Full transcript
0:04[music]
0:09[music]
0:17>> Hello everyone. I welcome you once again
0:19to our course Introduction to Medical
0:21Humanities.
0:22This is lecture 29 and in this
0:26particular lecture which is entitled
0:28Familial Neglect and Late Life Mental
0:31Health Challenges in Maine Gandhi Ko
0:33Nahi Mara and Goodbye, we are going to
0:36analyze something which is deeply
0:38personal.
0:40Why do I say that?
0:42That it is deeply personal? Because all
0:44of us must have experienced
0:49sometime an elderly
0:53person in our families
0:56who has
0:57felt spousal bereavement which means
1:00that their partners are not there any
1:02longer and they are coping up with that
1:05loneliness
1:07uh that
1:09whole idea of
1:12aging along with loneliness
1:15that is reflected through these two
1:17films uh and that's why I say it's a
1:20very personal kind of a reflection that
1:23you will
1:24feel through the analysis of these two
1:26films.
1:28Before I go ahead, I will
1:31share a quick overview of what I will
1:33do. I discuss the two texts that I have
1:36selected for analysis.
1:38I pick up the theme of spousal
1:40bereavement which I said is the loss of
1:44a partner uh in late life
1:47and how that
1:50event in one's life leads to anger and
1:53rigidity
1:55as masks for vulnerability. So you're
1:58vulnerable, but you are showing signs of
2:01anger and you are rigid.
2:04All this
2:05with shrinking support system because
2:09family members have gone for
2:12their own thing and what is left is
2:15bare minimum
2:17support system, sometimes a caregiver, a
2:20caregiver in terms of family
2:23or
2:24in terms of just a support.
2:28Within these spaces, I think the support
2:32system primarily has shrunk. So,
2:34something which was very robust at some
2:36point of time when one is young, when
2:38the spouse is alive, in this situation,
2:42the spouse is not there and the support
2:45system has also gone thin. How does this
2:48reflection take place in cinema? We
2:52choose these two films to talk about
2:53that. And within the spectrum of the
2:58emotions felt and the mental health
3:01issues that are raised, you find family
3:05as emotional anchor in late-life crisis.
3:08Both the films are exceptionally
3:12uh brilliant in projecting how in late
3:16life, when a situation of crisis
3:19arrives, it is the family that is the
3:21source of strength. It is the family
3:24that becomes the anchor.
3:26Clearly, an indication of how most of
3:28the Indian families are.
3:31The two texts that I have selected is
3:33Maine Gandhi Ko Nahi Mara, which came
3:35out in 2005,
3:37and Goodbye, which came out in '22.
3:40Now, in Maine Gandhi Ko Nahi Mara, you
3:43find that there is an aging professor.
3:47He is having
3:49guilt and psychological decline. So,
3:52clearly he's aging into uh disability.
3:56So, if you remember how I spoke about
3:59aging into disability, where aging in
4:01itself becomes
4:03a marker of how society perceives you
4:07and
4:08in this particular film that gets
4:10associated with
4:12her
4:13sense of identity and reality in which
4:16there is no spouse.
4:18The second film is Goodbye and it
4:21portrays spousal bereavement and
4:24emotional fractures within a modern
4:27Indian family. Now,
4:31the
4:32when the death happens, the husband
4:36takes up to perform all the rituals in a
4:39very rigid way
4:41and
4:42the film becomes a sensitive study of
4:45grief, generational disconnect and
4:48late-life psychological vulnerability. I
4:51think one word that I have not discussed
4:53here is generational disconnect, which
4:55means that the gap between generations.
4:59So, I think you must be familiar with
5:01the term generational gap. Earlier, they
5:03said it used to happen for 10 years.
5:05Now, they say it's five. I don't know. I
5:07have not read around it, but I know that
5:10two generations think in different way.
5:13Their pattern of
5:15dealing with different things are very
5:18differently approached and that is what
5:20this film talks about.
5:23Let us go with the first film, which is
5:25Maine Gandhi Ko Nahin Mara and it is the
5:27story of a retired professor who is
5:31confused and
5:34there is an obsessive kind of guilt
5:37in a diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease
5:40linking memory loss with emotional
5:43fragility at his age. So, he's an old
5:46person and there is a
5:50onset of Alzheimer's
5:52and
5:53with Alzheimer's, what happens is that
5:57there are sudden outburst, agitation,
6:00and frantic self-depends which is
6:03depicted through the erratic and
6:05frenzied state that accompanies
6:07cognitive decline. So he remembers his
6:10childhood uh
6:12uh episode with the Gandhi encounter and
6:15finally when his wife dies
6:19there is no emotional anchor left and
6:23the
6:24loneliness
6:26intensifies his psychological
6:28instability.
