Full transcript
Why not "Please move"?
0:00Please move. That sounds kind of polite, right?
0:03Like when someone is standing in your way at the grocery store with
0:08a cart full of food, all you wanna do is just grab some yogurt real quick,
0:14but they're standing there looking at all the options,
0:18maybe reviewing a recipe on their phone and checking something off their list.
0:23But those words please move. They're not at all polite in English.
0:28And what about, excuse me, please move. Nope, it's still rude.
0:33In fact,
0:34I wouldn't even say that to my sister if she were on the metro and I
0:39wanted her to move over just a little bit so I could sit next to her.
0:43So why is this simple statement so rude in English?
0:47And what are the more polite alternatives that you can use for situations
0:51just like this in your daily life? The truth is those two words,
0:56they sound like a command. And even with the addition of the word,
1:01please,
1:02it still sounds demanding and pushy as if someone else's
1:07time schedule or needs are more important than your own.
1:12So whether you want someone to create space for you at a presentation where
1:17people are sitting elbow to elbow,
1:19or you just quickly want to get through a crowded space at the airport,
1:24the phrases English speakers actually use in these moments.
1:27Things like scoot over,
1:29squeeze past and slip by are not taught in most
1:34English courses. So that's exactly what we're going to do today. Now,
1:38there's one thing we need to know before we learn specific polite phrases.
From rude to polite
1:43To get someone to move over or create space,
1:46we have to understand how to shift a rude demand into a
1:51polite request.
1:53All we need for this are some small little words like just a bit
1:58and a little.
1:59These words make a huge difference in the tone of our request.
2:04When we combine them with words like modals,
2:07such as could and would along with, sorry, or excuse me,
2:11we have everything we need to appropriately soften the language as
2:16a result. An abrupt, rude, please move becomes, sorry,
2:21could you move over just a bit?
2:24You are going to hear these words again and again in requests that we share to
2:28get someone to move to indicate that you want to move past someone
2:34or to reach around someone like when you want to grab your coffee
2:39and leave quickly at a busy coffee shop.
2:42Before we get into the specific phrases today,
2:45I want to mention one important thing Today.
2:48You're going to walk away knowing exactly what to say in those moments.
2:53If you want that same confidence,
2:55knowing that you have the right words in any.
2:59Situation, I've got a free training for you.
3:01It's called Get the Confidence to Say What You Want in English.
3:05It's a free English fluency training that I've shared with more than 20,000
3:09people, and I'd love to share it with you as well.
3:12I'll be sure to share a link in the episode description below.
3:15And now let's start with our first common situation.
Ask someone to move
3:19You are somewhere crowded and you just need a little bit more space
3:24like in a movie theater on a city bus or in a waiting room at the
3:29doctor's office.
3:30Maybe someone is sitting or standing a little too close or they're
3:35simply taking up too much space in those moments.
3:39Here's what you could say. First,
3:41could you scoot over just a bit?
3:44This verb to scoot means to slide or wiggle your
3:49body a short distance.
3:51And we use this when we want someone to move just a few inches or
3:56centimeters,
3:57so there's just a bit more space for someone to sit down or
4:02slide by. Another word that we often use here is scooch.
4:06Could you scooch over just a bit? For example,
4:10on a crowded city bus, someone might say,
4:13would you mind scooching over just a bit so my mom can sit down?
4:18Or Do you mind moving over just a little?
4:21Would you mind moving over just a bit? And finally,
4:25could you slide down a bit?
4:27This one with the phrasal verb to slide down is always used for
4:32seated situations like people sitting on a bench in a waiting room or
4:37in a movie theater. I want you to pay attention to those examples. In each case,
4:42do you notice that we're using could or would in almost all the examples
4:47or we're using a polite alternative with do you mind?
4:52In each case, the request is polite and warm.
4:56To truly understand this, I wanna walk through a quick real life scenario.
5:00Imagine for a moment that you're on a subway during rush hour.
5:04Your stop is coming up next,
5:06but someone is standing right in front of you.
5:10And once those doors open, you need to get through those doors quickly.
5:15In this situation, you might say, excuse me, could you scoot over just a bit?
5:20My stop is next.
