Full transcript
0:00What is the meaning of life?
0:02>> Uh if I gave you an answer, if I said
0:05the meaning of life is to please God,
0:07well which God? Okay, Judeo-Christian
0:08God. Well, okay, why that one? Why this
0:10thing? The problem is it's a why
0:12question. You can [music] keep asking
0:14why forever. And you end up in a place
0:16called Agrippa's Trilemma. And Agrippa's
0:18Trilemma says that any questioning like
0:21this, why, will always end in [music]
0:23one of three places. Okay? First is
0:26infinite regress.
0:27Right? Why? Because of this. Why that?
0:29Why that? It'll just keep going forever.
0:31The second is circular reasoning. Well,
0:33A. Why A? Because of B. Well, why B?
0:35Because of A.
0:36>> Mhm.
0:37>> Or the third is an axiom. And the most
0:40popular axiom is God. But it could be
0:42anything. Because of math, because
0:43[music] of science, because of the Big
0:44Bang, because of simulation, right?
0:45These are all axioms. These are all just
0:47stopping points. So, you end up in one
0:49of these three dead ends, essentially,
0:51right? [music] So,
0:53there is no answer.
0:55Uh the real answer is because.
0:56>> [laughter]
0:58>> If there was a single answer, we would
1:01not be free. We would be trapped.
1:03Because then we would all have to live
1:05to that answer. Then we'd be Borg-like
1:07robots, each one competing with each
1:08other to fulfill that single [music]
1:10meaning more than the others. Back to
1:12signaling, like I'm better at it than
1:13you are. But luckily, there is no
1:15answer. So, you just do whatever you
1:17want. The currency of life, right?
1:20People think it's money.
1:21>> [music]
1:21>> And yes, money's important, and it does
1:22let you trade certain things for time.
1:24But it doesn't really buy you time. Ask
1:25Warren Buffett how much time money can
1:27buy you or Michael Bloomberg. So,
1:30you can't trade money for time. Money is
1:32not the real currency of life.
1:35And
1:36time itself doesn't even mean that much
1:39because as we talked about before, a lot
1:41of time can be wasted because you're not
1:43really present for it. You're not paying
1:44attention. So, the real currency of life
1:46is attention. It's what [music] you
1:48choose to pay attention to. And and and
1:51what you do about it. You can put your
1:53attention on the news, [music] but
1:55that's how you're spending the real
1:57currency of life. So just be aware of
1:59that. If you want to, that's fine.
2:01There's no There's no right or wrong
2:03here. Like maybe it is your destiny to
2:05pick something [music] in the news,
2:06learn about that problem, adopt that
2:08problem, and solve it. But just be
2:10careful because your attention is the
2:12only thing that you have.
2:14>> And that can also be captured by your
2:15own past.
2:16>> My definition of wasted time, yes, I do
2:18want some material things in life and I
2:20you know, there there are things that
2:22have more value than others within this
2:23life. But this life is very short and
2:25bounded. So the true waste of time is
2:27the time that you are not present for,
2:29when you are not there for it, when you
2:31are not
2:32doing the thing you want to do to the
2:34best of your capability such that you
2:36are immersed in it. If you are not
2:37immersed in this [music] moment, then
2:39you're wasting your time.
2:40>> The meaning of life. It's funny that
2:44that
2:45that's the basis of all existential
2:47angst, that you don't
2:49>> You don't know why you're here.
2:50>> And you have this feeling that it could
2:52be meaningless. You start going, "Jesus
2:55Christ, what Am I just a little piece of
2:57this thing?" It's like
2:58>> Well, the answers to all the great
2:59questions are paradoxes.
3:01>> Yeah.
3:01>> So for example, you're asking like, "Do
3:03I matter?" That's like really the
3:05question you asked, right? Well, how do
3:06I matter in this infinite universe?
3:08Well,
3:09you know, on the one hand, you're
3:10separate. No two [music] points are the
3:12same. Every point is Every two points
3:14are infinitely different. You're
3:16completely separated. No one will have
3:17your thoughts, your emotions, [music]
3:18your feelings, your experience. So your
3:20life is a single-player game. You're
3:21trapped inside your head and you're just
3:22aware of a bunch of things going on and
3:24that's it. On the other hand, I cannot
3:27[music] say the words Joe Rogan without
3:29invoking the entire universe. Joe Rogan
3:32Alien comes along says, "What's that?"
