The Silent Epidemic That's More Dangerous Than Smoking

0:00There's a health crisis affecting

0:01somewhere near one in four people right

0:03now. It raises your risk of all cause

0:05mortality by up to 57%.

0:07It damages your heart, your brain, your

0:10immune system, and your ability to think

0:12clearly. And most people who have it

0:15don't think that they have it. I'm

0:16talking about loneliness. And before you

0:19click off thinking that this isn't for

0:21you, I want you to stay with me because

0:24the research on this one is some of the

0:25most

0:27genuinely sobering data that I've

0:29encountered in my career. And this isn't

0:30just apply to like the elderly widow

0:32living alone, which is what most people

0:34think about. It applies to the person

0:36with a full social calendar who still

0:38feels completely unseen.

0:41It also applies to the high achiever

0:43who's been heads down building something

0:45for years. And I'm sure a lot of you can

0:47resonate with that. It applies to the

0:50young adults more than any other group

0:52right now. And that's some of the

0:54craziest part of the data. This video is

0:56going to show you what loneliness is

0:58actually doing inside your body, why

1:00it's getting worse, and what actually

1:03moves the needle here. Because there are

1:05specific science-backed things that you

1:07can do to help. I'm going to be moving

1:09through this very efficiently because I

1:10respect your time. This doesn't have to

1:12be a 30-minute long video. I'm going to

1:14try to do it as concisely as possible.

1:16I'll also reference a lot of data. I

1:18will drop the links to all those studies

1:19in the description in case you want to

1:20reference them yourself, okay? But stay

1:22for all of this because this might be

1:25the video that actually changes how you

1:26live. So first, I want to draw a clear

1:28line between two things that the

1:30research treats as separate. The first

1:32is social isolation. This is more

1:34objective. It means that you have few

1:37social contacts, you live alone, you

1:39don't go out much, and your network is

1:41pretty small.

1:43Loneliness is subjective. It's the

1:46internal experience of feeling

1:48disconnected. And here's the part that I

1:51think a lot of people are surprised

1:52with. You can be surrounded by people

1:55and be profoundly lonely. Many of you

1:57probably felt this before. You can a

2:00relatively quiet, solitary life and feel

2:03completely at peace. Hence the

2:05subjective part of this. That being

2:07said, both are serious. But they work

2:09through slightly different pathways and

2:11they have different effects on your

2:12health. The reason I think this is so

2:14powerful is because most people assume

2:16that loneliness is simply an emotion,

2:19like some feeling that you just have to

2:20push through and hustle culture your way

2:22through, or something that you manage.

2:24The research says otherwise. Very

2:26clearly.

2:27A large study done by Columbia

2:28researchers followed 11,000 Americans

2:31for more than a decade. It found that

2:33people experiencing persistent

2:35loneliness had a 57%

2:38higher hazard of dying compared to those

2:40who never experienced loneliness.

2:43Social isolation showed a 28% increase.

2:47To put that into perspective,

2:49that is in the same category of risk as

2:52smoking and obesity.

2:54The American Heart Association has

2:56formally recognized both loneliness and

2:58social isolation as independent risk

3:01factors for cardiovascular and brain

3:03health. There's a separate meta-analysis

3:05that pulled together 35 studies

3:07involving over 77,000 people and

3:10confirmed loneliness as an independent

3:12risk factor for all cause mortality.

3:14This was independent of depression,

3:16which is important because a lot of

3:18people just assume it's a proxy for

3:20feeling sad when it's being

3:22distinguished as its own separate risk

3:24factor. And then there's this one. A

3:27study published in the Proceedings of

3:29the National Academy of Sciences looked

3:31at cumulative loneliness. Not just

3:34whether someone was currently lonely,

3:36but how many points in their life they

3:37experienced it. And what they found was

3:40a dose-response relationship. The more

3:42time points across your life that

3:44reported loneliness, the higher your

3:46risk of dying was. And it seemed to have

3:49compounded. Meaning, sometimes it's not

3:51just a bad week or a bad year.

