Maria Dębska "Lalka"- poczułam się jak księżniczka. Wywiad W MOIM STYLU | Magda Mołek

0:02Baby , don't you think we're going to

0:07break through ? Blue .

0:27The episode is sponsored by the Gerlen

0:29brand , which created the LER Blue

0:31perfume , inspired by the scent of the

0:33sky during Blue Hour . The fragrance has

0:36three unique notes : an ozonic accord ,

0:38vanilla , and iris tincture . If you'd

0:41like to shop , I invite you to the

0:43episode description ; I'll leave you a

0:44gift code . And now , a conversation with

0:48the official LER Blue ambassador in

0:49Poland . It all came together to make

0:52three premieres in one month , like

0:54projects I'd been working on for a year

0:55and a half . I called this project "

0:57Dancing with the Stars . " I had a moment

0:59of utter gratitude that , wow , you're

1:01going on set and your name is written

1:02somewhere next to it . With names like

1:04that , I always choose perfumes for

1:06roles , always different for each one . I

1:09owe it to my dog for teaching me

1:11closeness , responsibility , keeping

1:13myself in my pocket , my needs , and for

1:15being there for me when I was going

1:17through a rough patch . There are

1:19moments in life when you say , " No , I

1:21can't do it without any . " Well

1:22, I just can't . I've done it many times

1:24, but I can't do it now . I'm terrible

1:26because I don't let up and I say , whose

1:28face will it be ? Mine , so gosh , let's

1:30press on . I made this comedy , the only

1:32romantic one of my life , but I don't

1:33regret it at all . I don't regret a

1:35thing , not even the one that didn't

1:36turn out so well .

1:37Good morning . I wanted to give you all

1:39a very warm welcome , yyy , to the first

1:41episode after the summer break , an

1:43episode in my style . I'm simply

1:46thrilled . I didn't know it would take

1:49me so long , 30 years , even 31 years of

1:51work , and I still feel butterflies in

1:53my stomach when I sit down to work

1:55after a long break . And to make this

1:58first meeting with you after a

2:00two-month vacation even more enjoyable ,

2:02I invited such a wonderful person . I

2:05wonder if she smells good today . Maria

2:08Dębska , actress , but hey , I thought

2:11you were smelling some , um , wonderful

2:13premieres of your projects for the fall

2:15. There'll be quite a bit of that .

2:19Well ,

2:20gee , but you've closed the door on your

2:22work now , now you're reaping the

2:23rewards . It's very strange , because I ,

2:26um , it's like something accumulated ,

2:28like I have three premieres in one

2:29month , like projects I've been working

2:31on for a year and a half , and I've had

2:33a really free time for the last few

2:35months . I was taking advantage of my

2:37vacation , like it was great , and

2:38suddenly

2:39we're both rested . Um ,

2:40yes , but suddenly there's a flood , and

2:42well , that's interesting , because

2:44firstly , I'm a bit worried because

2:46there are three big premieres , it's

2:47hard for me to cope , you know , to

2:49integrate , because for me it's always

2:51such a closure , it's

2:52strange , yea , I often talk to directors

2:54about it , like we finish shooting , they

2:56sit down to edit , they edit , then some

2:58post-production , and they and he are in

3:00the process , and then there's the

3:02premiere , and we finish shooting . I

3:04always have a moment of mourning . I'm

3:05sad that things will never be as good

3:07again , that , you know , I said goodbye

3:09to these people , they became my family ,

3:11and so on . We call each other , and I'm

3:13hiding those roles somewhere deep

3:14inside me for now . And then suddenly it

3:17comes out , and you have to relive it ,

3:19and now three at once . So , well , that's

3:22beautiful . Wait , let's dwell on that

3:24feeling , because what you just said ,

3:26that it's some kind of mourning , that

3:27you have to relive it ,

3:29sounds a bit like the loss of something

3:31beautiful , but look at it with the hope

3:33that you can return to it later . So

3:34it's not , you know , the loss of , I

3:36don't know , love , or I don't know , the

3:38loss of something important , but you

3:40still return to it , so you can still

3:42console yourself with it .

3:43Unless I didn't like it , but no ,

3:45usually I do , I get very attached and

3:48connected and grieve .

3:49You know what ? Yes , but it's different .

3:53For example , a few days ago I watched

3:55the Sky Showtime series " My Pawn , " and

3:57it always feels like watching something

3:59I'm in for the first time again . I have

4:03a lot of unpleasant emotions about

4:05myself , and

4:07we'll talk about imposter syndrome

4:08later . Well , I guess . But not that it's

4:12emotionally strange , because I left my

4:13heart there . In one project , more of it

4:18was needed , but usually I feel like I'm

4:20leaving what I can , the most , and I've

4:22already closed it off , said goodbye ,

4:24and now it's different . Because my

4:26memories meet what's on screen , and you

4:28know , editing can be ruthless : they cut

4:30something out that you loved , you know ,

4:32they shortened something , they gave you

4:34a double . I watch it like a fan , so I

4:38say , " Marysia , okay , damn , now it's a

4:40weak double , okay , now they cut it , so

4:42I'm really going through it , and my

4:44second viewing is normal , but it's a

4:46closure of the process , but then I'm

4:48sad again

4:50that it's already after the premiere ,

4:52you know , although it's cool how it

4:53lives on in people , and then , you know ,

4:55someone watches it , and it comes back

4:57to you .

4:57Okay , I'll say it , even though I signed

4:59an NDA , which means I'm not allowed to

5:00talk , but I will say it because I was

5:02able to watch " The Doll , " which you can

5:04see in theaters at the end of September

5:05this year . And your character in " The

5:09Doll , " and the whole film in general ,

5:11and the whole idea , and its beauty , its

5:13uniqueness , its star-studded cast —

5:15it's ... it's been a long time since

5:17there's been such a beautiful Polish

5:20costume film . Congratulations on your

5:23role , congratulations on this adventure

5:25in general , because I understand it was

5:27a complete adventure . It

5:29was , it was truly extraordinary on many

5:31levels . On the one hand , this scale is

5:35truly amazing , it's a fantastic

5:37production in terms of budget

5:41and challenge . It's a privately funded

5:43film , which is a huge risk . After the

5:46pandemic , cinema is slowly recovering ,

5:48and it's already looking good , seeing

5:50the theaters full , but damn , it really

5:53is a risk . It was a risk , but as you

5:55say , it was spectacular on many levels .

5:58Well , those costumes were ... you know , I

6:00sometimes think , damn , I often don't

6:02work in the summer , I work in the

6:04winter , autumn , and early spring . When

6:06it's cold , pouring , there's fog , rain ,

6:08forest , it's just drizzle — that's when

6:10I work , and I always freeze , even

6:12though I love summer . And I often have

6:14to work so hard , that's how I feel , and

6:17I really like it that roles like this

6:19often come to me where you have to , you

6:21know , sweat so hard . And this film made

6:23me feel like a princess for a moment .

6:26You were made for these different roles

6:27, for this era . Your beauty , your

6:29etherealness , and at the same time ,

6:32your strength is

6:33extraordinary . You can just sit there

6:36under that screen and just sit there .

6:38It's

6:39great . I have , I have great pleasure in

6:42this , you know , and it's gosh , it

6:43becomes so much simpler and it's such a

6:45wild pleasure that in this set that you

6:47saw , that you're about to see , you know

6:49, in this costume that Tomek Osoliński

6:51simply sewed everything by hand . How

6:55much lace is there ?

6:56You know , we spent hours fitting at his

6:58place . And how much work was involved ?

7:00He sewed these dresses by hand . There's

7:04really not much left to act . When he

7:05squeezed me with that corset for the

7:07first time , which was — I've played in

7:09Corset many times before , but it was a

7:10different corset , a different type , one

7:12that kind of squeezes you higher , and I

7:13say , " But how am I supposed to breathe ?

7:15" He says , " You're going up , up . " You

7:17know , I was learning to breathe , and I

7:19kind of had this moment , like , " Oh , I

7:20think I'm going to faint , I think I'm

7:22going to faint , because it was really

7:23good , " but you know , it transports you

7:25there . You can't hunch over , you're

7:27just there in that dress , it's heavy ,

7:29you know , and so on . And besides , there

7:33was this company .

