Full transcript
0:00Police cars are the biggest scam that
0:01Rockstar has ever pulled on the GTA
0:03online community, or at least that's
0:05what a lot of players think because they
0:07tend to cost anywhere from three to four
0:09times as much as their regular base
0:11variant of the vehicle while providing
0:12little more than some custom liveries
0:14and a police siren. So, in today's
0:16video, I'm going to put this theory to
0:17the test by ranking every single cop car
0:19to find out if they suck as much as
0:21people claim they do. Spoiler alert,
0:23most of them actually do indeed suck and
0:25aren't worth buying, but there are some
0:27pretty good ones as you'll find out
0:28later in this video. a bonus here, not
0:30only am I ranking every single cop car,
0:33but literally every police vehicle in
0:35the game including the boat and even the
0:36police bike that was released with the
0:38money fronts DLC. And so, to start
0:40things off in the bottom tier, we've got
0:41the absolute piece of crap that is the
0:43Predator police boat. This is basically
0:45Rockstar's middle finger to anyone who's
0:46made 20 bajillion dollars from spamming
0:48Cayo over the last several years because
0:50it's a floating paperweight with a zero
0:52armor or useful features. Plus, it's a
0:54boat and we all know that they suck. I
0:55mean, at least the Kurtz patrol boat has
0:57some weapons. This one doesn't even have
0:58that. So, it's about as useful against
1:00criminals as a wet blanket is against a
1:02forest fire. Now, I'd stay away from the
1:04Predator if you value your sanity. Next,
1:06we've got the RCV or the Riot Control
1:08Vehicle, which can be yours for the
1:09meager price of just 3.1 million
1:11dollars. Hooray. And if you play the
1:13Doomsday Heist, which nobody really does
1:15because most folks don't even own a
1:16facility, you can unlock the 2.35
1:18million dollar trade price. Wonderful,
1:20right? Not really. This thing is just as
1:22awful as the police boat, but because
1:23it's a land vehicle with wheels and it's
1:25really big and looks really
1:26intimidating, I'm going to give it a
1:27slightly higher spot on my tier list. By
1:30the way, despite how this thing looks,
1:31it's actually not armored at all because
1:33a single RPG will send it to the scrap
1:35heap. Moving on, we have the Declasse
1:37Park Ranger. And this isn't a complete
1:39[ __ ] show like the previous two vehicles
1:41because it's actually a pretty decent
1:42off-roader and it can get up to 102
1:44miles an hour. So, it's not a total pig
1:46like the RCV, but my issue with this SUV
1:48in particular is that it has basically
1:50zero customization. You can't put any
1:52fancy lights on it, you can't swap
1:53deliveries, and at 2.1 million dollars,
1:55it's also decently expensive. So, yeah,
1:57straight into the trash can it goes.
1:59But, at least the park ranger won't feel
2:00lonely while it rots in the can because
2:02I've got the perfect vehicle to keep it
2:04company, the prison bus. That's right,
2:05folks. You can actually buy and drive a
2:07prison bus in GTA Online. Bet a lot of
2:09you guys didn't know this, and neither
2:10did Rockstar because they forgot to make
2:12it so you no longer get a wanted level a
2:14bowling ball while entering the compound
2:15with this bus. One spot up from the
2:17prison bus, we've got the mobile jail
2:19cell, aka the bail office transporter.
2:21This is a slightly faster version of the
2:23normal burrito, and you get it for free
2:25while buying a bail office. So, that's
2:26the biggest thing it has going in its
2:28favor. My biggest gripe with this van,
2:29however, isn't really its lack of armor
2:31or the middling performance. It's just
2:32the fact that Rockstar essentially
2:34chained you to it every time you want to
2:35do a bail mission. Then, there's the
2:37police Maverick. And at 144 mph, this is
2:40the fastest cop vehicle on my list. But,
2:42you also can't buy one, which means the
2:44only way to get a hold of this
2:45helicopter is by stealing one from the
2:46rooftop of a police station in the city
2:48or piloting it during specific missions
2:51like the Union Depository, for example,
2:52where you use the Maverick scanner to
2:54blackmail a bank manager and force him
2:56to give up the vault code. So, Rockstar,
2:58if you're watching, please let us buy
2:59this heli. People have been asking for
3:01it for ages. The regular police
3:02Interceptor also kind of makes it into
3:04the trash category here, but it's the
3:05highest level of trash because this one
3:07has the excuse of being a default NPC
3:10spawn, much like the police Maverick.
