Full transcript
0:00So, in this video, we're going to talk
0:01about why women who show initial high
0:03interest eventually ghost. This is a big
0:06thing that happens to a lot of guys. I
0:07find that more often than not, a man
0:10will be doing very well with women who
0:13he's not super interested in, but when
0:14it comes to the women that he's truly
0:16into, and they show high interest, he
0:18almost always messes it up. And he has
0:20to do this a few times before he learned
0:22this is there's a better way of going
0:23about it. And I was one of those guys.
0:25For instance, you know, I had a lot of
0:27women in my life that I really liked and
0:29when they would show a lot of attraction
0:30towards me, I would mess it up. But
0:32there was women that I didn't care so
0:33much about that I would do just fine
0:35with. And it was like, you know, I
0:36wouldn't even have to try with those.
0:37So, I was like, what is going on with
0:39those women that makes it so I fumble it
0:41with the women who are showing me high
0:43interest? So, I'm going to give you five
0:44things right off the bat that really
0:46prevent things from working out with a
0:48woman who's showing high interest at
0:50first. Some of them are in your control,
0:52and some of them are not in your
0:53control. But the things that we can
0:55control, I want us to make sure that
0:56those things are ironed out. So most of
0:59the time if a woman comes in, we show
1:00the right cadence, we show the right
1:02communication to keep them there. So
1:05it's important for us to define before
1:07we begin this what it means when a woman
1:09is showing high interest. And a perfect
1:11example of this would be a guy who I
1:13coached a while back. His name is Tom.
1:16And he's actually just graduated the
1:17program. He's doing great. But when he
1:19first came to me, he was getting a lot
1:20of women who were available for dates,
1:23who were showing attraction towards him.
1:25They were generally happier when they
1:26were around him. They were making
1:28themselves available. They were, you
1:30know, smiling a lot. They were
1:32responding to his text messages very
1:34well. Everything was going super
1:35smoothly at first. And it was like, wow,
1:38like this woman's amazingly attractive.
1:40She's really interested in me. And then
1:42slowly but surely, you know, she would
1:44stop doing that. the text messages would
1:47stop coming in. She would stop going for
1:49him. And he was always confused by this.
1:51He even got into relationships where he
1:53felt like, you know, it just slowly kind
1:56of, you know, dimmed out to the point
1:58where, you know, they didn't want to be
1:59together anymore. And he didn't know why
2:01this kept happening to him again and
2:03again. And it was so bad that he
2:04believed that the next relationship he
2:06would get in, that was inevitably what
2:08was going to happen. But I'm happy to
2:10say he's been with somebody for 4
2:11months, going on 5 months now, and
2:13they've been going as strong as ever. In
2:15fact, they're getting better. They're
2:16getting more into each other as time
2:18goes on. And that only happens when you
2:21do these things. All right? So, um I'm
2:23going to give you five things. The
2:24things that are within your control are
2:26generally when you make her too high of
2:29a priority. Okay? So, I'll explain.
2:31Thing one that I see a lot of guys do
2:33when they get initial high interest from
2:34a woman is they start having meaningless
2:36day-to-day conversations at the
2:38beginning of the dating process. Believe
2:40it or not, although a lot of women say
2:42they want to talk to a guy, they want to
2:43text him all day. She might be doing
2:45that to you. But if you start doing that
2:47to her back, she's going to start to
2:49judge you. And I don't care. You can
2:51talk to any woman and she will tell you,
2:53a lot of them will tell you that they
2:55want a guy to do that. They want to
2:56text. And when you start doing that,
2:59what happens is they start to lose
3:01attraction for you because they start
3:02believing that this guy is making me too
3:04much of a priority. He doesn't have
3:06higher priorities than me. You know,
3:08I've said this before on my videos. Your
3:10number one priority is your health. If
3:12you're younger, you don't have to
3:13prioritize this that much, but as you
3:14get older, it becomes more and more
3:16important. The second thing that you got
3:17to prioritize is your career. So, your
3:19career should be basically the thing
3:21that's most important that you're going
3:22to be focusing on every single day. If
3:24you can keep up with your health, that's
3:25something you can do. And the third
3:27thing is going to be your family, your
3:29friends, your best friends. And then
3:31number four is going to come in right
3:34there. If you started talking to a
3:35woman, she should be fourth at best. All
3:38right? So, know your priorities before
3:41you start talking to somebody. And if
3:42you're, you know, available to have
3:44meaningless conversations all day, well,
3:46what's that going to tell her? That
3:47probably means that you don't have a
3:48whole lot of other things going on. And
3:50even if she showed you very high
3:52interest at the beginning, she's going
3:53to start to judge you. So, I would keep
3:55the conversations to a minimum. This is
3:57not to say that you can't text and go
3:59back and forth. Um, but if you want,
4:00what I would do is I would schedule two
4:02times during the day where you can just,
4:03you know, check your messages, look at
4:04your phone, and handle all of that
4:06stuff. And we want to get to the point
4:07too, you know, eventually moving up to a
4:09date or time where you guys can meet in
4:11person. The second reason why women with
4:12a very high interest at the beginning
4:14will eventually ghost you is they found
4:16another guy. Now, in my experience, it
4:19usually doesn't happen unless you have
4:21started doing the other thing that I
4:23talk about, which is you've made her too
4:25high of a priority. So, she's already
4:26kind of seeing the cracks going on. And
4:29then she meets another guy who she can
4:31get really into where she doesn't have
4:32those cracks with. And slowly but
4:34surely, her interest starts to wayne.
