I Spent $1.3M On My Face. These 5 Things Actually Help My Jowls.

0:00Of everything on your face, your jowls

0:03are the thing that ages you the fastest.

0:06A jowl isn't a skin problem, it's the

0:08whole frame of your face coming down.

0:10But, I'm going to show you what actually

0:12works. Before you do anything, let me

0:14tell you about the thing that I did that

0:17I would never encourage you to do

0:19because it [ __ ] my [ __ ] up. Your

0:21actual face bones start shrinking.

0:25I'm sorry, [ __ ] what? If you could

0:27only do [snorts] one thing, what would

0:29it be? I would put my money into the

0:31[ __ ]

0:38If you've ever taken two fingers and

0:41pushed the sides of your face back up,

0:43chasing that jawline you had at 35, and

0:46you want to know how to actually fix

0:47that for good, well, this one's for you.

0:50Here's the first true thing, and it will

0:52save you a lot of money. No cream is

0:55going to do it. I know, I wish. A jowl

0:58isn't a skin problem, it's the whole

1:00frame of your face coming down. But, I'm

1:02going to show you what actually works,

1:04what's a complete waste of money, the

1:06thing that I'm trying next, and the

1:08treatment that I paid thousands for that

1:10actually made my jowls worse. I'm 48,

1:14I've never had a facelift, but I have

1:16spent 1.3 million dollars to look hot as

1:18[ __ ] I know, it's a lot of money to me,

1:20too. And that fairy godmother I prayed

1:22for as a little girl, well, she never

1:24came. So, I became my own, and today,

1:27I'm yours. So, let's get into it. I'm

1:30Cynthia Garcia, your foul-mouthed fairy

1:32godmother. I grew up dirt poor in

1:34Appalachia, where I dumpster dived for

1:36makeup and got called ugly enough times

1:39that I finally started to believe it.

1:41Then, I made some money, and I spent it

1:43figuring out how to be hot as [ __ ] at

1:45any age. This is I'd like to thank

1:48myself, the show where I try every

1:50procedure and product and treatment so

1:53you don't have to, and And I tell you

1:55what's worth it and what to leave where

1:57you found it. Now, if you're new here, a

2:00quick disclaimer, I cuss a lot. That's

2:03just how I talk. Now, if that's not for

2:05you, that's all right, but this is your

2:08stop. And if you stay, don't talk [ __ ]

2:11in the comments cuz I just [ __ ]

2:13warned you. And if you are staying,

2:15well, grab a drink. I will stop the

2:17yabber-yabbering and we have got some

2:20[ __ ] to talk about. And real quick, why

2:23we're doing this today. Of everything on

2:26your face, your jowls are the thing that

2:29ages you the fastest, faster than a

2:31wrinkle, faster than anything, I think.

2:34And right now, there is a whole

2:36generation of us taking care of our kids

2:38and our parents at the same time. We are

2:41done disappearing and we are finally

2:43looking in the mirror and going, "Okay,

2:45now it's my turn." And if that's you,

2:48you're exactly where you're supposed to

2:50be.

2:51So, why is this whole thing even

2:53happening? Because once you get this,

2:55you're going to get it and you're going

2:57to stop throwing money at the wrong

2:59stuff. So, a jowl is not just your skin

3:03getting loose. I know, I thought that,

3:05too. It's actually a bunch of different

3:07things falling all at one time. You lose

3:11the little pads of fat that held your

3:13cheeks up high. The collagen underneath

3:15starts to get thin and the little cords

3:18that anchor your face to the bone,

3:20retaining ligaments, they stretch out

3:22and they stop holding everything up. And

3:24then, well, there's gravity that comes

3:26in and politely does the rest. And then,

3:29there's the part that nobody told me,

3:31your actual face bones start shrinking.

3:36I'm sorry, [ __ ] what?

3:38Your face bones start shrinking? I know.