3:34Joe Rogan. "What's Joe Rogan?" It's a
3:35human. [music] "What's a human?" Bipedal
3:37ape. "What's an ape?" On the Earth.
3:38"What's the Earth?" Planet. "What's a
3:39planet?" Solar system. "Where was the
3:41carbon made?" Inside stars, right? It's
3:43like I have to create the entire
3:45universe to just say the words Joe
3:47Rogan. So in that sense, you're
3:49connected to everything. It's
3:50inseparable. So the answer to that
3:53question of do I matter is I am nothing
3:56and I am everything. And you'll find
3:58this with all the great questions. The
3:59answers are all paradoxes, which is why
4:01at some level it's [music] sort of
4:02pointless to pursue them to find a trite
4:05answer like I'm giving, but the act of
4:07pursuing them is actually really useful
4:10because then it gives you certain
4:12intrinsic understanding in your life
4:14that brings a level of peace.
4:16Uh there's an interesting challenge
4:17where I think people need to avoid
4:19becoming
4:20uh a suffering addict, sort of using
4:22suffering as the proxy for progress as
4:25opposed [music] to the outcome of the
4:27suffering, right? It's like I was in
4:29pain not eating the marshmallow. I was
4:31in pain doing this work. I have
4:34attached well-being and satisfaction to
4:38pain, not to what the pain gets me on
4:40the other side of it. If you define pain
4:43as physical pain, then it's a real
4:44[music] thing. It happens and you can't
4:46ignore it, but that's not what we mean
4:48by suffering. Suffering is mostly mental
4:50anguish and mental pain. And it just
4:52means you don't want to do the task at
4:53hand. Uh if you were fine doing the task
4:56[music] at hand, then you wouldn't be
4:57suffering. And then the question is
4:58what's more effective to suffer along
5:00the way or just to interpret it in a way
5:02that is not suffering.
5:04You hear from a lot of successful
5:05people, they look back and they say,
5:06"Oh, the journey was the fun part,
5:08right? That was actually the
5:09entertaining part and I should have
5:10enjoyed it more." You can go back into
5:12your own life and uh try to
5:16put yourself in the exact position you
5:17were in 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 15
5:20years ago, 20 years ago, and you try to
5:22remember, "Okay, who was I with? What
5:23was I doing? What was I feeling?" And
5:26see if there's any advice you'd give
5:27yourself, anything you'd do differently.
5:28[music] Just knowing what you know now
5:30in terms of your temperament and a
5:32little bit of
5:33age-related experience,
5:36how would you have done things
5:37differently? And I think it's a
5:38worthwhile exercise to do, so don't let
5:40me rob you of the conclusion, but I'll
5:42tell you for me
5:43uh
5:45I would have done everything the same
5:47except I would have done it with less
5:48anger, less emotion, less internal
5:51suffering. Because that was optional. It
5:53wasn't necessary.
5:54And I would argue that someone who can
5:56do the [music] job,
5:58at least peacefully, but maybe happily,
6:00is going to be more effective than
6:02someone who has unnecessary emotional
6:04turmoil.
6:05>> Right. The outcome may have been the
6:07same, but the entire experience of
6:09getting there.
6:10>> And and the journey is not only the
6:11reward, the journey is the only thing
6:12there is. So,
6:13whether you're happy or unhappy at the
6:15end, it tends not to last. Now, I don't
6:18want to be glib and say that, "Oh,
6:20there's no point in making money or
6:21being successful." There there
6:22absolutely is. Money solves all your
6:23money problems. So, it is good to have
6:25money. Money can buy you happiness if
6:27you earned [music] it. Because then
6:29along the way, you have both pride and
6:31confidence [music] in yourself, and you
6:33have a sense of accomplishment, and you,
6:36you know, set out to do something and
6:37you were right. So, I I'll bet that
6:39lingers. And then, as I said, money
6:40solves your money problem. But, I would
6:42say in general, this this loop that we
6:44run through, um of desire, dopamine,
6:47fulfillment, unfulfillment. Like, you
6:49you have to enjoy the journey. The
6:50journey is all there is, right? 99% of
6:52your time is spent on the journey. So,
6:54what kind of a journey is it if you're
6:55not going to enjoy it?
