Full transcript
0:00“I must be myself, I cannot break myself any longer for you. . .If you can love me
0:22for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that
0:27you should.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
0:29The great 19th century American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson believed that to flourish
0:34we must be a non-conformist. If we just think as others think and do as others do, we limit
0:41our potential and place our health or sickness at the mercy of social forces beyond our control.
0:46In this video we are going to explore the dangers of conformity, what non-conformity
0:52meant for Emerson, and how the non-conformist acts as a force of good in a society gone
0:58mad.
0:59“Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
1:05To be a conformist is to orient our life around the dominant norms, values, and ideals of
1:10our society. It is to allow the boundaries and templates of our culture to shape our
1:15sense of self. Most of us become conformists without reflecting on what we are doing – we
1:21see everyone around us conforming and so it feels natural to do the same. But conformity
1:27comes at a price, or as Emerson stated in a lecture given in 1844:
1:32“I pay a destructive tax in my conformity.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Lecture Read Before
1:36the Society in Amory Hall, March 1844
1:37In any society only certain character traits are favoured by the trends of conformity,
1:41while many others – which may be healthy in their own right – are looked upon with
1:45indifference or disdain. In our day, for example, extroversion is favoured over introversion,
1:52obedience over disobedience, and risk-aversion over risk-taking. Some people may find their
1:58inner nature fits the mould of conformity, but many will find the opposite. For those
2:04of us in the latter group, conformity is akin to wearing a mask made to fit the mould of
2:09another’s face. The mask of conformity never feels comfortable and at times it may cause
2:14us to feel like a fraud or imposter.
2:18Conformity also leads to waste – wasted time, wasted opportunities, and wasted resources.
2:25In the need to satisfy others and maintain appearances, we do things we do not value,
2:30say things we do not believe, and obtain things we do not need, or as Emerson writes:
2:37“Custom . . . gives me no power therefrom, and runs me in debt to boot. We spend our
2:42incomes . . . for a hundred trifles, I know not what, and not for the things of a man.
2:48Our expense is almost all for conformity.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Man the Reformer
2:52But the dangers of conformity reach pathological levels when, as in our day, a society becomes
2:58infected with lies. Politicians lie almost as frequently as they open their mouths. A
3:04degenerate education system teaches lies on topics ranging from science, to history, ethics,
3:10economics, and politics. The media lies about world events. While corporations lie to us
3:16about the value, or safety, of their products. With no shortage of lies percolating throughout
3:22society, the modern path of conformity leads in errant ways. It encourages us to go into
3:27debt to buy things we don’t need, to consume unhealthy foods, to be obedient to those in
3:33power, to take pharmaceutical drugs that do more harm than good, to eschew our passion
3:38in favour of money or social status, and if we ever feel anxious or depressed, the conformist
3:44way is to distract ourselves with screens, or to numb ourselves with psychotropic drugs.
3:49“All goes well as long as you run with conformists. But you, who are an honest man in other particulars,
3:58know that there is alive somewhere a man whose honesty reaches to this point also, that he
4:03shall not kneel to false gods, and, on the day when you meet him, you sink into the class
4:09of counterfeits. . . If you take in a lie, you must take in all that belongs to it.”
4:14Ralph Waldo Emerson, Religion
4:16To be a non-conformist, in the modern world, is to renounce the lies that shape our society
4:22and to renounce the self that has been shaped by these lies. This act of renunciation paves
4:27the way for self-transformation, or as Emerson writes: “The man who renounces himself,
4:33comes to himself.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson, Lecture to Divinity Students). When we abandon
4:36the habits of conformity and stop pursing its ideals, we clear the way for the emergence
4:41of a more authentic state of being. We take off the false mask of conformity and permit
4:46our individual personality to shine through. But our renunciation should not be limited
4:52to self-renunciation, we should also renounce affiliation with organizations and institutions
4:58that are infiltrated by the lies of our society. For a non-conformist, according to Emerson,
5:04must stand under his or her own banner, not the banner of another:
5:08“It is only as a man puts off all foreign support, and stands alone, that I see him
5:14to be strong and to prevail. He is weaker by every recruit to his banner.”
