The Dark Side of AYAHUASCA (What I Wish I Knew)

0:01iasa is known as a powerful tool for

0:03healing and transformation but what

0:06happens when it opens the door to

0:07something

0:09darker I had no idea the hidden reality

0:12of the medicine until I found myself

0:14trapped in a living

0:16[Music]

0:22nightmare yeah so it's been a freaking

0:25wild Journey with iasa we hear so many

0:28stories of breakthroughs and Awakenings

0:31but no one really talks about how many

0:33people come out of these iwasa

0:36ceremonies feeling absolutely worse than

0:38they started and it happens way more

0:41often than you might think even for the

0:43most experienced psychonaut or a

0:45completely happy and healthy person and

0:48that is the realm of black magic and

0:51energy attacks many westerners come to

0:54Peru looking for an authentic experience

0:58but are not aware of the reality of how

1:01common black magic is even with the

1:05locals that I know and talk to a lot of

1:07them are afraid of going to the jungles

1:09and taking iasa because of how common

1:12even sexual abuse is and I did not

1:15realize how real this was until it was

1:19staring me right in the face so I spent

1:21a month in the jungles of Peru and I've

1:25experienced IA before this I ended up at

1:28this Center and the first night of

1:31taking iasa it was the most intense and

1:36dark ceremony I had ever experienced up

1:39to that point being out in the

1:41sweltering heat in the pitch black just

1:44hearing the Roar of the jungles I felt

1:47like I was being eaten alive mosquitoes

1:50biting me gnawing pain and weakness

1:53through my entire body and as soon as

1:56the medicine hit deeper I was descending

1:59into hell it felt like I was being

2:01tortured and eaten alive and just

2:04overcome with so much fear just through

2:07my whole body and I was just trying to

2:09Center myself and to breathe and to come

2:11into my heart it felt like no matter how

2:14hard I tried to to work with the fear

2:17and alchemize it as I've done that so

2:19many times I was facing an uphill battle

2:21every direction that I went I was just

2:23being slapped in the face like all night

2:26I spent so many nights in ceremony

2:28feeling like this just wondering if

2:31something has changed for the better

2:33there was just no integration and no

2:35after care my body was just like getting

2:37weaker and weaker losing all this weight

2:40and my cheeks were hollowing out it got

2:42to a point one night of just Terror and

2:45fear all night complete exhaustion and I

2:48get up with all the strength that I have

2:51and completely black out and fell to the

2:54floor coming out of this iasa Center my

2:57stomach was completely distended no

3:00matter how much I ate it felt like I was

3:02never satisfied it felt like I would eat

3:05food and it wouldn't come out of me like

3:07it was just being held there was all

3:10this dark gloopy energy in my digestive

3:14system and in my womb as well I

3:17completely lost my period And I just

3:19knew that something was really really

3:21off so I went to one of my spiritual

3:24teachers and he felt it on me

3:26immediately and he had had so much

3:29experience with black magic cuz it's

3:30actually so prevalent there and yeah

3:33this is where things got really crazy so

3:36I ended up having a ceremony with him in

3:38order to cleanse of all these spells in

3:40this Darkness going into the ceremony it

3:43was a freaking battle for my soul like

3:47iasa was showing me how black magic

3:51Works layers of Illusion and clearing

3:54them out it was like in my ears and out

3:56of my mouth I was having Flash backs of

4:00the center the way that they were

4:02harvesting our energy it was like we

4:05were all their energy bank and all that

4:08energy was being drawn through us into

4:11the facilitator it just made so much

4:13sense because I knew how drained I felt

4:16every ceremony and it was really just

4:18showing me how vulnerable and open we

4:21are in these spaces when we take the

4:23medicine we are opening our field and

4:26it's so important to be Discerning of

4:29who we are energetically opening to and

4:32at a certain point I just felt such

4:34intensity that I asked for my teacher to

4:37come help me and so he took my hand and

4:40he brought me outside and it was just on

4:42the grass this old wooden chair under

4:46the starry night I was just hearing

4:49like like this really intense sound as

4:52if like my ear pressure was popping my

4:55whole body felt like I was in a wormhole

4:57just like trying to stay in this reality

5:00he sits me down on the chair and he has

5:03this long candle in his hand and he's

5:05like look at the light look at the light

5:06keep your eyes open my head was rolling

5:09around and I was trying so hard to keep

5:11my eyes open it felt like these entities

5:14were trying to hide from the light and I

5:16was looking at this candle and it was

5:18like my vision was split and there was

5:20like four flames and as I was breathing

5:23in this candle flame he started to do

5:25these rituals over my body chanting

5:28these sacred names of God he's