3:53Apparently, chronic loneliness is

3:55literally a biological load that you're

3:58carrying forward. I, as well as many

4:00other physicians, have seen this play

4:01out. And we're particularly used to

4:03seeing that in the elderly. These people

4:05who have been quietly disconnected for

4:07years, not to some extreme dramatic

4:11degree, but they felt very alone. And

4:14you can tell that the body really kept

4:16score. What's so interesting about this,

4:19and kind of why I'm making this video,

4:21is we're seeing the trend switch to the

4:23younger generations. And that's what I'm

4:25going to talk about here in a minute. I

4:26also want to talk about what this is

4:28doing to your heart and your brain.

4:30This is where I want to get a little bit

4:32more specific with it, and I want you to

4:33understand the mechanism. Loneliness and

4:35social isolation are associated with

4:37elevated inflammatory markers,

4:39specifically IL-6 and C-reactive

4:41protein. Chronic inflammation is a

4:43driver of cardiovascular disease,

4:45cognitive health, and accelerated aging.

4:47When you're chronically disconnected,

4:50your body reads that as a threat. Your

4:52stress response stays elevated, cortisol

4:55stays higher than it should, and then

4:58there's a term called allostatic load,

4:59which is essentially the cumulative wear

5:01and tear on your body from like chronic

5:03stress over time, that builds up. That

5:05shows up in the heart. Studies show that

5:07social isolation increased the risk of

5:10stroke around 32%.

5:12It increases the risk of heart failure

5:13by 20 to 23%. People who are socially

5:16isolated after a heart attack are two to

5:18three times more likely to have poor

5:21outcomes over the following years. It

5:23shows up in the brain, too. Loneliness

5:25is associated with a significantly

5:27higher risk of dementia. Multiple

5:29studies have linked it to cognitive

5:30decline, reduced executive function, and

5:33impaired decision-making.

5:35One meta-analysis found a 26% increase

5:38in risk of dementia in people

5:40experiencing chronic loneliness. And

5:42this is definitely something we've seen

5:43demonstrated over generations. There's

5:45also a biological aging component of

5:48this as well.

5:49The study done by Columbia researchers

5:52found that people with persistent

5:53loneliness and social isolation showed

5:56measurable signs of accelerated

5:58biological aging.

6:00What that means is that their biological

6:02data points showed that they were older

6:04than their driver's license said that

6:06they were. Now, that was a lot of data

6:08points thrown at you really quickly. But

6:10I did say that I'd respect your time and

6:12try to move quickly. If it was too

6:13dense, I'm going to paraphrase it a

6:15little bit here now. And also, you can

6:17always rewatch it and I'll link the

6:18studies below if you want to go through

6:20those individually. But I also want to

6:21take this time to say that I want to be

6:23very clear about something. And I try to

6:25say that in any video that I do like

6:27this. This is not about catastrophizing.

6:30This is not a fear-mongering type video.

6:35I'm telling you this because it's

6:37fixable.

6:38But you have to know what you're dealing

6:40with before you take it seriously.

6:42That's why I structured the video this

6:44way. I want to touch on a point that I

6:46quickly touched on earlier. And this is

6:48what caught me as the most striking in

6:51all of this data.

6:52When most people picture loneliness,

6:54including how we talk about it and study

6:56it as physicians, they picture an

6:58elderly person living alone.

7:00And yes,

7:02social isolation is extremely common in

7:05older adults, around one in four.

7:07It is incredibly real, it is incredibly

7:09documented, and it matters. But

7:12surveys are now consistently showing

7:15that the loneliest demographic in the

7:17United States is young adults, 18 to 25

7:20years old.

7:21The generation that has more ways to be

7:24connected than any other generation in

7:26human history.

7:28And yet they are reporting the highest

7:29rates of loneliness. If you are not new

7:32here and you've seen my other videos,

7:34you know some of the factors that I'm

7:35about to talk about. The American Heart

7:37Association's scientific statement flags

7:39this explicitly.

