Cómo recuperar la calma cuando tu mente no para | Mario Alonso Puig

0:00Most things from the past are resolved

0:02in the present . So , I want you to draw

0:05for us that mental noise . If it had a

0:10shape , what would

0:11that mental noise be like ? It's just

0:13like the example you just gave . I'm

0:16talking to someone and I'm not present .

0:18Very well .

0:19I am absent .

0:20Very well .

0:21And what I do , I have made an effort in

0:23recent years because it has happened to

0:25me a lot with my wife , where you even

0:28end up having problems and conflicts .

0:30Because why ? Because you're not paying

0:32attention to the conversation , and then

0:34, truly , you feel terrible afterwards .

0:36So I make every possible effort to be

0:38present . Even so , it's hard for me ,

0:41it's hard , and of course , yes ,

0:44no , go on ,

0:45yes , plus I have generated a lot of

0:47fear , right ? that all this coming from

0:49childhood has made me generate a lot of

0:51fear , which is why I have been very

0:53defensive for part of my life . I have

0:56generated a powerful defensive alert or

0:58alarm system . Of course , over the years

1:01and with practice , I have improved it .

1:04Also , I did therapy , I had to do

1:06therapy for 12 years because , well ,

1:08because the problem was strong and

1:10overwhelming , right ? And well , I came

1:14out of therapy stronger , but even so , I

1:16don't know , because it's from childhood

1:19, I still trigger fear in many

1:21situations .

1:23How , how do you see that mental noise ?

1:26I mean , imagine that the mental noise

1:27had a shape , okay ? The mental noise ,

1:31when you presented the poster on June

1:348th at the Rafael del Pino Foundation

1:37and I saw the poster with the outline

1:39of the brain and what was inside , I

1:42said , that , that , that tangle , that

1:45tangle is what is in my head and it

1:47won't let me live . Let's see ,

1:55everything in life is a relationship ;

1:57that is to say , let's imagine a wooden

2:00board , and I establish a relationship

2:02with that wooden board by saying : " A

2:05wooden board is a type of relationship .

2:08" But if I see that the wooden board

2:11has some curious drawings , I say : " It's

2:13a chessboard , " I establish a different

2:15relationship . It's no longer just an

2:18object , it's a playing field , okay ?

2:21Everything is a relationship . We relate

2:23to one another , to things , to the

2:24universe , to transcendence , to

2:26everything . So , the relationship

2:27determines everything . Your

2:29relationship with the mental noise ,

2:32that is what is hurting you the most ,

2:34not the mental noise itself . The doctor

2:37Jung said it very well : " What you

2:39resist , persists ; what you embrace ,

2:41transforms . " So there comes a moment

2:44where you are living with that mental

2:47noise , Saba , as something that frankly

2:49isn't letting you live fully . It sneaks

2:51into your relationships ; it is not

2:53something you recognize as your true

2:55essence . Then you attribute it as a

2:58past burden that projects into your

3:00present , into your future . So , one

3:02thing that is fundamental is that you

3:04radically change your relationship with

3:06that mental noise . That mental noise

3:09can no longer find in you the rejection

3:12it usually finds . You can no longer

3:16make it guilty for the things that

3:18aren't working in your life , even if

3:20others are working well . Because even

3:24if it seems logical intellectually ,

3:26what you resist persists , so you have

3:28to embrace it . When you feel that

3:32mental noise , when you see that it's

3:34gone , that it has taken you , instead of

3:36saying " again , " what do you say when

3:39that happens ?

3:40Again . Yes ,

3:41it's here , it's already here ,

3:42it's already here . It's already here ,

3:44it's already here . This annoying thing

3:46is here again ruining my life . More or

3:48less like that .

3:49More or less like that . Even , even how

3:50bad you end up feeling when you realize

3:53it .

3:53Very good . Perfect .

3:55When you realize it , because as you say

3:58, you are here , but your head is

4:01that's it

4:02over there .

4:03Your head is over there . Of course , you

4:05are listening , but you are not fully

4:08attentive . When you realize it is when

4:10you feel bad . Why ?

4:11Very good . What is the name you like

4:14the most ? A name , a first name . The one

4:17you like the most .

4:18First name . Yes , a first name . Mario ,

4:21Andrés , Alberto , Casilda , whichever

4:23you want .

4:24Or a woman's name ,

4:25whichever you want .

4:26Valeria .

4:27Valeria . Good . When Valeria arrives ,

4:29it's not your wife's name , that doesn't

4:31count . When it arrives .

4:32No , no ,

4:33that's not right . No , it's just that

4:34it's not that I like that name , it's

4:36just that I don't want there to be

4:37confusion in the brain .

4:40When the mental noise arrives , instead

4:42of Valeria , you're here . Welcome ,

4:50welcome . Yes , yes , welcome . I had a

4:59person — I do this very few times — but

5:01they came to see me because they had a

5:03case of nocturnal asthma . They would

5:07get horrible asthma right when they

5:08were going to sleep , which made them

5:09terrified of falling asleep ; they

5:11wouldn't sleep , and the next day they

5:12were exhausted . They had gone to

5:14allergists , they had gone to

5:15pulmonologists , they did very well to

5:16go . They had prescribed things , but

5:18nothing worked for them at all . They

5:20told me about it and I said , " You , what

5:22do you feel when your asthma flares up ,

5:24which is , which is , which is very

5:25unpleasant ? " They said , " I hate it . " I

5:29say , " Well , you're going to say when

5:31you feel it , welcome , dear asthma . "

5:34They looked at me and said , " You're

5:36crazy , " I said , " I'm crazy , but what if

5:39it worked , you're going to treat it

5:41like it's a guest , as the great Rumi

5:43told us in the 11th century . A guest ,

5:47you welcome them . But Mario , I , I'm

5:50going to die . I say , you're just going

5:53to welcome it , constantly welcome it .

5:56Do you know how long the asthma lasted ?

5:57One day . They never had asthma again .

6:02They never had asthma again . It is the

6:04rejection itself . The noise will fade

6:08when you stop reinforcing it . What

6:11reinforces it , what strengthens it is

6:13your rejection . That's why a nice name ,

6:16you're going to call it Valeria , which

6:18already gives it a point of more

6:20closeness , more warmth . Well , Valeria ,

6:24you're here again . Welcome , welcome .

6:27And you continue with your business and

6:28it returns and no

6:30no no . Valeria , again . Welcome . Welcome

6:33, let's see what happens . Remember , the

6:37great Jung said it , what you resist

6:39persists , what you embrace transforms .

6:43Heh .