They Ghosted you and now they're back.Why? Do this now!

0:00Let me tell you why people who ghosted you come back. Critical questions you must ask

0:05if you choose to engage with them and the best way to respond to the whole ghosting

0:09phenomenon. Most people experience ghosting in their lifetime. You meet someone you really like,

0:14either online or in person, you may even go for a date together,

0:18and then all you hear after that is silence. All your attempts to get through to them fail.

0:23You can't seem to understand why this person seems to have fallen off the surface of the

0:27earth. You thought you have the chemistry but now it's become apparent that you were delusional.

0:33After that painful realization, you decided to pick up the piece,s forget them and move on,

0:39and now they're back on your phone and in your DM seeking your attention. What you do at this

0:45point in time is very important, and that's why you need to stay with me on this video.

0:54Welcome back; my name is Jessica. Ghosting is when someone you're seeing stops communicating

0:58with you without formally ending things or explaining why. This can take many different

1:03shapes and forms. Some ghosters will slowly start to give you shorter and shorter responses until

1:08reaching out to them no longer feels worth it, and some will just vanish into thin air, siezing

1:14to respond or get in touch with you entirely. Now whether the person you're thinking of is a

1:19former girlfriend or boyfriend, or bestie, you want to know why they ghosted. You want to know

1:24why they suddenly backed off and didn't want to spend time with you again, and most importantly,

1:29should you give them a second chance now that they're back in your life? Here are a few things

1:34I think you should keep in mind; you're not obligated to enable their thoughtlessness and

1:40entitled behavior, real friends don't ghost you and then come back when they need or want

1:46something, and no one is 100% reliable, but ghosters are at the low end of the spectrum.

1:53So let's highlight some reasons why people who ghost you actually tend to come back.

1:57Number one, they want attention. They're feeling less popular wherever they went or less welcome

2:03in their circles, and they figured they can still get some mileage out of the time that

2:09they spent with you. You like attention; they like attention now; if only they can just get

2:14you to respond to their super positive and affirming text messages. They could have you

2:18eating out the palm of their hand one more time. Number two, they noticed you're moving on,

2:22and they don't like it. They noticed your latest IG pictures right and want to know

2:27who you're looking so awfully cozy with. So up, they pop up with a friendly, flattering

2:34message. Ghosters who see you as backup won't like to see you moving on and being happy with

2:39someone else. If they're not 100% done with you, they expect you to remain alone and desperate.

2:45Number three, they want to prove you're theirs for the taking. They've left their mark on you,

2:50so in their minds, they don't see how you could possibly prefer or want anybody else than them.

2:56Anytime they want, they can just jerk your chai,n and you'll be ready to serve them again, at least

3:01that's what they think. Number four, they're bored and there's no one else available. They've

3:07got nothing exciting going on, and no one else is available to hang with, or they're bored of their

3:12current social circle and they remembered that they had some fun with you back in the day and

3:17bailed. They figured well why not try to get more of that if you're willing to give them? They might

3:24have ghosted you too soon, or maybe they shouldn't have ghosted you at all time will tell. First,

3:29they need to convince you that they're your best shot at having a good time. Number five,

3:33they're going through something, and they're looking to you for sympathy.

3:37You're the show that's a crime; they might even say you're good at making them feel better. That's

3:41your main purpose in their life, and once they feel better, they no longer have any use for

3:46you. Maybe you're the person they think of when they're hurting because they don't know anyone

3:51as an empathetic and generous as you, but you've noticed a pattern in their behavior. As soon as

3:56they feel better, they disappear, it's gone and when you're going through something difficult,

4:01they're nowhere to be found. Number six, they need your help with something. They know something

4:06you're good at, and they need your expertise or your assistance with that thing, or maybe you have

4:12connections that could prove useful to them, right so they need to keep you on a leash. Better yet,

4:16they're a little tight in the money department, and you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself.

4:21So here they are; after all if they took a bit to get back to you the last time you texted,

4:27it's not personal, right. When they realize their mistake, they didn't want to bother you with their

4:32problem, but you're the only one they can trust. If the main reason they're contacting you is be

4:37because of what you can do for them please tread carefully.

4:41Number seven, something reminds them of you. At least that's what they tell you

4:45to convince you of your importance to them. Maybe they haven't bothered keeping in touch

4:51but everywhere they go they see that things around them just keep reminding them of you.

4:58Number eight, they miss you. I mean they miss your smile, your hug, you smirk, your quirky fashion

5:03sense. I mean whatever it is, they miss something or everything about you and they swear to you that

5:09they had no idea just how much they would miss you when they disappeared. It doesn't normally happen,

5:15then you must be special. They can't imagine a world without you and maybe they actually believe

5:20all that. But while they're saying those nice thingsl pay attention to their actions and what

5:25they're actually trying to tell you. Number nine, their clueless. Now some people are

5:29generally unaware that their slowness to answer texts for hours or even days amounts to ghosting.

5:36They didn't even mean to ghost you, they they just didn't realize how important it was that you know

5:41they respond within a few hours of your latest text. The ones would take much longer to come back

5:46may also be clueless about your expectations since it's different from theirs. You can

5:51still tell them what you expect of a friend or a romantic partne for instance. How they respond to

5:56that can help you decide whether you want to you know pick up from where you left off. Number 10,

6:01they're looking for a rebound and you'll do well enough. Unless of course they find someone better

6:05before they meet up with you again in which case they'll probably ghost you all over again.

6:11Even if you do meet up and rekindle things with them to show them what they've been missing which

6:16assumes a lot chances are excellent that they'll dump you again once they got what they came for.