4:36She becomes less available to you, more
4:38available to him. Suddenly, she's busy.
4:40And and and that's what tends to happen.
4:42Okay? I find that if a woman is really
4:44interested in a guy, it's very difficult
4:46for her to pursue two men at the same
4:48time. The most common way I've seen this
4:50is she'll show very high interest
4:51towards you and then she'll go on a trip
4:53or a vacation and she'll be gone for
4:55like a few weeks or something like that
4:57and because you can't have that, you
4:59know, she can't be in your presence, she
5:01she's not reminded of you, she's on the
5:03vacation high, maybe she meets another
5:05guy out there and and now she's focused
5:07on him. Um, but it usually happens with
5:10something that maybe we've done that's
5:11created those cracks to begin with.
5:12Cool. Number three, mirroring her
5:15interest. So like I said with the
5:16meaningless conversations that happen
5:18all day can also happen too is if you
5:20mirror her interest like let's say she
5:22says something I had an example um where
5:24I I coached a very famous DJ and uh he
5:27had a girl who saw him at one of his
5:29shows and of course he's up there and
5:31he's you know seen by a lot of people
5:33and uh so they start hanging out and she
5:35was just so interested in him and you
5:37know this girl was pretty she had like
5:38all the things going on with her. She
5:40was like the kind of girl that my DJ
5:42client was really into and he wasn't
5:44used to getting super high interest from
5:46women like her. And so what happened was
5:48that she started saying crazy things to
5:51him. She started saying like oh I you
5:53know want to grow old with you. They
5:55have known each other for 3 weeks and
5:57she's saying this I want to grow old
5:59with you after knowing somebody for 2
6:01and 1/2 weeks. Right? That's too soon to
6:03be saying that. And of course he said it
6:04back to her. He said I feel the same
6:06way. And then they, you know, and so you
6:08get this electric charge with somebody
6:10too soon. And as soon as she hears you
6:12say it, oh, now it becomes real. Now
6:15she's going to have to think about it.
6:16Am I really ready for that? Now, if
6:18you've never dated somebody like that,
6:19you probably think you're very ready for
6:21it. But in her mind, it's much easier
6:24for her to get a new guy and have this
6:26happen, this instant kind of connection
6:28thing, um, than it will be for you
6:30typically. And as a result, she starts
6:32to lose respect for you. So mirroring
6:34her interest too quickly could happen.
6:35you have to do is you have to be
6:36patient. I find that a lot of guys who
6:38haven't dated women like that person
6:41that you know is showing you high
6:42interest. Um they have a lot of trouble
6:44with this. And so that's why it works
6:46with women who you're not that
6:48interested in because if they say crazy
6:50things like that, you're like that's
6:51nice. You know, you're not you're not
6:53there yet. And so they think that you're
6:55at the right pace for them. They think
6:56you're the kind of guy who they should
6:58be going for. Um, but with the woman
6:59you're especially attracted to, you're
7:00not used to getting, you're like already
7:02enthusiastic and you want to make this
7:04work. And so you just you reciprocate
7:06everything that she's saying. You have
7:07to understand that when a woman chooses
7:09you, and if a woman is showing high
7:11interest at the beginning, she is
7:12choosing you, that you don't want to
7:15immediately choose her back. Recognize
7:17that she's chosen you. Ask her out on
7:19dates, move things forward, but control
7:21the pace at which you're moving things
7:24forward. and seeing her too often, which
7:26is another thing that I'll get into. Uh,
7:28that's actually actually number four.