3:41Apparently, it wasn't enough that my

3:42collagen left the building and my

3:44hormones went missing. Now, my skull is

3:47[ __ ] shrinking, too. Amazing. I love

3:49this for us.

3:52Your eye sockets start to widen. Your

3:54jaw bone pulls back.

3:56And as that whole frame recedes, the fat

3:59and skin that were sitting right on top

4:01of it, well, they have nowhere to go but

4:03down. You get it, right? And it speeds

4:05up right around perimenopause, when your

4:07estrogen drops because estrogen was part

4:10of what kept that bone strong. And then,

4:13we might as well talk about it. If you

4:15add those weight loss shots, you know,

4:17you know what I'm talking about, right?

4:19You get it. You finally lose those 20

4:21lbs you've been trying to get rid of

4:22since 2017. You put on the jeans, you

4:25turn sideways, you're feeling yourself,

4:27and then you look at your face and you

4:29think,

4:30"What the [ __ ] happened up here?"

4:32>> [laughter]

4:33>> You get it? If you know, you know. So,

4:35it's not just your skin and it is not

4:37just your fault. But regardless, I know

4:40you are ready to do whatever it takes to

4:42fix it. And before you do anything, let

4:44me tell you about the thing that I did

4:47that I would never encourage you to do

4:50because it [ __ ] my [ __ ] up. All right,

4:51so, here's my confession. A few years

4:54ago, I started watching my face just

4:57slowly lose volume. My jaw was getting a

4:59little soft, a little saggy and baggy

5:01and draggy, and I did what I bet a lot

5:05of you are doing right now. I just

5:07blamed my age. I was like, "You know,

5:09this is just the problem. I need to go

5:11get it tightened." So, I kept going in

5:13for this treatment, Morpheus 8. Have you

5:16heard of it? I know. Do you know where

5:18this is going? Okay, great.

5:20Where were you when I was getting this

5:22done? So, Morpheus 8 is radiofrequency

5:25microneedling, and I thought this was

5:29going to, you know, fix the sag. Turns

5:32out, it was making it worse. So, yeah,

5:36because I had volume loss. It was

5:39causing volume loss, which, of course,

5:40as I just told you, makes everything

5:43fall down because my [ __ ] face, my

5:45skull, is shrinking. So, to recap, I

5:48paid tens of thousands of dollars to fix

5:50my jowls and accidentally bought myself

5:54more jowls. I know, fantastic

5:56investment, Warren Buffett would be

5:58proud.

5:59Warren Buffett's like, I don't know that

6:00[ __ ]

6:01Never seen her before in my life. Okay,

6:03so here's the thing. I know that

6:05Morpheus 8 can be a great treatment for

6:07some people. I get it. I know that you

6:09have to pick your provider well. Trust

6:11and believe I did that. But some people

6:15just aren't the right fit for certain

6:16treatments and that's just the facts.

6:19Another fact is at the end of last year

6:21the FDA, those guys, put out a warning

6:25that these radio frequency microneedling

6:27machines, you know, like Morpheus 8, can

6:29do exactly what the [ __ ] I just said,

6:32melt facial fat. And they named a whole

6:35category, not just one machine. So,

6:37don't think it's just Morpheus 8, it is

6:39this whole microneedling with radio

6:42frequency. So, I ended up having to go

6:44back and spend more money to fix it. I

6:46rebuilt the volume that it stole with

6:49Sculptra. So, if you're doing a

6:50treatment to tighten and somehow you

6:52look more deflated, it might not be your

6:54age, it might be the treatment itself.

6:57All right, so now that we got that out

6:58of the way, I want to start with the

7:00thing that you can do today and actually

7:02two things that you can do today to help

7:05your jowls. Now, number one is

7:06sunscreen. I know, you're like, [ __ ]

7:08what?