6:30His daughter, if you look at the
6:33previous slide here [snorts]
6:35she becomes the
6:37emotional anchor for him and she is also
6:42the compassionate caregiver.
6:44Yet
6:46because the caregiving responsibility is
6:48solely on her
6:50her exhaustion is also visible.
6:53And
6:54this indicates the need for a more
6:58robust system of support that is
7:01required during late life mental crisis.
7:06So uh
7:07in nutshell, that is what the film is
7:10all about.
7:11The film Goodbye which came out in 2022
7:15at the center of the narrative is Harish
7:18Bhalla.
7:20And he has recently lost his wife
7:22Gayatri
7:24to heart attack.
7:26Now the loss is not merely of a
7:28companion here
7:30but of a life anchor. Why? Because she
7:33was just
7:35holding the family together.
7:37And
7:39it's a beautiful relationship between an
7:41elderly couple how they have shown
7:44there are everyday banters,
7:45disagreements, and
7:48quite reflective of a long conjugal life
7:51that they have led together.
7:54When
7:55she dies, Hari's grief is complex.
8:00And he gets very irritated, defensive,
8:04and obsessive towards how the ritual,
8:07the death ritual, will take place.
8:10So, her
8:11their kids have also come to perform the
8:14death rituals, but he's very particular.
8:16The children's response become pivotal,
8:19and impatience can intensify his
8:22isolation, while empathy and emotional
8:25presence can help him process grief
8:29in a more healthy way. So, while the
8:32idea of empathy and emotional presence
8:37is more
8:40required
8:42to address the grief, we find that he's
8:44highly impatient, and that may also be a
8:47result of isolation that has happened.
8:50The story reflects a wider contemporary
8:52reality. The reality is that when
8:55elderly parents are alone after spousal
8:59loss, loneliness can significantly
9:02worsen their mental and physical health,
9:04making sustained care and connection
9:07essential. So,
9:10that is why
9:11you might have also noticed how
9:14uh
9:15very elderly people who do not have
9:18anyone,
9:20and if you have a conversation with
9:23them, they are very nice to you. This
9:26also leads to
9:28a thought in which somebody is looking
9:30for
9:31some kind of companionship, because
9:33there is nobody, or there are very less
9:35people to talk about. So,
9:38in the past, a very eventful life, but
9:41now what is
9:43shown or what is the person experiencing
9:46is the idea of loneliness because there
9:49is nobody to share the life with.
9:51Somebody who had anchored the life is
9:54now missing. So,
9:56that is what is reflected in
9:58uh Goodbye.
10:00You find uh
10:01the theoretical
10:03idea around spousal bereavement in late
10:06life
10:07This is you know, this is such a common
10:09phenomena that we do not address
10:13the issue in the way
10:16we
10:17can theorize it. I was talking about in
10:20the last lecture about how cinema
10:22addresses those gaps which we have taken
10:25for granted in society. In the in our
10:29everyday hustle bustle of living, we
10:31forget to take notice of smaller details
10:34that are important. In this case,
10:37spousal bereavement is something which
10:38is important. So, you find that when the
10:41spousal
10:42uh loss happens and there is loss of
10:45companionship and routine.
10:48So, two people together build a certain
10:51kind of routine, uh a certain kind of
10:53structure, but in the absence of that
10:55person, the daily structure collapses
10:59leading to loneliness, sleep appetite
11:01disturbance, and and emotional
11:03instability. So, you find that
11:06the absence of a person is not just the
11:08absence of a person, it's the absence of
11:11a structure that was holding you in some
11:15way.
11:17Also, the identity rupture
11:19from suddenly a couple, we you become I.
11:23And the shared identity gets dissolved
11:27and that makes you purposeless,
11:30irrelevant, and combat with the daily
11:35loneliness that you will feel.
11:38The vulnerability, the masked
11:40vulnerability is another
11:43feature of spousal bereavement in later
11:46life where
11:48the grief may appear into different
11:51other forms of
11:53emotions.
11:55Irritability, rigidity, or
11:57control-seeking rather than sadness. So,
12:01especially people who were very agentic
12:04earlier find it very difficult to
12:07succumb to the idea that they are lonely
12:10and they are grieving. And that's why
12:13you will find that they are very
12:15irritable,
12:17rigid, and they try to control
12:19everything.
12:20There is also social withdrawal that one
12:23has seen. So,
12:25the unprocessed grief can reduce social
12:28interaction and support system. And
12:31finally, they are at the risk of having
12:34mental health issues. So, there can be
12:37increased likelihood of depression,
12:40anxiety, cognitive strain, physical
12:43health decline, which is all because of
12:46the widowhood effect.