7:41Greater social media use, less

7:43engagement in meaningful in-person

7:45activity, and less experience with

7:48emotional regulation. Young adulthood is

7:51naturally a period where identity is

7:53shifting and people are learning how to

7:55relate to the world. But we have created

7:58conditions that make this more

8:00isolating, not less. You can have 2,000

8:03followers like everyone does nowadays,

8:05apparently. You can text constantly. You

8:08can be in a group chat with 40 people

8:11and still feel like no one actually

8:13knows you. Despite as much as people

8:15want to brush this off, that freaking

8:18matters. We have built a society that is

8:21structurally hostile to deep connection.

8:25It is almost the antithesis of it. That

8:27is why I continuously on this channel

8:30try to push the importance of the fact

8:32that you have this one life. Please,

8:35live it to your fullest. And I

8:36continually try to get you to think

8:39deeply. We work remotely. We move

8:42cities. We optimize our schedules. We

8:45consume content instead of having

8:46conversations. We are on our phones in

8:49the same room as the people we love. We

8:51are constantly stimulated, but rarely is

8:55it deep. And so much of this can have

8:58benefit and connect us deeper. But we've

9:01taken it way too far. And honestly, what

9:04I see in clinic a lot is people are busy

9:07and lonely at the same time. They're not

9:10just like sitting there doing nothing.

9:11That's almost never the case in the

9:14younger generation. They're overwhelmed.

9:16They are wildly over scheduled, and they

9:18are still profoundly disconnected

9:21despite all these obligations. People

9:23will use busyness as a kind of cover.

9:26And I think that that continuously

9:28delays the realization of the problem.

9:30The research shows that social isolation

9:32and loneliness worsened significantly

9:35after COVID. We know this. But the

9:37trajectory was already heading in the

9:39direction before the pandemic. COVID

9:42just accelerated something that was

9:43already in motion. Why I think it's so

9:45easy to fall into this trap is because

9:47the behaviors that make it worse are the

9:49same behaviors that feel like a relief

9:51in the short term. Scrolling endlessly

9:53instead of calling someone, or watching

9:55something instead of going somewhere,

9:57staying comfortable instead of reaching

9:59out, which feels very vulnerable

10:01sometimes and a little bit uncertain to

10:03some people. Your nervous system, if

10:05left to autopilot, will oftentimes

10:07choose the path of least resistance. So,

10:09let's talk about fixes here. What works?

10:12And we're going to cover this in a few

10:14different tones. I don't usually like to

10:16give blanket statements for things, and

10:18I'm not going to here because it's very

10:20person-specific, and you need to figure

10:22out what resonates with you the most.

10:24First and foremost, let's talk about the

10:25clear, research-driven interventions.

10:28So, starting at the top, psychological

10:30intervention. The most robust evidence

10:33that we have for reducing loneliness

10:35comes from approaches that address the

10:37internal experience and not just your

10:40external ones. Cognitive behavioral

10:42therapy in particular has shown

10:44meaningful results.

10:45Why is this?

10:47Because chronic loneliness changes how

10:49you see social situations. You start

10:52interpreting neutral interactions as

10:55rejections.

10:56You pull back. You become hypervigilant

10:59to threats.

11:00A lot of you probably really relate to

11:02that. Cognitive behavioral therapy can

11:04interrupt that pattern. And if you don't

11:05want to go that far, you don't always

11:07have to be in formal therapy to apply

11:08this logic. You just need to be doing

11:10the internal work as well because

11:13sometimes adding activities to your

11:15calendar doesn't just fix this internal

11:17state that many of you might find

11:18yourselves in. As a little caveat to

11:20that as well, um if anxiety is a really

11:23big problem in that look into something

11:25like EMDR therapy. It's a different

11:28format, and it could be very effective

11:30for high anxiety-driven issues. And

11:32second,

11:33quality over quantity. I cannot say that

11:36enough. This needs to be a consistent

11:38thing for you. Like I was saying

11:40earlier, the research doesn't just

11:42reward people with incredibly large

11:44social networks.

11:45It rewards people with meaningful

11:48contact. You don't need 50 friends. That

11:51honestly might be hard to keep up with.

11:54You just need a few solid people who you

11:56actually feel at peace with and connect

11:58with them often. And third, reduce the

12:01friction to real contact here. Phone

12:03calls will beat text. In-person beats

12:05phone calls, okay?