7:35Well , the company , meaning the cast ,

7:37meaning you're a moviegoer — viewer ,

7:39viewer — you'll have it . You think to

7:41yourself : this actress , this actor , it

7:43couldn't be more perfect . And then you

7:46have the next scene , and there's

7:47something extra , and then you have a

7:49scene where you only see this actor for

7:51six seconds and you think you don't

7:52recognize him , but it's the actor . I

7:55was laughing , I was talking about this

7:56project , I don't know if I should say

7:58this or not , but I was talking about

8:00this project , Dancing with the Stars ,

8:01or , you know , Dancing on Ice . No , not

8:03on Ice , but it

8:04was a bit of winter in this film ,

8:06but it was there . But it really

8:07happened . I had this day . I remember

8:11finding out that the next actors were

8:13joining the film , and I was super

8:15excited . But I remember this day of

8:19shooting , when we were shooting the

8:21ball , where we dance , and there were so

8:23many actors there , and I looked at the

8:25set to see

8:25who was coming ,

8:26who was coming . And there was Jan

8:28Englert , Krystyna Janda , Andrzej

8:30Seweryn , Borys Szyc , Marcin Dorociński

8:33,

8:33Maja Komorowska . I , Maja

8:35Komorowska , sat on the transport , and I

8:37said , " Oh my God ,

8:38what does it mean to be on the

8:39transport ? " I said , "

8:40I'm driving a car to the set . " That's

8:42how they say , " The transport is waiting

8:44for you , and you're on the transport . "

8:46And so , quite honestly , you know , there

8:48are moments when , damn , you're already

8:50in this cauldron of work , or you don't

8:52have the job , or I had this moment of

8:54total gratitude , when you go to the set

8:57and your name is written somewhere next

8:59to other names , and then on set , I

9:01wasn't really stressed , but it was so

9:03stressful that once , when I was playing

9:05the piano in front of Krystyna Janda ,

9:07Janemert , and all those people , I

9:09thought I was going to die from stress .

9:13But , oh , it was great . I was grateful ,

9:16and it was extraordinary . It was like

9:18everyone was just walking around , you

9:19know , floating on the ground .

9:21Well , you played the piano , because

9:23from what age do you play ?

9:24Well , from seven .

9:26My mom said

9:27never , ever .

9:28Go for it .

9:28No ,

9:29no ,

9:29no . I wanted to myself , when I was nine

9:32, I just stopped wanting to do it for a

9:34moment , a crisis .

9:35And she told me , " Mom , give it three

9:37months , "

9:39and then you can decide . I wanted to

9:42continue after those three months , and

9:44then I always wanted to be on my own ,

9:45and then I didn't want to be on my own

9:47when I went to acting .

9:48But did you also go to music school ?

9:50I went to the music academy , and then

9:51to the

9:52music academy , first .

9:53And what ? And then you decided you

9:55didn't .

9:55Towards the end , I was getting a little

9:57frustrated . First of all , the

9:59loneliness is the lonely

10:01loneliness of a pianist .

10:02You know , so many hours . It's a mess .

10:05You're alone and your instrument . No ,

10:06you know , I tried , I started smoking a

10:08little , because I say , I'll go out and

10:10talk to these people , but it wasn't

10:12very successful . I couldn't inhale , and

10:14I just , you know , I was desperately

10:16looking for contact , and I felt like I

10:18didn't want to live my life like that .

10:19But it was also strange . I was very

10:22stressed on stage , and to this day , the

10:24piano is very intimate for me . I'm

10:27alone at home , and if I have to play

10:29for someone , it means a lot to me . Did

10:31those scenes in the film cost you a lot

10:33too ? You know what , first of all , I'm a

10:35bit … well , I'm not fighting with

10:37myself , but now that I'm not playing

10:39anymore , I really miss it , and I miss

10:41that solitude . When I have too much

10:42stimulation , I play , because I always

10:44have an instrument at home . But I've

10:46often volunteered in various

10:47productions that if anything happens ,

10:49I'll play , because I want to keep it up

10:51, because it forces me to practice .

10:53That's what keeps me going . It's like

10:56skiing — the first descent is like this

10:58, and then it gets easier . And I've

11:01played in the theater a few times , on

11:03the piano , in various productions . I've

11:05acted in a few films there , but here ,

11:07when Maciek Kawalski first called me ,

11:08he said , " Listen , because there's a

11:10song to play here , the director . " Yes ,

11:12the puppet director ,

11:13and he said , " There's a song to play ,

11:15everyone would sing , and you too , but

11:17you would play . " And I said , " Great . "

11:19And I learned it . And then he called me

11:22and said : " Listen , we have a scene

11:24where there's a staged image , and would

11:26you play a revolutionary etude for it ?

11:28"

11:29Oh yes .

11:30And I said : " Maek , I haven't played

11:31that . It's easier for me to play pieces

11:33I used to play , because this reportage

11:34by Chopin , haven't you played it before

11:36?

11:36I haven't played Chopin's Shz , and I've

11:37played a lot of Chopin's Etiude , but I

11:39haven't played the Revolutionary Etude .

11:40And it was so great that I had to learn

11:42it . It's one of the most moving scenes

11:44in the film . Oh , great . And I had to

11:47learn it . And I returned to this world

11:50because I contacted my friend who gave

11:52me lessons at the music academy , where

11:54I was supposed to continue my studies ,

11:56and I went to the circular school and I

11:57simply went there , they were practicing

11:59for the Chopin competition back then ,

12:01and I was next door to these rooms .

12:04And there , you know , some things are

12:05clumsy , I don't do them like I used to ,

12:07but he taught me . And we did the

12:09Revolutionary Etude . Such a

12:11beautiful scene .

12:12And what does the piano smell like ? It

12:14has

12:15such a nice old smell . That smell of

12:17old , old things , which is sometimes

12:19unpleasant . And he It smells of

12:21earth .

12:22Earth , wood . An

12:24old piano .

12:25Mm .

12:26And a new one smells of

12:28new wood

12:29and varnish .

12:32Not varnish , but each one smells . Each

12:34one smells different . It's true . I like

12:37the old ones , and the new ones , and

12:39when I sometimes played the new ones , I

12:41feel like they're somehow delicate . You

12:44know , before this — like when you have ,

12:46I don't know , a new computer or a new ,

12:48you know , thing — that you try so hard

12:50to be , this Fordyfan is even more so ,

12:52and I'm very scent-oriented . So , well ,

12:54because I'm asking about those senses ,

12:56because I know perfectly well that you

12:58have , or did you have , a rule that , in

13:01addition to thinking about the

13:02character's personality , you also think

13:05about , for example , what they might

13:07smell like ?

13:08Yes . I always choose perfume for a role

13:10. Always for every different one .

13:12And what did Kazimiera Wąsowska smell

13:14like ? She

13:15smelled of

13:16patchouli . In my opinion , she smelled ,

13:19she smelled a bit of patchouli , but she

13:21also smelled of tobacco ,

13:23whiskey , and such . It was incense-like ,

13:26a bit strong , and had a strong perfume .

13:28I found this perfume in some off-brand

13:31perfumery . I told the salesman about it

13:34, about this character .

13:36Oh ,

13:36and he said , " Okay , let's look for it . "

13:39And I checked , and I caught it , but

13:40I've had roles where I've been looking

13:42for this scent for a very long time .

13:43And Kalina , what did she smell like ?

13:45Kalina Jędrusik ,

13:46Channel 5.

13:47Okay .

13:48Like Merlin Monroe .

13:49Yes , but I thought maybe it's cliché ,

13:51but I don't care at all because it's

13:52just mine . I carry this perfume in my

13:54purse , and it's actually happened to me

13:56on set . I'm like , " Jesus , I didn't

13:58spray it , I don't have to go back ,

13:59everyone . Jesus , Mary , there's still

14:02perfume . " " But I like it , and I don't

14:04smell my perfume on myself , but I smell

14:06it more on a character . And you know ,

14:08that's a terribly important thing in

14:10life in general . Scent , I'm terribly

14:12scent-oriented . I

14:13remember , I remember situations in life

14:15through scents and songs . Well , yes ,

14:17sometimes I don't even know what

14:18happened to us back then , but I

14:19remember , that's how I remember it ,

14:20but I also have this tendency to

14:22associate scents with bad situations ,

14:23and as soon as I smell that scent again

14:25, I feel bad .

