Full transcript
0:00Use the coupon " conselho " on the Grof
0:01website . Get your creatine , pre-workout
0:04, and save money on the best product on
0:06the market . Focus on yourself , your
0:09health , your day , and your energy . When
0:12men started talking among themselves
0:14about relationships and their shared
0:17experiences with women , we began to
0:19notice some patterns . Even more so now
0:23in the information age , WhatsApp ,
0:25Instagram DMs , those ghostings and
0:27monosyllabic replies , everyone thinks :
0:29" Wait a minute , wait , I'm not the only
0:31one . " No experience is unique . Is it
0:36true that you also go through
0:38situations where if you don't put in
0:40the effort to keep the conversation
0:43going , nothing happens , right ? I went
0:46through that too . Oh , me too . Oh , me
0:48too . Wait , hold on . What is happening ?
0:51Has it always been normal for men to
0:53humiliate themselves so much to get
0:55female attention ? One thing is certain .
0:59With the internet , the bar women set
1:01when dealing with you digitally has
1:02risen too much due to supply , right ?
1:06Think of the internet as a new form of
1:08relationship delivery . Back in the day ,
1:12in the offline world , you settled for
1:15the suitors in your neighborhood , your
1:17college , or at most , your workplace . If
1:21none of the men she met there — in the
1:24case of a woman — if none of the men
1:26she met in those environments , or
1:28rather , common circles , childhood
1:30friends , college , work , were
1:31interesting , she'd end up picking the
1:34least worst . Then she thinks , no , wait ,
1:38out of these guys , who has a cool
1:40presence , good conversation , a good
1:42future , etc. ? So , she chooses from that
1:46pool of options in her offline life .
1:49Now , think of a new pool , a new pool of
1:52infinite options . Welcome to social
1:56media . When the delivery of
1:58relationships changes , the bar also
2:00changes . Before , you would choose , gee ,
2:03out of these brothers here at church .
2:06Which one is the best one ? You didn't
2:08have much of a choice , you know ? So ,
2:11women ended up being forced to choose
2:13from those on the shelf . Now , if she
2:17doesn't like anyone at her church , she
2:19opens Instagram and starts picking out
2:22different men , with different
2:23purchasing power , from different
2:25realities , and ends up raising her bar
2:28too high . " Oh , the men at my church are
2:32nothing like the guys I follow on
2:34Instagram , who are ripped , have money ,
2:36status , and everything else . " I mean ,
2:39you end up like a Netflix channel , you
2:42open your streaming service and you
2:44spend more time choosing a movie than
2:47actually watching one . That's it . The
2:51illusion of multiple options makes a
2:53person stagnate , never feeling anyone
2:55is good enough . And when you think no
2:58one is good enough , you don't invest as
3:00much . You don't click on the movie , you
3:03don't invest in that conversation ,
3:04invest , wait , hold on , I really want to
3:06know who you are . Let's have a deep
3:09talk . Let's have a profound
3:11conversation . Really ? Tell me more
3:14about that . Don't forget it . Hmm . I'll
3:16keep this one on the back burner while
3:18this other one hasn't replied to me yet
3:20. And the modern woman ends up juggling
3:23things . Multiple hookups , but not going
3:26deep with any of them . And of course ,
3:29conversations turn into that thing : hi .
3:32Then disappears , how are you ? Yes . And
3:34you ? Disappears again ? Oh , cool , yeah .
3:38And you , and disappears again . So , many
3:42men have realized they’re the ones
3:44being ghosted , or having lukewarm
3:46conversations , or that if they don't
3:48drive the interaction , the woman
3:50doesn't invest as much as he does . But
3:53a lovely person here , her name is Kira
3:55Luise on Instagram , shout out to her .
3:58She made a funny Reel reversing the
4:00logic , as if it were the men who ghost
4:02and are uninteresting in conversations .