7:10Hear me out. Every single day, even when

7:12you're inside, even in winter, you have

7:14to wear your sunscreen. The sun breaks

7:17down the collagen that holds your face

7:18up faster than anything else. So, if

7:21you're skipping it, you're literally

7:22speeding up the exact thing that we're

7:25here trying to fight. And number two,

7:27use a retinoid at night. Now, I use

7:29prescription prescription tretinoin,

7:31I'll get that out in a minute. It is

7:33inexpensive and it has real proof that

7:35it builds back your collagen over time.

7:38Now, here's where I got to be honest

7:40with you, though. This will not lift a

7:41jowl that's already dropped. Nothing you

7:43put on your skin will, but this is your

7:45foundation. It keeps what you've

7:47currently got from falling apart faster,

7:50and then everything else I'm about to

7:51show you is going to work better on skin

7:54that you actually took care of. And

7:56listen, you can skip it, you do you,

7:58your face, your choice, but you're only

8:00making it harder on yourself if you do.

8:02All right, now that we've got that out

8:05of the way, let's talk about what I do.

8:07And the first thing that I do at home is

8:10a microcurrent device. Two actually, cuz

8:13I'm a psycho. It runs a tiny little

8:16current through your face to tone the

8:17muscle, and I do it, you know, four to

8:20five days a week. It's the gym for my

8:22face. It keeps things toned, and it

8:24gives me a little lift for the day, but

8:27what it won't do is drag a dropped jowl

8:30all the way back up to where it used to

8:32be. But stay with me, because the thing

8:34that actually lifts, not just tones, is

8:37only a few steps from here. And

8:41microcurrent devices are amazing for the

8:44at-home maintenance in between your

8:47treatments that actually do lift your

8:49jowls back into place. All right, next

8:51step is Sculptra, and I've got a little

8:55tippy tip on this one that even a lot of

8:58injectors get wrong, or it's just they

9:00don't understand it. So, Sculptra is an

9:03injection that tells your own body to

9:05rebuild its collagen over a few months

9:08to replace the volume that you've lost.

9:10Pretty simple. It's literally how I

9:12rebuilt the face that that last

9:14treatment I told you about stole from my

9:16face, and that's why I wanted to talk

9:18about it now, too. Because here's the

9:20part that people fight about. So, again,

9:23Sculptra amazing for rebuilding

9:26collagen, takes a few months, it's not

9:28just a traditional filler. Now, you're

9:31going to hear that you can't do Sculptra

9:33if you ever want a facelift in the

9:35future.

9:36Okay, so that was pretty disappointing

9:39for me because I absolutely intend to

9:41have a facelift in the future. So, I

9:44thought, let me do my own research cuz

9:46that's what I do. So, I went so far down

9:48the Sculptra facelift research hole that

9:51I basically gave myself an honorary

9:53medical degree. Like Harvard has yet to

9:55acknowledge it, but that's okay. I'm

9:58patient. I talked to some of the top

10:00surgeons in the country and here's where

10:02I landed. A facelift and Sculptra, they

10:05do two totally different jobs. A

10:07facelift lifts and repositions the

10:09tissue that's dropped. Well, and that's

10:12it. That's what it does. It doesn't

10:13rebuild your collagen or refill the

10:15volume that you've lost. So, you can go

10:18into surgery with thin deflated skin and

10:21come out looking tight and right, but

10:23not actually fresher, just pulled.

10:27Sculptra, it does the opposite. It

10:29rebuilds your own collagen and thickens

10:32the skin so your surgeon is working with

10:35firmer, fuller, better skin and thicker,

10:38healthier skin heals better and it holds

10:41the result longer. The [snorts] lift

10:44helps the sag. So, the Sculptra handles

10:46the quality and volume that the lift

10:49literally can't do anything about. So,

10:51as long as you do it well ahead of

10:53surgery and I'm aiming to stop it about

10:5518 months before and your surgeon knows

10:58every single round that you've had, the

11:00consensus is it's more helpful than

11:03harmful. Now, I will say not every

11:06surgeon agrees on the timing, so trust

11:08yours and let it be the deciding vote.