14:26Yes .

14:26With good ones , with specific people , I

14:29immediately recognize who it is .

14:30So , do

14:31you smell different in summer than in

14:33winter ? Different , but it doesn't

14:38matter to me , you know what , not winter

14:40or winter or summer , but the time I'm

14:43in , some kind of my period , not the

14:45seasons ,

14:47no , no , it's stronger in winter and not

14:49in summer .

14:50I have this little red notebook here ,

14:53in which I wrote down during those two

14:54months what we weren't here . I made

14:57these , I didn't have time to prepare

14:59for our meeting , Excuse me , a large cup

15:01of questions to draw , and I wrote down

15:03various questions that are big

15:08and somehow define , you know , my

15:10guest's perspective on life , and for

15:13now , I have them up to number 22. Pick

15:15two . Nine .

15:20Nine . Are you afraid of getting old ? I

15:30fear my loved ones ' old age more than

15:32my own . I fear their illnesses , I fear

15:36their passing .

15:38Your grandparents passed away when you

15:39were taking the exams for the Human

15:41Film School , so I understand it's such

15:43a traumatic experience .

15:44Well , they weren't very old , they were

15:4764 or 65 years old .

15:49Mhm . But it was , it was difficult . It

15:52was very difficult , and I think that's

15:54how I chose acting in life , because I

15:56made these decisions at the moment when

15:58the people closest to me were passing

16:00away , and you know , I was kind of like ,

16:02" Okay , is that acting ? Music or acting

16:04? " Okay , acting , because I wanted to go

16:06back to the hospital , because they were

16:08very , very ... First , my grandmother had

16:12an aneurysm , and a month later , it

16:13turned out my grandfather had a brain

16:15tumor in the same place . They had

16:17always loved each other their entire

16:19lives , so the fact that they left like

16:21that was a bit like Romeo and Juliet ...

16:22Because when my grandmother woke up , he

16:24was sleeping after his surgery in the

16:26same hospital , one floor below .

16:27Everyone in the hospital joked that

16:29they had to give them a marital bed .

16:32And so they left , one after another ,

16:34and those exams and that first six

16:36months of drama school , my friends

16:37often said to me , " And you were so

16:39confident , like you didn't care . " I say

16:42, " Well , I kind of didn't care , "

16:43because , because I was there , because I

16:45spent my entire childhood with them ,

16:47and we lived together with my mother

16:49and grandparents in such a big house .

16:51So yes , so this , this has definitely

16:59been a very long-lasting wound for me ,

17:01and I felt such injustice , injustice

17:03that it's somehow like this , that I had

17:05such ... children , even though I was 21 ,

17:07I was so offended by the world for a

17:09while , and now it's like , good spirits

17:11and a lesson learned , but I'm afraid of

17:13it . I'm very afraid that , you know ,

17:20people I love will start passing away

17:22or getting sick . And about my old age ?

17:26M , I have a bit of FOMO , you know ? I

17:30like to experience it to the fullest ,

17:32and if I miss something , I say , " Damn ,

17:33I could have , I could have gone there ,

17:35I could have gone there , I could have

17:37ordered this , I could have ordered that

17:39in a restaurant , I could have done

17:41something . " And I'm afraid of some kind

17:43of regret , maybe the kind that I want

17:45to grab everything .

17:47And maybe I'll miss something , but I

17:48don't

17:51think that old age can be a very

17:53beautiful time at all , and that it's a

17:55choice , that I know people who Peseloza

17:57said .

17:59Yes , the PESEL number is specifically

18:01related to my eyesight , so the doctor

18:04told me

18:06that I didn't know that the PESEL

18:08number was so serious , you know , in

18:10general , yes , but if you see a young

18:12guy , I believe it's inside .

18:16Mhm . I have respect for old age . Let's

18:19move on . Well , about five more , so

18:22let's make it

18:24five . What do you owe the most and to

18:28whom ? Ugh , it just occurred to me , you

18:32know , I saw three images . Yes , I saw

18:37three . I owe , I owe to my dog , it may

18:53sound silly , but it's true , yea , such a

18:56lesson in closeness , responsibility ,

18:58and selfless love , putting myself in my

19:01pocket , my needs , just being there for

19:03the other person , being there for me

19:06when I was at my worst . Yes , she taught

19:16me tenderness and gave me a lot , when I

19:19was the loneliest , I kind of think she

19:21also motivated me to do things . M and

19:27that's definitely Tola , my dog , that's

19:29my mom . Mhm .

19:33Because I owe my life to her , because ,

19:35um , my life started off quite difficult

19:37. She had a very difficult birth . And

19:40so recently we even talked about it ,

19:43she experienced a near-death experience

19:45, and it was really powerful

19:47during labor ,

19:47right ? And after the birth , I thought

19:51to myself that it took me a long time

19:53to integrate it , how grateful I am for

19:55that , but also for what she taught me .

19:59And I often think about it , people

20:01today resent their parents . I have a

20:05bit too , but I still have more love and

20:07gratitude for that , and I'm grateful

20:09that I fell in love with myself at that

20:12point in my life , or at least liked

20:14myself , and that I got through those

20:16moments in life when you say , " No , I

20:18can't do it without a hitch . " Well , I

20:21just can't do it , I've done it many

20:23times , but I can't do it now . I just

20:25had enough , stopped ,

20:27and I did it . And I wouldn't say I was

20:30grateful a few years ago , but now I can

20:32. Those are the three . I gave up the

20:34dog before my mom . History and whatever

20:38, and the media , will judge us .

20:42Listen , you have some beautiful

20:44questions .

20:47I wrote them down when you were feeling

20:49down .

20:50Yes .

20:52And what about the first one ? Please .

20:54And we ran out of tissues . I knew this

20:56would happen . I came here , listen ,

20:57before we started recording , I crushed

20:59the box that had no tissues in it

21:01because they were used up last season ,

21:03but tears are flowing from them too . So

21:04what ?

21:05Yes . Yes . Luckily , I have such big

21:08glasses now that ... Oh , thanks .

21:09Apparently , there was a second pack

21:11without a sponsor .

21:13And what about your first one ? It's

21:15over . Maria , you can't cry . There was

21:17one tissue . I'll

21:18hold on to it . Okay , I'll try to cry

21:21often , too .

21:23Often , too . I had a long time when I

21:25couldn't cry . Yes , but that's how it is

21:27. We , the tough ones , we've

21:31learned that you have to deal with what

21:33you just said . You think , you can't

21:36handle it anymore ,

21:37but you can .

21:38Well , you'll give again ,

21:40you'll give , but you can also choose

21:41not to , but in this ultimate situation ,

21:43you simply have to give , because you're

21:45alive , right ? And you simply

21:47wanted the first . Well . Well ,

21:49wait . That's the question . Who are you

21:53when no one is watching ? Because I was

21:55curious , you know , you said you wrote

21:57it at some point , as if it were the

21:58first , meaning that's where you started

22:00. I think

22:01it was important to me then , you know ,

22:03because I'm sorry , but I'll add that

22:06this judgment , this looking , this

22:09scrutiny , and we feel it because we're

22:13sensitive . We know it , even if no one

22:16tells you they're watching you . I feel

22:19it . I just feel like the skin on my

22:22back is burning .

22:23Like what ? Like

22:24if someone is physically watching me , I

22:26know it .

22:27Well , yes , yes ,

22:28no . And then I always have some kind of

22:30attitude .