7:30Seeing her too often during the week,
7:31you can see a woman three, four, five
7:33times a day and you've just met. It's
7:35like in physics, you have a sun. If a
7:38sun is really, really bright, it's
7:40really, really big. It burns through its
7:41hydrogen super quickly. That's the same
7:43thing that happens in relationships.
7:45Obviously, very different mechanism, but
7:47um, you get the point that I'm trying to
7:48make. You want to stagger it. Let her
7:50miss you. Let her look forward to
7:52meeting you. Let her have that moment
7:54where she goes through the range of
7:55emotions after a date where she calls
7:57her friend up, you know, starting to
7:59think about it, deciding if it's right
8:00for her. You want her to do all of that
8:02stuff. If you don't give her the ability
8:04to do that, it's going to feel
8:05overwhelming. It's going to feel too
8:07fast. She's not going to be into it. And
8:09again, this goes back to priorities.
8:11What guy has the time to hang out with
8:13someone they've just met three or four
8:15times in a week? You must not be doing
8:16very much if you had time for that. So
8:18have priorities in your life and make
8:20sure that they're not going to be your
8:21number one priority as soon as they've
8:23walted in. All right, number five is she
8:25just got over a breakup. So this could
8:27happen with someone who is going through
8:29a range of emotions. Maybe you look like
8:31her ex. Maybe for a very brief moment
8:33you gave her that feeling that she had
8:35with her ex and then when she's not with
8:37you, she feels that kind of depressed
8:38feeling. I find that women who have just
8:40got out of a relationship can show you
8:42very high interest and then they'll drop
8:44off a cliff very soon afterwards. So,
8:46you got to be prepared for that to
8:47happen. If she says she's just gotten
8:49out of a relationship, I would tell her
8:51that you think you guys should take it
8:54slow. Okay? If you're really into this
8:55person, you want to keep them around. If
8:57you just want to sleep with her, who
8:58cares, right? But in this case, you have
9:01to dictate the pace. Like I said, all
9:03right? And just because she's come in,
9:05don't think that, oh, I'm I'm better
9:07than the last guy who she dated. She's
9:08in a right state of mind. No, you got to
9:12be careful with that. Make sure she's
9:14proven to you that she is someone that
9:16you can trust yet. I don't know about
9:17you, but when I first start seeing
9:19somebody, I'm not ready to just dive
9:21right in. I got to see who they are
9:22first. I got to see how they react over
9:24a period of time. I have other things
9:25that I'm doing. And so going in at that
9:27appropriate pace with that person is a
9:30lot better. But in general, I would say
9:32women who have just gotten out of a
9:33relationship are not the best to date.
9:35So be prepared for a rocky road ahead.
9:37And don't try and force her to stay if
9:39she's doing other things. She's going
9:40through a whirlwind of emotions. You
9:42don't want to get dragged into that. So,
9:43those are the five reasons why I
9:45generally find that women with high
9:46interest will slowly start to lose
9:48interest. Now, you've seen a couple
9:49themes here. The pace of the
9:51relationship, not making her your number
9:53one priority, making sure that you don't
9:55let her emotions get your emotions
9:57carried away. That's out for her. She's
9:59in her feminine, but you got to be in
10:00your masculine. You got to be constant.
10:02You got to be in motion, and you got to
10:04be moving towards something. But move at
10:05an appropriate pace. If you guys are
10:07both sprinting towards it, you're going
10:09to fall off a cliff. So, make sure that
10:10the pace is right. Make sure that the
10:12masculinity is right. Make sure that
10:14you're still doing the same things that
10:16you did when you won her over in the
10:18first place. You know, I think all of
10:19this can be summed up like that. What I
10:21typically find is that guys will do this
10:23unconsciously. They will say, "I will
10:25stay the same person that I was when I
10:27won her over, but they do things
10:29subconsciously to show her that she is
10:32not that same person who she met." And
10:34so when you initially meet somebody,
10:36that person that won her over, be that
10:38guy and stay that