12:07The depth of interaction matters. When

12:10you're face-to-face with someone that

12:11you trust, your nervous system can

12:13genuinely settle in. I know that you've

12:15felt this before. Oxytocin, vagal tone,

12:19stress biomarkers, they all shift to the

12:22positive directions.

12:24You're not going to get like this

12:25scrolling again. I want to add one more

12:28tidbit, and I'm about to finish up here,

12:29but I I say there's layers to this,

12:31right? It's very person-specific. The

12:33things that I just told you were

12:34obviously very research-driven and what

12:36I was pulling from the data, but I

12:38started there

12:40because I wanted to avoid the cliché

12:43go join a group gym, go join a bowling

12:47team, whatever it may be, right?

12:50But it's not just this one-size-fits-all

12:54black and white thing. That helps so

12:56many people. It just depends on where

12:58you're at. I'll give you an example. I'm

13:00about to move cities, and I don't know a

13:03ton of people in that new city.

13:05And honestly, my plan to meet people is

13:08to join a group gym setting, and I like

13:10to play pickleball. So, I plan on

13:12joining group pickleball groups and

13:14things like that. A good church. That

13:17works for me. That's where I'm at. But

13:20this is not one-size-fits-all, and I'm

13:22tired of people treating it that way.

13:24So, now you have many options to try to

13:26feel out what would work best for you.

13:28There's also a bonus to this. If you

13:31join like a group gym or workout session

13:33or some sort of athletics or something,

13:35you're getting a two-for-one. Moving

13:37your body with other people can be

13:39amazing. This has also showed real

13:42promise in the research. You get the

13:44biological improvements of physical

13:46movement and the biological improvements

13:49of connection all at the same time.

13:50There's a reason that humans have pretty

13:52much always done physical things

13:54together. So, this has gone longer than

13:56I intended, but here is your challenge

13:58this week cuz I usually end with a good

14:00challenge.

14:01This week, reach out to one person

14:03you've been meaning to connect with and

14:05actually call them. Not a text. Give

14:07them a call.

14:08Better yet, make a plan to see them if

14:10possible, okay? And if you can't think

14:12of a single person, that's important.

14:14Work from there. If you want to go

14:16deeper on this, on the systems, the

14:18habits, the mindset for actually

14:20changing your life, and you want to do

14:22it with other people, which is kind of

14:24the entire point of this video,

14:26I built a new community for exactly

14:28this. It's a group of people who are

14:30actually building the kind of life that

14:32we're talking about here with direct

14:34access to me as well, so we can work

14:36individually with you. Protocols and the

14:38accountability that makes all of this

14:40stick. I will link it at the top

14:42description for you.

14:43And if you want all of that as well

14:46and don't really care to talk to other

14:47people,

14:49here you go. It's all in my book, From

14:51Dull to Doctor. It is written exactly

14:53for this, for rebuilding your brain,

14:56your body, your mind, and your entire

14:58life from the ground up.

15:01I wrote this. It took me 3 years to get

15:03this to you because I wanted to make

15:04sure it was right.

15:06It's the guide that I wish that I had

15:08when I was going through this.

15:11I'll link it below as well. It's in all

15:12formats. And I say this because people

15:15want different things, and I genuinely

15:16just tried to get you options to meet

15:18you with where you're at. I have a free

15:20blueprint below. It's got a lot of the

15:22similar things in it. It's completely

15:24free. It's worth checking out. I'll drop

15:26that for you. Please like, comment,

15:28subscribe. Let me know your thoughts.

15:30Turn on the notifications so you don't

15:32miss another amazing video like this. I

15:33drop one every week, sometimes twice a

15:35week. If you found it valuable, share it

15:37with someone that you care about. It is

15:40free, and it's the least that you can do

15:42to help a loved one. Thanks for hanging

15:44in there. If you did, your attention

15:45span is better than 99% of people.

15:48I'm proud of you. Keep going.

15:50And as always,

15:53I'm Dr. Matt Jones.

15:55Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in

15:57the next one.