COMMENT NE PLUS JAMAIS MANQUER DE MOTIVATION | Simon Sinek (français)

0:00No one is capable of offering you a

0:02reason for being . It is inside you ,

0:04just waiting to be discovered . On one

0:06side , there is the hedonistic camp that

0:08says , " We want happiness here and now ,

0:10and never mind the meaning because

0:12we’re all going to die anyway . " And

0:14on the other side , there are those who

0:15say , " No , no , the long term , the

0:17mission . " And the answer , once again ,

0:18is that it’s both . How do you know

0:20when it's time to give up ? And some

0:23have this false idea that perseverance

0:25and what shapes us is never giving up .

0:28That's stupid . It’s exactly as stupid

0:31as saying you should give up as soon as

0:33things get difficult . In both cases ,

0:35it’s the wrong approach . My criterion

0:37is really simple . Is the sacrifice

0:40worth it ? If the sacrifice is worth it

0:43because there is a greater goal you are

0:45seeking to reach , a bigger reason — not

0:47even a goal , but a deeper reason you

0:49are aiming for . Then you had better

0:52show some perseverance and keep moving

0:53forward . In today's voiceover , Simon

0:58Sinek explains to us , with

0:59disconcerting precision , the difference

1:01between exhausting yourself for a goal

1:03or a dream that has lost its flavor ,

1:05and persevering for a mission that

1:07transcends us , that serves a cause much

1:09greater than ourselves , and for which

1:11we would be right to keep striving to

1:13make a reality . And to help you find

1:15your mission , your reason for being , in

1:18case you feel lost right now , I have

1:19prepared a field manual associated with

1:21this video with a writing workshop to

1:23finally put your finger on your life's

1:25mission . This document is free and you

1:28can download it by clicking on the

1:29first link in the description or the

1:31pinned comment . With that , enjoy the

1:34video . Do you think we are going

1:50through a real crisis of meaning right

1:51now ? Honestly , I think it's obvious . I

1:55even find the fact that my profession

1:56exists to be embarrassing . No one

1:58should need what I do . Yes , I think

2:00that in general , people recognize it .

2:03You can't claim it's unprecedented , but

2:04today people are more open to saying ,

2:06to talking about what they are missing

2:08and what they desire . That said , what

2:10is certain is that we have seen the

2:12world of work change over the last few

2:14decades . We have all seen church

2:16attendance collapse over the last few

2:18decades . We have also seen a rise in

2:22rates of loneliness , anxiety ,

2:24depression , and then there has been

2:26this explosion of events like spiritual

2:28retreats , quests for meaning , and so on

2:30. But so yes , yes , I think it's safe to

2:33say that yes , yes , that is the case .

2:36What are the areas that have

2:38disappeared ? You mentioned work , church

2:40, community . Do you mean that these are

2:43things that 50 years ago , 100 years ago

2:44, were much more present than they are

2:46today ? Well , what we notice is that

2:49before , people found meaning in their

2:52lives at church . But there were also

2:55bowling clubs and , you know ,

2:57extracurricular activities where people

3:00built their circle of friends . People

3:03socialized with their neighbors , and

3:05work was just the place where you went

3:07to earn a living . Work was not intended

3:10to be the core of our entire existence .

3:12And as all of that faded away , we put

3:14more and more pressure on work to

3:16replace everything else . So , today ,

3:18people expect their work to give them

3:20meaning , a sense of belonging , and a

3:23social life . And today , we even add

3:25that the job must be in line with their

3:27political views . And so , for better or

3:29for worse , there is huge pressure on

3:31the world of work and on leaders to

3:33manage to offer all of that . And people

3:36leave their jobs because they don't get

3:38those things . But in the past , that

3:41simply didn't exist . And I think we are

3:44doing exactly the same thing in our

3:46relationships . There is a correlation ,

3:48which is that before , you had your

3:50friends , you had your wife or your

3:52girlfriend , your boyfriend , and you

3:54didn't expect your partner , your

3:55romantic partner , to provide you with

3:57absolutely everything . My pillar , be my

4:01best friend , be my lover , be , you know ,

4:03my balance , or all of that at once . And

4:06yet today , we demand of a single person

4:08that they be everything we need , and

4:10with disproportionate pressure , just

4:12like on our work , to provide us with

4:15absolutely everything , too , and so we

4:17doom them both to fail . So I think all

4:20these strange mixtures contribute to

4:23this feeling of being lost and

4:24searching . How do people who have lost

4:28fulfillment in their " why " manage this

4:31transition ? Very simple , it was never

4:33their true " why " to begin with . People

4:35confuse their goals with their reason

4:37for being . And it happens all the time .

