Full transcript
0:00so when they're young I go see her face
0:03her face is saying out
0:07out I said her whole
0:08right I taught you to look at her face I
0:10set your boundary
0:13kid can't talk whether they're 13 with
0:15autism or they're shy
0:19elective mutism selective mutism or
0:23they're a baby then when they get older
0:26I go I'd look at her did you like it no
0:30you didn't like it
0:33say I don't like it and they'll go
0:36okay close enough she wants you to touch
0:40her like this
0:41then as you get older I go did you like
0:44it no tell her I don't like it
0:47she wants you to touch her like this
0:48because I'm still doing a bulk of the
0:50work as they get a little older did you
0:51like it no say I don't like it when you
0:54push me what would you like her to do
0:57instead of push
0:59walk around me ah tell her I don't like
1:02it walk around me you see I'm I'm the
1:05boundary I'm loaning my boundary
1:07information to you until you learn how
1:10to set your boundaries I don't like it
1:12when you call me stupid
1:15what do you want her to call you my name
1:17what tell her
1:18don't call me stupid call me Becky
1:20that's my name
1:24so as you get older and older and older
1:26and then as they get to be the older
1:28kids in middle school you'll see them
1:30just doing all kinds of mess with each
1:31other God help us uh
1:34but you go to the victim you say is that
1:36a right with you
1:38I've had them coming you know and they
1:39hug they do it you know they grabbing
1:41about the neck going down the hall
1:42giving noogies like this you know and
1:45you have to talk to the one under here
1:46I've gone down there and say is that all
1:48right with you
1:49you know got him and got you in a neck
1:51hole giving you noogies and usually
1:54especially these are guys they'll go
1:56it's not that bad
2:00and then what we do with him it says
2:02well it gets to be horrible say let go
2:06let go and I walk away and then you get
2:08about three steps over and you hear the
2:10kid go
2:10let go it's not fun anymore
2:13so you you have to do it slightly a
2:15little bit as they grow but we're
2:17constantly helping them with these
2:19boundaries how many people find that
2:21helping kids with their boundaries which
2:23is called hitting pushing shoving
2:24stepping on each other walking on each
2:26other calling them names how much of
2:28your day do you spend helping kids with
2:30boundaries
2:32all day long that is your job you're a
2:36boundary enforcer now we thought it was
2:38to squish them and hit him over the head
2:40when they did it as opposed to teach
2:42them and that's kind of what happened to
2:44us when we intruded on a boundary we
2:46just kind of got whacked you know so we
2:48didn't learn how to make our own but
2:51we're not only just keeping the peace so
2:53to speak we're empowering them with what
2:55we call SEL skills we are teaching them
2:57how to have healthy boundaries for the
2:59rest of their life which means we're
3:02helping them have a voice to grow up in
3:05a society where they have a voice and
3:07they feel like they can use it