22:31Masks , no ,

22:33but who am I when no one is watching ? I

22:38think , you know what , I'll tell you in

22:40a moment , but I also think that I've

22:42somehow learned to have this inner

22:44world so present that even when someone

22:46is watching , I try to come back to

22:48myself , that I can be on the outside ,

22:50that's my job too , but

22:53that I can play , you know , a scene ,

22:54that I have to be laughing and happy ,

22:56and on the inside I have to go through

22:58some kind of hell , and that's , you know

22:59, mine . I didn't exaggerate about the

23:01hell , maybe , but that's also how it is .

23:05Who am I ? I think I'm — gosh , I'm

23:08telling you , my first thought , straight

23:11away — that I'm a girl , that I'm here ,

23:17without makeup , in pajamas , I'm

23:23terrible to myself sometimes , and

23:25sometimes I get really self-pitying and

23:27fragile . And I think that moments when

23:39I can be with someone just as I am when

23:41no one is watching feel like some kind

23:43of victory . That it's some kind of

23:47privilege , right ? When you're so close

23:49to someone , for example , that you can

23:51be yourself .

23:52Yes . Well , I

23:54don't have that question in my little

23:55red dragon notebook . It's a dragon . But

24:00I look at you and think about how many

24:02times a day you hear how beautiful you

24:04are .

24:07Zero . Often ?

24:08How often ? What zero ? I'll call every

24:10day .

24:11Well , sometimes I hear a few , and

24:13sometimes I don't hear at all for a

24:15long time . And when you hear it , what

24:17do you think ?

24:21Thank you , if that's what you think .

24:24But you know what , I used to feel

24:26embarrassed . And I used to think , I'd

24:32heard so much , that it was some damn

24:34flaw or something that needed to be

24:36covered up , filled in . That someone

24:40thought it was a matter of taste , so if

24:45someone thought so , that's nice , but I

24:47felt I had to — I heard it several

24:49times in drama school .

24:51That you're beautiful ,

24:52right ? That you're just like that

24:54because

24:55someone judged you , right ? That someone

24:58judged you , that I heard it several

25:00times , that I have a pretty face and

25:02that I have to earn it with talent or

25:04hard work , and that I'd be a great

25:06actress if I ever got there . Someone

25:09was exaggerating . I think there are

25:12many , many more beautiful people than

25:14me , but now I'm really connecting it to

25:20the middle ground , you know ? And also ,

25:22I don't know , I'd rather admire someone

25:25other than myself . No , I can't be that

25:27self-absorbed either . Sometimes I'm

25:29like , " Oh , I look great , wow , I feel

25:31great . "

25:31Mhm .

25:32M. And I've heard a compliment like

25:34that when I was feeling really bad , and

25:36it happened to me , you know , someone

25:38dismissed me , because I've often heard

25:41that I'm not the right person , that

25:43it's bad here , that it's bad there ,

25:45that you know , it's a

25:46problem , that there . So , um , well , here

25:50we're delicately approaching that

25:52imposter syndrome I wanted to ask about

25:54, because , um , the more extraordinary ,

25:57talented , successful women I meet , the

25:59more often they return to the idea that

26:01they've either been through it , or are

26:04still going through it , or

26:07they thought they'd already shut it

26:08down , but then , at the least expected

26:10moment , it comes back and says , " Well ,

26:12well , well , show it to the world , show

26:14it to the world . " Besides that pretty

26:17face or that 50th Victory . Well , I'm

26:19exaggerating , but with the fifth one ,

26:21you have five .

26:22No , he was just telling me about that .

26:24I have one .

26:24Okay . Me too , you

26:26know , with one , we can breathe a sigh

26:28of relief , we don't have to prove

26:29anything .

26:30Listen , it's a fact . My dog is afraid

26:32of that Wiktor

26:32because he looks terrible .

26:34But listen , I take him , for example , to

26:36dust , he stands there somewhere , well ,

26:38not on top , but to wipe the dust and my

26:40dog runs away . I don't know why I said

26:42that , but

26:42we have him here somewhere . He's

26:44holding something up , right ?

26:45I also have a book .

26:46But we don't even know what he's

26:48holding up anymore , because he's

26:49physically hidden .

26:50Exactly , where is he ? I don't

26:52know .

26:52Okay , no , never mind .

26:54But he's definitely somewhere . But it's

26:56not that it's not about respect for the

26:58award , it's just that it's truly

27:00diabolical . I'm not surprised

27:02I received it in the parking lot .

27:04How come ?

27:06Because I simply didn't make it to the

27:08gala . Did

27:09you miss the gala ? And I was in

27:11rehearsals with Mrs. Krystyna Janda ,

27:13and it was that kind of television ,

27:15which Mrs. Krystyna Janda didn't like

27:17at the time .

27:19Oh , that was back then . And they just

27:21came to fulfill their promise .

27:22They came to fulfill their promise , to

27:24give it to me and record me , and it was

27:25like a parking lot . Well , that's how it

27:28was . But I really respect this award ,

27:30and

27:31your little dog is your best friend . I

27:33just don't respect an object that

27:34runs away . Yes , but I don't , I really

27:36respect it . Heavy , heavy ,

27:38heavy , heavy . Yes , yes , yes . Well , she

27:40keeps all sorts of things there . I

27:41think we were talking about awards .

27:42But wait , because we wanted to talk

27:43about imposter syndrome . I wanted to ,

27:45and I happened to be talking about

27:46Anita Werner . She was sitting here and

27:48we were talking about it .

27:49Anita Tom ,

27:51Anita was talking about how she tried

27:53to earn it , just like what you heard at

27:55drama school . Only , we reached the

27:59point where she realized she actually

28:00brought it on herself . Well , she didn't

28:03want to be , as she says , just a pretty

28:05face ,

28:07she wanted to prove she could do it ,

28:09that she was a journalist .

28:12I wonder if handsome guys have that .

28:15Tell me , answer this question .

28:17No ,

28:17no . As my mom says , a man gets up in

28:20the morning , parts his hair , and has a

28:22break , and we , uh ,

28:24want to work . But this is about why we

28:29ourselves — I mean , if it came to you

28:31from the outside , I understand that for

28:33a 20 - something girl , the opinion of

28:35some authority figure at film school

28:36can affect her self-image , her

28:38self-worth . And you know , we get it

28:42from the beginning , we get it in school

28:44, we used to go to church , I don't know

28:46, to religious education . Mmm .

28:48There too , there were those lectures ,

28:52those scoldings . And so you went

28:56through life feeling inadequate . And

29:00yet you are enough . You're

29:02just there because you are .

29:03Yes .

29:04And that's really enough .

29:05Gosh , you know , it was kind of obvious

29:07that there had to be some kind of

29:09education , right ? And you had this

29:11problem , of course , that besides that

29:13— well , there's the director's

29:14daughter — well , obviously , you can

29:16complain later . Because it started , I

29:19think for me , earlier , when I chose

29:21piano and music myself , but I really

29:22thought about it seriously from

29:24childhood and . And that musical

29:26education was , and probably is , — I

29:28don't know what it's like now , but you

29:30know , you come in , you're 7 years old ,

29:32you play a piece , and the professor

29:34says , " Well , cool , but this is bad ,

29:36this is bad , this is bad . " Come on

29:38Friday . " You come on Friday , she says ,

29:40" And now it's bad , it's bad . " If

29:43something's bad , you have to go on

29:45stage and present something , which is

29:47cool , but I also unlearned that in

29:48acting , to see the bad things , to see

29:50the good .

29:54And I saw that if someone tells me , "

29:56It's great , give me more , " I'll do more

29:58than if someone tells me , " Oh , right . "

30:00And going back to the professor , have

30:02you never heard this , this is good ,

30:04this is bad ?

30:05She was great . I did . But that's what

30:07education is all about . You know , you

30:09have 40 minutes of class , what needs to

30:11be improved , we have to , you know , but

30:14yeah . And then I definitely had that

30:17with my mom when I was already at drama

30:19school and I happened to hear it , and

30:21then at work it happened to me that oh ,

30:23it's my mom , you know , I got a role in

30:25the theater in my fourth year and I

30:27heard someone at school say it was

30:29because of my mom , and my mom never did

30:31anything in the theater back then , so

30:33it was like The excuse that I could

30:35work hard and sweat , and someone always

30:37said it .