6:56>> happy before the money.
6:57>> Mostly, yeah.
6:57>> How did you get happy before the money?
6:59>> I started getting older, you know? I
7:01just realized like life is short. I'm
7:02going to die.
7:05>> Again, trite, right?
7:06>> Trite. Trite.
7:07>> Yeah. Well, Confucius had a great saying
7:09that, you know, every man has two lives.
7:11And the second starts when he realizes
7:13he has just one.
7:15>> Wow.
7:17>> And I read that, and it was one of those
7:18book-dropping lines. You know, it's like
7:20mic drop. Confucius had a lot of mic
7:22drops.
7:23>> Confucius was a bad
7:24>> That's a crazy one.
7:25>> That was a great one.
7:27Um or another one is, next time you get
7:28sick, you know, cuz everybody gets sick
7:30every now and then, it's like a happy
7:32person wants 10,000 things. A sick
7:34person just wants one [music] thing.
7:36Right? So, it's your it's your unlimited
7:39desires that are clouding your peace,
7:40your happiness.
7:42Have desires. Your a
7:44creature that stands up and says, "I can
7:46do something. I move. I resist. I live."
7:50But, just be very careful of your
7:52desires. [music] This is the oldest,
7:53most tried wisdom. Desire is suffering.
7:55That's what it means, right? Every
7:57desire you have is an access
7:58>> [music]
7:59>> where you will suffer. So, just don't
8:01focus on more than one desire at a time.
8:03The universe is rigged in such a way
8:05that if you just want one thing and you
8:07focus on that, you'll get it. But,
8:08everything else you got to let
8:10>> How do you shortcut that desire
8:12contract?
8:14>> You could focus. You could decide that I
8:17don't want most things. I think we have
8:19a lot of unnecessary desires that we
8:21just pick up everywhere. We have
8:22opinions on everything, judgments on
8:24everything.
8:25Uh so, I think just knowing that those
8:27are the source of unhappiness
8:29uh will make you be choosy about your
8:31desires. And frankly, if you want to be
8:33successful, you have to be choosy about
8:35your desires. You have to focus. You
8:36can't be great at everything. You can't
8:37be great at everything. You're just
8:38going to waste your energy and waste
8:39your time. At the end of the day, I I do
8:41think, even despite what I said earlier,
8:43life is really a single-player game.
8:44It's all going on in your head. You
8:46know, whatever you think, you believe
8:49will very much shape your reality. Both
8:52from what [music] risks you take and
8:53what actions you perform, but also just
8:55your everyday experience of reality. If
8:57you're walking down the street and
8:58you're judging [music] everyone, you're
9:00like, "I don't like that person because
9:01of their skin color. I don't like that
9:02Oh, she's She's not attractive. That
9:04guy's fat. This person's a loser. Oh,
9:06who put this in my way?" You know,
9:09the more you judge, the more [music]
9:10you're going to separate yourself. And
9:12you'll feel good for an instant because
9:14you'll feel good about yourself. I'm
9:15better than that. But, then you're going
9:16to feel lonely. And then you're just
9:18going to see negativity everywhere. The
9:20world just reflects your own feelings
9:21back at you. Reality is neutral.
9:23>> [music]
9:24>> Reality has no judgments. To a tree,
9:26there's no concept of right or wrong or
9:28good or bad, right? You're born, you
9:30have a whole set of sensory experiences
9:32and stimulations and lights and colors
9:33and sounds, and then you die.
9:34>> Yeah.
9:35>> And how you choose to interpret that is
9:36up to you. You do have that choice. So,
9:39this is what I meant that happiness is a
9:40choice. If you [music] believe it's a
9:42choice, then you can start working on
9:44it. And I can't tell you how to find it
9:45because
9:46it's your own conditioning that are
9:48making you unhappy. So, you have to
9:49uncondition yourself. But, you have to
9:51believe it's possible. And it is
9:53absolutely [music] possible.
9:54>> Is fame a worthwhile goal?
9:57>> Uh it gets you invited to better
9:59parties.
10:00>> [laughter]
10:00>> Gets you into better restaurants.