11:11Okay, a quick break. If you want to go

11:13deeper into all the products and

11:15procedures and everything that I do to

11:17look and feel hot as [ __ ] at any age,

11:20then I would say join us in the Vanity

11:22Club. It's where I go deep on

11:24everything, literally everything. I

11:26answer your questions and also hundreds

11:28of women are there sharing their

11:30experience, like what worked and what

11:32didn't for them. You can find the link

11:34to join the Vanity Club in the

11:36description. Another thing that I do for

11:39my jowls is filler, and this is where a

11:42lot of people get it wrong, including

11:45some injectors. How do I know? Cuz I

11:47paid them, and they [ __ ] up my jowls.

11:49So, do not put filler directly in your

11:53jowls. I know, it's already heavy. We do

11:56not need to give the [ __ ] luggage.

11:58Where I actually put mine is on my chin

12:01and at the very back of my jaw, right on

12:04the bone up at my ear. So, I'm not

12:07filling the sag, I'm rebuilding the

12:09corners of the frame, so the whole jowl

12:12just looks lifted and tighter. Now,

12:14we've covered a lot, and it's funny cuz

12:16I get asked a lot why I do all these

12:19things, and it's probably not what you

12:22think. Unless you think it's because I'm

12:23vain, in which case, you would be right.

12:27But, that's only half the story. See,

12:30here's the rest of it. I was not a cute

12:32kid. I know, I know, some of y'all

12:34looking at me now going, "This [ __ ] is

12:36lying. This [ __ ] is lying. There's just

12:39no way." But, you're going to have to

12:41trust me on this one. I just I wasn't. I

12:44got teased, I got bullied every single

12:45day at school, like literally every

12:47single day. Come home crying. I hated

12:49going to school. And books were how I

12:53escaped. And I remember, ever since I

12:55was a little girl, I would read the

12:57story Cinderella, you know it, over and

13:00over. Because I knew, deep in my gut,

13:02that if my fairy godmother would just

13:03show up like hers did, everything would

13:06be different. I used to pray to Jesus, I

13:08[ __ ] you not, sorry Jesus, forgive me,

13:11to send me a fairy godmother who could

13:13make me pretty so the teasing would

13:15stop. But, she never came. So, I became

13:18my own fairy godmother. And that's what

13:21all of this is. It was never about

13:22chasing 25, it's that bullied little

13:25girl finally getting her own fairy

13:27godmother, even if she had to build her

13:30with her own two hands. So, no, I'm not

13:32going to sit down and disappear without

13:34a fight. And if you've been waiting for

13:36your fairy godmother to show up, too,

13:38good news, I'm right here.

13:40All right, real quick, because if you're

13:42anywhere near 40, this one's for you.

13:44When your hormones shift in

13:45perimenopause and menopause, as we all

13:48know they do, your skin takes the hit

13:51five different ways. You go dull because

13:53some of your skin cells basically fell

13:55asleep on the job. Cortisol and stress

13:58start showing up on your face. You get

13:59dark spots. Your barrier breaks down.

14:02Things start to sting, and you get, you

14:04know, that weird texture. And you lose

14:06the water and the plumpness that kept

14:08you looking nice and fresh. Now, there's

14:10an ingredient that answers every single

14:12one of those. You want to have a

14:14senolytic alpine rose for those zombie

14:16cells breaking down your collagen and

14:18causing the fine lines and wrinkles.

14:20Neurophroline for the cortisol. THD

14:23vitamin C for the dark spots.

14:25Niacinamide for the barrier. And then

14:28different molecular weights of

14:29hyaluronic acid for the water and the

14:31plump. Now, you could go buy five

14:34separate bottles and pray that you layer

14:36them in right, but I put all five of

14:38them into one bottle in the right

14:40percentages, so they actually work

14:42together instead of fighting each other.