30:39Mhm . But I think that , you know , people

30:42always have to find a reason why

30:43someone succeeded . And I know that now ,

30:46but I fell into it . I fell into being

30:49this Zosia , this self-made woman , to

30:51show that I could

30:52deliver on my own ,

30:53that I could deliver . And I think my

30:56mom was also upset at times , because I

30:58haven't worked with her for eight years

30:59now , and they still ask me how it was

31:01working with my mom

31:03after the last party ,

31:04after the party , it was eight years ago

31:06, I think , and we didn't work .

31:09But it's your decision not to work ,

31:11because

31:13for a few years she was mine , because I

31:15wanted to do things on my own and I

31:17wanted to make a name for myself and

31:18for myself , which was kind of funny ,

31:20because when I was , we were really

31:22starting out together .

31:23Well , it's true . My mom made her first

31:25film when I was 19.

31:27Mhm .

31:27And she made such a big film , the first

31:29one , when I was 23 , I was already in

31:32school , and And so on .

31:33Were these my daughters , the cows ? It

31:37was " My daughters , the cows , " and yes ,

31:39I played a small role in it , you know ,

31:41and I don't know if it helped me , but I

31:44felt at many moments that I didn't know

31:46... I heard a lot about the film at home

31:48afterward , but it was also difficult

31:50later on . You know , there are people

31:55who , I don't know , don't like it , or

31:56someone once rejected them at work or

31:58something , and I also had to pay all

32:00sorts of bills .

32:02But I went crazy to do things myself . I

32:05thought I could just swim without a

32:07barrier , you know , a triathlon , right ?

32:11And I could run and cycle , and I'm over

32:13it .

32:14And now the question is , do I feel like

32:16I've earned it a little bit , and it's

32:18terrible that I had to earn it in my

32:20own eyes ,

32:22or some other kind of ... I think I've

32:24also done a lot of work , that I feel

32:25like I don't have to earn it anymore ,

32:27but it was like , it was difficult . But

32:30then , you know , I heard so many times

32:32that , I don't know , some nonsense , that

32:34I slept with someone and that's why I

32:36got this role . Or that something , like

32:38so much , so much nonsense , that someone

32:42wise once told me , that you'll just

32:43walk all over people and prove you're

32:45not a camel . Sorry , it's not me , that's

32:47not why , that's why , you know , you

32:49won't do that .

32:50So I gave up , but I was in it . And I've

32:53had this syndrome since I was six .

32:55All the

32:55time . Mhm .

32:56Why ? It's much easier now , because I

32:59know I can do certain things , that it

33:01is , you know , but my profession is so

33:04subjective . Your bad , I don't even know

33:06, that's not the word , average role . I

33:09haven't seen one like that . I'm very ,

33:11very sorry . Maybe I'm in love with you

33:13because I tell you you're beautiful and

33:15that you act very well . So , it's

33:17so great .

33:18You can cross me out . I'm a

33:19little bit in love with you too . You

33:21see , that's the confession .

33:23Wow .

33:24But it's true .

33:24You know what , but

33:25you have some golden raspberry ? I mean ,

33:27it's not exactly that there are snakes

33:29in Poland .

33:29I have a little one , but I was

33:31nominated for an award once , I'm not

33:33sure .

33:33I did one comedy . No , I'm not sure , I

33:35don't remember , but I did the only

33:37romantic comedy of my life . You

33:39can slip up there .

33:41And listen , I don't regret it at all . I

33:43don't

33:43regret anything , not even something

33:44that didn't turn out well , I don't

33:46regret it .

33:46But which comedy was it ? I probably

33:48haven't seen it then .

33:49You haven't seen it , since I don't know

33:51anything about it . But , you know , but

33:53it's also true .

33:54Maybe it wasn't there , maybe you

33:55dreamed it .

33:56It was there ,

33:57it was there , and you didn't look very

33:59silly on the poster . I remembered it

34:01vividly . Come on , tell me ,

34:02we'll laugh too .

34:03Oh , it's not a sin .

34:04Oh Jesus .

34:05Can you feel it ?

34:06I can feel the title . But I'll tell you

34:08, I want to talk about it , I say it

34:09with a smile , but I also say it with

34:11the feeling that it was the first

34:12leading role I ever got and I learned a

34:14lot . I had to really shoulder the

34:17weight of the lead role and I played

34:19with great people and I really learned

34:21a lot , a huge amount from it , a huge

34:23amount and I'm super grateful for that ,

34:24but that's how it was . But what I don't

34:28know is that I know a lot of things , I

34:30already know that I don't know , I walk

34:32onto the set and I know how to do it so

34:33that , I don't know ,

34:35so that there's no need to

34:36invent a scene with the director and

34:38it's not embarrassing . Or that I often

34:40don't know , and often we're searching ,

34:42and I'm terrible because I won't let go

34:44and say whose face is mine . So , damn it

34:47, we're all going to sign up for it ,

34:50and we can't serve up some crap to the

34:52audience

34:54or think they're stupid because they're

34:56smart and sensitive . And that's how I

34:58always think about them , I always think

35:00about that viewer , but I often have the

35:02feeling that everyone will notice .

35:04Mhm . And then bad luck .

35:06Yes . For example , when I saw the film

35:08about Kalina for the first time , I had

35:10this feeling : " This is the end , this is

35:12the end , " and it

35:13was only the end . But I said , " I was

35:15completely frozen , shaking

35:16all over , I'm saying , " This is my end ,

35:27" I say , " A big role , the first and the

35:28last , and they'll just kill you . " How

35:29can you think of yourself like that ?

35:30But no , you don't do this , you're just

35:31kicking yourself . That's what I was

35:32like on Dancing with the Stars recently

35:32. Damn , you were great there , you

35:33danced , I watched it , I watched it . No ,

35:35but I didn't

35:35dance there , I performed there . And

35:36that's it . No , you danced there . Oh ,

35:38okay , great legs , absolutely fantastic .

35:39And you looked great . Really great . And

35:41you danced well . You often laugh at

35:43yourself , because I can already hear

35:44the 15th joke about you , and I really

35:46like that . Yes .

35:47And do you have people around you that

35:49make your stomach hurt from laughing ?

35:50Yes , I love it .

35:52And what do you think is more important

35:53in life ? Joy or peace ? I'll tell you ,

35:57I've been focusing on joy lately . And

35:59just a few years ago , I would have said

36:01peace , which I never thought I'd say I

36:03wanted peace . When I turned 30 , I was

36:05like , " I want peace . " I say , " Girl ,

36:07you're so damn young , " and you've

36:09gotten older . Oh no , connection , a real

36:15connection .

36:16But you know , in my opinion , peace

36:18comes from joy . Either through peace ,

36:20you can have pure joy , or joy leads you

36:22to peace . I've

36:23felt joy , but then there was a decline ,

36:25right ? For example , something a-a-but

36:27if peace is the foundation , I guess

36:29it's still joy . You're right . I love

36:31laughing ,

36:32so my stomach hurts .

36:33Well , that's what you were talking

36:35about earlier , that hunger for life ,

36:37for experience , for testing . Why is

36:39that ? It's not just curiosity . It's

36:41that little girl you mentioned inside

36:43you . She wants to play . I didn't

36:44understand it before . I don't

36:45understand it either . And I didn't play

36:47like that much as a child either .

36:48Well , well , well . We were old , weren't

36:50we ?

36:50Yes ,

36:51yes , yes .

36:53And that's a bit of a story , I think .

36:55Women . You're younger than me , but at a

36:58mature age , who understand , because

37:03maturity can be achieved earlier , who

37:05understand that we haven't had enough

37:07fun in life ,

37:10without obligations , without some , you

37:12know , gun , because of the chronicles we

37:14set for ourselves .

37:16Yes . I think that over the last , I

37:18don't know , a few years I've had more

37:21fun than when I was 22. I didn't work

37:23hard when I was 22. I was just in

37:25school too .

37:27But , for sure , but now I know how to do

37:29it . I already have that joy , and there

37:31really is joy . You're right . I think

37:33there's 51 % joy , 49 peace . Okay . And

37:37what are you like in love ?

37:43M , take on the figure of Mąsowska .