10:02Uh fame. So, fame is this funny thing
10:05where a lot of people know you, but you
10:07don't know them.
10:08And uh
10:09>> [music]
10:09>> it does get you put on a pedestal. Uh it
10:11can get you what you want uh at a at a
10:13distance. So, I wouldn't say it's
10:15worthless. Obviously, people want it for
10:16a reason. Um it's high status, so it
10:19attracts the opposite sex. Uh especially
10:21for men, it attracts women. Uh that
10:23said, it is high cost. It means you have
10:25no privacy. [music]
10:26Um you do have weirdos and lunatics. Uh
10:29you do get hit up a lot for weird
10:31things. Uh and you're on a stage, so
10:33you're forced to perform. So, you're
10:35forced [music] to be consistent with
10:36your past proclamations and actions. And
10:38you're going to have haters and all that
10:39nonsense.
10:40But, the fact that we do it, the fact
10:42that we all seem to want it, means that
10:45it would be disingenuous to say, "Oh,
10:46no, no. I'm famous, but you don't want
10:48to be famous."
10:48>> Mhm.
10:49>> Um that said, I think fame, like
10:51anything else, is best produced as a or
10:54pursued as a byproduct of something
10:57potentially more worthwhile. Um wanting
11:00to be famous and craving to be famous
11:02and being famous for being famous,
11:04[music] these are sort of traps.
11:05>> Fame for fame's sake.
11:06>> Yeah, exactly. So, it's better that it's
11:08earned fame. So,
11:10generally, the higher up you rise by
11:12doing things for greater and greater
11:14groups of people, the higher level
11:15you're operating at, the more people
11:18you're taking care of, the more you sort
11:19of earn respect and fame. [music] And I
11:21think those are good reasons to be
11:22famous. If if fame is empty, if you're
11:25famous just cuz your name showed up in a
11:27lot of places or your face showed up in
11:28a lot of places, then that's a hollow
11:30fame. And I think [music] deep down you
11:32will know that, and so it'll be fragile,
11:34and you'll always be afraid of losing
11:35it, and then you'll be forced [music] to
11:36perform. So, the kind of fame that pure
11:39actors and celebrities have, I wouldn't
11:41want. But, [music] the kind of fame
11:42that's earned because you did something
11:44useful, uh
11:46why dodge that? You know, when I was
11:47growing up, there was this statement,
11:48[music] I think it was Pascal, he said,
11:50you know, all of man's problems arise
11:52because he cannot sit by himself in a
11:54room for 30 minutes alone. And it's a
11:55disease. [music]
11:56It's actually the road to misery. And
11:58now that I'm older, I realize like
12:01you actually want to, again, rest your
12:03mind. You want to learn how to settle
12:05into your mind.
12:06>> Imagine how effective you'd be [music]
12:07if you weren't anxious all the time.
12:08This is one of yours, now. Anxiety is
12:10the emotion du jour. What have you come
12:13to learn about anxiety and dealing with
12:15it?
12:16>> So, anxiety and stress are interesting.
12:18[music] They're very related. Stress is
12:20when like, if you look at an iron beam,
12:22when an iron beam is under stress, it's
12:24cuz it's being bent in two different
12:25directions at the same time. [music] So,
12:27when your mind is under stress, it's
12:29because it has two conflicting desires
12:31at once. So, for example, you know, you
12:34you want to be liked, but you want to do
12:36something selfish, and you can't
12:37reconcile the [music] two, and so you're
12:39under stress.
12:40You want to do something for somebody
12:42else, you want to do something for
12:43yourself, right? These are
12:44You You don't want to go to work, but
12:46you want to make money, so you're under
12:47stress, right? So, you have two
12:49conflicting desires. And I think one of
12:52the ways to get through stress is to
12:53acknowledge that oh, I actually have two
12:55conflicting desires. And [music] either
12:57I need to resolve it, I need to pick one
13:00and then be okay losing the other, or I
13:02will decide later. But, at least just
13:04being aware of why you're stressed can
13:06help alleviate a lot of stress.