4:39We see it all the time in company

4:41visions . Being the best , that's not a

4:43vision , it's a goal . And measured by

4:45what criteria , by the way ? Ones you set

4:47yourself . And you know , we see this

5:00very often among those who succeed at

5:01the highest level . So , let's take some

5:03extreme examples , okay ? Olympic

5:05athletes are just an extreme example .

5:07They are very goal-oriented and they

5:10confuse their goal with their purpose .

5:13My goal is to win the Olympic Games . I

5:15love the way they say it . There is no

5:17medal for winning " the Games , " but

5:18that's how they all talk . I am going to

5:20win the Olympics . And their entire

5:23existence is totally organized around

5:26that goal . Every relationship : are you

5:28useful to me ? Every sacrifice . I missed

5:31family parties , I missed birthdays , I

5:33missed all that because I am

5:35disciplined . And let's assume they

5:37succeed , let's grant them the victory .

5:39They win the Olympic gold medal and

5:41then afterwards they get older , they

5:42stop competing , their body is broken ,

5:44whatever . And now what ? And now what ?

5:49You know , Andre Agassi becomes the most

5:50legendary tennis player of all time .

5:52What happened right after he retired ?

5:55Depression . Michael Phelps becomes the

5:56most decorated Olympic swimmer of all

5:58time . What happens right after he

5:59retires ? Depression . We confuse goal

6:03and purpose . A goal is one of the ways ,

6:06even if it is extreme , one of the ways

6:09by which we seek to advance our purpose

6:11. But a purpose , that is immutable . A

6:15purpose never changes . Your purpose is

6:18completely formed when you reach your

6:20mid to late teens . Who you are is

6:22totally formed by the end of your teens

6:25and the rest of your existence consists

6:27of finding how to embody that cause .

6:36It's very common , especially among

6:38those who succeed , that they confuse

6:40their work with their purpose , with

6:42their identity . We see these brilliant

6:45people who are literally afraid of not

6:47working because they ask themselves ,

6:49who will I become if I no longer do

6:51this ? But they have forgotten that what

6:53they do is just one of the ways to

6:55bring their purpose to life . So my why ,

6:58my purpose , is not to write books . My

7:02why is not to reach a goal or to have a

7:04successful talk over which I have no

7:06control . My purpose is to inspire

7:08people to do what inspires them . That's

7:11why I get up in the morning and it's

7:13permanent . for the rest of my life

7:14until I die . Now , what are the

7:19opportunities for me to do that ? Some

7:21are big , some are small , some are risky

7:22, others are not . And I can have goals

7:25that motivate me along the way . But if

7:28I choose a goal just for the money or

7:30just for the achievement or whatever ,

7:32chances are the stress will be much

7:33greater than the reward because it

7:35doesn't fuel my purpose . And so the

7:38process to reveal your purpose is a

7:40very rational process . Everyone is

7:42capable of experiencing it . and anyone

7:44can do it . Personally , I discovered my

7:47purpose during a period of crisis . I

7:49had lost my passion for my work . I had

7:52a small business and I didn't want to

7:53go to work anymore . I had completely

7:55checked out and I was terribly ashamed

7:57because on the surface , everything

7:59looked fine . I mean , I had my own

8:01business , I had good clients , like , " Oh

8:03, Simon doesn't want to go to work , you

8:05know . " So , I kept it all to myself ,

8:07which is a stupid thing to do . It turns

8:12out that when you are in a dark place

8:14and you don't tell anyone , it gets even

8:15darker . And it didn't change until the

8:19day a friend confronted me by saying , "

8:21Something's wrong and you're not

8:22telling me . " So , I confessed everything

8:25and it took a huge weight off my

8:27shoulders because now I no longer felt

8:29alone in my struggle . That's what

8:31happened to me because when you're lost

8:32and you keep it to yourself , you stay

8:34lost . And it's just that we are human

8:37beings . We need each other . And so when

8:39you're lost and you simply tell someone

8:41" I am lost " and they are willing to

8:43just accompany you so you're no longer

8:45alone , even if the path remains yours .