3:11So, we don't really mind that it's slow
3:13and doesn't have bulletproof tires or
3:15armor. It's the default cop car that you
3:16see at any wanted level. It's used by
3:18the LSPD, and you get a free pump
3:20shotgun every time you sit in one of
3:21these. So, if you want to drive a police
3:23Interceptor, just cause a scene, wait
3:25for the police to arrive, and steal one
3:26from them. You can't buy it, nor can you
3:28store it in your garage, but if you
3:29absolutely want to drive a mediocre
3:31police car without paying anything for
3:32the privilege, the police Interceptor is
3:34the way to go. All right, now we've made
3:35it into the mid-tier, and this is where
3:37we talk mostly about cop cars rather
3:39than weird novelty items that nobody's
3:41really going to use. So, first we've got
3:42the Impaler LX Cruiser, and this one has
3:44a special place in my heart because it's
3:46based on the Impala, and that thing used
3:48to be a staple of American law
3:49enforcement for decades, starting in the
3:511970s. Eventually, it was replaced by
3:53the Crown Vic, and the Vic would later
3:55lose its spot to the Taurus and the
3:57Explorer, but before all these, we had
3:58the Impala, and you'd often see several
4:00of these in classic cop movies from the
4:02'80s. One of them even made an
4:03appearance in Die Hard, and I love the
4:05way it looks, but if you ask me to pay
4:06$4.8 million for something that's barely
4:09any faster than the base Impaler, I
4:11don't know. It's a tough deal at that
4:12price, which is why I think it deserves
4:14a mid-tier placement for this video.
4:15Plus, the performance isn't really all
4:17that exciting, either, which kind of
4:18matches the IRL 1980s 9C1 package for
4:21the Chevy Impala that this car is based
4:23on, so I guess Rockstar did do a good
4:24job of conveying how an old sports sedan
4:26from that era would fare in today's
4:28world. Then, one step up from the LX
4:30Cruiser, we've got the Bravado Greenwood
4:32Cruiser, and I probably should have
4:33ranked this one a lot lower, but I
4:34really, really like the way this one
4:36looks. And technically, it is a tiny bit
4:38faster than the Impaler LX Cruiser, too,
4:40at least if we go by top speed, because
4:42the Impaler LX feels slightly more
4:43nimble and lighter on its feet, and it
4:45accelerates better than the Greenwood
4:46Cruiser overall. However, the Greenwood
4:48Cruiser is a fair bit cheaper at the
4:50$3.9 million versus the Impaler's $4.8
4:52million price tag, and that makes it a
4:54better choice, in my opinion, if you
4:55want a classic American sedan from the
4:56'70s. This particular model is based on
4:59the fourth-generation Dodge Monaco, and
5:01its police version was featured in the
5:02Dukes of Hazzard TV series, so that
5:04gives it some extra cool factor, as
5:06well, if you care about that old TV
5:07stuff. However, my biggest gripe with
5:09the Greenwood Cruiser, and the main
5:10reason I wanted to rank this car so much
5:12lower, is the fact that you can get a
5:13better version of this exact car for
5:15cheaper, and that's the regular
5:16Greenwood for just $1,465,000.
5:20The top speed on the civilian Greenwood
5:21is slightly slower at 117 mph, but it
5:24handles better. And more importantly, it
5:26supports Imani Tech, both the missile
5:27lock-on jammer and the heavy armor
5:29plating, so you can actually take it
5:30into a public lobby and do your missions
5:32without getting destroyed in the first 5
5:33seconds. So, if you're interested in the
5:35Greenwood, you like how it looks, get
5:37the Imani Tech version first. Do not
5:39waste all your hard-earned cash on the
5:40police car, unless you're absolutely
5:41swimming in money. Moving on in the
5:43mid-tier, we've got the unmarked cruiser
5:44from Vapid, and one look at this thing
5:46tells you it's a Crown Vic. There's no
5:48mistaking that silhouette, and the fact
5:49that it's unmarked makes it perfect for
5:51undercover agent role-playing. Like,
5:53this is the kind of car you take to bust
5:54a drug deal hiding in the corner of some
5:56parking lot, only to turn on the sirens
5:58at the last second and bust the bad guys
5:59making the deal. And while it doesn't
6:01have any armor, it does support a
6:02missile lock-on jammer, and it has the
6:04Crown Vic legacy behind its name. I
6:06still don't necessarily recommend buying
6:07one because you get zero customization,
6:09and it tops out at just 111 mph. For
6:12$3.9 million, that is a lot of
6:14compromises you're making. And I think
6:15any of the newer police car models would
6:17be much better unless you really want a
6:18Crown Vic, or you just want one of the
6:20cheaper entry points for a police
6:22vehicle. And if price is a concern, in
6:24which case, why not get the regular
6:25Stanier LE Cruiser? The base price is
6:27more expensive and nearly $4.7 million,
6:30but you can unlock the $3.5 million
6:32trade price by doing the Gangbanger
6:33Robbery from your salvage yard. And it
6:35has the full range of police
6:36customization options, everything from
6:38livery to tech arrays, searchlights,
6:40push bars, etc. And I think the added
6:42customization here, along with the
6:43improved performance, make this a much
6:45better option than the unmarked Cruiser
6:46overall. And then for the last car in
6:48the mid-tier, we've got the Willard
6:49Outreach Faction. And this is the exact
6:51sort of car that cops would use to raise
6:53community awareness and inspire young
6:55kids. What makes the Outreach Faction
6:56stand out from its peers is the fact
6:58that it's secretly a lowrider, and the
7:00only cop car in the game with
7:01hydraulics. This was done in an effort
7:03to connect with communities and grab
7:05people's attention, which it succeeds at
7:07better than any cop car in the game.
