, to look after

2:33you to blah blah blah. All of this has

2:35been impinged upon us our whole entire

2:39life and probably lifetimes. So

2:41everywhere that you are functioning from

2:43what has been imposed upon you uh the

2:47projections the expectations about how

2:51you should be in relationships will you

2:53destroy and uncreate it right and wrong

2:55good and bad pock and pot all n shorts

2:57boys pros and beyond so the tool that I

3:00started using is called five elements of

3:03intimacy now the tool of five elements

3:06of intimacy is there's five elements

3:08right there's trust there's honor,

3:11there's allowance, there's gratitude,

3:13and there's vulnerability.

3:16Now, those five elements of intimacy

3:18that I'm going to ask that you have with

3:20you, you can listen to this right now,

3:22and you can take this tool away. Okay?

3:24And this is what I started to do because

3:26as Gary spoke to me about relationships

3:29and I realized that I just had this no,

3:31you know, and I had this and I also had

3:34the do I need a man to look after me,

3:37you know, this. So, you have this

3:38conflictual paradigm. So how many of you

3:41have a conflictual paradigm that you

3:42function from? So you say you want this

3:45but you don't want this and it's like

3:47and then it's sort of like these

3:48loggerheads against each other. So you

3:50end up in this fight with what is

3:53actually available rather than being in

3:55question and able to choose what is

3:58going to create greater for you. So the

4:01five elements of intimacy

4:04thing is we look for that in somebody

4:06else. We look for who's grateful for me,

4:09you know, who can be honoring of me,

4:10etc. What if you started with you?

4:14Like what if you started having these

4:16five ele elements of intimacy with you?

4:18What if you were enough? Because if you

4:21have these five elements of intimacy

4:23with you, then you can have it with

4:25somebody else. I mean, do you like a

4:28needy person? And if you're like needing

4:31from somebody else to be this for you,

4:34then it's sort of got that like that

4:36like you know weird funky energy where

4:39you're like oh god this person is always

4:40so needy they're always needing me to

4:42validate them etc instead of what if you

4:45actually chose a relationship where you

4:48just enjoyed each other that would be

4:50something different and I'm not just

4:52talking about a relationship that you

4:54have you know with somebody that you're

4:55having sex with or you would like to I'm

4:58talking about your friendships your

5:00colleagues every person that you have in

5:03your life if you have these five

5:05elements of intimacy with you, then you

5:07can have something different, a

5:09relationship done different with

5:12everybody around you.

5:14So, the tool with these five elements of

5:18intimacy is what I would suggest is

5:21writing them down on a post-it note and

5:23put it on your bathroom mirror. I have

5:25done this. I still have it on my

5:26bathroom mirror. I actually rewrote it

5:28again not long ago. And I wrote down

5:31these five elements. So every morning

5:33and every night time when I'm brushing

5:35my teeth, I would just look at it

5:37brushing my teeth, you know, cuz I have

5:39one of those like, you know, vibrator

5:41ones that goes for 2 minutes, etc. And I

5:44would look at it and it wasn't about

5:46judging me. And it's not about judging

5:48you. It's about having the clarity and

5:51sort of wiping that slate clean. And

5:53that's the way access works. When you

5:56use the clearing statement, as we said

5:58before, and I'll use it again, it's like

6:00pressing the delete button. So, if as

6:03I'm standing there brushing my teeth and

6:04I'm asking the question, okay, so where

6:07have I not been honoring of me today?

6:10Now, it's not about, you know, judging

6:12it as I said and finding out going, "Oh

6:14god, that was terrible. I was such a

6:15to myself there." Or, you know, I

6:18should judge myself for that. No, it's

6:19not about that. It's just about

6:21acknowledging it. Because if you're not

6:24choosing for you, you're not honoring

6:26you.

6:27So, as you're, you know, brushing your

6:29teeth, asking this question, you may

6:31have something that pops cognitive like

6:33that, you can go, "Oh, yeah, this

6:34situation." Or it might just be an

6:36energy. A lot of the times it is just an

6:39energy. And it's about destroying and

6:41uncreating that energy so that you can

6:44have a different space available. You

6:46can have this space that's you.