8:49After that , your energy , your focus ,

8:52the clarity you get , all of that

8:54increases exponentially . And that's

8:57what happened to me . And now , I finally

8:59had the energy to find the problem and

9:01rediscover a meaning to my life . So , I

9:03put my finger on this discovery , this

9:05thing we call the why , and more

9:07importantly than finding my own . I

9:09understood how to help others find

9:10theirs . so I started by helping my

9:15friends and my friends asked me to help

9:17their own friends and very quickly ,

9:19people wanted to hear me talk about it ,

9:21then I had the opportunity to write

9:22about it . So , there is a whole process

9:24to finding your why , and I am proud to

9:26contribute to it . I am proud to

9:28contribute to helping people find their

9:30why . It completely changed my life .

9:46Does that mean that going through a

9:50catastrophe or a very dark moment is ,

9:53in retrospect , a gift in a way ?

9:56Everyone I've spoken to who learned an

9:58important lesson from a catastrophe or

10:00a difficult moment is secretly grateful

10:02for it . No one hopes to go through

10:03something like that again . It's

10:04horrible , but we are glad it happened .

10:09I believe there are always lessons to

10:10be learned from everything that goes

10:11wrong in our lives . And the real

10:14question is , are we willing to learn

10:16those lessons ? And for those who are ,

10:19for those who are simply going through

10:20a horrible ordeal . And by the way ,

10:22everything is relative . A simple

10:23breakup can be enough . It doesn't have

10:26to be something that the world judges

10:27as catastrophic . Something like , you

10:29know , finding yourself out of a job . I

10:31mean anything that puts us to the test

10:33emotionally . The question we have to

10:35ask ourselves is , what is this teaching

10:37me ? And part of that is responsibility ,

10:40you know . And I believe that if we want

10:43to talk about finding our purpose , we

10:46must start by taking responsibility for

10:49our lives . And what I mean by that is

10:53that no one can offer you a purpose . It

10:56is inside you and it is just waiting to

10:58be discovered . But at the same time ,

11:00for everything that happens to us in

11:01life , we must ask , " Okay , to what

11:03extent did I contribute to this ? " How

11:05am I responding to this ? How can I make

11:07this bad situation a little better ?

11:08What did I do to make this situation

11:10happen ? And if it was just bad luck , we

11:13can all easily slip into a victim

11:16mentality . And that has its purpose . If

11:19something bad happens , it feels good to

11:21think the whole world hates us , but at

11:23some point , we must take responsibility

11:26for the life we lead now . We cannot

11:28change anything about the past . But

11:31what we can do is be fully present and

11:33say , " Well , if this happened , how can I

11:35grow from it ? " And that is exactly what

11:39responsibility is . That is what it is .

11:41>> What distinguishes people who go

11:43through a difficult experience and

11:45learn from it ? Those who in hindsight

11:47say " I don't want to go through that

11:49again , but I'm glad it happened " from

11:51those who go through a difficult trial

11:53without any growth happening afterwards

11:55. I really believe it's the fact of

11:57having people by our side so we don't

11:58feel alone while we go through it . I

12:00have already talked about this in the

12:02past . You know , the mistake we make

12:04between friends is imagining that we

12:06have to fix things or give advice to

12:08people going through something . You

12:11know , someone is going through

12:12something horrible , a breakup , they got

12:14fired , whatever , something that went

12:16horribly wrong and we , with lots of

12:18good intentions , say " Oh , you should do

12:20this " or " Why don't you look for that ? "

12:23You just have to do this . You know , a

12:27friend of mine who had a job at a

12:29company for almost his whole career got

12:32fired overnight and he hadn't seen it

12:34coming . And he fell into a deep

12:36depression . And most of the advice he

12:39received was " Well , just find another

12:41job " or " You know , success is the best

12:43revenge , you'll show them . " And uh uh

12:46and that advice came from good

12:48intentions , but it wasn't what he

12:51needed at all . He needed someone who

12:53was okay with sitting in the mud with

12:55him . And by pure chance , I was the

12:58first friend to come see him and say "

13:00Man , that must really hurt . " That's all

13:05I said to him , just that . It must

13:08really hurt . It's , it's really hard .