14:44It's called Show the Face Up, and it's

14:46the serum I made when I turned 40 and

14:49refused to disappear. I named the whole

14:51brand Rewritten because that's exactly

14:54what it's for, rewriting the signs of

14:56aging on your face and the stories

14:58you've been told about it. Now, I put

14:59the code myself along with the link in

15:03the description if you want to go and

15:04pick yours up. Again, enter the code

15:07myself for 15% off. The link is in the

15:10description. Okay, this next one is my

15:14favorite little trick. See, there is a

15:16big flat muscle running down the front

15:18of your neck, and somewhere in your 40s,

15:20this muscle apparently gets a new job

15:22description. For mine, it was pull

15:24Cynthia's face toward the [ __ ]

15:26floor. I know. What a job description

15:29like, what? Anyways, what I do for that

15:32is something called an Efferti D neck

15:34lift. So, my injector puts a little

15:36Botox in that muscle to relax the pull

15:39and your jaw just kind of floats back up

15:41on its own because nothing is pulling it

15:43south anymore. Now, she also puts a few

15:46drops strategically in my jawline for a

15:48rejuvenated look. I do this a few times

15:51a year and it's one of the only things

15:53on here that actually lifts instead of

15:56just improving your skin. The one thing

15:58I will say is you have to be careful

16:00with Botox. I've talked about an Efferti

16:03D neck lift before, but I haven't shared

16:05this and it's important. So, if you're

16:07getting Botox in your masseter, which is

16:10this big chewing muscle, um and you're

16:12doing it to slim your jaw, that's why I

16:14did it. I did it years ago. I would go

16:17easy now that we're getting a little bit

16:19older. Why? Well, if you shrink that

16:22muscle too much on a face that's already

16:24loosening, you can make the jowl drop

16:27worse. So, just be careful about that

16:29one and let your injector know your

16:31goals. Now, there's one more that I

16:34haven't tried yet, but I'm going to and

16:36I'm going to report back and it's called

16:38hyper diluted Radiesse. It's watered

16:40down and it's spread through the jaw and

16:42the neck so that it builds collagen

16:44instead of filling. So, I'm booked to do

16:46my neck and jowls in just a few weeks. I

16:48haven't done it yet, so I'm not going to

16:50sit here and pretend that it all turns

16:51out great. [ __ ] we'll see, but I will

16:54bring you the honest before and after.

16:57So, subscribe because that's the only

16:59way you're going to find out if it

17:00worked or if I just paid for my next

17:02injector's vacation or both. Both of

17:05those things might be true. I guess

17:06we're going to see. All right, now that

17:08we've got all the things that work out

17:09of the way, let me save you a pile of

17:11money on the step that gets all the hype

17:14and does absolutely jack [ __ ] for your

17:16jowls. First of all, mewing. You know

17:18where you press your tongue to the roof

17:20of your mouth? I can't do it cuz I'm

17:21talking. And you try you do that for a

17:23sharper jawline. Your jawbones do not

17:26change at 48. Real orthodontists have

17:29said so out loud. Now, it is great for

17:32snatching your jawline for a photo, but

17:35as soon as your tongue comes down, so do

17:37your jowls. Face yoga, that's another

17:39one. Now, it can build a little bit of

17:41cheeky cheek, which might pull up a

17:43smidget smidget, but it does not lift

17:46your jowls. Another thing, those chin

17:49straps and those V-shaped face masks,

17:52what the what? They work exactly as long

17:54as you're wearing them,

17:56so not at all. And then drinking

17:58collagen might do a tiny little

17:59something for your skin, but it is not

18:01climbing into your face to rebuild

18:04anything. I know, don't shoot the

18:06messenger. I'm just telling you so you

18:07don't keep wasting your money and your

18:10hope. All right, now, other things. Gua

18:12Sha, the ice rollers, the massage tools,

18:15those are real, and they actually do

18:17work, but only for a few hours. So,

18:19they're going to move fluid and de-puff,

18:22and you might look a little bit tighter

18:23again for some photos, videos, a lunch

18:27date that you have, but after that,

18:29you're done. It's a push-up bra, not a

18:32breast lift, and you should know the

18:34difference.