4:06Guys , hold on a minute , right ? Take it
4:08easy . I’ll get to the comments on
4:11this Reel in a bit , but first , let's
4:12keep going . So , she's simulating as if
4:15she were the talkative woman . So , what
4:18do you do for work ? What are your
4:20hobbies ? Who are you ? Your personality ,
4:22and he’s the guy playing it cool .
4:25Here we go .
4:26How was your day ?
4:27Oh , normal .
4:30What did you do ?
4:32Same as always .
4:33Same as always ? What kind of music do
4:35you like to listen to ?
4:36Oh , trap .
4:39Trap ? Just , just trap ?
4:40Yeah , trap .
4:42Don't you want to ask what I like to
4:43listen to ?
4:44You don't like trap ?
4:46What do you feel like ordering ? Do you
4:48have a favorite food ?
4:49Oh , whatever . I don't have a favorite
4:52anything . I don't know .
4:54My favorite food is pizza . Thanks for
4:56asking . How is your family ? Is your mom
4:58doing well ? Oh ,
4:59I don't know . I think so .
5:01You think so ? My mom is doing well too .
5:06What kind of people do you admire ? Ah ,
5:08Neymar , Chico Moedas , Arthur Aguiar ,
5:11Any woman ? Yeah , my mom , right ?
5:15And were you born here in the city ?
5:16I don't know .
5:17How do you not know ? How can you not
5:20know that ?
5:22I don't know ,
5:22Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo .
5:24Man , there are three criteria , you know
5:25? Messi dribbles better , he also has
5:26really good ball control .
5:28You know how to say no , you son of a
5:29[ __ ] .
5:29Ah , guys , I'm going to read a comment
5:32here and you'll understand my feelings
5:35about this kind of reel . Let's go .
5:40Usually it's the other way around , but
5:42okay . Haha . This here is ZQ's profile
5:48in the comments of this reel here .
5:51Another one here , Gustavo Henrique , "
5:54that's how you talk to a woman on
5:57WhatsApp , " and several others here
5:59commenting the same thing . And each of
6:03these comments has 3,000 , 4,000 likes .
6:07Men know it's the other way around ,
6:09they know it's the other way around ,
6:11but they pretend that , in fact , the
6:13monosyllabic ones in all of this are
6:15the men . Everyone knows that on a date ,
6:19the performance of making everything
6:22pleasant is up to the man . Everyone
6:25knows this . The woman herself knows
6:28this . The guy is the one who has to be
6:32interesting to even spark sexual desire
6:34in her , because for men , sex is more
6:36automatic and visual than it is for
6:38women . So , if the guy doesn't trigger
6:43the right words and talk the right way
6:45so that her imagination activates her
6:47sexual desire , nothing happens . So the
6:52guy already comes with this burden ,
6:55this onus of making the date work . He
6:58has to be the badass and the
7:00interesting one . Often , women even joke
7:03about it , right ? Some reels saying : " A
7:05man doesn't need to wear accessories
7:07because his accessory is me . " Then
7:09there's the woman all made up , posing ,
7:12in a gala dress , all full of luxury . I
7:16mean , sometimes women themselves
7:17position themselves as the prize of the
7:19date . " Just by me existing and being by
7:22your side on this date , you should
7:24thank God . " That's the vision of many
7:27women . Make it happen . Surprise me . How
7:32is it that Rusk says : " Men , do the
7:35basics . Don't even tell us where we're
7:39going . Just tell me the time and tell
7:42me to be ready . I want to turn my brain
7:44off when I go on a date . " This is the
7:48role of a gender , in this case , the
7:51male , that takes the luxury of being a
7:53dull guy , who keeps looking down , who
7:55isn't bothered by silence , and who
7:57doesn't have to have topics to develop
7:59and break the ice , break the silence .
8:02Of course not . So , most men know that
8:06the burden of seduction and making
8:08things happen , creating an atmosphere ,
8:09a killer vibe , is on their shoulders .