5:31like at a certain point it felt like I

5:34was fighting for my soul back as he was

5:37chanting I had this vision of my inner

5:39child completely wrapped in this web of

5:43darkness and she was starting to unravel

5:46and open I was going into this really

5:50Primal ancient place within me and I was

5:52like get out get out of my body get out

5:55and I was just like sending the entities

5:58up into the light and out of my body and

6:01at a certain point I felt my inner self

6:04unravel and open it was like I

6:07completely forgot who I was and finally

6:10I remembered again as she came back this

6:12like ancient wild mother like a mother

6:15wolf came out and I was just like I am

6:18back I am back I am back and it was just

6:21like full power and afterwards I went to

6:25the bathroom and just stuff was coming

6:28out of me it's so crazy the way that the

6:31spiritual is so connected to the

6:35energetic I don't know if it was

6:37parasites but something was holding all

6:40of this undigested food in my body as

6:43soon as he cleared all these energetic

6:46blockages I just like kept going to the

6:49bathroom until my stomach went from just

6:52completely big to totally flat and I got

6:57my period back that very same night I

7:00just learned so much that night and the

7:02medicine was really teaching me as well

7:04and guiding me showing me the way that

7:07these shamans they make deals with these

7:09entities because these entities are not

7:11connected to source and so they need a

7:14source to siphon energy from and so

7:17these entities make deals with certain

7:20people in exchange for fulfilling

7:22someone's internal desires whether that

7:24be power money beauty or even shamanic

7:29gifts as as well and this might sound

7:31like some Rogue crazy experience but

7:34it's way more common than you think one

7:36of my teachers actually says that to

7:39receive medicine from someone is almost

7:42as intimate as having sex with them

7:45because you are opening up to their

7:47world view their way of thinking that is

7:51creating the medicine space and not only

7:55that but you're also opening up your

7:57field to the other partip ipens as well

8:00but I hear of how common it is for these

8:03Bros brewhas to tamper with the medicine

8:06and actually put in other herbs that are

8:09known for black magic whether it be to

8:13sedate someone to manipulate their

8:15energy and go deeper into their

8:17Consciousness and I've heard of stories

8:19of people coming out of these iasa

8:22experiences completely kind of losing

8:25their sense of self and their Direction

8:27becoming these sort of wandering Souls

8:30that never really leave these towns

8:32through this experience it really got me

8:34thinking about how we romanticize this

8:37idea of going to Peru and having a real

8:40iwasa experience even though the

8:42landscape of iwasa is so different than

8:45what it traditionally was and when we

8:48combine these ancient Healing Arts with

8:51the world of

8:52commercialization things can get a bit

8:54sticky there are so many people taking

8:57on this name of Shaman because they know

8:59know how lucrative this industry is

9:02there's also this growing hunger for

9:04money that is explained really well in

9:06this article so I'm just going to read

9:07that it says that the new market economy

9:10encourages accumulation and iasa has

9:13turned into the only body of local

9:15knowledge that has made some indigenous

9:18people wealthy the prospect of

9:19accumulation introduces a novelty into

9:22the customary practices while the

9:24patient is a burden for the Healer in

9:26the local systems in the iasa centers

9:29each extra day the patient stays means

9:31more money yeah and that's what I've

9:33seen that just people are just

9:35continually paying I've even heard of

9:38Shaman using energy darts which have

9:41certain intentions so these intentions

9:43can be that someone becomes an advocate

9:46and tries to tell everyone to go to the

9:49shaman these darts can be to make this

9:51person fall in love or to continue

9:55giving money to the shaman it's really

9:57crazy the things that happen and I've

9:59personally seen this play out in people

10:02thankfully I found facilitators that I

10:04really trust and the experience of the

10:07medicine is completely night and day I

10:09feel like one of the core things is

10:11their connection to God and to source

10:14and bringing in this Divine remembrance

10:18so just because there are these bad

10:20experiences does not mean that they all

10:22are and I've experienced incredible and

10:25genuine keepers of this medicine and so

10:28much healing but there are so many other

10:31ways and it is not the only path as well

10:33so really feel into what you are being

10:35called to so how do you find a genuine

10:39and safe space to experience iasa I'd

10:42say the first thing is to really feel

10:44into if you are actually being called to

10:47the medicine because I find sometimes

10:49when we force an experience and we just

10:51book some random thing that we end up in

10:54situations that aren't always the most

10:58supportive what I found is that when I