7:08This is the kind of car that you take to
7:09schools and hospitals or public events.
7:12It's more of a show car than a
7:13crime-fighting car, but it will still
7:14cost $4.1 million, which you can bump
7:17down to $3.1 million by doing one of the
7:19lowrider missions. And now we're finally
7:21in the good tier, and these are all the
7:22vehicles that I recommend purchasing if
7:24you're interested in police work and you
7:25want something that stands out from the
7:27rest of the crowd. And nothing is a
7:28better example of that than the Canis
7:30Terminus Patrol. It's a police Jeep,
7:32which you don't see very often, as the
7:33Jeep isn't really considered a
7:34traditional cop vehicle, and its design
7:36is inspired by the real-life Wrangler
7:38Rubicon used by the Hermosa Beach Police
7:40Department in California. Plus, it's the
7:42only cop car in the game with heavy
7:44armor plating. The rest just have a
7:45missile lock-on jammer, which means
7:46they'll blow up to a single sticky bomb
7:48or rogue homing missile strike, but not
7:49the Canis Terminus Patrol. This can tank
7:51up to 12 homing missiles or four RPGs,
7:54same as any standard Imani Tech car. And
7:56the good news keeps on coming because
7:57this Jeep has some really unique
7:59customization options for the
8:00windshield, the doors, and the bodywork
8:02that you won't get on any other police
8:03car. So, if you have cash for one cop
8:05car, this is probably the one you should
8:07buy. It'll allow you to do Vincent's
8:08dispatch work, and it will keep you
8:10protected in public lobbies full of
8:11griefers when you needed to. This is
8:13honestly a true all-rounder, and with a
8:15top speed of close to 120 mph, it's also
8:18one of the fastest SUVs in the game with
8:20exceptional handling to match the speed.
8:21Next is the police bike, and this one
8:23automatically makes it into the good
8:24tier for being the only purchasable
8:26vehicle of its kind in the entire game.
8:28Like, this is the only police bike you
8:30can buy in GTA Online. There are no
8:32others like it. And once you wear that
8:33SAHP Patrol outfit and drive this thing
8:35along in Blaine County, you'll start
8:36feeling like a real SAHP Trooper. The
8:39asking price of nearly $5 million is
8:41pretty steep, I will admit that, but
8:42that's how it is with kind of any police
8:44vehicle worth buying. They're all going
8:45to be insanely expensive. However, if
8:48you buy another police vehicle first and
8:50do three dispatch missions with that
8:51one, you can bring the police bike's
8:52price down to a much more affordable 3.7
8:55million dollars. So, I guess that is
8:56something to look forward to there.
8:58Plus, it supports a missile jammer, and
8:59it has a very impressive top speed of
9:01over 156 mph, which actually is on par
9:04with an HSW Hakuchou Drag. However, the
9:07police bike's handling and braking
9:08aren't in the same realm of existence as
9:10a Drag, so it'll only match it in a
9:12straight line. And of course, once you
9:13actually give it enough time to shift up
9:15to fourth gear and hit that top speed.
9:17For the last vehicle in the good tier,
9:18we've got the Declasse Granger which is
9:20based on a first gen Dodge Durango. And
9:22as a result of that, it's one of the
9:23coolest SUVs in the game, at least from
9:25a look standpoint that is, because the
9:27Canis Terminus Patrol is better than the
9:29Granger in every single observable
9:31metric from performance to protection.