12:49In Maine Gandhi could not be married,
12:51you meet Uttam Chaudhary. He's a widower
12:54in a fragile mental state
12:57with memories of his late wife
12:59suggesting how unresolved attachment
13:02deepens cognitive vulnerability. So, he
13:05thinks of his wife and many
13:09episodes reflect his psychological
13:13breakdown where the absence of a
13:17stabilizing partner amplifies paranoia
13:21and confusion.
13:23So, while the partner was there,
13:25probably it didn't look like
13:29a very
13:31robust system. But, her absence has
13:34definitely made
13:35Choudhary realize that there is a miss.
13:39The support system has gone.
13:41The daughter takes the role of a primary
13:43caregiver, but
13:45nothing can fill the vacuum left by the
13:48spouse, showing how emotional anchoring
13:52shifts, but remains incomplete. So,
13:56in spousal relationships, the
13:58intertwining happens in such a way that
14:01no other relationships can fulfill. And
14:04therefore, despite the daughter being
14:06there in the film for Uttam Choudhary,
14:09he still is at a loss of how he anchors
14:14his complete emotional self on his
14:16daughter. And therefore, the film links
14:19grief with aging-related mental decline,
14:23portraying how bereavement can
14:25accelerate feelings of guilt, fear, and
14:29loss of reality in later life. So,
14:32you think that oh, if your partner was
14:34there, you could have done this. This I
14:36did not do. So, there is There are many
14:38episodes of guilt as well that you can
14:41find. And that is what is reflected in
14:42Maine Gandhi Ko Nahin Mara.
14:45In Goodbye, uh the camera repeatedly
14:48frames the widowed husband, Harish,
14:51alone within one's shared domestic
14:54spaces, visually emphasizing emotional
14:57emptiness after the wife's absence. Now,
15:00in this film, uh
15:02it's important to note that the
15:05loss of the spouse
15:07was not
15:10something Harish was prepared for.
15:13It was sudden.
15:14And therefore, there are many traces of
15:18the spouse gone even now. And the
15:22filming, how it has done, each frame is
15:25created in such a way
15:27where we find
15:29the remnants of the person gone.
15:32His sharp exchanges with his children
15:34during funeral preparations dramatized
15:37in older men is displaced into control
15:40over ritual and household authority.
15:42Now,
15:44you might have I mean, I just discussed
15:46it also about how the displaced grief
15:50converts into anger, rigidity. So, that
15:53also happens here with Harish. There are
15:56flashbacks and memories that interrupt
15:58the present narrative. Like, he wants to
16:00go and tell this to wife. He wants to
16:02ask to his wife something like that. And
16:06this shows how he recollects both
16:09comfort and psychological burden now.
16:13The household soundscapes silences
16:17replacing everyday conversation
16:19cinematically conveys isolation hinting
16:23at the mental strain that follows
16:25prolonged solitude. Which means that the
16:28realization that now he is alone, there
16:30is nobody,
16:32that is conveyed also through the
16:34silence of the house he is living in.
16:38Like I said, in both the films you will
16:40find that
16:42instead of vulnerability, the situation
16:44is that of vulnerability, but it get
16:47masked
16:49through the anger and rigidity that is
16:51explained. Now, this
16:55you find four kinds of
16:59features in which it is reflected. It is
17:03irritability, excessive insistence on
17:05control, obsessions with rituals or
17:09details, and emotional withdrawal.
17:12If in Maine Gandhi Ko Nahi Mara, Uttam
17:15Choudhry becomes defensive, agitated,
17:17and obsessively focused on proving his
17:20innocence in the imagined accusations of
17:23killing Gandhi.
17:24So, like I said, he has an encounter
17:27with Gandhi in a childhood, and that has
17:28come back as part of his Alzheimer and
17:31dealing with loneliness.
17:33In Goodbye, you find Harish's rigid
17:37insistence on following the funeral
17:40rights
17:41because that is not just about
17:42conservatism, but an attempt to reclaim
17:46control in a moment of overwhelming
17:49helplessness. So, he's so helpless that
17:52he wants to
17:54control his life all the more because
17:57the loss of partner is not something
18:00he's ready to accept right now. So, he
18:03in in this situation, which looks like
18:05it's going out of control for him, he's
18:07vulnerable, but still he's holding him
18:10together and trying to overcompensate
18:13through control.
18:16So, what looks like a journey, which is
18:18now going to be alone, we find that the
18:23support system shrinks
18:25because unlike younger widowed
18:28individuals, older
18:30widows often face friends who are
18:34themselves aging or diseased. So, either
18:37they have died or they are themselves
18:40aged. The mobility is reduced. So, you
18:43cannot really, you know, just like when
18:46you are young, you meet for coffee, you
18:48go for cinema,
18:49you can meet for a book discussion, but
18:52old age has its own problems with
18:54mobility, and sometimes it's a very,
18:57very limited mobility one is into. So,
18:59that
19:00leads to shrinking support system.