37:49Listen , I'm in love . You should ask

37:52those who love them and those who love

37:54me . Y , I feel , I really like giving .

38:00Mhm .

38:01And I'm learning to take . I really like

38:03giving and

38:05learning to take .

38:06And I'm learning to take , right ? And

38:07you know what ? Well , I think I

38:09don't need to learn anymore , I need to

38:11accept it . No , I know it now , but for a

38:13long time I had this feeling that if

38:15someone gave me something good , like ,

38:17you know , a relationship thing , I'd say

38:19, wait , I'd give you tea , you'd give me

38:21coffee .

38:21Three coffees ,

38:22three coffees , of course , and I'd kiss

38:24your hand . That's

38:25how I was .

38:26Mhm .

38:26My grandmother , I remember , had this

38:28thing where she gave everything to

38:29people , she took it all off , she gave ,

38:31you know . I think I'm sensitive , I

38:35guess .

38:37And I think I also

38:41take time .

38:42Well , you're generous . I guess .

38:46It's silly to say that about myself ,

38:47because , you know , I think about these

38:49people , right ? But yes , but the

38:53awareness of what they would say if

38:55asked , which I think you have , is what

38:57makes you know who you are . Well , I

39:01guess so . I guess so . Just like in love

39:04and in friendship . I very much

39:06Mhm .

39:08And it's some kind of untouchable thing

39:10, a space within me .

39:13Does someone like you have a wide

39:15circle of friends ?

39:17I have three friends since high school ,

39:19the same ones , the closest ones .

39:22Um , do

39:23you have different professions ?

39:24We have very different professions . One

39:27is a photographer , she's on maternity

39:29leave now , the other is a lawyer , and

39:31the third works in consulting .

39:33Mhm .

39:34And that's my grounding , you know ? It's

39:36my grounding . When I sometimes take one

39:39of them , for example , to an industry

39:40event or a premiere , I often like to go

39:42with them , and they say , " Jesus , you

39:44took me to the zoo again . What is this

39:46place ? What strange people ? " I say , "

39:49Listen , there I am too . " But they keep

39:53me very , very grounded , they keep me

39:55grounded , and they tell me the worst

39:58truths and the best things , and thanks

40:00to them , I got out of the worst

40:02situation in my life . Thanks to them , I

40:04was the only one who would have truly

40:06been lying on the sidewalk .

40:07What kind of situation was that ?

40:09You know , private things , but

40:11when it's private , it's love , right ?

40:13Well , love , yes , but also illnesses in

40:15the family , you know , grandparents , as

40:17if they were always with me ,

40:19and I know they were the only ones who

40:22lived abroad and knew she'd come across

40:24half of Europe to meet me , and I'd

40:26drive from Łódź , from school , at

40:28night , to come for my birthday . We just

40:30do it . But I also have a few , two very

40:34close friends in my profession , maybe

40:36even close friends , so it's not a large

40:39group . I trust very few people , so I'll

40:43tell you everything . I've been through

40:47a lot a few times , I've been through a

40:49lot with friendships once , to the max .

40:55So I wouldn't call them that , I don't

40:57know , five people , let's say , so many ,

41:01and few ,

41:02and many acquaintances , very like that ,

41:05you know , I love people , so yes , but

41:08friends , I

41:09can tell them everything , the worst

41:11things about myself

41:12and the best . And has anyone ever

41:14called you difficult ? Oh , I was

41:19laughing about that with my friend

41:21Sandra Drzymalska , about someone saying

41:23that about one of us or something , and

41:26Sandra says , " What , am I supposed to be

41:28easy ? " I say , " Well , we used to be easy

41:32, now we are . " You

41:33know , no , no , no . It's not exactly a

41:36pleasant thing to hear .

41:38And I think it's very pleasant .

41:39Demanding . It's very pleasant , but you

41:41know what ? Difficult . I think I might

41:45be treated that way , because I don't

41:47know , at work , I'm totally demanding of

41:52myself and others , but I won't miss a

41:54single scene , meaning that if it's good

41:56, it'll turn out poorly , okay , let's

41:58move on . And I think that might annoy

42:00people ,

42:01or that I really care about the result

42:03and the pace , and when I do get into

42:05something , I go all out , and I know

42:06that maybe it's my ADHD , but also that

42:08it might annoy people , because people

42:10have different experiences . But if

42:14someone says that , well , tough ,

42:16but I think it's a common mental

42:18shortcut . You know , instead of saying "

42:21demanding , " " limited , " "

42:25experienced , " "

42:26limited , " it might actually equate to "

42:28difficult " for some people . It's hard

42:31to use a catchphrase that's supposed to

42:32somehow put us in the spotlight , isn't

42:34it ? But I'll tell you completely

42:39honestly , a while ago I was doing a

42:41cover for a magazine and they , and I

42:42think the title came out in some issue :

42:44" I'd Rather Be Difficult Than Nothing .

42:49" And I was somehow

42:50afraid , hmm ,

42:51that it would be bad , something at all .

42:53Mhm . Gosh , I think to myself that I try

42:57very hard to respect people at work ,

42:59and that's true in life , that people

43:01are most important to me , that if I've

43:03been unpleasant to someone , I think I

43:05can apologize , I think . And if someone

43:07says it's difficult , but I remember

43:09that somehow it seems feminine to me .

43:11Yes , yes , yes . That's why I'm delving

43:13into it ,

43:13because I was there too ,

43:15that you know , maybe I could

43:16give you another adjective , you know ?

43:18Yes . Yes . Why difficult ? Because what ?

43:20What did I do to you ? No , where , where

43:22do I have , where do I have a flaw ? No ,

43:23because " difficult " means I'll just

43:25stand there and say no .

43:26Oh , no , that's also a complete sentence

43:28because it has a period at the end .

43:29Oh , I like that very much too .

43:31But , but you don't know , " difficult "

43:32and " rude , " " difficult " and " nasty , "

43:33that's something else .

43:34So " difficult " is difficult . "

43:36Difficult " means I

43:37can be difficult for someone . Well , yes

43:39and difficult .

43:40Let's imagine we're easy for everyone .

43:42Oh ,

43:42oh ,

43:44not cool ,

43:44right ?

43:45Because you come home and you're like , "

43:47Who am I ? "

43:48I said yes to everyone . Oh , well , oh

43:51well . No , that's a complete sentence . I

43:53think

43:54not , that's a complete sentence . I

43:55prefer that to " difficult , " but yes ,

43:57well , maybe I still have some problem

43:58with it , but yes , because I like , you

44:00know what , I like knowing that people

44:03feel important around me

44:06and respected and so on . I like it , I

44:08don't care about people , you know ,

44:10people I work with , or who I'm closer

44:12to , right ? So maybe that's the

44:14sentence that came to mind recently . I

44:20think I posted it on my Instagram , or I

44:22read it somewhere , or ... Anyway , it was

44:24a story about how people will forget

44:25what you said , people will forget what

44:27you did , but they'll never forget how

44:29you made them feel . Damn , I think I saw

44:35that in your post and took a screenshot

44:37. Good . Amen . And look how true it is .

44:43Very true .

44:44How true it is ! Because we , besides

44:48being able to rationally label and

44:49categorize every event , this feeling

44:51comes from a completely different place

44:53within us , and I think that's the most

44:55beautiful thing , because now , as I read

44:57these few sentences , I started

45:02remembering those encounters with

45:04someone . After all , you and I have so

45:06many different relationships , different

45:08encounters with each other . And I just

45:11had this reflection that maybe , I don't

45:13know , I wasn't impressed that this

45:15person was someone , but I remember how

45:17they made me feel .

45:18Because , you know , sometimes it's like

45:20that too , less and less often with me ,

45:22but I was trying so hard to be liked ,

45:24so this happened ,

45:25and now I have this , and I'm trying to

45:27get

45:28this person to like me , but I feel bad

45:30around this person . It's

45:34like we have a limited number of days

45:36and hours in our lives , right ? And why

45:38do I have this , if I feel bad , and once

45:40you totally know it .

45:41And remember what she said once ? Mary

45:43Strip .

45:43Yes . Yes .