9:33But nonetheless, that first gen Dodge
9:34Durango, I love that body style as a
9:36kid. We're in the god tier now, ladies
9:38and gentlemen, and these police cars are
9:39the absolute cream of the crop, the best
9:42of the best. First is the Caracara
9:43Pursuit, which is one of my daily
9:45drivers that I use for grinding because
9:46it's just so cool-looking and pretty
9:48fast for a truck. The very concept of a
9:504x4 police F-150 is immediately
9:52appealing to me given my fascination
9:54with trucks, but the way Rockstar
9:56executed on the Caracara 4x4 makes it a
9:58must-buy for me because it resembles a
10:00real F-150 very closely without seeming
10:03like a total cheap rip-off. those flared
10:05arches and hood vents that look super
10:06menacing and they give it this sporty
10:08and aggressive vibe. And then you have
10:09the front end with the recessed
10:11headlamps and that massive grill. I
10:12don't really know, I just think it looks
10:14absolutely awesome and it also has a ton
10:16of customization options, some of which
10:18are pretty bespoke and exclusive to the
10:19Caracara. So, if you want a police truck
10:21that looks awesome as well as goes
10:23decently fast, you should definitely buy
10:24a Caracara Pursuit. The Vapid Dominator
10:26FX Interceptor is another great choice
10:28for folks who only have the money for
10:30one cop car. It's the second best
10:31Dominator model in the entire game if we
10:33go by lap time, and it's bested only by
10:35the Dominator GT. And I also think it's
10:37one of the most unique car designs in
10:38the game as well. Once you add that
10:40missile jammer, this turns into a pretty
10:41viable daily driver for things like
10:43security contracts and payphone hits.
10:45You know, jobs that don't really require
10:46much armor, but you still benefit by
10:48having a decently fast car. The Gauntlet
10:50Interceptor is one of my top three
10:51recommendations for must-buy cop cars
10:54because you unlock the $4 million trade
10:56price for this just by completing the
10:57Cluckin' Bell Farm Raid once, and it's
10:59easily one of the most fun cars to drive
11:01in the entire game. You can pull
11:02wheelies, do elevens, donuts, drift
11:05around corners, and just overall have a
11:06great time in this Dodge
11:07Hellcat-inspired monster. That
11:09supercharged V8 up front generates a lot
11:11of torque, and it will propel you all
11:13the way up to 122 mph, which is almost
11:15on OG supercar levels. If you want a
11:17true police supercar though, there's
11:19only one choice, the 133 mph Coquette
11:22D10 Pursuit for an eye-watering $5.6
11:25million. It's almost as expensive as a
11:27Deluxo minus the flying powers and the
11:29missiles, but hey, at least you can tell
11:30everyone that you drive a police version
11:32of the C8 Corvette. For my last two
11:34cars, we've got the Buffalo S Cruiser
11:35and the STX Pursuit, both of which were
11:37just released a few months ago as part
11:39of the Mansions DLC drip feed. The
11:41Buffalo S Cruiser is just a regular
11:42Buffalo S, same one that Franklin drives
11:44in story mode, but with a $4.4 million
11:46price tag and a paint job. The STX
11:49Pursuit is what happens when you take a
11:50regular Buffalo STX, remove the Imani
11:52Tech armor, and increase its price by
11:54two and a half times. Like sure, it's 2
11:56mph faster in a straight line and the
11:58handling is just a tiny bit better, but
12:00at that price point, you could just buy
12:01yourself a regular STX and an agency
12:04with the Imani Tech workshop, which
12:05gives you an excellent car plus one of
12:07the best businesses in the game. My
12:08recommendation, buy the STX Pursuit only
12:11if you're loaded on cash and you want to
12:12experience this car before GTA 6 drops.
12:15But that's all I have for this ranking
12:16video. Let me know if you'd have ranked
12:17any of these vehicles differently and
12:19let me know in the comments which police
12:20cars you own if you own any of them to
12:22begin with. Thank you so much for
12:23watching. Don't forget to drop a like on
12:24this video if you found it entertaining
12:26and informative. Subscribe to the
12:27channel if you are new and you want to
12:28see more GTA 5 online content just like
12:30this. Check me out over on Twitch,
12:31Twitter, and Instagram, specifically
12:32twitch.tv/hazardoushdtv.
12:35And I'll see you guys in the next GTA
12:36online video. Adios, amigos.