8:13The monosyllabic replies in private
8:16WhatsApp chats , DMs , etc. It’s
8:18usually a widespread male complaint and
8:21that dose of self-esteem you were
8:23missing to avoid being played for a
8:26fool in this type of relationship . My
8:31friend , when you are the guy she
8:34actually wants , everything changes , the
8:37magic happens . If she’s acting flakey
8:42— as it’s called abroad — the act of
8:45being lazy with messages , lazy in
8:48replying to you , lazy about setting a
8:51date , my brother , it’s because
8:53you’re her third-string option . She
8:59keeps you there orbiting around her ,
9:01throws you a crumb to keep you in
9:03reserve , and you’re left with the
9:05possibility , the hope of a possibility .
9:10And that is why when she finally agrees
9:13to go out with you , after stalling so
9:16much , she looks miserable the entire
9:18time , because you’re just the one who
9:21was left over . While another brother
9:26who has half the game , researched her
9:29interests less to try and figure out
9:31how to start a conversation , gets
9:34double your results , because the guy
9:36she’s complaining about is the guy
9:39she’s actually into . Catch the nerd
9:43reference here . It’s like Vegeta
9:45training in the gravity machine from
9:48Dragon Ball Z. It’s just like that .
9:51Put it up there . Gravity 100 . and
9:53training with weighted gear on . That is
9:58you trying to make a date work that
10:01started without her genuine interest .
10:05It’s that phrase we take as a mantra
10:07to keep men's self-esteem in check ,
10:09when you realize you're debasing
10:11yourself too much to get crumbs of
10:13conversation . If it’s hard for you ,
10:17it’s easy for someone else . I have
10:20never seen a woman , when she sees an
10:22interesting man , a high-value exception
10:25— since most say the dating pool is
10:27dry — I have never seen a woman , when
10:30she finds that man , let him slip
10:32through her fingers easily . Many women
10:36say they are fine without a man as a
10:39therapeutic way to deal with loneliness
10:41, when in reality , when that guy
10:43appears , she goes , " Boom , get over here
10:45, " and doesn't let go of the brother .
10:50She insists , starts conversations about
10:52anything , sends a meme , says " I thought
10:54of you , " things flow , it even gets
10:56light . Now , when you are not that guy
11:00to her , good grief , it feels like
11:02you're climbing a steep hill in a
11:04beat-up car . My God , every conversation
11:08, interaction , nothing clicks , it’s
11:10all disjointed . Do you want to go
11:13through that ? No. And that is exactly
11:17why many women get upset when channels
11:20like this say things like this to the
11:23average man , because they think : " Fine ,
11:26that hotshot guy , high status , elite ,
11:29desirable , might ignore me , be a bit
11:32lazy to ask me out . But this Joe Blow
11:36with self-esteem , I mean , the average
11:41man with self-esteem , am I really doing
11:43that bad that a guy like this thinks ,
11:45thinks I also have to reciprocate ? "
11:48It's because the average man is
11:50learning to have self-esteem and demand
11:52equal investment in an initial
11:54conversation and in a budding
11:56relationship . And not just the fit
11:59Instagram model guy who is flooded with
12:02girls ' DMs . So yes , the average , chill
12:06guy is also holding the ball now , honey
12:10. Forget it , it's going viral . Guys are
12:12choosing honor over humbling themselves
12:15like in the past . Leaving you with
12:18nothing but free validation from a
12:20bunch of drooling , low-value old men in
12:22your Instagram comments or DMs . A bunch
12:26of fifty or sixty-year-olds , rough
12:28around the edges , aged poorly , out of
12:30shape , sometimes even divorced from
12:32their fourth , beautiful , wonderful wife
12:35. Congratulations . Those only serve to
12:39inflate your ego . Actually , they don't
12:41even serve for that , because it comes
12:43from a low-value man . Well , we keep our
12:47guard up , personal investment on track ,
12:50and no one loses . I am Ricardo Tomé
12:53speaking , writing for the council . See
12:56you later .