6:50That's actually what you would gain from

6:52the five elements of intimacy. So I

6:55would ask wherever I'm not being

6:56honoring of myself today, where am I not

6:59being trusting of myself today? Where am

7:02I not being in allowance of myself

7:05today? Where am I not being grateful for

7:08myself today?

7:10And where am I not being vulnerable with

7:12myself today?

7:14and everything that that is destroy and

7:16uncreated times of Godzelium because

7:19Godzelian is a number so big that only

7:22God knows and it's a joke right and

7:24wrong good and bad pock and pod all n

7:26shorts boys and beyond

7:30what are you avoiding by not choosing to

7:33be trusting of yourself to be honoring

7:35of yourself to being vulnerable with

7:37yourself to be in allowance of yourself

7:40to being grateful for yourself like what

7:43are you avoiding

7:45Are you avoiding you?

7:48Are you avoiding your capacities?

7:51Are you avoiding what could show up?

7:54Are you avoiding the greatness of you?

7:57Are you avoiding acknowledging the

8:00difference you are?

8:03Are you avoiding acknowledging that

8:05maybe you don't need a relationship,

8:09you could just choose one and everything

8:11at that is times a godzilion. We destroy

8:13and uncreate it. Right and wrong, good

8:16and bad. Pock and P all n shorts, boys,

8:18poets and beyond. So that is one way of

8:21how you can use this tool of the five

8:22elements of intimacy. Like I said,

8:25recently I rewrote these out and I put

8:27it on my bathroom mirror and I've been

8:29using them with asking same questions,

8:33some, you know, added questions,

8:34whatever pops into my world, but where

8:36am I not being? All of these five

8:38elements of intimacy with my body,

8:42with my business,

8:45with money. I mean, money is an really

8:47interesting topic cuz it's like how many

8:49of you are not grateful for the money

8:52that you have? Even if it's $1,

8:56if you have a level of gratitude for the

8:58money that you have, for the money that

9:00you have created,

9:02then that will allow it to expand.

9:05So everywhere that you are not being

9:08having the five elements of intimacy

9:10with money, with business and with your

9:12body, we will destroy and uncreate it.

9:14Right and wrong, good and bad, pock

9:16shorts, boys, pros and beyond. So like I

9:18said, this is a tool that I uh use all

9:22the time. I I absolutely love it. I It

9:25takes me to me.

9:28It It brings me It shows me me.

9:32And I think we've spent so much of our

9:35lives lying to ourselves. What if it was

9:38time to stop lying to yourself? And what

9:40if it was time to find out who you are?

9:43Like, who do you be? Because you know,

9:46you being you is literally one of the

9:49greatest miracles in the world.

9:52Not you trying to be like somebody else.

9:55Not you needing somebody else. Now I'm

9:58not saying don't do relationship. I'm

10:00saying choose it because it's fun.

10:01Choose it because it adds to your life.

10:03Choose it because it's joyful. If you

10:06are choosing relationship, you should be

10:08creating at least 20 times more with

10:10that person than what you would alone.

10:14So if you come out of the need and into

10:16the choice universe, different reality,

10:19really different reality. And for me,

10:22having those five elements of intimacy

10:23with you is where it starts. I am asking

10:28if you'd like to come and choose to be

10:31vulnerable enough that you can change

10:34what you think is not working in your

10:36life

10:38and discover you because you are great.

10:41You are phenomenal. Just watch this

10:43again. Listen to these processes again.

10:46Write it down on a post-it note. Use

10:48these tools. I would like you to have

10:49more of you. No matter what that takes

10:51and no matter what it looks like, would

10:53you like to have more of you? That's the

10:55question.

10:56Because I can't make you do anything.

10:59This is your choice. Don't trust me.

11:01Trust you. What is it that would work

11:03for you?