13:11And he said " Yeah . " And I told him , "

13:13Don't stress yourself out about finding

13:15a job . " " Sit down and take a breath . " I

13:17mean , " Yes , at some point , you'll have

13:19to , but not today . " " Take the time to

13:21grieve . " And just hearing that it's

13:30okay to feel something instead of

13:32action , action , action , action , which

13:34is our default reflex , especially in

13:35the United States and the West , " if

13:37you're not doing something , you're a

13:39failure , " you know . And all it takes is

13:42one friend to say to you : " I'm going to

13:44sit in the mud with you . " There is a

14:00paradox in being human . This is where

14:03Maslow and his pyramid of needs come in

14:04. Maslow was wrong . Maslow's pyramid ,

14:07you know , at the base of the triangle ,

14:10we find food and shelter . We first need

14:13to eat and find shelter . The third

14:15level is relationships , and at the very

14:16top of the pyramid , we have

14:18self-actualization . Except he's wrong ,

14:20because Maslow made the classic mistake

14:22of forgetting that there's a paradox in

14:24being a human being , a paradox present

14:26at every moment , every day : that we are

14:28both individuals and members of a group

14:30. Every day , we find ourselves facing

14:34choices , small or large , and we ask

14:35ourselves : do I put myself first by

14:37sacrificing the group , or do I put the

14:39group first by sacrificing myself ? And

14:41we will always be able to debate what

14:43should be done . The answer is that you

14:44are right in both cases and you are

14:45wrong in both cases . It's a paradox

14:47because we have to be ourselves and

14:50pursue our own reason for being . But we

14:53are also supposed to be social animals

14:54that contribute to society , to family ,

14:56to the team we are part of . And that is

14:58precisely where Maslow was wrong . He

15:00saw us as individuals . And it's true ,

15:03as an isolated individual on a desert

15:05island , yes , food and shelter take

15:07priority . You know , relationships ,

15:09we'll see about that later . But imagine

15:12living your whole life just to fulfill

15:14yourself . What loneliness ! Compared to

15:16a shared achievement , I have never

15:18heard of someone who committed suicide

15:20because they were hungry , but I have

15:22heard a lot about people who committed

15:24suicide because they were lonely . So

15:27that means that relationships as

15:28members of a group count as much as

15:30food and shelter if we consider

15:31ourselves as members of a group and not

15:33just as individuals . And deep down ,

15:35it's both . It's not a debate like " Do I

15:38put happiness before mission or mission

15:40before happiness ? " The answer is that

15:43it's both . And it creates this

15:49situation that is sometimes downright

15:52conflicting , but there are entire

15:53communities at both extremes . On one

15:56side , there is the hedonistic camp that

15:58says " We want happiness here and now ,

15:59and never mind the meaning because

16:01anyway , we're all going to die . " And on

16:03the other side , there are those who say

16:05" No , no , the long term , the mission . "

16:07And the answer , once again , is that

16:08it's both . And I think that's where

16:11we've gone wrong , and continue to do so

16:13in our lives . We've built binary ways

16:16of thinking , then we choose just one ,

16:18when in reality it's both . Sometimes it

16:25will be balanced , sometimes it will be

16:27unbalanced . And that leads to a second

16:29question , which is how do you know when

16:31you should quit ? And some have this

16:34false idea that perseverance , and what

16:36shapes us , is when we never give up .