11:00allowed it to come to me and I really

11:02felt into it that's when I had the most

11:05positive experiences and sometimes there

11:07can be this cultural disconnect as well

11:09where these people live very different

11:12lives than than a Westerner and is not

11:15always understand the Western conditions

11:17and the way that we have these different

11:20mental disorders and ways of thinking

11:23and it it can be really supportive to go

11:25to a center that perhaps has a therapist

11:28or someone who has a background in

11:31Psychology and is able to support with

11:34integration and who really understands

11:37and can connect with you and the next

11:39thing is to really observe the energy of

11:42the shaman or facilitator and they may

11:44have all these magical powers in the

11:46medicine space but when you observe them

11:48in normal life do they feel genuine do

11:51they genuinely care do they have

11:53humility is this someone with qualities

11:56that you admire and that you want to

11:58step more more into whatever they are

12:01expressing on a daily basis whatever

12:03habits they have that is what is

12:05reflected in the energy of the medicine

12:08space as well people come to experience

12:10iasa thinking that because it's so

12:13intense that it's deeper healing and

12:15it's more powerful and we're looking for

12:17the this quick fix this fast way of

12:20healing and with the prevalence of

12:23malpractice I'd be super cautious about

12:26just going on Google and looking for

12:28some random online Retreat this my first

12:31first time you also the guy he told me

12:33that you need to be very careful if you

12:34go to inito because there are a lot of

12:37shamanic people who do black magic as

12:39well they believe in if you like how

12:42much power the the iasa can give to you

12:45with like the white light so you can

12:48understand that there is a black light

12:49to it as well and I didn't even want to

12:51believe him that time because I feel

12:53like no it's only just good we just

12:54believe in the good stuff right they he

12:56said that a lot of really really famous

12:58ones they try to like take your energy

13:01or or whatever in a way I feel like

13:03energy can be taken because it's yours

13:05but on the other hand if you believe it

13:07good or they try I don't know what they

13:09do the the main thing is that if they

13:12see a very big white light on you that's

13:15what I triy to get she saw my light and

13:18like she wanted that energy for herself

13:20so she was like trying to take from me

13:21sometimes they don't have awareness of

13:24the fact that energy is infinite and

13:26that we all have access to it so they

13:28think that the only way to get power is

13:30through stealing it from other people

13:32these entities all they can do is siphon

13:34energy that energy is infinite if you

13:36actually understand from the higher

13:38level at the end of the day I realize

13:40that whatever they take I never actually

13:43lose like I can always bring my power

13:45back I can always do that work but it

13:47was definitely more than just saying I'm

13:50Healed and it's all back to me like it

13:51was like layers and layers these demons

13:54entities had to kind of like lie to you

13:56in order for you to feel powerless and I

13:58had to like

13:59undo the layers of deception Within

14:02Myself to finally bring all of that back

14:05it can be very traumatizing yeah in

14:08these when you're so open and

14:11experiencing all this fear yeah you know

14:14iasa she really goes to the depths and

14:16I've had high highs and low lows like

14:19the lowest I've had in medicine and I've

14:21heard the worst bad experiences from

14:24myasa and also like the most incredible

14:26transformation with iwasa

14:29there's such a range and when we're

14:31working with flawed humans that are

14:33still working through their own Shadows

14:35like that can really be a thing the

14:37biggest thing is really just to trust

14:39your intuition if something feels

14:41slightly off don't disregard that that's

14:43what I did at the start I was like her

14:45energy feels a little bit cocky or like

14:47it feels a little bit I don't know

14:48something really listen to that and

14:51listen to your discernment the greatest

14:53protection that you have is your

14:54awareness coming out of the center it

14:57took me months of deep work in order to

15:00clear the layers of distortion and come

15:03back into my strength but thankfully it

15:07led me to Angelic healing and these

15:09sacred practices to heal and cleanse and

15:13bring in the light and I feel like I'm

15:16stronger because of it it really brought

15:18me so much compassion and understanding

15:21and now it is just so dear to my heart

15:23to help others through these experiences

15:26and so yeah I put together a few

15:28resources and tools of the practices

15:30that have completely saved me through

15:32this process to really strengthen your

15:34field in general no matter what

15:35situation that you're in I have that in

15:37the description and I'll see you on the

15:39next one