45:45Yes , there is , there's also this

45:46ability to perceive reality . Mary said

45:49that when she was young , she would

45:51enter a room and be afraid , wondering

45:53who liked her .

45:54Yes .

45:54And now she comes in , looks around , and

45:57thinks , " Who do I like ? "

45:58Yes .

45:59And this is about our emotions again ,

46:01isn't it ? And about where we are in

46:02life today .

46:03Yes . Freedom is , no , but also simply

46:05being in touch with ourselves .

46:07Mmm . And what's the opposite of freedom

46:09? I guess it's coercion in the

46:17dictionary , or some kind of enslavement

46:18. I recently went to a Leszek Możdżar

46:21concert . He asked us this question .

46:24And everyone in the audience had a

46:25ready answer . No , exactly , slavery ,

46:29and he told us speed . Ladies and

46:31gentlemen ,

46:34we often say on set : " Rush will

46:36humiliate you . "

46:37Exactly .

46:38Please don't run here , please .

46:39Whenever I'm late somewhere , I say : "

46:41Okay , whatever , 4 minutes later ,

46:42because hurry , show me . "

46:44Yes , yes , yes . The writing really was

46:46on the wall .

46:47But that speed was nice , because he

46:49just explained to us that that's what

46:51life is all about : slowing down , right ?

46:53Well , slowing down .

46:55Are you slowing down ? I'm learning hard

46:57and I'm progressing slowly , but that's

47:01how I started , you know , I fell in love

47:03with yoga , which I despised . Right .

47:07Same on me .

47:08Were you joking about the ADHD thing ,

47:09or both ?

47:10I wasn't joking , I mean , I didn't have

47:11it , I haven't been diagnosed , but I do .

47:13Okay . Yes .

47:15Well , you could have despised it . I

47:17understand .

47:18But not anymore .

47:19Mhm . And I think I somehow understood

47:25that when you're speeding down the

47:26highway , you just don't see the details

47:28, right ? And when

47:31you slow down , you suddenly feel like , "

47:33Oh my gosh , there's someone here , and

47:35there's something here ,

47:36and I'm trying to slow down because I

47:38see that while I love fast pace , if

47:40there's too much of it , my brain gets

47:43crushed . " I wanted to briefly refer to

47:47the film you already mentioned , which

47:49will be at the Gdynia Film Festival , "

47:51Through the Wall , " where you also play

47:53in a wonderful duo , and it's such a

47:55true story , difficult , and generally

47:57shocking from today's perspective ,

47:59isn't it ? So that pair of characters is

48:04also wonderful there . You had a great

48:06time playing with my Crash .

48:08Listen , I have to disappoint you a bit ,

48:10because ... Okay , we'll cut that out . No ,

48:13I don't have to disappoint you , because

48:15, I don't know if everyone knows , the

48:18film " Through the Wall " tells the true

48:20story of two people , Wiesia and Jurek ,

48:22who were imprisoned for political

48:24reasons in the late 1940s . They came

48:27from good families , were sent to

48:29Rakowiecki Prison , and were put in

48:30cells next to each other , separated by

48:32a wall . And they started tapping each

48:34other's walruses , because everyone knew

48:36the walrus from their scouts back then .

48:38And they tapped , tapped , tapped , and

48:41fell in love , tapping with the walruses

48:43. Then they were transferred somewhere ,

48:45and it sounds unbelievable , but it was

48:47true . They ended up in opposite cells

48:49and started communicating with each

48:51other in light walruses . And finally ,

48:53after five years of not seeing each

48:55other , they were allowed to marry in

48:57prison and saw each other for the first

48:59time at the wedding . After that , she

49:02had to stay in prison for another six

49:04months . He got out , waited for her , she

49:07got out , and they were together for 60

49:09years , so it's an incredible story . And

49:14our film is told from the perspective

49:16of Jurek , and the viewer sees him when

49:18she sees him . So for me , it was the

49:22loneliest film I've ever made , because

49:24I was alone a lot .

49:26You're on screen all the time . He's on

49:28screen all the time , and I really

49:30wanted to see Kuba , and when , well ,

49:33this film is one big spoiler , I mean ,

49:35talking about him , but I don't think it

49:37spoils the fun . Because when I finally

49:41saw it and Wid saw it ,

49:42I heard at screenings , when we were

49:44watching , that people were like , " He's

49:47so beautiful and so , you know , he's a

49:49wonderful person , and what he gave me

49:51in that scene , and we only had a few

49:54scenes , but

49:55we shot it almost chronologically , and

49:57when I finally saw him , there wasn't

50:00much to act . And she goes through all

50:02sorts of very difficult things in a

50:03Stalinist prison . They want her to sign

50:06a contract , and even though she could

50:08be released sooner , for example , to him

50:10, she doesn't , and they release her

50:12after Stalin's death . Mhm .

50:14This is a very important film to me ,

50:16and it was a very important time for me

50:18. It's black and white . It's

50:20black and white .

50:20Because the director , uh , thought that

50:23Maciek Sobieszczański , that this story

50:25is so emotionally charged , that colors

50:27would spoil something .

50:29Mhm .

50:29And the cinematography in this film was

50:32done by Jola Dylewska , a wonderful

50:34cinematographer . I didn't see , or

50:35rather , I didn't have the pleasure of

50:37participating in , a film where every

50:39frame is a painting . Maybe a doll , but

50:43I think the black and white really

50:44worked well here .

50:47And where were those cells ?

50:49We shot in real prisons .

50:51Oh my .

50:51Yes . There was nothing on the

50:53production floor , so that

50:55makes a difference for you as an

50:56actress too .

50:57You know what , at the beginning I was

51:00there , I learned the walrus , and also

51:02before the shoot , you know , me and my

51:05ADHD , my speed , and suddenly , you know ,

51:07meditation isn't alone . So I went away

51:11for a week before filming with my dog

51:13and learned the walrus and didn't talk

51:15to anyone . And at first , when I entered

51:18that prison for the first time , I

51:20repressed it . I mean , I was afraid to

51:22lie down there . I was like , yeah , and

51:24it was a prison that hadn't been in

51:26operation for two years , so they were

51:27still there , there was a person there .

51:29And where did you do that ?

51:30In Zabrze ,

51:31Mhm . , and later in the Modlin Fortress

51:33as well . So I wanted to escape from

51:36that place and tried to go into

51:38internal exile , but I had to get into

51:40it quickly . And it was an extraordinary

51:43adventure for me . You know what , it was

51:45therapy . This film was therapy for me

51:47because I was

51:48alone with my thoughts for so long . I'd

51:51never been so close to a camera . I was

51:54lying on a bunk and my boyfriend was

51:56lying between my legs . We were just

51:59touching half of our bodies , and the

52:00camera was right there .

52:02And ,

52:04um , so it was total exposure , but it

52:06also did me a lot of good , because it's

52:09about love , and it's so striking that

52:13somewhere in the end , the other person ,

52:15you know , can save you . So , I really ,

52:18really took it . I'm really looking

52:20forward to this premiere , and

52:22first the film will be in Gdynia . Yes ,

52:24first it will be in Gdynia .

52:25And when will it premiere ? In cinemas ?

52:27Early next year , but I hope there will

52:29be special screenings , and for me

52:31personally , it's great .

52:33A lot of preparation , very difficult

52:36preparation . You won't

52:37say it , but I think there might be some

52:39kind of award there , right ?

52:41And you know , it varies .

52:43Listen , after the award in Gdynia ,

52:45about mine , which I received a few

52:47years ago , I didn't work for a year , so

52:50that's how it really turned out .

52:52But is it a curse or what ?

52:53I don't know . Well , that's how it was .

52:55I mean , I was finishing some filming ,

52:57and then it really happened that I did

52:59theater , I was happy to do theater , but

53:02I did a play , but it was , you know , or

53:04I kept getting the same roles as after

53:06the offer , like Kalina , and I said , " No

53:08, you have to take a risk , damn , I have

53:10to try something different here now ,

53:12because I'm not interested in doing the

53:14same thing all the time , just to

53:16develop myself . " And for example , this

53:19casting director called me and said , "

53:21Listen , are you still going to castings

53:23? " I said , " Are you kidding me ? I'm

53:25making soup . I haven't been anywhere

53:28for two months . " Can you invite me ? " So

53:30I don't know . Actors often say that

53:33there's a curse afterward .