13:08And then anxiety, I think, is sort of
13:11this pervasive unidentifiable [music]
13:13stress, where you're just kind of
13:15stressed out all the time, and you're
13:16not even sure why. And you can't even
13:18identify the underlying problem. [music]
13:20I think the reason for that is because
13:21you have so many
13:23uh unresolved problems, unresolved
13:25stress points that have piled up in your
13:27life that you can no longer identify
13:29what the problems are. And there's this
13:31mountain of garbage in your mind and
13:33it's a little bit of it poking out the
13:35top like an iceberg and [music] that's
13:37anxiety. But underneath there's a lot of
13:39unresolved things. And so you just need
13:41to kind of go through very carefully
13:42[music]
13:43every time you're anxious. Like if you
13:45can kind of identify and unravel and
13:48resolve these issues, then I think that
13:49[music] helps get rid of anxiety. Uh
13:52a lot of the anxiety is piled up because
13:54we move through life too quickly not
13:56observing our own reactions to things.
13:57[music] But you reflect on the problems
13:59to observe them and solve them. You
14:01don't reflect on them to feel better
14:02about to indulge them. If you're doing
14:04it to just feel better about yourself,
14:07that could be strengthening your
14:08personality and your ego and could be
14:10creating a more fragile personality.
14:12>> [music]
14:13>> Um you know, one one big anxiety resolve
14:15for me is this
14:17ruminating on death. I think that's a
14:18good one. You're going to die. It's all
14:20going to zero. Happiness is being
14:21satisfied with what you have.
14:23Success comes from dissatisfaction.
14:24[music]
14:26Is success worth it then? So, very
14:28complicated topic, but I always like the
14:30Socrates story where he goes into the
14:33marketplace and they show him all these
14:35luxuries and fineries and he says,
14:36[music]
14:37"How many things there are in this world
14:38that I do not want." And that's a form
14:40of freedom. So, not wanting something is
14:43as good as having [music] it.
14:44In the old story with Alexander
14:46Dionysius, right? Alexander goes out and
14:48conquers the world and he meets
14:49Dionysius who's living in a barrel and
14:51Dionysius [music] says, "Get out of the
14:52way, you're blocking my sun."
14:54And Alexander says, "Oh, how I wish I
14:56could be like Dionysius in the next
14:58life." And Dionysius says, "That's the
14:59difference. I don't wish that I could
15:01Sorry, Diogenes. Diogenes." Diogenes
15:03says, "I I I don't wish to be
15:04Alexander."
15:06So, two paths to happiness and one path
15:09is to success. You get what you want,
15:11you satisfy your material needs or like
15:13Diogenes, you just don't want it in the
15:14first place.
15:16And
15:17I'm not sure [music] which one is more
15:18valid.
15:19Um
15:21And it also depends what you define as
15:22success. If the end goal is happiness,
15:24then [music] why not cut to the chase
15:25and just go straight for it?
15:27Uh does being happy make you less
15:29successful? That is a conventional
15:31wisdom. That may even be [music] the
15:32practical earned experience of your
15:34reality. You find that when you're
15:35happy, you don't want anything, so you
15:37don't get up and do anything.
15:38On the other hand, you know,
15:41you still got to do something. You're an
15:42animal. You're here. You're here to
15:43survive. You're here to replicate.
15:45You're
15:46driven. You're motivated. You're going
15:47to do something. You're not just going
15:48to sit there all day. Unlike at least
15:50some people do. Maybe it's in their
15:51nature, but I think most [music] people
15:53still want to act.
15:54>> Is that a realization you think you
15:56could have gotten to had you have not
15:57had some success in the first place?
15:59>> [music]
16:02>> At least for me, I always wanted to
16:04[music] take the path of material
16:07success first. I was not going to go be
16:09an ascetic and sit there and renounce
16:10everything. That just seems too
16:12unrealistic and too painful. Uh in the
16:15story of Buddha, he starts out as a
16:16prince.
16:17And [music] then he sees that it's all
16:19kind of meaningless because you're still
16:20going to get old and die. And then he
16:21goes into the woods looking for
16:23something more. The reason to win the
16:24game is to be free of it. So, [music]
16:26you you play the games, you win the
16:28games, and then you get hopefully you
16:29get bored of the games. You don't want
16:31to just keep looping on the same game
16:32over and over. Although a lot of these
16:34games are very enticing and have many
16:35levels and are relatively open-ended.