5:21Adding on a reason like so my mom can sit down or because my
5:26stop is next, contributes to the politeness of the request.
5:31You don't need to go into a lot of detail here. All you need is a quick,
5:35simple explanation. Now,
5:37sometimes the problem isn't that someone is too close. Instead,
5:41the problem is that they are completely blocking your path and you
Squeeze past someone
5:46need to get through.
5:47This happens all the time in busy places like a grocery store or
5:52airports,
5:53and it can feel totally awkward if you don't know what to say.
5:58So here's how to handle these situations smoothly. One, you could say,
6:03could I just squeeze past you?
6:06I love this expression to squeeze past.
6:09It means that you're trying to make your body as small as possible,
6:13like squeezing a balloon to flatten it so that it can fit
6:18through a small gap.
6:20I have to thank my niece for reminding me of this common English expression,
6:24which is particularly helpful when you want to politely move around someone
6:29as an alternative to this polite request. You could also say, sorry,
6:33I'm just gonna squeeze past you real quick. Now,
6:36for a more straightforward approach, you could say, excuse me,
6:40could I get by you? Or excuse me, could I just get through here?
6:45These two are especially useful when someone is blocking an entrance
6:50or an exit. And here's a couple more. Sorry,
6:54could I just get past you or do you mind if I slip past you
7:00with each of these? Your goal isn't to get in front of someone, instead,
7:05it's to move around them so that you can keep going on your way.
7:09So again,
7:10let's take a look at how we might use one of these in a real situation.
7:15Imagine you're getting ready to leave your apartment building and your neighbor
7:20is in the narrow hallway with a bunch of grocery bags and they're blocking
7:25your way,
7:26but you need to get through in that moment to encourage them to move slightly
7:31out of your way. You could say, excuse me, could I just squeeze past you?
7:35And now our last set of phrases is for when you need to reach past someone
Reach across someone
7:40to grab something. Maybe it's something on a shelf at the grocery store,
7:45or perhaps you're reaching for a door handle,
7:49or you want to get something that is across from you at the dinner table.
7:54Most of the time reaching across someone is considered a bit
7:58rude because it invades their personal space. On top of that,
8:03reaching your arm out on a crowded table, for example,
8:07could knock over a glass of water or a stack of documents.
8:11So it's usually more polite to ask someone to pass you what
8:16you need. For example,
8:18could you pass me the stapler or could you pass the salt and pepper?
8:22But sometimes reaching across or around someone is more
8:26practical.
8:27Maybe their hands are full of grocery bags or they're deeply focused on
8:32something else. So in those moments, here's what you could say first, sorry,
8:37could I just reach past you for a second? If, for example,
8:40there's something specific you want, you could add. Sorry,
8:45can I just reach past you for the salt and pepper,
8:48or do you mind if I reach across? Pardon me?
8:52Could I grab that real quick?
8:55You'll notice that these phrases often start with, sorry, rather than,
8:59excuse me, both work, but sorry,
9:02feels a bit more natural here because again,
9:05you're reaching into someone's personal space. That word, sorry,
9:09adds a little bit of extra warmth. In this situation.
9:13I want you to imagine that you're in a meeting room at work.
9:17Someone is sitting right next to the stack of handouts and you want
9:22to get one before the meeting starts on the table.
9:26They have their laptop and coffee spread all around them,
9:29and they're obviously very focused on something you don't want to interrupt.
9:34So in that moment, you could say, I'm so sorry.
9:37Could I just reach past you for a second? Or pardon me,
9:41could I just grab one of those handouts real quick?
9:44These moments on the subway, in the hallway,
9:48in the grocery store or in the meeting room,
9:50they don't have to feel stressful or awkward,
9:54and we certainly don't need to use rude, inappropriate demands.
9:59All you need is a quick, sorry, or excuse me,
10:03IM modal like could or would,
10:05and those small words such as just or a bit,
10:10using that language together is all it takes to transition from
10:15a rude demand into a polite request to get someone
10:20to move in the way that you need. As always,
10:23if you found today's lesson helpful to you,
10:25I would love for you to subscribe or follow wherever you're watching or
10:30listening from today. Thank you so much for joining me,
10:33and I look forward to next time.