5:20Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
5:21Along with the act of renunciation, the non-conformist must establish a new direction in life as
5:27merely rejecting conformist ways, without replacing them with something new, will leave
5:32us in a pit of aimless and meaningless despair. We need new pursuits to keep us occupied,
5:38new habits to keep our life structured, and new goals to give us direction. In the process
5:44of re-orienting our life, we should work with what nature has granted us, as it is by cultivating
5:49our strengths and talents and aligning our life around pursuits we enjoy, that we unleash
5:54our power and pave the way for a great life, or as Emerson writes:
5:59“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction . . that
6:04though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him
6:09but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The
6:15power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he
6:20can do, nor does he know until he has tried.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
6:25If conformity has led us astray and we don’t know where truth lies or what the plot of
6:29ground we are meant to till consists of, spending time in solitude can help correct for this
6:36confusion. Away from the chatter and distraction of other minds, solitude can help us understand
6:41who we are and what we want from life. There are voices, wrote Emerson “which we hear
6:47in solitude, [that] grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world.” (Ralph Waldo
6:52Emerson, Self-Reliance). Emerson, however, while valuing solitude, did not believe the
6:56non-conformist should be a recluse. To flourish as a non-conformist is to strike the optimal
7:02balance between solitude and society. We must learn to live in harmony with others without
7:08an excessive need to gain their approval or to mimic their errant ways. Or as Emerson
7:13put it:
7:14“Solitude is impracticable, and society fatal. We must keep our head in the one and
7:21our hands in the other. The conditions are met, if we keep our independence, yet do not
7:26lose our sympathy.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Society and Solitude
7:29Many people recognize the sickness of modern society, but few choose a path of non-conformity
7:35as the means of escape. One reason for this is fear, and specifically a fear of ridicule
7:40and rejection. The non-conformist must overcome this fear, or at least learn that constructive,
7:47non-conformist action can be taken even when consumed by fear:
7:51“What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule. . .may
7:59serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. . .It is easy in the world to
8:04live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the
8:10great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence
8:15of solitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
8:18In learning to deal with ridicule and rejection it can be helpful to recognize a constructive
8:23value to this experience. Not only does it provide us with an opportunity to cultivate
8:28the courage of acting in the face of our fears, but furthermore, those who treat us with contempt
8:33sometimes reveal truths of our character that those who care for us are too timid to point
8:38out. But even if the ridicule is not constructive, even if it is based on envy or lies, we can
8:45use the disapproval of others as motivating fuel that impels us to greater heights, and
8:50as Emerson writes:
8:52“Dear to us are those who love us; the swift moments we spend with them are a compensation
8:58for a great deal of misery; they enlarge our life; but dearer are those who reject us as
9:05unworthy, for they add another life: they build a heaven before us whereof we had not
9:10dreamed, and thereby supply to us new powers out of the recesses of the spirit, and urge
9:15us to new and unattempted performances.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, New England Reformers
9:19If we learn to conquer the fear of ridicule and rejection, we will possess a crucial skill
9:24in the art of non-conformity. But there is another barrier that prevents many from going
9:29the way of a non-conformist and this is laziness. To cultivate our own path through life requires
9:35hard work, discipline, and a ruthless persistence of action. For Emerson’s non-conformist
9:41is not passive, he is an active agent striving to change the world. Once the non-conformist
9:48selects a valuable goal, he sticks to it and is not driven off course merely because a
9:53bunch conformists disapprove of his ways, or as Emerson writes:
9:57“All men have wandering impulses, fits and starts of generosity. But when you have chosen
10:04your part, abide by it, and do not weakly try to reconcile yourself with the world.”
10:09Ralph Waldo Emerson, Heroism
10:10Or as he writes elsewhere:
10:12“If you would serve your brother, because it is fit for you to serve him, do not take
10:17back your words when you find that prudent people do not commend you. Adhere to your
10:22own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant
10:27and broken the monotony of a decorous age. It was a high counsel that I once heard given
10:33to a young person – “Always do what you are afraid to do.”
10:36Ralph Waldo Emerson, Heroism
10:38Following a non-conformist path will make us healthier, happier, and more powerful,
10:43but it will also turn us into a force of good in the world. For the inner state of our being
10:49manifests the events of the outer world, or as Emerson put it: “A man will see his
10:54character emitted in the events that seem to meet [him], but which exude from and accompany
11:00him.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Conduct of Life) Conformists, in living by lies,
11:04are manifesting a sick society. The non-conformist, in aligning himself with the truth of his
11:10inner nature and the truth of the world, will manifest events that act as the antidote to
11:15a world gone mad.
11:16“In the thought of tomorrow there is a power to upheave . . .all the creeds. . .of the
11:22nations, and marshal thee to a heaven which no epic dream has yet depicted. Every man
11:28is not so much a workman in the world, as he is a suggestion of that he should be. Men
11:33walk as prophecies of the next age.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Circles