6:23Number 11, they're lazy. They can't be bothered with the whole dating thing just to find someone

6:28new to hook up with. They still have your contact number you and they'll use that because it's

6:34easier.They'll tag you on a wish you were here post taken somewhere that reminds them of you

6:40or they'll just send a flirty message and hope that you don't dwell on the whole ghosting thing.

6:45They're all about the moment and they'd like to share more of those moments, short fleeting

6:51moments with you because well you're there. Number 12, they can't stop thinking about you.

6:55Maybe they generally miss you and realize ghosting you is a mistake right. If they respect you enough

7:00they'll let you decide whether and how you'll allow them to make amends. They could say this

7:05because they know you, you want to believe it right. If you want to give them another chance

7:09though see if they're willing to take it slow and do things that interest you this time around. If

7:15they're doing this with self-gratification they'll show that soon enough and you'll be able to see

7:19through them. Ao what do you do when they return. Number one, remember how you felt when when you

7:24got ghosted regardless of how you may feel about the person who ghosted you. It can be overwhelming

7:28to hear from them again so think about how it felt when you first realized that you've been ghosted.

7:34You may have been shocked because you felt things were going well, maybe you felt even heartbroken

7:39or you didn't even care much about losing this person but it hurt your self-esteem. Identify how

7:45you really felt when this happened. It will affect whether or not you want to engage with them in the

7:51future again. Number two, think about whether it's worth responding to. If someone gets in touch with

7:57you after having ghosted you the temptation to respond and find out what happened and why they've

8:03gotten in touch with you can be overwhelming but think about whether it's really worth it and if

8:09you feel like it's not you can do one of the following. A, crickets; if you've decided that

8:17you don't need anything from your ghost, you don't have to respond. Responding in any way opens the

8:23door for further communication. If you're over it there's simply no need to complicate things. Don't

8:29give them the satisfaction of accomplishing what they set out to do which was to hear from you.

8:34Not only will they get the point, but it will feel so good to imagine them waiting for your response

8:40as well. Not responding puts a halt to potential conversation but there's always a chance of them

8:44texting you again so you know you might want to even think of maybe just blocking them, that will

8:51put a definite end to the conversation and willll get them out of your sight and out of your mind.

8:55B, unfollow them on social media. If you decide to get rid of your ghost once and for all,

9:00it's a good idea to proceed by unfollowing them. If you choose to end the relationship,

9:05getting them off your social media feeds will help you move on much easily. That's the ultimate trick

9:12to ghost busting. However, if you still want to engage then ask for a reason, as in a reason why

9:19they left and give it some careful thought ,that'll be number three. Rather than just

9:23letting this person slot back into your life no questions asked, you need to be direct with them.

9:28Call them out for what they did. Don't let them get away with it. If you do have an interest in

9:33carrying things on with them it's probably best not to throw it in their face, but you can still

9:39ask the question. Ask them why they ghosted you and then give some consideration as to whether you

9:44think their excuse was legitimate. Maybe they had a professional crisis, maybe something went wrong,

9:49maybe you know their getting over someone else or got scared of the prospect of commitment.

9:55Number four, tell them how their behavior made you feel. So it's important to talk through it,

10:00it's important for them to know how their ghosting actually made you feel. If you try to be cool and

10:05standoffish and pretend it didn't really bother you when it did, they might be more tempted to

10:10ghost you again further down the line or carry their ghosting ways into the future. Number five,

10:14listen to your gut. It's for you to decide whether there are reasons for ghosting you and there are

10:20now reasons for coming back are actually valid ones. Your gut will probably be able to tell

10:26you whether they're just making excuses or they had a genuine reason for ghosting you

10:31which you can forgive and maybe move on from. If something deep down inside you is screaming

10:36that you shouldn't trust them, that's probably a good reason for it. Your gut will also be able

10:41to tell you whether you really like this person enough to give them a second chance and finally,

10:46revenge, I mean, if revenge is the reason you want to respond to your ghost no one will fault

10:52you for that. Certainly not me, perhaps you've been waiting for an opportunity like this to end

10:57things formally. They should have ended things by being clear and communicative and now you

11:03have the opportunity to do so. You can tell them that you're not interested in having any kind

11:08of relationship with someone who is unstable as they are. Now is your chance to call the shots,

11:13so take it with no apologies. To wrap up, if you decide to take someone you ghosted back, make

11:19sure you're asking them these questions. Number one, why did you ghost me? I mean it's a pretty

11:25obvious question but if they want a chance to come back into your life then they need to be able to

11:30articulate what pushed them to disappear without a word. Number two, why are you reaching out now?

11:36Wssentially what do they want from you, what do they hope to accomplish by chatting you

11:42up again? Is it just to say hello, see how you're doing, find out what that really is. Number three,

11:49what will be different this time. Have they grown up in any way, changed at all? If you're going to

11:55give this person a second chance, you need to be sure that they don't pull such a stunt

12:00again. Number four, why should I give you a second chance? Now this should be a question they should

12:05readily be able to answer. You've got to know why this relationship is worth your time and effort,

12:10if the person who ghosts you doesn't know or can't give you good reasons why you should

12:15take them back then you probably shouldn't. I really hope that this video was helpful and

12:20will help you when it comes to navigating ghostly waters. My name is Jessica, thanks for watching

12:26the video. Smash the like button, subscribe to the channel and turn on notifications so you

12:30get notified every single time I post a new video. Cheers I'll see you in the next one