18:35All right, so I've done all of these

18:37things, and I even shared the thing that

18:38I'm about to do. But if you made me tell

18:41you where I would spend my money after

18:44the hyperdiluted Radiesse, here it is.

18:46So, after all of this, where did we

18:47land? If it were me, and I was picking

18:50and choosing, cuz I get asked, like if

18:51you could only do one thing, what would

18:53it be? I would put my money into the

18:55Botox Nefertiti neck lift to release the

18:58pull, and I would do filler in those key

19:00spots, remember me, to rebuild the

19:03frame. That combo would give me the most

19:06real lift for the money every single

19:08time. But also, let's just be clear and

19:12honest, can we? Can we tell the truth?

19:14There comes a point where none of this

19:17[ __ ] is going to do what surgery can do.

19:20So, if the jowls have really dropped and

19:22you want them actually lifted and put

19:24back into place, the next step from here

19:27is a facelift or at a minimum a lower

19:29facelift. Now, I haven't crossed that

19:32bridge yet, but I will and trust me when

19:35I do, you're all coming with me, you

19:37know. And by the way, I know at this

19:39point somebody is already in the

19:41comments typing, "Why can't you just age

19:44gracefully?"

19:46Because, Linda, I don't [ __ ] want to.

19:48Hope that clears things up.

19:50You see,

19:51the point was never a perfect jaw. The

19:54point is that I get to decide what

19:55happens to my face, not time, not

19:57gravity, and not Linda. That little girl

20:00praying for a fairy godmother, she never

20:02got one. So, she grew up and she became

20:05one. And everything I just handed you,

20:07as I said before, that's me being yours.

20:10All right, if that felt like a lot,

20:12don't you worry, I did some extra work

20:14for you. I put every single one of these

20:16things onto a page, everything from the

20:19simple step all the way up to the

20:21surgery, what it cost, and where I would

20:23spend my own money. It's free, the link

20:25is in the description, so go grab it.

20:28And on that note, a toast. All right,

20:30raise a glass, toast whatever you got,

20:32say it with me.

20:34A toast. I'd like to thank myself for

20:36the little girl who read Cinderella

20:38until the pages fell apart, prayed for a

20:40fairy godmother who never came, and

20:43never ever gave up.

20:46For being the little girl who got told

20:48she was ugly until she believed it, and

20:50spent 20 years trying to prove them

20:52wrong before I realized I never even had

20:55to.

20:57For telling you all of it, the hard way,

20:59the expensive way, the humiliating

21:01stories, so you don't have to spend the

21:04same time and money that I did.

21:07A toast to that little girl back in the

21:10day. Oh, if I could get to her now, I

21:12would tell her that she becomes the

21:14woman none of them saw coming.

21:17To my daughter, who is never going to

21:19have to pray for a fairy godmother

21:20because she was born to one.

21:22To the face I had at 38 that I'm not

21:26ashamed to miss. And to the face I have

21:29at 48 that I'm not ashamed to fight for.

21:34And to the woman standing at her mirror

21:36right now with two fingers on either

21:38side of her jaw,

21:40who is every single one of us. You are

21:43not alone.

21:45And to every woman who was ever told to

21:47sit down and be grateful, get up. We've

21:49got [ __ ] to do.

21:51To who we were, to who we are, and to

21:53the hottest [ __ ] versions of ourselves

21:55we are becoming. For that and so much

21:58more, I'd like to thank myself. Cheers.

22:03Mhm.

22:05Ooh. Ooh, that's good. I tried a new

22:07champagne today. It's very tasty. Mhm,

22:10so good.