16:38Uh and then you become free of the game
16:40uh in the sense [music] that you're no
16:42longer trying to win it. You know you
16:44can win it.
16:45Uh and either you move to a different
16:46game or you play the game for the sheer
16:48joy of it.
16:51What is happiness? [music]
16:55I think it's just basically [music]
16:56being okay with where you are.
17:01Not wanting.
17:03Not wanting things to be different than
17:04the way they are. Not having the sense
17:05that anything is missing in this moment.
17:07I think most people, if you were to ask
17:09them
17:10when they were happiest for a sustained
17:11[music] period of time, not for a brief
17:13moment, because pleasure can override
17:14happiness and create kind of this
17:15illusion of happiness.
17:17But if you ask people when they were
17:18happy for a sustained [music] period of
17:20time, they were probably doing some
17:22variation of nothing.
17:26>> That's interesting. [music]
17:27Because in the chase is this sort of
17:30lack, this contingency.
17:31>> That's right. But then you get bored.
17:34If you just sit around all the time, you
17:35get bored. So you want [music]
17:36adventure, you want surprise. Like
17:38there's the
17:39funny thought experiment of the bliss
17:41machine, right? Which [music] is suppose
17:43I could drill a hole in your head and
17:44put electrode in and they did this with
17:46monkeys and I can put a wire in there
17:49and I can stimulate just the right part
17:51of your brain and I can put you in
17:52bliss.
17:53And you would just be in bliss. Would
17:54you Would you want that? So most people
17:55will say, "Well, I don't want that. I
17:57want meaning. [music] I don't want just
17:58bliss, I want meaning."
17:59And you're like, "Okay, well, I'll put
18:01an electrode in there and I'll give you
18:02meaning. How about that?"
18:04>> [laughter]
18:04>> And
18:05>> [music]
18:05>> if you kind of run this thought
18:06experiment long enough, I think most
18:08people realize actually what I want is I
18:10want surprise. I want and I want the
18:12world to surprise me and I want to
18:14wrestle with it in ways that are
18:16somewhat predictable but somewhat not.
18:18And you kind of end up back where you
18:19started. You know, in every moment, in
18:21everything that happens, you can look on
18:22the bright side of something, right? And
18:24so I used to do that forcibly and then I
18:26trained it until it became second
18:28nature. So for example, like a friend of
18:30my wife's was over and she
18:33when we were dating and she took all
18:34these photos. She took like hundreds of
18:36photos and then she sent them all to us
18:38and my immediate reaction was like, "Why
18:39are you dumping hundreds of photos on my
18:41phone? I don't need hundreds of photos.
18:43Have some judgment." That was my
18:44immediate reaction. And then I could
18:45say, "Actually,
18:47how nice of her. She sent me hundreds of
18:49photos. I can pick the one that I like,
18:50right? There are two ways of seeing
18:52almost everything. There are a few
18:53things that are like high suffering so
18:55you can't do that other than just
18:56saying, "Well, this is a teacher."
18:57Right? But I slowly worked through every
19:00negative judgment that I had until I saw
19:02the positive in it and now it's second
19:03nature to me. I also realized that like
19:06what you want is you want a clear mind.
19:08You want to let go of thoughts.
19:10Happy thoughts disappear out of head
19:12automatically, very easily let go of
19:13them. Negative thoughts linger. So, if
19:15you interpret the neg- the positive in
19:17everything very quickly, [music]
19:18you let it go. Right? You let it go much
19:20faster.
19:22Um simple hacks, get more sunlight,
19:24right? Learn to smile more, learn to hug
19:26more. These things actually release
19:27serotonin in reverse. They [music]
19:29aren't just outward signals of being
19:30happy, they're actually feedback loops
19:32to being happy.
19:33Um spend more time in nature. You know,
19:35these are obvious. Watch your mind.
19:38Watch your mind all day long. Watch what
19:40it does. Not judge it, not try to
19:41control it, but you can meditate [music]
19:4224/7. Meditation is not a sit-down,
19:45close your eyes activity. Meditation is
19:47just basically watching your own
19:49thoughts like you would watch anything
19:51else in the outside world. And say, "Why
19:53am I having that thought? Does that
19:54serve me anymore? Is that conditioning
19:56from when I was 10 years old?"