Full transcript
0:00So much of what is Love is Fish Love.
0:04You love yourself.
0:10Love is a word that in our culture has almost lost it's meaning
0:17Oh,
0:18there is an interesting story about the Rebbi of Kotzk,
0:21who came across a young man who was clearly enjoying a dish of fish that he was eating.
0:28And he said,
0:29"Young man why are you eating that fish?"
0:31The young man said
0:33"Because I love fish."
0:35He said,
0:36"Oh! you love the fish
0:37that's why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it."
0:40He said,
0:41"Don't tell me you love the fish."
0:42"You love yourself."
0:44And because the fish tastes good to you,
0:46therefore,
0:48you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it.
0:51So much of what is love is fish love.
0:56And so,
0:58young couple falls in love.
0:59Young man and young woman fall in love,
1:01what does that mean?
1:02That means that he saw in this woman,
1:05someone who felt could provide him with all of his physical and emotional needs.
1:10And she saw in this man,
1:12somebody she feels that she can write "That was love".
1:15But each one is looking out for their own needs.
1:18It's not love for the other,
1:19the other person becomes a vehicle for ...
1:23my gratification.
1:25Too much of what is called Love is Fish Love.
1:29And an external love is not on what I'm going to get but what I'm going to give.
1:34We had an ethicist,
1:35Rabbi Dessler who said,
1:37The people make a serious mistake in thinking that you give to those whom you love.
1:44And the answer is,
1:45the real answer is you love those to whom you give.
1:51And his point is,
1:52if I give something to you,
1:54I've invested myself in you.
1:58And since Self-Love is a given,
2:00everybody loves themselves,
2:02now that part of me has become in you,
2:04there's part of me in you that I love.
2:07So, true love is a love of giving,
2:10not a love of receiving.
2:46This is the end of this video.
2:48Thank you for watching.
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2:53Bye bye