19:03Dependence usually is on children who
19:05are living elsewhere.
19:07So,
19:09that also creates a sort of loneliness
19:15in which your own family members are not
19:17there.
19:20And digital exclusion from
19:22modern communication frameworks which
19:25it's only a method in which they are
19:30coping with but not completely tuned to.
19:34So, those characteristics
19:37definitely mark for a shrinking support
19:40system. So,
19:42emotional expression is
19:45misunderstood as stubbornness
19:47and family members withdraw
19:49unintentionally depending the elders
19:52loneliness. This cycle can lead to
19:54chronic illness, social anxiety, major
19:57depression,
19:58and also suicidal ideation in many
20:01cases. So, you find these features also
20:05being reflected as part of spousal
20:07bereavement and loneliness that has
20:09crept into aging and there is rarely any
20:14compensation that can happen. So, when
20:17you look at Maine Gandhi Ko Nahi Mara
20:19and the cinematic instances of shrinking
20:22support system, you find that the
20:24daughter is trying very hard and
20:27still the father cannot hold on to
20:31completely give her being the anchor.
20:35So, there are moments when he repeats
20:37his narrative but receives impatience
20:39instead of reassurance, visually
20:42portraying communication breakdown,
20:45reinforcing emotional seclusion within
20:48the family that surrounds him.
20:50So, the domestic setting also
20:53which was once very familiar to him
20:55becomes tense, surveilled, suggesting
20:58how home itself no longer functions as a
21:02secure emotional
21:03refuge.
21:05And
21:06because he's suffering from Alzheimer's,
21:08the
21:10family members also get frustrated. And
21:13this growing frustration with his
21:16repeated assertion that I have not
21:18killed Gandhi, which is only happening
21:20in his imagination, creates emotional
21:23distancing illustrating how
21:25misunderstanding
21:27mental vulnerability can further
21:29intensify loneliness and psychological
21:31decline.
21:34In Goodbye, you find that the children
21:36have arrived from different cities to
21:38perform the funeral rites of the mother,
21:40but
21:42they have come only after mother's
21:44death. Visually establishes a
21:47geographical dispersion underlining how
21:50couple who are elderly had been living
21:53largely by themselves. So, the mother
21:56had died and only then children come.
21:58So,
22:00you find that in your moments of crisis
22:03like this, the family is there, but
22:06probably not as promptly there as you
22:10would have required. The film when it
22:12begins, the struggle of a father to
22:15communicate this information
22:18to the daughter is
22:20very troubling. If you see the film, you
22:22will find that that whole scene is very
22:24troubling where
22:26it also highlights the generational
22:28distance, but it also speaks volumes
22:30about the helplessness of Harish.
22:34After the rituals, the children began
22:36planning their departures and the camera
22:37lingers on the father in transitional
22:40spaces, doorways, verandas, signaling
22:43the return to solitude once temporary
22:46support dissolves. So, this whole family
22:50which is creating a kind of a support
22:51system, they will go. And that is how he
22:54starts responding in stubbornness and
22:57his conversations with family become
23:00strained and distanced, deepening his
23:02sense of isolation. That idea that he
23:04will be lonely
23:06leads him uh to
23:09become angry and rigid.
23:13Uh you find that family is the anchor in
23:17late-life crisis, but
23:19still
23:21they are not there most of the times.
23:23Just like in film Goodbye, the children
23:26come after
23:28uh the mother has died. You find that
23:31older adults prioritize smaller
23:34groups, but very meaningful
23:36relationships. And therefore, when
23:38family members offer reassurance instead
23:41of dismissal, it directly stabilizes
23:44anxiety, grief, and
23:47cognitive distress.
23:49The close family bonds become central,
23:52and the physical presence of the
23:54children and loved ones helps them to
23:57combat the loneliness that has come
24:00because of aging one and spousal
24:04loss, too.
24:06The families respond with patience, but
24:09sometimes
24:11it also happens that
24:13there is a fatigue, there is some other
24:15occupation, and that may lead to erratic
24:18behavior
24:20of the elderly or
24:22agitation.
24:24And by revisiting these shared memories
24:27and affirming past roles, family members
24:30reconstruct
24:32identity supporting the older
24:34individual's need for a dignified life.
24:36Hence,
24:37uh
24:38we see that the well-being of an old-age
24:42person depends on deeply relational
24:45networks, an important component that we
24:48must highlight.
24:49Collective caregiving, not the
24:51caregiving of just one person,
24:54because it not only protects the elderly
24:56person from decline, but also prevent
24:59burnout from
25:00the caregiver fatigue. So, I will
25:03discuss this
25:05caregiver fatigue later
25:08in one of my slides
25:10in week seven, I think.
25:13Till then,
25:14thank you so much.