53:34And here I don't know . It's very

53:36important to me , you'll

53:37start the year there , right ?

53:38And then it's back to normal . Now I'm

53:41taking breaks , just for hygiene reasons

53:43, but it's very important to me that

53:45people see it , and I really want to

53:47talk about this film , because it's also

53:49a model of love that simply doesn't

53:50exist anymore , right ? That we live in

53:56times of emotions that are , I don't

53:58know how to put it , either at your

53:59fingertips in some app , or to be

54:01replaced , to be finished . There's no

54:05such thing as a repair . We don't want

54:08to go through difficult moments . We

54:12just like the next one , the next one .

54:15I wonder if it's true because it's , you

54:17know ,

54:17don't tell it like it is , because

54:19that's how it is now , that's how it is

54:20now , that these are the times when we

54:22don't send things in for repairs , we

54:24buy new ones .

54:25Or maybe these are the times when after

54:2789 repairs , you know you just can't do

54:2990 ? No matter what . I think it's

54:32Damn , there are

54:33two schools , you know , the Falenica

54:35school and the Hole school . It just

54:37seems to me that there are , you know ,

54:39it's not black and white . I mean , what

54:41you're saying is black . And what's

54:43white is that you'll stick with

54:45something at all costs that — I don't

54:47know — harms you , hurts you , you feel

54:48it hurts the people around you , you

54:50feel that you know that just — I don't

54:52know — something isn't working , or that

54:54there's some , I don't know , friendship

54:56that's harming you , or you can't give

54:58someone what you'd like best , as if . So

55:01there's some kind of permission to say ,

55:03you know , our grandparents didn't

55:05usually divorce , or they did divorce ,

55:07but rarely , or they divorced mentally .

55:09They simply lived under the same roof ,

55:11but the relationship was nonexistent .

55:13Yes . And that's how it was . People

55:15probably changed their life plans less

55:17often , not that they worked somewhere

55:19and then said , " I'll go to college . "

55:20But there were also economic reasons ,

55:22you know ?

55:23Yes , but it seems to me that it's an

55:24admission of a mistake . That there's

55:26much greater acceptance today , right ?

55:28But there's definitely another one too .

55:30Mhm , you know , I've never had Tinder

55:32Next , but I'll give you a

55:34rundown of people . Someone once said

55:36about Tinder .

55:37Oh my , it hurts . But you know what , I

55:40don't know . I'm not exactly a person

55:45who gives up easily , and I'm like , oh

55:47my , I'll try again and do one more rep

55:49at the gym . My friends just recently

55:53summed me up because they were laughing

55:55at me for being a Taurus , and oh my , I

55:57almost did too .

55:58Yes . And now they say there's this

56:01narrative about so-called red flags in

56:03relationships . I don't

56:05know , that everything is a red flag .

56:07Yes . And a red flag . And they said to

56:10me : " Well , it's no wonder you don't see

56:12a bull in the arena for a red flag . "

56:14Well , yes , of course it's a difficult

56:16task . Give me

56:17more red flags , red zryjka . It

56:21just sees and then everything burns ,

56:23but it's just a joke , so I'm tired of

56:25all these things . You know , analyses ,

56:28definitions ,

56:29right ? Because there are also an awful

56:31lot of experts on everything . I'm

56:33also working on a project like this

56:35right now , and I'm delving into these

56:36topics a lot , you know , about

56:38red flags

56:40in general , well , I'd say women's

56:42psychology , and that we're

56:43over-therapeutic , and that we're , you

56:45know , I think we're over-analyzed like

56:48someone else . It's great that we're

56:49working on ourselves , but sometimes ,

56:51you know , it blows your mind , doesn't

56:53it ? That this is a person who

56:54definitely has this disorder , or she

56:55has , you know , it's just like that .

56:57Everyone has some kind of etiquette ,

56:58and on the other hand , to know

56:59absolutely nothing , to do absolutely

57:01nothing with themselves . It's also

57:02pointless , some kind of compromise . The

57:04golden mean , your

57:05whole life . The golden mean ,

57:07maybe someone will find it someday .

57:09What was your first thought today after

57:11waking up ?

57:15Today after waking up , my first thought

57:17was that I have to walk the dog and

57:19that I have to really try . Because I'm

57:23going to Magda's , because I just have

57:25to get dressed somehow , because I

57:26didn't prepare anything , and I had this

57:28thought .

57:29Oh .

57:30And I went to bed with you yesterday ,

57:32to sleep with you this morning .

57:33Really ? Why ?

57:34Well , I was reading something , watching

57:37something , it was like , " I don't think

57:39so . " That's

57:39good , I don't think so .

57:41But then I had a second thought . Oh my ,

57:42we overslept for school , so you know . I

57:45also had a dog , so it's like this , but

57:47I like this question , because we're

57:49also attentive to it , or not to it .

57:52I'm more and more in a hurry today ,

57:54because I set myself goals to go for a

57:56run ,

57:58so I went with the dog , but I

58:01wake up like this more and more often .

58:03And I like waking up with this , I don't

58:05know how , or is it like this , that when

58:06you have a lot of work , or you travel ,

58:08you don't know where you are at the

58:09beginning . I don't like it very much . I

58:11don't

58:12have it because I don't travel that

58:13much . I hate it , but I do it with a

58:15smile more and more often . Totally with

58:17a smile .

58:18But it was Jakub Józef Orliński who

58:20told me yesterday that he once caused a

58:22commotion at a hotel because he said

58:24his card wasn't working for his room .

58:27No , because they said , " Well , we're

58:29sorry . " And it

58:30wasn't that card .

58:31And that was after There was just this

58:33card , but not this room , because he

58:34remembered that he lived there , I don't

58:36know , 317 , and he was already in

58:37another hotel and already had 7. I did

58:39it at home , banging on the door of a

58:40neighbor , one floor down . And he opened

58:42it nicely recently . I didn't

58:44run away . I

58:46ran away .

58:46And why are you like this ?

58:48No , because , you know , I was struggling

58:50with the door and something happened .

58:52And I was in a hurry and it turned out

58:53that I

58:54understand . But why did you go there ? I

58:56don't know . I was , you know , lost in

58:58thought . Just lost in thought . I was

59:01trying to get in . And this isn't my

59:02floor and I was looking at something

59:04strange , just like the smell . I came

59:05back . I say , this isn't my apartment's

59:08scent . Well . Okay ,

59:10so in the end , what does success smell

59:12like ? Maria Dębska's success . What

59:14does it smell like ?

59:14But what kind of success ? You know ,

59:19you're a good , calm breakfast , coffee .

59:24Yes , it smells like that . Or the sea .

59:26Oh , I like it too .

59:28Success for me is , you know , going and

59:30stopping thinking . I had such Vacation

59:32lately . I really disconnected ,

59:34I left my phone .

59:35Mhm .

59:35And that was ...

59:36And which one do you choose ? Warm or

59:38Baltic ?

59:39Like , warm .

59:41Warm .

59:42Mhm . Saj , I wanted to thank you so much

59:46for being here , because you're

59:47beautiful , because you're smart ,

59:49because you're phenomenal ,

59:53because you're talented , because you're

59:55human , because you're fragile . It's

59:58wonderful .

59:58Thank you so much . It's great to meet

1:00:00you .

1:00:00Sorry , but I'll be writing these text

1:00:02messages to you

1:00:03on this one . Write . I'll reply to you

1:00:05too . It's great that you can be

1:00:06yourself with me . Well , well , yes .

1:00:08Oh no ,

1:00:11but that's it , I

1:00:12don't have the strength for this

1:00:14anymore . I don't have the strength .

1:00:15Thank you so much again , and I'm

1:00:17keeping my fingers crossed for all your

1:00:18projects , premieres , what I'm thanking

1:00:20you

1:00:20now , what I'm about to do , because

1:00:22thank you .