16:39That's stupid . It's just as stupid as

16:42saying you should quit as soon as

16:44things get difficult . In both cases ,

16:46it's the wrong approach . My criteria is

16:48really simple . Is the sacrifice worth

16:51it ? If the sacrifice is worth it

16:53because there is a greater goal you are

16:56trying to reach , a bigger reason — not

16:57even a goal , a deeper reason — that you

17:00are aiming for . Then you had better

17:03show some perseverance and keep going .

17:05But if it's simply not worth it anymore

17:07, if you no longer feel like you're

17:08contributing to something bigger than

17:10yourself , then it's time to move on . If

17:21there is one thing everyone agrees on

17:22regarding emotions , it's that they are

17:24chaotic . Sometimes , they trigger at the

17:27wrong time for the wrong reasons .

17:28Sometimes , we feel an emotion that

17:30doesn't really fit the situation .

17:32Sometimes , we do too much . Sometimes ,

17:33we don't do enough . Sometimes , it's

17:35several emotions at the same time .

17:36Human beings are a mess . And that is

17:39also what makes life fun . It's as if we

17:42were given a big tangled ball of yarn

17:43and told , " There you go , your mission

17:45in life is to do your best to untangle

17:47all of this . " And there are those who

17:49go through life just letting it unravel

17:51. They walk around with the ball in

17:53their hands and say , " I don't even know

17:55where to start . It's too difficult ,

17:57it's an impossible knot . It's a real

17:59mess , it's unusable . " And then there

18:02are those who say , " Well , okay , it's a

18:05huge mess , but I'm going to start

18:07somewhere . " That end there looks

18:09promising . Ah , missed it . I'll try

18:12another way . And they spend their lives

18:14trying to untangle that ball . And as

18:15soon as you manage to loosen a tiny

18:17little bit , not only does it give you

18:19confidence to go further , but you

18:20become a source of inspiration for your

18:22friend . Wow ! You are truly a different

18:24version of the person I met years ago .

18:26Yeah , that's because I'm busy working

18:27on this tangled mess of a ball of yarn .

18:29And I can help you with yours if you

18:31want . It's surely not like mine , but I

18:32can show you what I do and maybe it'll

18:34work for you too . What would you say to

18:48someone who feels paralyzed by the fear

18:50of moving forward , who lacks confidence

18:52in their decision-making , who doesn't

18:53know if things will turn out well and

18:55is afraid to commit , who doesn't have

18:57that level of conviction they would

18:59need to really get moving ? Go help

19:02someone else who is paralyzed by the

19:03same fear . Don't worry , it's going to

19:05be okay . Just go help someone else who

19:08is struggling with the same thing , or

19:09nearly the same . And I'm not talking

19:12about creating some sort of

19:13self-sustaining victimhood circle . You

19:15see what I mean ? Let's not confuse

19:17helping someone with complaining just

19:20to feel better temporarily . We do that

19:22all the time , you know . We create these

19:24little echo chambers where we all

19:25reassure each other by comforting one

19:27another . Like , " Yeah , we don't care

19:29anyway , it's their fault . " No , no , not

19:31at all . That's not what we're talking

19:32about . No. It's really about helping

19:34someone get out of a rut . And the

19:37simplest way to do that , though it is

19:41also difficult , is to admit that you're

19:44struggling too . Not so someone comes to

19:48help you , but just to create a space

19:51where someone else can say " Me too ! " So

20:00I challenge people to find the courage

20:03to tell one of their friends , " I'm

20:06struggling . " I'm stuck , I'm confused ,

20:11I'm lost , I don't know what I want to

20:14do . And if they start trying to fix you

20:17, reply , " I don't need you to fix me .

20:19What I need is for you to just listen

20:21to me . " And I guarantee you , whether

20:24it's that person or another friend ,

20:26someone will say , " Me too . " And now ,

20:30you have a project . Now , you have the

20:33opportunity to be useful . Why don't we

20:37go through this together ? Let me do

20:38everything I can to support you , to

20:40help you get through this and find what

20:42you're looking for , and you'll find

20:43yourselves reading books , listening to

20:45podcasts , reading articles , not for

20:46yourselves . You'll find yourselves

20:48doing it for someone else . And that is

20:50the most fulfilling thing you can do .

20:52An act of service .